Healing from Manipulation & Betrayal: Calm Trauma Flooding and Return to Connection

[@cajuncrackerranch7990]

Thank you 🙏 Kristin! This content has been very resonating. 20 years unknowingly married to a woman clinically diagnosed with FULL spectrum Cluster B Personality Disorder with much more classifications hidden behind a well constructed mask… ALL the covert/malignant trauma of emotional, verbal, mental, physical, and financial abuse and destruction burnt images into my neural traces that have branded me for life. A human being does not “just get over it” when blindsided like I have been. It takes time… It takes patience… It takes strength… It takes courage… It takes faith… It takes hope… It takes everything you have and everything you have lost… to stay alert and to stay alive. It is a spiritual battle of the soul; armor up! Thank you 🙏 Peace ✌️

[@TheHealYourHeartCoach]

You have no idea how grateful I am that i found you on KZbin. You help me feel seen and heard and that my feelings and emotions are valid. I'm trying to get over being betrayed and abused by a neighbor in my building that i got involved in and it turned into domestic violence. It's been difficult to find a therapist that i can trust to work through this especially since almost every relationship I've had ended because of abuse

[@prw-v5i]

I got cheated on by my gf. I have to constantly tell myself if she really did care, she wouldn't have cheated on me. There is no respect at all.

[@ja9293]

I wish I had seen this 20 years ago...I've suffered for so long and only recently learning about narcissistic behavior, codependency etc. the pain....

[@mattimus1979]

I'm really enjoying you content lately. I've been trying to heal myself and get my... not-so-forthcoming unfaithful to "get it" for quite some time. Thank you for being to the point and providing useful advice for both parties. I might be an outlier here but i also enjoy the long videos. Mkst creators seem to have only 8 to 15 minute videos and, though useful, usually leave far too much to be discussed on any given topic regarding betrayal. And holy crap there are a lot of topic within betrayal.

[@lolliisabusdriver.4447]

I really appreciate your insight and information. I feel a little less crazy because of what you shared.

[@KristinSnowden]

Glad to hear it. That’s what I’m here for….

[@Epic_Lemonade]

My ex is in school to be a marriage and family therapist. I found out she was cheating at the end of July, and after a short break, I really wanted to make it work, but she rejected me. That experience broke me. I thought we'd spend our whole lives together. I don't think I'll ever trust the same, and that goes double for therapists. Despite those feelings, I just wanted to say that your videos have helped me tremendously. Thank you. Maybe I'll survive this and eventually put myself back together.

[@acerpalmatum6446]

My Dday was a month before yours. Support groups have become so important in my healing. I hope you can find one!

[@KristinSnowden]

@acerpalmatum6446 thank you for sharing that. I’m a fan of support groups as well. I’m glad they’ve helped you

[@KristinSnowden]

I can completely understand your cynicism around therapists, women, marriage, anything related to your betrayal.

[@fruity_mango6539]

Two children and 21 years together. D day was eight months ago. Now when I have a trigger, he will briefly attempt to “hold space“. But then he doesn’t want to anymore. He said that it’s already been eight months and that I need therapy Because he’s sick of having to walk on eggshells“. Then he likes to minimize and say “it was just porn”. “I only went to a strip club and got a lap dance once”. “You only caught me attempting to have one affair“ “I only kissed your friends neck, right in front of you one time” now with the fallout, and his children not respecting him, he blames me. He tells me that because I haven’t modeled respect for them, that it is my fault that they look at him the way they do. He told me that I am “manipulative and a liar, and that I gaslight him“. this was all the other night where the conversation went, when I had a trigger and brought it up to him. I ended up defending myself.

[@SoCalRegisteredNurse]

He’s the one that caused this mess. Your children are going to make up their own mind about what happened, so you aren’t forcing them to think any sort of way about it. If anyone should model behavior for their children it’s him! So far he’s modeled: cheating, lying, minimizing, objectification of women, lack of respect for his partner and her feelings, and a lack of self-control and healthy boundaries. I’m glad you stuck up for yourself

[@KS-vv3hn]

@@SoCalRegisteredNurse Very well said!!👏👏👏

[@annettealrand9736]

So very informative. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@jimobrien6903]

Kristin, thanks for your content. I appreciate watching it and value what you say. My wife cheated on my multiple times until I found out about three years ago. She trickle truthed me for the first two years or so about what went on. This of course made things even more painful for me. This past year she's been doing most things right and seeing a therapist now to figure out why all of her cheating went on. I too have been seeing a therapist. My question to you is I'd like to see a video on what to do or how long should the betrayed try to reconcile with their unfaithful partner. We're over three years since D-Day and in the past 6 months to a year I've felt myself being out of love with her due to her infidelities. I've struggled over the past 3 years with my mental health. Again, my WW is now trying to be her best for us but I am the one now who is struggling to be in the relationship due to my mental health which has suffered due to her actions.

[@terryximenez4151]

How do I survive a cheater a divorce and then he died. It's like I lost him multiple times.

[@KristinSnowden]

That is so hard. I just created a betrayed partners group called “Healing on my Own” for those who aren’t working on reconciliation but need to work on healing after betrayal. www.kristinsnowden.com/live-workshops

[@stylist62]

When he gets deported and I get my money and health back in California I will heal, Justice the trauma destroys your health and ability to work I feel like 2 people the one in my head clear thinking then the fear hurt emotions in my body, exhaustion get tired easy waking up at night.

[@liberatetheinternetempireo4137]

Is it ok to be in a relationship without intamacy or trust if im a nihilist.

[@MB-px7ml]

Can you please address hysterical bonding after betrayal in future video. Thank you very much

[@KristinSnowden]

Hi. Can you define “hysterical bonding”? I haven’t heard of that term.

[@MB-px7ml]

@@KristinSnowdenHi! “Hysterical bonding is a coping mechanism that can occur after infidelity or betrayal in a relationship. It can involve intense sexual desire and activity as a way to re-establish emotional connection with a partner”- I experienced this very recently with my spouse after experiencing his betrayal and I was struggling with why I wanted to be close to him. I had to look up why I wanted to be close to him and someone posted that term in another video I watched - I had never heard of that term

[@MarinaM-o6p]

😂 what connection ?? If he cheated he doesn’t not have a connection with the cheated on .

[@KristinSnowden]

“Return to connection” is generally applied to mean that you can work through emotional flooding and regain connection with yourself, your feelings, your instincts, and others you deem trustworthy.

[@cablenetworksystems]

I know what she might tell us without hearing. But fact remains the same even after death.

[@kmlm13]

Can this happen after only 3 months and being blamed why she cheated on her husband with me? Husband she went back to. I feel so disgusted with myself and everything that happened.