Grief is Not a Life Sentence | Jesse Brisendine | TEDxCSULB

[@nomorerealitytv]

death can be an opportunity to choose how we want to live and honor the memories of those we've lost.

[@JesseBrisendine]

yes it can

[@nelsonpierse]

My heart broke for Jesse losing his friend and his dad within such a short space of time. The death of a parent is a major life changing event.

[@JesseBrisendine]

It truly is. Thank you for taking the time to watch, comment, and your emotion you shared through my story. ❤️

[@shhhadowisme]

Grief can give us direction, purpose, inspiration when there was none before. Perspective is everything.

[@JesseBrisendine]

absolutely

[@maynardsavery]

The concept of "healing groups" is a positive way for people to move forward and to reframe their grief.

[@JesseBrisendine]

yes! 100%

[@dakjussord821]

yeah groups like that definitely help

[@michealrighini]

Finding ways to remember and cherish your loved ones while also living your life is a balancing act, but worth pursuing.

[@JesseBrisendine]

perfectly said

[@rawirinikau]

I understand the struggle of dealing with imagined future moments after losing someone. It's like a void that can never be filled.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Certainly can relate to that feeling @rawirinikau

[@rawirinikau]

@@JesseBrisendine 💙💙

[@myfavoritestuff]

KZbin why oh why do you try and stop people from watching challenging subjects. This should be a talk you want people to hear and understand!

[@JesseBrisendine]

appreciate you saying that @MyFavoriteStuff

[@sweetdreams6953]

I don't think they really do, it's just a warning, likely for people who might have youtube on in the background and don't want to be blindsided by some very difficult subject matter

[@badkarma2005]

They're just doing a courtesy to people who may not be able to grasp the content from the title.

[@suncookrocks]

It has been just under 1 year since my wife passed away. We were together for 34 years. I have heard, read, and viewed so much about grief and loss in that time, but this is the best talk I've listened to. The idea of moving from grieving to healing is on point. Thanks Jesse for this Ted Talk video.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Hi Rob, Thank you for taking the time to watch and your very kind words. I hope that this talk can serve you on your healing journey as you live in honor of your wife. Please reach out if I can support you along the way.

[@juliecorona9744]

Yes, me too💕 I lost my mom 2 month’s ago and I needed this video ASAP. Thank you !!❤️

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@juliecorona9744 so grateful this message reached you

[@sueprice4082]

I know this is from 4 years ago but so inspiring. I lost my husband of 48 years in Sept 2023 and all the grief groups were draining me. I want some positivity - you have it here - thank you for the hope ❤️

[@amberdenkins]

Jesse's advice on shifting focus away from grief and towards living life is something I will definitely try to implement myself.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Please let me know how it goes for you

[@kadiya68]

Jesse, you've provided something incredibly powerful and valuable with this Tedx talk. My 22 year old son passed away in 2016. I've worked at length with other mothers who've had children pass away; You highlighted, early in your talk, the subject of guilt and its role within grief. Everything you said after that addresses the very answer to arresting guilt over choosing to live a joyous, fulfilling life, in the very way I know my son would not just want, but actually DEMAND of me. Ben is no longer on this earth with me, but once I freed myself from guilt, I've enjoyed the magical experience of a whole new relationship with Ben. He's not gone or lost. He's never more than a thought away, and I've learned that moving forward doesn't mean leaving my son behind. I began the journey to peace and healing. I've chosen peace over pain, and embraced the many gifts, grace and gratitude that awaited me, if only I would take that first step. Grief is varied and complex, but it did NOT have to be a negative, painful, life long companion. Thank you for helping to get this message out to the masses. All the best, Cat Lind

[@JesseBrisendine]

What beautiful and powerful words, "Moving forward doesn't mean leaving my son behind." So incredibly true

[@biondna7984]

Thank you for writing this. I have a very troubled son who I fear may someday take his own life. What you've written gives me hope that while I can't save him from his own mind, I can find some peace and wonder yet in my own life.

[@kironjeetsidhu7828]

@@JesseBrisendine Thankyou for sharing your way of looking at the loss.We lost our 18 years old son to suicide in Jam 2021

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@kironjeetsidhu7828 My heart goes out to you for the loss of your son. How are you and your family holding up? Please reach out if you need any support. I'm here for you

[@kironjeetsidhu7828]

Thankyou Jessy for reaching out to me,our loss is very fresh and not able to cope,I have a tremendous feeling of guilt for not being able to prevent the tragedy.I do need your help.

[@RayaxMaxine]

Lost my mom to Covid 3 weeks ago. I am still in so much pain. I found myself sobbing watching this because I know my mom would want me to be happy as she loved me so much. She wants me to be successful and achieve great things. She does not want me to stay sad and hurt all the time. I just miss her so much

[@lucasgovenerst]

There's a lot to be said about focusing on the healing process instead of just wallowing in the grieving part of it all. Thank you!

[@JesseBrisendine]

Appreciate your comment and you for taking the time to watch. Thank you!

[@ejamakaatanu1986]

This is the best I've watched soo far, I didn't even know there is a sunrise/sunset day and it happened to fall on the day my beloved brother passed away. The pain I feel is indescribable but I know our Lord Jesus will help me and I will come out victorious. Thank you for your lovely talk God bless you.

[@gakthegreat]

very true

[@JesseBrisendine]

So grateful you connected with this talk @Ejamaka Atanu. I hope you will join us for Sunrise Sunset Day next year

[@saleisalovic]

I understand the pain of losing loved ones. It's not just about time, but also about finding healing and moving forward

[@JesseBrisendine]

yes

[@therealjuanschmidt]

It's sad. It stays with us. But ultimately, it helps us grow.

[@JesseBrisendine]

It truly can

[@marisajane7229]

This is such a beautiful message. Loaing my fiance Mike has been the most painful to experience of my life. I've been through some not so fun things but the loss of someone you were planning your life with is crippling. It wasn't just my day to day life that changed but I had to let go of all our plans and dreams for the future and try to create a new ones. The problem with that is that all I wanted was him. I didn't want to make plans without him. I didn't want to chase my dreams without him. I didn't want me I wanted us. It took some time but eventually the gratitude I have for the time we did have together became my focus instead of the pain of losing him. I know that he would never want any to see me throw my life away to grief. He would want me to live every minute to the fullest, Chase my dreams, and be the best human being I can be. And so I do those things. And whenever I do, I can feel him cheering me on and I know without a doubt that this separation is only an illusion. He lives on in me.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Your words are as beautiful as they are meaningful. Thank you for sharing them and your story with us

[@mahnazniazi1744]

Thank you for this, just what I needed to read. The focus on gratitude of them being in your life rather than the pain of loss is tough but a beautiful way to look at it. Maybe a gratitude journal is a good idea. X

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@mahnazniazi1744 gratitude journals can be very helpful. I highly recommend keeping one.

[@Laura-we8oo]

Marisa, your words described perfectly what I feel about my future, plans and dreams having lost my partner... I need time but I do hope to reach to the point you got to overcome the pain and imagine the future ahead. Thanks for sharing your experience, it gives us hope.

[@marisajane7229]

@@Laura-we8oo thank you so much for your kind words. Early on in my grieving I found myself feeling very misunderstood and alone. I found myself avoiding any kind of social interaction because no one got it and they looked at me like i was an alien who took over the body of the girl they once knew. I was constantly searching for the right words to describe what I was feeling but no matter how I said it, the people around me just couldn’t connect with my experiences and it felt terrible. I can remember several instances when I was either reading an article or watching a video about loss and something the person said hit me so deeply because it was exactly what I had been feeling. It made me feel less alone, less hopeless, like my pain was finally being acknowledged. Those moments were very meaningful for me because they gave me hope that I too could heal. Flash forward several years and I’m still healing, I don’t think there will ever be a time when I am “over it” nor would I want there to be. I have however found immense healing by sharing my struggles with others who may be going through the same thing. Being able to be that person for you means a lot to me.

[@Frostlite]

Changing our focus can lead to healing... I know to some it can feel like a disservice to those who have passed to not show respect through mourning but truly, it's not a good way to celebrate them. If they loved us and wanted us to be happy while they were alive, the would still want that in death, and to look back at our memories of them with joy.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Beautifully said ❤️

[@ananya_soni_]

Person who has gone through grief, understood it and made a choice to choose healing. Every point highlighted, in a positive way, that’s incredible. Thankyou

[@JesseBrisendine]

thank you for sharing and your words. Grateful to read you chose healing

[@ananya_soni_]

@@JesseBrisendine No I mean you are a person who has gone through grief, tried understanding it and making a choice to focus on healing. That inspires people! To look upto somebody who has a different perspective:) And I chose healing too:)

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@ananya_soni_ thank you for correcting me :) I appreciate you.

[@GriefInspiredCatherineMcNulty]

Guilt is the one thing that cripples people the most. I know the feeling of pain as closeness but I learned that I could let go of the pain and keep the love.

[@JesseBrisendine]

love to read this. Bravo to you for letting go the pain & keeping the love

[@donthegiese]

The analogy of focusing on our hand and losing awareness of everything else is powerful. It reminds us of the importance of shifting our focus to healing.

[@JesseBrisendine]

so grateful this connected with you

[@therealmeisme]

I can definitely relate to him saying he equated the pain to how much he loved them, and then feeling like if you let go of that pain you were also letting go of the love. I'm thankful that I know better now.

[@JesseBrisendine]

grateful you had that awareness @TheRealMe it will serve you tremendously through life

[@deegeorge5711]

I don’t know if you have any idea how much this video has helped anyone who has viewed it. Thank you , Jesse B

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for the kind words. So happy it is helping :)

[@corkyamos]

I've been struggling with grief for a long time, but this talk has given me hope and a new way to think about moving on.

[@JesseBrisendine]

so grateful it connected with you. If you have any questions or need any extra support on your healing journey, please do not hesitate to reach out ❤

[@peterfernandez5140]

Since the almost crippling grief since the loss of my parents, especially Mom almost a year ago, I have heard many suggestions from well intentioned friends including "your Mom wouldnt have wanted you to suffer and grieve this way". Your focus on healing rather than grieving by living my life in a way that would honor their legacy, living the life of happiness and joy that they would want me to live, really resonated with me this time. Maybe its the sincere and empathetic way you have of telling your story, I dont know. I just wanted you to know that you have deeply touched me and given me a little hope. I will be thinking about what you said for a long time.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Peter, thank you for taking the time to write and share. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your parents. Having lost a parent too, I know that crippling grief you talk about. I'm so deeply moved that this talk reached you, resonated with you, and has given you some hope. Please reach out if you need any extra support.

[@adityafidelis4419]

Lost both my parents to covid-19 just in the last 2 months it's been just 3 weeks since I lost my mother. It is extremely hard I too feel guilty when am not in pain and being in pain made me feel closer to them and made me feel that I love them. This video has changed me I want to honour both my parents and you have given me a path Jesse. Thank you so much.

[@JesseBrisendine]

@Aditya my heart goes out to you for the loss of your parents. It is completely understandable, and normal, to have those feelings of guilt arise. I'm so grateful that you connected with this message and you have a new path in front of you - one that focuses on honoring your parents.

[@Officialmryuck]

I'm sorry for your double loss. I lost my mom on mother's Day of all days. It never goes away. I'm truly sorry and I know how you're feeling

[@tarahjaiden1680]

What a wonderful way to start a talk by making us all terrified to go swimming again....thanks Jesse.

[@JesseBrisendine]

I still hear the theme song every time I go in the water :)

[@steveparker2938]

My husband of 21 years died some 5 months ago. For about 3 months, I wallowed in grief, pain, sadness and loneliness. I searched the internet looking for ways to "get over it". I came across Jesse's video and it changed me. For me, the truth of honoring my husband by choosing to live my best life set my path from grieving to healing. Do I still sometimes fall back? You bet I do. It's then I hear my husband's voice telling me pick myself up and get going because this is not how he wants me to live my life. And forward I go. Recently I sold the house we both loved so much because it felt vacant without him. I fell back and fell hard. But if he could, I know he would have said something like, " You gotta move on so get going.", and it was alright again.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you so much for sharing and my heart goes out to you for the loss of your husband. I'm so grateful this you found this talk at the exact moment you needed it and have allowed it to serve as a guide on your healing journey. When I put this talk together, I put it together for people like yourself... for those who could lean into it and use it as a way to look beyond the grief and travel the path of healing. Kudos on making the decision to sell the home. That is a closing of one chapter and the opening of a new one. I love how you acknowledged that you sometimes fall back (I do too). Healing and living one's best life is not about never falling, it's about all the falls and the choices the follow to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves on, and continue living forward in honor of those we have lost

[@IllustriousDoom]

I wish that it was more a part of our cultural narrative to honour our loved ones with meaningful actions.

[@JesseBrisendine]

I do too! Together we can all work towards making that a reality

[@lesliecrossI]

Love what he says around the 8:00 mark, we absolutely have the power to choose where our focus goes and what our emotional response should be.

[@JesseBrisendine]

grateful this reached you @LeslieCross

[@lesliecrossI]

@@JesseBrisendine Same ❤

[@elaineclouston]

International sunrise sunset day is such a beautiful tribute ❤ I would love to participate in spreading the love and remembrance because we should be living in honor of our loved ones. Focus on the healing and make each day count.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Please join us this year... it will be on September 12th

[@lisaslife83]

Jesse has a way of explaining grief unlike anyone else I have come across. He draws from personal experience, meaning his coaching comes from an authentic place. Jesse is the life coach for people who don’t like life coaching.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for watching and the kind words Lisa

[@Morelove4ever8]

100% this! I’ve lost my mom, grandma, 2 dear friends to suicide and my sweetheart to suicide. I miss him the most. I’m starting a non profit for kids 9 to 12 to heal from trauma at a younger age and hopefully prevent some from repeating unhealthy patterns. Hopefully help them feel connected to others! And my sweetheart has been with me every step of the way! They’re truly closer than we know. Their spirits are still there!

[@JesseBrisendine]

That's incredible work you are diving into Debbie. I love what you are choosing to do to honor them. If I can be of any support in your endeavors, please reach out

[@Morelove4ever8]

I would love all the help I can get! Write now I’m writing the business plan but I’ll definitely need help. I feel a bit like Noah building an ark sometimes. 😂 He did it though and I can do this through Christ who gives me strength!

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@Morelove4ever8 I believe in you

[@linbonn4749]

I love that his first mention was Move forward....NOT MOVE ON!!! 7:00....TY...❤💔❤Creation was formed out of a commitment to move forward to honor thise we love

[@JesseBrisendine]

love that @LinBonn "Creation was formed out of a commitment to move forward"

[@badkarma2005]

Love what he says about how we create our emotions based on our physical bodies! This is something so interesting and powerful that people really don't understand because it is discussed so rarely!

[@JesseBrisendine]

grateful this connected with you @BadKarma

[@grazynaparadowska1306]

Yes this is powerful to think about

[@argentinianninja]

I love this! I lost my dad to lung cancer on Dec 19th 2023 💔

[@JesseBrisendine]

So grateful this talk resonated with you and my heart goes out to you for the loss of your Dad. How are you holding up @argentinianninja ?

[@orangeblob]

I think a lot of it ties in to your overall view on death and yes so much of that has to do with your conditioning from a young age. The stuff about shark attacks for him as a youth would definitely have had a weird impact on his psyche but I think if you have a healthy view on death it makes the grieving processes a lot easier.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for your comment @OrangeBlob really appreciate your thoughts. I agree, our view we have on death will affect the grieving process. It is fascinating when you study different cultures around the world and see the ways they approach it

[@pablocortez6960]

Oh I love the idea of creating an annual event to honor loved ones through sharing sunrise or sunset photos is beautiful.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Please participate with us this year - it will be on September 12th

[@myadanco]

Grief can be a powerful motivator, especially in those cases where you have no answers for why someone chose to pass.

[@JesseBrisendine]

It certainly can be. Thank you for sharing

[@therealmariorossi]

I never thought about the impact of grief support groups. Reframing them as healing groups can make a difference in people's lives.

[@JesseBrisendine]

It certainly can. Grateful this connected with you @Therealmariorossi ❤

[@reneelapee9]

Great Ted Talk. I love Jesse's perspective on healing and grieving. It took me three years to grieve after my daughter passed away. I buried myself in work so I didn't have to face my pain. I did finally grieve and learned to find the silver lining. This talk provides a new perspective and is helpful for me and will be helpful for others.

[@deegeorge5711]

Renée LaPeé I lost my sister on 1/27/19. I want to lay down and just go to sleep

[@JesseBrisendine]

My heart goes out to you for your loss Renee. I'm so grateful this talk connected with you thank you for sharing your journey with us.

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@deegeorge5711 Sending lots of love & healing energy your way. I'm here for you

[@deegeorge5711]

Jesse Brisendine thank you

[@brendadrumm9708]

@@deegeorge5711 I've felt like that since I've lost my daughter and son what's to live for people can talk it don't take the pain away the perpose of life left us when they left us

[@noahjerted]

I remember watching Jaws in theaters. It was a thrilling experience, but I never thought about the emotional impact those kinds of deaths could have on children

[@JesseBrisendine]

I'd love to watch Jaws in the theaters one day... it was years and years before I finally felt more comfortable to go in the water. Even now, I sometimes still hear the "bum bum" in my mind.

[@natashas917]

Today, I am interviewing for my dream job following the loss of my baby earlier this year. I came onto KZbin to search for some inspiring music to get me through & this video was suggested to me. This was far more inspiring to me than any song could make me feel. I’ve lived under a dark cloud since January & today I have the chance to hopefully re-claim my life & do something to honour my baby’s memory. Thank you ❤️

[@JesseBrisendine]

Reading your words brought tears to my eyes Natasha

[@dakjussord821]

To be fair having those two experiences so close to one another would really mess you up, even if you had a really healthy perception of death beforehand

[@JesseBrisendine]

Absolutely - Life & death, loss & love, do not always have a considerate timeline when they come to be, which is why it's so important we engage in healthy conversations around these topics so we are better prepared/capable of coping when we experience them

[@arielklay23]

Thank you SO much for sharing this! I had already gone through the healing process following my late husband Tim's passing, but was unable to articulate just what I did to get from grieving to healing and wholeness. Now I see that I live to honor him, looking forward to the day I hear him say, "You did so GOOD, girl!" ❤ Thank you, again!

[@JesseBrisendine]

Absolutely beautiful @Ariel Klay thank you for sharing and keep living in honor of Tim

[@arielklay23]

@@JesseBrisendine thank you, I am writing a book about our relationship and completing the grieving process called, "My Forever 30 Husband: a journey through grief."

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@arielklay23 that's fantastic you are doing that! I look forward to reading it :)

[@arielklay23]

How can I let you know when it's published and get you a link to purchase it?

[@silviapalagi]

I've never thought about grief in this way before, thank you for the new perspective.

[@JesseBrisendine]

You are most welcome @Silvia Palagi grateful this message connected with you

[@thetrevorbinder]

The concept of moving away from grief to healing is a game changer from anyone willing to embrace the process. Thanks Jesse for sharing this approach with us.

[@JesseBrisendine]

You are most welcome @TrevorBiinder grateful this message reached you

[@dakjussord821]

I think you really nail it with the part about those "willing to embrace the process"

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@dakjussord821 it's a critical component of healing. As with nearly anything in life, the more intentional we are in our approach, the better the outcomes we can expect

[@staceyerickson8541]

The death of a loved one is one of our greatest sorrows.Jesse speaks with such emotion to help guide all who are experiencing a loss and are lost in that dark hole of grief and despair, to find hope,end suffering and be able to move forward from grief to healing and truly honor our loved ones by celebrating and living as they would want us to.Powerful and inspiring.Awesome presentation,Jesse.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Beautiful words Stacey. Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to share

[@Iamcarlosdanger]

Finding emotional leverage to move forward after loss is essential. It's about channeling our emotions into positive actions and growth.

[@JesseBrisendine]

perfectly stated

[@YM-eg5jv]

I've learned that we need to be able to accept our feelings before we're ready to heal. And it takes time to accept those complex feelings come with grief.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Well said @YM

[@marisolroman0-0]

It's incredible how you turned your grief into something positive. Keep inspiring us with your journey!

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for your kind words

[@violetbrown939]

I've watched this numerous times and it is one of the best ones I've seen for dealing with the loss of loved ones and how to honour their life. Thank you Jesse Brisendine. Everyone who has lost a loved one needs to see and hear this.

[@yvonnerahui8729]

Violet Brown ..I agree with your comment. I've shared to my daughter for her & her 3 children to watch together. .they lost their number one hubby & dad 3 August this year..so it's still very raw. Lots of prayer has helped them & my daughter knows there has been Gods help..plus some amazing things happen that the 11year old daughter has said..'oh mum, they are God moments'. This chap was very good & gave good pratical helps. I'm so glad to have come across it.😊..probably Holy Spirit played a part in that too!😆

[@mtrc8]

I have been attempting to read about different cultures and how they work through grief... I got more from this presentation than I have in the last 3 years of reading.

[@JesseBrisendine]

I'm humbled by your comment @MTR C8 thank you for watching & sharing

[@andididntknow]

Thank you for the re-frame Jesse, it's easy to get carried away with your emotions and not take the time to seek a different viewpoint

[@JesseBrisendine]

You are most welcome. Thank you so much for watching the talk.

[@lathaiyer8065]

Same here. I dont want the pain and grief to go away. If it goes away anytime in my lifetime, i would feel guilty

[@derekgraves8758]

Grief is a complex process, and everyone deals with it differently. Shifting focus may work for some and while I know it's not a one-size-fits-all solution, I can see how actively engaging in positive actions to honor loved ones can bring a sense of purpose and healing.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Absolutely agree @derekgraves8758 it's complex and everyone deals differently. That's why it's so important we engage in conversations and share resources that are helpful so that those who are looking for a light to help guide them can more easily find it.

[@sadiaykor]

I guess it's tough for people like Jesse, if the death of a loved one is the only time you've experienced extreme sorrow you should count yourself lucky

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thanks for watching and the comment @SadiAykor That certainly isn't the case. Unfortunately with only 18 minutes to speak in the TED format I kept this topic focused largely on death. You will hear me use the word "loss" and I do so intentionally because some of the same principals that apply to healing from the loss of a loved one (due to death) can be applied to other times in life one may encounter extreme sorrow

[@jennlogan]

You were born for this. This talk will be helpful to so many, in many ways, for many years to come. "Healing groups" vs grief groups...love that so much🤩

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for taking the time to watch :) So happy it connected with you

[@kadiya68]

Jenn Logan, I definitely agree... the fact that everything is focused on the healing, rather than the grieving and mourning is so seemingly simple, and a subtle thing, yet the effect is profound!

[@yvonnerahui8729]

Jesse Brisendine ..I've just sent it to my darling daughter (in the next room), so she and her 3 children. .15, 13 & 11 can watch together. I know it will give them something g tangible to helping them. I'm one very grateful grandma. I'm sorry for all your losses but the bible says to give thanks in all things...well you can be thankful that now you are able to reach so many because of your griefs. I too lost my youngest sister & my dad to suicide, my grandparents who I lived with when I was 13, my Nana who lived to 102 but had an extremely stressful time in the last 10months of her life. I've decided that when I head back to NZ (Im with daughter in Kalorie WA), I might start a healing group for people who are struggling with pain. .I know my mother is still, after 19 years! And I know my daughter was going to start a grieving group but after watching you the name will change. Bless you!

[@paulacharlesstanley]

Thank you Jesse, I found so much of what you're saying here very helpful - especially the part about grief having no timeline

[@JesseBrisendine]

you are most welcome @PaulaCharles. So grateful this connected with you

[@evanmosk]

Smart young man with a great outlook.

[@pauljupp1514]

Excellent and helpful talk jesse. My friend was killed a year ago, and I was focusing on how unhappy I was, and it's been a nightmare, but this has made me see, that my friend would not want this.. He would want me to be happy.. And focus on that, instead of grief.. Focus on love and now. Thanks

[@JesseBrisendine]

Beautiful take away Paul. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your friend and I'm so happy to read this talk gave you clarity about what your friend would want for you. Please keep us posted as to how you live today in honor of him.

[@chattent13]

Great message.. I needed this today. On my 14th wedding Anniversary Day today... I lost my husband May 6th to Glioblastoma. Only had 6 weeks with him after the day of diagnosis.. I am in complete and total grief still... But it helps me to know, after watching this, that my mind has already been preparing me to heal, and to go forth one day soon to honor my husband with our dreams we had.. Because I do know he'd want me to :'(

[@JesseBrisendine]

Hi Diana, I'm so grateful that this message reached you and you chose to spend a part of your special day watching it. Yes - to go forth and honor your husband... live the way and the life you know he would want you to :) If I can help/support you on your journey, please do not hesitate to reach out.

[@chattent13]

@@JesseBrisendine Thank you so much.

[@chrisjohnson9341atgmaildotcom]

@@chattent13 I'm very sorry about your husband, trust me I completely understand how you feel, I felt the same way when my wife past away June 4th 2018 grief is hard to deal with but we learn to live with it, where are you from..?.

[@jennavivekulo5524]

Bravo Jessie, I share tears with you as I remember lost ones...

[@JesseBrisendine]

[@cilla3636]

I lost the love of my life suddenly in November 2019 we were married 20 years,I'm lost

[@JesseBrisendine]

My heart goes out to you for your loss. Please reach out if you need any support. I hope this talk can shine a small light in this difficult time

[@99brushes]

My heart goes out to you. I just lost my mother 2 days ago and I'm lost too.

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@99brushes sending you love and hugs. Please reach out if you need any support. I'm here for you

[@meagannettles7201]

I lost mine 1 month ago Saturday. I'm here with you.

[@stephanieyorke514]

I pray that Jesus will comfort everyone on here that lost a love one. With me each day goes by it gets better. I truly miss my husband who passed away last year.

[@cbartl]

What a powerful speech! I love that Jesse is strong enough to tackle the subject of death and grief with poise and true heart. While crying may be an external emotion, you can feel the emotion that radiates through his words. How he did this without breaking down is beyond me and makes me appreciate the man that he is that much more. Thank you Jesse!

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for watching and your kind words :)

[@craztinker]

Why are we so uncomfortable about death? It's going to happen to us all. I wish we were taught to focus on the life lived, the good times shared and the spirit of the person which lives on.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Yes! There is a tremendous opportunity to evolve the conversations around death/dying & how we approach it.

[@evanmosk]

Absolutely, if we can shift our thinking around it maybe we'll get there someday

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@evanmosk well said

[@classycari7543]

Jesse is SO amazing in what he teaches. He is a true inspiration and has helped me with my outlook in my daily life.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for the kind words and watching the talk

[@geraldemery1417]

Yes indeed Jesse - we have the ability to chose what we focus on in any given moment. We can change our focus to be happy, grateful or sad.

[@JesseBrisendine]

well said @GeralEmery

[@kristibachman3560]

Congratulations on a great talk! I love the change in perspective from Grieving to Healing and Honoring. Powerful!

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for watching and your kind words Kristi

[@brianstewart8188]

I lost my wife 3 weeks ago, and your message was so inspirational. Thank you 🙏

[@JesseBrisendine]

Brian, my heart goes out to you for your loss. Please reach out if you need any extra support. I am here for you. So grateful this talk found you and you found inspiration in it. May you live today in honor of your wife

[@stephZandrews]

Your talk resonates deeply with me. I've experienced loss too, and your words remind me that healing is possible.

[@JesseBrisendine]

so grateful this resonated with you @stephZandrews

[@scallywagcaptainjacksparrow]

I have watched this a few times and it always bring me to tears. Your message is so powerful, because we all deal with the death of a loved one differently. We grieve differently, we process things differently in life and that is okay. When you say what would they want for us our loved ones, that is the exact thing that would help me heal one day at a time when my first love died and my uncle. The grieving process is always very hard, it was so hard for me. Not to say I don't have my days when I think of them and wish they were here or cry, those days do happen, but I always remember the good memories or feel their presence or see the signs they send, just little things, like seeing someone skateboard and that was what my first love did, so I think he is still skating his heart up in heaven or when I see a cardinal or rainbow, I think of my uncle. Those are the things I feel my heart with. If we listen with our hearts we can feel our loved ones with us always, ever present and if we look, they always send us signs from above. Jesse you have inspired so many people, helped, uplifted, encouraged and open your heart up to share your pain and stories with others and you have touched the lives of so many around the world. I know you have mine and there have been days that when you just post on Facebook things that have came at just the right time in my life. Thank you for being you and thank you for this powerful and beautiful message. Carpe Diem "Those we love don't go away. They walk beside us everyday. Unseen, unheard, but always near. So loved, so missed, so very dear."

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and stories about your first love and Uncle.

[@dennisboystop9442]

This talk was so powerful and provided a very fresh perspective on how to heal from the loss of a loved one. Thank you!

[@JesseBrisendine]

So grateful it connected with you @Dennis Boystop

[@Yoginiams]

I have been listening to TED talks on Greif since the passing of my 24 yr old nephew 7 weeks ago. Everyone offers a little piece of truth that has been helpful to me. Jesse what you said about not wanting to let go of the Greif because you feel a bond is so true. It’s as if Letting go of my pain means he is really gone forever. Thank you for your inspirational talk. Best wishes

[@JesseBrisendine]

My heart goes out to you and your family for the loss of your nephew Ana. It is so hard to let go of the pain because when we are nose deep in that pain it seems like a burden we will gladly bare if it means we will be able to stay connected to the loved one that we have lost. The problem is is that if pain is holding all the space, where is the room for love? When we allow ourselves to let go of the pain we make the space to allow the love to flow in. Its in our love that we formed the special bonds that we formed. It's in our love that we will be able to form the new special relationships with our loved ones... relationships that death cannot severe

[@DeejayJeanP]

Super awesome man, great to finally be able to see this after all the build up on Facebook! Especially with this topic, I'm sure Paul is looking down on you from heaven, with a really big smile, being proud of you "Shrek" 😊🙏

[@patriciasharon9498]

Jesse you have given me a new way of looking at my life even after 12 years of being productive since my husband died. In the background has always been a longing and missing. your words for me are profound. Thank you.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Your comments made my day @PatriciaSharon so grateful this talk found its' way to you and connected with you. Please keep me posted on your journey

[@gazioktay441]

My grandma was the first death I experienced. At the time I felt so removed from it and remember thinking who will make Christmas dinner?

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for sharing @GaziOktay - I hope time has allowed your heart to heal and form new traditions around Christmas dinner that honor your Grandma

[@steph5260]

Having lost a spouse at a young age with a young son I experienced a very different type of grief that which is described here And felt a big part of my healing was going to a very deep and painful part of my grief which was raw and present ... I felt that if I didn’t feel my grief and pain in the appropriate time line some become stuck and are unable to move forward.. After 15 years now being widowed and raising a young son into adulthood i feel that the hard work and effort towards healing and the desperate need to be happy is what lead to the profound healing that I now have embraced! Now as a life and empowerment coach making choices is honestly a true and profound message to give to others Thanks Jesse it was a pleasure hearing your message

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thanks for listening and sharing your journey Steph. If you don't mind me asking, do you feel the loss you went through at such a young age coupled with the responsibility of raising your young son influenced your evolution into the life and empowerment coach you are today? I'm always curious about people's journey's and what brought them to where they are today

[@steph5260]

Yes absolutely my son is now in college studying to be a psychologist.. My late husband was my high school sweetheart we were married 11 years before having our son .. who is now 19 My late husband died of an opioid addiction before there was an opioid crisis .. I feel that my grief was maybe intensified and hugely challenging when I was only 34 raising a 4 year old that in some ways my grief was almost delayed because my focus was entirely on my Sons well being I found your Facebook site as well .. plan to follow and I am impressed by those who choose to empower others ! Steph

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@steph5260 kudos to your son - that's really extraordinary. What you mentioned is such an important topic to shine light on: Grief getting almost locked away because one has to focus on other things like raising a child, running the business, etc... We bottle up and bury that hurt because in those moments we do not feel like we can take the time to fully feel what we need to feel. Stoked to have you be a part of the Facebook Family 💖

[@steph5260]

Jesse Brisendine thank you appreciate that and you are spot on ... I requested to join a few of your groups intrigued 😊

[@allankehler4098]

Thank you for sharing your powerful story brother. You are a beacon of light for many, and I am grateful to call you a friend.

[@JesseBrisendine]

the feeling is mutual

[@juliecorona9744]

❤️Wow, thank you for sharing your story and making this video. I just lost my beloved mom Jan. 2022 😭 and I’m in a lot of grieving pain. I guess I was just looking for answers and you have just nailed it. I will try to change my Grief Classes to Healing Classes on my own because nobody offers or calls it this. 😌 This is brilliant. 💕 I love your idea of the 1000 things to do challenge.💕 my condolences to you 💋💋

[@JesseBrisendine]

Hello Julia, thank you for the condolences and my heart goes out to you for your loss of your beloved Mom. So grateful you found this video and it connected with you. As you change your "grief classes" to "healing" classes, I encourage you to begin practicing yourself the following questions in alignment with that change: How is what I am learning today helping me heal? How will, what I am learning today, help me heal? What can I take from today and use to honor mom? How would mom want me to apply what I have learned today towards my healing? Please reach out if you need any extra support or want to share any of your insights on your healing journey.

[@golddustgypsy6253]

I understand, Julia. SameI just lost my Dad. Its so painful. So sorry for you losing your Mom. I am glad you saw this too. Jesse is right. I know he is.

[@michaelkarpel2867]

Jesse, what an amazing talk. You have such a powerful and genuine way of delivering your messages. This subject is really difficult to tackle. I love the idea of "healing groups" not only in overcoming grief over loss of a loved one, but applicable in many other forms of trauma, disappointments, and other negative emotions and experiences that we all encounter throughout our lives. Thank you Jesse for being a beacon of life and honoring Gabe, Paul, your Father, and anyone else that you have lost that was dear to you. They indeed are living through you and it shines brightly every day.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Michael Karpel glad this message connected with you. Thank you for taking the time to watch

[@jenniferester8735]

Jesse!!! First of all I keep crying over this video!!!! Lol... Its good tears though because it hits me hard.. In a very positive uplifting way!!! This is such a wonderful message on a subject we all have to face in life.. As hard as it is for everyone of us we all will experience losing a loved one... Family member.. Close friend.. We all will and the part that was most relatiable to me was the fact that we don't always know how to cope with it... Such sadness comes and a whole explosion of deep emotions come out of loss... Unfortunately most of the time we feel such sadness that its hard to find anything positive about it.!!!! This video teaches all of us that there is positive.. That we can think of death in a different way.. Our approach and our thoughts can be changed on it... We can move forward and think happy thoughts of their lives and the wonderful times we had together and how they would want us to move forward and live life even better..and celebrate their life by making our lives better the way they would want us to... Thank you Jesse!!! This video is a must to all!!! You are truly very inspiring and uplifting!!! Thank you!

[@JesseBrisendine]

It warms my heart that this message connected with you to the degree it did Jennifer. Thank you so much for taking the time to watch and for sharing your experience with it.

[@jane-so7rw]

Wow! Loved your talk. So Happy for you Jesse that you finally got to do a Tedx talk. I felt super proud watching you. I will be using your method of healing! As I have anniversary coming up this month. It will be 12 years since my husband passed away. Thank you so much Jesse!

[@JesseBrisendine]

Please let me know how you experience your anniversary day after utilizing this. Sending lots of love your way

[@Ezzy0013]

Great talk Jesse, you are an AWSOME person, follow you for 6 years now and the first video i wachted was about grief, that helped me so much, thank you, love from the Neterlands!

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for watching Esmiralda and your kind words. So glad this video reached you in the Netherlands :)

[@bethfricker4740]

So powerful! Amazing tools for shifting from grief to healing!

[@JesseBrisendine]

So grateful this connected with you :)

[@freddyparmentier]

this story was so relatable and his advice was truly helpful. thank you for sharing

[@JesseBrisendine]

So grateful this message reached you and you found it helpful @freddyparmentier

[@Sunshinegrl9576]

Well done Jesse! This video made me laugh and cry. I for one found it helpful and all that you share is so genuine and insightful. I have had more losses in my life than I can count and dealing with death of a loved one at any age (9 years old for me) is something you can never be prepared for but for you to share your experiences with total strangers with a true desire to help others heal is a blessing. Thank you so much for being so honest and I hope you get a chance to do more talks like this one.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Heather Sunshine Escher my heart goes out to you for your losses and I’m so grateful this message emotionally resonates with you :)

[@ckramer1964]

Great speech. You took a very painful time and embraced it in an uplifting, powerful and positive way which in return allowed you to heal and move forward. That is so inspiring. I know Gabe, your father and Paul all wanted that for you in their hearts and you are honoring that by keeping their spirit alive and well within you. Carpe Diem!! Thank you Jesse! 💕😁

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for watching and the kind words

[@l_u_vlesson]

A thousand things in a year? That's amazing! I need to make my own '1000 Challenge' for happiness!

[@JesseBrisendine]

I highly recommend it! At it's core it was a year about living with intention

[@iamnotsomagicmike]

thanks for this great talk Jesse.

[@JesseBrisendine]

You are welcome. Appreciate you taking the time to watch. Love your profile name BTW :)

[@reginaphillips7291]

I thank you for making this video... I was told to get over the loss of my two boys...

[@JesseBrisendine]

So grateful this video reached you Regina. My heart goes out to you for your loss. I can only imagine how that must have felt to be told to "get over" the loss of your two boys. Please reach out if you need any extra support. I'm here for you

[@IAmScoobeyDamIt]

Way to go to scare a 6 year old silly. Even hearing the music gets my heart racing.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Mine too!

[@caseythalson]

it all depends on your perspective. You can be close minded and think that person is gone forever or you can the warmth of their presence in your heart, and know that their consciousness is still experiencing reality, just no longer in a physical sense.

[@JesseBrisendine]

yes perspective is power - whatever perspectives you adopt will influence the life you experience.

[@cathydavies1548]

I've never been able to watch Jaws. I love your message. Lots of food for thought. 🤔😊

[@JesseBrisendine]

KZbin is not allowing me to type in Champagne emojis :)

[@cathydavies1548]

@@JesseBrisendine 🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾 I got them for you.

[@sdboykin1]

I listened to this 3 times in a roll.... it was so good. .. Thank you Mr Brisendine. . .

[@JesseBrisendine]

So grateful it connected with you Stephanie

[@equynenergie]

Thank you

[@JesseBrisendine]

You are most welcome

[@michaelkarpel2867]

Wow Jesse, that was an awesome presentation on a very difficult subject for anyone to openly discuss. You nailed it. It really seems to come down to a paradigm shift of perspective. I consider myself a highly sensitive person by nature, so sometimes my emotional responses can be real heavy. You are right, we all have the volition to choose what we focus on. Healing vs. Grieving! You are an inspiration to many and a much needed beacon of light. Thank you

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for taking the time to watch Michael and your kind words. I can certainly relate to you in terms of being a highly sensitive person with sometimes real heavy emotions responses. For people like us, it is all the more imperative that we are intentional with our focus because there will always be something, other things, people, etc... that will be competing for it.

[@kadiya68]

Amen to that Michael! I too am a highly sensitive and emotional person, and the tools and methods Jesse outlines in this talk are perfect for those times when chasm of grief and emotion yawns wide before me. I have no doubt I would long since fallen into gaping abyss were it not for people like Jesse

[@yvonnerahui8729]

Michael Karpel ..so glad you found Jessee Michael..and so am I!

[@mags428]

Divorce is very much like death of a loved one.

[@mags428]

Thank you for this message. I truly appreciate it.

[@Cheri-USA]

I lost my son 57 days ago. He died a very painful cancer death after 10 years. My grief is horrible. I can’t just get over it. He was my son.

[@JesseBrisendine]

My heart goes out to you for your loss @CheriDawn - a loss of that magnitude is not one to just get over, but to allow yourself to feel, to mourn, and with time eventually heal. Please reach out if you need any extra support. Sending you lots of love

[@Cheri-USA]

@@JesseBrisendine Thank you so much for your comment. Your presentation was so good. I just watched it again.

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@Cheri-USA of course... my heart hurts for you and I am so sorry that life has lead you to a place where you are even having to look for resources like this. Talks like this one are the ones no one wants to ever have to look for. Keywords: gentle, tender, patient, apply all of those to your day to day ... some moments will be better than others. If you ever have questions, please do not hesitate to ask. Here for you and am sending you lots of love

[@ornellarose6378]

Beautiful!!!!! Thankyou 💗

[@JesseBrisendine]

You are so welcome @ornellarose6378 so grateful this reached you

[@ornellarose6378]

💋

[@edwinemmanuel5076]

I loss my wife, son, and nanny last 3 weeks in a car crash. Indeed emotion creates motion. Thanks for the talk is soul lifting. Thanks

[@JesseBrisendine]

Edwin, my heart goes out to you for your losses. So grateful this talk reached you. If you need some extra support, please reach out. I'm here for you

[@edwinemmanuel5076]

@@JesseBrisendine thanks so much for the support. Really I will need some help i don't know how, just few days back I lost my best friend who has been standing by me along other 5 friends in another ghastly crashed. Not finding it easy to deal with at the moment.

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@edwinemmanuel5076 checking in to see how you have been holding up?

[@edwinemmanuel5076]

@@JesseBrisendine thanks so much for checking on me. Healing is coming i must say. Strength is coming

[@JesseBrisendine]

@@edwinemmanuel5076 grateful to read that Edwin.

[@jsg497]

Wow. Just wow.

[@JesseBrisendine]

Thank you for watching ❤