Enneagram Type Mistakes: Unveiling the Power of Your WHY

[@enneagramandcoaching]

💻Need to book a typing session? www.enneagramandcoaching.com/discover-your-type 👋Say Hello on Instagram! instagram.com/enneagramandcoaching/ ✨Subscribe for more videos every week! kzbin.info

[@francesca.pellegrino]

My 9w1 partner said he misses your Confessions of a Type 9. It helps me understand him better, and he feels comforted to know that someone else (you) understands him so well on this level. As always, a great video!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thank you Francesca! I miss doing them! Let him know I will get a new one out soon!

[@Rich-wi7dn]

Type 9 here. Before I ever knew anything about the Enneagram, the item at the top of my bucket list was being at peace.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Love this. ❤️

[@lorrielee885]

Yes! So ready for 2 videos a week!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yay!!! Thanks Lorrie!

[@_linlin_]

I am a type 7, albeit socially ambieverted. I test as 5, 8,2 and 1 the most. My major (medicine) is very oriented towards organisation and learning so I look like a 1, me wanting to help people looks like 2 and my anxiety makes me very easily irritable that can look like unhealthy 8 and lastly 5 because when in pain/stress I gather even more knowledge than I usually do so I don't feel my pain and can be more closed off due to circumstances.

[@benjaminfast5496]

I've been confused on my type for such a long time. I generally bounce between 4, 7 & 9. It's interesting though, that I really related to the 5 in this video. I think I can relate to aspects of each of these types, but there are also things I don't relate to. Type 4: I can be sensitive and emotional, struggle with identity, and feel very withdrawn at times. I can be more "feminine" for a guy, and a bit artsy, but I'm not super artistic (skill-wise.) What I struggle with is how they are seen as moody and melancholic and even emo/gothic. I have my down days, but generally I'm easy going and don't get down on life. I certainly struggle with high-energy people, but also struggle with really dark and depressing people. I'm very affected by the energy of others. I am good at being happy for others when they succeed, but I also compare myself to others as well and notice when I'm missing something that seems to come naturally to them. I often can feel less of myself when I'm around some people, and so sometimes I prefer to be alone so I can just not worry about how I match up to others. When I'm alone I'm actually very happy. I can watch a tv show and be moved to tears. I've even played an RPG and cried if the storyline is well done. I'm not afraid to show my emotions, and others have described me as a drama queen at times. Lol. Type 5: I have always thought I was an extrovert, and most people perceive me that way. I don't really get drained by people, unless again their energy is of either extreme. However, I am perfectly fine being home and pursuing my own interests. I'm usually watching TV, or grinding through a video game. But I can also really dig into the research of something of interest. I related to the why of "feeling overwhelmed by their own needs, as well as the needs of others." I'm fairly independent (until crap hits the fan and I need my parents or something to help me out financially). But the thought of everyone clinging to me for help and constantly wanting me services sounds exhausting to me. I'm there for my friends I feel I can help, but when I'm alone, I'm generally not thinking about other people. I'm usually getting lost in my own activities. Type 7: I don't really like to be bored, but I'm also not usually bored as I have a lot of hobbies to keep my mind stimulated. I don't necessarily dwell on negative emotions, but I also don't escape them like 7s do. I'm a lot more grounded than most of the 7s I know, but I also look forward to things in the future. Though, I don't really make big plans like trips and stuff, it's usually like a new video game or the premiere of one of my favourite TV shows, or a hang out with friends that I look forward to. One of my close friends is a 7 (sx/so) and she is very high energy, positive all the time, and always talking about the next big thing we could do. I struggle to meet her level of energy and optimism. Type 9: I really struggle with sloth. I am very lazy and struggle to get motivated to do chores and other adult responsibilities. I can easily get lost in a hobby and lose track of time. Perform a task that uses little energy is optimal for me. I don't really enjoy conflict and I generally keep my opinions to myself to not ruffle feathers, but I do often have strong opinions. That being said, I don't dance around people to avoid conflict, and I can get blunt at times. I also get really worked up over stuff and can get loud to the point where people have to tell me to lower my voice (keep in mind this isn't directed at people, it may be just getting passionate about a hobby.) I can't imagine there are too many nines out there that have to be told to keep their voices down (they're probably the ones asking others to do so, lol.) While I really want peace of mind and harmony in my environment, and can usually see many other perspective for conflict resolution, the fear of separation from others doesn't resonate with me. Like I said before, I can isolate from others for days and feel detached from everything. When I'm with you in person, I am present though. Part of me wonders if I'm an anomaly. An extroverted 5w4. Generally when I get impulsive its when I'm not in a healthy state of mind and am trying to numb some pain, and the 5 goes to 7 in stress. Also, a 5 goes to an 8 in health, and that could explain why when I'm doing well I can get more driven and bold. It's just so confusing because 5 is usually not one of my top 5 test results and some many people describe them as introverts. Not sure if anyone will read all of this, but if you do and want to provide some insight, I'd gladly welcome it! :)

[@bridielawler3474]

Hey! So I came across your videos in a time of crisis lol - I was having a bit of an identity crisis about which enneagram I was. Basically it is a goal in life for me to benefit the world through knowledge and understanding, which confused me to what was my actual motivation. I also didn't fit into the 5 stereotypes of being cold and purely intellectual so that made me even more confused. But watching a bunch of your videos made me realise that while the legacy I want to create is someone who has created positive change, my reasons and motivations in life is to understand and be competent and capable. Also finding out that I was an sx really helped me discover why I was such an non-stereotypical 5. So thank you!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

I'm so glad you did! Love the legacy you want to leave!

[@Chells_Bells]

Thank you so much for this video - it’s exactly what I needed! I kept coming back to the same type, but then I would get hung up on some of the general personality traits that don’t fit. But when it comes down to the core, I’m definitely a type 1! I’m just a type 1 who is very neat and organized at work, but not at home. I’m pretty sure I’m a 1w9, but I haven’t decided between self preservation or social yet.

[@francesca.pellegrino]

Congratulations!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

You are so welcome! I am so happy it helped you 😃

[@ramennoodles6473]

Same thing with me only with type 7.

[@rebeccawoods4488]

This was very helpful! Thank you, Hillary!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

You are so welcome!❤️

[@kylewood9078]

I'm a 5w6 and my best friend is a 6w5, will you make a video about the similarities and differences?

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Absolutely!!! Thanks for the idea!

[@julie_marc]

Yes, pretty please ! :) I’m pretty sure I’m a 6w5 but not 100% certain, I could be a 5w6. I would love to hear about the differences between the two.

[@zanyryan6417]

@@enneagramandcoaching in fact, do a whole series for every type (1w2 vs 2w1; 2w3 vs 3w2; 3w4 vs 4w3; etc)

[@kristinrooney-erb501]

This solidified me as a three type four. Thanks!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Glad it helped!

[@Maja-sv9we]

Yay! I'd love to see two videos a week!! That'd be awesome! This video was really helpful, thx! I was beginning to question whether I wasn't a nine rather than a two. The two types, in my opinion, appear to be very similar! (I'd love a video on that btw!) This really helped me and assured me that I am - indeed - a two! 😆 Love the videos, as always! 😄👍

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thank you Maja!!! That’s a great idea! I will do a video on the Type 9 vs the Type 2. Thanks! So happy my videos help you ❤️

[@deannamartin6116]

This helped me a lot thank you so much

[@enneagramandcoaching]

You are so welcome!

[@icanrelate]

I love your videos. They're informative, concise and enjoyable to watch. I'm not a fan of videos that get cheesy and silly...😬💜 your enneagram videos are my favorite...💜

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Wow, thank you!

[@kennysibarani5200]

This video is sooo helpful! I'm a Type 2, but my role in the family, there is an expectation of me to be an Achiever (Type 3) and a Leader (Type 8, perhaps?) so online tests would give me 3 or 8. It turns out, I have been repressing a lot of my needs to fulfill that expectations, but the reason I work so hard to fulfill that expectation is actually to feel loved and appreciated by the people I care about :'-)

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Awww I love that you have figured your why out! Great job!

[@katherinepeters4607]

The simplicity of this was helpful!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yay! I am so glad!

[@user-in2xn4xc4i]

I identified myself as a nine as soon as I learned the enneagram...but it is true I felt like many other types so I am still confused. However, because I have the ability to move towards 6 and 3 it actually make sense that I am a nine regardless of the confusion.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

❤️❤️❤️

[@nelliejeanbluegrass2485]

I love all of your videos, if you schedule 2 a week I will watch them both! :)

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yay! Thank you!

[@nelliejeanbluegrass2485]

@@enneagramandcoaching 😀 you’re welcome!

[@ivram9965]

I don’t thin 9 it’s only about losing relationship, but i think it’s about losing what’s is important to them, and relationships is one of those important things.

[@anitadodd]

I am deciding if I am a 9, 2, or 4 and I do not feel like a "Peacemaker" deep down, but I have A LOT of type 9 tendencies. You say that type 9's can identify as every other type but sometimes not their own type. Do you think that is becuase of the anger component of gut types, and the passive-aggressive component? We know all of our thoughts and motivations and sometimes it does not fit with the peacmaker description.

[@13thravenpurple94]

Thank you so much 💜💜💜 i am 5w4 SpSx if i may request can you make a video regarding on ways to overcome the core fears of my type? 🙏🙏🙏

[@francesca.pellegrino]

That's a good idea! But I know that I will probably roll my eyes when it gets to the 8, because either I'm going to say, "no way that's happening" or "but I already do this?"

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Great suggestion! I will work on this!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂😂😂

[@ranikster9955]

Love your work. I have been a little bit confused lately and stuck between 4w5 and 6w5. But I can see now that I am a 6w5 🤔

[@coconutmilch2351]

the core WHYs of all nine types is the same as the core belief of the type seven. i know this isn't what's taught in the community; but logically speaking, what is so bad or scary about not being loved/accepted/successful/wrong/incompetent...etc? it's "bad" because for some reason, it FEELS bad. all fear is a fear of feeling. and all fear of feeling is a fear of feeling some type of way you don't enjoy. so when it comes to CORE WHYs, CORE DRIVEs...etc, everyone is /essentially/ a 7 it's just that each type thinks there is something that must be obtained in order to feel good. acceptance, security..etc. in reality, we need a little bit of each of these things--which is probably why a healthy person exhibits good qualities of all types--but it seems as though we can get hung up on one specific thing that *seems* particularly important

[@Dani-my3qj]

Ooh, what a cool thought! Out of curiosity, are you a seven? As a one, myself, I’ve specifically always had a hard time relating to seven, so this really helped me understand a 7’s viewpoint more! Thank you! I think I might actually be able to offer a good counterpoint to this as someone who’s always had a hard time seeing the world from a 7’s perspective. I’m not an expert on the enneagram, so don’t take my thoughts as facts, though, haha. For me, I’m not concerned with how I feel at all. I’m not scared to feel bad, and in fact, a lot of the time I don’t even notice my feelings, because I just don’t have (or make) time for them. At the core, they are just not important to me. My concern is the impact I’m having on the world. Ones specifically fear being wrong in a moral sense, not just making mistakes. So when you say what’s so bad/scary about being wrong, it’s that morally wrong is a synonym for bad. Disconnected from feelings, it’s bad to be bad. I don’t fear feeling bad about being bad - I just fear being bad. I don’t care how it makes me feel. If that makes sense, haha. I think you’re right in the sense that every type wants to avoid feeling bad. But I would also argue that sevens are the only ones whose WHY is rooted in the fear of feelings - they make their choices to actively avoid negative emotions. Other types make choices to actively avoid different things; The desire to avoid negative feelings isn’t every type’s driving factor in their actions. Ex: My sister is a four, and she actively appreciates and finds beauty in her negative emotions. She would never avoid feeling bad, because it’s an important part of who she is. She’s not scared to feel bad, she’s scared to not be true to herself. She needs to be authentic and genuine in who she is, or else she doesn’t even exist. It’s not a concern to not feel bad; It’s a concern to exist as who she is, bad feelings and all. For her, it wouldn’t be a fear of feeling bad because she’s not true to herself, it would be a fear of being nothing at all, which is detached from feelings, if that makes sense. Basically, I agree that nobody wants to feel bad, and all people can try to avoid negative emotions, but I would argue that a fear of feeling bad isn’t the driving factor behind everyone’s actions, and that’s the difference between seven’s WHY and every other type’s. I hope that makes sense...? It’s hard to convey in words, haha.

[@francesca.pellegrino]

Interesting perspective. Re-parsing it in this way shows that you've thought about this long and hard. I've been thinking a lot about how there's definitely some kind of symmetry to the enneagram, but I haven't quite figured out how it makes sense yet.

[@joris2982]

Happiness

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Hmmm...This gives me lots to think about. I love how deep you are going. Thank you for sharing your perspective. ❤

[@karbear04]

yay!! Im looking forward to more videos from you. I'm interested in parenting according to your enneagram number, and how we can overcome blind spots we have. I know we dont want to type our kids, but also if we have a suspicion, what is the best way to affirm and discipline each number as a child? There is not a whole lot of advice to find on this. Blind spots are also a little confusing, as Ive heard it is the weak part of your healthy number but also Ive heard it is the parts your natural state number avoids... so I'm a little confused there. I am also looking for more info on sp/soc/sx and how we can tell what we are. You have made vids on this before but I am still not 100% understanding how it works (can you tell I am a type 5? haha). Thanks again! I love your videos because they are so easy to digest. I'm looking forward to whatever you have in store!

[@francesca.pellegrino]

I second hearing more about blind spots. Also, if you can access the unhealthy side of your growth number, does that suggest that you can access the healthy side of your stress number? I feel like I access a healthy 5 more often than an unhealthy 2, but, it's called a blindspot for a reason, so maybe that's not true!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yes! I am working on some parenting according to your enneagram number! Love all your ideas! I am writing them down :) Thank you for sharing!

[@CrystallynRose]

So I've been binging your videos and have enjoyed them quite a bit. Since I've been binging them, one thing I've really noticed is that you seem to move your decorations around a lot. As someone who almost never moves their decorations around, I'm kinda amazed at how often you rearrange stuff! Is this a 9 thing? I'm a type 4 and really into aesthetics and once I determine there's a perfect home for something, it almost never moves (unless I need to fit something new in somewhere).

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Agh! Guilty! 🙈 Yes, this can be a 9 thing. Here’s why I think I do it….I have lots of big projects I need to be working on and often feel overwhelmed by them so instead of working on them I do something I love and that’s easy which is moving furniture around and organizing things. 😂 thanks for binging my videos! Love that your enjoying them!!❤️

[@jenm762]

So if i relate to all of these "whys"...i feel like i am several of these mixed together...

[@melissatharpe2074]

Maybe book a typing session?

[@JeanMarcCapaul]

Topic: is there a pattern like most likely types for introverts / extroverts or maybe the other way round; most unlikely ones? P.s.: am an introvert for sure but still not sure about the right type

[@giulia3195]

I still don't know whether I'm a 4w5 or a 7w8. Not sure if those 2 types are very similar, but I can relate to both. I do feel different from most people, although is not something that I really wished for. I have this desire for the unconventional, something beyond that basic ordinary life. I want to see the world and I hate being held back, there's nothing more precious than my freedom. I consider myself a realist and 7s are known for their optimism, which makes me wonder if I'm actually a 4

[@sirine_99]

I am an 9w8 too 🙃💕

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Woot! Woot!

[@MatthewEaton]

It is a good thing I don't have anyone to worry about regarding their emotional needs. It is a peace and joy that I can personally enjoy to my heart's content. Yep... Just me, myself, and I... _takes swig of milk_ _quietly sobs mathematically_ You stay away from me, wing 4! I don't care if you're the Individualist!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@francesca.pellegrino]

*quietly sobs mathematically* Do the tears fall according to the Fibonacci Sequence? Now that I think about it, that's probably accurate of most people... One, then another, then a few more, and a few more, and more more, then more more more, and then it becomes ALL THE TEARS.

[@MatthewEaton]

@@francesca.pellegrino Bravo! Very funny indeed!

[@timhrim]

Am still having difficulty understanding the anger of a 9, shame of a 3 , and the fear of a 7. Ie, when will you see the shame of a 3 or when will you see the 7 afraid?

[@margaretjudice8944]

Great video! 2 a week would be good.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Sweet! Thanks!

[@tiny5663]

Okay, so I resonate with a 4w3 the most, but I'm also highly sensitive and hate conflict because I don't want people to dislike me. So does that put me with in a 9 or do I need more research? Idk help

[@GearheadExplorer85]

If someone is bothered by being forgotten or overlooked by others, is this more of a 2, 4, or 5 trait?

[@norakadas9007]

What are you bothered by being overlooked in? Are you self-sacrificing and trying hard to meet the needs of others which is being overlooked? Have you found new elements of yourself and your individuality and no one is taking notice? Are you finding new observations that are being overlooked? (Not an Enneagram coach btw)

[@elise3036]

I'm so stuck between 1 & 5. Help me, girl!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Watch my 10 signs you might be a type 1 & 5 ...I have both video's done and they would be some help to you!