Healing from Burnout | Why I Nearly Quit Everything

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WHO AM I?
Hey there, I’m Cinzia DuBois. I’m a part-time, self-funded PhD student and KZbinr, Podcaster and writer. I’ve been creating videos for over thirteen years. I discuss productivity, personal development, PhD, academia and mental well-being on this channel. On my main channel, I talk about all things dark and ancient history, literature and folklore.

[@weing]

You can run and go and do as you please. But as my therapist once told me : Wherever you go. There you are.

[@davidlee6720]

Therapist = 'the rapist' - hiding in plain sight- be careful what you wish for!

[@francescocavassana244]

Is your therapist Buckaroo Banzai?

[@bimbobaggins4521]

We’re all so glad you decided to stay with us. 🖤 xoxo

[@currentlyearth8867]

Yeah, but that first minute sounded so awesome.

[@CocoKitty19]

I was burnt out at the end of my master's degree : too much work, depression / anxiety and autism that were undiagnosed, my boyfriend was away for work. I realized I had a problem when I could not focus on my paper (or anything) and started crying at my desk every single day. I did not know what I was doing, why i was doing it or why i was in a master's program. I wanted to quit two months before the end but I was able to power through thanks to my wonderful professors ! I feel like I'm still traumatized from this time in my life. Thank you, Cinzia, for speaking up about such an ENORMOUS issue, especially in today's fast society.

[@joevictor53]

This is me right now. I'm doing my master's. I've finished all my modules. I just have the dissertation to finish and then I'm done. But I keep wanting to quit. I feel like I've done 90% of the work and it's so stupid to want to quit so close to the end but I just feel so done with everything

[@afgyhujkj4765]

My husband experienced the same thing during his PhD. You aren't alone!

[@robgau2501]

I definitely understand where you're coming from. Anxiety and depression have been my closest companions for far too long. I admire this move you've made. Instead of running again, you dug in and worked with the problem. That's brave and strong so give yourself credit for that. And, from someone on the outside, you're doing a great job.

[@lemmon3]

Wow. You posted this video on the same day that I demoted myself at work due to burnout. Of those six burnout factors… I’ve been dealing with all six. 🙃 What a time to be alive!

[@ceooflonelinessinc.267]

I have also been feeling burned out for years. But unfortunately my minimum wage jobs, social isolation and poverty does not allow me to take any kind of break from work. I working six days - if not seven days - a week. I live form paycheck to paycheck. I live in a tiny, old and noiys appartment. I did not have any friends in years, I also never had a any kind of romantic contact. I never had a date, a hug or something like a realationship. I am completely alone. If I would quit my joby to heal from Burnout, I would probably become immediately homeless.

[@spirituallysafe]

I care about you and everyone else here. Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life; no-one comes to God except through Me (John 14:6). Jesus wants you to to cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Only by repenting of sin and trusting in Jesus to guide your life are you spiritually safe for all eternity. I encourage you to prayerfully read The Holy Bible. Peace to you.

[@hallucinatrix9341]

thanks for sharing this cinzia

[@NatalieAuroraS]

Thank you for making this video Cinzia.

[@norakrissford4171]

Thank you for sharing your experience ❤

[@lukeoluoch1617]

Thank you for this, Cinzia

[@misterOphilies]

Always aptly timed. Thank you, Cinzia.

[@winterburden]

Thank you so much Cinzia, take care!

[@CarolineOceanaRyan999]

Brilliant -- thank you, Cinzia! 😊✌

[@darklittlepeople]

all the best wishes for a prompt recovery. sending love

[@lindanelson6615]

I noticed that, when you talked about reading 50 pages for pleasure and playing D and D, you were smiling! That says a lot. You are an exceptional person.

[@HerPaperParadise]

I'm right there with you. This year has been one of unexpected hits and personal discovery while trying to pull myself out of a major depression. A depression caused by burnout. I do hope we both continue on the positive track to better our lives.

[@Kasia_Luna]

I feel this video so much, it almost sends a chill through my bones watching. I’ve been overworking myself recently too and I think when we pursue creative projects such as KZbin, with little to no reward it can feel extremely draining. Especially when there’s financial turmoil as well, it can almost feel like a prison. 😢 I am so happy that you’ve decided to stay with us and that you’re crafting more time for self care. I think what helps me with burnout is reframing the way I look at success. Instead of looking at numbers and stats, I try to look at my videos or projects as a little library of thoughts and as a time capsule for myself (and potentially loved ones) Taking care of my emotional energy has also been really important. On days where it feels really overwhelming and impossible to work, I remind myself that it’s okay. We all need to recharge and regain that energy in order to pour that energy into something magical and wonderful. Anyway excellent video. I can’t wait to see more of what you create. ❤

[@jessicabebenek6471]

I found your videos recently and I just wanted to say that I really relate to your videos. I so deeply appreciate the time you put into making them. As a fellow solo, burned-out human, it is so important to know that I am not alone

[@TheSilveryew]

I'm so glad you have decided ton stay and embrace the things you love

[@subVersionband]

Found this really useful! Can relate to the need for actual happiness in life more than money

[@lesliemoiseauthor]

I'm so glad you made another choice. ❤. Once again, a clear sighted, thorough discussion.

[@GinaStanyerBooks]

Great video and great way to incorporate your sponsor. I really appreciate you sharing some of the hard things that you have gone through. You have grown so much over the years I've been following you here!

[@2009ashmi]

I can so relate to this video. I'm suffering from burnout myself not only from my former job but from family matters as well. I'm also working through it and this vid made me feel less alone plus I too have a wonderful therapist who I just love! Thank you again for this video Cinzia and I also adore your podcast. Keep taking care of you! Much love! 💕💕💕

[@joanasa8674]

Cinzia, you're so wonderful and brave. You're a big inspiration for me and it's easy to look at you and think "oh, how it must be nice to be a successful youtuber and make a living out of that" or "how I wish I had so many books!!"... and then yes, everybody struggles, even the ones you look up as role models. Just wanted to say once again that I admire your work very much and I'm glad you keep making videos for us. Thank you ❤

[@ArturoAraujoPhD]

Your experience resonates with mine and your video is very helpful, Cinzia. You are very brave for sharing this with us. It will make a difference. I wish you peace and healing, and send you a big hug.

[@rayneljred]

Yay new video! I'm a huge fan of your content. :)

[@minagrey9584]

I felt like i could hear my own voice speaking when you said you were not doing what you loved to do, (reading books and writing stories). I used to do that so much when i was younger and loved every second of it and still trying to recapture that feeling and those loves today. Work has also been difficult lately for a myriad of reasons, though it isn’t because I don’t enjoy it. It has just been a very introspective year. I recently found your channel and really enjoy what you have to say and I appreciate your presence here. Take care!

[@inesmarques5156]

Amazing video!

[@robcreel4257]

I'm new to your channel(s). I enjoy your work, but had no idea you struggle with these issues. I'm glad you have found help and are working through them. I'm also really glad you are continue to post videos. I would never have found you channels had you deleted everything. You deserve more subscribers. Take care!

[@kathleenwhowell5731]

I applaud you for talking about this it really helps us understand what others go through thanks again for your kind words. Have a bless and great week keep reading

[@tylerreed7615]

I’m also beginning to struggle with burnout. I haven’t really felt like myself in a long time, and I think my writing is beginning to suffer for it. I used to love writing and now I can barely do it, every piece feels forced and I’m never satisfied with it. I don’t really do any of the things that I used to and when I do, I don’t have that same sense of joy anymore. I thank you for sharing your story, it’s always nice to know you’re not alone. I hope we all get through this and out on the other side safely ❤

[@maddiesteves8728]

So glad i clicked one of your videos. You tell it how it is but yet in such a soothing, delightful way. So much ive fallen asleep watching your vids. Keep up the good work. You got this!❤😊

[@commoneuropeanstarling]

This is excellent and is helpful for people from all walks of life and all ages. Thank you, Cinzia!!

[@ceegee1706]

Learning D&D is such a big thing! It is so intimidating to start (I don't know what stressed me more, the social aspect, the performance part, or the math, haha), so making that effort for yourself says so much about your renewed dedication to joy. So happy you're still here.

[@88Marster]

Thank you for sharing this, I didn’t realise that my love energy might be burn out, so I will be getting that looked at, thank you.

[@erikretana1744]

Hi, Cinzia. As always such a timely and relevant topic. I like how you're not trying to sugarcoat the topic nor are overtly pessimistic about it. Such a nuanced perspective is very welcome, so thank you for that. As someone who just turned 30 and once had academic aspirations I can only relate with some of your experiences. I'm glad to hear that it didn't come to a massive breakdown in your life, and that you have found some enjoyment in it as of late. Take care and your videos are greatly appreciated.

[@KatieM786]

I agree, we need more directness in the world without all the constant softening that has become the fashion. For you, OP, I just wanted to say that it's never too late to act on academic aspirations. My mother started uni in her 50s after her divorce and I graduated from an MA as a mature student (with no undergraduate first degree) the year I turned 30. It can be done, don't give up! You are awesome 😎👍

[@rylyss7836]

I can relate..( You're so strong and inspiring! I wish you all the best ❤

[@timw8398]

Yes ma'am! I will be respectful! As a father of a thirty year old daughter, your honesty and integrity are inspiring. I just discovered you through your lady of the library content thanks to the brilliant and maddening algorithm. Well done young lady!! Bravo!! I shared your video regarding "ruining your life" with her this evening with the message; "for your consideration." She is a college graduate who made some changes in the last couple of years and i hope she finds it valuable. Rest assured I find you valuable, and will be following along to both of your channels as much as I can. Thank you! May all good fortune come your way!❤

[@isobel5297]

Just found your videos today and they’ve been really interesting and helpful. I’m currently on sick leave due to anxiety, depression, and possible ADHD (being assessed), I’m a solicitor and the guilt and shame of feeling like I’ve failed is pretty overwhelming.

[@AF1MIDS]

Hi Cinzia nice to meet you hope your day is going well!

[@stephenclayton7052]

I love this video it's been really informative. I'm very much an empath and always struggle to set boundaries. I hope I can put to use some advice and stop trying to hold onto friendships that I know won't exist without me being so accommodating.

[@coffeewiththeunknown8302]

I really like how you make your videos in essay format

[@smaranda235]

Really nice video, thank you for sharing this with us. I wish you the best in your journey and good luck with D&D, it's an amazing game :)

[@Steve13C]

You are an amazing human being. Your small steps are so important, big changes are born from little ones. Platonic hugs, if that's not too forward.

[@valslife2541]

I just found you today November 1,2023 and I’m binge watching your videos 😁 your awesome, your open and honest and very relatable. Thank you for being a KZbinr Just be you ,do what you do ,keep up the good work !! I really appreciate you

[@OnceandFutureShane]

That's really cool that you're trying out D&D! I hope you have fun with your first campaign!

[@sukhigoomer9804]

Cinzia, I really enjoy watching your videos. It doesn’t matter to me if the videos are a little longer or shorter than usual. I find your perspectives interesting and refreshing. I’m so happy that you’ve decided to set some boundaries around creating KZbin videos so that you can have some time to enjoy yourself outside of work. Have you considered creating a Patreon account?

[@olegwiththeknowledge1729]

I like you and your topics!

[@Amadeu-pi9pz]

I sincerely believe you will be so famous, because your videos are amazing.

[@icaro_andstuff]

Dnd is great! I hope you find a groop soon!

[@Dragonvalor53]

I wish I lived in Scotland. I'd be happy to join you in playing some DnD! I'm glad to hear that things are getting easier for you.

[@peternakitch4167]

Glad you didn’t do it. Your comments about wanting to leave your life behind and start again struck a cord. This is something I considered in the aftermath of my mother’s death - I was close to her, loved her dearly and the last few years of her life were hard for all concerned. It was traumatic and tragic and once she was gone all I wanted to was run or dig a hole and bury myself, but I didn’t because, for myself, I thought that if I ran and stopped the trauma and the exhaustion would have travelled with me to wherever that other place was. So I stood my ground… It’s taken five years but I have to some degree come out the other side. Your remarks show me that my urge to leave was a normal response to my trauma. There’s more to do, but eventually a few rays of light did pierce the gloom. Thanks again.

[@Lillz-33]

You’re soo inspiring

[@audreyflett8719]

You are amazing 😍

[@holyfreak8]

I recently have this realisation and decided to slow down and concentrate on the things I love. Thank God, my job is one of them and I return fully to my other passions that were sidelined because of other things filling my time.

[@Meredith36]

Keep taking care of you. Remember, you matter 💚

[@estherchandy6292]

Your emotive description of the experience told in beautiful prose (hard experience, masterful communication) helps me understand myself. As a finance professional, let me advise you that you've created an asset out of thin air. It would not have existed but for you. Do not destroy it on a whim. Please. Keep it in abeyance....a lot of KZbin personalities do. But since you've connected so well with your audience , I think they'll wait for you. I know I will . ❤

[@obiwanobiwan13]

As a fellow PhD student who flew from LA to London to work on it and deals with monetary and work and all manner of other issues--I definitely get it, we all do, you're not at all alone or invalid or wrong for feeling that way... *And I and everyone else here are SO grateful you continue to share with us.* Always put your own wellbeing first, but always know you have not just mere statistical, analytical "viewers" here, but an audience that genuinely empathizes. listens, and cares as much as any through-the-screen viewership can. Take care.

[@evacraig1230]

Cinzia, I just want you to know that all the extra effort you have been investing into your channel, has made my life SO much richer. I am planning to write more directly soon, but you got me hooked with Hekate… (a key puzzle piece in my own view of feminism as an over-educated mother). It has been a treat to get to know more about you as a person. I can imagine the strain of it all , yet you are enriching our lives nonetheless! Thank you, so much! Please don’t stop if you can bear it- this road leads somewhere great! I will go to your Patreon next! ❤Eva

[@ashleymcgee3536]

D&D is so fun! I have two groups for table top right now! It’s great for belonging to a community!

[@goldenhippie1984]

Hugs. I've been burned out the last 3 decades as a mother. It's real. Most of my kids are adults now, but I didn't realize I was burnout until, they slowly became adults

[@sambailie4773]

I know what you're talking about Cinzia.... I try to be everything to everyone, never feel my best is enough and all that whilst going through perimenopause. I was having therapy but the local trust here ran out of money. I have really thrived by seeing my worth, not in my successes but in the fact Christ died for me on tbe cross and I am enough and God loves me....i sought Jesus and got saved.... it's the best decision I've ever made. Its hard being a perfectionist. I come from an abusive childhood and that's taken its toll. We will get there. So glad you didn't leave. We all adore you. Xx

[@RM-we7px]

You are not alone. Just be yourself. You are stronger than you know.

[@MonstersofHope]

Thanks.

[@NatalieM123]

I definitely relate to what you said. For me, I had to quit my job; the stress was literally going to kill me. It was a bummer because I loved the actual job but the environment was SO unhealthy.

[@colinsmith2672]

So sorry to hear that, Cinzia. But yeah, gaming does help me unwind. I do Warhammer models so I find the building and painting is my happy time.

[@deyaniragomez7169]

Thank you so much for this video! I am so hopeful for the day that academia stops hiding behind "rigorous program" and starts seeing that it's a "burnout and squeeze all the money out of the students' program." I would love academia to promote curriculums that have realistic expectations and deadlines, where the physical and mental health are taken seriously. Our health and well-being should not be seen as a suitable sacrifice for a career. It's been such a journey for me to put boundaries with my doctorates for the sake of my health and burnout became oh so real.

[@dookyy]

Merci!

[@SelfHelpShelf]

thank you so much x

[@gregorkippa6399]

Aw youre in scotland,same:) near glasgow :)

[@nicky_bee]

I'm finally starting therapy next month. Most important decision of this year

[@ThaetusZain]

If you like crafts, something that goes hand in hand with tabletop rpgs (you mentioned D&D) is terrain/scenery building. It's kinda satisfying to turn a bunch of trash into terrain for a game. Though it takes time and patience. And space... it's the main reason I moved to 15mm miniatures.

[@theladyamalthea16]

In all due respect, great video but better help is probably my least favored company to see promoted on valid mental health videos. My experience of better help was someone who came from a content creators platform, using their promo code and got burned. I cycled through three therapists all of whom seemed to not remember our last sessions, have suffient understanding, or just didn't listen. I was given the runaround and left in a rut with that company. Folks I know who have tried it have not had positive experiences or had a therapist juggling too many clients to actually be helpful. It is not as accessable or helpful as it seems and definately not as affordable as made out to be. The therapist I had the longest (a month) asked me basic intake questions every time we had a session despite taking excessive notes, and typing more than actually listening, and having absolutely no feed back for my issues. I was talking to a forgetful keyboard.

[@andijonesgrif]

Caregiver burnout. Nothing to do with capitalism, no ability to make choices, no escape. Thank you for your advice.

[@qtfy]

i made the mistake of trying to make 4+ projects alone (graphic design, video editing, youtube channel and game deving) while still in high school last year none of these gave any rewards and i felt like a failure each day i tried to do better, eventually i just stopped everything, even going to school now i'm basically doing nothing, i just can't anymore. i don't know how much longer i will keep like this, all i do is read a few books and talk to a few friends, nothing productive and i almost completely lost this school year at this point

[@Sara.Brandt.Autorin]

In the past I used to „joke“ about burnout. Like everybody is tired some times. But in June this year I actually was diagnosed with burnout. And this feeling, when burnout really his you with all the exhaustion, questioning yourself and everything else- it is not comparable to anything I experienced before, and it is in no way to take easy or to be seen as a joke or trend. I still am struggling and I am far away from the energy level I had before the burnout.

[@cory99998]

Was at my lowest / most burnt out this summer as I was coming to terms with my career going in a path I didnt enjoy and grappling with gender identity / transitioning. Definitely wanted to go to a new city and start from scratch, just take another go at life without the weight of who I used to be. Eventually I stopped feeling that way as I gained alignment in my career again and accepted my gender identity and started hormones. Everything got easier once I accepted my current place in life and realized what I needed to do to have the trajectory I truly wanted.

[@williamschacht7076]

Yes, I agree with you on the burnout. A PhD is definitely a beast. On top of all of the mundane stuff, they're really expecting one to produce some type of original work.

[@LucasSouza]

I just completed my moving. Didn't change my nome, but definitely my persona.

[@lampjerulez]

OMG you are so right, people are thinking they have a burn out when they just feel sluggy for a couple weeks. Damn, when u have a REAL burn out you cant even dress yourself, do groceries or be even capable of leaving the house at all. (ofcourse this is different for everyone but these are examples i experienced myself) . A bad burn out isnt fixed with a couple weeks or a few months '''vacation of work'' it takes years to recover, and you will never feel/return to your old self again. i hate those shorts when people saying: ''i have a burn out but people didnt take it serieus, i took 3 weeks of and started a new job'' My dear, if u can start a new job after 3 weeks (or even 3 months) you didnt had a burn out, you where maybe a bit stressed and needed a break, but thats not a burn out.

[@ItsTooLatetoApologize]

Hello, great video. I wanted to add that burnout is not a result of capitalism…I don’t mean that people in capitalist societies don’t feel burn out, but that claiming this as the problem can remove the power from people to be able to address their burn out. By placing the blame on something external, it removes one’s ability to fix the problem. And I know people who don’t live in capitalist societies now and in history that have experienced burnout. The list of factors you gave is correct and the thing one can focus on as they are all often in our own control. Thank you for this video. It was wonderful and I hope you feel the release of tension you are hoping for.

[@GeoffreyCaesarSolicitor]

"Getting up earlier" made me laugh because it reminded me of a particularly tough law lecturer I had during my undergraduate degree who, in one lecture, robustly advised us that if we were struggling with workload we should try sleeping less and getting up earlier. Slightly unconventional advice but I actually took it to heart and it worked 😂

[@jonathanlewis453]

Risky advice insofar as loss of sleep in particular, can contribute adversely to the onset of depression. What he was doing was advising you to take your health closer to the wire. I would say, if you cant work harder, work smarter. I would say an hour on something calling for concentration in the early morning, is worth two into the evening. The same paradox operates with one's health as applies to the development and administration of a business - this is to say that hard as it feels to do it, it is likely to be a sound investment to put the task in hand down from time to time in order to work on method and 'infrastructure'. Sliding into a personal deficit can take months even years but when the mind has had enough, it can start protesting in 12-24 hours. If someone is up against it, I would certainly suggest doing the homework about depression and following the advice to mitigate the risk. From a mile away, how many degrees change of course might have prevented the Titanic from hitting the iceberg?

[@rosea570]

I think we all need to find something outside of our paid jobs that we find sincerely meaningful. And it doesnt have to be purposeful or impressive to others. That's what recharges our batteries. For me, weaving is slowly pulling me out of my burn out. I can see the attraction of DnD.

[@vanessa26]

Might I suggest starting a little savings account of eg. Shorts, shorter videos to use when you need to take time out, focus on study etc. Your positive, practical and honest contribution to the mental health of others should not be underestimated.

[@macsarcule]

💜💜💜

[@mayraviscarroferrer]

I love you

[@r.a.4587]

Thanks for Sharing 🤗 I hope you buy some Chocolate or what ever you like 🤗

[@SelfHelpShelf]

thank you so much x

[@PolishWok]

I want to remind everyone that if you're going through something, I hope it gets better for you. In Islam it's said "God is with the patient" and in this life "I will surely test you with trials of loss of money, family, and home" and such things like this. I know most aren't religious, but there's a philosophy from this that non-theists can appreciate. That life is tough and it's unfair and hurts us. When I learned about this concept of "patience" and my history of Buddhist views on suffering, pain, and pleasure it just clicked with me. Be patient. Please. You can make it. 🥰

[@bubbles581]

I used to fantasize about just getting in my car and driving to another city and just leaving it all behind and starting over. Then I had a total mental breakdown and basically was forced to do just that lol

[@romanticdove]

Ive been in a deep state of burnout for 7 years now. I have no idea how to get out.

[@luizamavi2163]

This video came at a funny time in my life, right when my residency supervisor said our class's assignment was to RELAX because we were destroying ourselves , and really, turning your life into a pursuit of unattainable goals always wanting to be the best is not reasonable and is sickening in a capitalist system, We are being our own tormentors and that is terrible

[@fannyvalentin8634]

🌟

[@Lotrgecko]

💜

[@ceooflonelinessinc.267]

I am also burned out, but I am to poor to take a break.

[@robertmkorte]

🔥🐉🔥

[@SelfHelpShelf]

thank you so much x

[@teslagoth9401]

I want to live in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@koston_varjo3536]

This comment was purely made to boost engagement and to send some love

[@nicholson392005]

In your view what are the main symptoms of burnout

[@barjamlin7962]

I’d be embarrassed to say how many times I’ve seriously considered running away to someplace where even Google can’t find me.

[@qtfy]

hiya cinzia, i know you need money and all but like better help is one of the worst companies out there, there have been quite a few controversies around them. again, you need money and that's completely understandable but just in case you didn't knew anything about it

[@qtfy]

@@SelfHelpShelf that's alright, you might have had an amazing experience with it, but I'm not talking about the situation with defranco from years ago, it's from 2023 and the FTC even issued a fine against them, they are basically selling sensible information from clients for adsense

[@bregowego]

@@qtfyKZbin has literally been fined by the FTC for violating children’s privacy laws for the same reason. But yet, here we all are… still using it. Also “one of the worst companies out there”… who is your source? Yourself?