GEARS OF WAR 3 (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews thick necked refrigerator armor marine 3.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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[@SaintGat99]

No matter how much you love a game, Zero Punctuation always gives points that make you look over to the side and mutter,"Yeah, that's true..."

[@Never_heart]

yep that's true. now if only the lets say extremist fans would admit it rather than screaming "YATZHEE IS WRONG!!!!!!" hell I am a huge Halo fan and I love his stuff and though I sometimes disagree but usually agree with him.

[@garybraidwood5539]

portal 1

[@ECL28E]

That or, if you dislike the game, it's fun to hear yahtzee deconstruct it and piss all over the pieces

[@kenweller4766]

NarcissBlue I think he skips over them because he considers them multiplayer,

[@Fir7shadow]

***** Not just that, but he's usually given a very short time, a couple of weeks at most, for his MMO reviews. The majority of an MMO's content is usually centered around endgame (or in Eve Online's case, large group activities) so short reviews of MMOs are going to gloss over a large portion of the games.

[@Deadlynightshade9]

I love the way Yahtzee can make a character with no arms, look like he is crossing his arms xD 2.09

[@Dice12K]

Right? I find it quite fantastic that I can tell what the limbless character's limbs are supposed to look like. xD

[@adrianshephard6321]

I love how he characterizes how either losing your mind or freaking out looks, like the bad acid trip quote at 2:23, lol

[@jupitersgodzilla7114]

2:09

[@MegaZeta]

What Yahtzee says can’t be emphasized enough: people say “plot doesn’t matter” only in response to criticisms of a dumb plot. If a dumb plot receives undeserved praise, suddenly it matters a great deal to the people who would otherwise say it didn’t.

[@SchadeTree]

I don't agree with that notion. Saying "the plot doesn't matter" for a game just means that it wasn't focused on creating a good narrative. A game with a terrible story can still be good if the gameplay and/or visuals make up for it. You could also go in the other direction and say that "gameplay doesn't matter" when talking about things like walking sims and VNs. It's always better when a game is both fun to play and has a good story, but you can't expect something like that from hacks like Epic Games.

[@techsmechs2485]

@@SchadeTree I think the issue with this is that it assumes the game in question is not driven by plot. If the focus is on gameplay, then a cheesy, vague, or even scarcely coherent plot won't matter, yeah. But if a game is going to actively attempt to emotionally invest you in its plot - and by extension its gameplay, as your connection to it - then there's no excuse for what is therefore simply a poor writing exercise. When that happens, one has to divide their attention between gameplay, and a story that actively breaks immersion through nonsense. Because if you're not going to do it, you simply shouldn't do it.

[@SchadeTree]

@@techsmechs2485 That's more or less what I meant. My original point was that a game can have a low effort story if they'd rather focus on something else like gameplay, but if a game puts extended focus on it's narrative and the narrative is shitty, then that makes the game as a whole shitty. It also depends on how much the game forces the narrative onto the player, like having non-skippable cutscenes and the like.

[@EDFslayer]

there was a guy in my high school who was religiously into gears of war, i saw this review and as a test, asked what the storyline is, this guys reply was 'space war' and then walked off to go play football or something

[@slugofborg6532]

As someone who's played an unhealthy amount of Gears 3 and completed Gears 1 and Judgement, that's not even a fair description, because the series has literally nothing to do with outer space. It's more like if Guillermo Del Toro rebooted "The Mole People" into a modern-military epic.

[@gregorsamsa9264]

The issue is that 40k has demons, evil robots, and the Medieval Catholic Church in Space. What does Gears of War have.

[@de_salle]

Noah Blank Chest high walls

[@sir.mannington]

@Noah Blank A consistent video game franchise

[@TheReZisTLust]

@@gregorsamsa9264 chainsaw guns & a chicken in the pipes

[@MrPiccoloku]

The literal visualization of "raising the stakes"...it's fucking wonderful.

[@trustworthytim4762]

I just realized something: There's no real difference between the Locust and the COGs. They're both heavy-set males who communicate mostly in grunts and chainsaw vasectomies, are mostly gray until they're at shotgun distance, and don't have any real motivation besides racism against the other guys. The one difference is I know the Locust are supposed to be amoral D-bags motivated by pure bloodlust, not the guys I'm supposed to be rooting for.

[@TheDivineHunger]

Except the locust are heard speaking, both sides have female combatants and they actually make references to how horrible the COG actually are in the game. Also the COG aren't particularly gray. Genocide is a pretty big motivation.

[@newlandpencilnut4754]

I actually preferred he Locust.

[@Fir7shadow]

Actually, it's revealed in GoW3 that the Locust are motivated by the Lambent. Marcus's father was trying to help the Locust Queen, but only came up with a solution that killed both the Lambent and the Locust so she decided to invade the surface world (which is where the COG comes in). As it turns out, in motivation at least, both the COG and the Locust are motivated by the same thing: survival.

[@laupnamron]

'This is the last installment' Fast-forward four years to Microsoft announcing Gears of War 4.

[@PupdudePwns]

You expected anything else?

[@RiveryJerald]

judgement? you forgot

[@harrygoad329]

And then fast forward again to 2018 and Gears of War 5 being announced

[@skysnow2495]

Mass Effect 3 pulling the "exploding planet card" makes sense. Since the plot had pretty much always been that the reapers are going to blow up all the planets.

[@Dreamerx47]

The pulling out of asses came with the ending, even though they had an ending written that seemed to actually make sense and had been hinted at in mass effect 2 already. The crucible was bad enought but the starchild thing was even worse.

[@ShadowMurloc483]

juho aalto the only hint in mass effect 2 was a planet with a description that said "star child" in it that's it and i only think they used that because they couldn't figure out how to end mass effect 3 and wanted a way to end it that said "look we hinted this in the other games we don't know why everyone is so angry" also the ending made no fucking sense "we are sentient machines sent to destroy organics so they don't make sentient machines that destroy organics" the fuck?

[@Rebellions]

broman39931 Yup, but I think juho aalto was referring to the thing in ME2 with dark matter killing the suns as far as "making sense" goes, which was hinted at on Haestrom.

[@nemeru3352]

No? They wanted to stop life from ending it self

[@SnugNap]

marcus's daaaaaad! the best character ever fucking written -Lyle mcdouchebag

[@Penningtontj]

I love how the Hallucination Wasp also plays along.

[@TheShadesOfBlack]

im sure yahtzee was THRILLED to find out theres gonna be more

[@laupnamron]

On the upside, at least Marcus' kid doesn't have an upturned mixing bowl for a neck. Though I bet his dad probably disowned him for not wearing half a car or not having muscles like Popeye after eating gamma irradiated spinach.

[@Asguard82]

Cant wait to see his review of 4 :p

[@benjaminsousa7657]

yup

[@852kronos]

I just got to say it 1) lambent introduced in gears 2 2) anya, introduced as the love interest in gears 1 3)marcus' dad being alive was a spoiler at the end of the gears 2 credits 4)they never say the planets going to explode, the lambent are just gonna kill everything

[@batmenace15]

Every time I think about Gears I just feel sorry for John DiMaggio's poor vocal chords having to roar constantly while simultaneously gargling staples.

[@timebomb4562]

he's the one voicing marcus "scratch one grub" fenix

[@sacredeight]

Wait, so the guy who voiced Bender had to do that? His chords must be made out of titanium, for all the shouting he has to do.

[@doggknight2k7]

It's funny how, when you pause the video an read the script, you can read up to some the actual words he's saying at that point..... Somehow, i am MIND BLOWN AT THIS.

[@johnmirra6707]

I'm actually playing this for the first time after being reintroduced to the series through 4 & 5 and it's amazing how different but the same this game is haha.

[@richardmulledy3857]

The cleavage department: ensuring employment for brain cells for time immemorial.

[@xdeser2949]

funny, because this game has no cleavage whatsoever

[@TheZekk34]

***** Which is one of the many reasons it sucks so hard.

[@adrianshephard6321]

Because GOW didn't have an ounce of cleavage, its why he is making more room for it then being bothered to keep the game from being remembered in his mind, and both the spank bank and cleavage department takes up a lot of memory...

[@xdeser2949]

TheZekk34 thats a really stupid reason to dislike a game

[@Penningtontj]

@@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic563 Mammaries over memories?

[@SkaiCyan]

I don't normally like to go on "this review is wrong" rants but this IS the internet: -Lambent were introduced as early as Gears of War 1 (there was one section of exploding Wretches), they just didn't have a name. There was also Immulsion sickness in humans called Rust Lung, which we find out is the cause of early Lambency. Moving on to Gears 2: There's a cutscene with a Locust Drone becoming Lambent, as well as the civil war between them when you arrive at the inner sanctum. ALSO inside the sanctum, if you listen to the Queen's speech in that section she's rallying against the Lambent scourge, though again she never actually mentions them by name. Isn't the Lambent Livathan the end boss of 2 as well? -The "planet exploding" (which I'm assuming is just a metaphor/colloquialism) was alluded to during, though mostly at the end of, Gears of War 2. The Locusts are actively coming up from underneath it instead of hiding in their REALLY FUCKING GOOD HIDING SPOT. This was actually caused by the Lightmass Bomb that you set off at the end of 1, they then immediately come up in 2, and we just think it's because they're mad. The cause of this is actually of course, the Lambent that they're running from. Which we made stronger. Great job wrecking it heroes. -Sam is new, you're right. You can be forgiven for forgetting Anya though, we saw her twice in two games I think? You heard her voice all the damn time though. -Marcus' dad is a gigantic Chekhov's Gun, you're right. I'm mad at myself for missing it, but they DID pretty much outright tell us he was alive at the end of 2. -Gears 3 is anything but brown. Seriously, this game is actually beautiful with colors. Jarringly so, compared to the first two. I would have never believed Unreal Engine was even CAPABLE of color until this came out! Then Guilty Gear Xrd was a thing. I didn't do any research or anything to pull all this up, I don't play this game series religiously (I didn't even OWN a 360 until 3 came out). I've played each campaign to completion maybe twice each. If you missed this stuff it's because you weren't paying attention or you didn't care. If you're going to criticize Gears 3, do it on the ASS PULL that is that Anti-Immulsion/Lambent bomb that covers the WHOLE PLANET and CONVENIENTLY kills all the normal Locust and even Marcus' dad too. Except the Queen who Marcus has to stab personally! Seriously that was fucking dumb.

[@SkaiCyan]

***** Lol, it's pretty much the sole reason I had Xbox live so I enjoyed it quite a bit when I played it. My brothers played it too so I've actually seen cutscenes a few more times than I initially let on.

[@RealEnerjak]

Seriously Yahtzee, if I played that drinking game of whenever Marcus Phoenix says "go, move, and come on" I would be dead of alcohol poisoning by the first hour.

[@koryfredrick1164]

I think its part of his plan to have every GoW fan die from alcohol overdose

[@RealEnerjak]

***** Glad I'm not a GOW fan then.

[@jimfixedme]

i swear hes the only youtuber who can get away with 240p videos

[@GaleGrim]

I think its bucuse anything higher than that dosent really add anything...

[@99sonder]

It's kind of like zelda wind waker, games like Battlefield 3 may need 720p to look good, but wind waker looks good because of the art style, not how many polygons the characters are built up by. (with that said, I do think that making zelda wind waker HD was still unnecessary because it still looks better than Brown theft driving IV and Battlefild 3 wether it got 360p or 1800p).

[@SilentTristerosEmpire]

What did you expect? Gears of War is about chainsaw bayonet vasectomies. Plot and character is for girls and people with sensibly proportioned necks.

[@blitzburn2871]

If i wrote Marcus i would keep his rage consistent, but as the trilogy proceeded i would gradualy replace righteous fury with fatigued anger as he has spent most of his life fighting against an enemy the refuses to go away no matter how hard he tries. By GoW3 he would be fueled by frustration as opposed to "God bless my country, fuck the enemy, hoo-rah". Intense frustration spawned by great efforts being rendered null is something most people can relate to.

[@paulkerrigan9857]

I love Yahtzee. It's almost enough to make me buy a girly wig and move to Australia.

[@84warhead]

Yep, playing XCOM right now, seriously one of the most intense games I've ever played. Every decision both in and out of combat have consequences (permanent if ironman mode is turned on), losing a soldier in combat carries weight as opposed to most games in it's genre, and I've grown attached to one of my soldiers who has the nickname socks. Seriously, he's been out manned and out gunned a few times and still made it through. I panic everytime he gets ambushed.

[@waffleduck1573]

"This is the final installment" "This is the final installment" "THIS IS THE FINAL INSTALLMENT"

[@HarryS117]

I am a big gears fan but that was just fantastic could not stop laughing.

[@GuitarrAssassin]

I hate this game. Not because of the gameplay, story, or overall lack of fucks I give about the characters. No, I hate this game because some asshole in the editing department decided to use "Madworld" by Gary Joules for Dom's death scene. For starters, it didn't fit the scene at all. Secondly, I can't go on any video of the song without seeing 50 million comments saying "RIP Dom". For God's sake, no one cares.

[@stantheheadhumongous9402]

Nah just because the TV commercial of the first GOW game used this song, so they decided to use it again to put an end to the story

[@hairhelmet24]

I fucking lost it at 4:05

[@AndyMcCy]

One of his complaints about it was that if you lose a couple of guys from your main team, you're completely fucked but I really liked that aspect. It made you value each member of your team rather than looking on them as another wave of expendable soldiers and you actually had to put thought into their actions to ensure their survival.

[@Atomicpigmk5]

We'll tears of War 4 was just announced at E3, oh for F*UCK SAKE!

[@captaincrazah6155]

Plot twist the world actually did blow up and now takes place in space...out wait guns don't work space....this game takes place in earth and Ali....oh wait already happened.

[@TehDompie]

I've heard arguments for Gears (and Halo for that matter) saying that the story is incredibly deep and emotional, you just have to read the books. While there's a chance that's true, I'm not about to read a book about a FPS that didn't bother putting the "Good" story in the actual $65.00 game. And I also completely agree with you Yahtzee.

[@stoppi89]

One can never have enough extensions for the cleavage department

[@KillerOrca]

I'd comment that the backstory of GOW 3 makes everything make a lot more sense...but I doubt Yatzee even knows theres books.

[@computernoise2209]

"...last installment" oof

[@Benobot99]

The cinematics to me are what really made this game shine. The story and humour really made me keep interested too. Horde has a lot of replay value, yet it wasn't even mentioned in this review, and neither was Beast mode. They were/are both fun.

[@NomnomJawsnomnom]

I liked Gears 2 because it hit all the sequel marks and did everything bigger, but Gears 3 just felt like a slog. Everything from the end of the ship section to Anvil Gate was just a big brown blur of boring. And boy was I thrilled when I saw that the end of Gears 3 was exactly the same as the previous two: "Hey, here's a super huge thing to wipe out all the locust, just push the button".

[@VinceMouse]

That Character Who Nobly Sacrificed Themselves didn't have to do it, it was more of an acceptance that they couldn't go on any more and wanted to take as many of those bastards as they could out with them, in a way that was, if I remember correctly, actually rather constructive to helping the rest of the characters continue on with the plot.

[@fretless58]

MARCUS' DAD

[@mr.orangeaide5260]

marcus IS dad

[@ryangeoghagan3076]

I read the books beforehand. Something In kept thinking throughout was that anyone who didn't would be lost. I don't think anyone said the world was going to end. And I actually remember the game well because I like it.

[@DJEylisium]

Gears Of War 1 was and still si the best GoW, 2 is okay, a few nice extras, 3 is okay also, again with a few nice extra's but...Judgement...I'm a GoW fan and wouldn't touch go with a 100 foot cook caked in peanut butter and honey

[@Cleath78]

Spelling and correct punctuation are things. Although this is the internet, soooo.....

[@DJEylisium]

Cleath78 I typed that fast without thought of either, so i couldn't care less you nazi

[@josecabrera7819]

you're not a gears of war fan...but cool story.

[@Jaceblue04]

3:38 Marcus Fenix saying "Yay." Now I've seen everything.

[@BenKuyt64]

Am I allowed to like spunkgargleweewee AND Quake, Doom, Wolfenstein, UT, etc?

[@captaincrazah6155]

No its either spunkgargleweewee or good games

[@ethericboy]

The thing I remember was fighting the locust Queen riding her monster of a bumble bee With lots of Sharp teeth firing a supercharged "Melta gun" from "Space Marines" stuck in its mouth

[@The_Based_Batman]

G.O.W. 1: Good. Had some flaws but, was alright. G.O.W. 2: Pretty good. Better than 1. G.O.W. 3: Eh... Okay. G.O.W. J: Nevermind...

[@jacybrooks8566]

Gears 3 was fairy good but not really better than gears 2

[@madeline1815]

+Hbtb Now, with multiplayer! GOW 1: Lagged like shit, but when it worked was good. GOW 2: Still lagged like shit (about 75%), but not as often. GOW 3: Lags like shit 25% of the time (Most people consider this the best GOW game for the multiplayer.) GOW J: Didn't lag like shit, but...... WHY DOES THIS GAME EXIST?! WHY?!

[@bleedingpepper]

+Hbtb The only true positive from GOW3 is that the actual gameplay is more fluid; faster; and smoother compared to the previous games. My favourite was GOW2 because the campaign was better; it had Horde mode; and I basically played it to death so I have happy memories of it. GOW1 was good, but the control were a bit clunky, but it was dark and gritty, so that was a positive.

[@Madden2000]

G.O.W 3 was the best

[@georgeleinberger8670]

A child could understand the story. It's a shooter, a third person shooter that is as good as any other AAA title on the market

[@stevenchoza6391]

Not really...

[@math6844]

If you want to watch a bunch of sweaty men huddle together behind a wall, be my guest. The sensible people will be over here, playing actually challenging games.

[@eggdrasilwarthog6507]

So by your logic then half-life should suck.... because I played it through all the way and all I remember is a guy in a suit....

[@math6844]

Why do you use so many ellipses? No wonder you forgot Half Life, you forget the end of each sentence so you just trail off!

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

That's Hitman you're thinking of. Never mind forgettable plots, you seem to have a concussion

[@Never_heart]

the Lambent were from the original and 2nd game. in the first they were used for a weird startle horror level, and in the 2nd they were the entire reason the locusts were getting despirate to take the surface, but they don't really come in until the later levels.

[@aberam1]

Anyone else stop to read Yahtzee's script?

[@jp5394]

Still a fun game, especially on coop and multiplayer

[@jacoblevine1877]

Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... ha aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... ok, ok ok In, whoo, thats funny.

[@jp5394]

Jacob Levine What´s so funny? It may not be the best game with coop and multiplayer out there but it´s not bad

[@dronesrunderrated5882]

There is no "The planet will explode thing" in the game

[@TheCorrodedMan]

DronesR Underrated are you forgetting the absolute fuckton of raw,highly explosive imulsion flowing through every crack and crevice beneath the surface of Sera?

[@gumgumdookuin7963]

Adam Fenix: "Sera's dying, Marcus. The whole planet's infected."

[@Ilovevidgames123]

the elements of the gameplay work better than most shooters, with excellent enemy variety, decent AI, no redundancy in the stable of varied weapons, excellent map design, and a cover system that really has become the benchmark for the series. Yahtzee's usually right, but he seems to have missed the mark on this one.

[@TheDakattack3000]

I love Yahtzee's critiques, but I think he overlooks gears too much. it's true that epic doesn't make the best of stories, but if you did try to absorb as much as you could along with reading the books, you'd feel it more. as for the plot, the world is dying because the fuel used by the inhabitants is becoming this species of creatures that want to kill everyone not them. you also fail to admit the horde mode, beast mode and Multiplayer, you only focus on the campaign. horde mode 2.0 is very fun and offers more replay value compared to gears 2 horde. beast is a fun distraction for you to play as locust and fuck shit up. and it's Multiplayer is pretty good. I wouldn't say its perfect but they made many gametypes to help appeal to Old and new player of the series. overall gears 3 to me is superior to one or two and for shit sure judgment. you'd be forgiven for not giving a fuck about that piece of garbage.

[@mehdude9999]

I stopped at "reading the books." If you can't tell the story well in-game, and expect us to look at external sources for story, then you have not crafted a flowing narrative, you've done what Halo and Destiny have done: fragmented your still-mediocre story to make it look like something more expansive than it actually is. So no, the story isn't good, it doesn't matter if there is an expanded-universe, it's still crummy in the form that it was originally conveyed in.

[@mehdude9999]

And you obviously know nothing about Yahtzee because he doesn't do multiplayer.

[@TheDakattack3000]

mehdude9999 I'm well aware that Yahtzee does not do mp. I've seen enough of his videos to understand that, however in some of his videos (his recent one to mention co-op play like black ops 3) he does play cooperative play with people and critiques them. To focus solely on Gears story as the overall strength is extremely narrow and limiting yourself to all other aspects is biased as hell. I know he likes to take the piss and I laugh at all his videos (even this one) and I understand at least about not playing competitive mulitplayer in the games even (the community is toxic as hell to newcomers) the co-op does deserve recognition. The horde mode stepped up alot from the original one in 2 by having multiple fortification buildables and actually make you spend the points you earn. They give challenges that award you more money and items that make the challenge less grueling and they made the waves themselves more fun* (*they added boss waves to every tenth wave, 5 players in a game as oppose to 4, etc.) The beast mode is also as enjoyable on a smaller scale. You destroy the cog with locust creatures. I was actually surprised that Yahtzee didnt at least take the piss on saying something like "At least I can take out my frustration on the generic big bulky gorilla men by attacking them with big and bulkier gorilla men, spiders, centipedes and an ex girlfriend on her period reminiscing the times she was abused [berserker picture] because Gears has a beast mode..." because the mode is great. Having friends destroy the cog in an inverse role is equally fun and interesting. As for the story, if you didnt read my previous comment in the beginning, I said that Epic writing stories in Gears is not strong or even good, but this was by far the strongest of the three (even if average at best) and it actually did have good points and revelations* (Adam explains the reason e-day happened, the imulsion was always alive and ready to genetically alter everything and the queen, adam fenix, dom and prescott die as major characters). There is nothing wrong though with writing books about the games though that are canon. I can see your points so no hate comrade, just wanted to give you mine =).

[@gumgumdookuin7963]

Shut the feck up about the 'ya need to read the books'! That line wholes no sense! Piss off.

[@11Finman]

I found the site.. the no response was due to me realizing how many videos are out there that I haven't seen yet and spending the next few hours watching a Yahtzee marathon lol

[@falloutnewvegasboy]

What this planet blowing up thing? That was never part of the story, like, at all.

[@falloutnewvegasboy]

From what I have heard here the man never played Gears 3. I dont like it that much either, but he got a LOT of stuff wrong. Planet blowing up? Them saying the father was alive in gears 2? He probably looked things up and made a review about it.

[@videogameaddicsattic]

CJM cola cole the planet exploding is not literal its more symbolic of "shit has hit the fan so hard its launched into another fan"

[@videogameaddicsattic]

CJM cola cole sort of like how when he reviewed skyrim and kept saying "Godzilla born" and replaced dragon with godzilla

[@aghostshell]

Marcus's dad said mentions it like once or twice, and it becomes a thing. It's just a last minute thrown in plot device, which there was no reason for it to be thrown in. Whenever it was said I was like, why? The whole planet was full of the Imulsion before the humans landed, and used it as fuel, how does it cause the planet to explode now?

[@falloutnewvegasboy]

I remember that none

[@jamesreid9284]

Frankly, I'd be terrified if a giant wasp sat down next to me to play a game.

[@Red-S-267]

.... Yahtzee is really crap at remembering plots.

[@gumgumdookuin7963]

Less ya wrote a book, piss off.

[@SuperMcmonster]

i have a little brother that is in love with Gears 3, i think i show that little bastard this video to take him down a notch

[@MatthewRoles]

I like how in this video, he complains the plot is essentially non-existent, but then is obnoxious enough to claim Halo 4 has a story that is 'too detailed' for his infantile mind.

[@spamhere1123]

Yep, it's his style. He will bash a game for one end of a spectrum, and turn right around for the next and bash it for the opposite. A game is too linear/a game is too open. A game has a happy ending--boring!/a game has a sad ending--depressing! I guess he's not here to be happy (or to actually review games): he's here to make witty videos that we laugh at.

[@connormackay7098]

spamhere1123 There isn't some set parameter of what to do to make a game good, that's the point. Lots of games try lots of different things and fuck them up in lots of different ways. A game can be too linear, and the next one be too open ended. It's about how the linearity or open endedness is handled specifically And there's plenty of games he does like, such as Saints Row 2, Portal, XCOM: Enemy Unknown, Bioshock, Spec Ops The Line, Psychonauts, and a bunch of others I forgot. What I like about Yahtzee is that he remembers that a critic is supposed to be critical of what they're reviewing, not just go on about how wonderful it is like most game reviewers who are totally not being paid to give specifically good reviews or anything. Even the games he likes he takes the time to specify everything that's wrong with them as well. Except Portal, which he just said was "absolutely sublime from start to finish".

[@anarchistmugwump9137]

Because you can complain about one thing and then another. I don't think you guys understand hypocrisy. It's possible to think your steak is too rare and then when it's cooked think it's over done. Also he fully admitted to not playing all of Halo. And a plot can be too detailed. Not everyone is intrigued by the minutia of a fictional universe. That's what those crappy (IMO) video game books are for.

[@MatthewRoles]

Andrew Krska You want a plot that's too detailed. Try looking at the Warhammer universe or D&D lores. That is when it's too complex :P

[@spamhere1123]

Matthew Roles DON'T YOU DARE ANYTHING AGAINST WH40K, OR THE INQUISITION WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, HERETIC!! Lol, but seriously I would say that W40k at least (I don't know anything about D and D) has less of a _plot_ per se and more of a _setting_, with many smaller plots abounding. I, for one, really like the grandiose, heavily detailed settings, and WH40k has the manliest, beastliest setting of all. It rocks. This is often true of these other games. They have a setting, and the plot takes place within a larger setting. To say the plot is "too complicated" in these cases is 1. 9 times out of 10 someone being lazy--try reading a book for once, people; and 2. a misnomer; the plot is usually fairly simple--the setting is complex. In most of these games, even the person who hasn't the faintest idea of the lore can still enjoy the gameplay for what it is. The setting and lore is there if you want to look for it. Why do the developers have to spoon-feed lore to a new gamer just getting in on a 3rd or 4th sequel?

[@Kyosho101]

I love how he's going on about how planetary destruction is the least creative thing you can do with a game, and all the while there's an ad sitting right beside the video for a game called "Planetary Annihilation".

[@Bostaffninja88]

I don't care. I like the plot. It makes sense if you read the books.

[@trashf1re]

THE FRIKKIN PLOT??!?! THE GAME IS JUST BORING!!!

[@Jgoth420]

Radar Hawk Those aren't plot points.

[@Jgoth420]

Radar Hawk But... that's nothing to do with the ploy, what's so hard to understand?

[@thatmexicanuzer]

What kind of a justification is that? If a story can't stand on it's own through their own narrative, then it doesn't make sense and it's not good. That be like The Hunger Game movies leaving NOTHING to explain and saying at the end: "If you want to understand the film better, you should read the books"

[@thatmexicanuzer]

Radar Hawk that's my point

[@Ilovevidgames123]

He invented the lightmass process, which is how energy is harvested from imulsion. He also invented the Hammer of Dawn and the weapon used to kill the lambent.

[@pseudobleedingheart9075]

I can't understand why GoW is popular. It has shit plot, terrible character designs, and excruciatingly slow gameplay.

[@qqq386]

+Pseudo Bleeding Heart It was the first long runnig third person shooter with the shoulder view

[@napkin60]

+Pseudo Bleeding Heart Because the gameplay is centered around guns and death. It's like playing a digital bag of potato chips. It's not interesting, engaging, or memorable at all, you just munch away until you get sick of it and disappointed with what you've been doing with your life for the past few hours.

[@noble300000]

God forbid somebody likes something you don't

[@noble300000]

+Pseudo Bleeding Heart Being a douchebag isn't going to help your case

[@pseudobleedingheart9075]

Kermit the Frog What case? I asked a simple question to see if there was anything I was overlooking about a franchise I couldn't understand, not presenting a detailed thesis about why Gears of War is a shit series, and I certainly wasn't trying to get into an argument with a muppet who spends his time roleplaying as a Muppet

[@LiZaRdK28]

I think behind his voice there is "white noise" that causes me to not want to stop watching all of his videos over and over

[@MonAyinZbanC]

hes a video game critic its his job to point out the flaws in games because quite honestly a lot of mainstream shooters have them

[@SunTzuSaidFight]

I ran out of videos on the last one. TIME TO WATCH 'EM AGAIN

[@fen7662]

I'm glad the whole camera bobbling thing was mentioned... my ex tried to get me to play Gears of War 2 while I actually had a migraine once. I just wanted to throttle him at that point. He kept assuring me that I'd like the series or that I'd find it interesting if I paid attention, but I couldn't get past the "compelling" one-liners that the characters like to make such as "eat shit and die." I'm by no means prepared for a gripping story full of such involved and deep characters.

[@1upD]

3:05 I actually did nod off while playing Gears of War 3 coop once. The banter always woke me up in time for me to shoot whatever was in front of me.

[@84warhead]

Funny thing is, he actually does praise and recommend games from time to time. As of right now I'm downloading XCOM: Enemy unknown from steam based on his recommendation alone. (hint: from past experience, when Yahtzee says a game is good, it's usually really damn good)

[@Knights_of_the_Nine]

lol notice at the end there a marcus standing there like in EVERY loading screen for the game

[@skateordie002]

I think I worded it wrong. I meant additions to the formula like a branching storyline, strike force missions, changing your loadout in campaign and things like that.

[@CosmicLatte1]

"the chunk brigade" Gears of War in a nutshell everyone.

[@Balt0kx]

*sees video in the sub box* WOOOOHOOOOO!

[@BoBnfishy]

chest high. short walls that you can see over if you stand upright, and can be used for cover when under fire(that's gunfire).

[@codussigma]

there was literally nothing about the planet exploding

[@baikoleda1]

"Holy shit. I live on a planet" best quote

[@moviemaker826]

I'm leaving this as a note for Yahtzee. The Lambent were in the first game. They became more prominent in the second game and became the main enemy in the second. They are also widely spread out through the series of books that were released...That is all.

[@mrdosht]

2:00 The best retort for ANY comment fist-fight

[@eggdrasilwarthog6507]

"Not in any practical way"!? They are very different! Try to do a melee a lambent and you will notice a difference

[@icefoxkeiko]

Details that may have appeared seemingly "out of the blue" in the 3rd game is actually due to the fact that there are 3 books that take place between the 2nd and 3rd game. So the Epic Games assumed the players had read the books for any of it to make sense.

[@DOCTOROCTAGONAPUSS]

That was the whole main plot of GOW probably, tearing alien hide apart in a fury of blood not seen since Mortal combat games, add guns instead of knives, and wrap a story around it.

[@Ironbat92]

thick necked refrigerator armor marine 3, best alternative title ever.

[@ICantSplel]

Sooo true, I've already forgotten that whole series. I almost always go back and play games on the hardest difficulty at least once but not gears 3. Like he said, I just wanted to forget it.

[@doctorhate747]

Gears of war is my favorite game series but you do have a point the camera could not shake when you crouch run is that what it's called i never knew but you opened up a new point for me to think about about thank you. Also keep up the good vids my man

[@joshuajoestar5863]

I'm a console pleb that had to fight for my $80 dollar Xbox on Black Friday, and gets all of his games used. I'm broke, and at the end of the day, sawing down some baddies is the kind of challengless mindless fun I need to unwind. But I actually liked the plot to gears of war (which you've described inaccurately, seeing as how there is no mention of the planet exploding. Than again I am a simple person, so

[@xdeser2]

Hmmm....I should be writing a 10 page essay on Shakespear... *Proceedes to watch 2 straight hours of Zero Punctuation*

[@NipplesTheBrave]

Yahtzee, I recently played through all of Gears 3 in a single sitting, probably because I'm not to right in the head, and while I thought it was fun while it lasted, I completely agree with you. I don't remember a bloody thing from it, and it was only a few days ago that I finished it.

[@HangmanOfficialUploads]

lets all do a high five and pause in mid air! *HIGH FIVES*

[@fen7662]

Trust me, he played it at my house enough that I pretty much have the plot dialog memorized. I don't need to actually play it myself.

[@ViscaBarcaInter]

With the proviso that I literally played about 5 online matches across all the games, I liked them all, even Judgment. The gameplay was the same to me, I don't get why everyone hated it. Sure it's not as good, and prequels are always less worthwhile, but the actual playing was pretty much the same.

[@skullyairsoft80]

I remember enjoying playing the original Gears games back when they came out, but when I go back and try to play them again I just get bored and quit within 5 minutes.

[@NthDoctorWho]

good point

[@nicholasduncan7918]

Yes you are right i found myself just going through the motions even on thr hardest difficulty

[@Kemonokami]

With all due haste, Rothchild! *hops into an old, beat-up muscle car and floors it, driving past the city limits of Gears of War 3 (Zero Punctuation) and into the distant unknown.*

[@Jaceblue04]

That's how the ENTIRE video game industry is these days. I've already rolled my eyes at the commercial for the Playstation 4.

[@Seiffer55]

You are the single greatest reviewer ever.

[@skateordie002]

Thank you for giving me more insight into that.

[@IDevilLordI]

even though i love all gows i still love this ep, mainly cause i like playing online tough ....

[@L33THAX0R33]

thats the reason these games are made. when bungie (or however its spelled or called) passed halo over its like sharing a joint at a party, it wont change as it goes around, people just tend to cherish it more.

[@AxelXGabriel]

He's listed out 5 good reasons why he never comments on Multiplayer: 1. Austraila doesn't have that many people or servers compared to the US. 2. He's a critic so he doesn't have time to play Multiplayer and get used to it and the people who've played it forever who insta-kills him. 3. Nothing ever changes, its the same maps with the same guns and the same strategy so it gets boring fast. 4. Because the Single Player has to stand up on its own. You cant rely on others playing forever.

[@zzbenxx19]

There are three colours in Gears 3 1. Brown 2.Grey 3.Muzzle flash

[@MrHeyheyhey27]

I never said it was, but I don't really mind. It's Epic's own IP, and they can do what they want with it. Books are just another way to tell a story.