NRI dilemma | Regrets in later phases

This video and channel is about the my experience as NRI who lived in US, Sweden, Denmark, Philippines and visited couple more countries however finally decided to come back and settle in India with my loved ones. Mostly i am covering my background, Reason for moving back, how did I planned the move, reasons for going abroad again after living in India for 3 years, Career transition, Kids social life, Advice for the future aspirants and finally experience in India.
✅ My Mission.
My mission is to provide support and guidance for Non-Resident Indians (NRIs) who are considering or planning to return to India. I am trying to help people who are in dilemma and provide suggestion based on their situation. We as Indian has shared dream to make our country as best place for their citizens as well as for expats. I share informative and engaging content about frequently asked questions related to finance, culture, job opportunities, real estate etc.,. My goal is to help you make an informed decision about your move to India and to ensure a smooth transition back to your home country.
✅ Stay Connected With me.
Follow, Chat or Talk with me on Instagram: "hemantdubey79"
Follow my KZbin channel: @hemantaim / @hemantaim
OCI related information: ociservices.go...
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Below are Important videos links about my journey from Dilemma then making decision and reaching India which will help audience in making decision about return to India or migrating from India.
NRI dilemma | Regrets in later phases
• NRI dilemma | Regrets ...
NRI respect in India
• NRI respect in India |...
NRI depression and Vacuum in life
• NRI depression and Vac...
Trigger point to decide return to India
• Trigger point to decid...
Top 10 reasons why I came back to India
• Top 10 reasons why I c...
Kids Thinking About Moving to India?
• "Kids Thinking About M...
Kids adjustment issue after shifting to India and Solutions
• Kids adjustment issue ...
OCI kids education fees and quota in India
• OCI kids education fee...
OCI card benefits and limitations
• OCI card benefits and ...
Retirement Corpus(money) in India at 40 or later
• Video
Retire at 40 and settle in India| retirement for NRI
• Retire at 40 and settl...
Total Monthly expenses in India(conclusion)
• Total Monthly expenses...
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#hemantdubey
#hemanthdubey
#returntoindia
#oci #ocicardfornri #ociprocess #ociadvantagesinindia #OCIcard
#returntoindiafromusa #nridilemma #nri #movingbacktoindia
#backtoindia #MoveBackToIndia #NRIReturnToIndia #NRIReturningPermanently #NRI #ReverseMigrationToIndia #ReturnToIndiaFromUSA #ReturnToIndiaAfterLongTime #BackToIndiaAfterLongTime #NRISettlingBackInIndia #ReverseMigrationInIndia #MonthlyExpensesInIndia #MovingBackToIndiaFromUSA #ReverseMigration #MovingToIndia #NRIWeakDecisionMaking
#indianculture #Careers #nri #india #careers #desi #startup #backtoindia #indianculture #Careers #nri #india #returntoindia #startupindia #layoffs #financialfreedom #culture #careertransition #taxplanning #CareerInIndia #FamilyInIndia #FinancialFreedomInIndia #IndianCulture #FinancialPlanning #ITRForNonResidentIndian #NonResidentIndianAccount #NonResidentIndianBenefits #NRIAccount #NRIAdvantagesAndDisadvantages #NRIAccountMinimumBalance #ResidentIndian #nonresidentindian #StartupInIndia #IndianEconomy #StartupStories #MoveBackToIndia #ReturnToIndiaFromUSA #nrilife #nritales #backtoindia#FamilyLifeinIndiaandInsights #Desireturn
"Disclaimer: This Video or podcast represents the opinion of Mr. Hemant Dubey and his guest on the video/podcast. The content here should not be taken as theoretical facts as it is the experience of Mr. Hemant Dubey or his host who has expressed to provide better perspective while making decisions. The content here is informational purposes only and as each person is so unique so please use your own research and knowledge while making any decisions."
Copyright Notice: This video and my KZbin channel contain dialog, music, and images that are the property of @hemantaim You are authorized to share the video link and channel and embed this video in your website or others as long as a link back to my KZbin Channel is provided.

[@danielguide2457]

I want to start re-distributing my portfolio to some digital currencies and also other stocks with that in mind. I know the second quarter holds a lot of promise. I'm thinking of sharing my portfolio of about 300k over different asset classes. Any recommendations?

[@BINDERANDREAULRIKE]

No specific suggestions from me, but all I can say is that he's really likely to win. It's really not as difficult to smartly distribute your assets as many people assume. It requires a certain level of expertise, which ordinary investors lack, so a financial advisor usually comes in very handy.

[@WilliamsTyler5]

I agree. A financial advisor can really help you re-adjust and identify blindspots that you yourself do not notice, like mine did in advising me during COVID on how the pandemic will shape things, and I made it out big and still make up to at least 20k in dividend per month.

[@EdwardsLluka]

Could you recommend who you work with please? I'll love to establish contact with her.

[@WilliamsTyler5]

Her name is ’Melissa Jean Talingdan’. Just research the name. You’d find necessary details to work with a correspondence to set up an appointment.

[@EdwardsLluka]

I just curiously looked her up on the web and I would say she really has an impressive background in investing. I will write her an email shortly.

[@dashingateeq...116]

Me too in 5% people. Explored and earned dollars for 8 years but loneliness was hitting me hard plus I was exhausted with culture. Came back to India and happy

[@hemantaim]

True

[@trivender007]

Short absence sharpens love.. long absence kills it!

[@amolsw]

So, in what context ? I mean how it is applicable in case of living abroad or india

[@milindshesh3283]

how it is applicable in NRI case ?

[@fcaatir]

One of my friends moved to Canada few years back, with a single goal in mind, to give his kids better upbringing and opportunities than he himself had. Although I didn't think he had it tough here as comes from a fairly privileged background, but that was his choice. This made me realise that many people move to another country because of their future generations and not for themselves. I myself have never been able to convince myself to move even to another city, away from people I know. I am of the view kam kha lenge, magar sabke sath khayenge.

[@ango586]

Bacche vahan bade ho Ke ma baap Aur culture less ho jaye hain

[@bonran]

@@ango586 Aur Hidustan mein cultureful rehete hain??

[@ango586]

@@bonran Haan mahol ka society ka farak to padta Hai..

[@anupriyagoswami5083]

Exactly....my husband got a very good opportunity just after we got married....he was very excited but i never thought to go anywhere leaving behind everything.I struggled very hard and at last i told him you go there i'll get shifted to PG & start my job but he was not ready for this....and finally decided not to go.I can't even imagine my daughter not knowing our culture language humaare khet humaari duniya....main to ye soch k pareshaan ho jaati thi ki main apni beti ko apni language kaise sikhaaun.Lekin bhagwaan ki kripa at the age of 3.4months she speaks hindi and our native language as well.I just can't explain my feeling when she speaks my native language.No money and Wealth can give u that peace.My husband says ki main usse English mein baat karun...but i don't feel that needs to learn,when she will go to school she definitely will start that by her own but before that she needs to learn our language.And i m ok with it.

[@meet43342]

@@bonran ye tum sachme puch rahe ho ya troll kar rahe ho?

[@sharatsh]

Spent 10 yrs abroad US/UK..saved a lot...came back and living like king... Bharat jindabad...

[@thesidd19]

I think it is best strategy, earn in dollars spend in rupee later.

[@1Bond007]

That’s the best thing

[@tinachaudry8150]

So you’re admitting that it’s not possible to earn a lot in India? Have to go out of your own beloved country to make money so you can come back and live in the same country that didn’t offer you the same opportunities?

[@mohit_talniya]

@@tinachaudry8150 it’s possible. But that’s a quick way.

[@AbhishekSingh-du5di]

@@tinachaudry8150 Don't start a debate. Sometimes you have to understand certain things in life that no one plans every step of their life in advance.

[@salmansaifi1249]

But the big question is that why we all need to go abroad for money and lifestyle what are the needs for that why we are not happy in less. When you leave your country you are not just leaving your country you are leaving all those people with whome you have spent your 20-30 years who made you what you are today. Can someone tell me is it worth leaving all these just for the money and lifestyle?? We human birth to make relation and to make life happy and piecefull not for money this is not the real aim of our life and it is not always about you that what will you get there how your life will be their?it is also that what your loved one will feel when you leave them?? And why i am saying all these things because i am also on that stage of my life where i have to choose whether i should go abroad or stay here on india with parents and everyone who loves me? I am also confused because staying in india is harder professionally but leaving india and everyone is also feeling like i am going to lose everything😔 can anyone help me in this

[@hemantaim]

It's tough decision to make...... connect with me on Instagram at hemantdubey79

[@ajfathers482]

All great points ! I have been living in the USA for last 14 years and I am around 48Y old so I am in the "3rd stage" in your timeline. Here are my thoughts: 1. Work Culture: I personally have worked in top-notch Indian IT companies for like 10Y before coming here and I have seen both sides of work culture ! To be blunt, the work culture in India is nothing less than slavery and I am not even considering the workplace politics due to cut throat competition. Once you work here (in developed countries like the USA) even for a few months, you see this difference and wonder why not live this life instead of back in India? I recently visited India and I saw that the work culture there is still the same i.e. go early to beat the traffic, come home late again due to the extra work pressure (due to cut throat competition) as well as traffic and I realized that there is no way I can willingly accept it instead of my current relaxed life style here in the USA. If the American managers see the employees working after 4 PM during weekdays or see you online on weekends, those managers will insist employees to stop working and spend time with family (they are even willing to extend the deadlines). You can't even imagine that happening in the Indian IT work culture ! Again, these issues are mostly related to too much population and cut throat competition (like they say in India, "there is always someone standing behind you to take your job if you show some slack") !! 2. The quality of life: There is no debate in this area that life in the western countries is much more smooth and upscale compared to back in India (even if you are making good money in India) e.g. air pollution, traffic issues, infrastructure issues like water/power/roads etc, Gov offices corruption, and a lot of other social issues like safety for women/kids etc. 3. Social Life: This is something where everyone has their own version ! I lived in Mumbai and then Pune for total 10 years combined and my parents live in Kolhapur (actually not even in the Kolhapur city, but in a small town near Kolhapur). Visiting parents and relatives in your home town from Mumbai/Pune may sound like very easy on paper (false feeling of being "very close") but practically once your kids start growing up, the frequency drops to like max twice a year (unless some special event comes up), which is basically same as if you are living in the USA (we also visit India once a year). Folks from UK visit India even more frequently than us (my friends from Dubai and UK used to visit my home town more frequently than how I used to visit from Mumbai...lol) ! As far as neighbors/friends are concerned, we have more close and genuine friends here in the USA than we had in Mumbai or Pune (again depends on individual case) and the reason being now a days in the USA if you live in a big city, there is a huge Indian population unlike if you live in rural areas within the USA. In Mumbai we rarely used to see our neighbors since we all used to leave at 6 AM and come back after 8 PM (you know the local/bus/cab/auto travel in big cities like Mumbai/Pune/Bangalore etc) while here in the USA 95% of the folks reach home max by 5 PM (in fact more than half work from home anyway) and spend time with family, go to gym, play sports with friends etc (imagine doing that during weekdays if you work in Mumbai/Bangalore/Pune/Hyderabad etc). The life in Indian cities is very robotic and machine like compared to the life in western big cities ! So the social life now a days here in the USA is much better (than what used to be say 20Y ago) due to a lot of Indians around you. In spite of being in the USA, we communicate more in Hindi and Marathi compared to in English...lol. We celebrate Diwali/Dasara/Holi/Gudi Padwa etc in much larger way and without fail every year while I don't have any such unique memories from my Mumbai days (obviously due to very busy life style and work culture as I mentioned above). 4. Parents: Now, this is the only sensitive topic where there is no easy way to overcome the problem that old parents can't (or won't) come to the USA while you still want to meet them ! Of course many parents (especially from big Indian cities) come here and live very happily permanently but if your parents are from small town then the culture difference is huge and they get bored easily so start missing their small-town-life (where they have a huge company of their age or visiting relative all the time). But remember, the same thing happens if your parents come from their small home-town to live with you in Mumbai/Bangalore/Pune/Hyderabad etc big cities! They get bored there too if they have to live the robotic life in Mumbai/Bangalore etc (I have seen this). 5. Our retired life: Well, if we compare apples to apples, you can live really happy and peaceful retired life in the USA if you plan properly and also "re-size" your quality of life e.g. instead of a 5 bedroom house you can move to a flat (apartment) or a small 1 or 2 bedroom house since kids won't be with you anyway. Again, before you think "kids wont be there?", remember, even in India kids leave small towns for education/career etc so let's be realistic ! Unless you have a family business to run in India, the "loneliness" in the old age people talk about is similar in both India as well as in the USA, so no matter what the issues are in the old age, those are similar in both India as well as here. Point being, please don't compare the old age life in India which used to be like 20 Y ago, compare the "current" issues of old people in India with those in the USA ! 6. Cultural values in Kids: Again, if you think about how we used to behave with parents/elders when we were small kids, then those days are gone ! Compare the cultural values in the "today's" Indian big-city kids (e.g. Mumbai, Bangalore, Noida, Hyderabad, Pune etc) and those of Indian kids in big US cities and you will be shocked... trust me ! Please go and listen to the language or see the behavior of kids in the convent schools/colleges in Indian big cities and then listen to our kids here in the USA and you might think that our kids are more cultured in spite of being born and brought up so far away from India ! I am not bragging about my own kids but you can visit any Indian function/event here in the USA and see how the Indian kids (I mean kids of Indian parents) behave with us (elders). 7. Weather : This is a wide topic/range based on where you are. Some folks have serious issues with the cold weather while others get adjusted very easily. Also, even within the USA, northern cities are very cold (e.g. Chicago, NY etc), while the southern cities (e.g. Houston, LA, San Diego etc) are much warmer and closer to Indian weather so a lot of Indians (Desis) prefer to settle in the southern states if possible and hence the social/outdoor life is also much better (e.g. playing cricket/soccer/tennis outdoor even in winter is common here in Houston) compared to snowy cities in the north (I have lived in NJ as well as Houston so I have seen this difference). So comparing life in Stockholm/Oslo/Edinburgh/Chicago/NY etc with life in Austin/Houston/LA/San Diego/Miami is like comparing life in Srinagar with life in Kanyakumari 😉. Point being, it's wrong to assume that "USA means snow" or "overseas means depressing/snowy life" 😉. All in all, like you said, it's a subjective decision, and your personality as well as your specific situation (e.g. handling your family business in hometown Vs working in IT in a big city away from your parents/relatives) will decide your happiness ! Similarly, if you are a very "spiritual" person then you will enjoy India more but if you are a regular "materialistic" person (you know what I mean 😉) then a developed country is the best bet for you. Same like you (Hemant), I have seen life on both sides and even in this age (48Y) I am still not willing to come back to India for good ! As a tourist, to meet parents/relatives/friends is perfectly fine but not for a working/regular/daily life !!! The day-to-day challenges are just way too much there in India compared to here in the USA. I mean we all love India as a country but there is nothing wrong in choosing a better quality life elsewhere and still love India, correct? 😉 And, in the end, please remember, "it always looks greener on the other side !" 😛 If you are working in the USA (or in any other developed country) then before you take any drastic decision after hearing fancy stories from others who went back to India, please go visit India, even stay for a few months and get a job and work there, see how you like that life and then take the permanent decision ! Not everyone has same priorities and the definition of "good" life changes from person to person ! Just because someone else is very happy after going back to India doesn't mean that you will be too !!! Also, I was in the UK as well for 9 months and my honest opinion is, there is a huge difference in the USA life Vs the UK life (probably other European cities are same). I felt the USA has become like a mini-India, plus USA being an immigrant's country, the "reservation" in their mind is minimum i.e. they (Americans) are more accepting compared to folks in other countries. You mix with them within no time and even your kids quickly make American friends (although Indians are everywhere now a days). But even within the USA, there might be some folks living lonely/depressing life in a corner so it all depends upon where you live and what kind of friends you have around you (which is basically the same rule in India too). Saying "you should live in India" is equally wrong as saying "you should live overseas" ! The correct suggestion should be "you get one life, so live wherever you like and do whatever job that makes you happy" !! Like you said, there is no "one size fits all" definition for "Happiness" and "Good Quality Life", is it?😊🙏

[@abhi9029]

Great!

[@manavisharma2092]

Well said 👍🏻

[@andycavy]

Well said.. 🙂

[@amitmitra11]

You are a perfect example of a Non Required Indian (NRI) ... lolz !!!

[@S_Chandra503]

Good points

[@fars1d3s]

I read many years ago that emigrating means you become a stranger in 2 countries: the country you emigrate TO, and the country you emigrate FROM. Think hard BEFORE emigrating!

[@anjusangle619]

So true!

[@batmanrecharged]

Copy pasted same comment from same kind of videos...good

[@ksherasumith]

True , success is both happiness and wealth in life journey but people prefer wealth and stay in abroad even happiness is not there. Then people suffer for happiness. Life is all about balancing both simulatenously. People who balance both till end is a successful man. Health automatically maintenances when both are there with him. Once one misses health also starts detrimental.

[@hemantaim]

Agree

[@RanjithAnnepu]

We're not alone in migrating. The entirety of human civilization is about migrations. All of us migrated out of Africa, for opportunities or out of fear. Many generations in India migrated from rural to urban areas. You're however right that there's a chance of becoming strangers in two places. Similarly, there's a chance of making friends in two places like many in the comments said. It is all up to us. One is easy for some and the other is easy for others. Hemant is right that if you're closer to your parents, it makes it possible and easy to take care of them.

[@AshokKumar-rb3qp]

I am a single child, and i had decided at the start of my carrier only, that i will not go to foreign, since i cannot compromise on leaving my parents alone. And today, after 13 years of my professional life, at many stages i have realized that, it was a very good decision.

[@lonewolfe2502]

Same brother. Good for you. You have taken the best decision of your life.

[@ash_raut]

i m 23 years old completed my graduation last year in 2022 many of my friends went abroad for studies even i wanted to go but I will not because I also a single child and I dont want leave them alone .I want to show them whole world ofcourse and take care of them in their old age.

[@shourjosarkar2058]

Same here bro...jeena yahan..marna yaha...iske siwa jana Kahan.

[@kapoorvarun85]

tera visa nahi laga hoga bete

[@saikrishna-fz1xf]

Am also a single child to my parents but they never want to see me back in India.

[@maanuiitd]

Very good perspective. I had a chance to go to Europe but decided not to go, as all my relatives live in India. Parents are from UP (rural background, who cant be settled in cities, let alone abroad). I am settled in Noida just about 100 km away from my parents. Visit them almost every week or they do. Lost my father couple of months back sadly. Me along with my brothers and sister are so proud they we took of care my father until his last breath. Now we are taking good care of our mother. So, I dont regret my decision to not go abroad. Now, working in a Singapore based company but remotely, keep visiting these countries regulary. One of my collegue shared recently that he feel so sad that when his father passed away, nither of he and his brother (one is settled in Singapore and other in the US) was there with his father. IMO, at the end, relations matter more than money. Plus, instead of thinking in binary terms, we can have middle path (like suggested in the video) that we can live in nearby cities and plus now working remotely provides the opportunities to work from there and visit abroad to expereince of different cultures. 🙏

[@pan1247]

I appreciate your response and decision to not move to overseas. Unfortunately, I couldn’t avoid this mistake. I’m from Muzaffarnagar (UP) and living & working in Australia from last 16 Years but always felt homesick and now planning reverse migration. Let’s share contacts to discuss things in common if interested

[@SandeepB2603]

The Golden words are "it depends on your personality ".....less emotional people would overlook these matters and accept it as it is ..but for emotional people, its a trauma that will haunt them in later years...

[@anupriyagoswami5083]

No for emotional people it will haunt day and night....not in only later days

[@hemantaim]

True

[@dennyrose3689]

But every Human has emotions and, what your saying is not natural. To completely cut of your emotions to live a life in U.S how can you call this life or happiness?

[@mswr3351]

I am 28 years old and thank god I was very clear about it since my college days.. I just can’t live far from my frnds and family and want my kids to grow up in our Lovely country 🤗 Sometimes ppl let us feel we are aimless or not ambitious.. but I feel I am clear what kind of life I want and don’t do things just for show off stuff😂

[@taranbirsohi7568]

Very well said .

[@AmitSangwan123]

I realised all these stages in my first job, so never tried to go to US 😅😅. Now working remotely from my village for a US company, will buy some more land and leave corportate 😅

[@KhopdiTodSaleKa]

“Our kids will have better lives” , but at what cost ? You have accepted that your life is over in your early 30s or late 20s and you are okay with forever being an alien in a different country , leaving your language , culture and art behind , ready to forever struggle with new cultural zeitgeist for rest of your life .You will be discussing desi politics more than the host country’s after years of even being a citizen there. This is just unacceptable for me and a symptom we subconsciously got from our Indian parents . This habit of “sacrificing one’s life” for kids need to freaking stop . Live for yourself first dude . No one knows and you have sometimes little control over whether your kid of going to be next Sunder Pichai in SF or a drug addict in some deserted lane after 30 years .

[@sampurnaghosh4531]

Excellent! I am a doctor. My husband is engineer. We both had lot of opportunities to settle in abroad. Somehow we understood in very young age what you said here… we never settled outside india. I love my roots, my country. We are so happy here

[@hemantaim]

Great!!!!

[@mukeshpatel-gj4sd]

Yes you right ? Been in uk still not accepted??here 60 years ? No life chasing money ? What for ?

[@truptishende5000]

​@@mukeshpatel-gj4sd sir can i get your number

[@BlueSkiesAbove39]

Thank you for not stealing our jobs.

[@user-zy7yz4dc8e]

​@@BlueSkiesAbove39 your jobs are already outsourced.

[@rishabhpawar4848]

Staying here In India Deal with Competition - Coaching system No minimum salary bracket Private Schools - hefty fees Private Hospitals - Long Bills Low Quality of Life Growing Population - Traffic and Pollution Work Pressure - No Work-Life Balance No respect for Individual Toxic Political Culture Huge money is spent on Education + Health in India The benefit is Staying close to your Parents and enjoying Street Food and celebrating festivals with them. Share your feeling

[@hemantaim]

Mostly agree

[@Pritha879]

Onsite employees work 24 by 7 in the USA..

[@bilalpeerzade3559]

Only point I don’t agree is healthcare. Healthcare is excellent in india. In US even after paying high premiums for medical insurance you are billed for co insurance amount which is normally very high and would cost much less in india. To give you an example just for a regular medical check up with a specialist you pay $30 copay. India me 2500 rupees ne specialist ghar aa k check karega. And if you do normal procedures on top of it you get a bill let’s say $8000 and they will show you that cos you had insurance, it covered 6400-7000 now you pay the diff let’s say $1000. Same procedure might cost at max 5000 INR at best facilities. Point is, healthcare is much expensive here even after insurance. There are cheaper options available but it cuts down your options a lot and you don’t take that kind of risk with kids. Getting appointments with specialist is also very challenging, unlike india you can’t walk-in. Kuch galat bol raha hu Hemant bhai?

[@hemantaim]

Totally agree

[@acecala3576]

Agree on whatever you listed. I have worked in tech in India before moving to US and I literally had no time for myself or even my parents. I would leave home at 7am and come back at 10:30pm. My parents are old and living alone in India. In next couple of years I will move back to help them, but I know that work culture is still the same there, so I am unsure of how will I find time on daily basis to help my parents. I bought them a home in super expensive area of Mumbai thinking that we will find better people there, but it was still the same... people don't respect individuals anywhere. I tried fighting back multiple times but I was shut down mainly because I am young and a woman. My parents are sometimes heard because they are seniors, but it's only after they fight a lot with the system. At this age, I want them to leave peacefully.

[@dhruvpatel3614]

I just turned 38 and allready going to the face you have mentioned it’s 1000% correct I am thinking the same and trying to convince my wife who is more concern for the kids future . In that case I have to say that kids will have great experiences knowing the Indian side face and they might don’t want to go back to usa once they give their 2/3 years to india. And in future if they want to go back and pursue for higher studies or degrees they can since they will have us passport . One more thing to let all know in am here since 2006 and got my GC in 2018 had just traveled twice to india. I will have little tough time to understand india for a year or two but eventually I will be settled quickly, I am here is us for allmost 17 years but still not happy and cannot see my self here in future or my kids. My 4 friends and their family are feeling the same . We Indians here in usa are just a working puppet for paying taxes left and right more money you make more bills you pay 😅 India 🇮🇳 I am coming C u in couple years

[@spurthimm]

We too went back to India in 2006 after living in the US for 11 years for me and 15 years for my husband. Our kids were 6 and 2 then. It was THE BEST decision we made. We had a wonderful time there... kids grew up along with so many cousins and grandparents and seeing and being part of all the culture and festivals there. Though school was not easy compared to the US, but they managed. Here in the US you will have everything, all luxury, nice big house, nice cars, but can't share that happiness with your loved ones who are back in India. There is some kind of VOID here in the US. Why I'm saying "here" is, we recently moved back to US in 2021 for kids higher education, after living in India for 15 years. But I'm hating it here after seeing what true life is in India. So if you are feeling you are missing everything in India, best thing is GO back to India, you won't regret it. There is life and happiness there. Though you will face lot of problems... but I feel there is happiness in everything. Good luck.

[@hemantaim]

Take decision quick before it's late.....also don't think too much.....as u r coming home not going another country

[@dhruvpatel3614]

@@hemantaim thanks for sharing your experience 👍

[@dhruvpatel3614]

@@spurthimm thanks so much for your reply 👍

[@RanjithAnnepu]

Paying taxes doesn't change.

[@rashn2065]

I am speechless at how eloquently you defined this complete life cycle. I am probably at the second stage. My parents and family have moved on so much with their life, without me, they don't even call on my birthday and anniversary..only a simple text! They are more involved with my siblings and the grandkids they have there. I felt bad initially but I also realized that when they really need someone there only my siblings would be able to help. It will take me at least week or two just to reach there as I have a small kid too now. It is a very hard life in many ways. Not to say that there are no positives. But you have to accept that relationships will start fading no matter how hard you try.

[@hemantaim]

It's truth and the early you realise will help you planning better future

[@manojmohan9926]

Thumbi vaa thuma

[@liblib1815]

They will forget you in India also with age. It’s just a matter of time. At least my parents and in laws have forgotten their children in India as well. With aging effects they have slowed down.

[@rashn2065]

@@liblib1815 I completely forgot the aging factor. You are right, I guess the aging in itself affects the relationships as well. The less of a person they see, the faster they will forget the person.

[@Live2learn-gr8]

You are right , when you came back , people and everything here have moved on ... We tend to come back for what we have left behind .... and if you have older kids then they face lot of issues , even if they you have brought up indian way

[@ShivaniSharma-ws2eu]

Punjab me aam btt hai ye...hr kisi ko Canada jana hai...😒

[@genxer632]

Hemant, I am 56 years old now. Wow, that sounds old! I went to the U.S. when I was 24 and returned home at the age of 34. I do not have any regret for returning back. I was able to look after my parents and in-laws as well. My daughter, having been born there, is a US citizen. She is moving back there next Friday for her masters. As you can guess, as I know, it is very difficult to say and / or guess whether she will come back. But, it is gonna be her decision again, just I took mine couple of decades ago. I just found this video of yours. Well said. It’s a complex and difficult situation and decision, indeed.

[@jagatdave]

All these gyaan this guy is giving is based on the assumption that u will have lots of money in india...and remember tha struggle everyone faces in india is same....ppl are working in Bangalore and parents pass away in northern villages.....

[@usharagunath23448]

This is a lovely video. Thank you sir for summarizing points so well. I am 26 years old female. going back to India for good after masters in US and 2 years of working in US. Loneliness is too hard here in US😭. My dad was not happy with my decision but i feel over time he would be okay with me being in India. Thankfully my mom supports me.

[@hemantaim]

Yes.... Only you can understand how it is like living there..... Make him understand when you come back

[@usharagunath23448]

@@hemantaim Yes sir I have found a job there and I am leaving soon. I sent my parents this video. My dad has slowly started to understand. I am very excited to be back. I know ill have my people with me no matter what. If nothing I am sure of this fact that I am not built for American way of life

[@charuuppal7043]

Its not just loneliness, but actually that in the long term, there is no accumulation of deep relationships, except if you are married....in India you can have a functional relationship with people on so many different levels. If you write then keep a journal and document your experiences. Best wishes

[@rudhisundar]

Good Decision!

[@venkateshdevale5506]

Hi, were you able to repay your education loan, if taken any?

[@AnujSharma-gu3is]

Quality of life in India is rubbish, it's all about showing off your house car clothes yet the roads, streets sewage infra is pathetic. Low quality air, water, construction, labor (plumber carpenter). People who can't drive, they don't follow rules, they are ready to fight. Security to self and family, cleanliness, traffic, no open spaces, parks, it's chaos and people everywhere.......too many people, so much noise, commotion. Im headed back soon this country still has another 5-10 years to get to International standards....if it ever does. :( Overall it's a people problem especially in NCR, I would consider Goa or some other 2nd level city that's quieter and has considerate people and communities

[@nomadicag5599]

Nice video 😊 I have seen life on both sides of it .. working in India and then moving abroad in late 20. Again in 10 years of so felt home sick and returned India to try it out again. Honestly in india we are more close to food, movies, language, cricket and politics. Feeling of belonging is real, Making new friends is easy but Meeting with old friends is on luck ( if you are in same town or not etc). Meeting with parents was possible once or twice a year but somehow living in India gave a feeling as if we are nearby. Biggest problem was cooperate culture and unnecessary politics at workplace. It gave me immense stress and couldn’t survive. So I choose to leave again but keeping my connection ON with my friends ❤. I like to travel and live a peaceful life without unrealistic ambitions.

[@rajeevprasad1449]

hello uncle, all these issues happen in India also. people do not live in their villages, they move out to various metro and life is s.h.i.t n Indian metros. in India ppl leave their relatives and friends and family also. ONLY thing is: you see ppl around you: who look like you, talk lke you and think like you. therefore it gets hidden. but still, in the end. people are equally detached in India.

[@rajeevprasad1449]

@@Theactualstoic not a single person wants to live in his "village". everybody wants to go to "Metro". Plus law-and-order in India is worst. nobody can be trusted.

[@cjk9988]

Not really true ...just having people who think like you and talk like you itself is a big thing....so moving to metros you will still be able to make new connections whereas in countries like america life is fast paced and its difficult to maintain relationships even between the parent and child...people here are more detached and very individualistic ...

[@mswr3351]

But at least in India we can frequently visit our family.. and be there when our parents need us

[@rajeevprasad1449]

@@mswr3351 true, travel time matters.

[@kavyak9700]

​@@rajeevprasad1449 not just travel time. But air ticket cost, and also, is some issues with weather or something u can't travel immediately.. there are so many who regret could nt see their parents one last time before their deaths. But yeah just dont retreat anything for whatever decisions you took cos these kind of scenarios could happen here as well. We simply blame our selves

[@lonewolfe2502]

I think parent should be any child's responsibility and priority. Especially when they go in their 60s. I can't imagine my parents living on their own when they're getting old. Success and money are okay but inner peace is everything. That comes when you take right decision at right stages of your life. & Taking decision of Living with your parents at that particular age when they're getting old will definitely bring you inner peace. I mean not if you have $hitty and annoying parents though. 😁

[@thisarchanabahuguna]

True. And children are also important. US culture is not so good for kids. Indian values are far superior.

[@jpande1]

Very well summarized. Great post! You forgot to include recessions every 5-7 years, lay-offs and age related professional discrimination etc. in the last stage, that plays a big role. You may not also have saved enough to survive in US for another 20 years. You need millions for retirement whereas your dollars will stretch longer in India. You can’t leave US as you want to be around to help them and unless you have connection s in India, you can’t go back as you are now a misfit in your own native country.

[@hemantaim]

It's never too late sir....

[@hassankhan]

BEAUTIFUL Point ... And irony is that I'm from Pakistan 💚🇵🇰 but settled in USA 🇺🇸 ... But I can understand your pain point 💯 May Allah guide us to do this timely migration at the correct moment .... I've made my Google ID so many years ago ... Journey "Inwards" .... Thinking that I'll be going back to Pakistan one day ... Let's see if it'll happen or not 🙏💕

[@aena5995]

Age related ? Do they accept ppl over 25 ?

[@SayHelloDude]

Age related ? You are clearly thinking about india. Open discrimination.... and gender related....haha

[@Amit-qr4nf]

Us doesn't have age related discrimination, but india does

[@hassankhan]

The Most IMPORTANT point is that the kids will stop speaking URDU and HINDI .... So , not only we've got ourselves confused, but now our kids are like Coconut 🥥 (brown i.e. desi, from their outside looks, but white mentality from inside).

[@dontTalkBullshit]

But we don't need to speak urdu rather urdu is not even a language coz it is written in Arabic script and its structure of speaking is completely copied from Hindi and all of its words are from arabic, Persia,or hindi. Pakistani treat urdu as a language because you guys have identity crisis but we don't have coz we very well know who we are for us there is no language that is known as urdu only hindi exists.

[@NoorAhmed-Indian]

@@dontTalkBullshit go and read History, Urdu basic originate from Indian

[@hassankhan]

@@dontTalkBullshit Don't worry , NRI Indian kids aren't speaking, reading or writing Hindi either ... So the problem is similar.

[@dontTalkBullshit]

@@hassankhan USA is not India that they will teach hindi in their schools NRI have to establish their own schools to teach hindi if they want.

[@hassankhan]

@@dontTalkBullshit Its not just about reading/writing ... My major concern is that the kids aren't even "SPEAKING" the language doesn't matter how much parents or grandparents are spending time and efforts on them ... This is very alarming because discontinuation of the language is the 1st step ... then the cultural values disappears in 2nd step .... dress and clothing and modesty goes away in 3rd step ... and the religion goes away in the 4th step ....

[@LifeJoyAdventureVlogs]

Bhai duniya selfish ho Chuki hai. Most Relationships are superficial. Your understanding of the situation is good. Apna comfort or money is more important nowadays. I’m in UK over 30 years and I have seen it all. Even in India relationships are not same 🙏🏽

[@mswr3351]

We are still enjoying with frnds and family and relatives.. may be ur case is different... we need to put efforts to maintain relationships❤

[@LifeJoyAdventureVlogs]

Good for you. I wrote what I have seen.🙏🏽

[@hemantaim]

Agree with your thought process

[@aayushtiwari3272]

aapne india nhi dekha sir…relationships are still better in india

[@harshithr7047]

These things are relative not absolute

[@Pradeep_Punia]

My father says these golden words..never forget your roots.. go explore the world ... but maintain the connection .. otherwise life is halffull

[@hemantaim]

True

[@JP-np8mm]

Very well said and you bring out the key points. I have been living in the US for 28 years and about to enter the 4th phase. And I do not feel any regret about my decisions. Reflecting back on my life, based on what you said, a few points you said are very very true. 1. Keep your connection to your family/roots. We visit India at least every 2 years, with kids, now early 20s 2. Always, people first, then money, then things. So be ready to take up sacrifice. 3. Make deeper connections to the native (US) community, thru the means you have. For me, it was thru the local church. Beyond the initial facade, most ppl are good ppl like us. 4. Accept the fact, one will not get everything in life. If I had stayed back, I would have gotten other experiences, some good and some not so. 5. Enjoy each day, from morning to evening. Do not be too harsh on yourself. It is ok to be kind to one self ! Casually happened to watch this video and the other comments :)

[@Mrhiteshsharma]

Don't think people in India are happier or will be better off.

[@train_xc]

I agree

[@shilpawankhede8581]

Thanks for your comment here...

[@nishantchhabra]

True. The only thing that scares me in U.S. is health insurance, especially in old age, not even Guns for that matter. The health network mafia has literally monopolized the Healthcare system here and they don't even spare American citizens in this.

[@prashantb8281]

Very nice gist JP

[@rahulsnairs6]

Thanks for sharing your valuable insights about NRI.it’s been 4 years in canada,going through the worse time in my life.feeling depressed,missing relatives..working 9 to 5 eating most of my valuable waking hours.felt like living a scripted life without any sort of purpose

[@hemantaim]

Watch my all videos and you will get all your answers and clarity

[@truthalonetriumphs6572]

Boss, only you can create purpose whether it's Canada or India. For many people, they have to work to pay for roti, kapda, makaan, bijlee, pani, Internet. Most people will not have extra energy after that. Even if you return to India, this will mostly be the same. That's why people in India want to come to Canada and vice versa.

[@Samirshah774]

Same here

[@niranjanic8367]

same feeling here rahul :(

[@kakjhal]

When you are in Rome, live like Romans :) That's the only advise I have. Make new friends in your new country, socialize with local people, travel around, be part of the local community - until then you may be physically living in Canada but mentally you are still in India. Living such a dual life can take a toll and no wonder you feel depressed. I know some people - the only yearly travel they do is a trip back to India - if someone feels so attached to the home country, they always have option to move back, please don't consume yourself & your happiness in living a dual life

[@sangeetamallik6095]

We have been living in Mexico from last 10 years . Good things - climate, ppl (warm, accepting , helpful), learning different language, medical facilities. Drawback- language barrier ( for adults) , food ( esp. for vegetarians) , Indian community ( concentrated only in the capital, in the where we live there are hardly any Indians means no Indian restaurant, no Indian grocery mart etc). My son 2.5 when we moved here, though there were no Indians here still he grew very well here , local lots of friends, playing in each other house n all but as now he’s approaching teens he has been withdrawing, faced bullying, feels odd - culture, food , broken families. Too much comfort, lack of competition, distractions,lack of social boundaries are some other drawbacks too. So, last year made decision to shift back to India, relocating this summer ✌🏼🤞.

[@sangeetamallik6095]

But depression , loneliness is a real thing, it creeps in , irrespective of weather , friendships with local community. In foreign along with earning money , making and maintaining friendships becomes a task along with your relationships in India.

[@hemantaim]

Goodluck

[@inyourface123]

@@sangeetamallik6095 are you Bengali? Assuming from surname. Anyway, Mexico itself is not a developed country, not sure what made you decide to stay there for 10 years. Had it been USA or UK, I would have understood.

[@sangeetamallik6095]

@@inyourface123 we are Haryanvi. I don’t know how to answer your curiosity. Mexico is not like what is shown in movies. It’s a mix of Spain n India I feel. We planned to stay here till 2017 , but life hardly goes as we plan. Other than language and food , we didn’t face any major problems. Though I have option to relocate in Michigan ( my husband company has a plant there ) but I chose India, my kids have their whole life to move to any part of the world if they want to but I want rest of my life in India. We don’t want to be the emotional n mental burden for them. Ppl come to Mexico to move to US or Canada. But come here for vacation, medical treatment and to enjoy hospitality.

[@sangeetamallik6095]

@@inyourface123 we were in our late 20’s when we came here , very well settled and independent in Pune. My husband had an appetite to grow, explore and learn . I hope I answered your question. 🤗 And we have option to move to UK and Canada too. But life is finite. Home sweet Home 🇮🇳.

[@rishikhanna5272]

Brother if you leave country then you have to make adjustments in life , you have to leave comfort zone . Life is good everywhere in world & you can’t get everything in world . Be optimistic 👍🏽

[@praveenkumar-yo1xg]

This is pure answer

[@bittun1607]

When someone go out of the country one should set some strict timeline and goals as when to come back. People keep shifting their timeline. First they wana travel then they wana save some money then want PR then they want citizenship. In this process sab kuchh chhut jata hai. The peer pressure and ego and pride attached to living aborad is high too. Thanks for making this video i feel i am stuck in this dielema too.

[@PratyushMishra99]

Thanks you for making this video. Its like getting a mentor. thank you

[@sumit6190p]

Personally I think your comments are applicable for North America but may not be held true if you move within Asia for ex countries like Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia, HK etc.. reason being the proximity with India, affordable flight tickets.

[@livelikeamonk3161]

63 mein Social security shuru hota hai. If a person is not able to save enough for his retirement till 60 in US then it’s better to return India. Retirement age is 60 even in India. Close to 3 Lakh Rs comes just from social security. And your investment and savings.

[@LifeofRishabh]

Interesting to hear about your experience. I would say a person should always understand the inside/out before moving abroad. Some will love it and some might hate it!

[@MyTechniqueWorks]

Bhaiyya, India is best to live in if you have plenty of paisa. But if not then America is good.

[@venv8964]

Having gone thru 3 phases of life in US, returned to India. One thing that is missed while living abroad is adhyatmic Bhavanas which help you grounded in life. I had to do catching up for the years lost abroad.

[@bvssrsguntur6338]

Interesting..."adhyatmic Bhavanas ' So you are more adhyatmic abroad than in India?

[@scrollblau2262]

If you are gonna respond. Please start by explaining the meaning you intended with that phrase.

[@wheathusk2499]

@@bvssrsguntur6338 poor reading and comprehension. He said the exact opposite

[@samyakhp4353]

​​@@scrollblau2262 In India people are spiritual (if you attend satsangs, temples, iskcon, are interact with people in general you'll see a massive difference)

[@scrollblau2262]

@@samyakhp4353 I have witnessed these with Christian communities in US; they offer similar spiritual fulfillment. But, for non-Christians, the opportunities to indulge is significantly lower. And in general, Indians living abroad usually celebrate the festivals out of longingness of our cultures, but have reduced considerably the regular daily/weekly spiritual poojas & excursions.

[@rohitsharma1285]

Life is tough

[@arunvelayudhan7105]

Lot of respect to you Hemant. Very honest converstion straight from heart!

[@hemantaim]

Thanks Arun

[@Drummerboy619]

Sabse badi chul Maa baap ko hi hoti hai. Bachhe chahe kaise bhi jhelkar karein. Apni life ke saare toxins hamari life mein charter hain. Jhand yaha life bahar aake.

[@sumithhh9379]

I absolutely disagree with you. I am living in India in a metro city. I see many people don't visit their parents for many years. Also my native is also in a small town. Whenever I go, I see a social cutoff. People are busy in their own including teenagers and kids. Some people are happy being isolated and some are happy with socializing. It is a very personal thing and cannot be generalized.

[@rahulchandra2164]

I am anti social so I like social cut off life . If you have friendly/socializing behaviour you don't have this problem. It's All about yourself. don't blame other.. Meting people is like investing in stocks for your retirement fund. More you connect more happy you will be in your life & in your old age. Remember at old age (acc. to me it's after55yr) we all became like a child & we need someone.

[@arvindchahal7009]

Suffering is everwhere....india or foreign land....you can be happy or sad at both places. All depends upon your way of life amd your situation amd mental state. I lived in australia for five years and i felt that life is good but worklife is very hard and good jobs are not available to indians. Other than that life was pretty comfortable there

[@0roady2]

Girl point of view: my situation is even worse , my husband don’t want to go back India bcouz his parents and few of his relatives stay here in the country we stay . But my parents are alone in India with zero help , but this fellow doesn’t want to go back or even never discuss about how to deal with my parents situation, I am feeling I ll go to depression or deep guilt later

[@parshuramshakti2934]

Go back, dont waste valuable time.

[@parshuramshakti2934]

Money is not everything, go for ypur parents less time left for old people

[@karnakarna4490]

Indian social system binds wife to her husband’s decision. So you need to stay there with your kids . However you can help your parents by moving them to an old age homes in India and pay for such facilities which are very reasonable. Even few old age homes provides for bed ridden parents with proper medical assistance. You sure can insist with your husband he should pay for all such expenditure . If he refuses , divorce him , take your share of his property and maintenance expenses and come back to India to your parents . Be tough and strong and take a fair decision in life without hesitation.,

[@krishnavenikapu9389]

I live in UK at present.. my kids are 6 year and 3 year now .. my husband wants to stay here for 5 more years... My worry is only reg kids ? Will they adjust in schools ? Leave about studies.. but they can't talk local language ( telugu for us ) .. even if I speak in telugu with them , they are replying in english.... Can someone reply ? If come across similar situation plz .. when return to India ,, at the age of 11 years (elder kid) they will be able to adjust know ?

[@hemantaim]

I would suggest to stay only 3 more years for smooth transition.....however if 5 years then make sure you bring some local language syllabus books from india for respective grade and teach at home.....i already made Video on this

[@krishnavenikapu9389]

@@hemantaim Thank you... Will try to do this ...

[@jayloving2005]

The reason is simply, parents are so become english and speaking English at home....

[@dharmikrakshak8340]

Be honest CALL IT IER ( Indian economic refugee) NOT NRI

[@sshikha26]

I am a researcher (PhD). Many people in my profession comes to USA. Believe me researchers are very cutoff to the society and we are not here coz we want to follow crowd or we want success for our kids or anything. Maximum of us wants to be back but truth is there is NO OPPORTUNITIES for us in India. Not less, as in NO OPPORTUNITIES at all. There are no R and D for Pharma in India, not even minimum packages, ofcourse no govt. Jobs. As a researcher we are paid way less and the journey is direction less. Other issues I highly feel about India: 1. High pollution 2. No quality of life, even if u r rich. 3. Education opportunities 4. Job opportunities 5. Peace of mind. I highly feel about the last one. High competition, communalism and other factors used to effect me a lot. Now USA has their own political issues but I am not bothered by it. At the end, i am someone who never ever wanted to go out. Sometimes, it's the need. Most importantly, my family is with me in this. They travel here all the time. We talk regularly. I try to plan all major events altogether once a year, when i go there for 1 month.

[@bkpatelpatel3358]

Totally agree with you

[@sumit6b]

Never have regrets. It's your life do what you feel is best for you. Here Hemant Ji is trying to tell every one what all situations one may face being in abroad for a broader lifespan. As far as the the points which you have mentioned about India is only applicable to some or other part of the country. For example, none of the points which you have mentioned is applicable to a software developer staying in Bangalore.

[@sanskruti8556]

I m also that 5%in2024 sir thank you sir for video

[@phunsukh_wangdoo]

U kept mentioning parents in all the phases....but forgot to mention the main reason why parents ate invited by the children...It's basically to save money for baby sitter...Both set of parents comes precisely for 175 to 179 days...one after the other...that takes care for the whole year...BTW, embassy folks are well aware of this arrangement...Also, I've seen parents taking care of other children for some extra cash....All in liquid cash...The licensed rate is 8 tp 14$ an hour...The parents do it for 5$ for other Indoan or Pakistani kids ...whose grandparents couldn't come ....There are many more such stories...where Indians live there not to enjoy life...not even bothering to learn culture...but to Save money....

[@usharagunath23448]

You brought up a great point sir. This is heartbreaking...parents already take pains to raise us in India and then getting used by children in old age also

[@desiguy995]

I have lost all links to india though no regrets as i am not social. Work life was bad in india so i moved out. There were low pay, long working hours,terrible traffic and horrible bosses. Maybe will go back to india for retirement.

[@maroonenterprise677]

I have been living in USA for many years n trust me friends that's true Sanskrit slogan motherland is better than heaven. India is best place to live. I guide to all Hindus Sikhs especially never to leave India. Here money is on an average higher but expenses are higher too. You will miss ur family and after coming here there is no U turn you can't go back. India is great place for earning money even and best Saving you can have.

[@hemantaim]

There is always a way back to home if you are clear about your choices...it's never too late to come back

[@ArchnaKapur]

That means you don’t want to.. There is always a way

[@roopapatil2163]

@@ArchnaKapur of course there is always a way to come back. But the kids get affected after sudden change of place and people. It affects the whole family.

[@maroonenterprise677]

@@roopapatil2163 believe me I was extremely social guy in India every week friends get togather every day some cousins relative use to visit. N here no one. Even I m feeling now contact has been decreasing with my friends family relatives. Even kids who were born after I had moved to USA don't know about my existence.

[@hemantaim]

Yes because people start getting adjusted without you and slowly you loose your existence......out of sight out of mind

[@krishnamurthy7044]

I am one of the five per cent never regretted that was 50 years ago now I am 77

[@dineshbisht4140]

wise words , i am in sweden from past one month and i have realized that i might not stay for long and will move back soon

[@rohitsharma1285]

35 tak kamao Phir wapas aajao

[@jess-qe5ed]

I would say where you live in US also matters. If you live in major cities where there is Indian population, you can make good friends and enjoy life as you live in India.

[@christianoronaldo2189]

But white peoples always think Indian Americans are second class and force them to become anti India

[@jess-qe5ed]

@@christianoronaldo2189 never had such experience

[@dokagurung2414]

Friends and Family are 2 different things. It changes, families are forever. :)

[@nainitalism]

Assimilation is a better choice. 40 plus years overseas

[@jess-qe5ed]

@doka gurung once one person from a family migrates, it opens up path for other relatives too.

[@prakashambastha7530]

koi India ke friends kaam nahi aate...sab apne life mai busy hain..it all depends on priorities in life..parents ka caring is most concerning especially when someone doesnt have any siblings or anyone to take care of them...baki sab koi issue nahi

[@leopold17780]

Like stocks, one should have exit strategy when you go to abroad. 10 years tax less saving invested in stocks/MF is enough for better retirement. Come back and again start fresh in India. Keep visiting your city, relatives, friends once in a year is must !

[@hemantaim]

Agree

[@dsinghr]

Salaries in India are pretty good these days. It’s not same as how it was 10 years back. I think the main reason people live outside is good infrastructure and clean air

[@Uneducatedopinion57]

Salaries might be high but work life balance is shit Plus work environment is also horrible

[@naveenjoshi4030]

Very well explained. I think there are different types of personalities, some people are just happy to be abroad. They think everything in India is worse, for them emotional connection to their family is a waste of time. For such people it is better for them to stay abroad. Some value family and friends back home but get tied by family responsibilities. Also, it is difficult to switch jobs especially in a different country when they are somewhat mid career. So they hope to return one day but that day never comes. Finally, there are people who know what that want and act accordingly, be it staying abroad or returning back home. Those people will have sort of inner peace and happiness. While returning is a big decision, family support back can be very helpful.

[@hemantaim]

Agree

[@crazyforger]

Over generalizing comment. What if the family back home is toxic? What if siblings and all their cousins are in USA?

[@naveenjoshi4030]

@@crazyforger You need to find your and only your/family reasons to return. Life is not perfect anywhere. If a person is happy abroad and has all he or she wants then there’s no reason to return. On this no one can help you but only your thoughts and will. Besides family there can be many other factors that needs to be considered. It’s just one factor in the decision making process in my view. Ultimately at any point in time, a person can only be at one place!

[@guptagoesgreek]

Did you spend more time in Sweden or US? Experiences in Europe are gonna be VERY different from NA.

[@hemantaim]

In US....

[@ramanpal81us]

So to the point. Fully agree as someone out of India from last 18 yrs and going through this dilemma everyday.

[@prashantb8281]

Tu kaha hai Ramanpal.

[@samyakhp4353]

You have to accept it or change it, sooner better than later

[@KINGMJ1990]

But their kids are Foreign Citizens in Canada. They have left the shit hole country called India jahape hamesha corruption, dhool mitti and pollution. Quality of life bhi yaha ekdum kharab hai. School ki fees 2 lakh per year.... Parents ko chhodkar koi bhi reason nahi hai. Ek generation ko qurbani dena hi padta hai for changing your life. Hum sale jo yaha ruk gaya humein kya milta hai....kuch nahi.....Aur jo Canada PR Leke gaye vo log ka sahi nikla hai zindagi

[@rajgogoi2178]

Some true words spoken here. I had opportunity to stay in the states twice in last 12 years. But every time came back as I was always homesick. True money wise Western countries are always lucrative. But none can Match the moment with loved ones specially parents. Even in India people are moving back to their native places or Planning to. I also plan to spend my retirement in my native place. Working on that final phase hopefully will get it done.

[@bhatra10]

Some good points here but we are all different. My take/situation: 1) In UK for 20 years and I am 41. I made sure my parents visited me every year and stayed with us for few months(2-6). I still regret not being with extended family but I have some family in UK as well. 2) Distant family now disconnected. I find humans are all very selfish. 3) Because I came to UK I got to travel the world, stay in luxury hotels, great experiences. I also helped family and friends financially. 4) I come from small village in Punjab. If I stayed in India I would need to relocate to Delhi, Bangalore etc as I have no land. So couldn’t have stayed in my village. 5) I lost my Indian friends and cousins which I regret. 6) we can’t have everything in life no matter where we are.

[@pareshprajapati3282]

U r right for some extent,,Indians people whoever u meet whether they are your relatives, friends, they all are quite busy they don’t even have time to meet each other like before they used to.. they also want money as in india inflation is very high. Whoever is going back just think about that before u go..everyone don’t have same life.

[@Ankur71284]

You hit the nail . I’ve been living in USA for 22 years came here when my mom bring me here when I was 16 I finished 10th grade in India then came USA my life completely changed from a lot of friends to no friends different language atmosphere , culture i still tell My mom sometimes why did you bring me here . Feel stuck distance from friends, family, relatives most important missing the street food .. my daughter is born here she don’t like India whenever we go there now waiting for her to grow up so we can go that’s what my mom did she left USA 11 years ago soon as I was settled never came back ..

[@hemantaim]

Your mom identified the issue and now it's ur turn

[@alaypatel6050]

Thats sad.

[@thecerebrum.]

hi sir, this video is enlightening for someone planning their MS in USA. I am a single child of my parents and hence I have a dilemma of whether to do MS or MBA from India itself such so I'll be able to stay back to take care of them. But my parents are in the age group of 40-50 which I think is not too dependent age, nevertheless they say go pursue masters, but its just that I feel the dynamics will change once I leave. Moreover, given the uncertainty of H1B and F1 OPT of 3 years, I can make savings of only around 2 years, one in recovering the loan, the rest 2 in savings, coming approx to 40-50 lakhs INR given the fact you earn average pay in USA being 75K and getting inhand 65K, which is achievable even if you had stayed back and got the job of 12-15 LPA by doing an MBA from good B school. Now if the end point is coming back to India, and USA stay allowed in 2024 is only for 5 years(minus the 2 years of MS from it), then I think MS is no more a good option.

[@hemantaim]

I am glad I was helpful in any manner.......

[@moudgil21]

I myself know a few friends and family who have gone abroad and have detached themselves. Some stay aloof as they have built an ego. Last but not the least they undermine the country they were born in and build a colonial mentality, think people living in India are just snake charmers. You want to travel the world, you can always do that by working in India depending on the job you have. Anyways to each their own.

[@Priyankafoody]

I am frustrated in US, coming back to India soon next year.

[@hemantaim]

Welcome home

[@shubhakush2637]

Settled is very complicated word You should know every thing has some or other cost either financial physical emotional or social Once you taken decision for better standards of material life you should be able to go for global attitude too Migrating from one country to another is not a problem its about migration of entire thinking process If you are family oriented person you need to sacrifice for them and if your priorities differs then you need to sacrifice your family and friends You cannot have both things together Its entirely your decisions your accountability and your choice and all these things differ from person to person

[@hemantaim]

Agree

[@ufo2269]

This is life, not dillema

[@HousingMarketWatch]

Your video resonated with me from the start as I too have experienced a similar journey. I moved to Chandigarh from a small town in UP 12 years ago at the age of 24, feeling proud and excited about my new life. The first three years were wonderful, but after that, I began to feel disconnected from my roots. I encountered racism and a sense of being seen as "backward" by some people in Chandigarh and Punjab. While this may just be my personal experience, it has taken a toll on me. Now, at 36, I am moving back to Noida to be closer to my hometown and reconnect with my family and culture. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing me to relate.

[@rupeshmishra12]

If you don't have purpose if life then you will be unhappy and un fulfilled, despite where you are. It has nothing to do where you are. Migration has been back bone of human race development. Save and travel and explore, life long.

[@VK-no5kj]

researched analysis. In last phase is when children have grown/in university and dont listen to you, They arent fluent in our language and know little of our mythology. Wife wont want to look after you like Indian husbands typical expect. Feeling of given your best years and no one appreciates. Too old to 'enjoy' the pubs travel, sightseeing that we do in younger years. . Apart from IT no other professions pay well and all friends are only company colleagues mostly.

[@rajneetihindustanki]

sir i have canadian PR stayed there for 5 years but i feel i dont belong there need guidance how can i connect with you? i am 29 years old and very confused about my career.

[@hemantaim]

You can contact me on Instagram at hemantdubey79

[@hassankhan]

I'm an overseas Pakistani 🇵🇰💚, well settled in USA 🇺🇸 and I've been trying to make this journey back .... (Things are a bit challenging in Pakistan as well all know) ... But, I've just found your channel, and hopefully it'll motivate me further ... 🙏 Thanks for putting up this type of serious content !

[@trivedigunjan]

Pls follow your heart. If you do well in any area you will be fine. I am happy to talk if needed. Made the moves back to india twice. Once after MS and MBA and the at age 44. Now in india for 10 years. Also pursued new career and PhD.

[@hassankhan]

@@trivedigunjan Thanks for sharing your story and the kind offer. I'm in process of planning to move back , but it gets somewhat complicated if your parents and all your siblings and in-laws live with you in US/UK/Canada/Australia, and you still want to move back for the sake of the country! And just for the purpose of serving the country 🇵🇰💚

[@aena5995]

maybe for males

[@trivedigunjan]

@@hassankhan true. Only other question to preempt…will I regret after two decades ? So either remove that regret or act now. Both are fair options

[@jaspreetmodi]

sab dhakosla hai ... take this token bet for only INR 1000 - after 10 years, reply back to this thread whether you have returned to Pak leaving dual citizenship or any thread allowing to simply go back. If you have returned, i will give you the money and apologise otherwise you do the same.

[@amkhatri28]

Good thing about this video is that it initiates a thought process. And, this is applicable not just for people living in other countries but also to people living in different states away from their native. But, in the end it limits itself only certain aspects of life. People who continue to stay at their native also face certain challenges in different parts of their life. I think the important thing is that today our lifestyle has become more materialistic and unless we move behind that these issues will come no matter where we are.

[@hemantaim]

Yes we need to look back and simplify our lives which we complicated unknowingly due to career aspirations and other reasons....Also it's always good to live where your heart is

[@soumendash1619]

Thanks for sharing your insights. It's absolutely true 💯%. There are pros and cons. But leaving India comes at a big cost. I had to stay back in India even though I am a Canadian PR holder for my father's health as he got diagnosed with blood cancer. I am so much happy being in India. I accompany my father for all the chemo sessions. Our parents compromised on a lot of things for us. Least they deseve is moral support and help during old age. No point of earning money and going to temples for puja, if you can't take care of living god's (parents) who are reason for our existence. I would never permanently move now to Canada but can plan 1-2 weeks of travel to explore Canada.

[@hemantaim]

Goodluck for your parents health...

[@HemantKumar-ly5iw]

tumara gaya to mera bhi gya......kam se 😄

[@mrnobodyspeaks4u]

Thanks a lot Hemant bhai, very well explained! The vacuum that comes when you don't have anyone around to talk with you and share things is really bad. Life is not just earning money and enjoying what money gives you. Real life is staying and sharing happiness & sorrow with your family and friends. Never forget the place where you belong. If staying abroad is such a good thing then why are the Super Rich and Celebrities not settling there, why are they prefer to stay in their Home Country??

[@hemantaim]

Exactly that what the point is.....even ultra rich people live here(except few exceptions) and enjoy the diversity of their mother land.....

[@sitevgk]

If staying abroad is such a good thing then why are the Super Rich and Celebrities not settling there, why are they prefer to stay in their Home Country?? Great insight

[@livinghope1561]

@@sitevgk because they have their own properties here and they're Indian citizen... Indian passport is weak. They have security guards and they can hire servants as low cost which is not possible in other countries where you have to spend billions on that. They are celebrities so there passport ranking doesn't matter. If they start living abroad half of their income will be vanished from them.

[@Komal_US]

Because they are super rich. They dont need to look for jobs abroad or come for higher studies

[@muhammadzeb7189]

@@livinghope1561 It is not at all true that rich people do not want to live in US/Europe just because of the cost issue. In fact, it is the feeling/sense of belonging that attracts a person towards his country. It is the social circle that matters. People prefer to live in a country/society where they can understand the culture and where they have close friends with whom they can share their feelings. A person would prefer to live in a country where other living around him share the same identity, culture, jokes and language. Living outside a homeland is mostly driven by the thirst for money. And as long as rich people can make money, they would prefer living in their home country. They would start living outside their home country if they are earning less and not vice versa as you claimed.

[@SN-yq7qm]

I heard all your points and I disagree most of your points.Everything has its own advantages and disadvantages , its totally depoend s on your prorities and I see many indians going to india once every year to visit their family and friends.I saw lots of our friends went to india and now regreating. We have problems here too and there too.First need of everyone to move abroad is money once it is fulfil its totally your decision to move back or to stay.Its a human tendency to hold you back because of FOMO.

[@saurabh1981]

Bhai life ka circle chalta rehta hai. Agar india chale jaate hai 3 stage mein - Phir bacchon ko lagega ki US aana hai… uski tayari/expenses dena padega. Better approach hai ki parents ko life ke 2nd/3rd stage mein US bula lo and then build a life here, because then kids will have to go through the same stages (especially given the exposure to US that you already have given them). In the end, it all depends on you. If you find purpose in life, you can devote to that in a much better manner in the US than in India, I think.

[@anupriyagoswami5083]

Bhai aap apne bachchon ki soch rahe ho....lekin parents ka nahi.Parents jinhone poori life apne banaaye aur basaaye ghar mein bitaai apne khoon paseene aur sapno se....woh sab kuchh chhod k aapke ghar mein kyun jaayenge....3rd citizen banane

[@sam2303]

jyada paise aa gaye hai bhai.😅😅😅😅..give donations , all will be ok. Also 4.5 Million indian in USA, I don't think there should be a community issue. :(

[@pynxt]

This the classic trap for anyone, it doesn't have to be that the person has to be abroad, my family lived in a different part of india compared to my grandparents family, and my dad was delayed to reach once my grand father had passed away. As I said,It could happen to anyone, anywhere. If we can spend our life in steadying our mind, using meditative practices being anywhere in the world , you won't unnecessarily burden yourself with unnecessary thoughts such as these. My mother has declined to ever come to the US, eventhough I had 2 kids born here. Does it affect me? Not in the least. I cannot force anyones personal wishes and at the same time, I can only try to be helpful and try my best when anyone is in need especially my loved ones.

[@doncorleone3901]

As they say in the US, smart alec...

[@pynxt]

@@doncorleone3901 you got me, dumb Aleck!

[@DeepakMishra-uu2mb]

I am in Berlin! I want to go back to Gorakhpur not even Delhi! I miss India, I am nothing here despite having every other thing

[@parveengupta]

Very well explained. I am in 3rd phase. Lost dad recently. He always asked when are we coming back!!!

[@rayray9996]

Very emotion raising comment. Reminded of song from DDLJ.

[@jayloving2005]

​@@rayray9996 sad same happened with me

[@liblib1815]

In my case my dad doesn’t want us to come back and because of him, I try to stay here. He always says India is a corrupt country and I shouldn’t step backwards in life.

[@harshjoshi957]

Cause of most misery here are expectations. Humble request to new or would be parents to put a stop to this cycle of unreasonable expectations from kids. You had kids because you wanted to feel the joy of parenthood or were forced by your parents to give them grandchildren, you had a choice. Now if you had kids, its your duty to provide for and educate your child. They don't owe you anything, you did not do them a favour. If they do it it should come out of love, not compulsion.

[@maqdiesel]

I'm in 2nd phase of my life and I can tell you, he is absolutely correct. Man!!!

[@vrindarao16]

I watched your video and found that you have correctly discribed the plight of those who move abroad early in their careers. Our children moved to the US in late nineties and then they helped two of us, both parents also to migrate here, taking all responsibility including separate accomodation. We being free and retired visit India every year and are maintaining our home in India. That way they are also connected to India through us. They don't miss India since we are also here. Most important is having your family physically with you. Then there is no regret later. One should try to be happy anywhere no matter where they are. For that some spiritual interest is required. Then life becomes not only easy but also very enjoyable.

[@yashgandhi4163]

Well said.

[@andypatel1857]

You are 100% true. I am living outside india for 17 years and now I regret it every single day. I miss india so... much.

[@newsflash4382]

Same here bro.....

[@inshort5341]

Can't say it enuf

[@prashantb8281]

Aaja bhai

[@YogeshSharma-dq7bp]

I have seen almost 90% people who moved back were unhappy and returned back to USA - life in India is good but not that great as described

[@anilkkumar54]

Very well explained. All have to decide. After one generation, there will not be any contact with family in India. Are we ready for this.

[@kalpanagupta6166]

But same things can happen in India too. Now a days, people in metropolitan cities are totally disconnected. Who wants to live with parents? If yes, which parents? Girl’s or boy’s? Most important thing, wife suffers the most because of strong patriarchy.

[@jayloving2005]

After marriage for girl only boys parents if gals can't live with boys parents then get fuck off from boys life and get divorced... Always parents first for boys.

[@NishadBrahmbhatt]

you are right. you should arrange these lectures in colleges for awareness. bich ka rasta yahi hona chahiye business or work foreign me or ghar India me

[@hemantaim]

Thanks Nishad....Good idea....I will think about it

[@kapilgulati]

Moral of the Story : Don't Marry

[@Chhoti_Patelan]

All my friends are settled in abroad..they look happy…I like all their photos….Somewhere in my heart I had this thing ki kash Mai bhi Unki tarah wha rehti..but now I have no regrets..I m happy where I am in my own country

[@hemantaim]

Photos are not true pictures as it's just a moment in a day....Also posting photos has reasons....

[@rohans7194]

Photos on social media never show the reality. People look happy but actually they aren’t.

[@rishikhanna5272]

All countries are good , depending where you are happy & where you feel satisfied.

[@dhb702]

NRI don't get job in India after some years of working in foreign countries. Or after 35-40 age. Also he is not used to different work conditions/ culture in India. So though having desire he continues living in foreign countries.

[@hassankhan]

Oh My God 😱 Your analysis is 💯 true for Age Bracket 40 - 50 ..... It's unbelievable. I'm going through EXACT same phase !!!

[@hemantaim]

Thanks buddy