Gender Dysphoria After Bottom Surgery

[@Jammidodger]

Go check out today's video sponsor Pride Counseling: pridecounseling.com/JammiDodger

[@moved.6963]

Thank you jammi!! You have helped me out so much, and i love learning about and supporting other people!!

[@Prickly_Cactus_1993]

HI Jammi

[@jasone-s2527]

Just wondering How would you label a relationship between a bigender and a genderfluid

[@luvsx5703]

😊

[@rainydays3.5]

@@jasone-s2527 significant others? partners? romantic relationship? if you're comfortable with boy/girlfriend at some points than that too, or you could say datemates or datefriends or just say you're dating ;) idk, just some options

[@OneTopic]

“...I’m not talking about my butt.” I did not need to chuckle this hard.

[@isadorakirmayr8876]

Look at who is here! (Love your content btw)

[@Sam-sp4pt]

:O someone familiar!

[@rainydays3.5]

yes you did OT.

[@ItIsLuna]

I know you!

[@EvanMMD3939]

hey, onetopic!

[@cgmeyo]

Instead of the reverser butter analogy, you could explain it as "sweeping a dirty floor". At first, dirt is everywhere, so it's bothering, but in a small amount, all over the place. But once you start sweeping, it collects in a pile of dirt, that gets bigger, and you can't leave that giant pile of dirt in the middle of your living room, can you?

[@charsiupau20]

Wait that's really smart

[@michaelwoon]

i was also thinking sieving materials, like you start off with a sieve with big holes and once you remove big parts, it gets refined to smaller and smaller parts

[@queerfennec5249]

I just accidentally came out to my best friend, then she came out to me so um It got very awkward after that

[@aeiou4184]

Try not to let it affect your relationship. Theyre still the same person they have always been but now you know more about them.

[@dreamknight1776]

My best friend was the first person I came out to and I told her she was my crush and a week later she told me she was bi and later said she liked me and then we kind of just went on and acasually was like "love you" then the feelings went away and we are still besties and then she got together with my other lesbian friend and they broke up so our friend group is chaos but its cool to play wingman for them

[@Brandyalla]

@A Wild Plushie Homophobic homosexuals make me sad. They must be so unhappy :(

[@lillian.1111]

@A Wild Plushie Wait so she thinks you're a lesbian after coming out as bi/poly/pan? Either way that sucks bro

[@drowninginideas_]

I decided to come out as *lesbian* to my *lesbian* friend (i didn’t know i was enby at the time). idek if she understood because i sent her a combination flag (asexual and lesbian) and maybe she thought i had made it for her- it ended being awkward because we were both confused as to what on earth the conversation had become-

[@miles-lk7po]

youtube:ja- me:shut up im already here

[@EvanMMD3939]

me too!

[@GreyPunkWolf]

Yo-tube. Ngl that made me laugh way more than it should have. Kinda feels like a street thug version of KZbin, really.

[@miles-lk7po]

@@GreyPunkWolf OOP

[@katkatar_66]

Lol same🤣

[@GINSHOTGUN]

SAMEEE

[@karendaniel620]

I'm a cisgender, hetero female and nosey AF. However, I know not to step on boundaries and ask the kind of questions you are answering IRL. It's satisfying to hear you share your experience.

[@notmychairnotmyproblem]

Same. Having a chance to hear about these experiences is greatly appreciated.

[@Christina-hj4hh]

I’m same (hetero ciswoman). I subscribe to learn more and to work on unconscious bias :)

[@bread8095]

Heyo, I'm not a cishet but I'm CIS. Obviously we kind and it's ok to be wrong, but don't proposely misuse pronouns etc.

[@EmEm78]

Same, and I want to be as informed as possible so I can raise my 2 children to be respectful, sensitive, and kind to everyone. As someone who was raised by pretty old-fashioned (read: covertly bigoted) boomer parents - I just didn't grow up with any awareness of how to approach a LOT of topics in a sensitive and appropriate way. Jamie is not only fantastic advocate, he also informs in such a relatable, kind way. I also just really enjoy his content and the wholesome positivity he radiates.

[@alam5055]

Same. Trans people sharing their experiences helps not only other trans people, but also us, cis folks, who just try to understand it better. It's eye-opening and definetely helps us to be better allies and support our trans friends better

[@m44n7unu7]

After i came out, my mom said "finally you came out of that glass closet"

[@nerdynobody574]

oh yikes haha

[@mjzudba801]

lol

[@marionmetathink3234]

That's wholesome. Seems like she perceived that you were holding back on who you really are wished for you to make that step towards your authentic self. Am I wrong ?

[@totallynotlilly]

omg i love her lmao

[@lildipper1047]

One way glass

[@mingyusmop9907]

jamie is a cinnamon roll and now his hair looks like a cinnamon roll too ! crying !

[@squeenixu]

I thought he was a jammie-dodger???

[@azulBjort_1406]

It does (*´ω｀*)

[@iampidgeon6923]

UwU

[@Tiggster-qr8mw]

UωU

[@mingyusmop9907]

@@squeenixu he’s a combination of various baked goods.

[@artiesafari6437]

When you started talking about being able to hear your deadname without flinching, that gave me so much hope. I started testosterone earlier this month and legally changed my name back in October. My name was my biggest source of dysphoria for so long (to the point I thought I didn't have much physical dysphoria... heh...) and even now, when literally nobody deadnames me, hearing that name even in regards to other people hurts. I still struggle to say the name even in relation to other people because it still is that uncomfortable for me. I hope over the years that goes away, because it's a fairly common name and if I ever met a trans woman/transfeminine person with that name, I don't want to make them feel like I'm avoiding using a name that gives them so much euphoria.

[@mikkogeneration]

Highschool was a fucking nightmare with that when I came out as genderfluid and a new name. I still have to legally change it.

[@Jenny-qx7wk]

It taken my a bit to get used to not being called my deadname. I even hung out with a guy who has it which at first was uncomfortable but, also honestly really helped me. They all use my new name. I'd say 6 months in was when I've started to get comfortable hearing it (so long as its not being used at me).

[@rachael4345]

Not sure if this applies to gender dysphoria, but exposure therapy might help. This helped me with my zombie phobia tremendously, so it might be worth a try with the help of a therapist. It was so severe that the word zombie would give me a panic attack, so possibly approaching your dead name slowly so it won't give you anxiety would help. Like Jamie said though, it's not to get comfy with being dead named, it's just to be comfy when you meet someone with that name. I would not recommend doing exposure therapy on your own though, the first step is learning how to prevent a panic attack and that is really freaking hard without help.

[@dandylion2775]

Yes, I feel you. I will not be able to get hormones or surgery (if I choose to, which I believe I will have too surgery once I'm old enough+financially stable) for quite a few years, I still go by a shortened name from my deadname which I've been using 50/50 with my birth one since I was 4 and now almost exclusively use my chosen one. I still get very very uncomfortable and anxious when I hear my deadname (almost always talking about me, I've met 1 person who shares my name in my entire life) or when people ID me as my AGAB.

[@erikwolf999]

If it helps any, I changed my name about 9 months ago and I've been on T for 13 months now. It got better for me (deadname is insanely common) and it gradually gets better with time. Also someone else mentioned exposure therapy, I would recommend this and ask that you seek professional help to work through what coping mechanisms you find work for managing panic attacks. Everyone is different, so you may very well respond to exposure therapy positively. I wish you luck, friend.

[@aribethlove905]

Is it better to come out to everyone or make sure specific people don’t know? Love your videos and you! Thank you!💙

[@ryleighd7147]

It depends. If you know someone won't accept you and ghost you, ok kick you out, etc., it's better for them not to know. If you know you won't be safe or you have mixed thoughts about it don't come out to them. Hope this helps!

[@aribethlove905]

@@ryleighd7147 thank you! Yes it did help💙

[@migaud7789]

I think it's best to come out to everyone, barring people who you think might cause you physical or ongoing emotional harm of course. Like if youre living with a parent who's going to torment you about it, keep it from them for your safety and emotional wellbeing. But other than that, fuck it

[@overlordtoad4827]

Côme out to someone you know will accept you first and someone who will support you, then come out to family so if they kick you out u have someone to rely on, but that is worst case scenario so don’t worrie :) I came out to my friends first and then my family cuz I didn’t feel as nervous to tell my friends but in the end it’s all up to u. Good luck :) I hope ur friends and family r accepting :D BUT IF U FEEL UNSAFE DONT COME OUT TO THEM ;)

[@Lena-xl3ph]

yes, if you know people won’t accept you, cut them off. I know it’s not that easy but like if you tell them maybe they’ll accept you even if you think they won’t. And if they don’t, they don’t deserve you anyways. If you think they’ll harm you, I wouldn’t come out though, or make sure you’re in a safe situation at first. That’s only my opinion of course. You got this :)

[@koppytko1759]

It's actually annoying that every time i hear my deadname, even if it's not related to me i just feel SO uncomfortable and SO sad and suff and i just want to hide somewhere and cry...

[@maxineohara9914]

I’m the same way don’t worry. It happens almost everywhere at school and happens multiple times a day even though my school knows I don’t use that name. Once I got deadnamed like 6 times in three minutes and I had a breakdown. I understand

[@Mud_Pies]

If it helps you feel any better, you aren't the only person who struggles with even "small" (They're not really small, people should respect your name and pronouns, but y'know what I mean, right?) things. I was at my girlfriend's house (she's trans) and her family called her handsome. She squeezed my hand and then the second we got back into her room, she almost started crying right there. It's horrible to see her hurting like that, but it was also pretty eye-opening at the same time. I'm cis, so I don't struggle with dysphoria or anything like that, but I know about it and what it is. But I had no idea someone's dysphoria could be that bad. Just know that you're not the only one who feels it this deeply, and it's perfectly okay that you do. And anyone who doesn't respect your name and pronouns doesn't deserve your respect either. (And sorry for the whole essay-)

[@MistyRainClouds06]

No one but my mum knows I'm transgender and suffering so badly from disphoria. It's so bad that I've completely shut out from everyone else and i can't even look down in the shower because I'm so uncomfortable with my body

[@logicallyblue3814]

I was zoning out while walking home and someone said my deadname and I was immediately grounded again. It was so weird.

[@themeatcircuss]

I am transgender and often when I hear my deadname/female pronouns I just...disassociate from them. I usually feel like, "But that's not me? I'm Alex and I'm a guy" It feels awful when my family constantly says "You're such a pretty girl!" all the time

[@RPGLover87]

It's interesting that the euphoria and dysphoria seem to be in a direct opposition - as one covers more of the general area it becomes diluted and the other intensifies in the few areas it still exists. Initially you were dysphoric about EVERYTHING , then gradually on T euphoria started to creep in with the shape changing, fat redistribution and hair growth, but as more of that fell into place the dysphoria started intensifying. It's just a shame it doesn't go all the way in the other direction, with most of the body being low-key dysphoric at first but then that ONE thing that you do like being a really intense joy. It's like a game of splatoon in a way where sometimes the whole level is covered in blue that makes the small vangards of pink more noticeable and striking and vice versa. Like when almost everything is euphoric, the one thing left over becomes a massive honking beacon of insecurity.

[@13._.1]

Imagine being smart 😅

[@RPGLover87]

@@13._.1 Don't have to :P (kidding

[@mrgreenleafx]

Thank you for that Splatoon reference! Will be my go to image now to describe my dysphoria

[@alphaslootari3126]

I think it's important to point out that you can stop experiencing dysphoria without experiencing euphoria. In my own experience, I am not euphoric when I pass as my gender, I just feel a lack of dysphoria.

[@aylen7062]

That might explain why some of us feel more dysphoria (or rather being more aware of it) after we realise we are trans (and therefore stop misgendering ourselves). It has always been there but we just tried to ignore it and changes are making everything more clear.

[@nor3384]

jammie: "transy advice" me: stares at screen intensely

[@liquidkey8204]

I am cis and don't really know anything about dysphoria but I'm very curious about it, so thank you! This was fascinating!

[@AK-jt9gx]

Kudos on making an effort to learn about other people’s experiences 💙

[@Dutch3DMaster]

Good for trying to inform yourself, it is so important sometimes. Next to this video, I sometimes explained gender dysphoria to cis-people by explaining a situation in a store where an employee keeps misgendering you and you correct them because it feels uncomfortable, which is basically what happens with gender dysphoria :).

[@space_veggies]

After I started T my chest dysphoria got wayyyy worse, but my bottom dysphoria decreased a bit. I've had top surgery now and my chest dysphoria is all but gone. Honestly? For me, top surgery was life saving. It marked a point in my life where things really started looking up for me. Now I'm looking into getting meta hopefully within a year from now, turns out there's a really great surgeon in my area! I'm excited for the next step in my medical transition 😊

[@reaganeidemiller7132]

I'm getting bottom surgery in 6 days; it's the exact opposite one, but this helped anyway!

[@emmakrumm6399]

That's great! Wish you nothing but the best for healing and stuff

[@lillian.1111]

That's exciting I'm so happy for you babe

[@wjejo3709]

congratulations !!

[@therainbowziege2317]

Congrats!

[@reaganeidemiller7132]

Thank you all! I'm really excited!

[@granpatommy475]

If you are ever dysphoric just remember Jerry is stinky

[@granpatommy475]

@Unk0wn L0ser i was talking about my dog B)

[@granpatommy475]

@Unk0wn L0ser I understand buster 😎✋✨

[@biggaylol5438]

@@granpatommy475 They just said their name is jerry, not buster!

[@ryn2844]

Huh? How would that help me?

[@granpatommy475]

@@ryn2844 idk it’s just a funny thing to think about 🦆✨

[@jasone-s2527]

Quick tip: when you come out, BE CLEAR I had to come out to my mum basically 3 times and I think I have to again A) I wasn't clear enough about what was changing B) I didn't say what I wanted to physically change C) I sent a link to a binder but I don't think she knows what it is BE CLEAR P.s. I'm bigender Edit: I'm genuinely surprised this many people liked/commented so thanks XD

[@elisebikker]

Could you explain to me what bigender means?

[@featherfallgamer7543]

HELLO, BIGENDER FREIND. I'm bigenderflux and I've never met someone with the same/a similar gender to me :). I also agree, parents especially have trouble processing it if you aren't clear. Thanks for the tip

[@featherfallgamer7543]

@@elisebikker Bigender means someone has two different genders at the same time. For example, someone could be both male and female, both male and agender, or something like that. I'm bigenderflux, which means I have two genders (for me its female and agender) and I'm always somewhere between them but the one I'm more towards is constantly shifting, whereas a bigender person would have a static gender.

[@HeyImDepressed]

I ASKED my parents to call me he/him and my chosen boi name and they refuse to :

[@jasone-s2527]

@@HeyImDepressed then they don't deserve to have you in their life Ur amazing👌

[@kasvimethi7497]

Kudos to Jamie for being such a helpful resource for trans guys everywhere. Keep up the good work!

[@ghostcookie21]

Im pre everything and im scared that if i do get surgerys and fully transition, ill still feel dysphoric because im not cis

[@aribethlove905]

I am pre everything too. Of what I’ve heard and researched, it’s different for everyone. Now, I don’t have experience so it’s fine if u don’t listen to me😂 But there are groups that might be able to help you learn more about it and help you except things💙 Hope this helps✌🏻

[@FearFreddyKrueger]

It will be a thought that occurs, but let me tell you. It’s still worth it, the bliss you feel when you start seeing changes feels so much better. It’s something you think about less and less over time. When, you and everyone else starts seeing you for you

[@shilohstuart3841]

Honestly, it's good to recognize and come to terms with this feeling. It doesn't matter how much or little you transition, you won't be cis. And a lot of trans people struggle with this. Having a support group that shares that experience, or even just a therapist that understands can go a long way

[@skoldpa]

In my experience, even if you still feel dysphoric from times to times, it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I'll gladly take the occasional feeling of dysphoria I feel now over the absolute and constant dread I felt some years ago

[@squeenixu]

I would imagine it would still be better than not transitioning at all.i mean I haven't even come out yet soo...

[@dannyphantom9878]

This came at a perfect time, since my top surgery is this week :D Edit: obligatory "boy, am I glad I got that off my chest" :)

[@mightbeavampire]

OMG DUDE/COMRADE GOOD LUCK IM SO PROUD OF YOU

[@dannyphantom9878]

@@mightbeavampire AHHHHH, THANK YOU!!! ^^

[@moiaussi7722]

Congratulations comrade

[@dannyphantom9878]

@@moiaussi7722 thx :D

[@Hip_Albatross]

congrats man :))

[@Love.chlo3]

OMGGG JAMIE I really wanna say a big thank you I am 13 and have a disability called Cereal palsy and you helped me discover who I was and made me the person I am today I’m still on the way to finding acceptance from my parents and family but you’re a Videos encouraged me, thank you xx stay safe 💕💕👑✨

[@anca6702]

I can't even imagine how hard must be for trans people! You truly have an ally in me! 💖💖💖

[@emmathe82nd]

Me too

[@peachiequeen3897]

Same here

[@emilyrose3652]

Thanks!

[@DJ-kt5bk]

Hey Jamie could you possibly do some research and do some stuff on helping with non-binary dysphoria? Don’t worry If you can’t I just was wondering

[@drowninginideas_]

I would like this

[@DJ-kt5bk]

@@drowninginideas_ ❤️❤️❤️

[@theyoutubeanalyst3731]

This Is literally driving me crazy

[@megp9id]

I was wondering too

[@Mud_Pies]

That would be amazing. My best friend is non-binary and still struggling to find exactly what fits for them. I'm sure anything could help

[@nanner3200]

As the Mom of a trans kid I would love more of this stuff. A lot of it I already understand but there is never enough education on any topic. Thank you my 2nd favorite FtM human.

[@satoamv]

you're such a great mom.

[@bethanyfearns7447]

I just remembered that a while ago I wrote like 3 pages on why you have changed my life and helped me through my problems...... For my English work lol and I got a 10/10 mark for it 😂

[@carlinab.4575]

Who else thinks that Jamie's hair looks so cool styled this way? :)

[@miche8868]

yeah his hair actually looks awesome like this

[@DieAlteistwiederda]

Honestly he would look great with even longer hair and his thick beard too. Might just be me being into men with longer hair though.

[@kimberlysevastyanenko3798]

Eh. I don't know. I think he would look good with shorter hair.

[@kai-of2wx]

Can you (if you haven't already) do a video on hope to cope with dysphoria while you're young? I'm almost 13 and I know for s fact that my parents aren't going to accept me when I come out, so I'm planning on staying in the closet for a while. Since I'm gonna stay in the closet, I'm going to have to deal with dysphoria for at least another 7 years, if not more.

[@emmathe82nd]

I'm sorry that you have unaccepting parents. Try to save up money so that you'll be able to move out right when you turn 18 and so that you'll have extra money for a rainy day too. I promise you that it does get better. Even if somedays it feels like it never will, it will. Good luck. Remember that I and so many other people love you and accept you and support you. You are valid and you are amazing. Never change for anyone and stay strong. Sending lots of love your way

[@haveagoodmourning]

Hey just dropping by to let u know ur valid

[@maddghost9650]

Hi! I too have unaccepting parents. I'm aroace and non-binary. The worst thing is, they would come to terms if I was lesbian or trans because its something they have ready heard about. So my advice is this: plan a back up if things go sour, have friends at whose place you can stay, save money, build a net, do a lot of research about things you need. And second. Try slowly educating your family even though it's scary af. I, for example, had a conversation with them and their friends about how not all people with uteri are female because one of the friends daughter works as a birth assistant and they had a man deliver a baby. It's small steps but if you find a way to bring this theme up often enough it will become less scary to them. It's kind of Pavlovianing them. But yeah. Stay strong!!! We love you 💜

[@pilaracevedo2078]

Hey, I hope you know you're loved. I'm in the closet for a similar reason (homophobic parents) and it does get better even here in Narnia. We as a community can be your family and support you. Because we're so proud of who you are. You don't need to change anything to already be perfect

[@nothingweirdherehaha4770]

@@maddghost9650 Hi, fellow aroace here, you’re valid

[@GaysianAmerican]

Why do i see you as a very experienced lgbt elder when you're only a year older than me?

[@cheems408]

Your profile picture is IT 🤌🏻

[@MargoMB19]

Okay this made me laugh because I see him the same way and I'm a good bit older!

[@sharonoddlyenough]

Trans-time.

[@lunaplaysgames9824]

Unrelated but cool pfp

[@Maximoo1901]

How somebody already disliked this I don’t understand peopleeee Edit: I meant this for like right when it was posted and no one had even watched but yet the disliked it, sorry for the confusion.

[@deirdreleamy4678]

Lol

[@Kai-iy3kk]

Bots.

[@bunniesbunniesbunnie]

I thumbsed down for therapy pushing.

[@advantgardeboy2007]

Maybe BetterHelp because a lot of people had bad Experiences with it?

[@bunniesbunniesbunnie]

@@advantgardeboy2007 or just don't push therapy at all, especially with a link with your name on it, you know?

[@broski9938]

I'm not a jealous person but holy crap the whole "I don't have dysphoria much anymore" is making my stomach squeeze itself into non existence with how much I physically need that. Damnit.

[@user-eb6xz6vu6k]

It takes so much vulnerability and strength to be so open online about your experience transitioning! Thank you for sharing this with us 💗💗💗

[@Erzs_Cat]

My deadname is Katherine and it made me feel so dysphoric... until one of my favorites streamers started playing "Catherine" and I became immune after hearing him scream it every 5 seconds hahaha

[@emeraldchan7770]

Thanks for sharing! Ps: your hair swirl/swoosh is super intriguing rn. I can’t stop looking at it

[@jkim-08]

the hair swoosh is really intriguing

[@cataorshane]

I'm cis. Bisexual. I can't relate to most of your content but I enjoy it a lot because I can understand why it must be super helpful to others. You are awesome :)

[@oddbloochicken]

Hello fellow cis bi fella, good to see some bi friends

[@cataorshane]

@@oddbloochicken indeed it is :D

[@Tendo641]

i'm not cis but i'm not medically transitioning, but i watch these because i find it so fascinating to learn about

[@cataorshane]

@@Tendo641 Power to you :)

[@cannicole]

Eyyyy twinsss :D

[@avirtualcanvas7584]

I only discovered your channel recently,but so glad I did. I love how honest and candid you are about your own experience of being Trans and dealing with Dysphoria. Your transition sounded a lot easier and more supported. I like to how you expalain things in ways that are really easy to undrstand and relate too. You have a natural compassion and empathy bourne out of your experience and what it has taught you. I'm FTM like you, but I'm 52 years old (soon to be 53!) and I transitioned in a very different way and time to you. I began transitioning at the age of ten having been abondoned and left to live rough,also there weere no computers at this time no internet,social media or mobile phones or no designated gender clinics I could go to,even the term Gender Dysphoria wasn't around then I didn't know about it or what it meant or was,I didn't know about biding or packers,but I used to use a really wide belt and bandages to bind but never occured to me to pack and I wore baggy clothes. But then I discoverd punk during my transition and that gave me away to change my appearence as the punk look was very androgynous and at the time it was what I needed and helped me feel better about how I looked, but I knew beyond all doubt I was in the wrong body and took the action I know I needed to.But I got lucky I met a trans woman, and she tok me under her wing really helped me and I found a doctor and a couscellor who were both willing to help and support me. I was able to get hormone blockers and then "T",but I really wanted my reassaignment surgery was chomping at the bit to have it done,but knew I was too young to have it here in the UK,and I wanted to have top and botton surgery at the same time or as close together as I could and again in the UK I knew this wasn't possible. I went to Germany,and I got lucky with a brilliant surgeon, who really cared about giving me the best help he could.I had both my surgeries within two weeks,and the further more extensive surgery to change my body shape. My surgeon before becoming a gender reassignment surgeon had been a very successful cosmetic and plastic surgeon and also a reconstrutive surgeon,so I knew I was in the hands of someone who could really help me become the boy/man I knew I was meant to be.I had surgery on my ribcage to change my torso shape and also on my pelvis to change it and on my face/jaw all to give me the more masuline apperenace I wanted. I have no visible scarring on my chest thanks to a new treatment/my surgeon tried out on me as for my lower surgery, I also had a very different kind of lower sugery which at the time was rare.I was in Germany for just over a year. This was a good thing because it meant in that time people forgot the girl I used to be,they really did and I came back to the UK as the man I am now and was always meant to be. I never heard my 'dead name/birth name' after I came home and none of my friends from that time ever used it and still don't.I have never tried to 'pass',but that's because at the time of my transition's beginning I nver heard that term or knew what it meant (I do now),so I never knowingly tried to pass, I just was the man I was meant to be, I came back to the uk and no-one questioned my apperance at all,people simply saw a man and accepted the man they saw.I also realise as well as being trans very early that I was also gay,but again this was something I knew beyond any doubt. If I were to transition now my journey would be very differnt. There is social media etc now and more support and help out there for Trans men and women.I am glad I was able to have my teenage years as a young man which Is what I wanted,and I'm so thankfull I was able to transition so early it made a huge difference to me mentally and emotionally.The thing that really hit home that I was the man I was meant to be, was having a shave for the first time,I know that sounds strange,but it was a big deal for me and cemented me to myself,there were other things of course, but years later as old as I am now that's the signpost that still stays with me that I had fully transitioned. Your videos are so enlightening and I have learnt a lot from listening to you,stuff I wish I'd know back then. You are realy inspiring and I'm really happy that I discovered your channel here on youtube. Stay string and keep being the mamazing man you are.Thank you for all you do through your channel. P.s I hope Shaaba is doing okay after her recent loss.

[@googelybear]

Better help? Wasn't that some kind of shady business? I remember there being quite the controversy about it maybe a year or two years back when a lot of LGBT creators were being sponsored by them.

[@arowace498]

There's another comment about it somewhere, I think it was that they weren't doing background checks on their therapists and some terrible people were working for them as a result. They say they've changed but... Who knows.

[@siginotmylastname3969]

The therapists working for betterhelp give a better insight into why this is a tech company profiting off of underpaid professionals and unethical practices. This therapist got actively suicidal clients, people relapsing on drug addictions and in domestic abuse situations and yet didn't have a real phone number to check up on them with! That's both unsafe , unethical and just horrible to deal with as an employee.

[@deathby1000cats]

Your explanation makes perfect sense. You only really have the capacity for so much pain, so much anger, so much happiness, so much dysphoria... narrowing your focus probably makes everything feel so much more intense. Thank you for sharing your journey!!! 💕

[@cat_l0ver508]

Hey you! Yea you! You're valid as heck, don't let mean words get to you!

[@dreamknight1776]

[@pn.2068]

Thanks dude. You're heccin' valid too.

[@jay8569]

Thank you, I really needed to hear that right now. You're awesome and really valid!

[@megp9id]

Thanks pal, you too :)

[@einindividuum5428]

Thank you so much, I needed that today!

[@rebekahweaver5032]

I really like that “reverse buttering toast” analogy, it really frames dysphoria in an easy way for Cis people to grasp easier without diminishing the pain that dysphoria causes

[@haveagoodmourning]

This comment thread is a safe space for anyone who wants/needs to open up. I love you, you're valid, please stay alive

[@kitsutilo]

Hey Jammi! Thank you for making this video. As someone who just started their journey it really helps to see that things will change for the better, even if it is a long journey. For me It just helped me to hear that things will slowly, but sureley get better. And I think it helped a lot of others as well.

[@not_that_anna]

Oh Jammie was such a cute boy, now hes such an handsome men his girlfriend is so lucky

[@Beth-td6vj]

His girlfriend is just as beautiful, and they were best friends before he transitioned

[@goddyssincognito1565]

They are such a lovely couple, aren’t they?

[@ItsChurchieYall]

Oh my god I just realized that you were the one that I watched a video from 5 ish years ago, you inspired me to finally come out to my parents and go on T. I had been thinking about it for a few years but I was scared of what my family would think. Its funny how I found your content again and am a huge fan, but wow thank you ♡ I have been a million times happier ever since I came out

[@minitumen]

Woah, that's wild. Congrats

[@paris96champo]

Seeing young Jammi is sooo weird, it's been a long time I haven't watch his old videos soo 😂

[@17kiranime]

As someone who isn’t familiar with the process of transition surgery, wasn’t entirely sure I understood what dysphoria was until recent years, & has a surprising number of friends that are trans, I find your analogy of spreading butter on a piece of toast extremely helpful! I often talk like a writer & want to describe things to make something more relatable to whomever I’m talking to, so this mental picture helped me to grasp at the idea & I feel helps me better understand you & my other trans friends. Thank you for making my path towards that “a-ha” moment- that clarity in understanding- so much easier to obtain. I really appreciated this ☺️

[@jjongcafes4943]

seeing you and hearing you talk about how it gets better is so comforting. I am in therapy right now, hoping I can start testosteron soon and hopefully top surgery soon because currently my dysphoria is horrible, especially about my (sadly big) chest... it'll still take a few months so I am frustrated and feeling horrible, but this is a light that gives me hope :')

[@barrylangille3523]

From someone you don't know at all: I want to wish you all the best and I hope everything goes well for you. Good luck!

[@artemisdarkslayer]

Jamie(spelling?): Complains about his hair being a mess Me balding: I would kill for that hair...

[@luvsx5703]

I came out to my mum as transgender (ftm) and i kind of regret it because i have a feeling a might be non-binary? I'm definitely not a girl because when someone calls me a girl or uses she/her pronouns i just wanna cry I'm so confused right now 😔

[@moved.6963]

You can get through it! Explore your gender, figure out what makes you comfortable, and then you can make your decision on when, how, if, or why you wanna come out.

[@luvsx5703]

Thank you so muchh 🙏🏻

[@luvsx5703]

🥰

[@emmathe82nd]

You'll figure it out. You can try out different pronouns and see which ones you like the most. Good luck

[@stephvianel]

It's perfectly okay to not be sure about your gender identity. I'm AFAB and went through the same sort of questioning myself, but never came out bc my parents would never accept me. I am now comfortable with non-binary, as I feel it suits me better. I hope your mom is accepting and understanding with your process. But don't ever feel bad for getting to know yourself and having questions

[@caitlinrudolphlavalier2737]

I love the butter on toast analogy! It also made me think of cleaning up glitter. Like, at first it was all over, but being on T was like sweeping it off of most places and it ended up piling up on your chest. Then too surgery got rid of that pile. Then slowly but surely you swept the majority of what was left into another pile (on the bottom). And bottom surgery got rid of that pile. Now you periodically find a piece of glitter, it's not overwhelming (like having piles of glitter all over) but it happens. The glitter may never be totally cleaned up, but you'll come across a piece here and there.

[@Annaonesun]

My friend came out as trans a couple of years ago and seeing her journey so far has been beautiful. I love how every time I see her, something about her looks has changed and something about how she acts has become slightly more... herself. Before she came out we weren’t all that close, just in the same group of friends. I couldn't tell why I wasn't close to her even thought I enjoyed her company, there was just something about how she acted that made me feel like she closed herself off. After coming out her personality has opened up so much and I love seeing her blossom, both emotionally and physically. I know she experiences a lot of dysphoria, but I hope that one day she will get to a place where it's something that doesn’t interfere with her day to day life anymore. She is such a beautiful person and I hope that day will come soon.

[@agentoregon7212]

i started watching your videos right around the time you went through your surgery. and obviously been following your story for as long as you've been viral. i love to see you where you are now 🥰

[@beaniequeer4288]

Thank you this helps so much as I am not currently out to my parents but all I can think about is testosterone, puberty blockers and top surgery and the only people I have told are my friends who I'm glad are really supportive.

[@mallorytaylor6203]

I’m incredibly happy for you!! I can’t imagine the Hell that you or others in similar positions have faced/are facing. However, you and the rest of the community have my support and respect 100%! You’re all beautiful; mind, body and soul ❤️

[@thaliapaiz5548]

Thank you for putting yourself out here and doing this. I sincerely believe that this will help lots of people figure out what their plan is, and that makes it just a bit easier coming out. Love your videos!

[@jessilashmore2203]

You have honestly helped me so much learning and coming out as trans, no one I know is trans and when I found your channel it changed my life, especially seeing where you started to where you are now! I love your videos like this, so thank you for being open and recording this stuff, it truly truly helps

[@tmnprlsaicntr]

Jammi, you're definitely a gem...your words give me a lot of strength...

[@mustachedmalarkey8838]

I had top surgery 2 years ago and received one of your "dinosaurs are cool" t-shirts for Christmas. I tell ya it's so soft and comfy but its even better because I can feel it on my chest, my whole chest. And that makes it really special.

[@demonicastar]

Modern medicine is amazing, I look at him and would never have imagined he was ever anything other than a man, and a very handsome young fellow at that.

[@Levi_is_Smol]

I'm now at the stage of my transition where all my dysphoria is about my chest since I'm already on t for nearly a year (gonna be a year February 11th), but due to covid, my surgeon has cancelled every appointment and I won't get this surgery in the foreseeable future, which sucks a lot. I'm concentrating on gaining muscles a bit to at least keep myself busy and see some changes, if not a big one through surgery, but being in a lockdown and unable to really work out doesn't make things easier. What I want tosay is: Seeing you, Jammi, being now at this stage where you're truly happy with your body and as a man makes it a bit easier for me to wait. Because I know it'll be worth it. I know, one day, I'm gonna be on the same page as you in my transition, and even when our stories are very different, I'm gonna get there as well. Thank you for giving me hope, Jammi.

[@rae_183]

*I just came here to say I'm pansexual and non binary.* *its kinda gay for me to like you or for you to like me no matter what.* *I'm one of the gayest people I know.* ✨🌈✨

[@ryleighd7147]

That's awesome! I'm happy you found you're sexuality and gender identity! You are super valid and loved❤️

[@dreamknight1776]

G A Y

[@Kai-iy3kk]

Oh hey same! I just got my hair cut and I feel so much more confident

[@dreamknight1776]

@BlueSheep inc you are excellent

[@dreamknight1776]

@BlueSheep inc

[@bow_and_artemis2534]

hey Jamie! I'm getting my own bottom surgery in a couple months and I'm going through the period of time that i'm super nervous about it and unsure with whether it will help with my dysphoria or not and this video really helped my mood and excitement towards surgery. I really appreciate you sharing this with us and helping out those of us that are planning on having surgery in the future. Thanks a ton, much love, I'm glad you're happy

[@TheWafflesWorld]

Hi Jamie! I’ve been watching your videos for years. I wanna thank you for how much you’ve educated me by sharing your experiences & I love how seeing how far you’ve come & how happy you are. Much love

[@lastwesker6384]

You're so brave mate, putting your journey and feelings out here with your face and body. I could never, not with my fears and anxieties. I will say this though: 7-ish years ago I got top surgery after saving for years to pay for it. When I woke up the first time, which was rather brief, I had a good, joyful cry when I saw my chest. Like Jammi, it helped my dysphoria greatly and helped me feel more comfortable in my skin. Afterward, my only regret ? That when I woke up the second time to me mam an friends, I didn't say ‘ Glad I finally got that off my chest. ’ 😔

[@shinydiamonds4565]

I am so glad you posted today...I really needed some form of break, my bfs mom found out we were dating and she’s very VERY unsupportive of the lgbt community and he also asked me to not just go up to him and hug him because he might flinch and doesn’t want to make the first time I’ve seen him in 7 months weird or awkward and that was a MAJOR red flag that something is going on...

[@emmathe82nd]

I'm so sorry, I hope things get better. For you and for your bf

[@orion.6]

Is it possible he’s had some trauma in his life where he could be touch repulsed? I’m touch repulsed and I do the same thing tbh

[@shinydiamonds4565]

@@orion.6 he was never like this though and his mom has become not to good towards him during quarantine because of what she’s found out by snooping through things of his

[@orion.6]

@@shinydiamonds4565 I would recommend asking him directly why he had that reaction and try to get the truth out

[@shinydiamonds4565]

@@orion.6 I tried and he just told me that I don’t need to worry about it and I tried to push him a little but I didn’t want to push him to far

[@goddyssincognito1565]

So happy for you! So sorry you had to feel dysphoria so much through your teen years. Hard enough to be a teen, add in gender dysphoria and you have to be a strong person to weather the storm until your body matches your true self. This no nonsense video is very helpful for everyone- regardless of gender identity or orientation, or if one is nb. Thank you for putting out such a wonderful, matter of fact explanation. Sending love to handsome you and lovely Shaaba! 💕

[@TalentedTiger]

I didn't miss Pride Parade of 2020, I even hatched an Obstagoon during the walk! :D and due to disability I rarely walk, and can't really anyway, so the whole thing and the Pokemon himself mean SO much to me! 🥰 Just lovely!

[@arobbo28]

i love the toast/butter analogy of dysphoria. thank you for sharing the link to pride counseling

[@lauram3267]

Thank you for these types of videos! They are perfect for people going through these types of things ❤

[@HollyOak]

Jamie, thank you so much for your channel and videos like this one. I'm a cis woman and will never understand trans issues personally, but your willingness to be open, honest and vulnerable about your experiences helps me to have a head understanding of what it must be like being trans. Just want you to know, you are appreciated so much (and Shaaba).

[@dionemartins0212]

I'm glad you decided to share, because I'm a trans male too and I'm scared of starting my transitioning

[@mv8395]

Thank you for sharing! A good friend of mine has struggled a long time with body dysmorphia and has just recently started T! I'm excited for them to hopefully soonish have the contentment you feel now 💖

[@lailaauto33]

The worst part about being an AFAB demigirl for me is that there are days I hate my chest and want to remove it because it gives me dysphoria and there are days I like it the way it is So idk

[@christinasutton5805]

Dude same I read a post a few years back about wishing tits were removable so you can pop them on and off whenever and I never wanted anything more

[@Brandyalla]

Cis females feel the same way....it's floppy and uncomfortable, it gets in the way, and it's the thing men focus on when they want to be creepy. But also sometimes it's "Ooh, boobies!" I'm not trying to belittle your struggles; I'm saying, you're not alone

[@TumbleBell]

And thats the magic of BINDERS >:)

[@peytonknock-swanson5672]

Omg that's how I feel, like on a daily basis. It's changed ALOT. 😩😤 I've been wondering if I could be a demiboy/demigirl.😳🤯

[@grimothy1184]

@@Brandyalla i see your point, but i think there's a difference between being annoyed by something and actual dysphoria about it

[@izzygalax]

hey viewer (or Jamie if you ever see this)! 17 y/o trans girl here, why are you reading this I've been out (at least to friends) for about two years, and I've had a (straight) boyfriend for a year and a few months (April 29th I believe?). I haven't started HRT or "the surgeries", but I'm so so excited to. Honestly no idea why im writing this, i guess i just wanna say hi to yall. Also everything Jamie said (is that how you spell his name?) is 100% true, factual, relatable, etc etc

[@tyghoulie]

I feel like a hug from Jamie would solve all of my problems

[@ABCD-rm5vo]

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us. I'm currently 1 year 3 months on T and a lot of my dysphoria has shifted to focus on my chest much like yours did. It's really severe and almost unbearable, so much so that binding doesn't really help anymore. However, if everything goes well, I should have top surgery in about 2 months. Seeing and hearing how happy you were in the months/years after top surgery really gives me a lot of hope for the future.

[@soupynuggets2622]

I'm so glad you made this video. Your videos always help so much :)

[@rdsimonse2001]

It's been over 2 years wanting nb chest surgery, and about half a year actually being in the process for it. It's so hard. These stories, even though they increase my dysforia, help me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you.💙

[@MuichiroTokitoIrl]

Nobody: Not a single sould: Dysphoria: *Bonjour~*

[@kamaririvera676]

Lmao I read should for some reason and it made me think of my shoulders. Dysphoria's amazing.

[@rainydays3.5]

@@kamaririvera676 lmao

[@aspwillow]

Delete the whole "so many likes!" part, it takes away from the comment even though I liked anyway.

[@MuichiroTokitoIrl]

@@aspwillow Sure not a problem

[@aspwillow]

@@MuichiroTokitoIrl That makes the comment funnier :D

[@kacywatson6314]

so you are saying transitioning works. thank you so much. am not getting told "I'll get the surgery and it will be fabulous and amazing"... no, you are telling me transitioning and surgery will reduce my dysphoria. thank you for boosting my confidence in my journey into womanhood. seeing your clips recovering from surgery, telling your experiences with it put my mind as ease. thanks :)

[@nerdynobody574]

my parents are stuck on "you'll regret it later" and stuff because they read about the 14% of people who detransition

[@undeadorion]

"The hair took a lot of time and now it won't stop." The lesson I am now learning myself.

[@sonjag.3563]

Jammie, I just love you

[@woofexe4050]

Hey dude! Just want to let you know your advice has really helped me! 💙

[@Justineylovesya]

Thank you so much for making this video! Having first hand accounts helps so much with my own decision making process regarding bottom surgery.

[@foreverGM.006]

I'm cis, but I'm commenting here so this video gets recommended cause this is what people need

[@sleeppyy3221]

I appreciate people like you

[@foreverGM.006]

@@sleeppyy3221 its the most I can do as a 14 year old

[@actualsunflower2858]

Sorry if this is a weird comment but seeing your top surgery progress pics made me a bit teary eyed, this was super helpful for me personally. I'm 9 months on t today and this makes me super hopeful for my own surgery, so thank you so much :3c

[@steampunkwilson7435]

Oof I feel the long hair thing, quarantine is terrible

[@eliasbischoff176]

I feel you, but tbh, I personally really like my longer hair

[@moved.6963]

My hair is so thick that it is very hot when it gets too long. I feel that too.

[@steampunkwilson7435]

@@eliasbischoff176 that's great for you, I just find long hair a bit of a pain, especially when it gets in my eyes and stuff

[@eliasbischoff176]

@@steampunkwilson7435 Sorry, if making this about me was weird. I hope you can get a haircut that you prefer soon. Much love

[@steampunkwilson7435]

@@eliasbischoff176 nah I don't mind but thanks anyway

[@emdeo]

This matches a lot of how I went through my transition, with regards to the dysphoria shifting to different areas? So that part sure made sense to me. I do think its funny how I started transitioning at 25, and because getting treatment was hell, I did a lot of accepting before ever getting meds. Which is to say, I'd like to add that the people around me accepting me socially helped my dysphoria, and that was cool, but surgery helped a whole darn bunch too. Good video, thanks for sharing your story.

[@lauraschuster2502]

I know it's not relevant for this video but your Hufflepuff energy is so wholesome and it's always so soothing

[@samsoniusskylla2394]

I...am so glad you made this video. I´m struggling with few things related to this topic too. I´m really confused and chaotic. I don´t know what to do about it. This helped me because now I know, that everyone experiences it differently. Thank you, Jamie

[@cIam-9]

16 views, 53 likes and 14 hidden comments KZbin STOP TRIPPING

[@AnderGoitizaola]

I always find your videos heartwarming. Having you speaking so candidly about such an intimate and delicate matter really helps us cis people to understand so much more about the struggles of being trans in our world. I hope you’re doing great, as you deserve.

[@clairebenevento409]

baby Jamie talking about starting T was the most adorable thing

[@sarahhussain5144]

Umm will you give me a information?? Please

[@pffffggg]

Thank you. There's a person I care about A LOT that is going trough this and in a couple of weeks will get his chest surgery. I really wanted to understand a bit more and this video helped me a lot. Big hug and much love to you. Bye =)

[@plumbinggamer]

I wonder how much t costs in America as we don’t have a very good affordable medical system.

[@adriannadane8953]

from what i’ve seen it can cost anywhere from about 20 bucks to 70. i think it just depends

[@plumbinggamer]

I’m guessing that would be per shot?

[@adriannadane8953]

yeah i think it’s per shot. most people take one every 2 or 4 weeks, so it’ll be pretty expensive after time.

[@ghostbones5927]

Depends on the state, your insurance, where you get it, ect.

[@rayejohnston2821]

Mine costs about 30 bucks a month, and inject it once a week, but it is also on my insurance and I'm at a fairly low dose, so I don't know how much it would be for others

[@nick08841]

I'm so glad I found Jamie 2 years ago, he helped me figured out what I was feeling, and made me confident enough to come out and see a doctor about it, and now in 3 months on T and i can 100% say i wouldn't have survived this long if i hadn't found this channel and I had finally figured out who I was. Thank you Jamie, and to anyone else who thinks T is impossible or to far away, it will happen, you will be comfortable in your skin, and I love you

[@daintylamb_]

Yayyy trans advice! I love sending all of these to my big bro, as he's starting his transition soon

[@snottyspoon476]

Currently laying in the hospital after step 1 of bottom surgery and watching your videos 👍

[@bakeuu]

all the best omg

[@snottyspoon476]

@@bakeuu Thank you, Voldemort! Feeling better already

[@rowan2634]

I love your videos Jamie!

[@moosboeke2160]

Wow this is so hopeful! I've head quite a few people talk about how their dysphoria DIDN'T go away, so it's good to hear it does for some.