HILARIOUS DRUNK STORIES (HYUK)

[@TheDickeyDinesShow]

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[@ryanmjohnson01]

I was once so drunk I tried to stab a bag of doritos with a fork and missed the bag and stabbed my leg in the process. I forgot it was there and woke up with a fork in my thigh.

[@horse_dog]

that sounds very painful

[@lparkwayl525]

Do you sharpen your forks??? Or did you really go that hard trying to stab those fuckin Doritos? FORKS ARENT SHARP IM SO CONFUSED!

[@joshschwalm3627]

This comment just made my night thank you

[@TurntSingleCab]

Eek

[@yaotzinxochitiotzi5613]

The same thing happened to my little sister, she wanted to eat her apple on a fork like the ones they sell in Mexico. She was holding the apple and just stabbed it with a plastic fork, she stabbed the part in between her tumb and index finger. I can't imagine the pain.

[@Halo3machenima]

We need a "DickeyDines Story Time" where you guys just tell some hilarious stories of your own.

[@fencingisb]

Nightshade story gaming

[@gabrielsworld4385]

Call it, dickeytimes show

[@MichaelD8393]

I agree!

[@salvatorevulcano2427]

Story gaming. It’s from years ago

[@Halo3machenima]

@Tre Turner Dude, I didn't fucking know about it a year ago.

[@AnemicLeechC00M4L07]

"Who goes to someones house, and then realizes i dont know anyone here, and then just decides to get really drunk?" Me . I do that.

[@MrUrklasd]

I did it at a board game club once. We had finished recording an audition tape for a masterclass, and ended going to have fun, drink etc. My collegues invited me to play board games at some club, but most of their friends i didn't know, so i drank to the point of not caring who the other friends were. We never introduced ourselves, and if they don't care who i am, then i don't neither. Fun times.

[@thexskating]

😂😂😂😂

[@thatoneguyulove4791]

I really enjoy the way they just seem like they're having a proper conversation and not just talking to the camera

[@GREATLORDWHITE]

Lol their stories were better than the facebook ones

[@mazeoftorment805]

they always are 😂

[@lukecarodrums]

The delivery is GOLDEN

[@jameswatson4394]

My thoughts

[@SparksHardcoreMusic]

I wanna hear the drunk story about whoever's job it was to focus the camera lol.

[@jessemurray2236]

after 32 bud lite, yager, shine, and Carona most people would be dead from alcohol poisoning

[@timwhitnart2355]

Depends on the time frame. It could easily be accomplished within a day

[@HighGuy69]

Well, not this guy apparently

[@a.t.8013]

Jesse Murray most beers I drink in a night is 16 or 17. Maybe accompanied by 2 or 3 shots. If the tables are turned. I go 8 to 10 shots with 3 to 5 beers. Either way thats my limit and it’s to much haha

[@a.t.8013]

Logan Hilderbrand you’re actually not wrong. People who can slam a shit load of alcohol that start way early, can drink so much by the end of the day

[@ghoulishgam3r508]

Me and a friend both drank 30+ beers one night and a few shots. All about your tolerance, your size, and the timeframe. This was over a 4 hour period.

[@olivermace666]

The first time I got drunk I cried about Layne staley dying... that was 6 months ago

[@LogiBear59]

Oliver Mace Honestly, I wouldn’t blame you for crying about that.

[@damiansconberg4715]

I've done that without being drunk and wasn't born when he was alive

[@WarmthReceding]

dude same, except I, was fucked up over Kurt and I wasn't even born when he died. He has influenced me so much, and I was wasted this year.

[@ThatOneKid485]

Jared's out here lookin' like Dr. Evil with that jacket

[@knsjrkkahle8485]

My worst drunken accident. Aimlessly scrolling through youtube and stumbling across the dickeydines show

[@Alwayssorrybrand]

Knsjrk Kahle A surprise to be sure but a welcome one

[@knsjrkkahle8485]

Haha yeah these guys are cool. Lots of talent. Happy new years Djents

[@hatredcadaver5148]

Knsjrk Kahle lmaooooo

[@thunderballz74]

Knsjrk Kahle My worst drunk incident me and a friend had been drinking crown & coke all day with our boss. We decided we needed more beer. We staggered to my friends car and I was in and out of consciousness when I came around the last time my friend had passed out. I seen grass from the edge of the road and I tried to correct us back to the road. We were doing about 65 and we swerved and the front end dug in and we flipped 7 times. It slung me out of the passenger window and friend went through the back glass. I hit a tree and broke my collar bone and bruised my entire back. My friend went face first through barbed wire fence and into a big tree he crushed his cheek bones and all around his eyes shattered 3 vertebrae and broke his arm. Yeah that was a horrible night!

[@billierichardson6844]

This basically became "let's tell our drunk stories" 😂😂

[@mikaylamyers3920]

I love that they have been uploading everyday. It gives me something to live for.

[@therevolution91]

Mikayla Myers We could bunk tha crap out of our souls meanwhile. Would even be healthy. Oh: I didn't that you are twelve. Have a nice 2018!!!

[@LakotaMan]

Nicolas Balint, what the hell?

[@imgoingberserk5918]

+Nicolas Balint Nigga what

[@TheHive616]

+Mikayla Myers Well, I hope you found some backup things to live for, cause they certainly haven't been uploading every day recently. And this is when we need them most!

[@malcolmdevlin3434]

I was once so drunk i thought I invented mixing Rum and Coke thought Id make millions

[@st.clemonsacademy2410]

Malcolm Devlin 😂 😂 😂 😂 🤣

[@haitaline]

after enough patreons will the videos start being in focus?

[@sommersjagoe6941]

meo. The cameraman was also drinking

[@chasenasty5646]

skated an hour to my old elementary school, went into the woods and pulled probably a third of a bottle of whiskey out my bag, drank all of it while free bird was blaring in my headphones, began begging for money on the street, and when an old lady told me no i told her to go burn in hell in the most depressed drunk voice ever, eventually i get two dollars so i can buy a mcchicken at the mcdonald’s, walked to the rite aid right next to the mcdonald’s and asked if the cashier was giving out free hugs and i got the dirtiest look ever, got a hug from the lady in line instead, then as she was driving away i told her i was looking for love and she said her husband would kill her (i’m fifteen and this chick is atleast 40, not even attractive), then i went over to the middle school, which had summer school going on, so i said fuck yea and walked into the school, where i quickly got kicked out, but before getting kicked out i made sure one of the teachers knew that i thought she was cute, walked the river home, and that was that. thats all i remember from that day, probably some more fuck shit went down 😂😂

[@holycow7437]

Chasin'TheGameDungeon jesus

[@donaldthescotishtwin]

You walked a river back home?

[@rhdrbob]

I call horse shit.

[@chasenasty5646]

@@donaldthescotishtwin the river connected to a park closer to my house, so from park to park basically

[@chasenasty5646]

@@rhdrbob 100% true

[@NevermindHDx]

More drunk stories please 😂😂😂🤘🤘🤘

[@MichaelD8393]

Yes indeed. I got a good one that I missed telling this time.

[@cableboxcal3337]

“To me that would be the scariest thing” Me: “yeah waking up on the roof would be-“ “Waking up naked” Me: “yeah, that’s what I was gonna say.”

[@wingnutmcspazatron3957]

4:00 a fucking top-tier, S-grade joke that fell on completely deaf ears. Just look at the grin he puts on before he cracks it, too. RIP

[@trinabitchhh23]

One time recently I went out to the lake on my friend’s yacht with a bunch of people and we were drinking having a good time when us girls decided that we wanted to go get on the very top of the yacht where you can lay out and tan or sometimes we go up there and dance. Well the only way to get up/down is by climbing the huge windshield which is sloped so it can be tricky. My friend was super drunk and went to go walk down the windshield to get down but she accidentally spilt her drink down it which essentially turned it into a water slide , her feet slipped out from under her and she landed on her butt and slid all the way down like a slip n slide hahaha and it gets better- her swim suit bottoms got caught on the top trim of the windshield when she slipped and they ripped off so she slide down with no pants all the way down 😂😂😂Lmao I’m still dying laughing . The guys who were inside the yacht said that they just heard a loud BOOM and then see a bare ass sail down the windshield haha

[@tonyt.641]

"who goes to someones house, not knowing anyone there, and decides to get really drunk" honestly, i would

[@dirtcobain7777]

@@diosrightcalfmuscle4090 Exactly.

[@ashleyhester4049]

Not me ... Thats scary they could be crazy or serial killers

[@tonyt.641]

AShley Hester coming back to this two years later.. nah, I wouldn’t

[@ashleyhester4049]

@@tonyt.641 Lmao actually you just did ..... So um yea. But anyways it was my first time being here and watching this so. Sorry i offended you lol

[@tonyt.641]

AShley Hester only house I’ve broken into was my own because I forgot to lock the door skrrt skrrt

[@guilianosciarrotta6696]

Missed these story videos so much. You never told us the story of the Elmo vocal breakdown

[@nothingelse4643]

When i was like 15 a friend and i went home from a party and my friend ditch, ran into the woods, layed down and began to sleep. I followed him and said we had to get back on track (we were both drunk as hell btw). I live in a very rural area,and it was dark so I had no idea were we were. When i put up my lamp at my phone, i saw that we were in the dryed out swamp of our region. Its one of the biggest swamps in europe, and everything looked the same. Since my friend was asleep and i was drunk as hell, we were suck there for about 4 hours before the sun rose and we found a way back. Was one of the most exiting days in my life when i look back at it now.

[@koaliia1390]

Juice the moose.

[@joshwhitty7024]

Joose the Moose

[@GoganLiezbrecht]

@@joshwhitty7024 Joose the muise

[@blckspce7683]

Austin: Vodka forest sperm shit. Jared: **dying of laughter**

[@hatredcadaver5148]

Within the first 10 seconds, I was already cackling... This is going to be good 😂

[@wirelesscarrion6886]

I was depressedly drinking myself to sleep and I ended up fighting a nearby closet. I woke up with bleeding knuckles and the closet was a mess. Don’t drink underage, for your own sakes.

[@Loveventing]

First thing to watch when I wake up, pretty happy about it.

[@hcazi4141]

jareds laugh makes me laugh everytime

[@fatboysgarage7984]

The funniest thing that ever happened to me was at my best friend's 21st birthday. I had 9 cups of jungle juice, 5 caronas and a 5th of vodka. My best friend's mom finally cut me off around midnight and 3 in the morning I drunk texted my mother 'leave me alone' but since it was mother's day so she took it as me texting her happy mother's day. In the morning I woke up in a tent half naked with no hangover. Plus I texted my boyfriend and his other boyfriend (which I didn't know about at the time) 'hello cunty mccunt'.

[@angelwitch1313]

that’s fucking WILD

[@SlyHikari03]

Being Drunk and High while also thinking an Advert is Fallout gameplay is absolutely mental. How does that happen..

[@slyven2999]

You NEED Juice The Moose merch

[@forlornforestofficial9086]

I ended up getting so drunk and I thought a man with lisp had a British accent. I complimented him on his accent several times throughout the night. That man lives in Wisconsin...

[@samh6182]

"But why are you so dumb"- Austin Dickey

[@caffeinatedinsanity2324]

10:00 he was probably too drunk to count properly back then, haha. 32 bud lights is indeed too much

[@severalsedrack]

Do reddit 50/50, m8s

[@severalsedrack]

For real

[@Strattus19]

I support this

[@o00thunderhawk00o]

wut is this?

[@severalsedrack]

A youtube video m8

[@lukaz20001]

It's basically a fifty/fifty chance of seeing something harmless, or seeing something that will make you scream your lungs out and willingly bleach your eyes.

[@freebilly9526]

One time I got super drunk with my best friend and then told him I was done and started walking down the road. He text me and asked where I was going. I said home. We were drinking at my house.

[@GreasySwayze]

I know its three years late, but this one time I was drinking at the pub with my mom and brother. We were there all afternoon until 10pm or 11pm when it was quite crowded. By 9pm I was on the verge of blacking out and I needed to use the bathroom so I walked down the stairs to where the bathroom was. When I was done I walked back up, and I looked at my brother and walked out the door to the seating area to leave then I walked back in through the entrance of the pub not even a minute later and I sat next to my brother then said to him "Holy FUCK, I am pretty drunk" and he let out the loudest laugh because he was wondering where I was going.

[@НикитаЛубин]

Heck Yeah, half an hour episode of DDShow in the New Years' Eve

[@_Noctifer]

10:34 i love how jared just goes "oh, okay" here

[@3n0d1a]

Once I got so wasted when hanging out with my friend that apparently I hung out her window and had a full conversation with the neighbors about whether they existed or not

[@tyrinparks9429]

Did you ever find out if they did? 😂

[@GoganLiezbrecht]

Was your neighbor christopher lee's ghost

[@genericyoutubechannel3790]

@@GoganLiezbrecht damn. If only I could have a conversation with Christopher Lee's ghost

[@GoganLiezbrecht]

@@genericyoutubechannel3790 dude i would kill for that. Literally

[@PhantomLantern2814]

The only drunk story I have didn’t even involve me drinking. Me and my buddy went over to another friends house and he was passed out on the couch, lights off, bottle of Jack in his hand. My buddy had the bright idea to scare him awake by shoving his chest. Other friend jolts awake, thinks we’re robbers, and immediately rushes us. I had to grab his shoulders and calm him down and then he started hugging me.

[@krakrocks3324]

this is by far my favorite video you guys have ever done.....I LOVE the long videos....i feel like im sitting there having a conversation with yall. please continue to make long ones.

[@vladiacrow2898]

I absolutely love these stories of yours. I forgot about the rest of the video and was just happily sitting here listening to your stories. That raccoon story tho XD

[@doseofdisappointment8700]

The fucking popcorn and mister killed me😂😂😂😂

[@DelicExorcist]

Wait but I talk to myself in different voices when I'm sober. Oh no

[@IanOnTheDL]

The story about your friend Jeff gets me every time

[@jorgefreer6780]

So many new DickeyDines vids lately, and I'm loving it!

[@popedeavones6199]

I was once so drunk after a LARP event I spanked a viking and bit a goblin who was the dd. I only remember the Viking dude and not biting the Goblin girl. I also spent a while searching through a small Midwestern town looking for another drunk guy in the snow. When we were leaving I was defending (screaming) about another guy's fetishes.

[@diosrightcalfmuscle4090]

Pope Deavones you goddamn hero

[@alexsandler8682]

Super video! I applauded for $2.00 👏

[@overcomecookie8767]

This channel is the best thing that happened in the recent year

[@eliasrocha2435]

Thank you for the consistent uploads and the 30 min vid XD

[@arkonraavus21]

Is it just me or is the vid out of focus?

[@thetrainsrock]

its out of focus

[@DamianFPV]

That bothed me the entire time

[@guts2657]

It was probably just a mistake but i like to think it's a video about drunk stories where the camera/viewer is drunk as well

[@CTCRShadowboy]

^LMAO

[@1Myojin]

i think it focused on the wall

[@Ягоржусьтемчтоявляюсьрусским]

Im Irish if i get 2 drunk i start speaking swedish and Danish to languages i can speak very badly

[@dailysonlier8685]

Anti Mcloughlin I am Danish and if I get too drunk I start speaking English with an Irish accent. One time, when I got hammered in Dublin, I was asked where from Northern Ireland I was from

[@Ягоржусьтемчтоявляюсьрусским]

Dailyson Lier oh damn that must of been a time u will never forget im Russian with a bit of Irish in me 😂 i got Drunk at home in Moscow and i started to speak Korean and Irish

[@dailysonlier8685]

Amazøøing

[@rileybrown1605]

Plow a cow, rattle the cattle, rail a whale

[@Junkheadd375]

Probably one of the funniest videos on this channel 🤣

[@arininquotes8396]

We definitely need a "hilarious stoned stories" too tbh

[@muumi7025]

#focusgoals

[@GeorgeLifterMann]

Love that Reflections hoodie!

[@cosmosdtd3625]

It is no longer a matter of how much alcohol is in Austin's blood, it is how much blood is in Austin's alcohol.

[@culpa3034]

Once when i was Drunk i took stones from churchwalls ( you know that stuff around the actuall building ) and i decided to build my own Church .... didnt went that well

[@naruumskie]

Please never fix the camera focus. I love the crisp look of the wall. Love you guys :*

[@colelang0572]

Loving all the new dickey dines content you guys kick shit and that's rad

[@alexanderdenchev7967]

My worst night was about 3 years ago at a coworker's birthday party. I had the late shift (till 22:30) and went straight to the party. I drank and drank and a buddy of mine who I was supposed to share a taxi with, started begging me to leave. I told him that this would be my last drink that I do and we would go then. He fell asleep, I kept drinking and that's all I remember. Afterwards he told me how upon going home, I tried to fight 2 taxi drivers, bit him on the neck, punched him a few times and spooked some other driver who left with the car doors open. Also I apparently almost fell to my death as I went to take a piss from the 7th floor balcony of my dorm.

[@mattladuke3992]

Y'all are degenerates! I've only peed outside when drunk. Get it together 😂😂😂😂 love the stories though 😂😂❤

[@itsgrzlyszn]

I remember going to this party one time and I wasn't really planning on getting that drunk but this dude handed me a screwdriver I was like fuck it, I'm not driving. I drank like a quarter of it and I was just completely shitfaced. A friend of mine asked what I drank and I was like a screwdiver and he goes "I ran out of orange juice a while ago, I just came back from the store" and I was like what the fuck did I drink then? He looked in my cup and goes "You drank pure vodka with some orange peels in it " after that I passed out on the bench in the backyard

[@dwdesign2873]

Wtf I didn't see the post on fb._. I had a bottle of pure Russian vodka and was completely loaded.. I don't remember much but I know it ended with my doing a swan dive naked into someone's backyard pool

[@the.archang3l]

Block Dude 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@shogun8808]

You guys should ask-whats the dumbest/craziest thing you've ever seen at a show?

[@caffeinatedinsanity2324]

If you ask me... I was a benevolent at a small venue and Pennywise was playing (people were pretty intense), and there was a dude disguised in It (or Pennywise the clown) and people took pictures with him. When THERE WAS KIDS in this show. I found that to be pretty funny, but some others that I spoke to got offended pretty hard.

[@TheKorfish]

23:28 I used to mess with people at my college saying I lived far away then when I was literally across the street.

[@thevanessarosette]

Congrats on 200k!

[@landonbesserman2503]

“Exorcise her” fast do 20 pull ups

[@st.clemonsacademy2410]

First*

[@liamwallace6834]

I remember when I was in 3rd grade my grandpa would always eat vanilla ice cream with peaches and fireball and he told me to try the fireball (it was a full shot in a room full of adults and none of them thought to stop him) and I took the shot and I have on and off memory of what happened but I remember nearly passing out on the couch

[@chrismoore7882]

"A wank in the smoking hut" bahahaha

[@milocabral7428]

I see these all as an absolute win

[@Johnfromthedesert]

Austin did a great cosplay of a Nintendo Switch in this video. 👍

[@pandajmj]

Man I would love to see some more edits and stuff put into these. Like zoom ins, effects, funny sound effects. I feel like those would make these even better to watch considering they're already fucking hilarious. Just a thought to consider

[@stephencholette1067]

2006 New Years party. Got so drunk I was stuck walking home at a 90 degree angle. I just couldn't.

[@dylanrudd7584]

I’m hoping to make one of these memories tonight in New Year’s Eve 🤘🏻

[@DrummerCAS]

I once heard of a guy that did party in Copenhagen which is east side of Denmark and woke up in a barn in Jutland (west side of Denmark - approx. 300km east). - don't train ride when too drunk..

[@19ThreeLions97]

This first party where i got totally drunk, lived 30 km away in countryside and someone's very sleepy dad drove me home. Still had 5 km to walk and fell asleep at the side of a road, woke up on my two feet, bc a car passed, it was already early morning. Lost my phone case on the road too. Ayy.

[@MichaelD8393]

13:07-23:13 Story time with Jared & Austin 😂

[@QuantumPlaysOfficial]

these videos are becoming my new crack

[@tobyfalling4153]

We need more of this

[@207HappyToBeHere]

This video was pretty awesome, and if you wouldn't mind.. Please bring back story gaming😆

[@wmgreen00]

power drive gaming Yes please

[@thinklater113]

This video is a half hour long because they talk about themselves not the comments for like 15 minutes. And it’s hilarious! 😂😂

[@rylanhudson9319]

One time I was super drunk (and Stoned) and I was about to leave and stay at my buddies house, I was only 15 at the time so I couldn’t drive. He asked me to start the car tho so he could do something, he was sober.. I was not. I tried putting the key in, missed, dropped the key and gave myself a concussion by slamming my head into something on the car trying to grab it and passed out and slid on the concrete. I usually don’t remember drunk stories but I sure as hell will never forget that

[@thebarefootdrummer6375]

I saw someone throat up everywhere trip and fall on the ground after drinking mad dog

[@matthewhonnor]

I was at a house party one time, and my mate was going to grab some more alcohol from the shop round the corner. I asked him to buy me some melons and he said “no.”. For some reason I started crying about not being able to have any mangos. Afterwards me and my mate convinced each other to steal the neighbour’s “for sale” sign (which took a lot of covert movements and runs to cover) and then joust with said sign and a bin lid we stole from another house

[@dylangoede1805]

Jared’s laugh is the best!!

[@FabulouslyTerrifyingEnt]

A family friend got me drunk for the first time when I was 18 to celebrate me becoming a dad. My at the time, fiance, now wife, recorded a video of me off of my phone of me being blackout drunk and stoned off my ass. It's embarrassing as hell but such a great memory. I was never a person to party, so he wanted me to have the experience "before it was too late." To be fair, it was a fun night.

[@SuperFunny1111]

The back seat thing i relate too we left my drunk friend passed out in my friends trunk after going to the club one night most of us were tipsy and we got over halfway to our dorms before we remembered he was in the trunk

[@iamdeath5297]

One time I got so drunk I blacked out and woke up in another town . The craziest part is i didn't have a car at the time so I'm guessing I walked on foot to another town that was 10 miles away

[@Metalweld]

My birthday is New Years Eve and on my 18th, my cousins' threw a party. They had a keg and other alcohol there. So I went there and started drinking as much as I could as fast I could. Smoked a few bowls as well. So later, I'm sitting on the couch, and an overwhelming wave of nausea comes over me. I think "I'm going to go outside and do what I have to do." Unfortunately for myself and a poor lady, I stood yp, said "I don't feel good," then proceeded to projectile a load of beer/Sloppy Joe vomit all over her rack. Right in front of all of my cousins and friends. After that, I just remember feeling like I killed the party. Everyone booked to go somewhere else. Next thing I know, it's the morning of Jan 1st, with no one but me and my bro there. I cleaned the floor and coffee table as best I could out of respect for my cousins.

[@Mnm_94]

I'm just now seeing this, but this made my day. Yall seem like awesome guys to fuckin party with.

[@kimkinney425]

I'm still waiting for a "Juice the Moose" t-shirt.

[@eyeball1999]

Me and a friend of mine were so drunk after 4 fifths of Jack 3 years ago. We decided to go to a local restaurant to go eat. Everything seems normal at first but we came there with no money. We came along with our longboards (barely able to ride) and as soon as we found out we had no money we ran out of the restaurant. The whole time we made a sad attempt to escape we were running (barely able to to so as well). It was 98 degrees out with very hot humidity in Northern Michigan. We were tired, dehydrated and just fucked. So we decided to take our shirts and wrap them around our heads like isis, and had the brilliant idea to ride our longboard on our bellies all the way home 2 mile trip while pushing ourselves with our arms. It was fucked

[@dre6622]

I bet if i ever get drunk i would be the super emotional one and crying in the bathroom😂😂😂

[@azun_djlimir9473]

JUICE THE MOOSE

[@zombiegodown5663]

Ima be honest this is the first time I’ve ever been drunk and i like it

[@raycecawley9933]

11:05 “fle fle just like two good just like cle cle”

[@monke148]

I got drunk and started watching the flash, i tought i was the flash and started running in my room