Hallmark's Christmas Cruise UNSETTLES Me

[@SisterRose]

Honestly thinking about how the cruise will no doubt be 90% women makes me want there to be a book written about two women who meet and realise they're bi on the Hallmark Cruise

[@tifinity]

...and then make a hallmark movie out of it

[@Lola24691]

Mood

[@MeepMoop-l1j]

Bi awakening on the hallmark cruise is insane 😭🙏

[@lanskandal1181]

I need this

[@lapsijahti]

perv

[@beetlevw5113]

This arc definitely has to end with Pinely going on a cruise himself

[@KGee2000]

I also love vw beetles. Just assuming from your user name lol

[@gsenjou]

my grandma's obsessed with these movies. she's going on this cruise next month, and she's dragged my parents and my aunt into going with her even though they don't care abt hallmark movies. the rest of my family's been clowning on them for it lmao i'm expecting occasional "i regret being here" texts from my mom

[@manaami]

ok goro akechi

[@Mafuyuassahina]

@@manaamido not draw at random sounds so ominous

[@Satnanat]

I had to look it up, apparently its a Persona character ​@@Mafuyuassahina

[@Ere2in]

There’s no WiFi so your notification of her getting home would be 50 texts like “I regret going”, “Why did I come here?”, “This movie is dogshit”, “HOLY FUCK IS THAT DORA THE EXPL-“

[@TheChibiAerith]

​@@Ere2in Usually cruises have wifi nowadays, unless this one in specific doesn't?

[@rosiejl2798]

This seems like it would be a nightmare for the actors involved. Literally trapped on a ship in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by thousands of fans (most are middle aged to elderly women), demanding hugs, photos and signatures, many with parasocial relationships with no thought to boundaries, probably a few creepy stalkers who want more, because they paid thousands of dollars so think they are entitled to constant access to you. I hope there is a strong security team because they are going to need it.

[@tifinity]

I hope they're all just on for one leg and not the whole cruise!

[@gilla2092]

Unless youre a narcissist youll have a bad time for sure

[@ic5889]

I was 100% convinced this video was gonna be about a hallmark Christmas movie set on a cruise

[@dbagette]

Might still be if their documentary works out

[@pillbugm8914]

That one probably already exists.

[@em84c]

So was I. That's why I didn't click on this video when I first saw it yesterday. I didn't feel like watching a Christmas movie review.

[@Local_acquaintance]

This sounds like a conservative mother’s dream 😭

[@THELONEWOIF]

It’s my mother’s dream

[@Mskittenlover12]

A lot of conservatives actually turned against Hallmark when they started making movies about gay couples and now they all watch Great American Family instead. Now THAT'S a conservative dream. It's...very yikes.

[@Local_acquaintance]

@@Mskittenlover12 yep, happened with some people in my family. They switched to the “Great American Family” channel because a lot of ex hallmark actors are now on there.

[@cleosignol9602]

Don’t worry guys the liberal moms are keeping hallmark alive lmao

[@OmiWatanube]

Watch them announce that footage from the cruise will be used for next year's Christmas film, "Sea is for Christmas" and the whole thing was just a ruse to avoid having to pay extras

[@triplesixcrow]

sea is for christmas is GOLD

[@greenhowie]

It should be like the Star Wars Hotel where there's a movie scenario playing out by actors over the course of the cruise. Maybe several at once just to really confuse everyone.

[@Satnanat]

I love how the star wars hotel just flat out let you roleplay a fascist, that was crazy

[@ColourFreakz]

Except, they could play out every Hallmark christmas movie at once, but you wouldn't realize. Since everyone of those movies basically follows the same plotline xD

[@youtubechangedmynamelikeacunt]

@@Satnanat Pretty typical disney tbh

[@definitelynotashark1799]

I hope they have a conveniently placed pole in the event area!

[@danielleoliver1734]

But whose family business is almost going to be closed down on the boat, it’s either that or something being demolished. Maybe there’s going to be a prince of o made up European country going undercover

[@glamrockmike]

they should do like a blind dating thing with people who are as different as possible so maybe people can have their magical hallmark romance moment on board. i know that sounds super awkward and terrible but trust me. also it should be mandatory so people get stuck together like the movies whether they are a jolly christmas fan whos open to it or an angry business person who isnt

[@brookstar0]

Blind dating is like…the one thing I expect when I hear the words “Hallmark Cruise”. It’s a huge miss that they’re not doing it honestly.

[@glamrockmike]

@@brookstar0 for real. i had to wait for the itinerary just to make sure it wasnt there cause i have no idea why they wouldnt do that. it wouldve been perfect for their little reality show too

[@OhGeeWillickersMister]

That sounds like hell on earth. If you're doing that to me, expecting me to spend time with someone I have nothing in common with, I'm going to need compensation, and not just measly reality TV royalties. In case I need to be therapist, dating coach, and etiquette teacher to that man, you gotta compensate accordingly.

[@katc2040]

that would be a very very bad idea 😂

[@ashcraft555]

Only one bed, the door lock breaks so they are stuck together inside for a few hours, a magical older couple that only some people on the cruise can see ...

[@nakkikastike77]

Maybe the Christmas movie premiere shown on the ship will be about a cold business person accidentally going on a Christmas cruise and finding the magic of Christmas along the way

[@jamespusey7186]

was gonna criticise pinely BC it's not even November, but then i realised we're with EVIL pinely

[@skylarfrancesco6948]

Pls continue making weird cruise videos thank you very much sir pine

[@JuniperJadePR]

If you wear a sailor hat while discussing said cruises: do it.

[@sockseater]

and a sailor moon cosplay once in a while to throw everyone off

[@soccerchick1]

@@sockseateratleast the wig 💁🏼‍♀️

[@brightballoon]

I had no idea anyone watches the Hallmark channel, or that it exists, really, until I met a wonderful woman while I was in a private mental health type of retreat place. There were such wonderful women in there, that I lived with in a country home in Tennessee while there, and one of them would just watch the Hallmark channel continuously to comfort herself when she was sad. I found that pretty interesting, never having heard of it, really, before! I think of her and KZbin channels making light of their cheesy movies when I think of the Hallmark channel.

[@jazlynlopez6409]

Omg idk why for a sec I thought you were making up a Hallmark story and you were going to say you met a wonderful woman who loves Christmas and hall mark movies and y’all fell in love lmaooo

[@Ariel-lol]

@@jazlynlopez6409same😂

[@sirius1696]

Hallmark movies may be cheesy, derivative and unoriginal but I'd never disrespect a hallmark girlie. I too am a simple person who takes joy in simple things, I respect it

[@liashamir4261]

Tbh the most insane thing to me is the total lack of activities, like you have a giant ship full of people and 4 activities a day??? Like in ordinary cruises every single second of a sea day is filled with at least 4 or 5 different activities happening at the same time because that's how they work???? What do they expect people to do all day?

[@Caldella]

The schedule feels like this whole thing could've really been a 1-day convention or something.

[@linzonn]

That's what I was thinking, it looks so boring!

[@MrCmsch]

To quote 30 rock: “CERTAINLY NOT AT A MICHAEL'S CRAFTS CRAFTING CRUISE.”

[@OhGeeWillickersMister]

I'd be on that cruise so fast

[@ForkOfDestruction]

The only place where it is okay to hold a Hallmark Movie marathon would be the middle of the ocean.

[@coleminee]

Evil Pinely is my favorite cruise talker* *guy who talks about cruises but does not go on them

[@EllaVada]

There’s a Star Trek Cruise, I almost had to work it 💀

[@ndhart3213]

Oh god imagine if you did 💀💀

[@KristenZianourry2015]

@@ndhart3213it would get weird fast 😭

[@writergrrlxox]

KZbin needs more "Jewish people react to American Christmas culture" content

[@soccerchick1]

I live around a very large Sikh population and I used to work at a local dollar store. Watching sikhs who have never experienced a commercial Christmas before open those boxes and boxes of pure crap we put out for people to buy is just hilarious and eye opening honestly lmao hours and hours of head shaking and answering questions that I really don’t have answers to because a lot of it doesn’t make sense smh

[@davidlionheart2438]

Oh, my.....what a very particular version of hell.

[@Steeldragon493]

If I had a nickel for every gimmick cruise that made it into the zeitgeist this year, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's funny it happened twice

[@kirrb-dot-exe]

I’ve been on christmas cruises before, and it’s basically a regular cruise with lots of christmas decorations, a few christmas activities close to christmas eve/day, and occasionally a christmas show. Literally not too much of a difference. Now i wonder what a HALLMARK christmas cruise will be like

[@starwinter6845]

I'm thinking about my former bosses, who both took 4-5 cruises a year and were obsessed with Hallmark Channel Christmas Movies, and wondering now if they made this one of their ones for this year lmao... I didn't think people still liked those things until I met them.

[@bammythegreat]

my grandpa loves the hallmark channel and honestly its so cute

[@soccerchick1]

So many of my favourite childhood actors became hallmark regulars lol it’s soul crushing a bit ngl. If they were just wandering around the boat I might consider going?? lol

[@camiscreatures]

Next we’ll have the AI cruise completely ran by robots

[@Satnanat]

And that's how Love Death and Robots begins

[@Portal2LabRat]

titanic 2

[@sleepybearcubxx]

Titanic x 2001 crossover

[@justarandomgenius2908]

I just imagined Glasgow Willy's Chocolate experience but as a cruise... I cannot unsee it. 🙃

[@Norah-Zimmer]

I'm not sure if the Disney cruises count, but i have been on some and they are really nice. I'm guessing because Disney is such a big company and has a high standards, the cruise is really clean and the staff is really nice. The good thing about the cruise is that if you just want a nice cruise to go on you can just not participate in the Disney stuff. The older cruises are art deco themes and really pretty, if you are looking for a nice cruise to go on then i would recommend a Disney one.

[@OhGeeWillickersMister]

Dr. Todd Grande goes on a lot of Disney cruises with his wife, it's so cute, they look like so much fun

[@KristenZianourry2015]

Ive wanted to go on one since i was a teenager but i havent put much thought into it as an adult 😂

[@sockseater]

i could hear your brother's editing spirit when he put crickets over your.. mildly humorous lines

[@obairna2285]

Allegedly it will be jolly

[@jadejacobs2221]

Concept/gimmick cruises sound SO FUN in theory!!! Yes please, find more!

[@HellsFurby]

WHAT IS UP WITH EVERYTHING BEING A FREAKIN CRUISE OH MY GOD 💀 they’re everywhere and I hate it but I love the chaos the people upload onto the internet about it tho. A hallmark cruise? Nah I’ll swim back to land it’s totally fine if we are already out in international waters it’s a risk I’m willing to take to not endure all of that.

[@snakegodgodofsnakes1818]

They should show a different ending to the two different “world premieres” of the movie. Just to drive people crazy

[@oceyocelot]

Lol I have been playing so much Stardew Valley recently that the christmas song (or feast of the winter star) is etched into my brain. Mainly because I have been resetting the day to get that rare item the 'tea set'. So yeah I have heard enough of that song for a lifetime. It's very lucky it is a catchy song.

[@arstyashley]

The hallmark channel is like the default on at my mom’s house. A cruise with a COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS PREMIERE!? She would pass out from excitement 😂

[@bluewinkle123]

Themed cruises would be an amazing series.

[@Private.Portal]

istg every halmark christmas movie has the same plot summary lol.

[@_ikako_]

cookie decorating is something I'd do at Sunday school when I was 8 😭

[@spacekid2077]

They film so many hallmark movies in my area i went to get a snack the other night while stoned and there was fake snow and bright lights i was like what the fuck

[@villanelle-dyke]

i love that pinely is slowly becoming the cruise news channel

[@Noaartetc]

Also AI hatred and mundane drama. All very good topics to do chores to ❤❤❤

[@jamespusey7186]

where can i get my hands on some hallmark channel wine

[@lena222jack]

"allegedly" is killing me r they scared of getting sued for that

[@ouroboros8529]

I would be much more inclined to go on a cruise if I got to befriend a fish or two along the way

[@RichardServello]

So hallmark took the free worker model of reality TV and decided to CHARGE to be on their show!!!

[@stephaniebillman5673]

This would be my personal hell. I can't imagine anything worse 😂

[@Bombercules]

WHAT IS THE HAVEN, WHY CAN'T THE MOST EXPENSIVE TICKET ACCESS IT, WHAT IS EVIL PINELY HIDING?!

[@MeTeaOakRStNR]

If this was just a Christmas cruise, not a Hallmark Christmas cruise, I would totally be on board! Im already slowly decorating for Christmas at my house. Ik. Im one of those people that everyone hates. But all the kids in my town make their parents stop at my house for the lights and a free candy cane. So I don't care how much hate I get from grown jaded people.

[@claudiabarillas5618]

I think Christmas cruises are already a thing. Poke around various cruise lines. I’m sure you’ll fine one that gets festive around the holiday season.

[@That0neCrow]

Companies need to learn that cruises don’t work 😭😭 EDIT: GUYS IM NOT SAYING ALL CRUISES ARE BAD-

[@THELONEWOIF]

It’s not gonna matter to them because it sold out

[@PlatinumAltaria]

Cruises work for the intended purpose. The intended purpose is taking people's money.

[@Bepipen]

We’re not counting the Weezer cruise right guys. Right guys. That was awesome. Right guys.

[@That0neCrow]

@@PlatinumAltaria Fair play, you have a point-

[@sarahoftheice]

Idk, the Gone Girl Cruise went off without a hitch. /j

[@zosiapolaszczyk8551]

I can't believe we'll be rewatching this very video soon on Pinely-themed cruise! Already bought my tickets for my private hole in the side of the ship! See you there ❤

[@wikiediea]

my sibling and I plan on at some point going on the Star Trek cruise! It’s relatively affordable (for a full-week vacation) and everyone who i’ve talked to says it’s a really great event! I think the reason the gimmick works so well is a) it wasn’t devised by marketing, rather, by fans themselves. they weren’t trying to cash in on the fan base, and they don’t market it as a gimmick. it sells out on its own year after year b) there was already proof of similar events drawing the crowds and money. weekend long star trek conventions have been happening for decades, where attendees fly in from out of town, spend a ton on costumes and tickets, and enthusiastically participate. and c) its a show about being on a (space)ship. it lends itself well to the bit throw in the amazing organization, good vibes, and willingness to be a bit silly, i think it makes sense why it’s one of the few ones that does well lmao

[@HanneMary]

It’s wine o’clock!🙋‍♀️

[@nannynatalie]

5:58 There was fine print that said it was two separate movies. 💚

[@katniss344]

lastnighti fell asleep watching pinely and dreamt that pinely made a video about a little green snake called a whimsical snake and he said "as a whimsical little snake myself" and I was like "wtf pinely you're not a snake get off youtube" and I have no idea what that was about

[@avalonperez3806]

Dreams are weird dude

[@2doot]

Being trapped on a Hallmark cruise genuinely sounds like hell on earth

[@whitneydaiana]

both sailings sold out in ONE DAY! these fans do not fuck around!

[@HumbleAshe]

I love Christmas as much as the next person, like genuinely. But getting stuck on a Hallmark holiday cruise sounds like torture for me lol. Like I’d rather just go to NY or Canada to enjoy a White Christmas than get stuck in a hot cruise with a bunch of Hallmark die-hards.

[@beebeelicious]

A zombie cruise would be cool. 👌

[@caitlinweiss8801]

I love the cruise videos!

[@Jessie_Bee]

5:45 I think they might actually get 2 different movies because at 3:32 it says “each cruise will have its own Countdown to Christmas Movie Premiere.”

[@annaxoats6479]

yesss more gimmick cruises, i'm fascinated by them

[@asimplecabbage6694]

Pinely has such beaitoful eyes

[@Microfoot]

I love a christmas cruise that ends before thanksgiving.

[@ashtonbyal2938]

Honestly sounds really fun, it’s just weird that it’s Hallmark but a Christmas Cruise is actually a good idea

[@katherinesvoidx9337]

Idek why but your cruise videos are literally my favourite videos on KZbin 😂

[@megan1026]

i watched a LOT of hallmark christmas movies while depressed in 2020 lol, but i have zero interest in any kind of meet and greet or cruise. aside from hating the idea of any cruise, i watch the movies to zone out and not use my brain, not bc i'm in love w the actors or want to be in one of them!

[@wozzywick]

This actually sounds amazing, I love Christmas way too much

[@ihateusernames881148]

What a crazy concept, they’ll make themed cruises out of some specific niche people don’t want.

[@JulianGreystoke]

No one will be seated for the scene in the documentary where people sit and watch a Hallmark movie marathon all day.

[@angrynoodletwentyfive6463]

I absolutely hate hallmark christmas movies. they perpetuate the sexist idea that a woman can only be happy if she is married to the most boring white toast guy imaginable. Literally acts as though that is her entire purpose in life. awful.

[@mrbork7218]

Whyat do you mean? It's totally wholesome when a woman finds herself trapped alone with a stranger in the middle of no where. Sometimes a sassy black friend comes along for the ride too!

[@OhGeeWillickersMister]

@@mrbork7218 🤢 i see your satrical tone but damn if people don't still legit believe this LOL

[@BushMermaid1394]

As someone who unironically watched, and SOMEWHAT enjoyed, some Hallmark movies, this is WILD

[@stardoogalaxie9314]

This is kinda wild why did this remind me distantly of the Galactic Starcruiser? And why did the Galactic Starcruiser do a Worse Job somehow?

[@TheCottonCandyKat]

I literally almost commented at the beginning of the video "plot twist, the people on the cruise are now characters in a Hallmark movie" but then it really happened!!

[@MadGodLA]

Yes please more themed cruise content thanks

[@KwazyKats]

Rip to the staff on this cruise. It's gonna be Karen fest 2024

[@Erdnussbuttertoast]

also just found out that the world premiere of that new movie is a separate ticketed event lol

[@TheAbigailDee]

Even for my hobbies or favourite things, I'm not sure you'd get me on a cruise for them....

[@MaishaI-h8d]

you know what you should do for Christmas? Do a Hallmark Movie Marathon

[@willowdear]

YES I want all the crazy cruises

[@mychemicalmachine]

Please keep doing videos about themed or niche cruises! I find them strange and fascinating

[@JayLeeBeanz]

One Gimmick cruise I remember was a vegan one, and the people being interviewed explaining how much they care about the environment.

[@blapis-blazuli]

If I wanted to decorate Christmas cookies and get wasted on wine, I'd just stay home. You couldn't drag my ass onto a Hallmark cruise.

[@chiamew]

10:02 the way my eyes SHOT open when I heard the stardew valley music

[@cookingwithsilence]

You're always talking about people doing stuff that I would rather be dead than doing but glad they're doing it.

[@kiwwykeen5305]

hasan minhaj did a spectacular piece on the reality, impact and logistics that blew the lid off these horrible schemes

[@dangibbo8275]

babe wake up new evil pinely cruise video just dropped

[@rachelgrit]

It may be silly, but Hallmark movies helped keep me alive. When I had a newborn baby and was going through a divorce, literally the only thing that made all the horrible things going on in my brain stop for a bit was laying on the couch, watching several Hallmark movies, and drifting off to sleep under the light of the Christmas tree.

[@albuszx]

There it is, the ultimate prank gift to Drew Gooden

[@myskypalette]

Cruises are such an American thing 🥹 I barely know anyone from Mainland Europe who's been on a cruise. P. S. I forgot about the Brits so I had to fix the original comment lol.

[@claudiabarillas5618]

My favorite cruise channel is run by a British woman. She cruises on European cruises frequently.

[@wozzywick]

Loads of British people go on cruises. I’m not sure about the rest of Europe

[@heartsforbrenda]

like all the other replies, I’m british (never been on a cruise cause i HATE boats) but many of my friends have and go frequently

[@Mafuyuassahina]

I’m Swedish and only a teenager, but I’ve still been on 4-5 cruises (I forgot the exact number) and my parents have been on even more

[@adafrost6276]

One reason they are incredibly popular in the US is that they are a relatively inexpensive and time efficient way to go to a foreign country without a passport. About 55% of Americans don't have a passport (used to be over 90% just a couple decades ago, the change to the Canada and Mexico border laws made the number skyrocket). Most cruises only last 3-4 days, so that's short enough to do with our really crappy limited number of vacation days.

[@claudiabarillas5618]

Yes, do a series, but also, go on a gimmick cruise.

[@kiwwykeen5305]

this is egregious considering the climate disasters happening...

[@opheliamunroe1110]

I feel like the appeal of this is getting away from the weather but like...where is it going because November at sea sounds...😬 My tummy just turned. No you won't have to deal with the snow and stuff but if you're still in this hemisphere it's still freaking winter?? This sounds terrible.

[@Hannah_MusicBird]

My mom and I like watching the movies to point out the inconsistency in dressing and makeup as well as not so great acting at times! My dad will take a nap half way through one movie and wake up at the other half and think it’s the same movie while my mom go into the wardrobe lol

[@allisonl6604]

call me a middle-aged lady, but honestly, if I had known about this before the tickets sold out, I would have gone. I love Christmas so much

[@larsworld]

YES YES YES PLEASE GIMMICK CRUISES PLEASE PLEASEEEE PLEASE EVIL PINELY 😭

[@maddieb_99]

lmfao i didn't know they were doing a cruise too??? i think i heard about them hosting some kind of "christmas town" event

[@NessaPhillips]

Sounds so unhinged 😂

[@TheSquall869]

Let's make pinely secret dream comes true. Let's go for the wierd cruise series

[@ttttttarget6276]

please do more cruise centred content so i can laugh at cruises and try to forget how devastating they are for marine wildlife, climate change, and like the earth in general

[@sweetbabyrays9]

this is like the weezer cruise but completely opposite

[@burntalphabetsoup6772]

i would love more gimmick cruise videos!!!

[@Ashers_Journal]

Wait, is that Angel cake on your pfp? That’s so cool!

[@burntalphabetsoup6772]

@@Ashers_Journal YEAHH i love the 80s strawberry shortcake :D

[@Ashers_Journal]

@@burntalphabetsoup6772 :D