Humans Are How Old? | HFY | SciFi Short Stories

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Күн бұрын

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@xenosmoke8915 10 ай бұрын

“Let’s hope they’re not from Warhammer” The data-slate pinged one final time. Glimpo wet himself in front of the delegation and blacked out.

@boakley8147 10 ай бұрын

Ah yes a full back ground of warhammer has been uploaded to their data banks. A universe where war and suffering is the norm

@yrenekurtz5268 10 ай бұрын

"What is this Warhammer you speak of, human?" *grabs a chair* "well, it all started sixty five million years ago with this alien civilization called the Necrontyr..."

@MarkoDash 10 ай бұрын

well to be fair, humanity had fairly good relations with the Alderi during the golden age.

@yrenekurtz5268 10 ай бұрын

@@MarkoDash The old Eldar empire basically ignored the DAoT humans... which honestly by 40K standards IS "good relations"

@jammything3573 10 ай бұрын

That really made me laugh.

@TheSolidSnakeOil 10 ай бұрын

"Just hope they aren't the Warhammer kind." And there it is. I did not have to wait long for that payoff.

@Desvelar 9 ай бұрын

it needed ", that are dark"

@I31R0 7 ай бұрын

@@Desvelarnah normal eldar Are plenty fuckedup. Dark ones would be the icing on the cake of bad luck.

@MarshalLtd 10 ай бұрын

Guy is just dropping mind shattering bombs on them. "I'm 30." "Grandma is 90." "Elves live up to few thousand years old." "Warhammer40k has humans that are 10s of thousands of years old." Guy comes back to his boss for debriefing Guy: "And then they just started hanging themselves. I don't know why. I didn't even mention daemonculaba or making servitors or tyranids."

@grey11aldering 10 ай бұрын

That's a nat20 on vicious mockery. 😂

@aoki6332 8 ай бұрын

To be Honest In Warhammer the only human living thousand of year are space marine or Mechanicus and in all aspect they aint human anymore, the average life span in the Imperium is around 50 since genetic modification is expensive so mostly only middle class and upward can afford it, after 500 years the human body cannot take on anymore regeneration and it become almost impossible whiteout the need to become more machine than men.

@Sanguinarius9999 8 ай бұрын

@aoki6332 high lords and inquisitors lifespans ?

@aoki6332 8 ай бұрын

@@Sanguinarius9999 around 200 to 400 years if im not wrong and with the space marine another fact his even though they are immortal a chapter endup being fully reformed after 500 years due to attrition in combat, even the fabricator of Mars is only around à thousand years old and he need a body bigger than a building for life support

@leflamewolf 10 ай бұрын

Fun fact: Humans are quite long lived, mammals close to the size of humans have a life expectancy of around 30 on the high end, we‘re much closer to larger mammals like elephants and whales when it comes to life expectancy. Yeah our life expectancy is high compared to humans from across all of history, but 80 was very possible throughout all of history. Bonus fun fact: Most life expectancies for ancient humans are skewed by children and babies, who tended to die a lot before recently, anyone who was able to make it to their teens and didn’t live in a particularly violent environment would likely live a minimum of half a century.

@cecilrhodes2153 9 ай бұрын

Earthling lifespan tends to be based on heartbeats, with almost all species getting 1 billion heartbeats. Humans are the exception to this, instead getting around 2.5-3 billion.

@Saiko1952 9 ай бұрын

Dante Ahligeri lived to be 97 years old dying in 1321 iirc. And for those who do not know, he is the author of Dante’s inferno.

@whyjnot420 9 ай бұрын

Yeah, people tend to either not know or forget that "life expectancy" is actually "life expectancy at ____ years old". With the standard "life expectancy" actually being "life expectancy at birth". So when you say, look at those same stats that give the 30something estimate for medieval times and only use people 20 years old or older , they will show that there is a life expectancy somewhere in the 50s or 60s. (life expectancy at 20) addendum: My paternal grandmother turned 103 earlier this month.

@darius9329 9 ай бұрын

Im sick of hearing this. Everyone has heard this fun fact already dozens of times. I see it once every two weeks. This has got to end, get new trivia already.

@leflamewolf 9 ай бұрын

@@darius9329 I have plenty of trivia, I just choose to talk about trivia that is relevant to the video, in this case the life expectancy of humans is relevant to the video, thus I talk about that. If this was a video on something like the decolonization of Africa I might talk about Botswana and how while surrounded by failed states and dictatorships it managed to become a peaceful and stable democracy.

@NegaZxyz 10 ай бұрын

So we finally did it. We finally made contact with the space dogs.

@marcobering3945 10 ай бұрын

Space rats, tbh, given their delegates aged out repeatedly over a span of less than three years.

@Jacky-zt5ch 10 ай бұрын

7 years is not old by dog years, more like space rabbit or something

@MagicE13 10 ай бұрын

Makes sense why they don't 'knock' anymore.

@elijahaitaok8624 9 ай бұрын

@@Jacky-zt5chthese days we have dogs that are capable of living to 20 years old

@Jedidiah_Martin_2 9 ай бұрын

I envisioned them as space _prairie_ dogs....

@KroMagnum4 10 ай бұрын

The Warhammer kind - good one!

@coolet9132 10 ай бұрын

It was a nod to 40k and the Eldar. You probably know this already but, the Eldar was incompetent that fell down the rabbit hole of pleasure which ended up creating a evil pleasure God because they didn't maintain their empire which also changed a lot of the Eldar into a group hunting other beings and for example making them into living furniture that lives forever and feel time being slowed down for them for maximum torture which is some kind of fuel source for them to keep the evil pleasure God at bay.

@KroMagnum4 10 ай бұрын

@@coolet9132 Yeah.

@wakcedout 10 ай бұрын

Yesss and hopefully not eldar or worse, dark eldar.

@KaasSchaaf666 10 ай бұрын

Hahaha, Warhammer 40. 000 👍🏻😊

@Trancescient 10 ай бұрын

He was probably thinking of the Drukhari (dark eldar) and not the regular Aeldari.

@TakCWAL 10 ай бұрын

Hah! The moment 'Space Elves' was mentioned, I knew they were going to stick W40K somewhere.

@ZubZAQ 10 ай бұрын

Man i love the Warhammer space elves reference i laughed so hard🤣🤣

@TheNightWatcher1385 10 ай бұрын

It’s interesting how time can be so relative. We don’t consider our lives to be very long but to other races they could be unfathomly long or even shorter than we think.

@CadanL 9 ай бұрын

I saw a video where the humans were described as fireflies or dying sparks

@standard-carrier-wo-chan 9 ай бұрын

I wonder how adulthood and age of consent would be translated over species with vastly different timespans.

@magickmynd1296 8 ай бұрын

It's a pretty common theme when it comes to sci-fi tropes. Different species living for different amounts of time causing large disparities in how their societies function and how their individuals think. Usually with humans it is either the alien species living extremely short lives or very long ones. I did read one where apparently humans were actually a longer lived alien species, but the ones on earth were the result of a ship full of "diseased" children of that species who crash landed and were only able to grow old enough to reach reproductive maturity and over time and generations they lost the knowledge of where they came from. Many thousands of years later the original species of humans finds the planet and discovers the issue and "cures" humanity of its disease and they go back to living their intended longer life spans again.

@aaronalkor 10 ай бұрын

I thought this video was going to discuss that modern humans (the species) have existed for roughly 300,000 years earth-time, not the average lifespan of an individual human. But, it was a 50/50 shot on the topic, so I’m only slightly disappointed

@dolamrothknight 10 ай бұрын

cry about it

@aaronalkor 10 ай бұрын

@@dolamrothknight No? Who do you think you are, Toby McGuire?

@theinvisiblecameraman1711 6 ай бұрын

@@dolamrothknight whoa, you didn't just wake up under the bed, someone must have also pissed in your cereal

@ssw84 8 ай бұрын

This is the very first HFY story I heard, a couple of days ago and I've been through a few dozen stories and hours... many hours... worth it.

@toi_techno 10 ай бұрын

My dad argues that if we do send out interstellar ships the crews should be made up of small people, the size of the smallest jockeys, so they need less food and living space etc

@fast1nakus 10 ай бұрын

Depends on what kind of spaceship were talking about. Generational ships, where people live "normally", having children etc probably do need some kind of size control. But you dont want to go overboard - small head, small brain.

@lordsheogorath3377 10 ай бұрын

Add 1 big guy. Standard procedure. You ALWAYS need one big guy.

@FutureMan420Blazer 10 ай бұрын

@@fast1nakus There is no need for that. A spaceship/generational roughly 1km x 1 km x 1km or a lego block with a rotating Oneil cylinder built into it, can house 200.000 people comfortably.

@fast1nakus 10 ай бұрын

@@FutureMan420Blazer Oneil cylinders are cool, when rotating around the star and getting quasi unlimited source of energy. but Im talking about spaceships flying to the closest stars for thousands of generations without many opportunities for pit-stops along the way. thats the time scale where natural selection kicks in.

@Nerdiness1985 10 ай бұрын

You dad should be a Hollywood writer. He has about as much imagination and understanding of science as they do. I don't even know where to begin with that one. Future tech.............possibly hundreds of years of more advanced tech and science, best solution: send people that are a bit smaller. That'll help.

@LukeVilent 10 ай бұрын

Plot twist: the contacted race were space Skaven.

@goddessmelanisia 10 ай бұрын

Space Elf sounds like what McCoy would call Spock. 😂

@Jedidiah_Martin_2 9 ай бұрын

Well, Vulcans _are_ incredibly long-lived by human standards....

@paulholmpileborg6340 9 ай бұрын

Eh, not in startrek. Humans lived to their 120:ies, got senile and all that stuff at a century or if healthy + a decade. Vulcans lived to two centuries and started to stop working at their 190:ies. Except for Tuvok who apparently lives to his 230:ies@@Jedidiah_Martin_2

@marcusrauch4223 9 ай бұрын

Well, Vulcans are basically space elves. And Romulans are space dark elves I guess.

@loganshaw4527 6 ай бұрын

They used to be the same race.

@uCruz_ 10 ай бұрын

We humans do love a story were we are the protagonist don't we, I know I sure love it.

@tremedar 10 ай бұрын

I especially love the ones that flip our typical vision of contact with aliens on its head, and *we're* the supremely powerful and advanced civilization.

@uCruz_ 10 ай бұрын

@@tremedar It wouldn't be too out of this world, pun intended, that we are the most advanced ones

@iguanaking1361 10 ай бұрын

Yes , I too (a human) liked this story

@epaminon6196 10 ай бұрын

To be fair, if the Space Doggos live life much faster than we do, then their civilization might advance quicker than ours. Within a few decades, theirs might become more advanced than ours that way.

@uCruz_ 10 ай бұрын

@@epaminon6196 Maybe, or maybe they would stagnate and not progress further because their life is too short and can't spare to invest extra time in to research. If you had 10 years left, would you use it to research something that might lead nowhere?

@BrokenCurtain 10 ай бұрын

0:58 "racist standards" should be "race's standards"

@labelledamedumanor4876 7 ай бұрын

Whoever made those on screen subtitles should have paid better attention to what they were doing.

@CmdrShepardsPie 9 ай бұрын

KZbin randomly recommended this to me and I've never heard of this channel before. It's a great first impression, I'll be checking out more!

@SciFiStoryGuy 9 ай бұрын

Hey, glad you found us. Bunch of awesome stories here, Enjoy!

@alexis1451 8 ай бұрын

That last line - perfection!

@Fikoj 8 ай бұрын

yea, hopefully they are not so horny they make a god

@coolet9132 10 ай бұрын

I would say that it would be okay to meet the fantasy version Elves and maybe Eldar if it's the Eldar before they went into their rabbit hole of pleasure.

@SarthorS 9 ай бұрын

During the Dark Age of Technology, there was actually a non-aggression pact in place between The Eldar and The Humans. Strangely enough, there was also one with The Orks. I guess they didn't find it fun to be obliterated without even a token fight.

@gundam2jimmy 10 ай бұрын

I like that last line.

@hankwinters5787 10 ай бұрын

The Warhammer part killed me 😂😂

@grey11aldering 10 ай бұрын

As so as the diplomats.🤯

@zebrasinamerica 9 ай бұрын

Though short, this is one of my favorite of the sci-fi shorts online. I wish there was more related to it.

@AmoyamoyamoyaYouTube 10 ай бұрын

Loved the WH40K reference

@Philipasu 10 ай бұрын

So, those aliens are like guinea pigs? I first thought of dogs, but they tend to live 10+ years easily, even at 7 they aren't old (maybe middle aged, depending on the race, bigger ones tend to live longer).

@Trollioli 10 ай бұрын

You cheeky sausage"D The warhammer comment got me.

@chrishamilton7516 10 ай бұрын

On average a human being lives for 840 months (70 years.)

@vidal9747 10 ай бұрын

Sincerely, we could probably live to about 130 with future medicine. There are people that reached more than 120, so there is probably not a very hard limit lower than that

@kathleenhensley5951 9 ай бұрын

I'm 72, in my family, I've had ancestors that lived to be 95 -105.

@hiddendesire3076 9 ай бұрын

⁠⁠⁠@@vidal9747I think it was in a 1917 recording of a gathering of some of the oldest citizens, but I remember that there was a woman, I think around 109 or so, looked to be about 80-90 by our modern standards, but could move like a 70 year old as she danced with her husband as her great great grandkids watched. Had also seen a video about a 108 year old woman named Florence Pannell and a 116 year old woman named Emma Morano who were born around the end of the 1800s. The thing that stood out the most was how sharp their minds were. Compared to most things days, we are all aging like milk by their standards.

@hunterbear2421 9 ай бұрын

Remember some people just have good genes, So yeah it might just be because they were lucky and were born with a body that somehow made it to that age without much help but with medicine nowadays we might be able to get around needing good genes or at least help ourselves live longer and keep our minds from disappearing. We are already making medicines that do that.@@hiddendesire3076

@Luke_wait_for_it_marengo 10 ай бұрын

This is awesome. Keep them coming

@DarkVeghetta 10 ай бұрын

They seem like good neighbors. Trade might be a little wonky, with how fast we'd need to produce goods to properly integrate into their markets.

@KlavierMenn 10 ай бұрын

But think: planed obsolecence would skyrocket, since they'd not see it as such. An equipment lasting 2~3 years would be mind-bendingly durable to these critters!

@grey11aldering 10 ай бұрын

@@KlavierMenn elven quality indeed😂

@tsugima6317 4 ай бұрын

Have you read "Live Free or Die" by John Ringo? It's one of my favorites. An alien race comes to establish trade with Earth, and meets up with a webcomic designer who's a lot more savvy than politicians......

@DarkVeghetta 4 ай бұрын

@@tsugima6317 While I have over a hundred tabs open atm, I shall search for that story in particular, since you named it specifically. Cheers!

@pheonixblue01 7 ай бұрын

I love the idea that they went “oh shit… space elves. Watch out.”

@pauls7956 10 ай бұрын

Love this story. Thanks.

@johnbohler6504 9 ай бұрын

That last line just killed this.

@lexington476 10 ай бұрын

Good story. Just found your channel.

@SciFiStoryGuy 10 ай бұрын

Welcome! Glad you enjoyed it!

@ducontra666999 9 ай бұрын

"Warhammer?" asked the xenos ooh boy.. better forget about this one...

@dianalindeman1644 2 ай бұрын

My mother is ninety. She lives connected to tubes in a nursing facility, but she is well cared for. We enjoy each other's company each time I see her. My younger sister and I are also seniors, although not as old as our mother. How sad these poor aliens are as short lived as they are short.

@TheLaluciDaniel 4 ай бұрын

"Just hoping they aren't the Warhammer kind" I'm just hoping they're not the Druhkari kind!

@oatlegOnYt 10 ай бұрын

Warhammer space elves feels weird. But, space dwarfs? Yeah!

@CanadianFH 10 ай бұрын

Yeah. Warhammer space elves are quite weird... well. More arrogant, xenophobic, genocidal, and severely prone to a sort of OCD that can reshape their entire personality into ficsated experts... or just going so deep into BDSM that they plunge a thousand worlds into "space hell" Space dwarves are a lot safer...

@BoojumFed 10 ай бұрын

Space Dwarves are just Star Trek engineers. ;^)

@СергейРысь-ю9ч 10 ай бұрын

Rock and Stone brother!

@mr5yy 10 ай бұрын

@@СергейРысь-ю9чDidi I hear someone say “Rock and Stone”?!?

@LukeVilent 10 ай бұрын

@@mr5yyRock and Stone!

@l33tninj4studios 10 ай бұрын

I mean, the craftworld are just dicks, it's the Drukari that you really need to worry about.

@Hillwatch 10 ай бұрын

“Cheeky “ space elves 😂

@labbit35 9 ай бұрын

“Yeah my grandma is in her 90s” “Holy shit” “And then we got animals that are a few hundred years old” “Wtf” “And we got trees that are like thousands of years old, crazy, isn’t it?” (Fucking faints from the information

@nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115 9 ай бұрын

The Emperor approves.

@BeeWaifu 10 ай бұрын

I'm considered an elgi? THAT'S GOING IN THE BOOK!

@btt4674 8 ай бұрын

If you're writing a book or a story, let me know - I'm a voracious reader.

@BeeWaifu 8 ай бұрын

@@btt4674 I already did.

@mcdade1916 10 ай бұрын

Nice one, in the end, I almost died from my drink. Lol I really need to invest in gales if I'm going to keep breathing water.

@labelledamedumanor4876 7 ай бұрын

Amazing story. But imagine the amazement if the human told the alien that there were animals with longer life spans than themselves.

@ShadowDemon_4 6 ай бұрын

Turtles are what first came to mind. They can get huge too.

@lvluptoaverage52 10 ай бұрын

Heard this story before but the voice is way better so even if is a new channel I will subscribe and I hope you will make more videos. You have an excellent voice for this.

@nicholasjh1 10 ай бұрын

Agreed. Great voice acting for the different speakers

@TheAsuraeva 6 ай бұрын

Soooo....dog years, literally

@Singlemethod4217 10 ай бұрын

Sounds like they met with a version of the Ocampa from ST: Voyager.

@Reiman33 9 ай бұрын

that was nice. you got a sub

@KuddlesbergTheFirst 9 ай бұрын

Imagine Angron or Horus reborn as a young elf wanting head pats.

@nimrath 10 ай бұрын

hahaha. That ending. :D Lets assume this was during the beginning of the Dark Age of Technology it would mean the Eldar were, if not nice, at least not the isolationists they are in the current setting (and lets not forget the Dark Eldar), so if they did meet them, i think at worst they would be ignored, at best seen a mild amusement and worthy of at best a quick "hello, now bugger off!"

@Papa_Waffles 9 ай бұрын

I love Warhammer still exist in that future

@dawall3732 10 ай бұрын

Just hope they aren't the Warhammer kind.😂

@87398 4 ай бұрын

“Let’s hope they’re not from Warhammer kind” the data-slate pinged as the delegate read 2 fainted in choke Glimpo vomit While the rest of the delegation turn pale in fear

@czinn327 10 ай бұрын

I get it: This is a third generation of AI text to speech to text to speech. Someone had an AI read the original story (or a human read it), then had an AI read it, then that reading was translated to text. Giving us gems like "racist standards". Low effort I guess.

@rev.jonathanwint6038 10 ай бұрын

Bite your tongue Slaanesh is AWESOME! ❤

@carlwilkerson9722 8 ай бұрын

"Anyway, we came to offer you little guys an expansion franchise in the Galactic Blood Bowl League!"

@kevley26 8 ай бұрын

This reminds me of Dragons egg, but to a less extreme degree. In this book the aliens' life times are only about 40 minutes, so communication is difficult to say the least. Over a only a few weeks the humans are able to see the aliens' civilization develop.

@tsugima6317 4 ай бұрын

I've read that.... it's by Robert Forward. I've read sci fi since the late 50s.

@Segen_Bell 6 ай бұрын

No, no, we should hope that nothing is War hammer type. I hope everything is The Orville type.

@HamguyBacon 10 ай бұрын

They would progress at a much faster rate than us, but would be technologically lower than us because all their engineers, inventors, musicians and scientists would die quicker.

@kevinmccalister4602 10 ай бұрын

I agree. Once you give these things an idea they'll run with it. But just having a new idea and proving it's a good idea would be difficult. Imagine trying to invent something new and needing 1000 tries before you succeed. Their species Thomas Edisson would probably die before inventing anything. But improving and perfecting something that exists? That is where they would rapidly thrive as a species.

@tomast9034 9 ай бұрын

they would need to pass down knowledge by genes or dna. or be very very very inteligent.

@mr.g6875 8 ай бұрын

the end got me so hard😆

@contrafax 9 ай бұрын

Nice! Good punch line.

@Sef_Era 10 ай бұрын

Just hope they aren’t elves by way of the Fae, I think you mean. I’d take 40k’s over the Fair Folk, every time.

@johnnywalker8815 10 ай бұрын

Your right the fae of old were said to be evil as fuk😅

@RyanWilliams-sq8fg 9 ай бұрын

WARHAMMER KIND HAHAHAHA!

@steampunknord 10 ай бұрын

You really should make it clearer which is speaking in a conversation. The subtitles are all the same colour and start with lowercase even when switching voices, that are all voiced the same way.

@xspence2404 9 ай бұрын

That was good!

@stolt8045 9 ай бұрын

ROFLMAO that ending!

@zac0918 9 ай бұрын

hopefully its the star trek kind

@auroraasleep Ай бұрын

Yes

@mariomachadofilho 10 ай бұрын

And then slanesh was born

@kennethmana3103 10 ай бұрын

7:46 if they are which would be better the BDSM, the hippie's or the clowns?

@ecthelionalfa 10 ай бұрын

The hippies, they stick to their planets and are quite chill, if you dont approach as wh40k humans do

@kennethmana3103 10 ай бұрын

@@ecthelionalfa what would be an appropriate description for the Craft World Eldar?

@Epoxinator 9 ай бұрын

I would suggest adding names next to dialog so it would be clear who exactly was speaking.

@beridot2615 10 ай бұрын

You should use different voices for different characters. its hard to differentiate characters.

@MABGaming01 9 ай бұрын

Space Elfes: DMT 😂

@tonyug113 9 ай бұрын

Age and time perception may be a function of temperature (ie available energy) and gravity. On earth deep sea fish can live 300 years (unless eaten ), you need energy to support an active life.... and gravity - you need to react fast enough to not die from a fall. I guess there are many possible environments where age and perception of time would make communication (or maybe even awareness of intelligence) impossible between us and them..... ps,. octopi only live 2 years and we consider them intelligent - tough probably have similar time perception --- but ever atched a squirrel, they seem to live far faster than us.

@dennisdeal3323 9 ай бұрын

Or the Spelljammer drow.. That would be awkward..

@AC130boi 5 ай бұрын

dang then sleepy joe must be god

@awedelen2 10 ай бұрын

Well, that a fun. 😁

@mtpender69 10 ай бұрын

FOR THE EMPEROR!

@verramagnus381 10 ай бұрын

Another machine-generated video. This is fun in spite of it, but we're doomed.

@jaklinhyde 10 ай бұрын

Ha!! I loved this one 😂😂

@AiLiang-hh2zg 10 ай бұрын

40K reference Ha!

@xzenitramx666 5 ай бұрын

Checks to read Warhammer. They shit their suits.

@claireglory 8 ай бұрын

YOU HOPE THEY ARE NOT WARHAMMER

@larsharris 10 ай бұрын

Frame of reference is everything. I have run into it with other Americans. I am amazed how many have no knowledge beyond their little group. Feel everyone else is deprived.

@SharkmanJhones 10 ай бұрын

"By their racist standards" "they had only seen hollow imAGEs" I think the story could do with a bit of proofreading...TTS bot could do with a bit of work, too.

@Pash4Vash 8 ай бұрын

lmao@ warhammer space elves

@bobdole6411 10 ай бұрын

R. Daneel Olivaw>Vulcan>Human>Glimpo

@robertnett9793 10 ай бұрын

Hm... Nice idea. But then - considering a space faring civilisation and able to decypher planetary transmissions... they should have been aware of the age difference.

@emerosky9899 10 ай бұрын

motherfucking house cat lives longer than this dudes 😂

@Vertraic 10 ай бұрын

I first thought it was talking about the human RACE, and how ridiculously fast we were progressing due to our insane disregard for safety in experimentation:D Like, "How the HECK are you in space with less than 100,000 years of development, let alone less than 10,000?!"