ENNEAGRAM STANCES | Are you in the Aggressive Stance? Dependent Stance? Or the Withdrawn Stance?

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Hey guys! If you've been struggling to know your type this video can help with that. :)

[@jeremeyellis16]

0:39 - Overview of Stances 3:20 - Dependent Stance 4:12 - Aggressive Stance 5:04 - Withdrawn Stance 5:54 - Final thoughts

[@SparklesNJazz]

oof this is accurate. i’m a 4 and i don’t think i’ve starting to develop my “doing” until recently. i’m so in tune with my feelings and so used to overthinking everything that i’m often paralyzed.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

You have amazing self awareness!

[@dominiquecowens2826]

I have been digging deeper into the Enneagram for the past year and didn't even know about the Stances 👀 LOL. I'm a 3w2 (but I lean into the 4 wing very strongly) and immediately when you said 3's are the Aggressive Stance I resonated with it 😄. I find myself frequently saying something like, "I know this may feel like an aggressive goal but we can do it." I've been told that I'm aggressive but never felt that was true because I care deeply for people and want to see the best in them flourish. Now hearing that my "aggression" is more towards goals and not life/people itself brings a lot of clarity.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Love this. Thanks for sharing. Great insight.

[@ashleyching3166]

Wow, I'm new to stances!

[@RandolphTheWhite1]

The withdrawn types can be difficult to pin down. On the surface they look very similar. I thought I was a self preservation nine but ended up being a five. I realized this after noticing the disregard I seem to have when pointing out flaws in other people's belief systems, collecting the emotions involved with the activity to process them later. How am I supposed to know the difference; my only reference point is myself. This is why the enneagram is such a great tool. I feel it's unlikely I'd be able to make that kind of observation without access to this tool.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

This is so good and true! Thanks for sharing!

[@KatanaKamisama]

Stance seems like a really efficient tool to narrow down the options for a persons core. My top 3 were 5=98%, 8=92%, and 1=89% so I also have 1 of each. But since 5's go to 8 often, and the fact that I definitely default to withdraw, AND my primary wing is 4 which is also withdraw. As stated... I have a uh... high activation energy level. Meaning it takes a lot of motivation to get me to act. Often when I do act, it is to navigate an obstacle (8), or to re-establish my autonomy (1) or safety & security (6, my other wing). So I feel like everything lines up quite accurately, and everything I hear just helps reinforce the accuracy of my initial intuitive leap to land on type 5. I had to watch this vid most of the way through a 2nd time. Lots to unpack here. Enneagram is the multi-layer dip that just keeps giving new flavors and perspectives.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Yes! Love this. You bring great insight to the 5. And I agree it’s a multi layered dip...that’s a great way to look at it!

[@maribel5478]

just when I saw the % I was like that 5 analyzing

[@Journey1968]

Loved your 8 wing energy as well as the brightness and aesthetics of the room. I felt better within 3 seconds into your video😃 . Stances are awesome!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Awww thank you! ❤️

[@marywilliams8831]

It's very interesting. In the beginning, I wasn't sure if I was a 5 or 9. Then I was sure I was a 5. Now I'm torn between self-preservation 4 with a huge 5 wing or a 5 with a strong 4 wing. The stance explains these connection. Thanks. Again very interesting. 😁

[@NeerajKumar-qk9jt]

Woah, this was probably one of the most useful videos I've come across. 4 - 98% 5 - 96% 9 - 72% I have always been frustrated that I don't "do". Discovering that it's not my natural tendency, really helps. Thank you

[@mirandas_universe]

I have never heard of the stances before, everything makes so much more sense now!! thank you Hillary❤️

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Awesome! Love this!

[@briellewalker5654]

As a 5, I can say this is very accurate. Definitely relate to feeling like I do not fit in well, but Im comfortable with that now. Thankfully Ive gotten to the point I can work on my shortcomings and actually move to action. I tend to avoid others while I am working unless I know them well.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thanks for sharing your journey ❤️

[@karissahammond4587]

Thank you! This helped me. I didn't understand stances. I already knew I was a type four, but I /didn't/ realize that that explained why I tend to already feel like I'm lacking something important when I enter a room full of people. It's also good to realize that this is an internal thing I can work through by being more present, and that it's not actually some big obvious deficiency that everyone in a room can see when they look at me.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

You're so welcome!

[@himawari5844]

i do too :(

[@karissahammond4587]

@@himawari5844 *hugs*

[@coconutmilch2351]

i wish i had started watching your videos sooner -- YOU MAKE A LOT OF SENSE TO ME

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Love it!

[@robinorene]

This is so interesting & fascinating- thank you!

[@milaalaniva775]

Absolutely loved how informative this was. I have used the stances to decide between 2 and 3. I'm dutiful/compliant with a huge 3 wing.

[@milaalaniva775]

Also Suzanne Stabile's how 1, 2 and 6 chain was the deciding factor.

[@MatthewEaton]

Thank you! This came at a good moment and prodded me into a few actions I have been overthinking.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Wow! Awesome! Thank you for sharing!

[@Redberryfarm888]

This helps to clarify things and narrow down quite a bit to what my type really is. ( I can relate to most other types except for the 3's and 8's...- no offence to those persons! - which is a very 9 thing to do.) Under stress I withdraw inwards and think... having NO clue what to DO until I thought it through enough, which sounds more like a 5, to me. People and crowds just drain my batteries, which also sounds like a 5... yet the withdrawing isn't over my personal shortcomings... it is just overwhelming, seems very chaotic, and often is too much 'emotions'/feelings and talking things to death going on. (Eee-gads! Get me out of here!!!) Though some persons who are more easy going and not aggressive I can hang out with for days on end. (Ahhhhh... peaceful.) I DO have an inner critic like a 1 that seems to sit on my shoulder from my childhood teaching of the 'wrath of an angry God' who could never be pleased unless I was perfect... which - bless God -now I recognize from Scripture that was a VERY distorted view of the character of God. (His own 'Self-description' in Exodus 34: 6-7 is Truth... but fearing/respecting Him properly, obeying by faith His way/ rules of His household, and not testing Him is called for... not cowering in fear expecting to get zapped because you weren't one of the very few elect.... sorry to elaborate here on this , but there are a lot of 'other gospels' out there ... doing much damage.... sigh.) Thanks for this great topic upload. 😍 Could you do a video that goes a bit deeper on each 'stance' instead of a general overview? ( Or would that get into the personal counseling session territory...?)

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Seriously love your self awareness and digging into who you are. So good 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 And I’ll look into doing a more in depth stance video for each stance. ❤️

[@kenyon2598]

Haven’t come across the stances thing, thank you for sharing and explaining!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

❤️❤️❤️

[@fiveh3340]

I don't know which video is most appropriate to put this, but: I'm so confused with myself because I feel emotions deeply only when I actually feel them (which is rare) and I tend to brush them off. And when I express them (to people, at least), it always comes out as anger. Sometimes even my sadness comes off as anger 😭

[@KxNOxUTA]

Oh yes, things make even more sense now!

[@lalabels223]

thankyou for this video, that I just learned that I need to study enneagram more to fully understand.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

It’s has so much depth to it. Keep learning. It’s so good!

[@lalabels223]

@@enneagramandcoaching I will. GOD BLESS ❤️

[@melannydayrethratliff1309]

My score 4 - 93% 5 - 98% 9 - 75% My first reaction : it's ok 🤗 Now : 🤡

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Makes sense! You are for sure in the withdrawn stance. 😀

[@KristyKapp]

I'm a 6w5 but I very much relate more to the withdrawn stance than the dependent.

[@HolisticHomemaker]

I was just wondering about the 6’s repressed thinking centre. Since they’re in the thinking triad and always in their heads what does that mean in correlation? Thank you!!

[@skidibidup]

How to know, for god's sake 😂, if I was the three in the "withdrawn" stance, (459 for a tritype), I can't, like I can't figure out which core I am !!! The easiest way I got my typing was through "tritypes" or "The contemplative 459" but I really confused between 9 and 5 as which is my core! that's really confusing. I will keep watching your vids to know more, you're great thank you!

[@mauriciobucardo4054]

love your videos! keep it up :)

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Glad you like them! Thank you!

[@thelindseyhaeger]

great video, Hillary!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Thanks Lindsey!!❤️

[@lucianalfaro9170]

Weird that I'm a 6 but I relate a lot to the aggressive stance, especially the part that they are feeling repressed. I think I'm a lot more feeling repressed than thinking repressed. Probably because I'm a sexual 6 and my tritype is 683

[@enneagramandcoaching]

This makes perfect sense…the SX would relate.

[@liascott2014]

Do you believe in the tri types? I’m 4w3 tritype 478. I just thinking that If I can’t withdraw myself from a situation I then revert to my 3w/7/8’s for help and have def been called aggressive before. I wouldn’t say I withdraw myself because I learned better than to do that. Haha.. I performed much social explorations in my days to learn how to better interact with people and understand how others think better. (And the truth about what people REALLY think not just what it appears to be). For example, when new staff starts at work, I don’t feel ready to approach them right away. Once I mentally prepare myself, I force myself to find a time when they are alone to go say hi and have a little conversation. Then they know that I’m friendly and that I care. This also helps me feel more comfortable around them afterwards and they also tend to accept me better then on. I learned that I can grow to really like someone even if I don’t realize I will in the beginning. I only feel rejected if I don’t go say hi because then they assume I’m not friendly etc. So I’m also wondering if what you describe in the video is mostly referring to the very core experience before the growth and learning takes place? (E4w3 but also heavy in the 5 wing.)

[@zanyryan6417]

2:09 but isn’t type 6 in the fear/head center? How is it that their thinking is the thing to be underdeveloped?

[@anitadodd]

Does a type 9 move toward people for guidance when they are under stress and exhibiting behavior of the low side of 6? I think the stress and growth points is the most confusing part of the enneagram for me.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Hey Anita! Loved meeting you today! ❤️

[@anitadodd]

@@enneagramandcoaching Me too!!! Thank you so much for your help!

[@Yarbro45]

I wish for a more in depth video on this

[@AnAlternateAct]

My top three are 5, 4, then 9. I’m still confused if I’m 5 or 4 though. I also have a lot of 7

[@CobieO]

I'm a solid 5. Pretty sure my wing is 6, but I feel my 4 at times. Yes, I entertain in times of stress like a 7 and can be the informer/8 when I know more than my current company. Thus, I ascertain 5W6 cover a plurality of the Enneagram more than any other (4-8). Please don't take it as superiority, just math and/or observation. Thoughts?

[@jesusmejia3417]

What do you mean by agenda in the 8 stance?

[@caroline26601]

I think I've rewatched this about a dozen times now and I still don't understand the Compliant stance. 😂 I was curious about the counterphobic 6 because I read they get mistyped with 8s a lot. Stances and triads seemed a good way to differentiate.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

LOL! Let me try and explain it better. 1s, 2s, 6s move towards people with compliant solutions to get what they need or want and are thinking repressed. 1’s are very compliant with social standards like rules and laws. 2’s are very focused on other people’s feelings and needs. 2s move towards what will earn them praise and acceptance by focusing on helping others. 6’s move towards what will help them feel safe by building a secure environment and aligning themselves with a group. Hope this helps!

[@caroline26601]

@@enneagramandcoaching Thanks! I realized I said Compliant instead of Dependant lol. I think I almost get it now. Is it like 1s, 2s and 6s do what they're told so that they will feel good, loved and safe? (8 brain = does not compute lol)

[@enneagramandcoaching]

LOL! Yes! 🤣🤣🤣

[@madelineliu1102]

@@enneagramandcoaching I was also a little confused with the Dependent stance, but this second explanation helped a lot! What an interesting way to think about the enneagram!

[@Marina-og7vw]

My top three being 5, 4 and 9 😀 help

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Well, we know you're in the withdrawn stance LOL. I'll link a couple of videos that will help you. And if you still need help let me know :) Type 4- kzbin.info/www/bejne/b3fHdKeAn9hpm6c Type 5- kzbin.info/www/bejne/eYmThH2Jhpyti6c Type 9- kzbin.info/www/bejne/fn_TcpttmJukZsk

[@Marina-og7vw]

@@enneagramandcoaching wow I just saw your comment, thanks!!

[@fiveh3340]

okay so I relate to both the Aggressive and Withdrawn stance (weird, I know). When I step into a room, I'll usually try to engage with people to combat feeling like an outsider so that's basically moving away, right?

[@Celebok]

How common is it for people to have a tritype all within one stance? I see a lot of people in the Enneagram 9 group identifying their own tritype as 954. I personally don't give tritype much thought, but I wonder if a lot of those people when figuring out their tritypes are merely going for the withdrawing types in each triad, without being aware of it.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

The Enneagram Tritype consists of one Enneagram Type in each center of intelligence-the Gut/Head/Heart. So as far as I know that’s not possible. I think you’re probably right on how they’re figuring it out.

[@Celebok]

@@enneagramandcoaching Well, but why wouldn't it be possible for someone to pick the withdrawing type from each center? 9 from gut, 5 from head, 4 from heart? I, personally, identify as 953. In fact, I mistyped as a 5 at one point, shortly before figuring out that I'm a 9. Lots of 9's I see posting say they mistyped as 5, and lots of others as 4.

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Celebok your absolutely right. Seriously, I don’t know what I was thinking 🤔

[@Celebok]

@@enneagramandcoaching Awww, hehe. :-)

[@himawari5844]

iam 459

[@mollyeva9460]

Sorry! How can you be a 967 ! While in enneagram we take a number from each group , like you can't have both 6 & 7 , two thinking types in one tritype!

[@enneagramandcoaching]

You are absolutely right! I’m a 972.

[@Carol75221]

I'm 7w8 also high 3 lmao

[@niakdrolrevottv]

4: 98% 5: 98% 6: 85% 8: 83% No idea where I stand

[@amritagitikam.7922]

U r eighter 4w5 or 5w4. Try to learn abt both 5 n 4, try to find out which type describes u better. If 5 describes u better than u r 5w4 and if 4 describes u better than u r 4w5.

[@KayRang]

Strange for me because I’m supposedly a 6... but I feel like if anything... my feeling is repressed lol

[@enneagramandcoaching]

Hmmm...this could be because of a couple of things. My first thought is a 6 moves towards a 3 in stress which would put you in the feelings repressed stance under stress. My other thought is how did you figure out your type? Did you take a test? When you take a test it’ll give you a top 3. Usually your type is one of those. It’s not always the first one. I’d go over those top 3 and look at the cores of all 3 to see which one your most relate too...which one makes you a little uncomfortable 😂 that’s usually your type. Hope this helps!