Harvard’s stress expert on how to be more resilient | Dr. Aditi Nerurkar

[@feketefeher]

feedback for the producers: the background music is very loud, i can’t focus on the speech because the volumes makes me focus on the music.

[@aliciadiaz8085]

Also slightly weird score

[@crew-coloradoriverentertai5197]

Knowing tons of others feel the same is not a way to feel better, it's just more evidence that there's something terribly wrong with our culture and how we're raised to never feel our best is good enough 😵‍💫

[@jenniferrathe6570]

Well worded. Like I lost my kids and my last boyfriend said him losing one grandparent of his is the same or worse.

[@ST-rj8iu]

i have learned that when people think your best isn't good enough, it is because they are USERS. I have had several bosses in my life. Over 15. The best bosses accept my flaws and accept my boundaries. The worst users don't like boundaries, and the word no. Understand, if you are truly fair, it is them, not you.

[@paavohirn3728]

That's an important point. I think here the thought the we're not alone is a reminder for self-compassion. Especially to point out that we're not a failed human being. Sometimes though, this thought can really aggravate our distress, especially those of us who are already more empathetic than others. In that case I would recommend other helpful thoughts that invoke self-compassion. Maybe just reminding ourselves we're worthy of love as we are. Even imagining a person or other being that loves us (it can even be an imaginary being altogether).

[@DonGivani]

Video starts at 6:39. You're welcome!

[@sanatani-qe6gc]

Thanks I love you❤😅

[@halluciongen3000]

Thank you

[@thompjackson]

Thanks I was starting to stress out.

[@goldies6702]

I once read an article that said that people who have a variety of different groups they belong to have much higher resilience, like someone who is part of a sport group, a work group, friends, family, hobbies group, etc.

[@mds33483]

I guess basically the more you do different activities with different set of people and the more you socialize it should help

[@goldies6702]

@@mds33483 also if something happens with one group of people you have other groups you belong to so you take it easier

[@markaja2]

This a helpful video for me when I scaffold this knowledge with my existing framework of eustress vs distress. That negative stresses can produce resilience when there are breaks and we take time to process the stress. This is an example of eustress. Distress is prolonged. A “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” attitude often mitigates how we perceive stress, but like every axiom of philosophy, it will break down when taken to the extreme. The most resilient axiom I’ve found is “everything in moderation”. (including applying everything in moderation).

[@Here4TheHeckOfIt]

Agree. Everything in moderation

[@JamesWeeb-wp8ij]

Moderation is pretty much the rule of life that doesnt break so easily as you said

[@joelspliffbeaudette3750]

Everything in moderation. Even moderation.

[@glow808]

I love this. I think "unaware" medical practitioners too quickly diagnose "depression" for people during these difficult times and then they prescribe (omg) heavy duty meds which have disturbing effects. My PCP did so recently. I advocated for myself and said no... no meds... I changed my diet, walked more, socialized more... resiliency. I think practitioners are too stressed these days (and probably self-medicating with who knows what). Dr. N... thank you. I listened to this twice right now!

[@martywilsonlife]

Hey great comment! I went ahead and accepted the diagnosis so that I could at least get talk therapy. I'm definitely doing a lot along the lines that you are, but certain things are getting a little harder for me to cope with these days. Congratulations on all you have accomplished.

[@NewLife-qj9mx]

I did the same - stopped all the meds and the meds to combat the side effects of the meds 🙄 They just keep pushing that crap down your throat because it's revenue I took control of my own life and mind

[@mjinba07]

Yeah, relying entirely on medical intervention can miss the whole impact of lifestyle. Even if one does benefit from medication, poor diet, low exercise, poor sleep, and loneliness, are often the culprits behind a lot of "depression." Anxiety, too. We didn't evolve to live the way we do today. Fast food, processed food, online social connection, sedentary living and lack of healthy physical stress... These are bad for us. Take care of those things and then see if a medication is necessary.

[@gps6167]

I did the same, went to doctor he listened to me for 5 mins and he wrote down a anti depressant that I needed to take for a year before I stop. Just before this event I considered my self a healthy guy with resilience and I was shocked when doctor wrote that down and I started to think what is really going on.. to be honest i was even more worried and to make thing worse he did mention that my condition will get worse before it gets better. Toughest time of my life. I took the med for 3 days and started to get the panic attacks feeling.. and then I stopped the meds. I knew from experience that when I go to GYM do a workout I instantly feel better so I started doing that along with hang around with postive people with in, a week my situation was 50% better and today after 3-4 months I'm out of that non sense of self doubt and I'm same like before. Distress is not depression - that's what I have learnt. I believe in this Workout 30 mins a day few days a week and these things won't come near.

[@RosannaLee-vn6jc]

agree! I was diagnosed with "anxiety disorder" and my doctor prescribed me with high dosage SSRI which turned me into showing bipolar disorder symptoms. I never really felt better with the pills at all its more like a placebo effect like me reassuring myself that im on medication, it should work. The real change begins when I quitted the medication and sought out alternative solution. All the doctor need is to address the way i was thinking that has led into so many suffering. but they never did. I felt significantly much better now by actively stepping out of my comfort zone, whether its situation that would intimidate me or stressful events. I realise its all my mind.

[@vanaziz5995]

As a Muslim, this really resonates with me because through praying 5x a day it forces me to pause, breathe, and be fully present, no matter how chaotic life gets. It’s a constant reminder to be grateful for what I have and reconnect with what truly matters. It’s really helped me stay grounded and mindful, which has been a game changer for my mental well-being - If only I understood it earlier on in my life.

[@teresmajor7956]

To be fair, all religions can be seen as coping mechanisms, as they offer believers the promise of an afterlife, which can make it easier to handle the reality of their situation in this world. Atheists (and realists) don’t have that luxury because we see them as fantasies.

[@Hallohierbinich]

Very true, the 5 daily prayers in Islam help you to increase mindfulness and to prevent stress. You are 5 times a day grounded.

[@floralhandshake6376]

I'm often described as very resilient by coworkers. It's not that I don't feel stress, but my coping mechanism is to talk to God 5 times a day and to prioritise it above all else. I resonate with your comment about not appreciating it when younger!

[@RollingBall6469]

@@teresmajor7956 I say this as somewhat of a nonbeliever but being a dedicated muslim is nowhere near a luxury, especially in modern times. Its very difficult stuff, so I'm not sure if praying 5x is a 'luxury' but more so a necessity for them. What do you think? I don't mean to argue, just curious what you have to say about that.

[@gv5395]

Islam per sei is the stress inducer! Do not try advertising a religion encourages people to kill! If 5 times praying was helpful, all these Muslim people should have had peace in their mind, life and countries!

[@azharhussain9617]

Done both - phenomenal success from even few minutes of effort per day. 😊

[@mjinba07]

We often hear about inheriting the stress response from the early days of our evolution when we were vulnerable to attack from a wild animal. What I've never heard used as an example is vulnerability to attack from other humans, which continues to this day - both instrumentally as with crime or physical abuse, and socially as occurs in any of our affiliations when others and we ourselves direct aggression towards each other. Chronic sniping, exclusion, exploitation, excessive competition, unreasonable demands, emotional abuse... There are many things that can go terribly wrong between people, and it's probably the most common stress we experience in modern life. In our distant past, chronic mistreatment or exclusion from the tribe was likely to mean death. It was - and is - way more common than being hunted by a predator. But we don't like to use it as an example when talking about stress. We are social animals. And it pays to identify this as the most common source of stress we experience. Especially in our current lifestyle of online interaction, political polarization, and diminished in-person social cohesion.

[@lostmrsmoss]

Great point! I heartily agree.

[@crystalclear6660]

I wish she was a therapist or just a specialist I could see. I need to build more resilience, less anxiety and believe I can change my brain for the better.

[@scholarway]

You are the best therapist ever can have! Just trust yourself with some more practice and patience...

[@Coco_Nunez]

You could try hypnotherapy

[@emersonrae905]

you can!!

[@teresmajor7956]

Therapists listen, and give you opportunities for you to discover yourself. They don’t give you advice, or life-coach you. If they do, they are bad therapists.

[@karlin_oriley]

Look out for the Buteyko Breathing method. Good way to reduce anxiety

[@priyanshisingh1854]

i am practicing gratitude and breathing lately and this week feels so good now that i am more mindful , thankyou for this video

[@LouisDillard02]

Imagine if we taught kids early on how to manage stress healthily. Maybe we'd all be a little more equipped for adulting.

[@DonGivani]

In Europe we have 4 weeks holiday

[@gouravarora5838]

Thanks

[@macsmiffy2197]

Experts always talk about stress in relation to work. My stress levels have never been so high as they are in retirement.

[@Utchaynavlogs]

Thank you for sharing hope more people can listen to this topic.

[@mehl1982]

Breathing and gratitude. Thanks Dr.

[@noelleguinn7744]

I really appreciate how you explain the brain's process for stress as well as ways to help.

[@Robinson8491]

This music makes my anxiety go 180bpm

[@See669]

The music is just the trigger. Your problem is elsewhere…find it

[@akidodogstar5460]

@@See669 For me the music WAS the problem AND the trigger.

[@markthompson1439]

I agree, I felt the same

[@rabihwaked]

For me, her endless bla bla bla and music raised my blood pressure to the max. Lady, get to the point.

[@teresmajor7956]

I think you just want the attention

[@Golgibaby]

Mahalo for normalizing growth and imperfection to the idea of resilience and grit. How do we reconcile ideas of productivity with this more realistic framing of resilience for vocational rehabilitation and the sequelae of the labor shortage with this mental health/illness heightened awareness?

[@BrandyinIndy]

Yes!

[@Here4TheHeckOfIt]

Toxic stress is other people. Otherwise, people can manage their stress.

[@MonkeyHero]

????

[@AD-pn2xi]

l’enfer, c’est l’autre

[@MrBlackcorp]

Hehehe, well then we are doomed because there will always be other people

[@mitu9881]

How beautiful thoughts she has shared with us and how beautiful she is ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@Susanne-B.]

- The 'now magnifying glass' (predators, hunger/thirst, heat/cold). And helpfull to be less irritated, seeing the same thing so differently, or, not to stuck unnecessarily long in a stage. - Just knowing that breathing is the one thing you can use to influence the autonomic nervous system, otherwise you can take physical reactions too seriously. - That framing works, successfully, and focusing on gratitude makes it easier, steering life in a positive direction.

[@molly806]

the background music is very stress inducing

[@alexislapuz687]

Appreciate her insightful explanation of the latest supportive brain science to provide the reasoning of effective practices to of reducing stress and burnout in the modern times for the brainy nerds like myself who are open and curiously fascinated to understand the science too!

[@wellbodisalone]

Instead of seeing stress as purely negative, view it as a natural response that can be managed.

[@GHOSTproduction]

thank you so much for teaching me something very useful and beneficial to make my life better.

[@zfoska]

Wanted to learn about resilience since a few days, and this turned up on feed. Thanks Big Think & Aditi.

[@BrandyinIndy]

I work in addiction/recovery and my toxic stress seems to be due to short staffing. How does one manage this?

[@Am-jr4xn]

This is a great question. I also want to know - is it possible to manage our stress when there are crushing elements out of our control? Sometimes I think the answer is no. It took medication and a completely different environment for me to finally find peace and treat my severe anxiety and depression. I made good choices to bring me to the place I am now, but many of my previous circumstances were inescapable for a long time, and that wasn’t my fault.

[@ranha9933]

It s not the what if, but the i am or i feel. Anxiety is such a killer. I have severe insomnia bc of it. But no amount of breathing or gratitude will cure it.

[@sassysls1851]

I’ve struggled with this too. There are many other techniques out there you can try to see what works for you, but most of them require you to do them consistently before you see much of a change. I’ve heard a study (or maybe studies) that say 10 min of breath work a day is more effective than medications. However, you could also try , meditation (Insight Timer is a free app with a wide range of guided meditations), EFT tapping, somatic movements, yoga, massage, acupuncture, etc. Over time, I’ve sort of developed a multi-pronged approach.

[@spanthyx]

I don’t know your specific circumstances, but I’ve recently read “Dare” by Barry McDonagh to help me resolve my anxiety and it’s helped me tremendously so far. If you can afford it, don’t think twice :)

[@Clra2028]

Superficial same strategies that don't do a great deal to stress. Learn to examine your life, your current reality and do some real hard core contemplation using self-inquiry. Your maladaptive behaviour that generates maladaptive stress will be revealed and you can change yourself. You will become adaptive and hold the potential for adaptive stress.

[@saraH-yu1mx]

Such a privileged perspective to think breathing and gratitude will impact severe stress caused by outside factors.

[@hussaintaj1]

this is great for right now!

[@ChiaraEla-ph4ky]

background music is awfully stressful

[@yogithashetty2587]

Very informative, thanks for sharing it with us.

[@zareensubahaziz512]

This is the best video I have watched to combat stress thank you thank you

[@diegoandres2906]

This was so helpful!!

[@adityadev8344]

What she talked about is what Patanjali discusses in first chapter of his text on Yoga.

[@Imhotep-the-7th]

how come the body respond to unreal threats (interview/exam/etc..) the same way it responds to real threats (zombies/aliens/alienzombies/zombialiens)?

[@hazardousmaterial5492]

Interview -> job -> money -> being able to afford food and rent

[@Starstruck-v2u]

This video wasn’t helpful. But as someone who dealt with anxiety before, just the tought that this time will pass by, and looking forward to a positive outcome. In short being positive and having a mindset, whatever happens will be for my good, got me through every trouble

[@sssutube1]

One of the few BT videos that has some useful tips and not just theory 😊

[@noctislucis9939]

Breath isn't the only thing that's both voluntary and involuntary. I can name the eye lids on top of my head, I'm sure there are more.

[@joaomarco114]

Perfect leslie knope voice

[@asteroideare]

The two important activities that help manage stress are breathing and gratitude.

[@bigpurplepops]

Does anyone else just feel even worse off after listening to these kind of 'hope speeches'?

[@blueglassog3600]

Because it's just talk, nothing is actually changing?

[@Diatonic5th]

You might feel worse if you don't actually apply the new knowledge to your everyday life. It's all up to you how you feel at any given moment. You're the only one in charge of your emotions.

[@dragonmaster909]

Yep

[@muhittinnestea83]

Because you have to face it/reminded of it

[@andreasp3452]

I hear that a lot "you are in charge of your emotions" Bro if that were true I would be happy 24/7 ​@@Diatonic5th

[@sherryhere8498]

Very straightforward, understandable and practical info. Thanks for sharing, doc ✨

[@hongngocvn]

Breathe and gratitude

[@Luckygirlme111]

6 mins into the video I realized I was so stressed that I had barely listened to anything

[@faizanalikhan5311]

Thank you for kind information

[@QreuzebekA]

Amazing, buying the book right now

[@arabesque1111]

Thank you for the video!! I tried creatine before and it made me gain 4 kg and I looked less muscular. So I stopped. Did you gain any weight or see those effects? Did you try different doses?

[@emveeay]

Thank you for this.

[@BeWriteThere]

Excellent, actionable content. A+ pick me up. Thank you.

[@ayangjibrut]

thank you

[@kamudankemter]

I can say that someone who thinks that stress can be fought in this way has never experienced stress.

[@hongngocvn]

Thank you ❤

[@darinakalinova2180]

You know what, perhaps we should think in a different way. Let's stop working for toxic companies and managers. Let's have political leaders who are actually serious about country development. Let's start to do what is obvious 3 x8 that being 8 hours of sleep 8 hours for your own life and 8 hours of work.

[@peacenholiness6855]

I second that

[@TravelNomad88]

Thank you 🙏😊

[@snipercrow787]

Life isn't worth getting bogged down in a vortex of stress and anxiety, and that's not just a saying but a fact supported by both science and philosophy. From a neuroscience perspective, chronic stress leads to elevated cortisol levels in the body, which is detrimental to mental and physical health in the long run. Moreover, research suggests that 85% of the things we worry about never happen, or if they do, they are less bad than we expected. Stoic philosophy, on the other hand, teaches us that happiness lies in controlling our thoughts and not external circumstances. This concept is reinforced by modern psychology that supports the power of positive thinking and reprogramming the mind to deal with situations more flexibly. Life is a series of moments, and if we spend it worrying, we are wasting those precious moments. A calm mind is the key to living consciously and happily, and the most important thing to realize is that stress doesn't change reality, it just consumes our energy in vain.

[@1ib_net]

What role does a morning routine play in reducing stress and anxiety?

[@danielstassen813]

She overlooked the significant impact that caffeine has on stress. A reset should include taking a break from caffeine, as well as incorporating exercise and meditation. I should be a stress expert 😂

[@kartik07k]

Thank you 👍

[@orangenblues8679]

love this

[@kastenolsen9577]

The fault of stress, as we know it today, is the insanity of society. Why is society the way it is? PRESSURE FOR PROFIT. Profit for corporate stockholders. It is the drive for success, the desire for more, taught by society. This needs to change or we will become a society of loosers.

[@Analyst.40]

Great material as usual but music is loud

[@buyukberber]

I think the talk is very interesting and gives valuable information. However the music in this video is not only unnecessary, but it caused me stress to try to follow the speech

[@PatrickBorel]

excellent! thanks

[@serhatbozkurtarici2326]

The music ruins the quality of your videos

[@aydilozer4299]

😂

[@hstera]

Way too loud!

[@jd497]

I’m wondering if it could be possible to inject more stress in this video through tighter editing and, good lord, the music? Seriously, the layers of irony here. A woman sitting there and speaking about amygdala activation while the producers are deploying almost every known social media amygdala burning trick. The only thing lacking is the incessant hand waving that all the KZbinrs think is necessary to make a point, but actually invokes extreme fight or flight.

[@kayleymonn5155]

Actually insane that none of her solutions address the socioeconomic dynamics that are making people have to fight tooth and nail to make a living wage and have zero time left for themselves. Thanks miss Harvard

[@tom8008135]

Companies teach their employees meditation now so they can be more productive and make more money for them 🤦🏻

[@Madkad]

You want a mental health researcher to solve Capitalism. Slow clap 👏

[@kayleymonn5155]

@@Madkad Yeah I was totally tasking her with the sole responsibility to "solve capitalism..." If you're going to address stress solutions, you should probably engage in analysis of the root causes. Just a thought.

[@sodalimesalt]

Harvard articles are publishings on what is good for Business, not individuals.

[@hismom8682]

The music is stressing me out.

[@clifferttreven7376]

Amazing!

[@kamilzadrozny5184]

Mordko ja nie jestem w stresie, ukladam plan dzialania I podsumowuje fakty. Znowu jestes z tylu. Czytaj to tak jak jest naprawde. Ja nie klamie

[@akidodogstar5460]

My conclusion is that chronic Velcro (tm) amygdala tigers are the primary cause of stress.

[@mariuspet89]

What a gooooooood video❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@karlin_oriley]

The music stressed me bcs I had trouble to hear, what you were saying.

[@bigsarge2085]

Interesting.

[@sandrocottusrex7108]

महोदया ने काफ़ी अच्छा सुझाव दिया।

[@TheLululalune]

Why did you choose such a stressful music for a video on stress management? 😅

[@nugentjohn]

Kind of sounds like the uptake is that I should have just followed the mystics. They've been saying the same thing for my entire Gen X life but I was holding out for the mystics to fall in line with the experts; not the experts to fall in line with the mystics. Welp, hopefully the mystics are correct about reincarnation so I can try this again the next time around.

[@ucan1]

May God continue to guide and direct you in every step you're taking to better your life 🙏

[@chasingcuriosity1]

This background music is making me stressed out!

[@carolynmorey7041]

I really wanted to listen to this BUT the background music hurt my ears and increased my stress so badly that I switched off.

[@QWNSWORDS]

This is so simplified and so absolutely not simple or easy.

[@Utchaynavlogs]

Btw im also a CBT Therapist and its so stressful to be one. I personally feel the problems of my clients.

[@giorozza]

Thank you for sharing this. I'm a counselor in training and it's been such a stressful experience. The way the field in general (master's programs and agencies) treats those who are starting on this career, while constantly throwing platitudes about self-care, is so hypocritical.

[@christsangaris]

her voice stresses me out. i wasn't stressed till i watched this video... get in nature, workout , swim in cold water , or take a cold shower or ice bath.. meditate...

[@c_cma1971]

Hello from Bucharest, Romania - a huge underrated city in Europe:)

[@linnetmbotto7212]

I like how modest and lady like she has dressed. Her makeup is just right, and her smile just adds sunshine to the message. 😊

[@ninakoch1799]

THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD :(

[@indyatmn420]

You know what’s stressful? Waiting over 6 minutes for some “helpful” tips

[@futuristica1710]

Wow, I thought I was the expert on stress 😉

[@wenkhausenw]

I don’t get it. Why the constant underlying „music“, that is the racket of ramdom incoherent notes? Of all things on a video about „stress“?

[@MelissaMoreno-uv2vo]

First 3 minutes can be shipped

[@tomusic8887]

My partner passed away 4yrs ago and I am still, just not feeling grateful....

[@BrandyinIndy]

Grief 🙏🏻

[@tytiw516]

That's too long, if you can't still rise up 😢

[@testauthoritytes9917]

Couple things missing : 1. Frontal cortex also response to stress. Burn out happens in the frontal cortex region and amygdala trigger system is instantaneous. Frontal cortex is independent of rest of brain and makes you think ,really think new but not harvest accessible consciousness like rest of brain part including amygdala sitting underneath the core of brain region. 2. Breathing is not the only way to deal with stress. Lets break down breathing, there is an ancient saying from Hinduism that says "short breather lives short". However we have wimhop breathing technique that creates the healthy stress what you talked about and helps you to detox and create a balance. So not only long breath helps but controlled short breathing helps too. You can use drugs to deal with stress like green tean preferred by "dalai lama" himself ( the healer you say ) , or coffee recommended by regular ones like you and me. You can use hardcore substance like sniffing raw tobaco well practiced in native American society for ages or use marijuana used in ancient Hinduism for several thousand years. These are herbal drugs. Or you can use alcohol prescribed by all government bodies of all nationalities in the planet. You can have intercourse or make love to yourself to heal. All ancient Christianity and other religious stuff practiced this healing technique hidden behind chambers. All modern science cannot deny that sex is biggest trigger system of happy dopamine. But problem is you dont have quick access to this healing technique in our modern society well staged by sobriety. You can sleep well to wash your brain by cerebrospinal fliud and start again. I bet there are several other techniques.

[@siddharthsriram9698]

Good diagnosis but really shitty remedies tbh. Breathing and gratitude won’t solve stress and negativity. If only it was so easy. There’s a whole bunch of different facets to be addressed to live a fulfilling life and break away from negativity. It has to be practiced and realised with experience.

[@luciamariarossi4120]

For a moment I thought Amy Poehler was speaking

[@bogdanarsene9602]

I find it hard to understand as she talks in metaphors

[@kronho25]

money - money - money - money - money i will let you know if in the future i'll become a millionere

[@petremunteanu2941]

Make that rushed music more transient than life, please.