Emotional Intimacy // Season 2 Episode 9 | Honest Tea Talk

In this episode, we discuss the importance of emotional intimacy in relationships, and what happens when it doesn't exist.
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About Honest Tea Talk
with Aliyah, LaYinka & Sumayah
Inspired by Jada Pinkett-Smith's 'Red Table Talk', 3 Muslim women have set up a platform to speak openly and honestly, giving viewers an unedited insight into the minds and life of Muslim women. Honest Tea Talk brings deep and often unspoken topics to the table to lay down our masks and start much-needed discussions about matters related to Muslim women and the ummah at large.
© 2020
#honestteatalk #realtalk #emotionalintimacy

[@samansarwar4205]

I love how Sister Sumayah doesn't speak too much but what comes out of her is always accurate🙌

[@sumayalewa9627]

Right mashAllah

[@iffatabbas3359]

@@sumayalewa9627 true

[@zahrahawaleh1515]

I think there's so much trauma and pain that is intergenerational for migrant families, including experiences of racism and discrimination, shame, abuse, poverty and family breakdown. So if you're not brought up in a house with love and the expression of opinions and emotions, you're not going to be able to do that very well in marriage. That's why we need to learn emotional intelligence and self awareness before marriage, and get onto a pre-marriage programme that explores relationship dynamics so that we are better equipped to choose a partner that is right for us and more compatible, and unlearn the negative aspects of our upbringing and habits so we can be better partners and parents eventually and don't repeat the mistakes we grew up with. That's how we stop this intergenerational fear towards vulnerability, so we can embrace it and feel fully human and empowered.

[@fiorinamartucci]

Perfect point brilliantly expressed my friend 🙏🏼

[@tahaali2732]

It's really nice listening to women for a change, rather than just listening to reminders and advice from male sheikhs, scholars and ustadhs every time. Barakallahu feek.

[@m.4523]

Mashaa Allah! I just wanted to say that as an organizer of sister's events in my community mosque. I started this honest tea talk series in the mosque, being inspired by you lovely sister's. To break taboo topics and create a safe environment in the sister community of the mosque and support each other with the guidance of Allah subhana wa ta'ala May Allah swt reward you sisters for this and bless you ♡♡♡

[@womenislamicacademy6971]

Can share some of the topics you discuss

[@m.4523]

@@womenislamicacademy6971 Yes, we discussed friendship, gossiping and backbiting. Unfortunately we wanted to continue and go to more taboo topics such as intimacy and high and lows in deen. But due to the coronavirus we have cancelled all activities. The planned setting was as followed. So we devided the group sisters into small groups. And gave them 5 questions that they could discuss. 1) How do you choose you friends? 2) What is gossiping? 3) How do you react to gossip? 4)What's is aamanah? 5)How do you give naseeha? So they could discuss all those question. And in the end we gave the answers based on hadith and quran.

[@user-kn7dl5ml8z]

InshaAllah i will be get married soon. Your discussion helping me a lot. Pray for me sisters. Jazakallahu khairan.

[@asma-mushtaq]

May A (SWT) make it easy on you, and bring you immense joy in your next step in life. Praying for you and your partner to have a fulfilling and contented life, based on Deen and mutual respect, care and understanding. IA

[@RM-dk8de]

Asma Mushtaq Ameen ❤️😊

[@amenuf]

TabarakAllah

[@user-kn7dl5ml8z]

Alhamdulillah... I got married with my beautiful wife. Thanks for all the dua made for me. Thanks Again... Sisters...😇😇💐💐💐💐

[@chandnikhan5586]

Ameen

[@jiddo8]

Thank you very much. I’m engaged right now and your videos helps me understand my partner even more and how to be a good husband in inshallah

[@anaeden6229]

My only concern is that communication can only happen if someone is open to communicating. Typically, from what I’ve seen a lot of people just can’t communicate or they don’t care to. They don’t see anything wrong with what they’re doing. Since I converted and stopped dating I just am so scared of this, scared of finding a husband who can’t/isn’t willing to communicate. (Granted I’m not looking to marry til after college) Inshallah we find husbands and wives who support us and are willing to listen to us and let us open up.

[@salahmuhammad6816]

Communication is key for happy marriage

[@Sumayyahsikiru]

Allaahumma Aameen

[@user-dh5ch8il7k]

Ma sha Allah tabarakaLlah that you are a muslim! I wish you an amazing marriage , there is just a little advice from me. Do not overestimate the person only based on his religious knowledge. I did it. And I'm struggling so hard to keep that marriage going because my husband is simply not a match for me , and as you said "he doesn't care" about communicating, I'm sure he has never been taught to do that in a gentle manner , as he should with a female. But still he is religious. After having several meetings with your potential spouse (of course within sunna rules) you have the possibility to know each other better without intimacy of course, and if you feel like it's not the right person do not lie to yourself, it will cost you a lot

[@reefk3412]

Islam is so perfect why do we make it so difficult may Allah guide this ummah real man in the Deen if you fear Allah and want to make it to Jannah insha'allah get closer to Allah stand up

[@yusufmusa316]

Alhumdulillah, I'm one of those person that the sister is referring to in my home I wasn't taught the emotional language in means of expressing it. I was taught to buried those types of feelings. So I completely understand what the sister is saying.

[@wajeehaali4987]

A.o.a sisters, Sometimes when i share my deepest feelings that i've never even spoken aloud, with my husband, I feel that he doesn't response well. He's just quiet and doesn't support me emotionally. So then I blame myself for sharing.

[@Sumayyahsikiru]

Stay strong sis ❤

[@cherrybao6611]

Sister have you told him that you feel like that he isn’t listening? And can it be that he doesn’t have the right words to say to you?

[@M.Sid9.3]

Men are not like women. Women handle feelings better. Accept your husband as he is, he isnt as in touch with your emotions. Allah is with you. Stay well.

[@nattybabymohd7860]

This episode is really amazing, Am a muslim girl and i know i've had conversation with some guys and most of them say that women are such dramatic creatures that they expect too much and has unnecessary demands but the simple truth is that they have this old idea that women are just supposed to be there like some robotic dolls doing what they are told without even any arguments or any saying and if u don't you are regarded as a dramatic or rebellious girl i mean really at some point they have to know that we are humans we feel we get stress and we need comfort just like them because this is a 2 sided way and u cant actually have a proper sane communication with someone who regard you as a dramatic or rebellious person .So i feel its more into changing their ideas and their acceptance to our nature not putting some pointless ideas on who we are while its clearly not like that.

[@mohamedehsan6206]

Really

[@a.r1832]

As a man, having a companion in a relationship wearing a mask is a problem because, I cannot do everything by myself. I will need her help. I cannot be living with a phantom.

[@saraabdalla8803]

who else hums the melody in the intro😭😭😂

[@nairobi-farmfairy7612]

Me! I want it as my ringtone in sha Allah!!

[@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543]

I hate nashid and follow the opinion to avoid it and it can imitate choruses, I do like poetry!

[@saraabdalla8803]

@@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543 didnt ask

[@jimsstyle3852]

Can you pls tell me the name of the nasheed

[@radiyafaraj9760]

The lack of communication breeds contempt.

[@sinandsayn]

False expectations, is the straw that broke the camels back! Alhamdulillah communication is key but in a calm setting meaning not when either party is upset so its not going into deaf ears

[@reciterrahma3276]

Subhan’Allahi wa bihamdihi Subhan’Allahil Azweem❤️ Subhan’Allah❤️ Alhamdu lellah❤️ Laa ilaaha illaa Allah❤️ Allahu Akbar❤️ Laa hawla wa laa kuwwata illaa billah❤️ May peace and blessings of Allah be upon our beloved prophet his companions and entire household Aameen❤️

[@aamiemujahid3564]

Aamiyn May the angels say the same for you as well Aamiyn

[@RM-dk8de]

“ The way we choose to communicate ourselves. It either furthers intimacy or shuts it down completely! “ So well said. May Allah grant us to implement healthy forms of communication in our relationships Ameen ❤️ especially a maturity to open channels of communication where necessary.

[@charla712]

I just discovered this channel and I love it. As a young muslim woman, I often watch talk shows hosted by women but I am always sad to see that there's no muslim women to express their point of view. And this is a bowl of fresh air, a need that I was lacking that AL HAMDULILLAH got fulfilled by this channel and thank you sisters for this good work ma shaa ALLAH, a quality content with depth and compassion, all with the wisdom of our beautiful religion. May ALLAH bless you and bless your work. Thank you so much for what you're doing for the community. Much love from Mauritania

[@HH-fm7bt]

PLEASE keep these videos up ladies!, you guys have no idea just how much you're bringing to the table. The mere fact that you're practising, intelligent, calm and introspective Muslim women brings a much needed voice and important topics of discussion to our community and even our fellow non-Muslim neighbours. Barak Allah feek and may Allah bring greater success to the channel.

[@user-dw4tm9jz2x]

2:41 "ceeb" whoever understood that word. Hit like.....

[@halalpolice7544]

I was actually thinking that she is Somali Maasha Allah I’m good at guessing my Somali pple

[@MINA-wh2sx]

@@halalpolice7544 I believe that word is actually arabic

[@halalpolice7544]

@@MINA-wh2sx Oh didn’t realize it was also Arabic 😂 anyway I’m sure Sumaya is Somali 😏

[@deneenhinkson6393]

Sisters, I agree Allah led me to your honest tea talk during Ramadan regarding emotional/intimacy regarding males' attitude in relationships/ marriage Allah all-knowing and merciful

[@zaralearningkorean]

Sometimes I really want to get married but sometimes I just don’t want to bcs of how you hve to be vulnerable and opening up yourself to hurt and so much emotional play?? And idk I’m awfully sensitive and let things that annoy me eat me alive. And I’m afraid I’ll let them hurt me because I love them?? and if I love someone I give it my all. 😔 I hope I can overcome this. May Allah bless me with a man who understands and empowers me Inshallah Ameen

[@gladiatorfarid1580]

Ameen😂

[@cinnabeld8284]

I have the same problem....And I'm getting older, I don't want to keep on being like this.

[@monirayusuf30]

I love how modest and calm you are.. Keep it up sisters. 💯💜

[@fiorinamartucci]

Loving those relaxing and deep talks

[@sarahlee7198]

I love the honesty & the real advice you all explain.

[@rammy1452]

Lovely channel! Can you please have a discussion about PMS? I recently had a terrible experience (anxiety, panic attacks etc) and I found myself looking up answers online (on Islamic sites, for reliability) but I found nothing and felt INSANE. Please discuss menstruations, the physical and mental effects of it and how to cope/be understood as a Muslim woman! PLEASE ❤️

[@yasminpasta4441]

Am speechless...this is resonating sooooo ssooo much...

[@idilqalanjo2035]

I love how this ladies share the talk. I feel the sisterhood vibe❤️❤️❤️

[@zachguy6958]

Well needed discussions thank you sisters...you actually owe us something from all of us...thank you sisters..your actually doing something very important.

[@loveneverends9605]

Jazaki Allah Khairan Sisters for this discussion.

[@ashadurose2841]

This episode is essential!

[@laylah6192]

I hope you guys can talk about the people who have trouble being vulnerable and opening up with others. Exploring more into that would be appreciated 🙏🏾

[@worshipthecreator9081]

Communication is definitely the key followed by compromising and listening.

[@Teamhonesty]

Sometime been honest makes you vulnerable.

[@umarmuhammad81]

I love to watch this with my wife Masha Allah. May Allah bless you Sista's inshallah

[@maryamabdullahbah863]

Thank you! Sister's😊 Keep it up, I have really learn alot from this. May Allaah protect you all Aameen! Communication and mutual understanding are the most important key in marriage.

[@rafetkhaliq2798]

Very insightful, Jazakh'Allah Khairun for this sisters.♥️

[@sadiqgibbons1765]

Communication is the key and essence of establishing a fruitful, productive and successful marriage

[@TheBeautyxAddict]

I feel like specifically amongst the ummah there has to be a measured effort to ensure healthy emotional intimacy especially in marriage as you (in various cases) are marrying someone you've most likely spent very little time with. I think this causes a barrier with a lot of couples that is either worked at to break down or upheld. Fully agree with Layinka that there are many people that don't even have the emotional literacy to be able to build and communicate on the level of emotional intimacy needed to make a relationship work.

[@khybersanga4413]

So proud of you gals , such a courageous step towards a honest education fir the most vital people 👏👏👏💕💕

[@fatimahsahid6869]

Salaam 'alaykum, It serms like communicating in this discussion was all about expressing sadness, problems. What about communicating good feelings, appreciation, gratitude and how that can go a long way to boosting relationships, not only between spouses, but also between parents and children, friends too. I believe the problem of how express positive things also exists.

[@aamiemujahid3564]

WA 'alaykum Salaam WA Rahmantullahi WA Barakatahu. Na'am I agree💖

[@aamiemujahid3564]

@Witness Truth I've experienced being teased & disliked because of my happiness. Hurt ppl hurt ppl most times it's hard to genuinely be happy for someone else who has what you don't. Or what you want we as ppl are flawed we were created in haste and allow our desires to overtake us & sometimes fall for the deception of the shaytain in. May Allah protect us from jealously and envy and from the whispers of shaytain Aamiyn

[@fatimahsahid6869]

@@aamiemujahid3564 Salaam 'alaykum sis, I have experienced the same, but what I have seen is that it is not about not having only, there is a type of person who has his/her own joys/achievements/ means, but will still grudge you having yours, as if it is their sole right to be happy. When you expect them to be happy for you, what you see is a glum face or you get 'eyed' up and down, or some negative remark. They don't share your joys with you even if you share theirs with them. Then there is the type that is truly happy for you, even if they do not have the cause of your joy. These ones increase your happiness. It is said, "Happiness shared is happiness doubled and problems shared are problems halved"

[@aamiemujahid3564]

@@fatimahsahid6869 WA 'alakumus salaam my dear sister. Na'am you are spot on, a comment was made to me about me being bright in complexion by a person LIGHTER than me in complexion I joyfully said it's the Nur of Allah her face showed she was angry that I said that this person is allegedly my best friend my sister friend as she call me but her actions always soeak louder then the love she spews out if her mouth. I love for my sister what I love for me the Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alayhi Wasallaam said you do not truly believe until you live for your sister what you love for yourself (paraphrasing). Sallahu Alayhi Wasallaam is my role model as are those who follows him. I am no better than anyone but myself if I want Jannatul firdaws for myself then why not for my brothers and sisters in this deen. Allah has bestowed his Mercy upon me so who am I not to give it to myself and those who testified to La Ilaha Illallah WA Ash hadu Muhammadan Ar Rasulullah. Fisibillah.

[@aamiemujahid3564]

@Witness Truth in surah Al-Anbiya ayah 37. We apply the Quran to our lives how we need it. Allah says I am as my slave thinks I am.

[@bushrazia6881]

MashaAllah sisters. Can't wait for the next episode on jealousy. Please do cover the other sicknesses of heart too anger, showoff etc

[@noorulayn]

One of the major challenges I find when it comes to communication between spouses or peers is the lack of emotional literacy as had mentioned in the video.. more so stressing the point being, not all married adults have developed that area of their intellect to be able to interpret and converse in a civil way on the deep level. Your videos are very insightful! It's reassuring to know others also acknowledge the importance of emotional intimacy.

[@Aliyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Layinka I like how u always stick up for the men. It's actually good because the men are always attacked. But we should think they have a side too

[@Aliyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

@@LaYinkaSanni subhanala yes we are all human Sometimes we get upset with men and we forget they are human too:(

[@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543]

@@Aliyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thanks for pointing it out, after all we come from a man & woman. every son has a mother and every daughter has a father. So how can sexism or dishonest communication to either men or women be healthy when they/we are needed to help each other optimize or even before how can that be Islamic? In Islam we are to be just and to optimize as thw key word layinka said we are to strike a balance which can have some variation depending on the ppl involved. May Allah guide us to empower and help each other!

[@shirazz9043]

Amazing MashaAllah TabarakAllah

[@umma6418]

Subhanallah! Beautiful beautiful beautiful one❤️as always. Jazakhallahu khairan sisters

[@jahcurec8736]

Grazie mille sorelle state facendo un buon lavoro.

[@lisa12345ization]

Communication is very important 👏🏽👍🏾

[@idilqalanjo2035]

Please continue talking. Love sumaya’s talks

[@Aliyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

Ur sitting there u want a hug but the man doesn't even know you want a hug hahaha so funny. And layinkas face after she says that. Too true ladies

[@Aliyahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

@@LaYinkaSanni Hahaha Layinka♡

[@fiddah]

LaYinka Sanni Ukhti, I love you for the sake of ALLAH. I am a sister by the way 🌸

[@yousufhasan3933]

alas, tis true, we men are neither clairvoyant nor telepathic. Marriages would be so much easier if only we could read women's minds and thoughts and feelings.

[@yasameenm6806]

this was my favorite episode :)

[@pharaohobame6187]

You ladies are great, very insightful and masterful at articulating that very slippery emotional literacy ! Keep it up.

[@iradukundacynthia3038]

Maa shaa Allah! Thank you very much for bringing in amazing and real life topics that anyone regardless of religion can relate to. A lot of people, myself included always tend to think that emotional intimacy, communication and all those good stuff ONLY apply to spouses, but No. It applies to all relationships. Yes, with spouses more because the way your parents or guardians live and communicate will even affect others (children or others) in one way or another. I agree A LOT with what you are talking about especially with staying back and thinking that the person you are in relationship with will figure out what you want or what has made you sad, etc. and react about it yet they don’t even have a clue about it. Thanks for the tips to what to do to improve our communication and emotional intimacy! Looking forward to trying them out with my parents and spouse in shaa Allah. I know that sometimes it’s not easy but a 100% worth investing in. I love you ladies. You are such an inspiration to me and for sure a lot! Allah bless you! Ameen!

[@nonkululekolekota1804]

Beautiful. I love interracial and intercultural weddings and relationships. God bless you.

[@zainabmumtazbb7117]

Aslm alk.I'm just excited about chancing on this.Brilliant discussion by wonderful sisters.Jzk.Ramadan Mubarak

[@igloobundle4981]

Mashaa Allah , I am grateful that Allah leads me to this wonderful channel. I always find it so difficult to be emotionally vulnerable and completely honest, I always find it a struggle to find the right words to express myself. Sometimes I resort to just keep what I am feeling inside because I am afraid that by being honest I can hurt the feeling of other people...but soon I realize that in order to have a healthy relationship, we need to break down those walls and be our honest and truthful self. Jazakillahu Khayran for this amazing discussion Dearest sisters. Your discussion has always been so wonderful 😍💞🌻

[@maissakaouache2467]

I liked the episode so much thank you for sharing ... and I think I have a small problem with communication 'cause of things happened to me when I was growing up .. but Alhamdulillah I am going over that 😍😍

[@nehaather263]

Jazakillah u khyran kaseera sisters 💕💕

[@Celine-rn7dc]

Love this show💛

[@littlefantine]

Salam aleikum I just found your channel and I'm really impressed by your discussion and thoughts on different type of very important topics. Thank you so much for doing this show! Greetings from Germany By the way you ladies are so beautiful inside and outside Mashallah.

[@radiajustthink5125]

I hear Marshall Rosenberg haha he's really key ✨✨✨✨ mashaAllah, islam + non violent communication is key ❤️

[@TheGolfCommunity1]

When you said "he doesn't want to touch you" all that came to mind to was corona virus lol

[@SabrinA-hn7ix]

😂😂😂

[@ghurabaa114xx]

Hahahahha

[@abdulrahmanfarah8957]

Very beautiful and useful program Masha allah.

[@abdilahidayib1962]

mansha allah Ladies thank you .

[@pearls2733]

Recently came across your channel and enjoying the useful content. You sisters are super articulate ,intelligent and very direct. It is so important that Muslim Women have a platform such as your channel so that sisters can learn and educate themselves on very sensitive matters which are often over looked in the community. I love your studio decor and it feels so cosy , it reminds me of when I am sat in a coffee shop with my friends. :) Please could you have an episode on narcissistic mothers/fathers. Thank you.

[@ummuayman440]

I Love u sisters you really hitting the points Jazakumullah khairan

[@Maymuna2043]

masha Allah good conversation i benefited a lot Alhamdulillah keep it up ladies! may Allah bless you abundantly Allahuma ameen

[@jameelbala3054]

jazakallahu bi khaira, it's nice topic of discussion. sisters please keep it up.

[@faz2452]

Subhanallah apsalutly love this!

[@sahinmansuri2891]

May Allah bless u and ur family Ameen

[@hausafilmstv]

To understand this a bit more, I’m trying to read With the Heart in Mind | The Moral & Emotional Intelligence of the Prophet ﷺ By: Mikaeel Ahmed Smith

[@sarahschwarz9972]

Sounds like a good book!

[@hyrunnisa997]

Yeah. In the beginning I used to go to my friends first. But after my husband and I had a better connection and communication I felt like I didn't need my friends in that regard anymore. It is actually really good to feel like I dont need to talk to anyone but him...and I think people use their friends because there is a barrier between the couple that we might not realize.

[@worshipthecreator9081]

Great when you have a husband who listens 💖

[@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543]

Yea sadly I heard many girl friends give bad advice try to sabotage relationships out of envy in the west! May Allah protect us.

[@hyrunnisa997]

@@worshipthecreator9081 sometimes when you have a husband who doesn't listen it's a good idea to have a mediator like a couples therapist. My friend had to do this because her husband didn't listen he ignored their problems and eventually she told him either we go to therapy or I'm leaving you.

[@studentlearning7805]

Good for you!! Just don't ignore your friends. Friends are not only to be there because you have issues with your husband, but just to have some people around.

[@ghurabaa114xx]

13.15 literally yes!!

[@hotenigma01]

Hmmm! Well said sister Layinka about the problem being the way communication is established not that there isn’t communication at all. Funny enough the verbal part of communication is the least weight with only 7%. The tone- 38% and body langue -55% play more role in effective communication between two people, and these are the parts people pay least attention to when communicating. Jazaka Allahu khairan sisters. May Allah Subhanallah wa Taala continue to increase you in ilm. Aameen.❤️❤️❤️🙏🎉

[@dacracking5768]

the problem is vulnability can leave you really hurt and hurt for a long time. I was someone who was in a realationship, yes a haram one, but at the time i was complealty lost in her. I opened up and essentially showed my vulnerabilities. And then it went wrong and i was distroyed. I'm pretty damaged right now and was in a compleate mess after, so you shuld be carefull with this

[@gigimonrose157]

I kind of disagree with what they said about meeting your emotional needs with other loved ones and about getting advice from friends first. While this could be helpful and maybe work for some, I think carrying your baggage to friends all the time and getting into the habit of that is actually quite dangerous. I think the relationship between husband and wife, to a degree, needs to stay private. A solid relationship needs that private space to resolve issues. The more people you carry into you marital issues the bigger the problems gets and the more opinions you invite... And sometimes too many opinions can drown out your own voice. So my word of advice would be to go to your spouse first, resolve things with them first, if you fail try again, try til the load feels lighter. Then if need be confide in a close friend or two. If your struggles are serious seek couples therapy. It's important to start conversation between husband and wife FIRST. X

[@HonestTeaTalk]

Thank you for sharing your insight. We agree that one's spouse is the first person to ever talk to about marital problems. In the episode, we weren't talking about going to friends about problems, we were talking about friends meeting one's emotional needs.

[@gigimonrose157]

@@HonestTeaTalk Yes I see what you mean! I think friends can meet emotional needs and it depends on the individual in question if that's enough for them. Thankyou for taking the time to write back to my comment! Love you ladies!!!

[@2011maxik]

Intimacy in islam is a taboo subject yet without it- humans cannot survive. A bird without wings is not a bird.

[@miri5754]

Well see I what you want to say, but it's not taboo in Islam, Islam is a perfect religion 💕, but it's a taboo in cultural contries who are muslims at majority. There is a response for everything in the holy Coran. I rather think that we, humans, have this terrible habit of mixing cultural issues with religious facts, till we can't see what is what if we don't know the Coran and the sunna, unfortunately. And that's what give those things that shouldn't be taboo.

[@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543]

I think its due to sufism who have went the way of preists. they teach modesty to many thats good, but they push bida like tabligh jamaat which pushes grave worship, and avoiding family and even mawlid which is a bida imitating christmas which they learned from shias who are like rabbis pushing muta, 1 night stands marraige as a living. as Sunni Muslims we are to be balanced with modesty and having relationships. First we need strength as a group or basic level at least along with family, unity on Tawhid and Sunnah. as Malik Shabazz said Oneness of Lord = Oneness of man and i add through the Sunnah and not random imams who overpraise themselves and have their graves worshipped like the mushriks and change Islam like in Quran 9,31. May Allah protect us and guide us. this division weakens the ummah and makes ppl turn to materialism and the like! When we say Muhamamdur RAsulalah it means our religion or citation ends with him on any topic in the right context, but many ppl they learn something but don't correct it to that source we all unite upon. This stops us from having goals as a team! but no definately from the sunnah the Prophet peace and blessings on him taught and didn't judge and he set it up to aid it like even there were sister only times, but with all this sufi arrogance and ignorance pushed by the colonists i assume to disunite us there is so much judgement personally and division due to ignoring texts. Tawhid leads to security see Quran 24,55 - its at the head of retifiction, then its the sunnah and sticking with the scholars. Many of the colonized lands are sufi lands and war torn lands are due to shias as shiasm is made by ibn saba who liek paul pretended to be a believer and fight Islam from inside. Sunnism, Manhaj Salaf is the way for peace and stability by blessings of Allah at the wholescale pillar level and family scale way and is balanced! Right now I can't think of any works outside the hadith books but i just wanted to mention these are important points along with the point mentioned that I saw in my travelings and from the Sunnah of Allah I read - alot of ppl don't know this term either, they just think the Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings on him has Sunnah!

[@nazmed8141]

False sects like shia are judeo ibn saba made You are a crazy and divisive Salafi

[@andreaboyd3433]

Alhamdulilah. Communication is the key to an intimate relationship. Right-On ukhties. May Allah grant us a special mate with the same compassionate communication as well as to understand us a women. And visa versa. I need someone whom is open to communication on a level of maturity and respect of listening too. Not judging me are humiliate me. Insha'Allah. Jazakallahu khair Hababti Ukhties for sharing

[@Hippieheyhey]

Sometimes it is just professional help needed. We had to get a counsellor, that’s how bad we had it. It helped about 50% although cost a fortune and so hubs did not want to pay for any more sessions.

[@glynisrobertson9757]

When one person communicates with another person with judgement instead of openness and with the mindset of solving issues versus having a hidden agenda like “controlling, shaming or condemning, problems within the relationship will develop. Initiating a relationship requires both parties to show-up with who they really are and not the “representative” of who they want you to think that they are. I say, “leave the “representative” home” when we meet.

[@alimboyelandoure7070]

That's very important sisters May Allah reward you people jennatul feridaus

[@naq8405]

I was just researching on how to be more vulnerable to my friends

[@musdon6677]

Don’t be vulnerable to your friends never put too much trust in friends . You never know when they will switch up. Lol

[@Teamhonesty]

I agree . I have been Married for 25yrs and my husband has always been using islam and my weakness throughout our mariage.

[@hxttieme]

I loved this talk, x thank you so much ladies for making this video and giving your advice x

[@kikehassan9523]

EMOTIONAL ILLITERACY.... That's the word, never knew there was anything like that. I think that is my problem😥

[@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543]

Always remember emotions are a 2 way street and personal thing. Customs have taken a part in ppl's interactions but we are individuals as well! Try to be balanced and indepedant and optimize acc. to the Sunnah and serving Islam is how I see it!

[@uraharasshop3547]

I think the issue of emotional intelligence and how to communicate effectively is a problem for both men and women. So many brothers say things without thinking as well as sisters. I include myself of course as we’re always trying to improve

[@nadiaali8321]

i think people in my (first) life community felt like male quietness and mysteriousness is very appealing. it might be if it actually reflects knowledge rather than the inability to communicate. that's a fine line. also, in my second life community, i think people around me have mistaken emotional literacy as inner strength, if that makes sense. so the times where i was able to express my thoughts, feelings and emotions really well, it was like: well, look at this strong/rude person. and a minute after expressing my emotion and feeling happy about it, i'd crumble again. like you said, once the safety is gone, you become selective where you share you feelings, and then you cause a problem for yourself in the long run. thanks ladies!

[@alwaritayexercisevid]

Wow! May The Almighty Allah continually bless you my sisters for such an important discussion. As a Muslim man, I am always researching not only Islamic sources, but also other sources to become a better man. If you haven't yet, for this topic I would recommend you reading the book "Girl Logic: The Genius and the Absurdity Book" by Iliza Shlesinge. This opened my eyes. I would recommend this to all Muslim couples too. May Allah reward us all, and grant us guidance.

[@Soul.Heart.Mind.]

Subhanallah this topic hits so close to home. ❤️ jazakunn’allahu khayr

[@mohdjubair4805]

Jazakallha hoo khairan

[@abdulazeezimam7020]

Lovely and insightful episode, this resonates so much with me. Could you like upload all your episodes for the season at once. We are all tired of waiting😀😃 (Ps you can all like this if you agree, there's power in numbers😁)

[@HonestTeaTalk]

Might be best to savour them slowly since we only have 2 more episodes of the season left, and then we'll be going on hiatus for some months.

[@abdulazeezimam7020]

@@HonestTeaTalk 😁😁

[@user-bn7de7by2m]

Masha'allah Masha'Allah My God protect you Very nice video Thank you Jazakum Allah khier

[@speakthetruth54]

I can't believe you are talking about my current situation, my husband keep shutting me down if we have a problem he builds up this wall between us.He don't communicate with me he waits until it festers then spits it out.

[@alexanderv7702]

Your husband is probably a victim; moulded by his family environment. His negativity affords you the opportunity for positivity-worthwhile; but demanding. I will pray for you, right now. 🫂🙏 🤲

[@barakah3270]

mashAllah nice talk, may Allah swt keep blessing all of us. Definitely your absolutely true communication is very important, sometimes you don't know how to communicate or what to say or the you feel that the order partie is not paying attention to you. Or your feel that you're not connected but for the other partie is okay. And then one day the man is telling you that he is going to get married with other women, sometimes you feel confused don't what to do. (I am a woman)

[@farhiyaa4880]

girl if your man is talking marrying someone else..Dump him because he dont want you. Dont matter if he jokes about it or not...its too risky and he don't value you.

[@farhiyaa4880]

A man ignores, distances, reduces or stops communication with a women he dont want. He said he wants another wife because he doesnt want you. He is already looking for your replacement. Please pack your stuff, sell everything in home, file divorce...and Keep him out of your life. He will hurt you if you allow him back in. If you got kids...keep it business like...strictly the money and visitation time only. Therapy helps alot.

[@destressandmotivation9656]

Ladies what u must understand is that it is not necessarily the case that if a woman chooses to put herself in a vulnerable situation and has a open hearted discussion with her spouse it will lead to emotional intimacy enhancement between the two!...No this is not always the case..Sometimes openness,putting yourself in a vulnerable position in the hope that your partner will acknowledge this,leads to the mature, honest vulnerable talk falling on deff ears, or silence as a response from your partner!!..This is a very common problem amongst couples.

[@dustinsaidtoney2547]

Masha'llah, you sisters are real treasures. I'm grateful that I stumbled upon you. I am a revert from The States. I have been divorced now for a couple of years. I am grateful that my ex wife and I have been able to reconfigure our relationship with each other, and raise our kids together in kindness With that being said and while I am thankful that I am now single, being single is not my end game. I now know what I don't want, but more important I know what I do want. I also know that if I am to find a woman with the qualities I am attracted to there are some things I need to strengthen in myself and there are other things that I need to admit to myself and let some things die out. Insha'llah, God is polishing and maturing me so that I can show up a better man tomorrow than I am today to be a positive example for my boys and so that I am prepared when I do meet a sister that is a right fit for me. Insha'llah, I wil show up with better manners, more confident, showing up sincerely and authentically and when I express myself to her and everyone around me I am able to do it in a way that blesses those around me. Anyway, what you ladies are talking about should be celebrated and are a blessing to a lot of people and I believe are pointing people in the direction of more love a deeper level of intimacy and emotional maturity. Thanks👍

[@user-dh5ch8il7k]

I like this invisible net that kind of gathers different people from different parts of the world and at the different time communicating here in a comment section. I found myself very disappointed by my husband because he doesn't even think that communicating with me is more important than communicating for HOURS with his friends. And I found myself losing this ability to start conversations . Even if it's in a form of "text"- my text looks like an essay, his text looks almost like a smiley , like one or a couple of words. This is killing my marriage every day. And he doesn't want to divorce me because of our child.

[@zakhan4758]

Have you got any plans to make the audio available in a podcast format? :)

[@HonestTeaTalk]

It already is. You can search for Honest Tea Talk on popular podcast platforms.

[@max20817]

The trouble is a woman doesnt know what she wants, so the man is chasing his tail in trying to please a woman. When u are very affectionate and loving she says ur full on and clingy when your distant and aloof she says ur selfish. So what is the solution?

[@ghurabaa114xx]

Perhaps, a balance of those 2 extremes?

[@ST-yc7uj]

Alternate

[@shadowstorm5261]

well if a woman is saying that then leave her. sounds like she doesn't like you. this woman will drag you emotionally and create drama for no reason.

[@ibrahimnoor4507]

Masha Allah