George Carlin - The Telephone - 1976.

Classic George Carlin

[@bessamsam]

that second in the beginning when he accidentally says "television" is the first time i've ever seen him misspeak

[@mcp6885]

He quite often stutters over his words but never seems to drop the ball

[@DeceptseaN]

The only other time was during his later stand up when he messes up he says "sorry..." and corrects himself...

[@_Common_Logic_]

@@DeceptseaN - In his *Fat People* bit he stumbled over Joe sixpack's "Beer belly" and Belt buckle" ... Even geniuses are human. ;-)

[@8cladgamer210]

Same

[@strangescience3414]

He did it on purpose🙄

[@TheJoemm]

A very innocent George Carlin performance.

[@CounterNerd]

I love innocent Carlin. The stuff he did when he was older really is the grounds on which today's comedians stand, but they've made those grounds so worn out. I like a break from all the controversies and whiny conspiracy theories. Carlin's earlier stuff is a breath of fresh air in today's environment.

[@Nuisance_Bear]

CounterNerd dang, it IS dated, though. No, I’ve never in my life forgotten who I was calling during the ringing.

[@TheMurlocTamer]

Jonathan Unger Because you phone shows the name of the person you're calling right before you hit call?

[@davidmolina5023]

Yeah, he had to have some routines for television that would pass the censors.

[@ADEehrh]

TheJoemm He was still fairly young and wasn't angry yet .

[@vovindequasahi]

Facebook = The extreme version of "Everybody's there!"

[@man_on_wheelz]

+Richard Bexborn OMG yes!

[@timgrinxx7068]

Richard Bexborn truth Asf

[@chriskuhl2406]

Makes me wonder what the next social media website will be in the future that could possibly replaced Facebook. Or we'll possibly all be hooked up to VR or augmented reality headsets. Now everybody's there and not there at the same time, including their digital avatars. Then the God particle will develop with a unified field and we'll be in an alternate dimension to be able to reduce ourselves into gas molecules that dissolve into the upper stratosphere, separating in space into ionized electric charges of plasma moved by a magnetic field to form wavelengths of light energy as photons, x rays, and gamma rays cooled, slowed down, and condensed back into liquefied covalent organic molecules into our solidified selves, just to be reprogrammed again by the avatars of our own imagining. We will welcome these genomic digital cosmic overlords and worship them as divine beings with the belief in reincarnation by the wonders of regenerative medicine and modular genetic switches of cellular transcription into any organism phenotype we want to have with the help of recombinants and transposons.

[@thomask2133]

400th like 5 years later when fb is irrelevant

[@a-lie-n]

@@thomask2133 nice to know things revolve around you and your opinion

[@trugangsta4real]

Unlike a lot of other comedians, Carlin kept getting better and better. His routines became so polished as he progressed.

[@marioiacolucci]

Funny stuff

[@OpEditorial]

These days the "telephone" is a seldom used app... on your telephone

[@kinggrooms7473]

Fucking funny as shit

[@owenhunt]

@@kinggrooms7473 So why aren't you laughing, Doc? Whatsapp me the answer. I'm busy tapping DAT ASS on lvl 1565 on Toy Blast.

[@kinggrooms7473]

What...

[@michellecottrell3553]

Lol so true

[@WASTEOIDx]

he was born an old man I swear

[@collinjensen6671]

chris gomez Correction he was born an “old fuck”

[@rolandfitzgerald1475]

Collin Jensen no your a loser fuck. He was a genius one of the greatest comedians ever......

[@StarlightTigger]

"But now that I'm an old fuck, and that's what I consider myself to be, an old fuck. Old fuck is a very special term. It's not like old man. Old man is different. Old man isn't really a time in your life or a period of years. It's an attitude. Old man is a point of view. It's a way of looking at things. Some guys are old men when they're in their 20's." -George Carlin, 2008

[@xaenon]

+roland fitagerald Carlin often described himself as 'an old fuck'.

[@collinjensen6671]

roland fitzgerald yeah he was a genius, he was a genius old fuck

[@DougCameraMan]

His facial expressions and voices were what helped make him one of the best comedians back then.

[@lordkevork]

DougCameraman back then people talked to each other in person and had real emotions.. imagine that.

[@michaelhunziker7287]

His command of the English language is why Carlin is Top 5 All Time.

[@williamg.2463]

So true! I agree because that's half the reason why I'm laughing during his stand-ups

[@lordkevork]

eli mature lol way off. So far off that joke died of cancer before I read it. Peace. snowflake 😷😷😷😷😷😷

[@lordkevork]

eli mature your a real sleuth on the trail. Lol. Actually I wasn’t calling u a snowflake. Just telling you It’s snowing and cold here. Since u think I’m a boomer. Sorry you feel u r boned though. Try hashtag me too that should help. But let’s keep this going please.

[@rishavkumar1334]

I can't believe it's more than 40 years old.. George Carlin was an icon.

[@jessicalee333]

"Officer, we have a complete moron over here." is my favorite line.

[@felixmadison5736]

George Carlin was a great observer of the American way of life. He had us down pat!!! What we took for granted he took to the bank.

[@cybercat29]

I agree with you 100%.

[@Mr.56Goldtop]

And told us about it!

[@trillfa9774]

Oscar Robinson if he were alive today and of sound body and mind he’d have lots of fun with the current state of our affairs no doubt about it!

[@RubHerSoul1]

He earned that bank!

[@chocomanger6873]

Comedian level = Canadian

[@Priyo866]

Even with 70s TV rules against swearing, he was an absolute comedic gem. English isn't even my first or second language, but this man never fails to make me laugh. Rest in peace George.

[@arthurward7073]

George was the only person that could make mankind laugh at itself.

[@donwilson8299]

It's amazing how funny he has been his entire life. I had no idea he started so young (Long before this)

[@signifidelica2819]

"Margaret, water cooler" "PHONES GOING OFF" "How you gonna connect them? ... WIARE"

[@DocLantern85]

I laughed my ass off when he said, "Quick! Get it before it peaks!!"

[@wesleyalan9179]

@@DocLantern85 ..haha! Yeah!

[@filipkaravas603]

Its way funnier when written holy sh*t😂

[@marioiacolucci]

Connect the dots

[@cbro777]

LOL he was hands-down the most brilliant comic who ever lived. The places his mind goes it's just astounding. Observational humor at its best.

[@omairsh8]

Seriously, and the sheer content he had was insane. Don't know how we wrote & memorised so much material. Genius

[@stevencoil402]

Memorized dumbass

[@smh9902]

Holy crap, could you imagine what he would do today regarding the phone?

[@aflybzzz]

Joe Schmoe The phone is bullshit! It tells you everything by ringing! *ring* it's my dad! *ring* it's my facebook! *ring* It's that guy who's been stalking me for 4 years!

[@smh9902]

Negativepicksal "The Most I Have!" LOLOLOL you fucking nailed it. Plus one.

[@davefs25]

Joe Schmoe "im gonna connect them with spaceships and underwater cables!!!!"

[@rellicbeats]

+Joe Schmoe good lord he'd roast so much of today lmao

[@TymphaRedbreaduwuowo]

+Joe Schmoe george carlin: these fuckin teens these days.....with their phones, they dont even use the phone part, and worse, the girls......they are on twitter 24/7.........when they are sucking off their boyfriend, do they also tweekt ungh ungh ungh ungh like the sound of a cock goin into her mouth? put the fucking thing, what ever it is, smart phone, why is it so smart, huh? because it wants to consume your idtentity, yeah, thats rihgt, they really do, it wants to know yourexact location so when you dont pay your phone bill they know where to shove the reminder.

[@jamespavitt3814]

He makes it look easy, but this kind of stuff is very, very hard to pull off well. As well as being funny, he has great comedic technique.

[@ImNotLuthien]

I think is his oratory. And the rythm he says things with. Besides he makes fun of nonsensical daily things.

[@nordfreiheit]

I love how his earlier comedy was more just satirizing different aspects of regular life and making fun of the absurdity. The older he got, the more his absurdism turned to nihilism, the fewer jokes he was making, the more he was just making statements of fact.

[@Hirnlego999]

If you read his last book he says that he was often attacked for making fun of small things, that he brought nothing new to the table. This made him move closer to big ideas, more timeless things... he also found it funny to bring up ideas which people do not want to think about, this is why he talked quite a bit about uncomfortable topics.. you might not laugh the first time you see it as much as regular comedy, but many keep coming back to it, and that's why Carlin is part of pretty much any list of influential comedians.

[@Medytacjusz]

@@Hirnlego999 there's nothing more timeless than the absurdity of regular life

[@leahsahaas5855]

I like the "Hippie,dippy weatherman!

[@SPNKr16]

@@Medytacjusz Yep. The older Carlin became, the less comedy and funny he was doing. It went to the point of nearly no comedy. How is that for "comedian"? And how come nobody drew the line in what was a true comedian's job? To keep you laughing and happy while they're up on the stage. Talking "truths" is not funny. If it is, it's to brush off the fear one perceives from such truth. Doesn't make it "comedy" or "humour" though. Agreed, absurdity of regular life and unnoticed observations are timeless and define stand-up comedy (especially when all-ages audiences are considered). The next defining topic is vague sexual references, like what came out of Vaudeville and actors like Laurel & Hardy. Not directly talking about people fucking but being risky and enough to get a child in trouble for spinning such a thing on the turntable. Times have changed so much and we forget what real comedy is.

[@sobreaver]

@@SPNKr16 I think the older he was getting, the more he wanted to make his work 'relevant' in the sens that he cared less and less about pleasing the crowd (his career established somehow, he was less fighting to be on the stage and more fighting for what we were left with once he's off the stage) and more and more about making the audience think, not just dozing them off with some laugh. Despite his imperfectness, I think he was trying to make the world a better place in his own way and what I remember Goerge for is this, when fooled, would you know if you have been folled ?

[@btmacie]

"We gon' balance dem on poles!"

[@richardgates7479]

Well, they already had telegraph poles at the time.

[@Noneofyourfuckingbusiness12]

This is completely fake considering they didnt even have phones back then

[@Dan-ob7it]

@@Noneofyourfuckingbusiness12 Troll fail!

[@Jpw824]

I’m gonna* not we

[@theomegaconcern9564]

The sheer body of work Carlin produced is mind boggling

[@TrainTrackTrav]

Funny thing is that 50 years later, we now tell people their phone is going off.

[@frostychickenprods]

I love that he makes Bell sound like a dangerous insane hick.

[@seikibrian8641]

@Jim Sirette What do you mean by "she"? Alexander Graham Bell was a "he."

[@lifewuzonceezr]

Lol Ma Bell ..

[@seikibrian8641]

@@lifewuzonceezr But George Carlin wasn't doing an impression of Ma Bell (a company), he was doing an impression of Alexander Graham Bell (a man).

[@matthewfinlay5583]

Glad he wasnt Alexander Graham Siren

[@CptChandler]

In essence, you love tearing down the people who made it possible for you to transcribe your thoughts into words and send them out for everyone else to agree with. Neato.

[@Hrimthur666]

That face... XD Back then he sometimes looked like Charles Manson XD I love him! I miss him!

[@andywolan]

Now telemarketers call constantly to ensure that “everyone is there”.

[@PurnimaThakerDhorajiwalapRTd]

'Time for George' in his little suitcase as well as in reality...are so precious. Every body should be aware of his contribution to in bringing awareness about what we are not aware about... Thank you.

[@omairsh8]

1:44 ALWAYS gets me, his inflection & facial expressions are GOLD

[@KaritKtana]

Wow, his face is so elastic!! The voices, the expressions, I didn't expect this 😂👏

[@ivyvines6708]

I know that this is some of his older stuff, but It is seems like it is even more relevant today for sure. I believe that I spend more time on hold today than back in those days. And for everybody reading this, your all there.

[@jabaridd]

yes i'm here, you still there?

[@terrancevanliew1814]

jabaridd Everybody's there

[@patr7240]

I'm still here

[@ModelTrainOutsider]

Older stuff??? He started in the late 50s. This is mid 70s.

[@allemander]

My what?

[@donaldhill1758]

It has been an amazing journey witnessing the evolution of G. Carlin.

[@SRB57]

This is gold. R.I.P. Carlin. I bet he's down there now, screaming up at us .

[@terralee9339]

George is in heaven, hes keeping them all laughing.

[@jonessoda4me1]

SMB 91 he’s probably screaming stop gathering SO MUCH STUFF!!!!!!!!!

[@lilbaby_1]

Real ones understand

[@YOUNGSLIME999]

It u understood this u will know this comment isn’t a diss

[@davidwolfhudson]

@@terralee9339 It's a reference to a joke he made in his final special, "It's Bad For Ya."

[@frostychickenprods]

i almost never laugh out loud when watching a video sitting here alone but omg carlin gets me every time. that alexander graham bell impression..carlin looks like manson here lol

[@droptopsixfo]

Man, I miss those funny little circumstances like calling someone and forgetting who I just dialed. Such things don't exist anymore, and it's rather sad

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

Almost 50 years later and George Carlin's commentary is still relevant and he's still making people laugh! Thank you George.

[@KRAFTWERK2K6]

It's always time for George! Today more than ever!!

[@daveallender4375]

Was lucky to see him 3 times. Great comedic mind. Gallagher was also right up there with him. Their observations were spot on.

[@dianaficarrotta2460]

George is in heaven making the angels laugh. Miss him! 😂

[@brianmilligan1787]

Yea he is saying there's a man who lives in the sky did you hear that one It's a wonderful life Every time a bell rings There's a fire in he'll Every time an angel gets their wings They fan the fire But he loves you

[@BlackieBloomberg]

He's screaming up at us

[@jaykay4137]

it's always time for george

[@eternalmiasma5586]

This is one of his best. I freaking love his voice he does for G Bell

[@marioiacolucci]

He was a genius Graham bell

[@mrmojorisin71075]

george carlin pure comedy genius and tremendous observationalist thanks for caring so much and making us laugh and that hard to do when there's utter kaus happening in this county and all over this fucked up planet. R.I.P GEORGE

[@jeffreygranger6913]

J Mcginley Chaos?

[@leftyspade]

Watching Carlin for 40 years but first time seeing this, fucking brilliant!

[@gamerdad9870]

carlin is like a fine wine once it is gone its another 100 years before you get one just as good

[@lydiareymer7337]

Miss you Georgie✌👍💕💙💗🍃🍃🍃🍃R. I. P.

[@murray821]

Being on hold, the moment your time is worth less for them compared to their time for you.

[@imdjc4]

Little did George - the visionary - know that his opening sentence would be much more applicable today than it was back then.

[@donjohnson7194]

George Carlin is so good brings back memories, he's one of the greats along with Lenny Bruce both way ahead of there time..old school good shit

[@Stop_The_Car]

[Every time my one roommate comes home.] Roommate: Hello? Me: Hello. Roommate: Hello. Me: Everybody's here. [Then I chuckle to myself knowing she doesn't get it.]

[@hidalgokaballiero]

i totally remember callin' someone and forgettin' whom :D

[@petermrgoudas7572]

I am taking the opportunity here to say "Chapeau" to the late George Carlin. A dazzling and insightful fellow who knew how to convey, while putting his ideas forth and make you laugh in the process. Mr. Carlin zealously delivered his controversial and spirited presentations without looking at notes which demonstrated a remarkable knowledge of history, cultures, and capability to memorize an enormous amount of information, facts, and stories old and recent. George Carlin was simply "one of a kind" Thanks to the Internet; we can today appreciate and value his work as he brightens up the globe with laughter. George; the world misses you and will never be the same without you!

[@bobjohnson8900]

This guy was so hilarious

[@spiderbaby420]

R.I.P. GEORGE

[@radicalabsurdism669]

Best into ever: "It's time for George." No excitement whatsoever.

[@ktnkbdle278]

I always loved his skit on feeding your dogs rubber bands so that when they go #2 you could grab it by the band and fling it in your neighbors yard. Or if you feed your dog Christmas tree tinsel they could make “shiny $hits!”

[@knittingnana2939]

This reminds me of the words that dont go together. Military and intelligence , jumbo shrimp, im not getting on the plane-im getting in the plane and finally you dont answer a telephone, you question it HELLO???

[@richarddarlington1139]

Did you forget, "pretty ugly?"

[@WFerraro]

For people who don't think this is funny, remember that comedy has changed significantly since then and George is partly the reason it did. But even if you don't find this funny, you have to appreciate the man's command of stage and showmanship. These are the techniques he used, along with mastery of language, to make his social commentary that much more hilarious.

[@FerociousSniper]

It would've been really interesting to see him revisit phones nowadays.

[@jeffreygranger6913]

Quintus Aurelius Symmachus Would be.

[@antonioalbul00]

He's ded

[@nicholasheideman9572]

i wish it was always "Time for George"

[@janetremsing6988]

Wait ‘til caller I.D.!! There’s NO escape from that awkward situation! 😂

[@sprintingblue]

What's pretty funny is that today people actually do say that the phone went off...

[@theDavidChannel1]

Because the "ringer" has been replaced by siren sounds lol

[@ponchoonchmoncho3691]

Well, I honestly think that he was like one of the best comizs ever. Period.

[@bernadettepergolese4607]

WOW ... I MISS YOU GEORGE .... RIP ... I WAS WONDERING WHAT HE WOULD SAY ABOUT TODAY ??? EVERYONE WITH A CELLPHONE ..... AUGUST 7, 2019 ....

[@dsrtflwr6093]

I loved Carlin when I was a kid. My ex husband and I got a chance to see him in Vegas in the late 90s. So full of hostility. But he was still funny. I still like him.

[@hirofox85]

Wow. I'm so glad that George Carlin was the type of comedian who changes up their routine. Could you imagine him still doing this in the '90s or '00s? He'd never be able to book a gig.

[@Laura-6887]

Hiro Fox imagine what he be like today if he was still alive

[@canaan5337]

Hiro Fox this was a TV show in 1975. In 1975 if you wanted to be a comedian on television you had to work clean or you wouldn't be on television if you saw him in a nightclub in 1975 he was doing shit like the 7 dirty words that can't be said on TV or radio so you see the problem with doing that act on TV

[@dylanhills4974]

He got to the point where he would do a routine, do it, scratch it and start fresh. It's a very difficult thing to do. It's why you don't hear a lot of repeated stuff from him.

[@vitoguttilla2926]

Hiro Fox He died back in 2008.

[@optimisticwhovian1726]

what are you on about this routine would be as relevant today in 2019 with everyone on phones as it was in 1976, just now theyre mobiles...

[@misspinkpunkykat]

I LOVE his expression as he says, "I'm goanna balance 'um on POLES!"

[@davidcastaneda2405]

Today no one can't live without one you feel hopeless and cunfused and lost of your everyday life. ..

[@livingislearning2227]

he was George,he is and always will be The Great George Carlin!

[@MikeLive1285]

It's great how some of this stuff is still relevant today. I hate being put on hold.

[@nickmagrick7702]

man his classic stuff was even better

[@jeffreygranger6913]

HolyMateria I want to apologize for the mixup in the flood warnings.I especially apologize to the former residents of Roger,Illinois.Caught those cats napping!

[@WildBluntHickok]

Now THERE was a man who could write material. "I think I'm going to focus on the telephone this month..." One month later: the funniest 5 minutes on the subject of telephones you've ever seen.

[@TheOrangeRanger]

George Carlin was a national treasure.

[@redmr2na]

Was and IS

[@anthonyslazas2898]

Sounds like wolf man Jack .

[@allemander]

Unclaimed Furniture Mart. Ask for Donna!

[@lukejohnson3048]

He was a disk jockey at one point

[@anthonyslazas2898]

@@lukejohnson3048 back in the 70's and 80's

[@alworkedup]

This was in the middle of the Tony Orlando & Dawn Show, usually cleaned-up versions of routines I had already heard on George's albums. Still, I really enjoyed seeing him on TV :) :) :)

[@robertward8130]

alworkedup Didn't start the mean old man who cusses act until he got.... well, old.

[@ilkhgs]

This is why George Carlin is a genius.

[@georgegates526]

First time I saw this one. It's good!

[@imsohigh4520]

If only he knew this would be watched on a phone by a person who was put on hold by a commercial.

[@TheRedFist92]

Underrated comment 😂

[@assortedhuman5168]

And then we had phones in pockets, without wire.

[@xxXthekevXxx]

Assorted Human you mean WIYA’

[@joshuabaker6013]

WHAH. Wire? WAA. Have wia coming back e'ry one, hang wiya coming back o the phone.

Morons must speak a different language in the 5 boroughs if they're going to not pronounce R's.

[@aomerkheddam483]

What a beautiful mind!!

[@trevormcintosh5564]

My grandparents names were Bob and Margaret and that was spot on...

[@steventhomas5420]

coke's a helluva drug. we love you George x

[@WesleyStCroix]

He was upset at the begining when he said "television"

[@solidcell6568]

Could have done a similar take on televisions tbh. 'Ima put a flashy noise box into everyone's homes. Connected by wire!'

[@omairsh8]

Yeah he didn't seem to like it at all when he occasionally slipped up, another instance was during the "Time" bit

[@sobreaver]

True, I saw a later interview of him saying 'deliverance was like a song, you go tadada, tadadi and BAM', I think he was upset that he missed a note there knowing he slightly disturbed the flow he had so carefully prepared for the audience ;)

[@MHK1961]

"Alexander Graham Siren... the phone would go off...LOL 😁😁😁😁😁...my favorite of his routines

[@sickman1655]

Always great 😅 thank you, everyone there.

[@RadioCity96]

i've never opened up a thesaurus... i just watch Georges videos. lol

[@MegaGeneral1]

I think that is a really interesting idea of everyone talking to each of on hold. You could have interesting conversations.

[@dianeridley9804]

Party line! Only 2.99 per minute

[@scissors656]

i remember picking up the phone;and hearing strangers talking. it was called a party line.....

[@johnw2026]

Brings back a memory from before cell phones were affordable for everyone....does anyone but me remember being too poor to own an early cell phone, + too poor to have landline service, having to walk to the payphone to make calls, giving people the number to the payphone, and just HOPING they call that payphone when they said they would, or that you'd get there in time to hear it ring and pick up? I been there and done that!

[@OdinVonTogan]

Alexander Graham Bell - I'm really glad his name wasn't Alexander Graham Siren. Awesome.

[@krisfox9833]

He got a lot funnier as he got older. As his material became more sinical.

[@joechapmannn6557]

Love all the comments george was great educating. While telling the truth. And making us laugh until we cry. Comedy / laughing really brings clarity. And shows us that our problems arnt as serious as weve built them up to be thanks joe

[@stevecoggs5256]

Best of them all !

[@potnoodles4life171]

What you gon do with it Alex? Alex= 'everywhere' 😂

[@annmarieperry1686]

Potnoodles4life Alex graham bell the guy who invented the telephone ☎️☎️☎️

[@UltimateEnd0]

LMFAO

[@thecowboy9698]

He sounds like Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade.

[@dylancaleb4169]

I literally just finished that before going on KZbin, and thought the exact same thing, then read this comment halfway through the thought, spooky how it all works out sometimes

[@Bendijester]

Maybe this skit is what Billy Bob based his character on for Sling Blade since George did this first.

[@itinerantpatriot1196]

Man, ya gotta love George's take on the more mundane aspects of life. Like leftovers; "Could be meat, could be cake...It's meat cake!...Put it back, someone might be saving it!" Had the honor of seeing him live about 30 years ago. The man had me at vapor lock. One more funny word and I would have died right there and then. We miss ya George. Some of my fondest memories were hiding out in my friends basement listening to you, Richard Pryor, and Cheech and Chong corrupting a whole generation. That's what we warned about anyway but God has to have a sense of humor because we aren't bright enough to create it so I think it was okay. RIP old buddy,

[@OswaldMosley-rr5fg]

I lreally enjoy this older material much more than what he done later in life.

[@211Appolo]

Hello?

[@davefs25]

211Appolo hello. everybody is here

[@ahmadamoorah5048]

Hello

[@SkittySk8616]

HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIIIDE!

[@Dante-lp3bz]

Everybody's there

[@vicious3772]

Death 🤘💀

[@Planckepoch592]

He really hardened as he aged. He seems so loveable when he's young lol. Would've never guessed he'd age into a cantankerous angry man. Still loved him though.

[@JeffFrmJoisey]

Priceless.

[@TheNewWorldMan69]

George is timeless

[@Thimmet]

This man will always remind me, through videos and such, that there is hope against the new age, "progressive" lunatics. You are the change.

[@robertward8130]

Thimmet He was a hippy at one time. Went from a comedian in a suit to a guy with a ponytail almost overnight. Early 70s.

[@georganna.2371]

Was that Tony Orlando? Carlin is always relevant!

[@robre6840]

have all people on hold talk with each other that's genius

[@michellepost3098]

1976...still had rotary dial phones. I was 15 that year. Also the year of the Bicentennial.