Therapist Reacts to The Grudge by Tool

Therapist analyzes the lyrics of The Grudge by Tool to discuss how often when bad things happen to us and we hold a grudge they often happen because we didn't have a CHOICE. This song shows us that now we do have a choice to hold onto the grudge and face the consequences of that or let go.
#tool
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* Disclaimer: For educational and informational purposes. Not intended as medical or therapeutic advice, or to evaluate, assess, ameliorate, modify, adjust, diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any disease, condition, disability, problem, dysfunction, or disorder.

[@ernestgarduno1492]

Wings for Marie part 1 and 2. You’ll be blown away by the way Maynard expresses his hurt with the situation.

[@naturewalkjake2099]

I second this

[@charleysage5827]

Absolutely

[@tluvolin_]

Especially is preceded with Judith by A Perfect Circle.

[@wejobay]

This is the one.

[@jessfest7]

@@tluvolin_ Agreed! Add in “Orestes” by APC and “Jimmy” by Tool as well!

[@reginasamilpa44]

30+ year fan of Tool, and I have never and will never get tired of their music. Not one bad song in their entire discography. The best band of my lifetime. 4 masters of their craft. #Toolforever

[@redreaper0013]

❤❤❤

[@joegensmer4023]

I second this!!!!

[@RL-uy3fq]

Same

[@NickyD-99]

Jambi is the worst one though. I hate it so much

[@natashajones545]

Agreed! Same here!

[@TheErikBallew]

This whole album start to finish... ❤❤ It's ALLL therapy!

[@rogueprince1341]

It's their best album, in my opinion.

[@Lleanlleawrg]

As is 10000 days, and Fear Inoculum.

[@JTNugget]

LOL

[@aperfecttool462]

@@rogueprince1341 Aenima, Lateralus, and 10,000 Days, in my opinion, are the masterpiece trilogy.

[@irskn]

I always said Aenima was their best album but Lateralus is literally perfect.

[@susiejo143]

Tool IS musical therapy ❤❤

[@charoleawood]

plus all the excellent Souls-likes, Tool + Souls = Growth

[@joshfriedman2165]

Tool has been the consistent thread throughout my life. With each version of myself the lyrics have had many meanings.

[@nickdanger108]

This is how I feel about them

[@CFCMahomet]

The greatest thing about Tool is that they have grown up with us, and us with them. As we mature (and the band members) the music has matured.

[@wesd3742]

No doubt, I'm with you brother. Same here as I get older

[@forsain4533]

This is the most "Tool Fan" thing a Tool Fan has ever said

[@joshfriedman2165]

@@forsain4533 hahaha checks out 😂

[@jasonspain3554]

That pause before the scream...

[@Mandonburphy]

Literally was gonna comment thats my favorite part of Tool reactions is always picking the perfect but worse place to pause😂😂😂spiral out keep going

[@1bossdj]

Never been blue-balled so hard.

[@mstorrboy]

That's a top comment right there.​@@1bossdj

[@jerm154]

@@1bossdj LOL Right?

[@sarajade5111]

I barely ever complain about pauses, but that timing was atrocious lol.

[@philipfore7478]

In the past ten years I had a life altering events that left me angry, confused, grudges against everything, and much later I realized I was even depressed. I asked no one for help, just said “be a man” and swallowed it all. Even became physically unhealthy to go along with my true lack of mental health. Then one day it came to me. I am not angry at those things, they don’t piss me off. I allow those things to get to me. I allow them to piss me off. Since then my outlook has changed dramatically. I am still not completely healed, but heading that direction. Your insights into my favorite music is also helping me in that journey. Thank you for this channel. Not only do I get to hear encouragement but also get to watch someone become a fan of what I have always known as the greatest music ever to exist.

[@DankMemer42013]

Same dude same. Depression is one hell of a demon

[@stephenmorelli6741]

Overdue for Tool - Pushit. Album version. Toxic relationship song

[@carbon1479]

That's also IMHO the centerpiece of Aenima and one of the coldest guitar licks (after the breakdown) that I've heard.

[@LanceThompsonKssooner]

Then follow it with Pushit from Salival Live

[@mori9060]

I love the salival version. It’s so beautiful.

[@stephenmorelli6741]

@@mori9060 it’s good but I think far inferior and definitely not on the first listen

[@Qliphirot]

Hell yeah, Pushit studio version

[@jamesshilale2967]

You hit the nail on the head Taylor!! That 25 second scream at the end really encapsulates the power of letting go of a grudge 👍

[@adampindell]

But she couldn't have paused it at a worse time, it almost knocked her out of the chair 🤣

[@lost6872]

I always hear something new when I listen to Tool, but especially whenever you break the songs down. It's really helped me understand why I listen to the music that I do and what purpose it serves for me. It's been really eye-opening for me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

[@xxzenn01xx9]

I grew up in a broken home situation and TOOL is one of the only reasons im still here today. It took me many years and lots of self love and reflrction i had to learn on my own, and im still learning and growing at 38. But i just wanted to say that TOOL absolutely has changed my life and im eternally grateful for their music because of it.

[@nikverschuren4291]

Same here. No broken home. But Tool made me feel so many different things in emotions. No other band can do this. I really learned and became stronger because of them. Keep it up mate you will get there.

[@c.hunter9069]

Happy that you are still here friend

[@bradical7772]

I see a lot of “Push It” suggestions. I have to agree! Salival version! Follow the instructions at the beginning of the song.

[@jskipper13]

Yes!!!

[@filipferencak2717]

Ofc then followed by THAT live version 😂

[@frankrizzo6404]

It is amazing. Salival pushit

[@mantism.d.8363]

This song is pure poetry. Amazing opening to an album. So vastly different than previous Tool's lyrical subject matter. They came out of nowhere with a surprisingly positive and uplifting message. The previous albums, you'd be hard pressed to find songs with those themes. I think it displayed a lot of growth in Maynard. He clearly had a shift in his mental being between Aenima and Lateralus. I think it was really cool at the time to see and feel that progression.

[@rogueprince1341]

DO ALL OF TOOL! They're my favorite band. I'd love to hear what you think of Judith by APC. Maynard sings for them as well as Tool in case you didnt know.

[@Fl4ppers]

I love Tool. However I would be wary about this becoming a Tool channel.

[@rogueprince1341]

@Fl4ppers I didn't mean for her to stop doing other bands, but maybe do like Tool Tuesday or something like that.

[@karf0]

This album, specifically this song, saved me as a teenager. I was mentally going down a dark path, thinking everything and everyone was against meme, blah blah teenager stuff. Then this album came out. I didn't fully understand it at the time, but slowly I absorbed what it was saying and I let go of the hatred that was brewing in my heart.

[@adampadilla74]

WooHoo! The Grudge! Let it go! This song is so powerful! The world and society encourage grudges, don't believe them, it will drag you down to the "the Bottom" (Tool song). The album opened my eyes, mind and heart, it continues to help me on the path to maturity and individuation. Spiral out! 🌀🌀🌀

[@nathanielhorrigan2181]

Very well put young sir

[@DUKE_of_RAMBLE]

"Let go" I believe is what you actually wanted to say. "Let It Go" is a song from the Disney movie _Frozen_ 😅

[@jessickamuro9579]

Yes!!! Bottom reference !! 👌

[@zackzaharko89]

One of my favorite Tool songs. The lyrics and meaning. Simply incredible. Danny’s steady drumming build up the entire time up to the incredible breakdown and I mean that scream at the end… Please continue the 🌀

[@-TRIAD-]

🛠️T⚙️⚙️L🛠️ makes All of Us Better Human Beings 🙏 Another Awesome Reaction and Advice 👊

[@alydelancey9187]

Everything Maynard is involved in is pure genius! Tool is my all time favorite band. 46&2 has my whole soul in a headlock

[@orrenkeane2941]

I love how the message (really in every tool song) is always mirrored in the motifs of the music. The song clearly wants to change, to evolve, to move beyond the simple motif from the beginning, but everytime it gets traction within the music, it is held back by "The Grudge". Until that can be exorcised from the song, it can't progress to it's ultimate peak right at the end. Which could be a message in itself, the longer you hold on, the less of a payoff in your life will be available. If you wait too long you only get a short time to be the "best version" of yourself. LET GO!

[@MariaRuiz-Jargon]

So loved your reaction to this song - this is my favorite song by Tool and one of my favorite ones ever. This is also why I love heavy music so much - it is therapeutic to rock out like this.

[@timothyhockemeyer]

I have struggled from a hyper-abusive childhood and into a journey of growth to ensure the cycles are broken and my children never suffer this way but the weight of that responsibility is crushing and often times the only thing I can tell myself is that my 8 year old needs and deserves me around to be the same father for her that my 28 year old daughter had. Please review Citizen Soldier's Strong For Somebody Else. It is my anthem atm and I believe it can help so many others who struggle for a reason. Ty.

[@CogentIndependent]

Man, this song hits different. I hope you find peace, brother.

[@JoGamache]

There something about this song that chokes me up every time I hear it.

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @timothyhockemeyer You are a good dad. You really are. The way you understand yourself, your story, the way you've *chosen* to break these generational patterns and apply it into your life... It's beautiful. You are beautiful. You are doing the work, and even though it might not feel like it, you *are* a daily life hero to your children. I'm not a parent, but have promised to myself that the narrative of trauma and abuse in my family will stop with me. Being the youngest one, I refuse to pass the same pain to any other human being that my parents inflicted on me. There's power in this refusal, in the recognition of the injustice. Of wanting to do differently. It's so powerful to take the matter at hands and realize that you CAN choose what your life will be and who you are, even if you've experienced such depth of trauma and abuse at a young age. Somehow, it is because of this deep awareness and pain that you know what you DON'T want in your life, and that is such a strong testimony of your soul, your willingness to do good and to not let your past define you in the present. I imagine how challenging and conflicting this must have been as a parent at times. Navigating between what is right yet also having room for your own inner child to mourn and seek comfort when he needs it. To be a parent while learning to re-parent yourself. To keep on going during days when the pain feels soul-crushing. You've set a direction and follow it beautifully, but the fight keeps on going internally, and childhood trauma has such a way to affect pretty much every area of our life, showing up randomly too. From a stranger on the internet: I'm so proud of you. So proud of your willingness to not repeat what your parents did. So proud of the way you love and care for your children. So proud that you are here today, using your voice, showing your vulnerable side so it doesn't have to live in complete darkness or isolation. You matter, my friend. You always did, and you always will. To your children, to the people in your life who have the joy to know you, to us here in this community. You belong. :heart:

[@timothyhockemeyer]

​@@HeartSupportthank you and I see you. Keep up the good work and my you be healed of your own wounds, as well. Much love. ❤️

[@Mikesmorning]

Wings for Mary Part 2 10,00 Days would love to hear your take on it. Tool videos are the best

[@cj426]

You gotta do the whole thing at least. Can't have part 2 without part 1, come on

[@Emilie-one]

This one hits my heart every time.. part one and 2

[@CheshireJesterX]

Start with Jimmy, then Judith by "A Perfect Circle", then Wings parts 1 and 2. It's interesting to see Maynard's whole journey and the evolution of his position and feelings.

[@angelaboudreaux3643]

This is my favorite band since I was 14 now in my 40s every album has resonated with me throughout my life. I really enjoy hearing your breakdown of these songs.

[@Abe-jx9rp]

This song has helped me out so much these last 5 months after my ex walked out with our children

[@kasperrieberg3495]

So Sorry to hear bro 🙏 This song has helped me big time, after my daughther died

[@TheOdum666]

I don't usually watch these kind of videos but ive been watching tool all evening and stumbled on this. Then spent the next 2 hrs watching more of your videos. Holy shit i wish id found these years ago. Your break down of the songs cuts so deep with me. Gonna be here all night 😂

[@el-violador]

I have a very old grudge that I'm not ready to let go of as much as I want to. Every now and then it bubbles out and hurts before I get it back under control and get on with life. I think I hold it so tight because there is no catharsis in real life. In art it builds towards this relief. Life doesn't always give you the grand final act where everything comes to a neat emotional close. Sometimes someone hurts you and all there is are apologies and to move on... Also for the longest time it gave me a reason *NOT* to do the hard work and improve myself. That didn't help either

[@adampindell]

Im sure it wont be easy, but good luck!

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @el-violador Yes, sometimes holding to our grudges is a way to not actively seek closure, to keep some sense of control over something we didn't have any control over in th efirst place. It feels like a way, counterproductive but powerful, to bring an illusion of freedom at the moment. It makes us feel empowered somehow. Then the perspective of letting go of our grudges is naturally scary... it forces us to ask ourselves what life is going to look like beyond it. Who are we going to be too. When something or someone hurt you so deeply that it has turned your world upside down, you are somehow forced to reinvent yourself... and it's hard to welcome change with open arms, especially when it's mingled with grief. On one side, you *have* to feel it all, process what you've lost and the pain you feel... but on the other side you can't let it be a destination. It's hard to find the right balance, the right timing, the right definition of what could feel like closure to you personally, especially when you didn't want to even have to ask yourself those questions in the first place, when you keep on feeling like it shouldn't be like this. Somehow, I relate to what you describe through the lens of having experienced abuse from my parents. It has shaped so much in my life and who I am that I just have a hard time of letting go of the fact that I was their victim and long for apologies that will never come. Even with apologies, I'm not sure I'd be able to let go of the grudge, for the appearant nothingness there seems to be beyond it as awfully scary. But on the other side I experience how life-consuming it can be to hold to the same grudges, and how much it forces us to stay stuck in the same place over and over. It doesn't provide room for growth, nor for actual healing. But it's also a necessary step in the process - to recognize the pain, the injustice, the wrongdoings against you. Such a harduous journey. A really challenging path to walk on. My heart goes out to you as you navigate this duality and the complexity of it.

[@el-violador]

@@HeartSupport I'm a little lost for words. About all I can say is thank you for your words and that I wish you all the best in your own journey

[@adrianherrera9537]

Thank you so much for your insight on that. Really helps me with the crown I wear. Appreciate you

[@toolhead6691]

Holy crap, this was the best reaction to a song I've ever heard. Instant subscriber!

[@starehard4585]

Really need to react to Tool's "Pushit."

[@naturewalkjake2099]

Definitely

[@adampindell]

Studio version!

[@starehard4585]

@@adampindell yes, definitely studio version!

[@XathexX]

The anger and resentment from hold a grudge (like a crown) is like poison to your mind. However "forgive and forget" is not fully accurate. Forgiveness can be good for your soul, but do not forget the lessons learned. As it says "transmute" it in to wisdom and leave the hate and pain behind.

[@FLYGUY5870]

Thank you, this is extremely AWESOME!! I personally held a grudge for the past 15 years. But, with the CORRECT Therapy, a good set of head phones, and the TOOL CD catalog. I like you just said,"listen to these tracks, with a whole new perspective.

[@ericgreen3203]

Love your videos! Keep them coming!

[@mijah139]

thank you so much for offering this analysis of tool. please do more

[@BrewmasterDedspace]

I have a grudge aimed at myself. My dad passed 3 years ago do to covid complications. He Suffered for 9 months. I've excepted his death but I hold those anger toward myself. I was there everyday and dealt with alot of his doctors and medical needs but there's something inside that always feels like I didn't do enough. There's always the what ifs in my head. What if I did this what if I did that. And if I had done more would he still be here... I know I did alot but seems like it wasn't enough. I didn't have time to mourn the way I should have. I had a funeral to plan, a mother that lost her husband and a pregnant wife..eventually it just turned into self hate for what I could have done. Even though i still struggle with it, tool has definitely helped me think differently over the years.

[@stephenzysk9926]

Sounds to me like you did an incredible amount of supporting through a very difficult time and I'm sure your father is very proud of everything you did.

[@HeartSupport]

From Lyss: @omardominguez8722 Hello there! First off I just want to say thank you for being open with us here, we appreciate it and don’t take it for granted. I have gotten to know loss very well, but not in this relationship. I cannot begin to understand how difficult it must be to lose a parent, in this way as well. With loss, I believe a lot of people have guilt… wishing they said more, did more… but please know, you did all you could, and that is all that can be asked of you. There is nothing more that you could have done to save your father, especially with illness. I know this is hard to accept, but I promise you it is the truth. I felt a lot of guilt for not spending more time with the people I have lost, or being more myself with them. But I have to remind myself I did what I could at the time, and that is all that can be asked of me, and i have to learn to accept that, even though it is hard. I try to remind myself that these people I have lost are still with me, even if not on the plains of earth, they are with me in spirit. I am not religious, but it does give me some solace to know that they are with me in some way. When I lost my grandparents on my moms side and fathers, my mom was the main one to take care of everything… I cannot even begin to think how hard that must be. I saw her struggles, I saw her pain and emotions. It has got to be so hard, and I just want you to know you are not alone in what you have gone through. Friend, it was enough. You did enough. You did it all right. Please know that. While dealing with this loss, you took care of your grieving mother, and pregnant wife… man, that is a lot, don’t downplay that friend, you did everything you could, and that is amazing. I deal with self hate as well, but from what I see of you here… you are so strong, and amazing. You are so caring. You are an amazing human. You inspire me to keep going, with what I have been through. I believe you will inspire many more as well. I am glad that you have music as a kind of release, as a way to feel understood, and less alone. Thank you for sharing your life here with us… sharing what you have been through and how you feel really makes people feel less alone. I may share your experience with my mother at some time, to help her feel less alone as well. I want to leave you with this reminder: You did what you could with what you had, and that is enough. You did amazing. You did all you could do. Your family has gotta be so grateful for you. Take it slow friend, please know we are always here for you, to listen, to be a shoulder to lean on. Sending love, Lys

[@BrewmasterDedspace]

​@stephenzysk9926 thank you very much for the kind words.

[@summerlossett555]

I think you and Tool may have just saved my life. I feel as though the weight of the world has just been lifted off my mind, heart, body and soul. I don’t know how to describe it because it’s been so long and such a foreign emotion but it’s HOPEFULNESS 🎉 for the first time in many years. Thank you so much Taylor truly and sincerely, I can’t stress this enough ❤

[@cooliojones2474]

Maynard has a few songs about dealing with the trauma of his mother's accident (looking into that would provide more background) across his bands, Jimmy by TOOL specifically is great. Also Judith (A Perfect Circle), The Patient (TOOL), Wings for Marie pts 1 & 2 by TOOL. Wings will grab your heart strings and yank them hard.

[@iancollins65]

Lateralus is an entire album of healing and therapy in a very dark and heavy format. There is something so soothing about every part of it.

[@djmir4]

I was waiting for this one.

[@heyskipj]

I like how Tool poses experiences and internal dilemmas in front of you, then lets it cook. I'm still not convinced that Maynard beat the Grudge within the song. Maybe by the Lateralus track.

[@XathexX]

Choice is the ONLY power we have, it is our MAGICK in this realm. When you give it away, understand that is a powerful gift. When it is taken from you it is an immeasurable loss. It iis a great evil to wantonly take it from others.

[@vaughnnewman8903]

Love your passion, insight, empathy, wisdom and intensity. Keep Spiraling Out...

[@MatArw88]

@HeartSupport - Music to Improve Your Mindset - I recommend one of Tool's deepest and most personal tracks ''Wings for Marie 1 and 2'' where he deals with the death of his mother after a long illness, a mix of anger first and then resignation... it's very emotional.

[@JesterTBP]

You always make me feel better, thank you for doing this.

[@HolyGuacamole311]

It was this song that opened my eyes to the fact that I was holding a grudge against my ex. Did she hurt me? Yes, but I have been perpetuating the pain on my own for too long, and this song led me to choose to let go. That’s the power of music.

[@sconhiser]

this is the first time a TOOL reaction video has brought tears to my eyes - thank you Taylor for saying so many things I didn't know that I needed to hear ❤🤘

[@krakenoxe]

You're not the coolest but you're the realest therapist ever 😍

[@MrCashewkitty]

She should also checkbout APC. The 13th Step is written all about addiction. Songs are written from different perspectives from someone on the outside looking in to the drug itself calling to the user

[@Tsureiki]

I've listened to this song for almost 2 decades and have used it's wisdom to help me with letting go of many grudges since I first listened to it. Recently I had a conflict with a coworker that has led him be essentially fired because he chooses to hold a grudge against me and not apologize for basically assaulting me (nothing that crazy, he got up in my face and started screaming at me and then shoved me.) I wish I could show him this song to help him, honestly. He's unemployed now so he's only hurting himself by holding on to this.

[@ChimneyMan27]

I liked your thoughts about realizing you still have choice even if choices were taken away from you in the past. It’s a hard hurdle to get through but being aware of that pattern is liberating (and scary, in a good way)

[@LouisWritingSomethingCrazy]

Our grudges don't give us power. They hold power over us.

[@WyattWade]

Omg…. Tool therapy. This is amazing. I watched them play this live 20 years ago. I really felt you talking through that. Great channel.

[@SolZer]

Thank you for this. One of my fav Tool songs, and whenever I revisit it is so therapeutic. We all have grudges; let it go.

[@amyroberts5445]

The beauty of this song is, unlike other Tool songs that masquerade as lighthearted and shallow but then plunge us into depths we weren't expecting to explore, this song starts us off, right at the title, in the deepest, darkest, scariest place we can possibly imagine and then pulls us up into an area that is just normal human behavior. That line, "my lamb and martyr, this will be over soon, you look so precious..." the world, or in this case, prison, is a terrifying place at first. So we latch on to the first beings we encounter, our parents or families, or in this case or cell mates, to protect us and comfort us, to make us feel safe. And in return, those other beings, show us they love us and care about us the same way they were shown love when they entered this world. They teach us how to survive thru not only tenderness and compassion, but also thru punishments, rules and structure so that someday you'll be able to "protect" your own lamb and martyr, the one you will have to do all those things, good and bad, to in order to prepare them for their own "lambs" one day. And only in those moments, when you're forced to be the same monster you encountered that you thought would only show you tenderness, only then will you understand why the punishments were necessary and coming from a place of love and not just some traumatic betrayal.

[@felipevalenzuela4957]

Hello, I have always been a fan of Tool and I really like their music and this song always appears when I need it most, thank you very much for giving me encouragement I really needed it at this moment

[@delugesofgrandeur]

As someone who probably needs therapy, but doesn't seek therapy, she could therapize me.

[@rexahdar4199]

I have been eagerly awaiting you to analyse and enjoy this song. This song is a therapy session in music.

[@JMulvy]

The first reaction where I didn't have to explain the return of Saturn, I love it! When Saturn first returned for me (I was in late my 20s) I had to let go of a lot of anger connected to my distant past and I became a very different person than what I knew. I still remember listening to this in the shower, trying to let things go as the water washed over me when I had my epiphany. Before that day I felt like a child trapped in a adult's body. Nowadays, I can't even remember what I was so angry at for those 20 something years. Thank you so much for this channel. It is so much more than just music reaction and I tell all my friends about it. Much love. 🤗

[@crayb420]

I use their music as a tool to help me face my demons ranging from sexual abuse, my mother passing from cancer, being confined to a prosthetic leg since I was 8,etc. Thanks for your insight into these last few tool tracks, really gives me a new outlook on life....♡

[@alexramirez118]

I love taking this roller-coaster of emotions with you ❤

[@KyleS.1987]

I've been holding grudges against people who don't even know I exist for years. Know how I recently let go? I deleted Twitter. I'm not thinking about these people anymore and I'm at least 5% happier for it.

[@robbyascher9090]

You are a breath of fresh air. Thank you!!

[@martinpacker8583]

Would love to see this lady interview Maynard, would be a fascinating watch

[@That_Metal_Dude]

He would interview her 😂

[@michaelrobinson4700]

@heartsupport just know I love your reactions and as I'm dealing with a betrayal by my own daughter, something I never thought possible, this was a great one to help me try to find a way to the other side, which has been a struggle for a year now. Thank you

[@grankin01]

Recently I’ve had a year of both Heaven and Hell. Soaring highs and crippling lows. It took a while, but I found my footing and clawed my way back to my form of mental entropy. During that long night I found peace in knowing. When you see both sides of the pain, you gain power and control over it.

[@DetroitJehu]

I’ve always loved Tool but I’m so thankful for this particular reaction and break down. I made a choice not to live with a grudge and let it control me years ago and I think it’s made all the difference in my life. This song perfectly encapsulates that, and your break down just brought to life the true meaning of the song and message for me, and for that, thank you.

[@priely5149]

This song is opening to one of the best albums ever made. The entry ticket.

[@Cujo8600]

Best Tool song ever made.

[@cbdawg4242]

Love you got to this!!! Lateralus is next from Tool, is a vibe and a journey!!

[@BenjaminForsell-t6i]

Recently divorced, with a partner for 19 years, that was silent about resentment and grudge of appreciation. but never spoke to her needs. bottled up fear of communication and vulnerability, and Trauma. she would never speak of the hurt ever even when deep diving into childhood. vulnerability is a choice and is difficult to share. where do we start even as separated parents to repair the harm?

[@HeartSupport]

From Micro: @user-sc8wl8qn6g It's really hard when the person you sahre your life with has been holding grudges/resentment against you without saying it. It sounds like they have been experiencing this resentment for a while and chose to take it all in rather than communicating it with you, which must have come as a complete shock on your end once you were made aware of it. I can only imagine how it must have felt as if somehow your relationship was partially built on lies, or at least on a lack of open communication. It's hard to realize that the person we love was hurting but wasn't ready to open up about their feelings. We would naturally expect for our significant other, especially after 19 years, to feel safe enough to talk to us. But as you've described, sometimes these struggles have been there for an even longer time, which makes it difficult to even consider opening up as an option. With childhood trauma especially, we might learn that it is safer to not talk about our feelings, and realize that doing so is actually an effective way to survive in an unsafe environment. It becomes your default way to deal with contradictions and arguments - keeping it all in so that you don't bother the other person, you don't risk to deal with a negative reaction and you don't risk to see them rejecting you. It's hard though because on your side you see how much all of this stems from fears and past wounds, yet your relationship has suffered the consequences of it directly. It's almost as if you share the same space with someone but they are isolated within four invisible walls that separates them from you, at least on an emotional level. You want to reach them but don't know how, and this sense of helplessness is so brutal. I'm really sorry that you've been experiencing this, friend. As you've said, vulnerability is difficult to share, even something absolutely terrifying for some of us. Learning that it is safe to share it can be a slow process, but one that is always worth exploring, eventually with the help of a professional too. It is a challenging process, but one that is absolutely worth it.

[@wallchris75]

Guys i think shes ready for Maynards mom trilogy.

[@jimmorris67]

Fear Inoculum came out well before the pandemic so I would be interested in your opinion on Tools lyrics.Were they telling us what was coming considering the lockdowns and excessive authoritarianism that came to be.Was that the real thing to fear?It changed things and normal is altered now.Hope you get to this song off their most current album with the same title Fear Inoculum 🤘🏼

[@4W0RD5]

I feel like Judith by A Perfect Circle (Maynard's other band) would make for a great reaction here

[@JonathanSullivan-zq3ur]

The cliche goes- Holding a grudge is like swallowing poison and hoping that the other person dies

[@mikejohnson4255]

I really enjoy your breakdown of Tool songs. Just about the entirety of the band’s discography is loaded with deeply meaningful and insightful compositions. H would be a great song to do next!

[@RogerFlynt966]

as a male genx'er, showing emotion was usually met with a beating. having suffered from S*icid@l ideation from about 12 onward i can truly say that Tool has given me validation. and that validation is largely responsible for me making it into my 20's. Well into my 40's at this point I often find myself seeking out Tool therapy when im low and they never fail to remind me that it's ok to be down, take a step back, reassess the situation and come out of that sh!t like a phoenix....it's my choice

[@DRSmith8808]

This was awesome. This album has a ton of occultism behind it fyi. Aleister Crowley stuff etc. I believe Saturn ascends/returns pertains to the 28/29 yr orbit of Saturn, and how at ages 28/29, 56/57, etc your life comes to some kind of a turning point and you need to choose. 1 or 10 pertains to the 10 sephiroth of Kabbalah. Turning lead to gold also pertains to alchemy and spiritual transmutation, Freemason stuff. Or something like that. PLEASE DO PUSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@illuminahde]

👆👍

[@Filterdeez]

Alchemy is a very common theme in their music, and I love it!

[@Qliphirot]

Someone who did the thumbnail got it

[@lachlansprigg1434]

It's also talking about the catholic Church and their persecution of Gallileo. Brilliant double lyricism from Maynard

[@JDLR956]

Great song and great job breaking it down. Thank you 🙏

[@abentevent]

@heartsupport as I watch this I realized that I do In fact hold a grudge, and I've worn them proudly in the past. I've been learning to let go. Music therapy works. Thank you heartsupport. Thank you Tool.

[@brianhays1797]

My fav Tool song. When I started feeling better with my depression after many attempts at self harm (specifically cutting and my one suicide attempt) I actually started to miss my depression. It had become such a part of my being, I didn’t know how to exist without feeling shitty.

[@Filterdeez]

Need to do Right in Two by Tool!!!

[@Obi-WanMaroney]

I'm forever holding a grudge for that pause.

[@Itsthatoneguy371]

She didn’t know, but she’ll never forget it!

[@chetnolan7496]

I absolutely love your channel, I absolutely love Tool and I absolutely love you !!! You're beautiful and have a lovely smile, a great personality, and have killer facial expressions . 😀❤️🤘

[@le_bourgeoisee]

Just learned abou Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP). And that made a lot of sense about how I work. And when I listen to Tool I can see why Tool appealed to me as a teenager and why the connection of tool's fanbase is so strong. Just so many people who despair of their fellow human beings.

[@DragonSlayerKaloon]

It was rough when my Dad passed away back in February 24, 2008, but things hit me really hard when my Mom passed away in 2019, then my brother I was really close to passed away in 2020, then I felt all alone when my Sister passed away in 2021. I have a bunch of songs I listen to when I miss them below is a list of some of these songs I listen to. Me and My Brother - 5ive Sissy's Song - Alan Jackson You Should Be Here - Cole Swindell Dad - Tyler Wood See You Again (feat. Charlie Puth) - Wiz Khalifa, Charlie Puth

[@caseyo1060]

I have alot of there albums on vinyl. The best way to take them in. Good music always helps the soul.

[@dennisbarker5986]

Love it , you should check out a perfect circle kindred next

[@nikolasbuhl1646]

Thank you for your perspective...I've been a tool fan since before you were born pretty sure, but I really enjoy watching your funny faces and expert analysis...

[@DanielRodriguez-eh1qd]

I highly suggest checking out The Patient from Tool. It’s my favorite song from them next to Right in Two. The lyrics and themes would be right up your alley.

[@RossPattonTattooedNomad]

Go back and listen to the amazing musicianship after the scream. Idk if you heard it all over the talking 😉

[@brianhandwork9762]

Having a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

[@TC-by3il]

Tool - Reflection is another great track from the album to respond to. There's so many really.

[@franciscojavierramirezhern8588]

She understands the assessment. Like it.

[@bevrosity]

tool is frickin therapeutic

[@johnkm77]

Saturn represents destruction in order to make room for the new. So, Saturn ascending could be the destruction of the old and the beginning of the new. Saturn also represents wisdom and unveiling of the hidden. Saturn is depicted as holding a lantern - shining light on things. Choose 1 or 10 refers to the astrological significance of those numbers. 1 is ruled by the sun and represents trait that are based in ego. 10 is ruled by Saturn and represents ascension, personal growth, overcoming, etc. Chose 1 or 10...

[@amine.assila1]

When she paused before the scream..i was oh boy she doenst know about it 😂 ready...set..

[@boba4199]

If you really want a deep therapeutic session see them live 😀

[@crowbear516]

After the last "let go", the instruments always make me think of the tower card.

[@Andy-nl8uq]

I love watching people react and interpret tools music. Ive known this song for over 20 years now, and never considered that maynard was making the song itself a saturn point. The song itself is the driving force to make the choice. Wonderful interpretation and ill hear this song in a new light now ♥️

[@AndrewKeck-q9u]

I’ve Always like TOOL, they Always have a Story to tell! I talked to my therapist about it. Also, the music I mean. Someday it’s all I listen to plus some songs from A Perfect Circle. I can relate to so many of them! Some days I feel like I’m healed, most days no! I just have this dark side that won’t let go!