Have you met your soul mate? | Ashley Clift-Jennings | TEDxUniversityofNevada

[@whatdoesthisthingdo]

Yes. I met my soulmate the first time I looked in the mirror. He’s not the handsomest guy, but I do feel like there’s a such a deep understanding and connection between us.

[@hima478]

Yeah bro. Me, myself and I. Let's get it 😂

[@foreverflores0725]

I love this

[@ayandamaliwa6741]

Joe M

[@julissareyes4000]

dude same....lmfaoooooo I'm so weak, this comment made my day lol.

[@macancela]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@deanbrown6547]

"I would know she's my soulmate if this room was dark right now. I would know how to find her in this room." That is QUITE powerful. Wow.

[@jauxro]

That was the sweetest thing I've ever heard omg

[@isabella_photos_5077]

I know, after she said that I started to tear up because I just felt every part of that statement was true.

[@thelastmelon7187]

Some people just stand out to us... and sometimes they never stop...

[@kristenwhitley9775]

I felt that was so entirely true too, you could tell she meant it. My favorite part of the whole speech!

[@Brandonsalti]

I mean ig

[@dailydoseofhealth6995]

Don't "look" for your soulmate, "feel" for your soulmate! Beautiful talk, thank you so much for sharing your journey. Incredible.

[@coolbreeze5683]

I believe I've met a soulmate. The only way I can describe it is feeling like your past, present and future coming together all at once. The past because they feel very familiar like you've known them for a long time, present because you cherish every minute you're with them and future because you feel like you want to spend forever with them.

[@mariotapia5761]

How's that going?

[@hopeg02]

This has been me with my boyfriend, we met out of the blue, I never knew him.. but we know the same people, I used to see pictures of him on my socials without knowing, he tells me stories of people I know, when I’m with him I feel so content and I can see a future with him and I’ve never been able to see a future with anyone else before

[@avante-gardegeckos1233]

I actually wrote this down in my quote book :) thank you for this.

[@larabardot6836]

This is such a beautiful description, thank you for that ❤

[@kimberlygarcia7918]

Yes!! I feel this exact way about my person.

[@CenteredlParentingTV]

i love the definition of soulmate being the person you can find in the dark. without all the worldly trappings to distract us, could we simply feel around the room with our hearts and find that person? there's such a sweetness and purity to it.

[@---hc6tf]

In the department store, we just have a special whistle in case we get separated... and our phones are in the vehicles... but yeah we could probably use if there was a power outage. I didn't think of that. Sometimes I like to study the gimmick organic products a little too long, I get distracted.

[@armyshope]

It's someone similar to you

[@joilisch]

I love the whole concept of soulmates, how for some they start to mirror each other after a long relationship and then there are those who just start to do it naturally after the first meeting, some even synchronise their movements at the same time as their partner without knowing, It's scary, but somehow hopeful to witness.

[@armyshope]

@@joilisch J-HOPE is mine soulmate then?I feel this about him,you have described it.

[@aniaorozco3156]

Angelina Hart I met my boyfriend five months ago, he works at a hotel I was staying in, he’s part of the activities staff, there was a Mexican party, there was a lot of people dancing, me and my parents were sitting at a table, he was literally across the room, passed through the crowd to our table and asked my dad for permission to dance with me. We talked a little exchanged numbers and facebooks, we started talking a bit more and he told me that he saw me across the room, through all that crowd, and that everything else went blurry and he felt like he HAD to go to me. So he basically found his soulmate in a dark room, he just felt it.

[@petalss5325]

Omg her honesty level... total respect to her courage to accept a person as one is and to speak abt the journey i'm awed.

[@schoolkutielake5336]

Lovely Video! Apologies for the intrusion, I would love your thoughts. Have you heard the talk about - Chiveard Discovering Potential Framework (google it)? It is a great one off guide for finding your true calling and achieving success without the headache. Ive heard some decent things about it and my mate after many years got amazing results with it.

[@nickandchrismom]

Agreed

[@zoraidacastro5403]

Likewise

[@feelings-]

Not quite what I expected

[@milliemiller4954]

sexuality changes throughout one's lifetime = and relationship love changes too after two years of passionate sex, love flips on its head and it becomes more about the souls and a deeper love, it's not about SEX anymore and like a fine wine, it gets a more complex flavour - it's higher level shit

[@debc6268]

Fillemon Hamakali exactly my point she was fooled

[@suzettehernandez8200]

Fillemon Hamakali not exactly what she expected either 😩 .. but it was nice to listen to

[@elvinowe]

that's what she said.

[@fatimasow6887]

You can say that again! Didn't know TEDx has unless videos

[@AnthonyLiccione]

"Most people give up finding their soul mate, and settle down to just having a flesh mate."

[@kkdeveauxgue2784]

True

[@nahulseyon54]

True

[@frenchracqlett5368]

Second that

[@RosePetal17]

I love the line, "I felt like I had a home inside this person's soul."

[@cosmosatrosanguineus3171]

Gosh, i felt this towards someone, god help, hope i wont succumb to him

[@attoooh]

First 4 minutes * past tense * Myself: * anxiety intensifies * "Why is it PAST and not PRESENT?!"

[@TH-xy3by]

mood

[@katerinastefanova2441]

Sameeeee

[@VikeingBlade]

Righttt

[@isaacrodriguez8690]

thank you for words of true knowledge, Truth& Pure message!!

[@owlaowlstrowski3998]

Thank god I’m not the only one 😂

[@mrskmae]

This woman is incredible. I speak from knowing her as a child and even today. Her soul shines brightly through the struggle and I am so proud of her.

[@ZosiaSamosiaOo]

How does she confront her situation with her Christian faith?

[@jiensuyang3915]

u don't know her. this thing is staged.

[@mrskmae]

Roses LOL she was my best friend in middle school and I chatted with her about her talk before she did it. I know it may seem difficult to understand that people have friends, but perhaps you shouldn't project your lack of friends on others. Just a thought!

[@mrskmae]

ZosiaSamosiaOo I can ask her but if I know her well enough, I would assume that to her moral compass leads her to radiate love despite everything. Jesus is about love, not judgment.

[@ZosiaSamosiaOo]

That's true, but that doesn't mean you can do whatever you want as he'll love you anyway right? You're supposed to help people prevent their sins and not encourage them, so I'm wondering whether she started to pick and choose or just dropped her faith overall. She mentioned it for a reason, after all. It would be nice if you could ask her, or even better if she would actually come on here and respond to the comments. :)

[@yik7916]

You guys, she didn't specify if her spouse was always that way or was experiencing the struggle later on in her life. This entire video is her tearing down the walls of soulmate expectancy. She wanted a respectful man, and for a while she got that. But that man became a woman, and she realized that even though she hated feeling like she was being judged, she still felt like her spouse is her soulmate. She still felt a loving connection that overpowered the looks of her wife. She does not seem regretful about her relationship at all. She seems emotional about her journey but not negatively, and she seems a little nervous about giving this speech to a potentially judgmental crowd. And I doubt she would be giving a fucking Ted Talks speech about it if she felt obligated to this woman. I mean, her spouse did give her an opportunity to say no and/or leave, but she didn't leave. The point of this is her saying that she didn't get what she thought she needed, but she still got the loving relationship she was looking for.

[@larissafischinger7653]

YES!

[@louisec-m9503]

Well said!

[@JimmysTractor]

If you are happy as you can be, that's all that matters.

[@sousekisui]

Yik pardon me but I don’t really understand..so her soul mate was at first a male or a female?

[@angelainamarie9656]

We're always this way, darlin. We're just not sure we're allowed to show it.

[@conghaunguyen4546]

Soul mate the person whom can shares deep affection and understanding . I have not met them in my life

[@saraf5414]

hear hear!

[@alice.L.]

Conghau Nguyen it exists.Mine was kind of a jerk and too different.It felt cool and weird like u know what they will say next or read ur mind and if they arent sitting next to you then you feel their presence for a bit when they are far away.

[@paxsmile]

Conghau Nguyen Me neither.. not in my children, not in relationships, siblings or parents.. nowhere 😪

[@olaishere]

Conghau Nguyen I'm lucky enough to find two soul mates .. one I loved and the other was my friend

[@Itjusthappened0]

Same

[@randomnessofNadia]

That is true love. Your soulmate is not the vessel, but truly the soul inside. So proud and happy of you and your spouse.

[@KingaGorski]

The depth of compassion, empathy, and love this woman has is tremendous.

[@sigmavitali333]

Came in expecting the Soul Mate myth to be debunked, left feeling like none of my questions were answered.

[@ZosiaSamosiaOo]

Because it's not a myth, soulmates really do exist!

[@lemonsavery]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm explain...

[@amandaconstanza]

once I read about "soulmates", and it can even be a friend, and it is not necessarily a lover that you can be with the rest of your life. Also, it has to do with relationships in previous lifes and stuff like that.

[@لفتهالحريشاوي]

Amanda Pérez hello possibl known you

[@gabriellalopez6537]

The way I took it is, if you are willing to stay with someone through even their big changes. Then you have found your soulmate.

[@HartAngel5]

This isn't really a talk on meeting your soulmate. It's more of just a life story of THIS woman's journey meeting her soulmate. The title is sadly misleading.

[@MrGalonge]

How can you watch that and not think this is about finding your soulmate? Great Expectations and Catcher in the Rye are novels about Pip and Holden Caufield; doesn't mean they aren't about the societal and personal journey young people face as they grow older.

[@domeniques3498]

I feel you

[@curlyclouds9]

very misleading

[@SamSam24270]

Thanks for the tip off, your right she is just telling her life story, not about have you met your soul mate.

[@yoondami1127]

She spoke about how to find your soulmate through her story. The process is something beyond we can actually do as greedy materialistic humans. It's a lot deeper.

[@annalapolt2370]

this is truly the definition of a soulmate. loving the person that completes you, no matter what

[@vhdangel]

This isn't about finding a soulmate. This woman is just talking about her personal journey.

[@imbored9156]

Take time to think about it to yourself instead of instantly jumping to conclusions. What is she trying to convey by telling her story?

[@alcachofillapodrida4866]

@@imbored9156 Actually I don't know and I need help.

[@freemanism123]

Agree with you

[@alongpongener8997]

We need high IQ to understand her speech

[@lynellvickerman3813]

I see red flags for that remark

[@elizaheathen]

if anyone here is new to this video...I've just done some very basic research on this couple and Ashley has now transitioned to Ethan...mind blown

[@kidzeezy0112]

I am not surprised, they need to change the title.

[@cobblecattt]

MIND BLOWN INDEED!! 😲😲😲

[@novu6196]

Where can I find them? :00 I'm so interested at how they look together ^^

[@suciwulandari5628]

gosh the whole talks was a jaw dropping and now this....

[@crickettweeks4417]

Found it! ABC News did a story on it! MIND BLOWING 💣💣💣

[@EmilyReese]

Ashley, I am very impressed with your transparency and strength. Thank you for sharing your journey with others!

[@ColdHT69]

Transparent? Like the honest title?

[@chriswest7639]

ColdHT69 pretty sure she didn’t write it

[@samantha4130]

Emily Reese Ashley is now Ethan. Yes it’s true!!!!

[@maisong4364]

“Would you even know how to recognize your soulmate? Would you know what you are looking for?” LOVED THAT.

[@arraine]

I've been through this myself, and seeing my wife and soulmate grow into herself is the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. It's a hugely difficult journey, but it is absolutely worth all of the hardships.

[@tracyclingings2531]

I was married to my soulmate and lost him in 2012. He wasn't supposed to go before me and now I'm not sure what to do! Great speech! Hugs 🤗

[@adamsthomasgreene5653]

Same here, I lost my soulmate in 2015 and since then I haven't had the time to be or want another. She was just the best.

[@kikiann30]

I’m surprised at how many negative comments there are. This is so beautiful, it shows that love goes far beyond a societal box. We live in such a superficial society. Love is love. People divorce over way less. The fact they are still married throughout everything they have been through shows they are soulmates.

[@magsg3302]

i love her capacity to learn and grow out of what society has conditioned her!

[@zorga0001]

Actually she is reflecting EXACTLY what society (Social Justice warriors) have conditioned her to think.

[@Swanky95472]

my soul mate is my cat! She's been in my life for 20 years and I love her so much!

[@sungrae1004]

Swankster me too

[@moonchild1432]

sameeee

[@dimitrav8601]

I didn't know cats can live for so long

[@thehollyannrose]

Same. He's been in mine for almost six!

[@waysav]

Yup, cats can live 20 years, but that's about the max.

[@laetis.860]

That plot twist though

[@AyubuKK]

Laeti S. Ikr

[@amooraambreen2731]

I read the description before that came and spoiled it for myself ughhh

[@samantha4130]

Anna333 Wow. Wasn’t expecting that. I’ve just been googling the lady in the video....and I was so confused for a moment. Plot twist indeed! I wonder if her spouse hadn’t been trans would she have discovered this also about herself!? Intriguing!

[@olayinkaadeyemi6389]

😱

[@olayinkaadeyemi6389]

@@amooraambreen2731 lol it's ok.

[@yukifujita5856]

I'm 68 years old, married for 41 years, two grown kids, and I feel I have not met my soulmate yet. It's not what I thought it would be for the last 35 years. I need to get back to my real wants and ideals. It's a little scary, but not as bad as if I went for what life should be for me. Rather be alone but content, than being angry and unhappy.

[@asphaltbeast3859]

Wish you the best man

[@br5821]

Wish you find your happiness

[@MaamafricaEsther]

profound. so a non-ending search

[@franpatterson5460]

I know exactly how you feel and I wish you luck, don't give up.

[@ebbflow8002]

I commend u for being this vulnerable (honest) & sharing the process u went through. It’s a refreshing perspective on how we as a society interpret soul mates/ love/ marriage & how, at times, stigmatization is planted without knowing it. Thank u.

[@mochiyumyum5480]

I'm not looking for soulmate I'm not looking for somebody With some superhuman gifts Some superhero or super girl Some fairytale bliss Just something I can turn to Somebody that I can laugh with Somebody I can kiss

[@maverickkanav]

Mochi Yumyum no one loves me 😣😥

[@itzelhuerta7814]

Mochi Yumyum I sea what you did there 👀

[@LCbabyxO]

Mochi Yumyum aw ❤️❤️❤️ same lol

[@vinidubey8902]

Yeah, I too want something just like this

[@lover20181]

tbh i want someone who will listen,talk,comfort,love,kiss,hug, and be loyal to me

[@risankati]

My boyfriend is my soulmate and I knew it the second I saw him. And I knew exactly what I was looking for before I even met him. There is nothing that he could do that could chase me away, as long as he still kept all his kindness and his beautiful soul. I love her point, it's about knowing what you want and not just rushing into relationships just because it sucks to be alone. Knowing what you want and finding it and loving it unconditionally is the best thing ever. :)

[@DaudZaidi]

Are you still together ?

[@mariotapia5761]

Are you still together?????????

[@risankati]

Yea, we're married and have two sons :)

[@GeorgiaIsOnMyMind]

Her honesty is commendable. I'm happy she is this honest with herself as she was with the rest of us, and that we can all do it too.

[@cherahsBroll]

This is one of the most beautiful and thought-provoking TEDx Talks I’ve heard/seen. Wow, I have no words . . .

[@yeppichippi]

I could not still find my soulmate, but I have a courageous, briliant and cute sister. She is the best person ever.

[@ziggy_starz]

Hey guys, the point is that it didn’t matter that she was trans in the end. She found her soulmate, and because of a connection that strong, she loved that person no matter what and stuck with her through it all. There’s no need to go on some tangent about how mad you’d be if your partner came out as trans. Once you find your soulmate, you stick with them and their struggles.

[@daydreaminhoney]

Ashley, this is such a powerful message about acceptance and self-discovery. You are so powerful in your ability to do what is right for you and let society's expectations fall away. Much love to you and your spouse.

[@victoriadoingthings]

this title is misleading...just saying

[@vanessapatterson3229]

True, still beautiful though

[@Dreams.ofAnAbsolution]

How? She talks about soulmates, so…

[@editazilinskyte3681]

True. I liked the speech ,but I still dont know if I had found my soulmate.

[@niquenique4362]

Yeeaaaa

[@kamranghani73]

Victoria Taylor agreed!

[@lovorlie9549]

A partner in life is someone you stand by through thick and thin. Theyre both so brave. I have so much respect for her understanding and support of her wife. That's bravery and faith and compassion.

[@Unzatic]

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.

[@McFraneth]

Oh my God you courageous woman. Bless you for not leaving her and for being there for her. You are admirable and a decent human being.

[@Blake-dk7yk]

"she" transitioned to and goes by Ethan now

[@robertturnip7850]

Ok so if she decided she didn't want to be with a trans woman, that would make her indecent?

[@Blake-dk7yk]

He is a trans man and leaving someone for being who they are is a bit of a low blow

[@robertturnip7850]

It might be a low blow but it might not be what she wants out of life. I wouldn’t want to spend my entire life explaining my relationship to people. I know it’s not fashionable to say it but most people still just want a “normal” life. Her husband also kept it a secret from her and also from his previous partner who he also had kids with. What does that say about him?

[@Blake-dk7yk]

people don't always relies they are trans, SHE relised much later in life and her now Husband ended up relising a bit later. The person in this video is now transitioning into a male and goes by Ethan and Ashley her wife didn't lie to anyone, and their is no such thing as a normal life.

[@daringcow]

I believe true love touches the spirit, has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with who we are as humans. Its a line connecting you and another. And while it can be broken her story shows it can also strenghten and become more powerful. I wish them long and happy life.

[@kisora_55597]

carrotandfennel 150,000%

[@NoOneReallySpecial]

True love is loving the person for who they are spiritually and essencely. The personality. The invisible being that is them. Gender, physical bodies, likes, dislikes, etc... should all just be a bonus. You need to truly love a person for everything, cause looks and likes dwindle, then what's left if you didn't like them simply for who they are?

[@I.Am.Limitless]

OMG I get what she said so much..I mean..I have met this man who I wouldn't otherwise feel any physical attraction for at all, but there was something in him that made me love him straight away, he became a friend of mine instantly, he is my best friend right now and I love him immensely..I believe he is my soul mate..we have a connection I never thought I would have with someone

[@Dollbhabie]

When she said I could find her in this room if it where completely dark. I bawled. THIS IS LOVE!

[@tenacious1]

Had watched this a couple of years ago but stumbled upon it again today. Wow! Her story - Deep. An example of unconditional love. True love.

[@gent8940]

It's interesting that Ashley chose the words "I was told that my partner was transgender". Not: "My partner told me he was transgender". I hope she didn't learn this important information secondhand.

[@ziggy_starz]

Genevieve Tran I think she was avoiding pronouns to keep the twist secret.

[@newiehamilton2286]

Naw, she was avoiding pronouns to make the shift distinct in her speech. In the first half, her spouse was presenting as male and lived as male. In the second half her spouse is presenting as female and living as female. So, she wanted to make that shift as concise as possible.

[@blessingeffiong4669]

@@newiehamilton2286 x

[@nifa89]

I had the same question....

[@ghostfox13]

Bro...spoiler warning next time.

[@paperplains7285]

Here's a tip: don't marry someone after 6 months of dating. It will make your life easier.

[@Jblah]

LMAO useless advice. Try being real longer then 2 seconds. Maby someone worthy will notice youre worthy more then just the occasional d. LMAO

[@geniusdork1476]

.... my parents dated for about 2 months and they've been married for 19 years. Also, my parents tried to have their first kid what it feels like forever, specifically 5 years. It got to the point where my parents get emotional seeing a kid with their parents (for my mom, a diaper can make her emotional). My dad's a patient person and i'm grateful. So yea, they're very in love with eachother because people here mostly marry because they want to have descendants of their own flesh and blood. 5 years after their marriage they had me, and 3 years later, they had my brother.

[@Jblah]

@@geniusdork1476 Thats wassup bless

[@geniusdork1476]

@@Jblah thanks lol

[@tsarsrule5]

True

[@Smilelikeyou-mean-it]

I loved what she said about how it felt like someone died and you got to know a new person. That's exactly how I felt when someone close to me came out as trans. They're still the same person yes, but your whole image of them changes and they begin to explore sides of themself that were previously not "allowed" due to percieved gender. I grieved for the person I felt like I lost, but I also gained another whom I love just as deeply.

[@phucanhell]

That pause at the end.... is everything... and props to the dude who stood up. Ted talks are about making you question your paradigm and she nailed it!

[@andreaexceedsrubies]

My soulmate encouraged me to explore all types of music when we met as a teen. Recently after almost 30 years, I made sure that he knew that he is inspiring. Love him :)

[@CoffeewithCarey]

I worry that people who believe in soulmates don’t have the same willingness to work at relationships and don’t put effort into developing great connections because they are waiting for perfection. In fact, I made an entire KZbin episode on the subject because it’s been such a big issue for a few clients.

[@MO-ws2tn]

Yes. Dr Ramany has a great video about the construct of soul mates as seen through narcissism. Great episode. I'll watch your's.

[@trenchrock]

I think it's because there is a misconception that a soulmate is supposed to complete you or be just like you or be exactly what you want. The reality is that most people wont even meet their soulmate until they have worked on themselves. A true soulmate doesn't complete you because you should be complete when you meet them. You have to do the work to get to that place on your own. In addition, some people feel like they don't need/want a soulmate and all this means is that you are meant to do more important things in your life journey than focus on giving/receiving love. It is not narcissistic to want a partner to share your life with that makes you feel fulfilled and appreciated, that is called a healthy relationship. And you in turn can open your heart too and fill their cup as well. If you don't believe in soulmates or you think they are unhealthy, you should do some more research on the topic and perhaps the difference between karmic/soulmate relationships

[@hamzaawan6489]

@@MO-ws2tn Hey, can you share the link?

[@crosssection6289]

Much respect!

[@Ilikefrogs..]

Seriously, this would make a great movie.

[@jomontanee]

And it will be titled "Big Little Lie"

[@raghebabunahla115]

Check out The Danish Girl

[@misbahnoor8045]

GwendolynRaine lol the Danish Girl!! There is already a movie like this.

[@aylin534]

Theres a movie called Lawrence, Anyways

[@gracebeautyxox]

Do you know what's even more of a plot twist? I just looked up her Facebook to see if she publically posts about their journey and she seems to have transitioned to male! I would love to hear a second part of the Ted Talk.

[@Tinyfaeries]

Interesting that her soulmate changed sex but is still her soulmate. I read somewhere that your soulmate is not necessarily your spouse, but can also be your best friend. Great sacrifice she made for her partner. Really love story. Would like to know how she knew her soulmate would be an INFJ, though.

[@Queenme1-t3q]

Merisha De Voux yep! Some ppls soul mate is their Mother, twin, cousin, or brother. Soul mates do not have to be in a romantic relationship. It’s like Gail & Oprah. Lol

[@Julsies7]

she most likely is an enfp, another type within the myers briggs system. enfp's and infj's are said to be soulmates due to the arrangement of their cognitive functions. if she had taken the test and gotten that she was an enfp, she would have known to look for an infj.

[@daydreaminhoney]

Your soulmate is not necessarily a spouse or even a romantic partner. They may simply be your best friend. Gender doesn't have anything to do with one's soul.

[@KreativeKay]

Merisha De Voux soul mates don't always end up being romantic partners.

[@billycrystal4724]

I read that entp which is what i am are supposed to match wonderfully with infj

[@qwertyy8287]

I think everyone is confused, Speaker found her soulmate the speaker did marry a man, they were together for 9 years, her husband wasn’t happy as a male, Transitioned to female, Speaker was confused during the process, But wanted to make sure that her soulmate felt complete, Speaker already knew that her love for her partner was strong and still felt at peace

[@jaeking609]

She put words so nicely to what I’ve been trying to say for months which is if we couldn’t see or hear anything, I could find her and identify her, and there’s no other feeling I’d rather have

[@cielolopez3019]

My best friend is my soulmate! He’s the best and most amazing person I’ve ever in my life. I knew it the moment I met him. It was just a vibe and it changed me forever. He’s my one and only and the only person that has and will ever make me feel the way. He’s my best friend, my parter, and my soulmate. ❤️

[@cclemonff]

Why are there so many ppl in the comments talking about betrayal and lying when none of us know the whole story? Being trans isn't always sth ppl just know, they have to at least first come out to themselves before coming out to their SO, neither of those are easy. So I don't think it's fair to just assume she wanted to betray or lie to her wife.

[@laylette4017]

I needed this video more than anything right now. The absolute love of my life came out to me two days ago and God it's been a train-wreck and a rollercoaster and a crying-fest at the same time.

[@worldcup2025]

How is the going Laylette?

[@HeloNova]

Love, no matter what. I love it! What is a soulmate? The real challenge within. Who didn't see it coming? Did the title confused us, or intentionally misled, or was so that we question our own beliefs of what a real soulmate is for ourselves? Or do we want to fit societal rules first, then find a soulmate? Are societal rules our soulmates? She has got the challenges herself that made her to question what a soulmate really is, her own concept and not a societal norm, the practical guide for exploring within and not the societal box. Genius. Standing ovation!

[@lillymargrett]

In a large age gap relationship. 26 years. Legal. But I love his soul, who he is on the inside. I've been so worried about the outside perspective on our situation and it really takes a toll on you. Live your life FOR YOU. You are the one at the end of the day, on your death bed, looking back on life. Live it for you. No matter what, people are going to judge you on anything, whether it's good judgement or bad. I needed this video, thank you.

[@larasmith2931]

🦋when I met my husband it was like a moth to a flame. I am thankful that God put the fire in my soul to never settle for butterflies

[@brittp.5916]

Oh my. I'm bisexual and I would still have a really hard time with that.

[@Brynwyn123]

It gets easier.

[@hanimay6843]

Are you sure you're bi? Cause you definitely don't sound like it if your partner's gender would make you take issue. I'm pan and I wouldn't care.

[@lumvilumvi]

Hamm Hamm Well, there’s a reason why you’re a PAN, and why they’re BI?

[@kidzeezy0112]

@@lumvilumvi I still do not get it tbh, nowadays TWO genders act like they are from a different world, the real causes are just psychological "changes/impacts" that affected them during their childhood/teenage years that left a mark in their subconsciousness and how they "view" themselves.

[@binaryflip6129]

Hamm Hamm They know how they feel and who they are. You ain’t here to question it. Bi people can be more attracted to one gender than another. And if you fell in love with a man, you love that man, and it can be really hard to understand the change.

[@sharonshaoxuanzhu9858]

i do hope in the soon future, I would find someone (my soul mate) this speaker is indeed brave and confident!

[@starlightwhispers6781]

It's the person you are when you're around them- if they bring out the best in you; you've found them.

[@lamusic1996]

Lovely talk. Thank you for pointing out that we all have souls we forget about by putting ppl in the boxes created by our society. You will be aware of your soul by touching someone’s soul only.

[@anewloveofficial9137]

There's a point in our life where we don't believe in soulmate anymore because we tend to attract the wrong person in our life but don't lose your hope because anyone who've gone through a lot of failed relationships will only lead them to the right person in the future.

[@2126Eliza]

I hope it doesn't take a lot!

[@keonagirl435]

A New Love Off. I hope YOU'RE right! I'd love ASAP to get that!

[@euphoria156]

Completely FALSE --> "anyone who've gone through a lot of failed relationships will only lead them to the right person in the future." That person doesn't know what he/she's looking for or dont know how to judge ppl. And might never find a soul mate.

[@2126Eliza]

euphoria156 They're learning and maintaining their faith in love, whereas narcissists and users can never find real love and they can't improve either

[@JustinePretorious]

Excellent talk! Ashley thank you for being brave and sharing your story!

[@TheDryadsBubble]

This woman is so beautiful. I truly don't know if I could remain with my partner if he was transgender- not because of his soul, I love his soul, but a relationship is also about the physical. I have great transgender friends but I love MALE bodies and that physical relationship is what binds a couple...

[@IndianaJonas96]

TheDryadsBubble No its not. It might be like that for you, thats fine, but there are plenty of healthy relationships that dont revolve around a physical "bond" or whatever

[@ycintron100]

Thank you for sharing your story, and trying to work this tragedy and trying to make sense of it and trying to make the best out of it. But this is not acceptable. im so sorry to hear your story and devastating pain and shock. The rug has being taken out from under you. I can not even imagine how i would have reacted but i see more and more men coming out of the closet. So nothing will surprise but totally would shock my world. It can take a person a few years to get out of shock. My question to you, What happened to Your dreams and vision of your future with your husband. You did not sign up for this circus. when you come out of this shock and this mess and stop justifying his choices that were not yours you will not need to convince yourself and others with pseudo eloquent words . As a woman that has read the Bible and went to an Ivy League school you have a disadvantage, the Bible says that the things of the Spirit are foolishness to the intellect. You are maybe too smart for your own good. Because you are going to your head. This is a spiritual battle not intellectual. In the book of Ephesians 6:10 talks to us about this war you are in right now. And you are not prepared. Put the Armor of God. Google it. And fight. I pray and ask God to reveal His presence as you seek Him, or you both seek His presence. If your husband doesn't want to , because he is being the target, you can do it by yourself. I would go away on a spiritual retreat and weep before God to help me and guide me. A man is the key and the woman is the key hole in the door knob.very simple. We were fearfully made by God . People are confused when they depart from God. He is telling God he made a mistake and doesn't love himself and the way he was created. There is nothing that can substitute a love making session with a man who is healthy, strong and has all his parts. I read that in California , the main hospital which did the "removing " remodeling "of the penis" as such, stopped doing it due to the devastating psychological impact, physical changes etc not expected or anticipated on those patients that thought they did not wan t to have a penis. 100% regretted the procedures. I dont know what they were thinking. Even lesbians buy fake penises .we live in a very sad ,confused and spiritually lost society, without God we are trying to make up our own rules as we go. He created us for His purposes , for us to glorify His name. You are a beautiful compassionate woman that has being deceived, lied to and made accomplice of unnatural , ungodly mentality. He needs help from a christian counselor who knows not only the word of God but also has experienced God and lives for God. This is not about church. John 10:10 says , Satan came to lie, kill and destroy but Jesus came to give us life in abundance". He is the way, the truth ...you shall not have other Gods besides me". Ask yourself , who is your God? Your husband? Your relationship? The first commandment is You shall love your God above all things...dont settle , this is sooo wrong. You can still be friends . But you are right Satan may have killed your husband , he died, your marriage died, and you are in shock.

[@TheDryadsBubble]

Yeah, friendship, not romantic partnership. If you are an asexual person, then sure. If you are not asexual, then sexuality is absolutely important- to deny that is to deny a huge part of yourself. There are lots of great bonds, absolutely- those are friendships, not romantic relationship (discluding asexual people, as I said). The woman here never claimed to be asexual, and my comment was my own perspective.

[@sparkleevenmore9638]

TheDryadsBubble - same. My ex boyfriend (now girlfriend- lol - recently transitioned in her mid-50s) from high school always knew, and has been married in the early 1980s. Her wife always knew. She is not a lesbian but they look like a same sex couple when they go out now. I couldn't do that. God I loved him.

[@HelloKittyFreak96]

TheDryadsBubble i understand completely, i love that my husband and the love of my life is a Man period. his soul and body draw me to him i feel protected and embraced :)

[@chelseabunker2391]

This was so powerful. Thank you for being vulnerable in front of an entire audience and sharing such a huge confusing emotional thing with such grace humility and honesty

[@maryannemuriithi5652]

"People have a presence in the world, they have a look...that are outward facing, that everybody identifies them by and puts them into boxes...that's how we categorize people when we get to know them...but underneath there's a soul that's deeper, stronger and much more identifiable than that presence..." Good stuff!!!

[@emc5807]

Soul mate? That’s clickbait. Should be called “My husband is now my wife”

[@neberboi]

It would probably get more clicks too

[@swagatabhattacharjee4151]

So,the main mould is still same.

[@KaelDenna]

"and i'm her husband now" (ashley transitiones to ethan j clift. look it up on twitter)

[@jomontanee]

"And I am her husband now." (Real life plot twist)

[@chewychibi03]

To the comments saying that she didn’t seem happy: sharing such an intimate story is emotionally taxing. Even in this “progressive” era, there are still many people that are transphobic and it can seriously uproot one’s previously comfortable lifestyle. Towards the end her temperament is more vulnerable than lighthearted at the beginning. I wish her and her partner lifelong happiness.

[@febnareheem4932]

What a sentient loving soul you are. May your love stay blessed.

[@richardfoleyrfi]

Interesting talk about facing changes to your life and your relationship/s driven by your partner's urges and feelings. Much kudos to you, Ashley, for accepting your partner's changes and standing by them. Most people cannot do this.

[@billwong6077]

wow... very deep and profound talk. You are very brave! I give you props as a fellow TEDx Talker on how you shared your subject.

[@waszka73]

Sometime we're not comfortable with the person look but you still should give this person a chance - don't be shallow. I met my soulmate over 8 years ago and it wasn't in a "package" I would describe attractive to me, but on some deeper level I kinda new that this person is what I want, someone I can trust, understand me and I understand her. Life is weird and wonderful - don't hate, just love. Only positive memories counts - make them.

[@Halo-li8hg]

What a beautiful story. Just goes to show you fall in love with your partners soul not their looks or gender.

[@Kevin-nb1et]

no

[@scarletradiopodcast]

Your honesty is immaculate

[@kimberlybrockman6230]

Omg she has me in tears! What a beautiful human being. That's absolutely what love looks like.

[@BlueyedFolk]

I feel her so much. As she stands so confident and sure of herself. So eloquent and open minded! And we have the same last name :]

[@dharlydelapena3713]

Casually drops in "went to an ivy league school" 😂

[@lexiejurado6952]

Dharly Dela Pena and then dropped out.

[@nahmos658]

🙄

[@emilythesongbird2306]

Beautiful talk Ashley! Thank you for your honesty and courage. What a gift you have in your relationship to grow and deepen the love beyond gender boundaries. Thank you.

[@jomontanee]

"beyond gender boundaries"..... nope, this marriage is built on a big big lie.

[@kanna312]

'Built,' not broken.

[@adamsthomasgreene5653]

It's nice to really be around beautiful women with Intelligence and an open mindset. Kudos to you all.

[@marionmoore4607]

You are not the only one to have gone through this, You won’t be the last. You have been open to the World about it . Very brave soul. Bless you. It’s your Husband you fell in love with and absolutely you still love each other that’s why you are the soul mates that you are or you would have runaway. 🦋🦋😇😇🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@lovepellegrini6541]

Soulmate/twin flame is a meeting of the minds - intellect and intelligence is so much more attractive than looks - thank god my husband is super intelligent!

[@alvongientz2207]

This is not about finding a soulmate, it's about an individual coming to terms with their soulmate not being ideal.

[@carmenbenitez141]

Well, now she is a male so I guess is payback! Or simply made for each other!

[@dellavest9269]

Very brave and honest. Hard to lose your spouse to another woman, especially if that woman is himself. No one ever says how much horror is involved with true love...and the fact that she loves her "soul mate" enough to let the physical manifestation of that person go and accept the new normal so that her love can be truly who they are, and for them to be happy, speaks volumes for her character, and the depth of the love she has for her person. She is a tough person. I wish them both very well.

[@sophiamac9100]

So, a soulmate is someone who keeps the truth from you, hides their true feelings, allows you to assume a reality that is not even there ... For me a soul mate is about honesty regardless of genders.

[@juliecostello42]

This must have been really difficult to speak about publicly, kudos to this very strong and courageous woman

[@hauwarango1111]

I know of a man who could help you restore back your relationship either your ex or soulmate

[@hauwarango1111]

He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex partner three days ago without delay

[@hauwarango1111]

Whtsaap him"**

[@hauwarango1111]

±2348140799323⏭⏭💕💕

[@hauwarango1111]

✚２３４８１４０7９９３２３

[@DVTOM]

My wife told me I wasn't her soulmate and that her ex bf was. Changed my life forever. Still haven't got over it.

[@mabsvaz2292]

I want to find my soulmate. Someone who will not just communicate wid my brain but also even without words will see and understand my soul.

[@heatherrussell2634]

Oh wow. That’s true unconditional kind of love

[@mamaortiz5058]

I met my soulmate...it's a crazy feeling that can't be explained.

[@Diaz-z9d]

Finding your soulmate is going thru the good and bad together crying and all.. Theirs ups and downs.. Just be you

[@conversationswithkat5710]

We have been programmed to think that we need someone else, but we don't. I'm very happy by myself, and I don't need anyone else. The pressure to have another person in your life is unfair, and should be an individual's choice, not the choice of others.

[@fiflag]

I don't believe in soulmates, but I think it's beautiful how strong this woman's love is for her wife.

[@Aquarius7172]

Love it ! great job:) we are always scared of what other people will think, it's so sad. We have reached freedom when we no longer care and follow our heart and soul. Inspirational

[@jenloveslife8890]

you are such a strong person and your partner, too! great you deal with it together as a team! I love to hear this!

[@trellises]

Whoa, that was a very, very, unexpected twist! I was thinking, maybe the spouse would cheat on her, or maybe die young, or something. Wasn't expecting this!

[@kagi333]

For those who did not understand: all the time people are saying that they want a 'soul' and they are looking for one, when in fact they only look at the bodies. What she wanted to convey is that we should focus on the inside of a person, not on the outside, and as trans people and other types suffer prejudice, she put everything together to convey a great message.

[@larissa8326]

Me in the end: "NO, COMEBACK!! How could I find my soulmate?!! I'm a poor lost soul in this great world"

[@TowerBridge-LondonBridge]

not really, you are not the only person struggling in this world.