How To Survive Living With An Alcoholic | Part 2: Codependency in Alcoholic Relationships

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Grace Chatting presents a series of videos describing how to keep sane living with an alcoholic. Grace points out that often you can seem to be the crazy one because you are addicted to the alcoholic just as much as he is addicted to alcohol. This is known as co-dependency.

[@annaarviso1520]

I have given my alcoholic husband until the end of the week to leave my house. He lost his job due to his drinking. He refuses to work. He blew through our savings buying liquor while I’m at work. He will now drink from the moment he wakes up until the moment he falls asleep. I can’t take it anymore. I deserve better.

[@marydonald3453]

Good for you. Stick to your decision. He may try to bargain or manipulate. Hope you have some support.

[@melg3356]

Every word you are saying is exactly what I'm going through. Thank you for your videos. I don't feel so alone knowing that other women are going through the same emotional roller coaster cycle daily. In one day he can make me feel loved, disrespected, put down, wanted, then unwanted, abandoned. Then the next couple of days all over again. This is really hard to put up with when you really love your husband and want a future with our children. I'm trying to get him help to become sober. But he has so much anger and pain that he can't get past. And drinking and drugs doesn't help him move on to be happy with our loving, caring and patient family. I hope for the best for all the women watching these videos. For the bottom comment of an abusing husband. You need to seek a woman shelter. They help u take care of your children while u work and school. They help u find a job and help u move into a home afterwards. My old best friend did it and became a medical assistant in a few months.

[@GraceChatting]

Thank you for your comments Mel G. I know exactly how you feel, it's such a roller coaster, isn't it? You say you are helping your husband to find help, what about you? He is your addiction. Getting help for yourself is the best way to help him and your children. Have you watched Part 5? Wishing you all the best in your journey xx

[@patiopat1972]

My husband is an alcoholic a very angry one who emotionally abuses me and insults me,he makes me feel so low we have 3 beautiful boys and I just feel like we’re not good enough and that he doesn’t love us enough to change.its like he has a split personality one minute he’s careing and loveing towards us then the next minute he’s full of rage and starts accuseing me of things I haven’t done.ive been with him17 years and hes always liked a drink but the last 4 years he’s got so much worse,even the doctor has told him his liver is enlarged but that hasn’t stopped him drinking.i no what I need to do I need to let go and move on with my life for me and my boys.but it’s so hard when you still love that person who is abuseing alcohol and us

[@carolineroche5884]

Me too it's so hard to deal with

[@jaenmwa161]

Pls help me am in this situation am scared he might take away my baby he's always drinking everyday am a stay at home mom I want the best for my child I feel angry hurt and deceived am sad in pain pls help

[@milindascott9369]

I needed to hear this. I thought I was losing my mind.

[@shurleebear]

I am living with an alcoholic now for 12 years. Your video has been very helpful. I plan to continue watching your videos. Thank you for your videos.

[@terribealer8164]

How in this world can you know my life. Every video is my life. Oh my gosh. Thank you for this life line.

[@annadreamsart9756]

I wish I'd found these years ago. thank you.

[@startsargent9717]

This is the best explanation for codependency I have ever heard. Everything you said is spot on. Thank you so much for these videos.

[@openbox3794]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can't tell you how much this has brought me to reality

[@urvashipatel5214]

6 years was in this cycle and it would have gone on for eternity no one but yourself can help you... u r the only one who can find a way out.

[@sophieanne9238]

Thank you, this is therapy!

[@brendapowell6108]

You have described me n my past relationship to a t. Crazy to listen to it in "black and white" .

[@GraceChatting]

Hi Brenda, so glad you managed to move beyond it! Have you recovered? Wishing you a happy and joyous life!

[@dawniseryan27]

You have no idea what these videos are doing for me. I’m in an absolute hell with my husband of 12 years. It’s consumed me. I’ve done so much research. These videos have helped me so much! He’s on another “disappearing for a week” bender. N I’ve been a mess. I needed these. Thank u.

[@juliakcawthon1591]

Everything you said is so true. Im going through all of this feelings

[@TiffanyWestNyc]

Omg my husband almost lost his job just the other day cause he got super drunk and couldn't wake up! This is God sign for me to leave thank you for your videos!

[@xxkate0327]

You just described my life! These videos have helped me tremendously ! Thank You ❤️

[@xxkate0327]

Only difference is that I don’t want attention from him, I want him to stay away from me, my spouse drinks at home... every night!

[@mammadingo9165]

12 years on with an antisocial alcoholic i started feeling like i was loosing my mind. In the last two years i have become so angry raging most days took every ounce of my strength to remain plesant for my kids lol i have thought all these things i tryed to be perfect i gave up i moved out then in then out then in i have effected my kids emencly they deserve better ...iam left feeling so selfish that this is the life i created.

[@leighbaker4810]

We've been married for 35yrs he went from heroin to suboxone now to alchohol. I feel like he would die if I left.

[@laurah.160]

Thank you for your videos. You are a wonderful woman

[@adri.nicole]

Hii Brenda! Im new to your channel! I Subscribed☑ Everything you said is on point! I couldnt explain it any better! Its so hard to live like this! I hate it and its VERY SAD to say im not myself💔💔

[@GraceChatting]

Get some support Adriana, join my Facebook group, "Rebuild Your Life" It is a closed group.

[@Mauloa1670]

You are literally describing my life.

[@MaryJohnson-vf9uz]

Oh my gosh you are describing my life!

[@MissBexilou]

My husband is a functioning alcoholic so he won't get help. Or if he has it only lasts a week or two. I have 2 young boys and I'm 36 and I feel like I'm completely wasting my life. He's getting more and more controlling since my Dad passed away in December and I'm walking on eggshells all the time wondering what he's going to do and say next. I know that I'm the only one that can break this cycle as he doesn't want to get help. He won't even hear of it :-(

[@GraceChatting]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this Bexi, as there is no easy way out. It is essential for your well being that you get some support from someone who understands the problem. Al-Anon is a good start. Wishing you all the best.

[@MissBexilou]

Hello again Grace, My husband decided tonight to open up about his alcoholism and said that he wants to get help. I'm going to make a doctors appointment on Monday and we are going to work together to get him off the drink. I'm so pleased that I have some hope now

[@MissBexilou]

Melissa O Thank you Melissa, it's extremely hard. My husband came to me tonight and told me he wants to get help, he is no longer in denial. I hope with my help he can do this.

[@kristinewalley7828]

@@MissBexilou I'm just looking for support and these videos are really helpful. Just saw your comments and I'm wondering how you're doing

[@iiv79]

How are you Rebecca?

[@Rahel8811]

Very helpful thank you 🙏🏽

[@cccopycat583]

you are amazing... wow...

[@svetlanagordila8952]

Oh dear,thanks for described myself.

[@noeleen743]

Struggled for 32 years. Now im divorced n im at peace at last.

[@uzzikain5837]

I can not believe it. It’s soooo true.

[@dstuart2918]

I have an alcoholic (binger) friend that I have this with. I been rescueing him in awa y for a long time--he's straight I'm gay and it's all getting unhealthy. I am going to Al Anon and it is helping me disengage.

[@sheiladyck5863]

Both of my parents were alcoholics and died from alcoholism - I was an only child. My husband of 41 years is now a functional alcoholic, going out almost every night after work and comes home drunk. It's a nightmare!!

[@gaylegreene]

I’m sorry. My husband of 20 years is an alcoholic. It’s horrible.

[@maureensergeant3939]

My life is horrible. And I tried to break free but I am always guilty back to letting him come back I have no will. Anymore to live I have been dealing with this since I was 18 now I am 44 I have lost all my will to live anymore

[@greatlandranchrescue5363]

Please be tough! U r probably tired n stressed n please get a restraining order n find some peace! U deserve happiness! Ask God for help too!

[@janiceharden5371]

Alcoholics are monsters from hell.

[@kcrymble]

Depressingly you could have been looking through the windows of my house over the last number of years. Things are so much better for both of us now that I left - and most of the time I think she is sober......

[@michaelhenry6166]

Good advice.

[@SD-qz9yh]

I’m so co-dependent. I can relate to everything in this video. Now to figure out how to heal me and fill that huge hole in my heart… the parenting I didn’t get. Awareness is a major first step.

[@GraceChatting]

We all have to start somewhere SD. Why not check out our Facebook support group of others who have travelled the same path bit.ly/2Xnn94A Support of others makes a difference.

[@lifewithme777]

This is interesting and right about everything 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Mykitchenchanne1]

Yep, enabling. Been there done it.

[@GraceChatting]

If you are determined to rebuild your life please join my Facebook group, "Rebuild Your Life" It is a closed group.

[@adamfoulk5865]

Thank you. Ive been stuck for two years with one. My other option is homelessness

[@JoanneIonita]

You are describing my current marriage to the smallest details.

[@anandaom6927]

Seeing this right before I was supposed to move house with my alcoholic parter who is begging me not to ruin Christmas. I am praying to be strong and stay away from him this, toget him to leave! I will snap otherwise. My son needs his mamma stable. I am a 4th generation woman partnered with an alcoholic- WANTING TO BREAK THE CHAIN

[@GraceChatting]

How did it go for you? Were you able to stay strong? It helps to break the chain if you get some support of other people who have been where you are now and faced the same challenges you are facing. There is a way to break through and it is easier with encouragement from those who understand. x

[@kayleeelenbaas136]

Sadly I’m goin through this, my boyfriend also a father alcohol has become worse and worse! He blames me for his anxiety, depression and everything else! He wants help but doesn’t do anything, I’m tired, I’m depressed, and want out

[@GraceChatting]

So sorry to hear this Kaylee, and sadly it won't change unless you change. Do try getting to a support group.

[@GraceChatting]

Kaylee you could join my Facebook group, "Rebuild Your Life" It is a closed group.

[@elayneyoung1837]

I'm resentful for sure....

[@GraceChatting]

it's understandable to feel resentful, but it isn't good for you Elayne, and will affect your mental and emotional well being, and eventually, your physical health. x

[@gaylegreene]

I wish I had these before I married my husband

[@djam3966]

4 years and a half until he died drunk leaving me frustrated !

[@rachelwest6429]

Hi, me and my partner have been together for just under 3 years. He's emotionally abusive when drunk, but not frequently. But when he does it's really nasty hurtful things. I tell myself it's only once in a blue moon so just deal with it. He's so remorsful the next day saying I'm so ashamed of myself and please forgive me. Like a fool I have. But every time I do a little bit of my love for him slips away. This has made me hostile and emotionally closed off to him. He wants sex and I can't bring myself to do it. What is my best option?I think I know but don't really want to here it. Thanks x

[@GraceChatting]

You could get some support for yourself Rachel join my Facebook group, "Rebuild Your Life" It is a closed group.

[@ninababy8]

Mine is the same. But not remorseful.

[@MsBTmom]

Im too sick to hold a job, not sick enough to get disability, I depend on his job to provide the insurance I need to get the drugs and the very oxygen that keep me alive, knowing I am one bender and a few days worth of meds away from death. There is some codependancy for you. 21 years ago when we married he had never even had a drink.

[@garysmith3696]

How do you handle it when he brings a bottle home every night, and as he gets drunk, he becomes angry and abusive to me.

[@brendapowell6108]

Gary Smith you find the balls to leave. It will never get better . Good luck x

[@connorleader6276]

I'm a alcoholic please help me get off the horrible stuff

[@GraceChatting]

Hi Connor, I'm so sorry you have this problem. I know it's horrible for you too. So far the most successful and accessible way of getting off the horrible stuff is the 12 step program of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). Why not find out online where your nearest group is and give them a call. They are all people who have been where you are, and have found or are finding some peace in getting out of the grip of their Alcoholism. I wish you well on your journey Connor. :)

[@connorleader6276]

+Grace Chatting I've tried everything i just think it's does not do anything for me

[@GraceChatting]

Connor, It will if you persevere and give it long enough. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Don't waste your one precious life Connor.

[@billybob-hn9mo]

One day at a time. Just today!

[@elayneyoung1837]

I'm in the trapped situation... Im merely breadwinner and nothing else

[@GraceChatting]

Hi Elayne, sorry you are in this situation. You could get some support join my Facebook group, "Rebuild Your Life" It is a closed group.xx

[@elayneyoung1837]

Also struggling with a debilitating condition

[@GraceChatting]

@@elayneyoung1837 it's unlikely that matters will improve without something changing, probably you. Get yourself into a support group of people who get what you are going through.

[@darkwitchhecate1347]

It's almost as if your talking about me

[@TheNinja691]

So far I haven’t heard you give any real useful advice on how to deal with an alcoholic and I find it very sexist and am offended that you keep referring to the alcoholic as ‘he’. Wives can be alcoholics too but the negative focus always seems to be on the man. What about my situation where I’m at work all day and am having to worry if my children are in safe hands because my wife has a drink problem? It’s horrible. I feel sick all day long but can’t leave because I love her and so do my children. Not only that, the courts, like you tend to side with the mother. I feel trapped and do t know what to do and could really do with some good advice and a friend.

[@LaurensLook]

Tom Jones start documenting everything. Pictures of alcohol bottles or alcohol in her car or video of her behavior or her passed out or her in a rage or scissors she left in reach of children etc. You'll feel you're betraying her but when you finally decide to act you'll need proof. I don't know if you're in the USA but if so look up Victim's of abuse programs in your area, abuse is not just physical it's verbal emotional and exposing children to drugs or alcohol and also stealing from you. Every state is different but most have a protection order you can file and list proof and tell the judge you don't want a divorce you want her to be forced to get treatment. Or find out what your FMLA policy is at work and take a few weeks of and tell her she has to go to treatment. As a mother I can't imagine being that way but she loves them she needs help to wake up and be the best mom she can be.

[@TanjElana]

This is stop on

[@anaalfaro9153]

You have good videos but you should get into the point and not keep repeating over and over again for the next video make them longer for understanding and less explaining just the point .

[@anaalfaro9153]

And less talking