Hear Why This 1950s Catholic Girl Rebelled

This interview was conducted in 1989 as part of my effort to produce a television series on the experiences that led to the 1960s rebellion. She was one of the 180 interviews I did. Each person was carefully selected because of their ability to express their experiences. This woman went on to become a stewardess (flight attendant) and became one of the leaders in the union that gave flight attendants the rights that they currently have. I found her early life as she describes it typical for many young girls and young women at that time. #1950s #catholicschool #1950sgirls

[@ryh5169]

The problem is that people rarely examine their life or the lives of those around them -- they simply take it for granted as "common sense", and think discussion is a waste of time. This woman never really knew her parents, and never felt known by them, because they were never able to really talk. We probably know her better than they did. That's her grievance. I saw this with my own family: if you tried to have a conversation about their inner-life or why they behaved a certain way, they'd almost immediately fall into a sullen apathy of monosyllables and I-don't-knows for every question. The result was we were strangers to each other.

[@AtticusDragon]

Good points. In another interview (kzbin.info/www/bejne/p5-rpoeuodeVrNU) the speaker says something similar, regarding his relationship with his parents compared to the relationship with his own children. I've also experienced this with some of my own family members. It is disheartening, and I cannot understand the reasoning behind it. Fear? Laziness? It doesn't occur to people that a failure to communicate can lead to deep suffering, at any rate. "The result was we were strangers to each other" I know the feeling friend. Despite tragedy, the world contains beauty.

[@williamisabell9539]

Kids should be seen and not heard, I can relate.

[@foreverseethe]

Yeah but how old were you? Maybe they thought you wouldn't understand? Its a big world bub immagine explaining being stressed about a loan to an 8 year old.

[@ryh5169]

​@@foreverseethe I'm in my thirties now. My mother died 5 years ago (she was 50) and for the past 3 years I've been caring for my senile father (63 years old). If they were waiting for the right time to explain themselves, it never came.

[@peeron6829]

@throwaway account similiar experience.

[@hardthrowingrighty]

Your channel is the perfect Time Capsule. Capturing life in general back then

[@jakegraham7265]

Yeah okay Mr."Balls"

[@opentrunk]

"I wasn't allowed to play with boys..... except when I got to beat the crap out of them with my boxing gloves."

[@werrreww873]

@@HalkerVeil It was a joke u moron.

[@MilwaukeeF40C]

That was her brothers. They don't count unless she's in to that kind of thing.

[@DrumWild]

Anon Mason Being aggressive and confrontational based on unfounded assumptions, and then applying your fear-based biases, is not a good move. Watch less fear-based programming and do more thinking. Employ some empathy. This will allow intelligence to grow. Over time, you’ll stop believing that you’re better than others. There is no reason for your unprovoked aggression.

[@redwingfan9393]

This lady's story doesn't quite add up.

[@cheechalker8430]

“And I was able to beat them.....of course I was older.......taller, heavier and faster.....

[@ezekiel3791]

"My mother was horrified when I started dating at 11". Lady, I think that mothers of today would be horrified.

[@amuroray9115]

Fr

[@GoLongAmerica]

Kids my age were dating at 11...at age 10 in the 4th grade even.

[@IgorMikeshin]

depending also on what you mean by "dating". If it's not sex, but just playing together, it's kind of ok

[@ezekiel3791]

@@IgorMikeshin Yes.

[@wendym2192]

I felt her pain when she said "I think my dad wanted a boy." I love your films because you capture all these wonderful, insightful and gripping stories from people from different generations and eras going through or experiencing moments that make you reflect on life. 👍❤

[@NightinGal89]

Literally all men do. I only know of one man who wanted daughters.

[@yodservant]

I think I was "supposed" to be a boy as well...I'm the eldest of three daughters and then finally a boy twelve years later, he was the Golden Child, and my Godson, tragically passed away in 2018 of cancer....

[@NelsonStJames]

Methinks there are literally thousands of parents that wished they'd taken so active a role in their daughter's dating life as she describes -- and probably quite a few young women that wished their parents had as well.

[@Madmen604]

I went to Catholic school, but also girl guides. We did all the same stuff the boys did plus. Boys and girls in our school had to line up equally, but the boys were disciplined more. All girls of the 50 and 60's regardless of religion, were expected to act like barbie dolls, and had limited professional options, well into the 70's. It's not just a Catholic thing.

[@ljones98391]

Canuck. Agreed. All schools had a dress code that required girls to wear a dress or skirt, no pants allowed. Plus dress codes dictated the hem length as well.

[@anitaboneshow]

@@ljones98391 Our local high school didn't allow girls to wear pants until 1974.

[@PC.NickRowan]

David actually has a video of some expert (God how I hate to use the blanket word "expert" but he was referred to that in the video, I just can't for the life of me remember his profession) talking about the unwritten social norms for teenagers growing up in the 1950s that they for the most part inflicted on eachother and there was a huge problem with mixed signalling and conformity for teenagers across the 1950s, and that a lot of them found it very preasuring on themselves and how it was never their own rules that they obeyed, but rather the unwritten rules of others and the fear of judgement and what people were thinking about you. Doesn't matter the time, place, age group or institutions, I find that history rhymes and the human experience never changes, humans are doomed to be humans, but hopefully we can work harder to having systems and cultures that are less collective, tribal, authoritarian and are more oriented toward individualism and holding individuality as the highest value in society. With that hopefully we can start letting eachother live and let live more, and live toward making our own rules for ourselves, and be open to either criticism or different ideas. You might argue we already have that, I would disagree, because the frustrations this woman speaks of qre frustrations I find myself to this day as q young person very familiar with.

[@elvenkind6072]

Just blame Christianity anyway, it's almost comical how people are demonizing Jesus, if it hadn't been for that people are still persecuted around the world simply from believing the Truth. In the beginning Christians were being put in gladiatorial arenas, covered with animal skins and eaten alive by wild animals, or killed for fun, crucified, beheaded etc. because of "atheism" (refusing to worship the emperor), after the fire in Rome where Nero got the blame, he in turn blamed the Christians and they had crucified Christians all around Rome serving as torches, and up to this day the worst situation is if anyone live in North Korea and can't live with the idea that they have to deny Jesus and instead deify the Kim dynasty, they are abused to death in concentration camps.

[@fredrika27]

@@anitaboneshow When I tell people this, they think I am crazy! It's true for a lot regions of the US and UK!

[@R0yL33]

Dating at 11. Using the old man's cc's. Would like to hear the other side of this story.

[@earningattorney9887]

She was a baby boomer that grew up in the 50s 60s in a well to do family of course she was spoiled.

[@75Veritas]

She's great! I really appreciate her honesty and candor.

[@nohmehari947]

Your profile picture expresses your fervent belief in Scientism and I completely oppose your religion

[@Paul5520]

Her parents sound like good responsible people. The 3 year ban was the only thing I thought extreme.

[@jamesmacfadden2493]

Oh poor thing her parents put restrictions on her dating at 11 phh ... Those evil parents should be like parents nowadays so that she could have been pregnant by 11

[@jahreigns888]

So her boyfriend's parents helped her undermine her parents. Wow.

[@Dutch_Engineer_Piff_Dahnk]

@throwaway account considering in her own version of the story they don't seem like bad people. Dating at 11 in the 1950s and her parents are strict GTFOH She isn't gonna say ya I was a spoiled teenager

[@grandma.p]

Nice screen name

[@power50001562]

@Barney Fife Well, there's a good reason to act like a lady, it's what would get you to high society or a rich husband. It isn't like it was done just for torture. Nowadays it's common to not even say please or thank you, that ain't it either.

[@sugarbum99]

@@power50001562 and really just get you around in general. It applied back then and it will always apply. It’s simple, if a woman acts like a sleaze ball, she’s just not going to get any respect- rich or poor; just the way it is but now in days it’s just smoothed over.

[@michaelterrell5061]

@@sugarbum99 Back then women could get walked all over by men and were expected to act “womanly” whatever the heck that means. Frankly good on us nowadays for allowing women to act and dress the way they want.

[@dandiacal]

I love your channel and especially your method of portraiture and your filming methods: you really reveal the soul of the person. Very hard to film a ingle subject like you do in a documentary context. Shirley Clarke did it well in Portrait of Jason. Errol Morris of course has the gift as well.

[@314chriswright]

Wtf are high heel sneakers? Especially if the boys were wearing them.

[@DariusIIIofPersia]

think she means hi-tops, like Chucks

[@waynecarson8635]

@@DariusIIIofPersia which shows how little ablity younger kids have in understanding things out of their realm. Most can't even see she is almost an automaton but most of the younger are in their own " like" and "literally" way.

[@BeeWhistler]

Andre Johnson Thank you, I was so confused by that. There are high heeled sneakers and they're ridiculous. Sad that girls couldn't wear Chucks, I wear them most of the time and had a pair I loved as a kid.

[@assman4299]

Wayne Carson hey dummy guess what, because younger kids grow up in different times! I don’t see any boomers who can navigate the internet and technology in general, but do I ridicule you for not understanding anything outside your realm? You oldies are so blatantly ignorant and Fox News makes you think we’re just mindless

[@gaylegreene]

High tops canvas came up over the ankles.

[@paintinganimalsonrocks7633]

I was Protestant and it was pretty much the same way.

[@victoriataylor5457]

Thanks David, but I find it sad by reading some of the comments that some people, totally miss the point of the film. Although I wasnt a Catholic, thats the way it was back then. Even in the pubic schools, and at home. We were recieving alot of mixed messages, on one hand, you were having your Dad, give you boxing gloves, & teaching you how to defend yourself, and on the other hand, you being taught to dress, and act like a lady. It was a confusing time of life, for alot of girls & boys. . And alot of people rebelled, because of it. My father was very strict, especially about dating. He wouldnt or didnt approve of a boy, even walking me home from school carrying my books, much less having a date. He would say, You will not even think about dating, until you are 16 , he was just trying to protect me tho. I can see very plainly how the 50s and 60s influenced our lives. We grew up in that era, so we know, dont we David. Your films are outstanding, Thank you, so much, for helping us babyboomers recall our past, and the thoughts, has shaped our lives !

[@DavidHoffmanFilmmaker]

Victoria. the comments in general, and I'm sure you have read many, have been a eye-opening shocker to me. I know that those who don't understand history are bound to repeat its mistakes and this seems like a time where, reading some of the comments, people really don't understand the complexity of what these interview subjects are saying and manually partnering it with the wrong predetermined point of view. David Hoffman

[@carolirvine3095]

@@DavidHoffmanFilmmaker I understand your point, but this woman is only one representative of that timeframe - Some of us got on with our lives without playing the blame game - I found her annoying and whinny and not too smart, top hats and high heeled sneakers???

[@Stanzafly]

@@carolirvine3095 Have you had no frustrations in life? This interview is specifically about her frustrations in childhood, so why are you upset she is talking about them?

[@glennw.4570]

Her Dad told her, "You've got to quit spending so much money." Dang......I remember in 1960 when I asked my dad for a 25 cent a week allowance, and believe me, I did a LOT of chores being the oldest of four kids. My dad told me, "I'm already paying you twenty-one a week." I said, "Sir?" Dad replied, "You eat three times a day, seven days a week." Case CLOSED ! ! ! It's funny, the things you remember when you get old.

[@jeaniechowdury576]

Thank you for this excellent episode. ☮️❤️

[@MyHellaKitty]

This woman's experience, was not everyone's experience. I think it depends on where you live, how your parents were and the social norms in your area. I'm from Oregon. People here generally have an independent attitude. It's very laid back logging, farming, fishing and ranching areas. The east coast of the US, it's more traditional. The west coast, south and mid west, experience a different social culture.

[@chargers2179]

The east coast is a fucked up place

[@lewspeedwagon6330]

Miss Katniss, put this in context.. she's talking about 1950s, and reflecting in 1990s...

[@xtusvincit5230]

@@lewspeedwagon6330 Yes, even in the 1950's the West was different from the East. Even the MidWest was different from the East. I'm from Indiana, and this strict attitude toward girls wasn't here. Of course, this woman might be exaggerating. Here in the 50's there were plenty of tomboys and people thought of them as different but not bad. This woman claims to start dating at 11? This just isn't a credible story.

[@amandajean7738]

East coasters are traditional why is it that our politics more liberal?

[@xtusvincit5230]

@@amandajean7738 I think the East Coast was historically more traditional English and European influenced. But, that has changed a lot since the 60's except maybe in business dress. You wont find much suit and tie in the West or mens dress shoes. But culturally and morally both coasts have abandoned sexual, marital and filial morality in fave of whatever feels good. Today, the small town MidWest has the most intact moral and familial habits and customs.

[@speedstriker]

It's absolutely fascinating how the wishes and love of parents could hurt and be misunderstood by their children. Isn't there any way to bridge these gaps? Or do children inevitably transpose whatever imperfection in society onto their relation with their parents? Edit: Just listening to her talk, there's so much projection and avoidance.

[@iBloodxHunter]

@Tamee Marie Purdy Not comparing her choices just making a general statement: a waste is a waste.

[@chocolate-eq6jn]

Good point. I wonder if she can take ownership that she stole from her Dad. And he allowed it. Very dysfunctional.

[@DavidWaeldervideo]

I thought make ends meat meant the end or least desired part of the meat. I just imagined ends meet - like attempt to make insufficient length of rope ends meet to be tied or useful. Anybody have any idea ?

[@turdferguson3400]

"Make ends meet" is an expression meaning "try to achieve a desired result with barely enough resources, often at the cost of forsaking other desires or other needs". It is often used when someone is poor or in a difficult situation.

[@Hero101010]

While it does seem like a strict way to bring up a child by today's standards, this lady comes off as entitled. Not allowing your daughter (or son, for that matter) to date at 11, having a half past midnight curfew and not allowing going out at night during the week hardly seems inappropriate... Specially in the 50's, where sex education was much more rudimentary and the birth control pill wasn't yet widespread. Now, an important point to note is that this family didn't seem to communicate, which is a sad affair of things. To say that little girls weren't expected to complain is just rationalizing away the sullenness and rebelliousness of youth. If she didn't make herself heard then we can hardly just blame her parents - though if her father's reaction to her spending his money unsupervised is anything to go by it seems her parents were only strict on some parts of her upbringing, which is odd... Still, there are two sides to this story, of course, and while I wouldn't call this lady's childhood an example, I'd venture to say that today's youths really could use a more structured family life - and I say this having been born in the 90's, and having grown up with a lot of friends whose idea of normality was a broken family without a united course for family affairs, where love was conditional and life rules mere suggestions. Sorry for the wall of text. Thank you for sharing this interview!

[@waynecarson8635]

You were born in the 90s you really don't have a clue.This shit was far deeper than she expresses or you realize. 4 choices for a future? Some privilege, I know I lived then,? '58, born black. Her family life was pretty liberal in some aspects.Communicate? WASN'T DONE BACK THEM. Kinda like today she is communicating and you just don't get it.Watch the rest of these videos youi might understand.

[@RetrocadePodcast]

Wayne Carson yeah, it was a different culture back then A completely different, conservative world, especially for women. While the economy boomed in the 50s, the social freedoms of enjoy today were not at all the norm back then.

[@immaggiethesenilegoldenret7918]

Hero101010 A real snob. Boo-boo. Poor me.😩(whomp-whomp)

[@jameswells-uk6qu]

Hero...I agree with most of what you stated..if you want to read a real different view than most of these comments..read mine...!!! Mrs. James Wells btw.

[@Hero101010]

@@jameswells-uk6qu Thank you Mrs.Wells! :) All opinions are welcome, and as other people said I wasn't around in the 50's. But as a 90's kid, I feel kids today need a bit more of the 50's in their life...

[@mopargirl2173]

I love your videos! I was born in 1963 an I can see a lot of my Dad in your films. He was a city boy while my mother was a country girl raised on a 100 acre farm. Total opposites ! Lol I really appreciate everything you share especially your picture of you an your Mother. Simply beautiful! 🌴✌🌴

[@DavidHoffmanFilmmaker]

thank you. David Hoffman-filmmaker

[@MarilynCrosbie]

In North Burnaby, the choices we had were secretary, teacher, or nurse.

[@carolirvine3095]

That was true just about everywhere unless your parents had money and progressive views - I guess I found this annoying because she seemed to blame the times and her parents for her life - I am probably her age and went through the same thing but never looked back and made something out of the life I had - I hate it when women take on the role of a victim - A woman can only be a victim if she allows others to victimize her and she seems to enjoy that role - Sorry this is how I see it and it bothers me that she may be viewed as the representative of that time -

[@joeblow9657]

British Columbia?

[@MarilynCrosbie]

Referring to her reference to the fact that her parents "wanted to know where she was at all times" to my way of thinking this shows that her parents cared about her safety. Have you noticed how many young people today are reported missing and how at least some of them are found dead? That didn't occur often in the 1950s and 60s.

[@sunnyroad5644]

but rapes happened,girls still blamed.The pill didn't come in untill mid sixties.Working class parents really didn't know how to talk to teenagers.Teenagers were a new phenomenom

[@sugarbum99]

@@sunnyroad5644 😂 it wasn’t just working class parents

[@wastedShaman]

not true, if anything you didn't hear about it. abductions were much more prevalent pre internet/cameras, 24hr news cycles.

[@MarilynCrosbie]

My sister and I were allowed to play sports with the boys in the 1950s and 1960s. I was okay with the idea of being a wife and mother. I did well in school and expected to go to university, which I did. Even if I couldn't go to university, I did my best in school because I did my best at everything. Dating at 11 was silly. I had no interest in dating until I was 16. Grounded for three years is unenforceable.

[@Zfickoff]

She talked like women were the only ones with strict standards in the 50's. Men had to wear wool suits in the summer, for starters.

[@FC-hj9ub]

Lmao dress code it the tip of the iceberg dude you wouldn't survive 2 hours as a woman

[@ExcelsiorElectric]

Are you speaking from experience? Because wool wouldn't normally be worn in summer, linen or other light weight material would have been worn during hotter temperatures.

[@lorirees4248]

As a Gen-Xer every time I hear this generation say that their only choice of careers were nurse, secretary, teacher, or stewardess I feel like a slacker that I became a nurse.

[@sugarbum99]

You shouldn’t though, if you really are an RN- they make a comfortable living

[@zoraster3749]

Sounds like she was just a person that was never satisfied and was always finding problems in the external to explain her lack of fulfillment. She’d have the same problems in any era, whatever the limit was she’d have been happy if she just had a little more, and that’s the trap.

[@carolirvine3095]

I agree -

[@CSUnger]

If she wants to see what being limited was really like try growing up in a Catholic orphanage. Funny thing is though, when we all went back years later to visit the place after it had been closed down for economic reasons, we all realized just how happy we had actually been back then and how fortunate we were to have been raised with structure.

[@christinesyntax4067]

She had more freedoms growing up than I did! I was raised by a Greek mother and father and if that didn’t mess you up, I don’t know if anything else will.

[@werewally3156]

You weren't allowed to be a tomboy, you were expected to be a lady, that could BOX.

[@gavinreid5387]

I knew Tom boys in the 60s and 70s , theses days they're in danger of getting gender reassignment.

[@TheBryan1284]

My mother had 3 boy's by 20 and was told by the priest to take the beatings by her first husband. She was excumated when she divorced him. He changed alot when he was older, I and a step child of his ended up being best buds with him in the 80's and my mother almost remarried him. His explanation not excuse was I was 19 in the navy/Korea and Catholic always with much sincere tears. Later understood the service and Catholic part.

[@spiderkitty7643]

I was raised this way by my grandparents, & wanted to scream like a banshee every time I was told that "children are to be seen & not heard" crap. _Children,_ as in *all* of them, not just girls- quite frankly, I never once heard it worded to exclude the boys like that. But I used to hate how it made me feel like my thoughts & feelings were simply irrelevant to the world. So I do get it. But gee, it also seems a bit ironic that one of the most common complaints young women currently make about potential male suitors is an utter lack of ambition & even complete unwillingness to get a real job of any sort. It also seems strangely fitting that so many young men who do find that ever-elusive career success seem to pass by their fellow careerists in favor of a woman willing to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. What a big fuckin' mystery this must be for people who are taught a sort of sexual ideology instead of natural biology, aka reality.

[@joeblow9657]

A lot of these comments are really judgemental. She reasonably felt unfairly limited by her gender and society when she grew up. She's not entitled for this, a lot of other women also felt this way. Moreover, so what if she didn't have the best relationship with her family, lots of people don't. It's fine

[@michaelpryor78]

My mom grew up during this time. She was a tomboy who went on to work as a corporate banker. Idk about all this.

[@johnacord5664]

I heard many a ghostly story of Catholic schools where the Nuns knew how to Box.

[@sugarbum99]

I’m Catholic but they should have boxed all the bs out of the church because in turn, a lot of things seem uncredible. Beyond a damn shame

[@randomcommenter7170]

I would love to see that

[@thomasdee3119]

David. With all due respect, her story sounds incredible, and somewhat unbelievable. (A beautiful women, nonetheless). She dated at 11!!! Her date would pick her up in his car, at her home! ETC regarding other assertions. PS. I have recollection from that time, for “girls” and “boys”. None of them coincide with her comments. Perhaps her experiences were FAR FROM THE NORM for that period. A nice person and well spoken.

[@franklinsfriend2035]

Dating at 11 is crazy! But most of what she said is spot on. She describes the young female experience very well.

[@Flight_1018]

I relate 100%. When asked at age 4 what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said I wanted to be a rancher. No, I could be a housewife, a nurse, a teacher, or a nun. As I got older, I wanted to be an alter boy, but that was not permitted for girls either. That's just a small chapter of how suppressive and restricted our roles were in the development, and more importantly, our own self awareness and acceptance.

[@tienglongmy]

So what? Lots of boys are pushed into certain professions (doctor, lawyer, engineer). The parents do it to try and make their child sucessful in life. Some kids need that guidance. For girls, housewives are on average far happier and far more successful than career women in terms of what they achieve.

[@Flight_1018]

True. My former husband wanted to go into economics but his parents pushed him towards a 'better' profession in their opinion with status and income. He did become a Doctor, and then became an alcoholic and dependent on prescription drugs. My upbringing didn't affect me too adversely, and I look back with some nostalgia and no real resentment. My sisters and I now have a kind of 'tongue-in cheek' recollection and it was just how things and people were. I think it was more that I didn't like people telling me what I could be, or had to be. Seems I was preparing for the 70's where the tide was turning, and that's a completely new chapter of influencing youth at the time.

[@MilwaukeeF40C]

"As I got older, I wanted to be an alter boy, but that was not permitted for girls either." Well that's a different story altogether.

[@MilwaukeeF40C]

@@Flight_1018 A good economist could hire doctors to mop floors.

[@Flight_1018]

I told my husband he was miserable in the medical field, and that maybe he would be happier finding something to do. After he shared that with his parents I was the scourge of his family. To this day, after almost 40 years of practice, my former husband STILL laments his profession. He would have been a very good, and much happier, economist. Also, and this makes me laugh, I use 'play' mass in my bedroom where I could act out being an alter boy!

[@bruh666]

great interview

[@carolshumaker8348]

You got to stay out until 12:30? WOW!

[@loloioi]

I honestly think her story is genuine through and through. It makes sense historically given that the 1950's and 1960's was an era where everything was very strict to the rules. If it were not for the things that happened in the 1960s, we would still be tied down by archaic ideals that prevented people from ever expressing themselves creatively, intellectually and so on. We would not be able to enjoy so many things if it were not for the people who rebelled in the 1960s. People who did not live through the 1960s would never be able to understand the struggles that people had to face back then. People had to fight for equal rights for POC and for basic civil rights. there were daily lynchings and social unrest. I would never ever want to turn back time and live in such an era. I'm grateful for what we have today because of the actions of people historically. Personally, I think it is very troubling that there are people out there who want to undo all the hard work people had to fight for. We as people need to stand up and call out bull shit when we see it. This women's experience is definitely not bull shit. p.s. I appreciate the share David. The video was a great watch to hear this women's experience. I find that sometimes the mainstream media in our 21st century really lacks the human element dynamic. Watching your work is definitely refreshing. Thanks ~ An Avg College Student ~

[@minirock000]

As a Gen-X'r that broke away from my parental attempts at forced religious indoctrination by age ten, I think the X'rs would have been that generation. If not the next one. Each generation since the teenager was invented has been attempting to break away somehow and usually does. As they say in science, we stand on the shoulders of giants to help us reach our goals.

[@DavidHoffmanFilmmaker]

you write much better than an average college student. Keep expressing yourself. Good work. And thank you. David Hoffman-filmmaker

[@loloioi]

​@@DavidHoffmanFilmmaker Thanks David! Your comment really made my day.

[@thomasruwart1722]

OMG - Was boxing a Catholic thing or just a 50s/60s thing? My dad made me go to boxing lessons when I was 7 at the Knights of Columbus. I *hated* every minute of it. I remember wondering why anyone found this activity "fun" and I really did not like going into the ring knowing I was going to get hit repeatedly in the head. Ack!

[@DavidNotSolomon]

It seems like parents back then took care of their kids - in the early 80's I was left completely unattended from age 11 - my boomer parents showed no interest in where I was or what I was doing - and I often ended up drunk with older kids, and in retrospect in some very dangerous situations. Quite often I slept either on beaches or in abandoned buildings (alone). My sister at 13 was left unattended at a party and drank so much she was hospitalised. I guess the boomers gave their kids the lack of care and attention they themselves craved - but I think I would have preferred the love and care of the 1950's parents rather than the lazy abandonment of my parents thank you.

[@RoadJournal]

Hi what was this shot on ? Looks and sounds amazing!

[@DavidHoffmanFilmmaker]

It was shot on beta SP with a decent prosumer camera but digitized at high quality. David Hoffman-filmmaker

[@lyralong]

this sounds great to me, as a teacher and a mom...

[@caseyjones831]

Daddy taught you how to keep the perverts away

[@kennethlucas7473]

This woman described the 50's the same way it really was. I'm a black male and back in the day we blacks could only have four professions-especially in the south: Preacher, teacher, undertaker, or doctor- If a university accepted you! Black folks were NOT hired to be: News anchors, reporters, accountants, bank managers, engineers, scientists, pharmacists, college professors, etc etc. Unless you were a heterosexual, Christian, white male your options were severly limited. People like her who thought outside of the box we're shunned and ridiculed for not conforming. This dear woman wasn't complaining. She told it how it was and some of you can't handle it!

[@bernardslaundry3879]

Negro please.

[@freedomdude5420]

This is why I hate the BLM. Movement it’s a bunch of BS with the slopeside propaganda, narratives. And this is from a white guy’s point of you, some of the black bro I feel really bad for. 😢

[@willmpet]

I wouldn't stay in kindergarten for very long. I now look at it as my first sign if rebellion, and I'm proud of it. My brother (6years older than I was in the same school and he was embarrassed by me. The teacher (Mrs. Anderson) was cruel to me, as she had been obnoxious towards my brother, so I just left. She told my Mom that if I wouldn't go to school I should stay in bed. I stayed in bed for six weeks! My Mom finally said she would stay in school with me, and did - one morning. We went out to buy class pumpkins for jack-o-lanterns and she said she'd stay, so I went with the class. While I was gone the principal, Mrs. Brezler, saw my Mom and asked her why she was there. "I'll take care of this!", said Mrs. Brezler

[@geemanbmw]

Mr Hoffman you are a genius. Thank you for these valuable personal insights into the past.

[@DavidHoffmanFilmmaker]

Thank you for your comment. If your resources allow, I would sure appreciate your using the THANKS button under any of my videos including the one you have commented on. It is something new that KZbin is beta testing and would mean a great deal for my continuing efforts. David Hoffman filmmaker

[@DilipMuralidaran]

A dozen thousand miles away, in this corner of the world, in India, my female cousins had similar realities in the 70s and the early 80s and the late 80s and 90s changed things so much, that most people would not even believe half the things I would say, whenever I come to America and talk about cultural differences between the 80s, when I was born and the 90s, when I was a teenager. Life has gotten so much better. I'm so grateful to live in the best of times. The pain and suffering of others in the past, especially our previous generations are absolutely mindblowing.

[@mr.mystiks9968]

For the chaperoning segment of dating at the 9 min. mark, did she think her breaking the rules and how kids would later go about dating decades is somehow a benefit to America?

[@willmpet]

Mrs. Anderson must have had quite a talk with Mrs. Brezler, because she treated me decently and I stayed the rest of the year. I had no further problems at school and turned out to be a good student.

[@dogenet2929]

Aw, everyone loved her and protected her and took care of her. Poor thing.

[@sugarbum99]

Sheesh! I wouldn’t have minded growing up like her. Two loving parents?! So what if she didn’t get to do boy things! She was handling boys other ways by dating- she did have her freedom.

[@lamars2486]

Hoffman ... thanks for showing our "girls" stories of what they had to go through. It was these same women who fought for the vets, the gays and the poor and still put themselves last as women. I hope all fight for them and what they tried to leave for all of us. FREEDOM. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. 😊

[@cheechalker8430]

Ok today this lady is probably in her 70s and is screaming about her granddaughters staying out too late and running around with boys

[@pheenobarbidoll2016]

My parents wanted all that information too. In the 80s. We didn't find it weird..we just snuck around and did typical teenager things. Which is why they wanted that information to begin with lol This lady must not have raised teenagers.

[@roberthaworth8991]

Economics determines so much of social life and children's roles/opportunities. In America, at every period up to the 1930s child labor was not only expected, but relied upon, and therefore officially justified -- even glorified -- or ignored as just one of life's realities. After WWII, given advances in technology and to make up for the Depression Era's shortage of jobs for adults, children weren't wanted anymore in the labor force; thus child labor laws changed and the period of "childhood", with its presumption of dependency and scholarship, was extended into the late teens. These days it seems to have been stretched into the mid-20s at least.

[@markheppleston1117]

This ladies experiences are nothing like what i observed in my sphere! I grew up in Canada and religious organizations didn't seem to have as much domain over school and professional life that she experienced!

[@immaggiethesenilegoldenret7918]

My poor parents were so dysfunctional and had their own issues; in many ways they just didn’t give a f**k about what I did most times during the mid-late ‘70s, the era of my teen years...I towed the mark, but for the most part I was kept on a long leash..🤷‍♀️

[@bengee5400]

How oppressive, her parents wanted to know where she was and with who she was with. Her perspective is ridiculous because she probably doesn't have kid's. Now old with no one to take care of her.

[@bengee5400]

@deathtrooper666 I disagree. Her parents wanted to instill morals not force an artificial personality. You won't want your 11yr old dating either, you'll see. When you have 2,3, or 4 kid's, and they have the same. You have a large family with lot's of support. If you don't have any, well bye bye to your bloodline.

[@bengee5400]

@deathtrooper666 Everyone has a brain, yet they're still special. Just because everyone has them doesn't mean it's not special. There's nothing more important than having a family to support you and kids for you to teach and raise. Think about it.

[@bengee5400]

@deathtrooper666 By helping people not make more people, leads to human extinction if everyone thought like that. If everyone stopped making babies there would be no one left a hundred years from now. Don't believe the over population theory. You could fit everyone on planet Earth in Texas alone. You have been tricked to believe that not having a family is virtuous. It's not we're here to multiply and support each other. Go out there meet a nice girl and make a family. You'll be so much happier.

[@bengee5400]

@deathtrooper666 Are you suffering? I'm not and even the poorest people in India are not suffering. They have 5 kid's and are happy with very little. There's food flying in the air all over(duck's). There's plenty of resources plant some. You claim over population, I say there's plenty of space and food. Get out the city and visit the country you'll see the space and food walking around. Also free water God gives it's called rain.

[@annapaulikonis2433]

bengee, I hate to inform u but having kids doesn't guaranttee that someone is going to tske care of u in your old age.U have to depend on yourself.I've been a nurse for 42 years, and have taken care of alot of old people with children, who never visit them in a nursing home.I once took care of a lady with 12 kids, all living in the same city as their mother.Not one of them showrd up even to visit her.Truth.

[@michaelbrown5601]

This is what happens when you tell girls to be quiet, look proper and know “their place”. They date at 11 and you’ve lost them.

[@jeaniechowdury576]

Thanks

[@MetalHeadbanger7]

The problem I'm seeing with her story is that she doesn't know what it's like to be a parent, especially in those times (at least I'm assuming she isn't one she never really said in this video); and that she admitted that she never actually had a sit down with her parents about how she felt about all this, which evidence points to it being that's just how it was back then. The only parts of the story that I will side with her on is that her Dad taught her to box, which was naturally considered masculine back then, only to be taught how to be feminine, which is what started her to be a rebellious tomboy, so the parents brought that onto themselves; and the whole 3 year punishment was way too harsh (assuming the punishment actually lasted all 3 years). But outside of these reasons, I think the parents really were doing their job. I mean, c'mon, dating at 11? That would throw any mother into a hissy fit. Being closely monitored? Uh yeah, we've all seen what would happen if kids weren't being watched (although I admit being watched ALL the time can be pretty aggravating). Put a limit on her spending habits? I got a grandmother who was teenager during the time, and she still tends to spend like one, so I definitely sympathize with her dad. But as far as everything else goes, safe to say that's just how society was back in 1950's, so it's not all the parents fault. Great video as always Mr Hoffman, I'm really learning quite a bit from your videos than I ever did from school.

[@GoLongAmerica]

There's nothing at all wrong with her story...because it's HER story, her experience. It's not for you to say that it's wrong.

[@bobcharlie2337]

I know many American women, who lived that life. Many of them went to finishing school after Catholic school. That was thier education and those who went to college took " Mrs. Courses". Only one got a Master degree. A lot has changed for women. And still more change is needed. And like this lady all of the women I know rebelled in their own ways. Interesting interview. Thank you.

[@kwaichangcaine8234]

It doesn't seem like a bad childhood to me . I don't think I would allow my 11 year old daughter to date .

[@TheEuphrosyne1216]

I couldn't help thinking" "Oh, poor baby!" Her complaints are all First World Problems. Even today, there would be girls and young women living in Ethiopia, Sudan, Honduras, El Salvador, and many other places, who would gladly trade places with the girl in the life being described. Her options were limited? Well, the young men who grew up in coal-mining towns in West VA, in Pennsylvania, and in Wales in the UK . . . what options did they have? Back in the day, these boys started work at the age of 10 or 12. Right into the mines, helping to carry out buckets of earth and stone that had been mined along with the coal, and were sorted out. Coal-mining, factory work, dockyards, welding, construction, the military, running agricultural equipment, caring for livestock (wear heavy boots, and keep a hose nearby), or maybe working on a fishing boat that goes out into the North Atlantic, and the crew nearly gets washed overboard, struggling to bring all those laden nets into the hold. . . I suppose this gal wishes she could have done these jobs as well. No sympathy from me, whatsoever!

[@ezekiel3791]

I was thinking the same thing. Even taking her story is completely true, I cannot but have the impression that her "female limitations" were only, I repeat only thing that mattered to her.

[@tonylichacz6453]

I always liked the Tom boy girls. They all were more fun to be with. And later I married a real Tom girl and she was all the world to me.

[@jeCktHeReal]

such a shame. the life that her parents wanted for her was fine, but they forced it on her and she became an angry person. This happens to everyone with parents nowadays too, not just back in those days, just so you know. The only way to raise children is not to raise them at all, but to be a perfect example for them to want to follow/become like you, then they won't have a chance to stray from what's right.

[@lancelot1953]

Hi David, as usual, great glimpse of Americana you shared with us. I would assume that she is in her forties or close to it - it would be nice to know what happened to her (her life away from her family "prison". Strangely enough, I went to Catholic parochial schools, it was strict. Raised by my grand parents who had lost three boys to disease/accidents, after losing my parents, they were strict but loving. I was raised in the Northeast, farm country, we had liberties but no matter how late we stayed out, the herd had to be attended to starting at 04:45 the next morning unless special permission. May be I am too old but our families did set boundaries, girls were to be respected, and we were segregated. We did learn "good manners". We brought flowers, opened doors, etc... Even had classes on how to behave in boarding schools and similar classes at the Academy (military). If you did get a girl pregnant, you got married. My grand parents did set limits and boundaries. My children who grew up in the eighties had a much "looser" upbringing by the society of the day, but as parents, my wife and I did keep tab on our kids. By the time the nineties came around, half our street was made up of single parents, divorced families or reconstituted families. I do not think I would call that "progress". And nearly thirty years later, it is even worse. I teach now, and most of my class (lower class, Northeast, no more religion) is from broken families or do not know their father. Times have changed but I must confess that the strict upbringing I received in the fifties ans sixties did prepare me for a successful life both morally, socially, and financially. Ciao, L

[@robijuli236]

Damn this lady thinks she had a strict curfew.. mine was strictly 11 pm on weekends all the way up until I moved out when I was 16 lol... & when I came back for a few months when I was 18 I honestly felt lucky that I was finally allowed to stay out till midnight yet I don’t think I’ve ever heard of any other 18 y.o still having a curfew lol

[@shawni321]

Ok NURSING is not a real profession? TEACHING is not a real profession? Goodbye lady.

[@michaelterrell5061]

Yes but what if she wanted to be something else? Why not a doctor? A lawyer? A physicist? The point was that her life was limited to things expected to be done by women and that’s not fair.

[@Dave-zl2ky]

There was very little respect for what women thought. Women were told what to think and that the end goal was God, a husband to obey, and having babies. I am not 100% sure that much has changed in the church.

[@saltydawg7078]

As a former Catholic school survivor - from K-college graduation...I have no sorrow for this woman. Life was what it was. Parents were instilled by the Church that the responsibility for their child's soul was on them. Maybe that was just in the area where I grew up but my Grandparents had voiced that too.

[@saltydawg7078]

@deathtrooper666 it wasn't all trash. The classes were taught well. Many of our teachers had Master's degrees. The curriculum was tough but a very good prep for college. I do appreciate that part of life.

[@CatholicTraditional]

Parental responsibility/involvement of their childrens' education until age 18 is Catholic teaching.

[@jluvbaby]

She reminds me so much of my mother... They would be the same age my mother is 75 today... Till the end of this.. LMMFAO...

[@baltzarbonbeck3559]

The culture was much more outspoke at that time, as a person that was born in 2004 I can say that much of America is suffering from the opposite of what her childhood consisted of, I understand the virtues of what she was taught, it's only a shame in that it was persued by force, it should be recommended, not forced. Now there is also the possibility of bias on her part, it's possible that she resents her childhood simply because she was too afraid to speak up which makes her exagerate the reality.

[@jerome2022]

It was strict because it.was their way of control of the changes happening everywhere. There will always be rebels without a cause, or following a bridge to nowhere..

[@Max-rx8ri]

oh man i was confused why this didt have many views but its only been uploaded today lol

[@G3O.On3]

Seems like parents loved their kids back then. Modern parents just hand kids a tablet or phone to keep them quiet.

[@Strindom]

theres a difference between loving your kids, and constantly obsessing over them, molding them as an extension of your ego

[@jeffreykalb8810]

@deathtrooper666 What does it matter what you want if you're a child with no life experience? (Or an adult for that matter?)

[@johnnada586]

deathtrooper666 yeah okay, when you get to the point where your computer tells what the purpose of life is make sure you tell all of us . LOL

[@mauherkan]

Fascinating. I don't agree with the commenters either who say she was ungrateful and those who say she was in prison. I think on the one hand the strictness was a reaction, for example, to the depression, prioritazing discipline: knowing human nature where anticonception was not in use, and that many benefited from the discipline, especially those who otherwise would have a child young or not finish school. On the other hand, if there is no material oppression, I mean poverty, there still can be serious psychological oppression. (And I think that her conservative father teaching her boxing could have helped her to be more rebellious) (And also: This was the Western form of civilized culture, that's what East Asians have and why they outperforme whites in the US)

[@cynthiacherry9077]

Now you have mothers who would love to be able to stay home with their child but have to work. There's nothing wrong with being a lady. It's much better than how so many women act now days. Dating at 11 is way to young.

[@michaelterrell5061]

Yes but there are many women who would love to have positions in office or win a Nobel prize in theoretical physics. Women like this should be inspirations.

[@juliegathman2923]

I was born in 1959 and as a young girl I could do anything I wanted to do outside. What is this thing about girls having been prevented from climbing trees? No one ever told me not to do that. We climbed to the top of the jungle gym every day at school. We roller skated, pogo sticked, got slammed in the head during dodge ball, ran "the 600" and puked, ran around the neighborhood with all the kids till the street lights came on...I just didn't feel the way she describes.

[@socoamarettojustine]

how odd life was back then. great interview

[@eileen1820]

I don't think it was odd. She's simply a maverick of *victim mentality* Hear her talking about using Daddy's credit cars...she's seriously annoying.

[@socoamarettojustine]

i was talking about life in that time period, not the woman or what she did. 1960s/70s life is completely foreign to people of my age group.

[@eileen1820]

@@socoamarettojustine Why "completely foreign"? I can appreciate medieval times even. People are usually up to the same old nonsense throughout history lol

[@sugarbum99]

@@socoamarettojustine why is it completely different?? Your parents let you run wild or something??

[@SKYBOYSFO]

Yes, I have a like

[@yashovam]

Her mother was literally less strict then mine

[@MrJRYLANDER]

pulled some “ferris bullers day off” shit there at the end ... noice!

[@ODLSxHAM]

O my goshhhh! What a rebel!

[@5150Rockstar]

Because they witnessed an 18 year old Elvis premier on the Ed Sullivan show.

[@malcolmclayton6651]

Social norms change over time. Many young people need to understand the difference parental wisdom and the learning experiences of growing up . Reading about life and listening to others of all ages provides an resource that makes life meaningful.

[@lemat579]

you can be "just boring", or you can be her

[@rosalbahamer994]

I was raised like you.

[@ShakepearesDaughter]

That feeling of being a girl, and having that "trapped" sensation, and having the limits of an intolerant society encroaching upon you is a very unpleasant feeling. I know it well. Of course men have their awfuls and people of color have them, so many, they have them very intensely so I do not feel I am the only one in the world to feel "trapped" by society's image. Far from it. But as an individual you have your own pain experience and you know, on some level, that none of the nonsense you are going through would be necessary in a more enlightened world...so much energy wasted on foolishness when you could be growing as a healthy person, reaching for your chance at the sun. I am so grateful that the older people in my cohort started busting out the walls on this crap so we can talk about this stuff

[@dbentleyto95]

I had boyfriends at 11 and even though there were gatherings or meetings at the movies, but interestingly never called them dates. Knowing who your children are hanging about with is something I followed as a parent in the 80s and 90s. My own children do the same thing. The biggest thing I had against the 50s and early 60s was the situation of what other people thought of certain basic situations. There was so much talking and judging of others, it was stifling. I was born in 1950 and was raised Southern Baptist, but it was basically the same.

[@dormantrabbits]

Me: high heel sneakers? Google Images: they exist

[@juliegathman2923]

She probably meant high top, not high heel

[@josephinemurphy9421]

I DON'T THINK YOU CAN BLAME YOUR CATHOLIC UP BRINGING FOR ALL OF THIS...

[@Alexander_Rezner]

She didn't.

[@drpsionic]

That family was weird even by the standards of the time. We were not Catholic but we had neighbors who were and the parents never limited their daughters that way. Those folks were just plain crazy.

[@khappy1286]

My family and others were just like hers. I couldnt wear jeans til I was 13. My brothers could. No problem for me. Couldnt date til 16. Dad had to see the boy first. No problem for me.

[@sugarbum99]

@@khappy1286 in other words, other than the quirks of fashion, your father cared and looked after you- a responsible man; something that some people have never experienced. You were also fortunate :)

[@lindakorrodi6252]

Ied really get Pist off when I was told don't play basketball and riding that dam bike late at night to thus day I'm pertty good shape waiting on my new bike basketball. Lol..lol 20/20

[@shartman2150]

How strict could her parents be letting her DATE at 11 years old?!?! Seriously! And then to ground her for 3 years when she’s 16. I just don’t understand. She sounds angry. Like she needs therapy to work thru the wounds of her childhood. That’s no way to live life!

[@DrumWild]

There was no anger in her voice or tone at all.

[@joeblow9657]

@@DrumWild Yeah she seems very calm. I think it's reasonable to want to get into a high paying profession without being discriminated against for being a woman. A lot of people here don't get that she's reflecting on what it felt like at the time.

[@spych0367]

Do you think the internet is the new library of Alexandria? Also you are doing God's work by keeping these documented

[@nancywysemen7196]

a lot of truth here. deep pain though well fed. some of our current world cultures don't notice this problem. why wouldn't males have contempt for some females....we were trained to be un-natural......ofcourse,males are crimped in their culture's ways.