Highly Sensitive People, Relationships & Attachement Trauma

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Candace van Dell

Candace van Dell

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 550
@dallasdandigitalproduction393
@dallasdandigitalproduction393 5 жыл бұрын
"relationships wont heal you, they will only reflect back to you what needs to be healed"- truth
@ChrisDragotta
@ChrisDragotta 5 жыл бұрын
Dallas Dan Digital Productions Like when you don't earn enough money. Heal that, sucka!
@bondarem
@bondarem 5 жыл бұрын
Yes and no. Relationship don't heal. But love does. It's like water to a flower.
@inhouseadmin9192
@inhouseadmin9192 5 жыл бұрын
@@bondarem if there are some underlying traumatic issue engrained in your mind from previous relationships. That must be healed
@tracieriley9688
@tracieriley9688 5 жыл бұрын
100% TRUE!!
@magesense456
@magesense456 4 жыл бұрын
Bondarem...,So true!
@kittykitcat6932
@kittykitcat6932 6 жыл бұрын
It just hurts so much when I don’t think I’m worthy of being loved. I don’t know why I often feel that way. It makes me want to push everyone away and just isolate myself.
@barbmcmullen2936
@barbmcmullen2936 6 жыл бұрын
Me too...
@tariqari
@tariqari 5 жыл бұрын
this !!!
@rosecityremona
@rosecityremona 5 жыл бұрын
I've dedicated myself to remaining single for this very reason and have been teaching myself how to stay detached yet happy. It's been working so far....
@bryanw9840
@bryanw9840 5 жыл бұрын
Kitty Kitcat me too, exactly. But then isolation is also painful. It's pain no matter what I do.
@paulcooper5748
@paulcooper5748 5 жыл бұрын
I can relate kitty kitcat very much.
@AJonYT
@AJonYT 5 жыл бұрын
I'm dating a sensitive person and this helps me understand her a bit better and how I can be there for her. Thank you so much
@dvdschaaf
@dvdschaaf 5 жыл бұрын
HeyImBro good for you bro!! ❤️
@samanthachildress1091
@samanthachildress1091 4 жыл бұрын
My boyfriend is supportive as well, kudos to to for caring enough to understand her 👌🏽
@theshepard22
@theshepard22 4 жыл бұрын
You are seriously awesome AJ! Thata way!
@anu7982
@anu7982 4 жыл бұрын
Omg , guys like you exist ,Thank God !sweet guy and lucky girlfriend . Love ♥️
@happythoughts505
@happythoughts505 3 жыл бұрын
Yes she is very lucky to have u & u also for looking beyond the sensitivity, we are also amazing people!!
@pattiel1108
@pattiel1108 6 жыл бұрын
That was an excellent comment about how our relationships are not going to heal us. They are only going to reflect back to us what needs to be healed. The more we love and respect ourselves the less we will tolerate poor treatment from others.
@gilmourishgilmourish6205
@gilmourishgilmourish6205 5 жыл бұрын
Patricia Likakis I agree on this comment. A year ago I left an abusive relationship. I respected myself enough to walk away but it made me suffer tremendously. Went back all the way to my childhood, guess I still needed that in despite of two years of therapy. But I wouldn’t let him disrespect me. I learned a lot about narcissistic abuse and now set boundaries and grew stronger. Learned I wasn’t to be controlled and like my freedom too much to be in a relationship. I love my la la land better on my own.
@sandratomasek2245
@sandratomasek2245 6 жыл бұрын
This made me cry .Its exactly how I feel always different and not fitting in.
@CandacevanDell
@CandacevanDell 6 жыл бұрын
I absolutely understand ;-)
@flamingrobin5957
@flamingrobin5957 6 жыл бұрын
you are different. someone sent you the message that it was wrong or bad or upsetting for you to be a individuated unique self. Embrace the you that is separate from other people, their expectations, their needs, their emotions. you will only fit with other people when those others have and established individuated identity apart from you. boundaries, embrace the separateness and attachment takes time slowly over time. you have to be a true , honest integrated authentic self to not get lost in another person. sit for a moment and feel the strength that you have to be whole confident unique and able to emote and feel the feelings that come up and own them. Find some safe people or therapists that will give you boundaries, and emotional compassion and empathy. they wont merge with you they will be able to see you without losing themselves or expecting you to give up part of yourself . start slow and listen to your heart it will signal when someone or something is or may be unsafe.
@jessicakendall6003
@jessicakendall6003 5 жыл бұрын
Totally feel u there. By the end of the video, I was in tears as well.
@krzysztofantoniak471
@krzysztofantoniak471 5 жыл бұрын
U r so pretty
@littlelily4
@littlelily4 4 жыл бұрын
I cried as well 😢
@Missy-Leigh
@Missy-Leigh 5 жыл бұрын
We accept the love we think we deserve.
@sagittarius284
@sagittarius284 5 жыл бұрын
It's incomplete the whole thing is:- "We accept the love we think we deserve and you deserve more and more..."
@amritaswift443
@amritaswift443 4 жыл бұрын
I was thinking about this in the shower and now I see it in the comments....😨
@Missy-Leigh
@Missy-Leigh 4 жыл бұрын
@@amritaswift443 Ha. That's gonna start happening a lot. To a lot of people. It's called synchronicity.
@kellyreilan
@kellyreilan 4 жыл бұрын
Great Quote by “Steven Chbosky”
@Missy-Leigh
@Missy-Leigh 4 жыл бұрын
@@kellyreilan I wasn’t aware of Steven Chbosky having said this until I read your comment. And I have never read any of his work but It’s possible that at some point, somewhere I heard it from someone. So I wasn’t attempting to claim it as my own. Our thoughts feel as if they are unique and belonging to us but we’re all just downloading from a cloud so to speak. There is nothing new under the sun. But thank you, truly, for crediting an author who could very be the first to have downloaded and communicated such a profound statement.
@desireep.3459
@desireep.3459 6 жыл бұрын
This message made me cry, as I am sure it evoked a lot of self reflection for other highly sensitive people out there. I can really connect with the way this message is delivered. Thank you. And for the 5 people who disliked this video, go take a nap. A long one.
@jenny12050
@jenny12050 3 жыл бұрын
This makes me cry also, why is this do you think 🌸
@moonbabyhealing
@moonbabyhealing 3 жыл бұрын
😂 take a nap
@annac8124
@annac8124 5 жыл бұрын
This video really opened my eyes. For years I've struggled with relationships but not really understood why. I have a good relationship with family and friends but when it came to romantic relationships I have had huge problems in connecting to and holding onto a relationship with someone I really like. I have suffered from anxiety for many years but always thought that was limited to certain situations, I never realised how bad my anxiety was and how much it had affected my relationships. The idea of seeking validity in others is something I've done for years and as a result ive ended up dating a number of alpha males who just made me feel anxious and insecure. Great post.
@ReformedWhiteKnight
@ReformedWhiteKnight 5 жыл бұрын
@Anna C - 'ive ended up dating a number of alpha males who just made me feel anxious and insecure' - I wonder what those bad, bad alpha males would have to tell me about the relationship with you! I have experienced 'highly sensitive people' = Borderline Personality Disorder and it's them who treat the rest of the world bad. Not the other way round like you try to suggest here!
@annac8124
@annac8124 5 жыл бұрын
@@ReformedWhiteKnight well these men I referred to almost always come back 1, 2, 3 years down the line apologising for their behaviour / trying to win me back, usually after they've grown up a bit. Anyway the great thing is that I've now broken the mould and am dating someone entirely different - someone who understands my sensitivities but above all is a fantastic communicator, which in my view is the best quality anyone can have. Provided channels of communication are good there is no reason why any couple cannot succeed.
@littlelily4
@littlelily4 4 жыл бұрын
@@annac8124 that is so great it gives me hope! 🙏
@MeegoHeebo
@MeegoHeebo 5 жыл бұрын
Relationships on their own probably won't heal the attachment trauma but being in an emotionally safe relationship greatly helps in the recovery. Being in an unsafe and/or neglecting relationship surely will impede healing from the attachment trauma.
@burritomaker69
@burritomaker69 5 жыл бұрын
If you have attachment traumas in general I hate to break it to you but you shouldn’t be in a relationship with anyone but yourself. It’s really selfish to place this burden on someone else in a relationship because surely part of your character in a relationship will be affected likely in ways that are unfair to someone else.
@heartspacerelaxations6924
@heartspacerelaxations6924 2 жыл бұрын
I think attraction to a dismissive avoidant attachment partner is for me part of trying to heal a wound by a parent that was attuned and still is not, is very intense, and so wants to help it’s overwhelming in her OTT praise which feels so uncomfortable.
@nikkic83
@nikkic83 5 жыл бұрын
I’m 56 now. I wish I had understood this a long time ago. The continual abuse over decades and subsequent traumas could have all been avoided.
@ariannaturtles6489
@ariannaturtles6489 5 жыл бұрын
For the longest time, I did not realize that I was dealing with a "me" that was traumatized. I acknowledge that my actions in seeking relationships were not unhealthy and usually lead to really unpleasant outcomes. I think that was because I entered "relationships" even if the were platonic (friends with benefits) looking to be healed but they only made me feel less. Because I was looking for validation. I was looking for validation. I was trying to make friends that would stay but they all left after they got what they wanted. Which only made the wound deeper. But I live and I learn and I won't shame myself for what I have done. Everyone should know that in your past you did all you could do in the circumstances you were in with the information you had. Don't down yourself for not knowing what you do now.
@zsofiahesketh126
@zsofiahesketh126 5 жыл бұрын
Hey Arianna, thanks for sharing. I feel really similarly to you, especially regarding friends with benefits situations. I needed validation that I am wanted, but ended up being not wanted 'enough' to be their partner which made me feel worse. If I had expressed my own needs better earlier on, I could have avoided feeling less-than down the line and might even have turned a couple of these situations into actual relationships. But without being aware of this cycle like I am now, I would not have known how to communicate anyway. Would be great to chat about our experiences/offer mutual support, let me know if you're interested :)
@fx4147
@fx4147 5 жыл бұрын
It takes time to heal guys, never give up on yourself, establish that wonderful connection with yourself and THEN everything will fall into place. You should take care of yourself; watch that feeling, never run away from it. You must do what you love in life; put yourself first more. Many of us tend to be people pleasers at the extent of ourselves, it rarely works. Work out, study, read self help books relating the subject, meditate, become and upright and decent person. Surround yourself with supportive people who truly want the best for you. But thing is, where possible, don't depend on others for something. We need to become self-sufficient. You will see when you taste glimpses of that wonderful self-love, that amazing connection with yourself, others will notice too. Its almost like magic. Everything is about your inside. Everything outside of you serves as a mirror. May you accomplish it!
@jordansaintemarie
@jordansaintemarie 5 жыл бұрын
Oftentimes being “highly sensitive” is just a form of Hypervigilance which is a symptom of trauma
@guidetti5692
@guidetti5692 5 жыл бұрын
Will it go away when the trauma heals??
@littlelily4
@littlelily4 4 жыл бұрын
That totally makes sense! Thank you
@fc4660
@fc4660 4 жыл бұрын
Hyper vigilance is something we will always have but it is a super power and we can see great benefits from it than purely an early warning system to detect danger.
@briannatanner8309
@briannatanner8309 4 жыл бұрын
This has helped me understand. I was in therapy from the age of 15 to 21. I was diagnosed with Adjustment disorder. Which has a lot of triggers for me but I worked through it in therapy for those years. But it has always made me want my personal space, I didn’t like hugs (but that was because I didn’t grow up with my mom hugging me). Also I never wanted to make new friends because “I don’t see the point in being close with someone that’ll later won’t talk to me”. I’ve always tried to avoid human interaction to avoid building attachments. This video and therapy has helped me understand.
@Me-xb1ik
@Me-xb1ik 5 жыл бұрын
This is so me..i learnt to heal the past,it was so painful and now i can be with someone without being clingy,i had to love myself first.
@andreiaalexandre6591
@andreiaalexandre6591 11 ай бұрын
Relationships are so overwhelming for me. Its very hard to deal with people, because i feel I'm gonna make mess at any time.
@MoNaMoOzZ
@MoNaMoOzZ 5 жыл бұрын
whoa.... I'm having an insane moment right now because it feels like this entire video you have been describing me and my life... I thought I was crazy and something was wrong with me and I definitely carry so much shame like I have to hide that part of myself. But you describing all of this showed me that my issue isn't something new, weird or crazy. That there is a cause for why I feel insecure in my relationships.. and the good news is now that I know WHAT the problem really is, I can finally start working on fixing it. This was very eye opening for me, thank you very much
@helloeveryone9643
@helloeveryone9643 3 жыл бұрын
your videos make me feel that I shouldnt need anyone to a point where now i cannot talk or connect with anyone about anything cause its all mundane stuff and I can only connect on deep level
@robertjefferies147
@robertjefferies147 5 жыл бұрын
I can relate to this My mother was emotionally distant I never knew who my Dad was and in my relationships I became very codependent and needy and addicted to love
@saedaissa5949
@saedaissa5949 3 ай бұрын
What helped you heal?? Please
@tomvalenta3307
@tomvalenta3307 6 жыл бұрын
Candace most of us have been trying to accomplish this our entire lives, the problem is that Most of us have been struggling with our belief systems our entire lives and most of us still are, I should know, I'm one of them!!!
@annerosevanooijen5442
@annerosevanooijen5442 6 жыл бұрын
Ohhhh that last sentence was really good... "our relationships are only going to reflect to us what we can heal within ourselves"
@sandraharris8978
@sandraharris8978 5 жыл бұрын
During my last relationship, I did develop an unhealthy attachment to my boyfriend at the time. Both him and his sister also could tell that I had healthy attachment to my mother which became more recent at the time because i had moved out of state away from everyone i knew. At one point in the relationship with my boyfriend, an event occurred and my mother decided to shame me for a decision and i went into a mental and emotional breakdown, thinking my mother did love me anymore. Though, I was not a child anymore, I expect this can be attachment trauma. My boyfriend hadn't the slightest clue how to handle such an emotional person like myself and it was such a huge turn off to see me like that and soon would break up with me. Where was I going with this? Well, I had started therapy and I started to realize a few things about my family. Only recently did I actually come to realize the amount of invalidation I received from my family growing up. On one point, I remember I was 11, throwing a fit and my dad popping me on my face and having cuts all over my lips. And then my mom telling me that wasn't abuse. A lot of that stuff would continue. I'm both a very outwardly emotional person and a very emotionally sensitive person. A lot of times my own emotions were invalidated by my mom and siblings, like I am overreacting or get over the situation. It felt like my emotions were meanings. So I am always trying to find a way to validate my feelings through others. This video has given me another direction for me to look into because my last breakup has caused me to suffer from PTSD that stemmed from the attachment trauma.
@DancingL704
@DancingL704 5 жыл бұрын
Sandra Harris I’m sorry, I totally understand your pain 🌈💕
@kitssch
@kitssch 6 жыл бұрын
“It was never about me” that in and of itself helps so much. I always thought I was the focus. I feel like I can walk off this set of a horror movie of a memory, now, honestly.
@orianasantos647
@orianasantos647 5 жыл бұрын
Wow... this is absolutely amazing. I lost my dad when i was 4 and my mom and sister weren't always that nice to me, like i didnt felt worthy.. that made me so emotional and insecure all these years and seeking for love in somebodys soul. Now i can do something about it, very good video and coach!
@BJKage
@BJKage 6 жыл бұрын
I love your voice and thank you for not including any music.
@rachelmacdonald9195
@rachelmacdonald9195 6 жыл бұрын
must be bc she's an hsp she knows we don't like to have extra things. I love music, but I want to hear her clearly
@emotophobiccdd8006
@emotophobiccdd8006 5 жыл бұрын
I cannot stand music in videos. It makes me feel manipulated.
@FollowingJesus17
@FollowingJesus17 3 жыл бұрын
This video is exactly what I needed to hear it's like music to my ears.
@jasonbock2108
@jasonbock2108 6 жыл бұрын
I have have always know but have recently discovered this special term "highly sensitive people"... I am embracing this as a gift and not a curse, as I have always felt differently and thought differently, almost extremely... I am comforted now that I understand that I do NOT stand alone... I am most grateful that I stumbled upon you Miss Candace... With me comes much depth and I know I fit within this whole spectrum and have walked away from every 10 minute "wisdom share/video", with something incredible worth sharing myself... I just want to say that I am incredibly GRATEFUL to have found this incredible resource to reaching my highest potentials... Many thanks...
@gabyr3088
@gabyr3088 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. I've been dealing with anxiety for days now. Today was one of my bad days. Watching this video, helped me put my thoughts together and think more clearly. I appreciate your content.
@letsplayluna
@letsplayluna 6 жыл бұрын
I've seen a lot of videos about being an HSP, but this is the first that has emotionally moved me. I legit got choked up towards rhe end of the video because it resonated with me so much lol
@sjsmith5
@sjsmith5 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much these messages are very impactful and help me understand what I couldn’t before so thank you for all the work that you do and the positive vibe your spreading it is truly gods gift thank you
@fx4147
@fx4147 5 жыл бұрын
You should experience all of your emotions, because what you resist will persist. If you don’t deal with bad emotions, the energy will get stored as muscle tension in your nervous system. Even if you have to spend all day crying and experiencing the feelings, you’ve got to feel it to heal it.
@lorrainemcmahon5246
@lorrainemcmahon5246 4 жыл бұрын
You are profoundly comforting and are giving me hope that I will be able to heal from this.
@apope06
@apope06 5 жыл бұрын
Sexually abused then abandoned by my mother. She walked away forever. The pain is subtle yet manageable enough to be successful in my career. But...when I have a crush on a girl and start to fall for her...the panic attacks begin. Another good video. I'm working on my self. But that process may take a lifetime. I dont see myself strong enough for a relationship to work. In your 30s time is limited to get married and start a family.
@PERSNICKETYREBELSHANGO
@PERSNICKETYREBELSHANGO 5 жыл бұрын
apope06 God I understand 😓
@hakeemabdellah1192
@hakeemabdellah1192 5 жыл бұрын
This was a very, very powerful message you delivered. I recently came to an understanding about the unhealthy emotional attachment I had years ago in my last relationship, and your insights are providing clarity about the origins of the need I was attempting to fulfill. Thank you 👍🏾
@kochtanya
@kochtanya 3 жыл бұрын
You are amazing! Wise words.
@lelemhotorotv9432
@lelemhotorotv9432 3 жыл бұрын
Text for help on WhatsApp
@lelemhotorotv9432
@lelemhotorotv9432 3 жыл бұрын
+2348156896436❤️❤️
@liteblueflame
@liteblueflame 6 жыл бұрын
Im having this issue atm, I don't want to outsource my validation but it takes over me and I get anxiety attacks. I keep thinking that there is something wrong with me or that I expect too much in a relationship but I did have an emotionally traumatic childhood and I'm going to sit with my inner child and work this out. Thankyou so much x
@alamilloles3
@alamilloles3 Жыл бұрын
Again. Just so spot on. I’ve always got into relationships and have not be single for at least 10 years now since high school. This makes so much sense on the whole love addiction. And now that I am alone and not in a relationship im realizing things never worked bc I’ve always had something to heal within me. Thank you so much Candace for helping me understand. I really need to see a therapist.
@bugsy0173
@bugsy0173 5 жыл бұрын
Wow wow wow wow wow, who is this angel from heaven? How can she have this kind of understanding, wisdom and intuition!!! Especially, so young, Amazing, amazing, amazing. I'm going to stop this daily, all the time busyness and distractions and go deep into this NOW, as in literally NOW. I need to go deep deep deep inside myself and see whats really there.
@moerevlu1
@moerevlu1 5 жыл бұрын
I needed to be reminded of that today. I had a very dehumanizing experience with my Son, who I was Alienated from for 17yrs. My expectations couldn't have been more delusional. I feel as if life and everything it once represented is gone. Working on recreating new, different life, I meditate on having a new perspective, chanting to get rid of karma, yet nothing has happened....yet. I agree it takes time, I've experienced that freedom that comes with self-forgiveness n love. Euphoric was one of the words I used. Here I come face to face with what's the most conflicting emotion, situation, destiny, call it whatever, but it's paralyzing. I'm experiencing the PTSD, behavior. I call it grief. Grief is so heavy, yet I do the best I can one day at a time. Grief took hold and must become my friend or enemy. It either will support me or destroy me. I'm working on the grief to support me. I've got no real empowering thoughts. Dec 1, 2018, my wrist was broken, I'm still not able to use it. It's numb, can't pick up things, in all sorts of therapy but not working. It was a result of being surrounded by first my son who is brainwashed by the alienating parent. But in my son's mind, he told me, when I touch him it feels sexual. I've been a medical esthetician for 21yrs, I touched a lot of people, most respond favorably, I made sure not to hug or stroke his hair too much, I saw him retract a couple of times. Ok, my touch sceves hum out, I get that, but his mother? The trauma done to both of us is criminal. Working through these feelings of being erased. I continue to send him cards, telling him he is loved and ill love him until he can love himself, but days like today, I want to change my name dropped out of society, just get lost, because it matches how I'm feeling. Lost.....but your video helped me....ty you are loved and I honor you.
@04lubarr
@04lubarr 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Candace. The way you summarise and give language to these experiences provides such beautiful clarity - on the journey to providing the deep intimacy and connection with myself needed. The way relationships reflect what we need to heal is quite incredible and the end of this year has brought me face to face with that wound full of shame. Grateful for the video and your work.
@desiree5786
@desiree5786 5 жыл бұрын
this video make me crying all the while until i am done watching this video. This video help me realize and validate the underlying pain that has been ruining my relationships in the past due to my childhood trauma. Thank you very much Candace for this wonderful video. ☺
@zs2302
@zs2302 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your hard work getting this to us. I know it must have been exhausting. We really appreciate what you're doing.
@emmakuechle1267
@emmakuechle1267 4 жыл бұрын
when you said "it was never about you" the waterworks came spouting out. I really needed this thank you!
@javeriaharoon7957
@javeriaharoon7957 5 жыл бұрын
You are my guiding light send from God. May God reward you with more wisdom and blessings. 💖
@spellywelly
@spellywelly 4 жыл бұрын
You are literally saving my life. I'm fighting severe chronic illness and dependent on my parent and so I'm unable to distance myself from the wound which is re-opened every day. Sometimes I think this is more likely to kill me than the illness itself, with no exaggeration. Thank you x
@kiyaamariec8343
@kiyaamariec8343 3 жыл бұрын
5 min in crying but understanding on top of the understanding I already had on why my 2 year relationship isn't working . I didn't change everything he told me was wrong . I'm super emotionally immature I cry in almost every situation, and I feel like I'm going to be lost and nothing without him. He feels different he's better off with out me I caused him too much problems. I Have to accept this and heal myself , he was just the one to show me what I really need help with deep inside. I just found your channel. I found you at the right time to help myself thank you thank you.
@juebasu3166
@juebasu3166 5 жыл бұрын
I have heard many people talking about this topic but, the way you have explained it's fascinating. I appreciate your good work.I am 42 and still, I look for my mother's acceptance, approval and appreciation at any cost. I am always threatened by people, anxious about every situation. Constantly fighting with myself to get rid of these negative feelings and behavior.
@RomaHarish
@RomaHarish 6 ай бұрын
Hey Candace, this video of yours really resonated with me. I feel that I've reflected a lot of my beliefs of shame and jealousy for the longest time. It's an emotional trauma that I've encountered through different ways in different relationships.
@eirmar2705
@eirmar2705 4 жыл бұрын
I just woke up from a sleepless night feeling everything that you described in my skin..not in mind,not in my heart but really, deeply in my skin..!That was first in a lifetime..!I am so grateful!
@TommasoLucaSanna
@TommasoLucaSanna Жыл бұрын
This was amazing. So glad I found your channel. You’re so inspiring, genuine, and the sound of truth about what I have been intuitively feeling. You transferred me so much hope , courage and freedom that I can finally heal.
@Trissa.33
@Trissa.33 3 жыл бұрын
I've been doing this work on myself for 30 years, over and over again delving in, why am I this and why am I that, feeling my feelings, welcoming them.. and this stuff still comes up when I go into a relationship. So now I don't. Single is actually quite nice :) I'm not going to keep doing the moth to a flame thing. I've had a good innings with relationships. I'm almost elderly now. Lots to reflect on and still healing.
@lunarflamepictures6540
@lunarflamepictures6540 4 жыл бұрын
"Gotta feel it to heal it." SUBSCRIBED ;) We're filmmakers that take the deep route. Thank you for this video as it's helped me go a bid deeper not just in myself, but within a character we are going to explore in a project we are developing. Much Love!
@purplemoose6431
@purplemoose6431 4 жыл бұрын
4:26 That's where I'm at! I'm in a relationship but I feel like ending it so my life will be easier. It's hard to deal with everything .
@kardoyle
@kardoyle Ай бұрын
Hope yur better now❤
@willburton490
@willburton490 5 жыл бұрын
"YOU GOTTA FEEL IT TO HEAL IT" !!!! 💖💖💖💖👍👍👍💥💥💥💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥
@shelleestanger8232
@shelleestanger8232 2 жыл бұрын
In my healing process, I found that I was drawn to you and your work more and more .. I needed to be reminded of what this clip was about! I have been feeling the need to be "validated" or "reassured" by my past relationships in one way or another! This current one, is closer to my high vibe then the others, I find that for some reason I am needing to feel those things, if a day or so goes by.. not hearing from them, but when we are together ... there is a lot of LOVE and affection!
@GangstaOfProphecy
@GangstaOfProphecy 6 жыл бұрын
I can tell you are a indigo you are great with words you could definitely talk to people without a script
@KooPooky
@KooPooky 6 жыл бұрын
Candace, you are the real deal. You hit on ALL the points that I only figured myself about myself recently having gone through traumas. Thank you, namaste 🙏
@demelzabrooks1899
@demelzabrooks1899 6 жыл бұрын
Perfect 🐚 Also your energy, and way of teaching is so relaxing 😊
@sadiesheep
@sadiesheep 6 жыл бұрын
I’ve been watching these videos for awhile now and I feel them sooooo much like why don’t we talk about the emotional world more??
@MURDtv
@MURDtv 5 жыл бұрын
It's evolution, Sadie! Centuries ago it had never occurred to people that physical violence wasn't beneficial for society. Then people started talking about it, and change gradually surfaced. Something similar is happening right now regarding the emotional world and psychological violence.
@johannesstabe9959
@johannesstabe9959 5 жыл бұрын
as teal swan put it: we are living in an emotional dark age.
@valerie4545
@valerie4545 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for making these. They have helped me tremendously!! I love this one! It makes sense! You inspire me and make me feel understood!!
@mindyannag.2489
@mindyannag.2489 6 жыл бұрын
Perfect description of what has been going on with myself.
@afdave7
@afdave7 5 жыл бұрын
You are so amazing. Not just knowledge and peacefulness etc, but the way you explain and describe things brings me to awakenings sometimes. I really appreciate your work. You've helped my girlfriend and myself. Thank you!!! Namaste
@marloesstam9036
@marloesstam9036 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video. It's exactely what I used to do.. seeking validation in others. working on self-love now trying to find the strenght and worth within :)
@gajanankishorkshirsagar2369
@gajanankishorkshirsagar2369 6 жыл бұрын
Simply amazing, thanks for clarifying 👍
@CandacevanDell
@CandacevanDell 6 жыл бұрын
Absolutely!
@gabidouglas3813
@gabidouglas3813 Жыл бұрын
I am so glad that i was drawn to you today. I have always known that i was an indigo child... found you in a google seach! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Brilliant videos. So much love. Thank you for sharing this. I literally cried instantly from your loving & healing energy / vibration ❤ ty!
@JR-xo8td
@JR-xo8td 3 жыл бұрын
I am viewing a video you did about a year ago. Goodness. This was meant for me and yes , others. Ouch for the pain of reality and thanks for the hope and probability of healing. I am so very glad you followed your instincts. Bless you. Jack
@pmweiser
@pmweiser 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video. The message most certainly resonated with me and confirmed that I have much work to do with attachment trauma.
@karenstoddard9345
@karenstoddard9345 5 жыл бұрын
Wow thank so very much for explaining why i am sorry for everything i am not...and shamed for what i am. I owe you a unpayable debt. You are a Godsend to me
@tuszajnojneeg0052
@tuszajnojneeg0052 3 жыл бұрын
Well said. It's still really hard to detached from those emotional wound. Intellectually we can understand what happened but emotionally, it feels like burn scar that won't heal. Also, it's very difficult to connect to the child that was wounded. We're taught to deny ourselves and to look outside for validation from birth. Being highly sensative, we take this to heart. It's like we're a piece of cloth and we're soaked in this "dye". We can't separate the original cloth from it.
@patrickemmen1071
@patrickemmen1071 5 жыл бұрын
This is from another planet, thank you ❤️
@jessicakendall6003
@jessicakendall6003 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for being you! I just happen to find this video while searching through my suggestions from KZbin. By the end of the video, I was very emotional but I feel a sense of calm about what I heard you speak about in this video. I look forward to everything I will learn from more of ur videos I will watch in the near future. Above all, I want you to know, that I'm so grateful for u and ur heart, mind and soul. ❤️ I DEFINITELY honor the beauty within u. ❤️
@beforeigo4284
@beforeigo4284 4 жыл бұрын
If you made a film corner w simple decorations and neutral tones, maybe a candle and a plant... something that reflects a safe space vibe. and filmed with a better camera... you’d get even more attention! I’m glad I had some prior knowledge before clicking on your video, so I stayed.. but I’d love to see your message reach more people!! Especially the people who need this the most, may need a more gradual integration 😂 love the things you’ve shared, looking forward to watching your channel grow.
@CandacevanDell
@CandacevanDell 4 жыл бұрын
Savannah Rae totally agree!!! I need help with that. Appreciate you!
@emilycostello7371
@emilycostello7371 4 жыл бұрын
Learning so much about this trait. So thankful for people willing to share and educate ❤️
@rondal7316
@rondal7316 6 жыл бұрын
So blessed to have found your channel today it makes so much sense.
@florinegrange850
@florinegrange850 10 ай бұрын
One of the most precious I watched 🙏
@CandacevanDell
@CandacevanDell 10 ай бұрын
🤍🤍🤍
@miriamkramer7017
@miriamkramer7017 4 жыл бұрын
I have never felt more validated and understood!!
@charodharris
@charodharris 3 жыл бұрын
This hit home in so many ways...I swear it’s therapeutic!
@epicmage82
@epicmage82 3 жыл бұрын
I've had so much trauma in my life that I've never been in a relationship. No physical contact. I have a overwhelming need to hug and cry, but not only does contact triggers me, but guilt and shame makes me avoid everyone. Never been on a date. Kissed once on a dare. The ONLY thing I ever wanted in my life, since I was 5, was to be married. Why? I don't know. I've always felt empty and alone. I've been trying to go through my baggage, but there is just so much. Full of painful thoughts and emotions. I've known since I was 12, 39 now, that when I die it will suicide. It seems like every ten years I have an attempt that I've kept secret. It's just so frustrating to desperately need to be loved, but feel the most lonely and scared when around people. I almost died several times growing up, and there isn't a day that gos by when I wish I had.
@lelemhotorotv9432
@lelemhotorotv9432 3 жыл бұрын
To whom it may concern I can recommend you to someone that helped me fix my broken relationship so happy my ex is back wow , he can also help you as he did mine too
@lelemhotorotv9432
@lelemhotorotv9432 3 жыл бұрын
Contact him directly for help on WhatsApp
@lelemhotorotv9432
@lelemhotorotv9432 3 жыл бұрын
+234:815:6:89:6:4:36
@kari9907
@kari9907 5 жыл бұрын
A friend recommended your videos to me, your content really speaks to me. Even though I understand the information, your way of teaching/explaining the information has helped me make more sense of it and applying it to my life. Thanks what I have been hoping for 🙏
@queenbecks9913
@queenbecks9913 4 жыл бұрын
I really love your videos, they are easy to understand and relate to. “Feel it to heal it.”
@Gypsygal1024
@Gypsygal1024 9 ай бұрын
What an incredible video! Thank you so much 🙏🏼 your content is helping so many
@CandacevanDell
@CandacevanDell 9 ай бұрын
Wow thank you so much!!! I really love what I get to do in the world. I appreciate you ✨
@val3wrld
@val3wrld 5 жыл бұрын
wow you made me reflect. i’ve been going through it the last few months and i figured “hey... maybe u should change” after being so emo that it affected my health. i could not eat 2 bites of anything without gagging and automatically feeling sick. i knew things weren’t perfect in my life but i was comfortable. I know I’m sensitive as shit and i knew i had to get a hold of my emotions and think about why and how i let myself go so far and so bad. It’s crazy that emotions could make you feel so bad but so good, and truly it’s the perspective you’re in that affects your emotions. i know i’ve had plenty of #trauma and i thought i was fine and dandy cause i went to family therapy when i was younger but i truly never healed, especially after losing my very distant pops a few years later. it all sucked and i bottled everything in. i put my past behind me and never looked back, until now that I’m in this reflection period. I’m glad the youtube algorithm recommended me this video, it opened my eyes even more and made my sensitive ass feel a little more at ease :) thanks
@djdroogie
@djdroogie 5 жыл бұрын
Everyone read “The Body Keeps The Score”. By Bessel Van Der Kolk.
@jessicasheradon4531
@jessicasheradon4531 5 жыл бұрын
This Understanding is what i now say is.What people think about me is none of my business ,sounds good with the negative from others but same applies to the people you also love.No one makes you feel.we feel from others.when you really understand this it sets you free .
@tigerbend1964
@tigerbend1964 5 жыл бұрын
I am learning to rely on myself, to trust myself, to support myself, to take the right actions and take back control of my life. My biggest issue is that I feel like I can't rely on myself and keep myself safe.
@purilaw.
@purilaw. 4 жыл бұрын
at the beginning i was afraid the audio quality isnt great, but thank God it gets better after the opening title! thank you for the vid :)
@Pippi-rippi
@Pippi-rippi 3 жыл бұрын
I literally take notes from your videos. Thank you so much for teaching me how to heal myself
@highvibrationalliving2day
@highvibrationalliving2day 4 жыл бұрын
this was a great video... "this is not mental" truth bomb!! thank you
@joaquinramirez214
@joaquinramirez214 6 жыл бұрын
I appreciate you for all you have done. Your creations from your videos are a tool for a better future for myself. Thank you so much for helping Tangled spirits being untangled. 🙏❤❤❤❤
@aida_amore
@aida_amore 5 жыл бұрын
I wish that I knew about this before. 😔 My narcissist mother has played a huge role in this for me. At least now I know how to deal with these wounds now. Thank you ♥️
@edgreen8140
@edgreen8140 3 жыл бұрын
Inner child work can help. It doesn't feel nice but we need to check it out.
@SJ-cd4gx
@SJ-cd4gx 5 жыл бұрын
Thanks for your video so true I can relate as being given away at 2 weeks old, luckily to my grandparents. My mum till this day just doesn't connect emotionally at all and I've been trying to fill this deep sense of rejection. Thanks will try points covered in your video xx
@bea5526
@bea5526 5 жыл бұрын
i think this video has changed my life there is nothing in this video that you said that i thought nah that is not me. i am so grateful today that i came across you and this video thank you
@lonk_daboi6219
@lonk_daboi6219 5 жыл бұрын
I feel like I never tried to get to the root of the issue because my trauma wasn’t nearly as bad as other people’s. But it’s still had a significant effect on my relationships, and I need to fix it. If any of y’all reading this think that because your trauma is very mild it doesn’t need fixing, please, in the end, it’s still trauma, and it needs to be taken seriously. I ignored mine for years. Don’t do that.
@dinaawadallah2423
@dinaawadallah2423 5 жыл бұрын
I fully understand what you are saying ... I have dug deep into dissecting where the roots of my feelings come from to know why I attach myself to certain toxic relationships . I think the hard part for me is actually taking the steps in my life to cut ties with toxic relationships even when I know why I do what I do .
@CathrinCatherine
@CathrinCatherine 4 жыл бұрын
Dear Candace, if I could hit that like button a hundred times, I would! thank you so much for putting this advice on youtube, this is exactly what I just needed! Your work is greatly appreciated, please keep it up
@tloreen6600
@tloreen6600 4 жыл бұрын
Omg you were speaking exactly to me and all my issues. Clearly I was lead to this video for a reason 🙏🏼❤️
@mysticchords
@mysticchords 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you Polyvagal Tuning has helped me in healing the trauma in my nervous system, in conjunction with the psychological and emotional repatterning.
@beautiful_3209
@beautiful_3209 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you I will check this out
@laurareed2612
@laurareed2612 4 жыл бұрын
Do you recommend a video to start with this?
@blessedplace9257
@blessedplace9257 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. Sometimes inner work can get confusing but with you guiding, it removed all that negative self talk. Namaste.🙏
@Adam-ml1ez
@Adam-ml1ez 5 жыл бұрын
Such an enlightening insight into Attachment Trauma, Thankyou Candace! I can assimilate through the view of the Scapegoat child in a dysfunctional family environment. Thanks again
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