HELP! Am I weird for not wanting to engage in penetrative sex?

[@jeangenie1240]

Since the phrase 'side' was coined it has made it easier to share ones preferences. If only couples would talk to each other and not compare their relationship with anyone else's.

[@romaneros4583]

I couldn't agree more. And porn sets standards that we all don't necessarily have to live up to.

[@KerryLuckett]

IKR

[@bikerpaul68]

Thanks for telling me about "sides". I'm definitely a side but I never knew there was a word for it! And, believe me, there are more of us than you might think.

[@davidwiseman7774]

Definitely true for me

[@marcos-ll2yr]

Yeah I'm too

[@Jpoy213]

I don’t think a relationship should be built around sex it is built around love and affection

[@davidserlin8097]

Disagree. You’re not best friends, you’re lovers and what you do in bed matters. Love and affection is great, but it can only get you so far when you are an adult with desires and fantasies.

[@bravobr9725]

No relationship should ever be built purely on sex, as either one or both of you is going to be very disappointed, as said above, it's about, love, affection, respect of each other, wanting to wake up each morning with that man you love so much.

[@mkphilly]

​@@davidserlin8097your opinion only. The foundation of a relationship is what works for the people involved.

[@anjong1234]

When sex is good, it is 5% of the relationship but when sex isn't good, it becomes 95% of relationship..

[@iworkout6912]

@@bravobr9725 I agree, if its only a pure sexual relationship it probably isn't going to last the test of time. I have seen very few of those relationships last and if it includes marriage, it might last forever. Divorce lawyers are making good money handling these things.

[@tmsohk]

Yes it is called side, I am a side. I've been struggling in my gay friends circle since seems no one understand me. Glad that these years I know many people like me exist thanks to the internet.

[@geoffdavies4716]

I have been with my now husband for 27yrs (married 14 yrs ago) and we too have never engaged in anal/penetrative sex. It's something neither one of us has had an inclination for. There any numerous other ways we enjoy each others bodies !! I too was in a similar situation as Keegan and was in a hetrosexual marriage for a number of years before I grew the balls to come out of the closet. And I have 3 beautiful daughters (I'm a daughter dad) and 5 grandchildren. That's to say I have had 'normal' sex, highly overrated......lol I am now retired as a Staff Nurse from our local Hospital. Getting round to saying during my time there I read an published article on what percentage of gay men do not engage anal/penetrative sex. I was surprised, as probably you will be, that some 30% of gay men fall into that category. So not as uncommon as we may all think. keep the up your great work on the channel.

[@greenvortex7]

Very much agreed...there are numerous ways to enjoy each others bodies and say this to others all the time. To me if you in tune with someone it should have to matter that you "have to have" penetrative because it is about connection. Alas as science tells us sex happens in the brain anyways it is only performed below the waist. I have had relationships as well that have been complete non - penetrative sex. Many congrats to your relationship that you all have found that connection and joy with each other sexually and of course that is only part of any relationship. Keep shining and best wishes to your family and the adventures in life ahead....keep shining.

[@davidserlin8097]

I think there is a generational dimension to this. I came out in the mid 80s at the height of the AIDS pandemic. We were so terrified about HIV transmission (and saw so many of our friends sick or dying) that there was fear of engaging any kind of sexual activity, let alone anal sex. For years many of us got through just with hand and mouth, the latter usually involving a condom. I’ve met many men of my generation who had the exact same experience, and if they did eventually bottom it was not until years later. PrEP is a very new drug compared to the 43 years of the history of AIDS.

[@davidwiseman7774]

So true. Safe sex was all there was.

[@UnionAdvocate]

When I turned 18 in ‘94 this my experience as well as a gay man. I entered adulthood during what was the worst time for AIDS deaths. Even the thought of a condom breaking kept me from going anywhere near anal. By then we knew oral was lesser risk, but still, viral loads were not being suppressed in anyone infected. Sadly, the history you and I lived through is slowly being forgotten by Gen-Z.

[@tatsf]

I agree that there is a generational element to this. I came out in my teens in the mid 70s, pre-AIDS. Even then, I had little to no interest in anal sex in either direction. Since I was young I occasionally endured bottoming as that's what my partners wanted, but never enjoyed it. As GRID/AIDS hit the scene in the very early 80s sexuality for gay men did seem to change, and by the mid to late 80s many of us engaged exclusively in oral, manual, and kink sex. Places like SF Jacks and Blow Buddies flourished. Mid 90s I sero-converted (but wasn't having anal sex) and slowly started tentatively engaging as a top sometimes once the cocktails were working for folks. I would consider myself predominantly a side.

[@iworkout6912]

I lost many, many friends during that time. I think back to those days as being terrible to get a phone call and the person on the other end is crying. Or going to a bar (I drink a coke, or one rum and coke) and so many are missing, knowing why they aren't there anymore.

[@JoeKort]

I coined the term “side” and am so proud of us all for coming out. We have 8000 guys in our private Facebook group side guys. Thank you for talking about this!

[@MattBurlingame]

Our show gets this question, too. It's more common than adult videos would have us believe. LOL. Great video, guys! 😃❤

[@JoFourie]

Another "side" here from South Africa. This is the first time I hear of this term and what a relief to learn that I'm not the only one out there. This has always been a cause of anxiety resulting in me spending most of my life single. Hopefully if this topic is discussed more the more accepting it will become. Thank you for this clip guys and warmest greetings from South Africa. 😊🇿🇦❤

[@shanedorival3177]

There are all types of gay. We all have our preferences. Who cares, as long as you communicate and only do things you both consent to and enjoy….. All the best from Melbourne Australia.

[@vonbawasanta9033]

I have been a side in my entire life (I never topped and I never bottomed). I meet my boyfriend and I was hesitant to be with him at first because he's a total/toppest top. He keeps saying that it's fine and he's not the type who leaves sides behind. He even said that side sex is a lot and better than topping. He's my first and still is my boyfriend and I'm his first side boyfriend and we're getting stronger than before

[@Harry-fk5of]

Not interested in penetrative sex and never have been. Tried it once and it felt like constipation and it was uncomfortable and kinda nasty. But no judgment at all, people can do what they like.

[@rkeller8141]

I haven’t seen the two of you for awhile. Your enjoyment of each other has increased over the years, and very pleasing.

[@Michael_Livingstone]

I’m shocked to hear that there are other gay guys out there who aren’t into butt stuff! I assumed I’m the only one hence why I’m single (among other things). My experience is that if I get a guy to talk to me (my looks are undesirable in the gay community), once I state I’m not into butt stuff, I’m immediately discarded.

[@okorochukwunonso2563]

You matter. You look valid because you're here living. All the best.

[@EphemeralProductions]

Sad. 😢 sorry to hear dear. Big hugs!

[@FindAReason-mi7go]

I was generally attracted to straight looking guys, and I never had any relationship with those types of guys because they would take me out, or we would meet somewhere, and as soon as they said that they enjoyed topping or bottoming, I lost my attraction to them.

[@reggie90009]

I am going crazy over Keegan's accent! And that mischievious look when he's about to say something a little "naughty". And the corresponding glimmer of aprehension on Joel's face as if he's not sure what Keegan is about to say. I love this interaction between them on this site. Keep it up. [ I apologize for being a "fan boy" for a few minutes. But I just had to let it out.]

[@EphemeralProductions]

I like it too! It is charming cute and funny! :) ☺️

[@MISTER_SBAD]

Glad to see more discussions about sides. Communication is so important in all relationships and so is sexual compatibility.

[@kennixox262]

We agree: Anal sex is not for my husband or me. We'll take a huge pass on that! We do enjoy watching it on the occasional porn video - the good vintage stuff. It really comes down to the people who are into that scene or not. My advise is NOT to be pressured into it. If one is curious, I would recommend experimenting with play toys and see how that goes. My marriage is centered around love and partnership - sex is like the cherry on tope of the cake.

[@FindAReason-mi7go]

I am a conservative gay person. I remember when I was young, a guy took me home and asked me to do it to him and I honestly found the idea repulsive, not in a straight way because I have never had any attraction to females. I think that I insulted him with my expression. I mean, prep or no prep it was never something that I could do.

[@willjoseph1472]

In Texas,I am seeing that some groups are forming that focus strictly on masturbation. These groups are actively welcoming people who identify as Sides. Some groups are very diverse and even welcome trans men into the fold. It has a high appeal with those who consider themselves Sides because they completely rule out any kind of oral or anal sex (No lips below the hips) and strictly stick to masturbation and touching if given consent. It seems to really quell the anxieties that some men have about disease transmission and of course the more complicated sex acts in particularly ….the bumming! Lol

[@boredutopia]

I did not want to do it for very long time coz of various reasons. Until I met the right guy who understood it and did not push it. Well after 2 years with him I was like I could try it and I did. Now i can be labeled as verse. But there is no way for me to go on dating up and just hook up with random person and be top or bottom. I realised I need time to feel safe with someone to be able to do it. And to feel safe I need time and need to know person..

[@ericallen7737]

What the poster is referring to is called being a "side". There is a large community of "sides" that feel the same as the poster and dating apps are now adding it as an option when looking for a sexual partner.

[@Ben-jq5oo]

✅

[@mattconcertlife]

Side nation we rise! 🫡

[@zoozyg3108]

Indeed ❤

[@Dragonmoon1598]

"Butt Stuff" is a preference. It is not limited to gender or sexual orientation. Some people enjoy it some people don't. As someone who is a germaphobe and also falls on the demi/ace (sex-interested) spectrum. I'm not opposed to the idea with the right partner. But, if I met someone not interested in that activity, I would be fine also. Because I know what I'm comfortable with and my boundaries and understand the importance of respecting theirs. Sex is an important aspect of a relationship. But, it is not the most important aspect. And I feel, more clearly, it depends on the couple and how they approach it. Not the act itself. We are fed this default belief that all men care about is sex (or it's very high on their priority list). For some men, yes that is true. For a variety of reasons. And, yes it may cause you to find a smaller dating pool if you aren't all gung ho for sex time. But, that simply means you know one thing you are looking for specifically in a partner (assuming that's the goal) it doesn't mean, as the video title states, you are broken or there's something wrong with you. Sex is a big step for several people. What's important, as was also stated, is that everyone is legal/consent is given, you feel safe, and you find the experience enjoyable. If any of these things are missing, you don't do it. And if the person you're with isn't okay with that. Then you leave. Because if they are more worried about themselves and their pleasure in such a vulnerable moment, they don't deserve you. But, most importantly, there isn't anything wrong with you, because you know your limitations and what you find comfortable or enjoyable. You, in no way shape, or form, give up your anonymity because you are with someone romantically. Nor do they have any right to strip that away from you. "I love you," marriage, or whatever, doesn't give someone access to you. So, in short, just because you don't adhere to a majority, doesn't mean anything more than you are part of a minority.

[@robertschwartz4810]

I wonder if you in the UK have a good sex advice "columnist"? We in the US have Dan Savage who, with his column and podcast, dispenses sage, non judgemental advice, weekly. You guys are doing a wonderful job dispensing thoughtful advice, though, so thank you.

[@leightonolsson4846]

I know the great Armistead Maupin said he did not ever wish to engage in the practice, for political reasons as much as any other - he felt it was an 'impersonation' of heterosexual sex. Not sure I agree but I think can see what he was alluding to.

[@jaynoir8937]

Honestly for the longest time I thought it was just me. I definitely have the mindset of a bottom, never wanted to top. But actually doing it does Nothing for me, toys or otherwise. Used to think I was just born with a defective prostate or something, but yeah definitely identify as a side.

[@VisionsandRevisions]

Used to put up with it because I thought I had to, but I never really enjoyed. So now I don’t.

[@timward3116]

Not having a**l is how I avoided HIV and a lifetime of expensive prescription drugs. But I suppose some people are willing to play roulette with their health and lives for a temporary physical sensation.

[@timward3116]

@NickAtNightOKC You may be too young to remember what it was like to be gay in the 1980s and 1990s. This was before the "coctail" - and condoms were deemed not necessarily safe. I had "friends" whom I wouldn't see at the bars for a few weeks or months, and I would ask, "Whatever happened to ...?" The response would something like, "He got bad news" and we both knew what that meant. And I spent decades working in quality operations in the drug industry, so I don't blindly trust it. Paranoia? Missing out? Nyah. Just common sense and personal responsibility. I try to avoid having to trust strangers with my life, nor do I think my "rights" revolve around a a dark hole. I take personal responsibility, and there are many things and people in life that are intrinsically much more important than a greed for a temporary sensation. Got it, Einstein?

[@davidkentlondon]

I had the same result from using condoms all through the 90s.

[@timward3116]

@@davidkentlondon Consider yourself lucky. Regardless, it isn't as though a*al is some great accomplishment. It isn't any accomplishment at all.

[@m.gattus-reinhart845]

​@NickAtNightOKCEver heard of asking questions before jumping to conclusions. To each their own for their reasons. Maybe you're the one who missed out on a different experience than the average hook-up.

[@meeksuh6991]

Glad you guys brought this up. I definitely struggled with my sexuality for a long time because I was grossed out by butt stuff. Recently learned about intercrural sex and that was mind blowing to me (basically a thigh-job).

[@gdok6088]

'Peas out' to you too Keegan! Or was it P's out?! Seriously I love your West Yorkshire accent Keegan :) And Joel's accent is a good contrast! You guys are great :)

[@cybergriz]

y'all are so fun and relaxed. love these videos.

[@jm7804]

Anal is tricky because both people have to know what they're doing or it's a highly uncomfortable experience. Bad oral is just kind of blah. It's not going to turn you off oral.

[@bravobr9725]

Anal sex is really only uncomfortable when you are not ready for it ! If you have talked it through with your other half about what you expect and time is taken, it can be the best experience of your life. If someone just tries to enter you like a bull in a China shop, then that is going to hurt like crazy. A lot of people have no idea how painful it can be when forced or you are treated like a piece of meat. Where as, if you are treated like the lover you are, the fulfilment (no pun intended) can be so amazing for both.

[@geoffryallan7261]

What about a finger massaging the prostate - it really works

[@wendypoole7041]

V interesting and so true. 🤔 consensual, legal, safe can be used for all aspects of human interaction not just sex

[@ercrapa75]

do they have laryngitis? Or did the botox freeze the larynx as well?

[@MichaelPhillipsatGreyOwlStudio]

Coincidentally, I'm a 55-year-old gay man and I've never had it either. I've always been a 'side' though back in my day there was no such term for us. Subconsciously, I wonder if it might have something to do with growing up during the AIDS crisis and being constantly advised to have safe sex. I mean, I was just becoming aware of my sexuality literally as the news was breaking across the world. But I don't know if there's a reason or not. Honestly I just never had an interest.

[@greenvortex7]

Well agreed, I will b 54 this year and so know the aspect of such growing up during that time as a teen. I came out at 15 in '85 so was well aware of all safe practices needed during the height of things. Suffice to say, it was just something I always enjoyed but in my relationships in my 20s were penetrative sex which was fine and great but knew what I preferred. I would often try grinding on top of my partners to see and get a feel for if they enjoyed and could tell if they did not enjoy it. Once I entered my 30s I had an experience where I had just begun dating someone and so did that whilst making out and on top of him and well let;s just say he "released" hot damn ...I said to myself we got one LOL. As we dated for some time we were 95% non-penetrative the other 5 he was more bottom and that worked for me. After that relationship, I knew there was no going back and so would make sure to put that at the top or near the top of any dating profile whilst on Match or Okcupid. We just called it "bump n Grind" years later learned of the word Frot aka Frottage and guess now there is a new term which is more encompassing such as "side". And true it is the safer sex, but even then as a side or into Frot it is only safe if in clothing and not touch genetalia. But that is also great about Frot is that you can enjoy yourself even while clothed or in undergarments....so many options for creativity.

[@JoFourie]

I've just learnt of the term "sides" and to be honest I think us guys (50+ of age) lived through and saw what AIDS was all about and lost so many friends because of it, that penetrative sex, subconsciously scared the living hell out of us, or at least me for that matter. Subsequently it has lead to living a single life but hopefully now that I know I'm not the only one with this preference, I'll meet someone to spend the "golden years"😜 with.

[@m.gattus-reinhart845]

I'm 41 and fucking was never the thing for me. Even in porn, it's a turn off. Luckily there's no right or wrong or prerequisite. My husband can do without just as much.

[@MichaelPhillipsatGreyOwlStudio]

@@m.gattus-reinhart845 I'm also quite a bit demisexual. I have to have something of an emotional connection in order to give myself permission to have sex. This is also something for which no term existed in my younger days. These are difficult deficits for a gay man.

[@gregbell3559]

Your not weird, my stepson is gay and he's the same. That's a personal decision if love someone deeply then that can come up but that particular sexual act is only for people who deeply love each other

[@MrAndyboo]

Think that I am a side as well. I mean I’ve topped and stuff, and dated bottoms. But I really just enjoy the other stuff more for some reason.

[@simongoodwin5253]

It's hard work to be a passive, gay man. There's so much cleaning involved , so spontaneous sex is difficult unless you respect your partner. Great video. Slightly tipsy me-thinks xx

[@calvindavis3641]

Yet, spontaneous, be that it may, happens frequently, despite that issue of being ready or not. And quite the hottest moment, I hereby testify. Never an incident, luckily, probably those times when the person knew not to go there. Then explain in 25 ways why it's not rejection. One would want to know not just why, but how. Regardless, being spontaneous, it happens.

[@davidserlin8097]

Porn definitely makes it seem as if being a bottom requires nothing more than showing up. If only!

[@manuelveidst4869]

I SO agree. Being a bottom requires military discipline honestly. Spontaneity forget it. It’s just not possible. Are we supposed to walk around with a douche integrated in our hole? It’s just soooo much work…. Still worth it. But so much work.

[@davidkentlondon]

@@manuelveidst4869honestly, that’s a very recent phenomenon. Sure, make sure you go to the loo a couple hours before and be aware of what you are eating on the day…. But aside from that, I had loads of sex in the 90s that were spontaneous and without mishap. But I’m happily more side now. It’s a recent thing that you have to douche and starve and all that.

[@Person-mh6xq]

@@calvindavis3641what?!

[@EmilieSagae]

Everyone glosses over the fact that penetrative anal sex in both genders contributes to fecal incontinence. The Markland study shows this. I think that should be a factor in deciding whether, or how often, to engage in anal sex.

[@iworkout6912]

I watch some porn and see young guys taking very large ones. All I can think about is by the time they are 50 or so they will be wearing a diaper.

[@EphemeralProductions]

Unless you do exercises of the area. Called kegels. :). Both women and men can do them.

[@loveshinealight]

05:18 - Good point Joe! The Daily "Hate" (As I call it) knows nothing. You and Keegan are spot on! x

[@heatherspence3848]

I have never heard the word Bumming’ it actually sounds very polite but cheeky. Sending love to you and yours from Orlando, Florida.

[@EphemeralProductions]

I love how you just casually slid in the “adult words” Joel! lol. It was funny and I didn’t expect it (despite the warning) because you’re usually so Britishly proper! lol. I thought it was cute and funny. Hope I’m making sense with that!

[@damaclese2]

There have been loads of studies on the subject, contrary to popular belief anal sex amongst gay men is a minority yeah I know everyone’s gonna jump on me about that more people don’t do it then do and if you want to look up, the stats are tons of studies done by universities on the subject, even amongst gay men who have been in long-term relationshipsanal sex is less common than you might think

[@orielwiggins2225]

Another Important topic and great handling of it guys. Thanks to Burtis for being willing to share his experience and get this convo going. Right on that sex has so much more to offer than just penetration. And there are endless ways to engage with your partner(s) outside that that are not only pleasant, but super erotic and stimulating, and often folks find they enjoy them much more than penetration, tho like you said, you'd never know it from media. Communication is key, and even that can be sexy and extremely fun. Sex therapists often "prescribe" avoiding penetration for a set time to encourage and expand all partners deepening experience of intimate pleasure with each other. And it seems to be for good reason, since it's highly successful at just that, often bringing the partners closer and deepening their own confidence and relationships outside the bedroom as well.

[@carlhenderson9483]

Excellent blog cx

[@lawrenceharris7369]

Yep! Sides is the name.

[@kenlundmich]

One of my friends who is also gay has expressed the opinion that unless you do anal, you haven’t had sex. I feel like I’m a closeted side with him now and he would judge me for not doing that kind of sex.

[@PaladinesAngel]

I didn’t want to for many many years. Now I love it. Never say never. But it’s all good. Sex is just for having a good time. If you are having a good time and it’s absolutely consensual don’t worry about it

[@AVIANCEMILAN]

Not weird at all. ❤

[@escooter1]

it is called "side"

[@tomemberton1546]

I actually know some straight couples who don't particularly like sex. They had sex only to have kids. Outside of that they do like to cuddle & kiss. They have been together for a long time & raised 2 kids. Awesome.

[@Dcrow1970]

I consider myself a side, I think it stems from being in the military and mainly using gloryholes while, "Don't ask don't tell" was going on. I see alot of sides on grindr lately.

[@damianleah6744]

You are definitely not weird for knowing your own mind sexually. It’s what makes us all individuals.

[@simongoodwin5253]

Bumming??? LOL! Keiron...You are so West Yorkshire! 😅😂🤣

[@FindAReason-mi7go]

I think it is pronounced "booming".

[@ForgeMasterXXL]

I’d add that penetration is not the whole menu when enjoying yourself with a partner. People need to remember that there is often a great section of navigating each others pleasures when you first meet and indeed every time you and your partner have sex. It’s called foreplay. So what if someone enjoys the foreplay more than any other aspect of sex, great for them 🎉 they have discovered how best to get to that happy place. Not that it’s about the destination it is so very much about the journey of which foreplay (and there are loads of things under that umbrella) is a sometimes part of the journey and sometimes the whole journey. Find out what works for you, as an example I know many exclusive tops who would not consider bottoming at all but at the same time enjoy using sex toys for prostate stimulation. We are all different and find our own pleasure, and chances are loads of other people do too.

[@a.j.stauft1779]

Yippers..spot on guys😊❤

[@cmontesinos007]

On a side note, I've been meaning to ask about Joel's references to 'heteronormative" . . . which leads me to ask what is "homonormative" . . . which seems to recure as a common theme throughout your episodes . . . which typically culminate in " I'm not being judgmental" or "you just do you" sort of mentality. I think it's a matter of social morays which are very different between the straight and gay communities. I'm curious about your thoughts - are we becoming too identity-centric and siloed in the gay community? It makes me very uncomfortable to be lumped in with a lot of other factions within "the community".

[@williamhodgson1428]

I’m becoming, more and more a happy solo sexual.

[@frankgyure3154]

My comment is about the audio. There seems to be a lot of echo. Could be placement of mikes. But the echo makes it harder to understand whatever you are are saying especiayl Keegan.

[@Preppie-thirty]

No thanks to bumming..I guess Im a side then😂

[@penster617]

My husband and I don't bum each other either. Well, he's bummed me a few times, but it's way too much work. I can't even get my pinky inside him. Exit only kind of thing. And honestly, I just like to lie there.

[@gospelofthomas77thpearl22]

You guys are adorable 🥰

[@dawnevans157]

Why is other people's sex lives anyone else's business but whoever is in the relationship.

[@daniel_sc1024]

I have to ask, since the title of the video is very clear what it is about, why are you here if you feel that way? I would say in general peoples' sex lives are private, but on the other hand there is educational value in people discussing such things (discussed in a mature way, of course).

[@dawnevans157]

@@daniel_sc1024 people shouldn't be judged though for what they do or don't do with a partner.

[@daniel_sc1024]

@@dawnevans157 If you had listened to the video, that is basically what they said.

[@dawnevans157]

@@daniel_sc1024 I have listened to the video now.

[@gregwasserman9741]

Yes I believe it is called sides

[@aaironparker2837]

Kudos to your romance. For me sorry. I'm bottom to verse. Open to a lot. And prefer a partner open one on one like that as well. But this is new to hear. Blessed your love😘

[@ajaxon319pldunbar]

Joel, please teach me about sex with a woman…NOT EVER! 😂😂😂 That small segment with Joel talking about sex with a vagina involved was hilarious! I loved both of your views on the matter at hand. If I’m not involved in the sexual activity at all, I don’t care what happens with other people. I’m quite okay not knowing all the explicit details of how my friends have happy adult fun time. Now, pass the peas, please.❤

[@davidmims6790]

Oh my God! I am really getting old!! There is really a need to discuss this and get advice or information from the Internet?

[@7MonarC]

Wait wait a minute, 1994 was 30 years ago? I just got timewarped, feels like it wasn’t that too far back. #old 😂

[@LordJazzly]

You know what? Aside from the, er, sensual side of it - I think there might be a bit of a cultural thing with the focus on penetrative sex. Because - where and when I grew up, there was an idea that male homosexuality was 'unnatural' in some way; that was something I carried in the back of my mind for ages, until I discovered that an adult male has an entire erogenous zone buried _way the f- up there_ and I can't think of many _natural_ ways to reach it, save with another adult male. (Granted, these days there are more options, and from what I hear, even heterosexuals are getting in on that action - which, if _that's_ still considered 'straight', then you've got no worries about being considered gay or not for whichever way round you and your partner(s) are spinning things in private) But yeah, might also be a bit of a 'shows-what-you-know' thing going on there when it comes to people looking at that as the archetype for gay intimacy. (Also - that wasn't too grotty and explicit for a youtube comment, was it?)

[@VikingJack-il4hw]

I dated many gay men through my life and the biggest cheaters are the bottoms😊

[@SCYorks]

Well personally I think from my perspective if you fall for somebody and you've discussed It and that person doesn't want to be penetrated then you either accept it or move on.Personaly I couldn't be with a person who is a side.However I would be willing to discuss it with a guy and get a feeling that being gay has many levels to sex and at the end of the day it's about what you're comfortable with and if you're not comfortable then say so discussion is the most important aspect to me of a relationship not sex.Without agreement from discussion then the relationship is not worth being in and just becomes a toxic controlling relationship and why there must always be agreement in a relationship.

[@davidlp6510]

I thought both of you were native English speaker. Apparently, that is not the case.

[@rogersmith4426]

If you and your partner are aligned whats it matter if its rare. We don't have anal sex and we've been together for 7 years and very content

[@Notess777]

if only these videos had subtitles

[@jim.pearsall]

You both can do me! 🙋🏻‍♂️😛

[@paulgrimaldi1751]

Sex is Quick. After everybody comes everyone wants to go home...

[@scottweaverphotovideo]

Lord Dudley and the Gamekeeper

[@VikingJack-il4hw]

Which one of you are the bottom? I have found through the years that in most cases it's the big bear type guys that are bottoms😊

[@bowed305]

What if they're both completely vers and both equally enjoy both? Why are you hung up on wanting to label them?

[@dandyman9205]

None of this is really new information. I guess for a young person who is just entering life and sex might need these questions answered. Otherwise...calling it "side" is not a new concept. There have been many people throughout history who don't like anal sex. I guess with the labeling society we live in now makes people feel better naming it.

[@franciskirkpatrick2534]

your missing out of a beautiful experience

[@JayWalker-tk2pr]

To each their own.

[@jungersrules]

Besides being 100% in support of the whole LGBTQ+ community (heck, I live in Portland, OR, so it's the norm, lol) I've never particularly been interested in how gay men have relationships, as in dating or physical. UNTIL .... I discovered BLs. So, I'm an Asian straight gal. Single at heart and so not looking for a bf/partner. About 3 months ago I discovered Asian BLs. I've grown up attracted to white guys, and found Asian guys just yuck in every aspect. But now I'm obsessed with Asian gays. I've never been so turned on in my life, as well as generally curious, about their lives. At first it was actors in BLs, but now it's mostly real life couples. Most here on YT are very PG. One in particular is a Chinese couple who have like 2.75M subscribers (every week it jumps up by $100K, not even kidding). I'm curious to know ... how do you both feel about BLs? I know some gay men love them even though the main audience are straight women. But, I also know that some in the community think it fetishizes gay men and shun them, or at least don't watch them. I'd love to know your take.

[@billTO]

BL???

[@LordJazzly]

Actually, I'd like to hear what they think about that, as well. I've never been able to really understand what the appeal is for an outsider, but I _also_ know that it's a large enough economic driver for media representation of male homosexuality that a lot of the, er, early exposure I had to that subject-matter in media was through things written primarily by and for straight women (I live in the Asia-Pacific region; manga are and have been more popular and common than western comic books here for the last 20 years). Getting a bit older and more world-wise, I can say that there's not a huge overlap between the... interests of the _fandom_ and the interests of the actual _community,_ although the bits that do overlap are pretty interesting. That said, I don't know if you'd get more of an answer than 'Well, that's cool, we're not sure we understand, but good for you', since that's where I'm at with it. But if the guys have more to say - I'd like to hear it too. You should email them! Pretty sure they read them all, even if they don't do videos on all of them.

[@spac4st]

When i would make you guys mine? .like.. very very mine

[@richardroy2430]

Do you have an only fans account?

[@Janaceks_Dad]

I think you both are exaggerating the extent of something that is really a non issue. If a gay couple feel pressure from other gay men to have sex a certain way, they need to grow up…who cares what other gay men think about something that is private…also, not all sexual encounters between gay men necessarily involve anal sex, any more than sex between straight couples involves vaginal sex. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t…again who cares?

[@Janaceks_Dad]

Also, not all gay men are comfortable being referred to as “homos”…even if it’s used by other men. The word “gay” is good enough.

[@michaeltucker5752]

Hmmmm? I gots to have it “ all “ or nothing….❤❤❤😊

[@gordonfreeman5261]

I imagine Joel is a very dominant top in his relationship with Keegan. 🙄

[@calvindavis3641]

😂😂😂😂 You're funny.

[@blakebreddy1029]

??????????????????????????????/ WHO CARES ??????? OR IS IT CRITICAL FOR YOU TO BE PART OF TEH HERD AND LIKE EVRYONE ELSE??????? YOI TWO ARE SO CONTRIVED

[@soberanisfam1323]

side = auto block

[@okorochukwunonso2563]

Keegan teasing joel always makes me laugh..lol....Love you guys.❤

[@brittania1974]

Two bottoms