The Way We Think About Loss and Grief is Dead Wrong | Julia A. Nicholson | TEDxFolsom

[@Foreverhodophile2]

Lost a loved one today missing her terribly, nothing helps.

[@llo70422]

My jaw dropped when viewing this talk. This is powerful stuff!!! I have lived a number of very devastating things. Mom passed from suicide when I was very young and last year I lost the closest person in my life. We were laughing , having fun on a trail in Washington State Oct. 8th 2022.. In a flash after hearing only one crack a tree killed her instantly five feet from where I was standing. There I was with my closest person on the trail and she passed instantly. Today Sept. 29th, 2023 I can honestly say that everything that Julia talked about happened to me. Yes I have light in my life again and am moving forward with my grief. I just realized last week in Whistler BC that I could stop talking about it and that I could change my picture in the frame. I am now ready to keep this in my heart and keep moving forward one day at a time. My picture now within that frame includes, light, love, connection, and hope. This is my picture forward and I'm going to live it authentically. Thank you for this valuable talk and I have included your words in my diary. I get to go back and re-read what you said. If someone in my life is pained and sad I will direct them to you talk. Sending you Love Sheila

[@orlandolopez5725]

Wow...I mean WOW....I have seen over 5 TED talks on Grief and learned tiny things from them all But, BUT.... Your talk completely tore me down and, like a true drill sergeant, by the end set me down on stable ground I thought I would never ever find. I am so sorry you went through your journey, but in doing so you helped me find the shore, as I was drowning. God Bless you. I lost my wife of 35 years in January and I thought this was it, life is over. Now, thanks to you, I'm strong enough to stop being afraid, turn away from the shore, and swim toward the unknown. Leaving "It" on the wall" (If you you here in front of me I would give you a big hug.)

[@JuliaNicholson1]

orlandolopez5725, Thank YOU so much for your message. I am so glad what I shared has helped you find the shore and given you strength and hope to get back out in the water. Your life is NOT over. You can move forward stronger with the memories and love you shared for 35 years. Your wife and your love will always be a part of you. Many blessings to you!

[@wasilatyusuf5413]

I lost my sweet mother a month ago and it's been a rollacoster of emotion's, can't put how I feel into word's but your speech help me. Thank you P.S if you're going through grief and feel so alone even when you're in the company of people you're not alone, one day at a time. Sending you virtual hugs and my heart goes out to you.

[@julianicholson168]

It is so hard to loss someone we love. Thank you for letting me know it helped you. I

[@97warlock]

My huge loss came 1 month after you made this video. 12.-21 the worst month of my life & that was just the begginning of this horrible rollercoaster

[@wandasewell4501]

The emotional roller-coaster is so true. I miss you, Robert!❤

[@carolhedberg2341]

Excellent. I'm nearing 3 months since my husband passed, and I need to study this framework daily!!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience!!

[@JuliaNicholson1]

Carolhedberg2341, I use this framework daily as well. Thank YOU for letting me know it is helping you!

[@middleburyastrology]

Thank you Julia.. I hope more people see this. I am saving this link to your video. It took 5 years just to feel I could have a different and hopeful thought take hold. I am sympathetic to those who can not escape a painful pattern of longing to see someone they love again. I've started to realize that you can't know what you just don't know yet. That life has more to offer as you let this moment be its own moment. Really love your 5 R's. Good luck to everyone on this path, you are certainly not alone.

[@julianicholsonpresents]

Thank you so much for your comments and helping make sure as many people see this as possible. So many people feel the same way you and I did. I know the 5-Facet Diamond Framework can help them. It truly is life-changing. I'm so passionate and committed to sharing this with as many people as possible, I recently wrote a book about - "Move Forward Stronger" - that will be published on January 24, 2023. Thank you for sharing hope with others!

[@meiwa2020]

My brother passed 6 months ago and I'm still grieving. Thank you for this talk... I'm going to be trying this framework ❤

[@heatherwhatever7714]

❤️

[@TheJJmags]

May god bless you and guide you in this journey of grief, my husband passed 3 months ago I’m in pain and grief❤️

[@julianicholsonpresents]

Jenny, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that you will feel better and tryingthe 5-Facet Diamond Framework is a great place to start. You are not alone. Together, helping each other, we can move forward stronger!

[@julianicholsonpresents]

@@TheJJmags I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. I know there are no words that can bring you comfort so I hope there is something in the 5-Facet Diamond Framework that assures you there is something more beyond what you are currently feeling.

[@nayelidalisay]

Thank you for this framework Julia. My mother passed 15 years ago and while I have gone through the biggest chunks of my grieving procces and established a pretty solid foundation to move through grief, I wish I had some kind of framework and understanding when I was a child, just like what you are presenting here. Grateful for your share.

[@celesteroseberry3271]

Julia, I'm so grateful for you sharing your story. You are amazing, inspirational, and you radiate with the light of God's love.

[@julianicholson168]

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to help someone else with what I've learned. Blessings to you!

[@americanwoman8713]

OMG! I have no words…. What an incredible human being you are. This is awesome. I lost my fiancé 5 months ago and for the first time, I have found hope in dealing with my grief. Thank you for this!

[@julianicholson168]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your fiance. I promise it does get better. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know this has helped you. I'm so glad you have found hope!

[@americanwoman8713]

@@julianicholson168 Thank you!

[@nicholasdmello3400]

woe! its a grieving world n yet the world is busy in bloodletting . wish we all hugged one another n live as one body.

[@kevinnagle4830]

Julia is a leader and not afraid to speak the truth.

[@julianicholson168]

Thank you!

[@lb1798]

5 realizations 1) ReLive exhausting dizzying loop 2)Reflect..is there any other way to see my loss 6 or 9...more than one true or right way to see something=perspective 3)ReFrame....Loss...snapshot...make me feel awful frame Maybe...something good can come of this...could I help someone else When you change the frame around it ...YOU CHANGE 4) ReConnect...Life needs life...NOT JUST EXISTING 5)ReLease....WE MUST LET GO OF THE. ILLUSION OF THE CONTROL OF THE OUTCOME YOUR "IT"....doesnt have to be anything as bad as death.

[@jonaevan1]

So nice talking to you today. I really enjoyed listening to you. Thank you for your courage & for sharing. Sending you love Julia. 💜Lilianne😉

[@katrinavanaller2778]

Julia is just such an inspiring and amazing person. I am honored to call her my friend.

[@julianicholson168]

Thank you! I am only a mirror for you!

[@Angelamarie314STL]

Saint Louis Missouri here 🙏✨❤️

[@julianicholson168]

Hi Angela! Thanks for watching my TEDx Talk. I hope you found something valueable in it.

[@kaypa34]

I was told tonight by my partner that the grief I’m feeling over my mother’s passing over is directly proportional to my dependency on her and because I’m still attached to her. Mind you, I wasn’t dependent on my Mom for anything. We SHARED joy, laughter, support, wisdom etc. Is my grief due to my dependence on my Mom’s ability to bring me joy, support etc, and now that she’s no longer physically here, I’m grieving the “lack” of those feelings? I’ve been left so confused by this statement and am now questioning my grief and *why* I’m actually feeling it. RIP Momma 8/2/1955 - 9/10/2023 Thank you for this video. xx 🙏🏼

[@JuliaNicholson1]

Kaypa34, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. I'm also sorry for the comment made by your partner. I am not a licensed therapist or counselor, but I don't think grief is able to be measured as directly proportional to anything - including how much we loved someone. Grief has different meanings to different people and tends to be somewhat of a catchall word. Maybe it would help if you try to identify what you're feeling without using the word grief in addition to why you're feeling what you're feeling. Since you shared so much joy, laughter, support, etc. with her, it is understandable that you would miss those things, especially if you're not sharing joy, laughter, support, etc. with anyone else in your life. I think what's most important is do YOU believe you are dependent on your Mom to bring you joy, support, etc. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself grace. You are on the right path to find your way through this and be able to move forward. Also, please remember, you will always carry your Mom with you wherever you go. She is forever a part of you. XX 🙏

[@kaypa34]

@@JuliaNicholson1🙏🏼 Thank you for your words of encouragement and love. I appreciate you taking the time out to offer your support. ❤

[@nanceenurse]

Wow, this is powerful.

[@kallitechnimata]

My brother passed away three weeks ago and I'm still trying to process what has happened....... I have to say this is something that I am planning to use in order to help me, the pain is ongoing and maybe this is something that can help... Thank you for sharing....

[@julianicholsonpresents]

I am so sorry for your loss. Please know you are not alone, you will get through this, and you can feel better. I'm glad you are finding hope in the 5-Facet Diamond Framework. It really can help you move forward stronger!

[@claireinglis889]

Self first is survival, thank you x

[@julianicholson168]

Thank YOU for taking the time to watch and comment on my Talk. I hope it helps you in some way!

[@robertpaylor6821]

Words to live by! Thank you for inspiring us all, Julia.

[@julianicholson168]

Thank you! I am inspired by you!

[@Naturegirl1976]

I was traumatized since childhood after going to several viewings of dead family and friends. My folks would tell me to stop crying, "You're upsetting others." And when I couldn't, they'd remove me from the funeral. Now, whenever I've lost a loved one, I cry in private so as not to be judged by others.😢

[@julianicholson168]

Thank you for sharing your trauma with me. Please know you are not alone and crying is a natural response. I'm sorry you weren't allowed to express your emotions. I hope what my TEDx talk helps you. I talk about my similar experiences in my book "Move Forward Stronger." We should be allowed to express our emotions and not forced to repress them.

[@liciniasimoes8457]

Thank you so much.😊

[@josephjoseph6943]

Very very encouraging Julia. Thank you for you efforts producing this and thank you for the laughs today, you've got one heck of a swing! Barry

[@julianicholson168]

Barry, Thanks so much for watching it and sharing it with your friends. It was a lot of fun on the golf course with you and Will!

[@jamesmonahanmusic]

BLUE IN MY HEART BLUE IN MY SOUL (❤)2006 ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@rider1956a]

Enjoyed this but I will not forget that she had a father that loved her dearly. She never forgot that in all her trials. It followed in her path even though she was stubborn in many choices. What about the people who do not have that father-love in their life? It is a different path.

[@mauricehodos6368]

Thanks for this wonderful roadmap to healing!

[@julianicholson168]

Thank you! I'm glad you found something useful in it!

[@MaxmotoUSA]

Excellent, sage advice from a very wise, wise woman. Lots of respect from here, Julia!

[@julianicholson168]

Thank you so much for watching and sharing it!

[@RubyNeumann]

Thank you. Very helpful.

[@annmarief9]

Great advice. Thank you for sharing your personal story and a roadmap for dealing with IT.

[@julianicholson168]

Thank you for watching it and your comments!

[@kathybrown5872]

Thank you for sharing! You are amazing, Julia! 🙌 Thank you for these excellent “R” tools to help me move forward. I chose grit!

[@julianicholson168]

YYYAY for choosing grit! Truly impactful in every aspect of your life!

[@SwainHealth]

Thank you Julia for sharing.

[@julianicholson168]

Thank YOU for watching it and taking the time to comment and share it with others!

[@KeywestTt]

Excellent!! 👏🏻👏🏻🤗🤗

[@julianicholson168]

Thank you!

[@cordeliadinglehopper5993]

Wow

[@sixgilled]

💙💙💙

[@lb1798]

They didnt fit what I was feeling.....❤️💔💔😥😥😥❤️

[@dougferreri4977]

👏👏👏🥇

[@julianicholson168]

Thank you for the support and encouragement for me to keep sharing this!