The Worst Christmas Movie I've Ever Seen

[@HighAsHeckPriestess]

The director was so busy raiding the local daycare he forgot to improve his filmmaking abilities

[@mistuhwhite69]

That’s not funny. He likes them younger.

[@lillypar8415]

OH MY GOD

[@shineinstars]

BYEE

[@Bunny_Bill]

NAH💀

[@otterbread8200]

@ville__you are the saddest little man ive ever seen

[@janetandamocha7874]

The most realistic thing in this movie is the government thinking a video of a woman talking about laws with farmers wandering aimlessly in the background would go viral.

[@debdebberton]

Leslie Knope did it better

[@mrs.samuel.L.jackson]

​@ville__lemme fix that for you: Kurtis re-uploads my videos and makes millions off of my hard work. And has never given me credit! You illiterate-

[@oldgoat381]

Followed shortly by someone from a middle of nowhere town remembering the last time a federal politician showed up

[@StarSailor06]

@ville__ sure buddy

[@bratatouille]

And the least realistic is a US politician suggesting unionizing to workers

[@LetsGetLiberated9]

It's so insanely gross that their 'friendship' started when she was 14 (~ 8th grade/freshman) and he was 23 (old enough to have graduated college and potentially be living on his own). And the fact that he's so open about it without any pushback from his followers is beyond alarming

[@Asm0d3u5]

Actually, there was pushback, but he locked the comments and banned all the sane people.

[@billbill6094]

And of course the use of the term friendship was not to be subtle but used in the way people call their wives their best friend.

[@dlaBerAuoY]

many levels of wrongness with this😭

[@Pokefan8263]

Her parents failed her 😔

[@iclynnx]

I rarely get a physical reaction from messed up stuff but that, that made me cringe, I just wanted to bury my face. And I kind of did, I held my hand against my face. What makes it worse is that he's most likely a Christian, and probably goes on about how the "alphabet mafia" are groomers and crap 😓 The hypocrisy never fails to make me lose faith in humanity

[@MyAltdraco]

"I haven't seen real snow like this in years" said while walking through a single line of soggy diapers has to be the most hilarious scene I've ever watched. I almost spit out my coffee laughing at that. Wow. Yeah, you know I don't think I've EVER seen real snow like that.

[@todo_touya]

the idea of christian baker being a christian baker reminds me of colleen hoover’s book where her florist character is literally named lily blossom bloom 😭

[@erxs]

nominative determinism

[@Random-sk6hm]

My home ec teacher was called Miss Baker and used to teach us how to bake stuff

[@AshaSara]

LMAOO

[@GoobyGoober-ho1ls]

Me and my friend were joke reading "Hopeless" (another colleen hoover book) and the main characters friends name is Six. Her original name was Seven but she changed it to Six because she didn't like the name Seven. I had to try so hard not to use the book as kindling

[@phishcatt]

@@erxs 🤣

[@AdamHarumDB]

I love that she’s offered 3 jobs in the span of a week and accepts all of them.

[@Random-sk6hm]

''So we have a few positions available in our company right now, a HR manager, a marketing executive, a PR coordinator and a sales representative'' ''Great, I'll take em all'' 😃

[@soapygirl83]

And you know you can just take a government job. You know there's no hiring process or vetting process whatsoever.

[@Fermin-hw5pd]

​@@soapygirl83Just like irl

[@sethharris813]

Installing a secretary of agriculture that has been secretly screwing farmers is the most believable part of this movie.

[@justinwatson1510]

In real life they would have appointed someone who hadn't been screwing farmers with their consent.

[@coraorac]

@ville__no... kurtis steals MY vids!!!

[@UnchargedBattery978]

@ville__bro kurtis is literally in the video? like i know you’re a bot or whatever but this is so stupid

[@quaga]

in real life there would be a whole senate confirmation process

[@KatietheKreator]

@ville__ says the guy whose only content is a community post advertising a homophobic discord server

[@colincahill7855]

Ah, yes, getting "promoted" to Secretary of Agriculture...without a Senate hearing, or confirmation, or meeting with the president, or any of the other constitutional steps necessary for the position.

[@hnichole]

I don't see enough people talking about this, thank you haha. All of my APUSH and AP Gov knowledge came flooding back and I was like, I swear the secretary of agriculture is appointed by the POTUS, and confirmed by the Senate, so why is everyone acting like she's just casually getting promoted at some random local business. 😭

[@maddieb.4282]

It’s almost like it’s a movie about America made by Germans lol

[@YouTubeaccoubr]

Also right after she screws over every single farmer in the country

[@anthronox4992]

The guy's pedo. You can't expect him to think.

[@mylifeisrushhour2]

Apparently it's open to the highest bidder now lol

[@noodlesofoodles]

i don’t think i’ve ever seen someone hate christmas as much as the main characters in christmas movies

[@2ndperky]

bah humbug

[@LadyMajolish]

Scrooge would be Jealous of Them.

[@Iminsideyourwall_]

She’s not like every girl 🤪

[@beautyfrompainxxx]

The Grinch be hatin

[@zacziggarot]

Because most people don't care or are numb to the holidays while Christmas movie protags are ADAMANTLY against the holidays

[@HopeIsADrug11037]

THEM SAYING THEIR MOVIE WAS WATCHED 10 MILLION TIMES IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT 😭

[@graphix1e]

literally insane move

[@urgereturnz6540]

watched morbillion times

[@nate9361]

Kurtis should get them to legally show a link to his video as proof lol

[@gilded-pasta]

at first I thought they meant just 10😭

[@drewgoin8849]

19:01 If I had that record for (secondhand) viewership, I'd make sure my main character didn't have jacked-up hair.

[@mrfahrenheit1319]

Kurtis never made a “farmer? I hardly know her!” joke and honestly it ruined my Christmas

[@Swordprincess777]

Omg you're so right 😭 who IS he

[@kal_cite]

@ville__man that sounds like a skill issue ‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥

[@jinx7641]

@ville__ good.

[@CerealXperimentsLain]

@ville__ive seen you multiple times spam trolling in youtube comments section and its such a waste of space + very cringe 😔

[@Fermin-hw5pd]

​@ville__ That so? Well, want me to cry for your loss?

[@big_smoke68]

19:56 it's crazy that the small lines Kurtis gives about eggnog are more interesting than the entire movie, the implication that Christian is a cult leader and eggnog was the only one to go against him and he was punished by being banished to the basement and now everyone sees him as just an insane Goblin

[@carriem2115]

they were dating since she was 14, ten year age gap, married at 18, and currently she is pregnant. i feel so bad for her, she seems happy but has no idea how she's been groomed and how wrong it is

[@egg4666]

i guess the only thing we can hope for is that she leaves or the abuse doesn't get any worse than that;;

[@xp7575]

​@@egg4666hope it doesn't get worse? Did you miss the part where he's using her body to grow his next victim??

[@egg4666]

@@xp7575 no I didn’t mean to disregard that at all. Sorry.

[@moniquemoen7125]

Ignorance is bliss, or some sh** like that.

[@ludgersandhager2837]

Kurtis lied about the age gap it’s maximum 4-5 years

[@Cycloon16]

Fun fact: Mariah Carrey actually has said in one of her songs that she doesn’t like this movie. The line in question is “ I… don’t want A Law For Christmas…”

[@chocolateaddictedartist5924]

🤯

[@thishappenstobehere]

Big brain

[@snakeeatingapringle0]

Kurt I’m begging you to pin this comment it’s so fucking funny

[@It-is-me...Melsie]

@bibliobibuli_ Report the spammer. Perhaps if enough people do he'll be forced out.

[@pqcowboychanel]

@ville__good

[@lokmister]

The fact that she was 14 when they became “best friends” is insane and he should be arrested.

[@darrylwhitefeather207]

YES

[@mariamimi11297]

He was 23 when the became "best friends". Why is he not in jail?!

[@mikyto7313]

UnFun Fact: He is from Germany and it's pretty much legal. I'm from Europe and the age of consent is 15. No limits. You can be 68 and have a 15yo girlfriend. There was a couple on 'Wife Swap' here where the dude groomed his bride after meeting her on Facebook when she was 14. They were on Wife Swap when he was 45 and she was 17. They had kids. Completely legal mind you. Not even a big outcry followed. It was just a normal episode. If someone ever tells you Europe is some kind of a utopian heaven, they are wrong. There are so many things the US does better.

[@darrylwhitefeather207]

@@mikyto7313 I'm from Germany too and I don't understand why that's legal 😢

[@ih8uxo]

FRR

[@asleepeep]

The mayor actually taking the farmer's kid's presents sent me to the moon... And then I got to the part where he gives them back to the kids as if he was the who originally got them and I was shot out of the galaxy.

[@MelancoliaI]

He was teaching the father a valuable lesson about rugged individualism and self reliance (sound Christian principles, see *giggle* the book of Acts for more) by shaming him for not providing during the holidays. The Christian thing to do.

[@I1like1wood1ash]

​@@MelancoliaIokay I looked up the book of acts and don't see what it has to do with anything here. Could you explain what I'm missing? /gen

[@yakketyyak6414]

The “I eat MICE, I eat MICE for DINNER!!!” At eggnogs first appearance was so much more guttural and convincing than most of his other skits lmao

[@syds8752]

The background music also doesn’t help

[@Velvetx4cove]

My first thought was wondering who left Eggnog out of the attic? 😰

[@parasitophobia]

The way that “I eat MICE! I eat MICE for DINNER!!” takes me out with laughter literally every single time, it is hurting me

[@Fermin-hw5pd]

The way he says "I've never seen the Sun" kills me

[@kellanbellchamber6430]

God I can’t stop laughing make it stop please 😭😭😭😭

[@juniperjonestown]

As someone who is 23, the idea of dating a 14 year old is absolutely unimaginable, disgusting, unhinged, and INSANE Okay he was 18 when they started dating, BUT THAT REALLY ISNT AN IMPROVEMENT 😬

[@willywonka7812]

He wasn't dating her then. Only grooming her as a trusted older brother figure, presumably

[@Wasa8i2]

@@willywonka7812 ive also heard, allegedly, that he was her youth pastor and thats how they met. oh boy.

[@AYVYN]

@@Wasa8i2You know bro pulled the “God planned for us to meet”

[@CoolAnagram]

I'm fourteen and I wouldn't even date a fourteen year old 😭

[@koiifsh]

​@@CoolAnagramur so real for that (im also 14)

[@casrrole]

ain’t no way the “finally 18” guy made a movie with LAW in the name, that’s just classic comedy

[@billbill6094]

Unfortunately, the laws in many states may be on his side on that one. Child marriages with parent's permission are legal, and the crowd he appeals to is the type of crowd who would give their daughters hand to a "good christian man"

[@livebackwards]

A Very Statutory Christmas

[@shiannafoxx]

@@billbill6094 It's fucking vile. But yeah, the drag queens reading stories to kids and gay books are the ones "grooming children." Absolutely deplorable

[@ABC-sz7rd]

@@billbill6094🤮

[@buberrycrunch]

you don't even have videos bot b1tch@ville__

[@bladewolf39]

Idk what's worse: the fact that the producer dated a 14 year old girl and bragged about it for 4 years or that 175 people liked that picture at the time. 175 people are totally okay with this dude dating a minor. Age is just a number, jail is just a room, and age of consent laws are just words written on a piece of paper amirite?

[@spidey5558]

I will play devil's advocate here and say that maybe they didn't fully read the caption, and when they did realize what it said, they couldn't find the post anymore.

[@emilylikestocrochet]

I think the producer is German, where the age of consent is 14, so it is legal (unfortunately)

[@maddieb.4282]

@@emilylikestocrochetnot really relevant considering the issue is moral not legal

[@pyramidhead6998]

​@@maddieb.4282"Jail is just a room". Thats what the comment is refering to. Also not every country follows the leadership of the US when it comes to morality and legality. Youre not the leaders of the world.

[@SaucyDerrick]

13:46

[@Kasey_Taylor]

Joshua Wesely limited comments on his posts after people started calling him out for grooming his child bride. She also limited her comments. It’s really a damn shame that he brainwashed her so badly. Poor girl.

[@natlchan]

Yo she’s pregnant now. they posted last month. so fucked up

[@jordy_muhnordy]

​@@natlchanoh my God say sike right now

[@vmofu7317]

Makes me sick

[@Lionclam]

@@natlchan Please say sike

[@thenewsilverwolf]

Can someone call CPS or the FBI or something on these people??

[@baralt7882]

You and drew reviewing the worst Christmas movies humanity has ever seen is the highlight of the holiday season

[@PenneyLan]

Ikr

[@KevKev-v6w]

Don't forget about Danny!

[@Sproooti]

I love watching my favorite KZbinrs suffer by watching the most terrible Christmas movies 🫶

[@ebonyalexis32]

This is my version of watching holiday movies every year

[@connorhart7597]

Its the reason for the season. Better reason than some jewish carpenter that said some good stuff and some bad stuff LOL

[@KingOfGaymes]

I’m already scared that the “SHES FINALLY 18!” dude made another movie

[@mae_ra]

He even plans a series about masculinity

[@FamChan123]

​@@mae_raNothing more masculine than taking advantage of teenage girls naivete to coerce them in to a baby trap marriage, right mine fellow alphas?

[@amandamarinovich6164]

​@mae_ra oh geez... can't wait for Kurtis' take on that 😂

[@Aurelian369_]

@@mae_ra masculinity is when you commit sex crimes

[@IvelTheInvader]

@ville__ come on bro if you’re gonna make rage bait at least make it believable

[@nick-marshall-photography]

23 becoming "best friends" with a 14yr old? Straight to jail.

[@pyramidhead6998]

He was 18 when she was 14 so unfortunately that makes it legal.

[@Mrlilgoofy]

⁠@@pyramidhead6998he was 27 when the post was made about her turning 18

[@iclynnx]

​@@pyramidhead6998 Honestly should not be legal, as an 18-year-old myself. A 14-year-old is so young, inexperienced, and will go through tons of changes mentally. When I was 14 I was still just a kid with no clue how the world works and what even politics really is other than voting and old adults debating eachother om things I didn't care about. You should NOT even be "best friends" with a young teen, as someone over 18. You can be a big brother, sister or father or mother figure, or an aunt or uncle, but there has to be boundaries.

[@Mortimer_RS]

@@iclynnx I'm gotta shorten your comment, a person with the age of going to college should not be dating a person who isn't even in High School.

[@iclynnx]

@@Mortimer_RS I went more in-depth with my comment. You can add to the conversation, but you know, it's pretty rude to be like "I gotta shorten your comment". My comment doesn't need fixing.

[@AW-zd1lt]

"Silly woman, you cannot be fulfilled by big city career. You want to marry in small town have baby love christmas" -most Christmas romcoms

[@myriellachance]

Yours is the best comment I've read so far, and so spot on. "Silly woman. Work no make you happy. See how bitter you are because of work? Meet man to work for you. Be happy. Stay at home for man. Simple life."

[@DarkShadic9632]

@ville__zesty pop you don’t _have_ any videos 💀

[@Grana_geo]

it's a bot@@DarkShadic9632

[@internalizedhappyness9774]

You forget about the homes in the movie that has no traces that anyone actually lives in in them because they’re sets on a movie therefore making people shameful about the status of the audiences real house!

[@OneTopic]

Let’s spread the word of Jesus🥰 but NOT to CANADA🔫😡

[@ayo32]

hello random check mark that i have never seen nor heard of

[@rainbowlack]

i know this guy!

[@sarahbear5601]

😂😂😂

[@xp7575]

​@@ayo32wtf is the checkmark for?

[@likearelapse]

OT!

[@ElBreaksLoose222]

honestly the old politicians being entirely confused by social media is the most realistic part of this movie

[@TheNewms90]

Senator: that tik tok, can that access my home wifi?! CEO: Uhhh, yea. It needs the internet to work. A very dumbed down recreation of an actual question and the response asked by a Senator to the CEO of Tik Toc.

[@AviKats66]

That and a politician being appointed to secretary of x without any prior experience or qualifications in the field.

[@aren-u4t]

the director was so busy going to the shein factories to find misstreses that he forgot to improve his filmmaking skills

[@malegazeofficial]

​@@aren-u4t huh? they met at church. what does his filmmaking skill have to do this topic of boomers struggling with technology?

[@malegazeofficial]

@@aren-u4t oh nvm you just copied this from a popular comment, got it 👍

[@meghanphillips3495]

13:11 Of course he doesn't get adult banter. He only has to be suave enough to impress 14 year olds.

[@Jerome18921]

NAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[@thebestcayplays]

As a farmer, I burst out laughing when I heard “modern machines save money”, some implements can help but most are way too expensive, you can tell that these people don’t know what they’re on about

[@negligible_reality]

Farmer? I hardly know 'er! 🤠

[@RebaMcImTired]

So many conservatives want this farmer/Amish/1600s type of “aesthetic” so badly, but don’t actually want to be that. That description probably made no sense, but I kind of hope people still know what I mean.

[@crow1247]

No, no, it made sense. Thank you for that, I'ma use it now ​@@RebaMcImTired

[@lacy.x0]

Im a farmer and this is nothing similar to my experience but maybe thats just because these people are americans 😂

[@lizzyrank5405]

​@lacy.x0 lol no, the director just doesn't know what real farmers are.

[@renskedunnewold1995]

Speaking as someone who enjoys the genre, a romcom should NEVER be 2,5 hours

[@Allenluvable]

Speaking as someone who doesn't enjoy them, but will watch them with friends and family who like them, 2.5 hours of a romcom would kill me lol.

[@ireadfanficsforcomfortandn2534]

Unless it’s a Bollywood movie-

[@frostyvoid827]

Idk about 2 hours, I don't watch romcoms, but 5 hours is definitely way too much

[@basedjulius4565]

All she needed to lighten up her mood was seeing a child be sad, she’s so wholesome ❤❤❤❤

[@dk0t127]

She saw a child crying and completely changed her personality without any actual character development, she has such a good heart ❤❤❤

[@hannahmary6023]

@@dk0t127 sounds like my mom tbh

[@Random-sk6hm]

She saw a child crying and decided to change careers and spend her entire life savings on finding the cure to cancer, she's so wholesome ❤❤❤

[@Coolestcoolguy]

@ville__ bro what

[@petervetymir9231]

@ville__like Kurtis said “why don’t you stop complainin’?” Like bruh you ain’t ever gonna be famous. (Edit) especially with that attitude.

[@kayemma443]

Kurtis and Drew (and Danny) should film their own Christmas movie this year and release it next Christmas season

[@IvysWhackedWonderland]

I would watch that in theaters

[@balls_gaming]

why is danny in brackets lmao

[@kayemma443]

@@balls_gaming at the time I made the comment, only kurtis and drew had both posted videos about the worst Christmas movies ever, but I wanted danny involved

[@Mntan]

gotta love how the "they are making everything political" crowd literally made a christmas movie about a conservative politician

[@negligible_reality]

gotta love how hypocritical conservatives are 🤗

[@the-unknown-1]

because their definition of 'Political' is non-straight, non-white people.

[@tacenda3250]

To be fair, you don't know if the writers of the movie are part of the "they are making everything political" crowd. Instead, they could be part of the "let's make everything political" crowd. Don't get me wrong, this movie sucks, but don't be too presumptuous.

[@jamesrawlings46]

It's unfortunately impossible for something to not be political due to what has been made political. Some people are political simply by existing. I feel like it has gotten worse with social media.

[@ordogordo6589]

Also to be fair, the movie is the cookie-cutter plot of big mean lady goes to caring town and learns to abandon dumb office politics (or actual politik) for cozy comfy ranch world, so it’s kind of trying to escape it?

[@sauceyswole]

“Finally 18!” Bro was 23 grooming a 14 year old and thats actually sick.

[@angelamaryquitecontrary4609]

I believe he was her 'youth pastor', or some such ghastly christian americanism. Honestly mate, I ask you.

[@dogboyslobber]

@@angelamaryquitecontrary4609 that makes it so much worse holy shit

[@angelamaryquitecontrary4609]

@@dogboyslobber Yes, he managed to look pastor youth. ( Past her youth - geddit?)

[@dogboyslobber]

@@angelamaryquitecontrary4609 god damnit why did that actually make me laugh

[@angelamaryquitecontrary4609]

@@dogboyslobber I'm so sorry, Tranz. I just couldn't resist it: call it a mum joke if necessary. I WAS going for something complex and sophisticated about Louis Pasteur, but then I thought No, can't be arsed. I was also going to attempt something special with madeleines and tisane and Proust and everything, but then I also thought No, can't be arsed. Also, no way Trump would eat a cake as small as a madeleine.

[@PenneyLan]

Kurtis is like that uncle that your family doesn’t let you hang out with

[@skragboy]

Good ol’ uncle Kurt

[@agustinortega5688]

Uhhh i think you mean EGGNOG

[@TheSuperiorQuickscoper]

And Joshua Wesely is the radicalized MAGA cousin that your family is fine with you hanging out with some reason

[@skraphashobbies]

@@agustinortega5688errrm! that was a real unicorn bacon moment! ☝️ With the sauce! /j

[@PantryPirate526]

​@@skraphashobbiesTook the words right out my mouth 😂

[@hayley58]

TWO AND A HALF HOURS absolutely blew my mind, im here thinking we must be like 50 mins into a 90 min movie

[@StrawberryPop2805]

Btw, Joshua and his young ass wife announced they're having a baby. I genuinely think he should go to jail. 🤮🤮

[@pastelcat879]

🤮 literally disgusting

[@margaretkn12]

oh my god that poor girl and now that poor baby:( I hope they make it out of there one day

[@koiifsh]

ok i know this is serious and i definitely agree with you but the phrase "joshua and his young ass wife" is so funny out of context for no reason

[@homeland1128]

​@ville__ who?

[@kubamcmillan3078]

Begone yttp troll​@ville__

[@Zackadeles]

I find it funny how they make out these farmers to be these sad, altruistic people, like they're just personality traits and not actual human beings. It's almost like they don't actually know what a farmer does lmao, they don't just plant crops and sow them, they do plenty of other shit to that they don't even bother to dive into.

[@jacob7922]

They were like "uuuuh what do they like in the bible belt? God and corn? Make that a 2 and a half hour movie"

[@Marina-dc4bk]

Absolutely. This is more of a pro big farm movie than it is a christian movie.

[@KironX1]

My favorite thing about real farmers is how they always vote republican, which are the ones destroying farming lol.

[@Sukii_420]

​@ville__ whomp whomp

[@logemcdoge4620]

farm good, city bad

[@stotch77]

The cut to Gloria screaming in her car after seeing Christian hug the girl fucking killed me. Like why did she react THAT way??

[@bovinityleak2066]

Cuz he didn’t leave his phone in the car for her to sneak thru it.

[@jshanksffemtp]

that was unironically the best acting in the movie

[@hollyken3]

The “new tractors cost more than an average home” “OK” absolutely SENT me

[@goats_19]

The best thing about this movie is that the lead actress faked having insomnia on tiktok right before this movie came out and then was magically cured by god afterwards

[@Wasa8i2]

while i really dont like this people, id like to play devils advocate: being stressed, for example about a movie that you are playing the lead in that might do horribly, can affect your sleeping patterns and cause Insomnia, so it might be a bit more logical than it seems

[@Emmaem111]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@Wasa8i2 Yeah, I think that’s probably what happened lol. Probably stressed from the many things filming a movie would make you stressed about, had lots of trouble sleeping because of said stress, and then finally got some sleep when the cause of the stress went away and thanked god for it instead of connecting any dots

[@kalynw2490]

Also how would you know when someone fakes having insomnia? Like unless you live with someone then how would you know if they are telling the truth or not I'm not intending to start a fight just curious

[@Nyx_Fey_]

​​@@kalynw2490 It's not so much that anyone knows her exact experience, but more so that insomnia isn't something that just "goes away". That's why the replies aren't denying that she was having sleep issues, simply arguing that it most likely wasn't insomnia- and was instead a case of far more common, and less chronic, stress induced sleep issues.

[@davidlionheart2438]

@@kalynw2490 "Also how would you know when someone fakes having insomnia?".....If they're a Christian, easy: If words are coming out of their mouth they're lying.

[@gravedigginbih3227]

I’m convinced kurtis only joked about eggnog as an excuse to be naked on camera

[@loonemist]

He probably wasn't naked

[@thj_5046]

what are you talking about. how would that even work hes legit in every single one of his videos@ville__

[@Rainbowkitty09]

You can straight up see his red shorts when Eggnog popped up again at 23:15. 😂

[@neptiicism]

​@ville__ I am deeply in love with you

[@ioan.c8868]

So fair, I would love to show off my tattoos aswell

[@Motions.in.Lemonaid]

The lack of any research going into this movie on how the government or farming works…is exactly what I expected from the dude who made 2025.

[@tmartin2784]

It is hilariously wrong on how the government works, but I guess the Groomer in charge of this whole thing is German and was too busy chasing after children to glance at the wiki page for the US Gov’t.

[@langleymneely]

When Kurtis said the main character was the Secretary of Agriculture for the US I did a double take! Like it’s not a difficult thing to research. No one gets a cabinet position without getting approval from the Senate.

[@mushu_beardie2556]

@@langleymneely That plotline made me so mad. You don't just waltz into being 9th in line for the presidency "as a surprise." And yes, the Secretary of Agriculture is 9th in line for the presidency. And then having her do PR? That's not their job! I don't know what their job is, but it's not that! It's so lazy. Like, just have her be promoted to "head of PR for the USDA." Boom. That's probably a job. I didn't look it up, but at least it's not as obviously stupid.

[@jijitters]

Her being introduced at a podium like a new COO at a shareholders' meeting was crazy. Who would the person introducing her even be? The president? Just a guy in a suit?

[@_ThatW3ird0_]

Hear me out: A Christmas movie that plays out exactly like this one BUT Gloria goes into Christian’s basement and finds Eggnog a guy who has been excommunicated from the cult- I mean town. And slowly she starts to fall in love with Eggnog, they go on a little date in the basement where they both eat mice together. BUT Christian eventually finds out about they’re relationship and he decides to take away Eggnog’s privilege of coming up for Christmas this year. Anyways at the end of the movie Gloria convinces the town to rise up and take away Christian’s power, because of this revelation Eggnog is freed from the basement and Eggnog finally sees the sun, the end.

[@IStealButterdToast]

Beautiful

[@Jabadamazo]

It's pretty funny that a Christian propaganda film has a title that could easily be mistaken if said out loud for "Allah for Christmas". Glorious.

[@crunglemcbungley]

To be fair, not one person indoctrinated and white enough to appear in or enjoy a movie like this knows how to pronounce Allah correctly

[@mostHumblePersonAlive]

All this time I literally thought he was saying Allah for Christmas and I was honestly so confused

[@Palestinewillbefree0006]

💀

[@niccolapankhurst6387]

Omg I was just thinking this!

[@finalcut612]

Whatever the movie Allah for Christmas is I 100% guarantee it would be better than this movie.

[@englishmajorloser]

I love that the random "fancy lemonade" is very clearly a bottle of simply lemonade from the grocery store lmao

[@ByzantineDarkwraith]

Yeah, like… was the comment about him having seen the lemonade before a reference to that? Lol

[@strawbsbloobs]

I mean simply's good and all but when kurtis said "her finest lemonade" I expected it to be homemade? esp bc in these xmas movies everything is always a "secret family recipe"

[@blizzair]

@@ByzantineDarkwraiththat was my immediate thought lol, like it was a passive aggressive comment about how it’s a lame thing to bring to a dinner party. But considering what kind of movie this is, I’m pretty sure Kurtis had it right.

[@cnew1909]

Exactly , it is hard to put it in a glass bottle?

[@englishmajorloser]

@@strawbsbloobs maybe she's secretly the heiress to the simply lemonade fortune lol

[@The_campfire-wm]

Lowkey, I could see a movie working where a rich businesswoman goes to a small town for christmas and she falls in love with the mayor, except halfway through it's revealed that the mayor is an insane cult leader who's brainwashed the townsfolk and wont let anyone leave. Someone make my dream come true

[@kyliedunn8797]

I just worked an entire shift at my job three days before Christmas…it was hectic and very difficult but coming home and seeing that kurtis posted made it all worth it

[@Horrorbotyt]

Great job getting through the holidays! I get to watch Kurtis and have a giggle while I get ready for my shift

[@amaravazquez8591]

Watching Kurtis and enjoying some pizza on my lunch break at work.

[@kyliedunn8797]

@@Horrorbotyt I hope it goes well!!

[@leeyang3502]

NGL you are lucky. I’m working overtime over the holidays including full shifts today, tomorrow, and on Christmas Day

[@panickedshears]

I gotta work today and tomorrow 😢 Just glad I didn’t get put on the Christmas Eve shift, I would’ve been kinda pissed.

[@Gothicc666]

So disappointed in it not being called “Holiday hamhole hahaha”

[@wannabeismyuser]

I second this

[@egh__]

we should cancel him again for this

[@ephemereals]

wasnt that the christmas video last year? 😭

[@justgonnacomment]

@@egh__lmaooo I remember when he got cancelled for not giving us the extra greeting and it began TRENDING 😭

[@egh__]

@@justgonnacomment that shit was so funny man

[@ChelseaReynolds90]

Fun fact the lead actress posted on TikTok a couple months ago about severe insomnia she was having where she wouldn’t sleep for “5 days at a time” and then conveniently right before her movie comes out she goes to a tent revival and was healed of her “oppressive demons” …..

[@anna-sg3lm]

OMG ITS HER

[@bagel6669]

HUH

[@araw_buwan]

what's a tent revival?

[@Tropicanine]

idk what she means by "not sleeping" i guess a lot of people just mean they slept badly, only a few hours, not feeling rested at all. Not impossible of course, but over 3 days without sleep is already pretty detrimental. But yea she probably lied anyway. After 48h or so you mostly start hallucinating. I once was awake 55 hours idk how and it wasn´t pretty.

[@camille1324]

That’s mental health issues babeyyy

[@Silly_Rivers]

26:39 as a Christian, this is sadly true, I’m just anxious the whole time, people need to add more pictures

[@bdubbsmark]

The idea of naming twins Jeff and Jeffrey is killing me 😂

[@Hannah-zw9ow]

One of my uncles has 4 boys and they’re all named some version of his name, John

[@Kiisara18]

I was thinking the same thing! 😂

[@Artisteser]

Jeff and Jeff the second

[@aigroeg.24]

Jeff and Geoff

[@LeachZeech]

My uncle has two sons named Ralph, but they have different middle names. Not twins unfortunately

[@kyngriff]

The most realistic part of this movie is the random child just confessing her parents secrets lol

[@spookysugar]

Ah, yes, let's see that "i was bffs with a 14 year old child when i was 23 and then fell in love with her exactly when she turned 18 and not a moment before" guy's take on romance, shall we?

[@nothinghappens9811]

Right? I hate this guy.

[@panickedshears]

Yes, the exact moment the clock struck midnight on her 18th birthday he realised he was attracted to her, and not a moment before.

[@mchll7410]

he has posts of them on his Instagram from 2017 where he calls her his girlfriend she was like 15 then 🤮

[@nothinghappens9811]

@@mchll7410 Sickening

[@billbill6094]

Guys, when people say "you've been my best friend for x years" they are explicitly saying they've been together that long. Referring to your partner as your friend for many years is common. He was not being quiet or sneaky about the fact they were dating when she was 14, he was straight up saying they were dating when she was 14.

[@cookiecat6317]

5:02 To address the groo-… the room I fricking love them jokes so much

[@HumeAnn]

Why does this entire movie feel so oddly predatory? Even when I try to forget who made it, it's still makes me sick to my stomach for some reason even though nothing is happening.

[@msthecommentator2863]

Dude wasn't onscreen for more than ten minutes and they had him talking about the well-being of children. You can't write this kind of tone-deaf bull. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@bugzilly]

because it's just a framework to tell you that if you're not christian, you're a big city jerk and a terrible person, and that if you actually had any morals you would believe in christian god lol

[@HumeAnn]

@@msthecommentator2863 he just can't stop preying on- sorry praying for children I guess.

[@ellieblack8028]

and ik it was a joke but the mayor did go out of his way to like take the gifts so he could be the provider of them to the disadvantaged child who feels so lost shes talking to strangers. ..

[@HumeAnn]

@@ellieblack8028 and to make sure he was the one who gave them their gifts and not their father...yikes..

[@hnichole]

"Your daughter's toys will be great kindling for my fire" was when I lost it, I look forward to Kurtis and Drew's yearly bad Christmas movie reviews. They truly brighten the season.

[@jackiealexander92530]

@ville__good

[@gingeypie9321]

In fairness to the film, as someone from the UK, I can absolutely confirm that someone being made the secretary of an area they have zero experience/ interest in and with no interview process is 100% realistic

[@angelamaryquitecontrary4609]

It's actually a requirement, especially if it's Health or Education.

[@voidd.4095]

same for turkiye unfortunately lmao

[@moonycanwatch]

it's wild that the people in the movie could ship CDs internationally while being an underground rebel group in the middle of the pandemic but the producers couldnt do it in the real world

[@saintsomnia8030]

"Blasphemy!" "But he already blasted for you" Going to hell for laughing at that joke will be worth it.

[@chmchn]

Saaaame

[@aarasko]

see yall there 😭

[@that_one_kayla8552]

hell is a terrible place , nothing is worth going to hell for. Jesus is the way , the truth and the life ❣️

[@saintsomnia8030]

@@that_one_kayla8552 If he's gonna send me there for laughing at a joke then I don't really have much of a say in the matter.

[@SammyJay107]

Cannot stop laughing at that part of the video xD

[@DreemyDreemz]

Eggnog is definitely the best representation of "that one sibling" Ive ever seen. Anyone with siblings knows what that means.

[@cartooncrazy9883]

Oh god ive just realised im eggnog..........

[@bitefesili]

​@@cartooncrazy9883you're not eggnog if you think it's you 💀 you're some wannabe "quirky crackhead" middle schooler

[@JamesDheartsUndertale]

​@ville__that's funny lol😂

[@annajensen7360]

@ville__ "Curtis" lmao

[@OopisDoopis]

I’m eggnog I just realized This is shocking

[@cornbone]

i really thought the main conflict at the end of the movie was gonna be everyone finding out that she took the money that was supposed to go to the farmers and used it for the subway thing. but no. they just shoehorned in some completely forced conflict at the last minute instead of actually completing her character arc

[@Jupiter-T]

Yeah that's weird that it never comes back to bite her.

[@kevinsmahomie]

See that would actually be good filmmaking, which we all know these people aren't capable of making lmao

[@scaredyshibe574]

Lesson learned: if I do something terrible all I have to do is keep it a secret and it will never come back to bite me!

[@emmalaplant7865]

kurtis’s sheer exasperation throughout this whole video is so incredibly relatable 💀💀💀 like I try to be respectful to all people (as i’m sure kurtis does as well) but to see someone else point out all the mental gymnastics that these people go through to make their “point” is SO validating 💀💀💀

[@bokutosnostril5951]

I work retail as of rn and I had a lady two days ago come in and rant about how much she loves Christmas and how she made sure to plan accordingly to have December babies and proceeded to name them Christmas names 💀 I was mortified

[@bananannananana]

The Kardashians Christmas edition 🎄

[@illi6378]

Nomygod 🥲 poor kids! I can only imagine that convo- "My kids are named Frankie, after frankincense; Goldie, bc gold, and Myrrh, after 👹myrrhdur👹"

[@Tinyfrogonaleaf]

omg 😭

[@Kiisara18]

⁠@@illi6378myrrhdur 😂😂😂

[@illi6378]

@@Kiisara18 👹❣️ myrrh fyrrhvorite

[@Itcouldbebunnies]

"Why can't I make friends with a 14-year old and then celebrate her 18th birthday by proposing to her? That's not weird at all! It's a perfectly normal, traditional courting practice." - people who call every LGBT+ person a groomer

[@alycefrench5753]

It's called projection lol

[@kalynw2490]

Every conservative accusation is a confession

[@galaxyocicat5660]

@@kalynw2490 for real

[@Itcouldbebunnies]

@@thezplayer3002 It's a classical case of grooming, dude. Make "friends" with them while they're still a child in order to shape them into your perfect little plaything, then ask them to marry you on their 18th birthday. Disgusting.

[@whoareyou1464]

Oh, you know, with those types of people. The call is always coming from inside the house.

[@edibleshoe8713]

Ya'll imagine Jesus coming back and seeing a shit ton of crosses everywhere and then having PTSD.

[@Marmar-no6]

And then imagine being his therapist and having to sit through all of the bible lore “It’s all started in Jerusalem…” 😂

[@edibleshoe8713]

@@Marmar-no6 💀

[@lightofthecolossus]

I do now. Thank you.

[@lucystylinson-fanaccount]

Lmfao

[@hadesisbaby]

Now imagine commenting something oringal

[@icel8828]

“Ministry department” is such a funny word It’s like saying “corporate company”

[@wariodedede]

"I haven't seen real snow like this in years." While walking on beds of cotton has to be the most unintentionally funny line I've ever heard.

[@flauschiger_keks]

I would love to learn about Eggnogg‘s backstory. He seems to be the most interesting guy there. How did he end up in the walls? What does he do between christmas and christmas?

[@ciphergacha9100]

Eating rats and opposing Christian Baker from what Kurtis has said so far

[@Xxluna_werewolfxX]

I headcanon eggnog actually burrows out of the walls and only comes back to the basement when they’re looking

[@The_Eevee_Breeder]

@@ciphergacha9100 mice and rats are different things. fake eggnog fan.

[@yuki97kira]

We dont talk about eggnogg

[@oMuStiiA]

I think they made a movie about him called Encanto.

[@ameliasmith6689]

i fucking love the scene of this child appearing from nowhere and delivering a story that just happens to be perfectly relevant to the main character's situation (11:15 ish) that kid was a government agent

[@Random-sk6hm]

god works in mysterious ways 🏥⛑

[@Fermin-hw5pd]

Is this what they call a plot device?

[@brkh96]

​@@Fermin-hw5pd 🫴🏼🦋

[@angelamaryquitecontrary4609]

She also had her woolly hat on back to front. Trust me, I'm a qualified knitter.

[@konpeito-is-tired]

@@angelamaryquitecontrary4609the child equivalent to wearing your hat backwards; she’s such a rebel

[@waltascher]

The fact that they send the Secretary of Agriculture to make some social media posts and then she leaves that job a week later for her “dream job” makes me think the writer believes cabinet secretaries are literal administrative assistants.

[@inapickle806]

Lol. Yes!

[@moniquemoen7125]

Do the people who wrote this movie think the Secretary of Agriculture is a literal 'secretary'? Like an administrative assistant? Why is she making the movie??

[@cupriferouscatalyst3708]

They called it the "ministry department" earlier, so I wouldn't be surprised tbh

[@angelamaryquitecontrary4609]

​@@cupriferouscatalyst3708Let's hope she can make it to Minister of Ministries. Fingers crossed!

[@florakores]

can the law for christmas be a law protecting children from joshua?

[@negligible_reality]

FR!!! 😭

[@Militant_Vegan]

Shipping something to an American friend and getting them to ship that item to u because the company doesn’t ship outside of America is truly a thing

[@cosmosisrose]

I’ve had to order stuff from KOREA to my American friend to get it in the UK. it’s not even just American companies doing it 😭

[@Alextruong0912]

NerdECrafter has done that multiple timesand she's also in Canada. It's definitely a thing!

[@Rachely24]

My parents Canadian friend orders stuff to their house all the time and then just randomly drops by to pick it up lmao (we're right by the border)

[@scrawnytony3174]

I think my favorite detail is that she considers the position that the Vice President offers her. She is SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE. That is the TENTH highest position in the entire US executive branch, leaving only five other positions between herself and the vice president, excluding positions that are only achieved through roles in congress. So unless she just got offered one of those five positions (Secretary of State, the Treasury, Defense, Interior, or Attorney General), she is all excited about a position that is objectively worse than the one she already has.

[@jonathannoble7845]

I know this is a relatively minor complaint, but the Secretary of Agriculture would have a bigger staff than that. Also, getting a Secretary position requires a month long interview and background check process, followed by appearing before the Senate and having them vote on whether or not you get the job.

[@tomcruise_77]

Kurtis, honestly I was debating whether to buy the comedy special, but then I watched this video. Eggnog boy really inspired me. I saw what he does for himself and for others. Living so graciously in the walls, and setting a great example for the next generation. His honorable character and commitment to comedic relief made me buy the special, and a signed poster. Thank you eggnog boy 🙏

[@Man-ej6uv]

thx tom

[@noof5186]

I feel like Christian comes off culty because the creators have no frame of reference for a popular person except for a sinister, powerful man

[@negligible_reality]

that checks out honestly

[@babyvia6712]

Holy shit

[@silkplayer9]

Check out their “creator”, the demiurge.

[@nahilhamam]

woah... accurate

[@tetsupannn]

I'm almost 19 and I would never even consider dating a 14 year old. I can't imagine being 20 something and looking at a 14 year old that way.. so gross

[@jascha8681]

I'm 23 and even 18 years sounds already too young. 14 is absolutely horror.

[@nihilisticnirvana]

I'm 17 and I don' even like 17 year olds

[@KingNerdius]

I’m Chris Hansen and would like Joshua to have a seat right over their

[@supposedlymel]

when Kurtis talked about the groomer I was like, "shes probably pregnant now." and yeah. she posted one month ago that they're expecting 💀

[@lillieblue]

​@ville__Loser

[@otakuinred]

God has abandoned us

[@elizabethr.9359]

Jesus fucking Christ

[@goodneighborsw]

@ville__get a life

[@Sarah.H5]

​@ville__ maybe if you want people to listen to you don't be a massive misogynist yeah?

[@StelenaVD]

Christian obviously needed the little girl toys to lure his next girlfriend. Thank God it worked out with the main adult character.

[@Wasa8i2]

dear god, it all makes sense now... or it would if that wasnt an insane thing to do

[@Aahhabdnd]

KURTIS YOURE ONE OF MATTPATS FAVORITE KZbinRS OH MY GOD

[@Aqua.o]

I JUST WATCHED THE VIDEO AND NOTICED THIS

[@Aahhabdnd]

@@Aqua.oTWAS CRAZY

[@NessShrug-yq9lk]

wdym?

[@balls_gaming]

@@NessShrug-yq9lk in matpats goodbye internet video, he showed how a bunch of the youtubers he loves reference his "just a theory" catchphrase, and kurtis was one of them

[@Evan-nf8ep]

Bro only a Christian movie could take the concept of being kind to someone down on their luck and make it like "MAN, that was hard but I'm just SO SELFLESS for GOD that I gave those kids back their toys for FREE."

[@Jaelynthemaelyn]

Kurtis may not be pregnant but he always delivers

[@KelFromTheHitIndieGameOmori]

no he is most certainly pregnant

[@Jaelynthemaelyn]

@@KelFromTheHitIndieGameOmori when was the announcement??? 😱

[@RealKellinQuinn]

@@KelFromTheHitIndieGameOmori can’t wait for the pregnancy video!! Wishing him luck through his journey 🙏

[@solocup9565]

stop reposting this stupid comment

[@aoife4128]

not if i intervene

[@Spring-Locked]

I think we can all agree that the best character was Eggnog.

[@langleymneely]

I nearly choked to death from laughing at that!😂

[@nicolaofmiddlewest159]

By "best character", do you mean just in this video, or "of all time"? Anyway, in either case, I agree with you.

[@nicolaofmiddlewest159]

@ville__ No, he doesn't, you weird little man. You have one post, and it's a placeholder for boring old, regular hate speech. Kurtis didn't steal it, borrow it, look at it, or even know of its existence.

[@Mookywoo]

⁠@ville__bro you’re a bot you don’t have any content

[@oreozzzzz]

Omg so true 😂

[@avidreader4719]

maybe the lemonade looked familiar because it's the most generic lemonade brand in the world

[@kameryn2918]

What’s killing me is when Gloria is up all night working to help the farmers, she’s wearing pajamas that I own 😂 I guess the costume budget wasn’t that great

[@jg2358]

She took your pajamas?!?!??! Wtf we gotta call 911

[@kameryn2918]

@@jg2358 😭😭

[@davidking4838]

I hope they at least washed and returned your pajamas.....

[@archdemons]

reminds me of when i was watching some show on disney channel and a girl was wearing a target shirt that i also owned

[@Wasa8i2]

@@archdemons man we gotta stand up against these actors, they are taking shirts and pajamas from innocent people's closets in the dead of night just for their roles.

[@keilywolff4053]

i think it’s rlly funny how she looked shocked at the word “secretary” instead of “agriculture” when that’s what they probably told her to do💀

[@Random-sk6hm]

''Me, a secretary? Oh heavens no''

[@sannakarvinen531]

Eggnog is definitely the most unhinged character Kurtis has ever created

[@Immortalcheese]

Wouldn't a better conflict have been someone digs up Gloria skimping out the farmer's funds for subway wifi?? I thought that would come back into relevance

[@lettucepersonguy6868]

You can always trust that a movie is going to be good when the producer posts pictures with the caption “finally 18”

[@soaphope3398]

I want to puke

[@yourfavoritetransgender]

Maybe he did not has found jesus🤷

[@ghoultooth]

⁠​⁠@@yourfavoritetransgenderWhat are you even yapping about

[@genericname2747]

@@yourfavoritetransgender He needs to watch his own movie

[@Asm0d3u5]

@@yourfavoritetransgender I like your pfp!

[@graeson3317]

I can't help but point out that pretty much every main character in a Christmas movie wears concealer like 3 shades to light and a yellow undertone. Weird ass connection i know and it drives me nuts

[@hellodestructor2277]

This has been killing me with low budget stuff and Netflix films alike. Everyones face and neck look totally different and it's distracting.

[@uuh4yj43]

​​@@hellodestructor2277 this is probably due to the fact that they always put a warm weird filter over the footage of christmas movies and such, which messes with the saturation balance and makes something (that probably looked fine irl and in the raw footage) get like that. its not like suddenly people will forget how to do make-up, they just dont know what they are doing make-up for. the editing team doesnt know the make-up team etc etc, probably bc they are independent contractors, in bigger budget movies its much less common due to these having a much more cohesive production process and production staff being in-house or at least the person managing being an employee or at the very least supervised by someone who is.

[@theformidableartist9623]

18 yr old wife and 27 yr old groom? More like Child Wife and Groomer 💀.

[@negligible_reality]

and you just know that he's the type of guy to falsely accuse literally every queer person ever of being groomers simply for existing and minding their business, meanwhile he's an adult man picking his girlfriend up from the local high school 💀

[@FamChan123]

​@@negligible_realityHe became "friends" with her when she was fourteen. She could have been an eighth grader.

[@queenofmoons720]

Hey now, it’s perfectly reasonable for a middle schooler to have a completely platonic, non exploitative relationship with someone who’s just graduated with their bachelors. It’s all in gods plan 🙏

[@PotatoWaffle-sl4xf]

⁠@@queenofmoons720 of course, plus plus plus 🖕, even if there was a relationship between them at this time, it’s fine because girls mature faster than boys so basically the same level of emotional intelligence 🤷‍♀️

[@aarasko]

@@queenofmoons720🤨

[@iLoveWater110]

3:51 It kind of sounds like "Allah for Christmas."

[@SuperEman500]

That would be a awesome movie

[@charlesbradshaw5183]

Lol

[@tomatazoo]

That lemonade skit was WAY too good, it had like 4 turns, the blasfemy part did it for me

[@mrsmi1ey]

the blasphemy joke was INSANE

[@daryllverstraeten9459]

that was so unfunny

[@dramuah4891]

@@daryllverstraeten9459funny*

[@brylee9318]

@@daryllverstraeten9459Fr I love kurtis but mocking other ppl religion is weird

[@ra1ne1sm]

@@brylee9318 he makes fun of christians in like so many of videos lmao just dont watch if u dont like it

[@ingeborgolder1102]

They could have just hoped no one would really notice the unbelievably garbage fake snow but no, they had to include the line "I haven't seen real snow like this in years" and that's probably the funniest thing I've ever seen

[@chadjones1266]

Giving important positions to people with no experience is how conservatives think it's supposed to go.

[@DavidRYates-tk2tq]

Pretty sure it's how that usually goes already. Like, it's not hypothetical or uncommon at all.

[@tacenda3250]

No, I'm pretty sure the conservative ideal is a meritocracy

[@MizterMissile]

​@@tacenda3250oh yeah, that's actually true. It's just that their standard for merit = wealth/capital. As well as class solidarity. They don't want rich people who are interested in making the world better for everyone, because the poors don't deserve it. If they did, they wouldn't be poor! ) Plus, capitalism depends upon maintaining an impoverished underclass. Such merit, so humanitarian.

[@tacenda3250]

@@MizterMissile I consider myself to be conservative, and I disagree with your description. Most wealthy people are self made, after all. Furthermore, capitalism benefits when poor people are wealthy, as that allows all classes to prosper. If poor people have money, they can buy more products from rich people.

[@hnichole]

@@tacenda3250 While *technically* true that most millionaires (or higher) are self-made, a lot of those studies rely on outright asking these people if they are self-made or inherited wealth (which most people will answer a certain way, since that's akin to asking if you're a disciplined, hardworking person or if you just lucked out) and doesn't take into account their social background at all. Even if you didn't inherit a million dollars, if you have parents with the means to send you to prestigious schools, invest in your business ideas, or offer you networking connections, it's going to be a lot easier to be a "self-made" wealthy person, even if you didn't inherit a dime. I'm not trying to be hostile towards you, specifically, but this general mindset is what turned me away from my conservative upbringing. In my experience, conservatives have a tendency to throw nuance out the window. What conservatives say and what they actually do in reality are too dissonant for me, personally.

[@breademojiwheatemoji4003]

i’m **17** and already the idea of dating a 14-year-old is 🤢🤮

[@Scriblyn]

I'm 18 and probably wouldn't even date a 16 year old

[@OffensiveExistence]

​@@Scriblynthat's only a 2 year age difference what? 💀

[@Scriblyn]

@@OffensiveExistence it's not about the age gap, it's the maturity gap. I'm on my way to college and getting a job... I just feel like there are a lot of developments made in your brain and attitude on life during these times. A 2 year difference is totally harmless, it's just my own preference at this stage in my life. I won't stop anyone from dating someone with only a 2 year age gap if that's just how it ends up being

[@OffensiveExistence]

@@Scriblyn ok I get that, but the problem is I've seen my friend called a pedo when he dated a girl who was ONE YEAR younger than him which is wild

[@Scriblyn]

@@OffensiveExistence Nah that's definitely wild, only a year?? That's literally like the same age

[@noratsuki42]

Kurtis talking about a random side character he came up with on the spot named "Eggnog" was so spontaneous and absurd. Like, what? huh??? The only thing I can think of as to why Kurtis mentioned this is that he IS Eggnog. Think about it; Kurtis has mentioned that he likes eggnog before, and who would like a drink called eggnog more than a person named Eggnog? Kurtis is a name HE created. His parents named him Eggnog, and he legally changed his name to Kurtis to separate himself from his past. And what was his past? Exactly what he described Eggnog's life to be like in the video. 23:19 is a metaphor. Eggnog is a metaphor for Kurtis' past self, and how he has changed. Kurtis' remark about Eggnog having to go back into the basement is another metaphor for how Kurtis hides his past from the public because he doesn't want people to judge him. I have you all figured out, Kurtis.

[@GeraldTheFrogg]

Exactly - what kind of a name is Kurtis? it’s spelt with a c smh

[@noratsuki42]

​​​@@GeraldTheFrogg EXACTLY! And he didn't know how it was spelt because he grew up in a basement. He just liked how it sounded, and tried his best when it came to spelling.

[@sadiethecatlady]

@@GeraldTheFroggmy cousins name is conner (yes spelled like that)

[@SofaDogDog]

@@noratsuki42no YOU are eggnog

[@noratsuki42]

@@SofaDogDog nuh uh

[@mayapapaya02]

the “my dad was a little bitch this whole time” joke is so good omg 😭