how I stopped OBSESSING over my body

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WHO AM I?
Hey there, I’m Cinzia DuBois. I’m a part-time, self-funded PhD student and KZbinr, Podcaster and writer. I’ve been creating videos for over thirteen years. I discuss productivity, personal development, PhD, academia and mental well-being on this channel. On my main channel, I talk about all things dark and ancient history, literature and folklore.

[@brittney3156]

Also when you have a narcissistic family, they absolutely do notice you more than you notice yourself. It's how i became self aware.

[@socpancake]

years after i've stopped abusing my body to fit society's aesthetic expectations, my family still comments on my fluctuating weight, no matter how many times i've asked them to refrain from it. it's hard and exhausting, but you need to keep reminding yourself that you don't have to accept their words, and that they reflect their own pain and problems rather than yours. wishing you strength, courage and healing

[@keiththorpe9571]

My fiancée Allie has had serious issues over the years with body image. It's a new experience for me to be in a relationship with someone who deals with that. We exercise quite regularly (free weights four times a week, machines and cardio the other three) and she is as physically fit as a woman of 34 can realistically be. In spite of this, she still deals with poor body image. It was several months into our relationship before I found out why, when I met her family. Her parents, her brother, her older sister, and their partners, are six of the most toxic people I've ever met in my life. They clown on her every chance they get, body issues being just one of many things they chew on her ass about. Our last visit to see them (about 3 months ago) I told them was going to be our last visit. Simply put, body image issues cannot be dealt with if we allow people in our lives who constantly undermine our progress by dumping all over us. In fact, no issues can be dealt with, in the presence of people like that, be they family, friends. whomever.

[@Mrvictorfernandes]

"Flowers grow back even after the harshest winters. You will, too." - Jennae Cecilia

[@Eric.Taylor.1962]

"I like being me". Says it all doesn't it? Love to see you being this positive about yourself.

[@jameellamar]

i like the idea of focusing more on our accomplishments than aesthetics. i think it allows us to take more pride in "doing" than just "being" because it shows what we're truly capable of as human beings. we may not look our best during our worst but our worst is when we do our best

[@annascorner111]

as someone who grew up visibly overweight (literally since birth, i was a heavy baby, heavy child, and turned into a heavy teenager and equally heavy adult) this hits very close. i got to experience the cruelty that some people force onto others simply because of their own insecurity, and while i deeply wish i could've grown up with a more positive experience, especially when it comes to my own family, i can't deny how freeing it is to have been forced to deal with my own body image because of it. i'm only 25, but i can genuinely say, i couldn't give less of a shit what other people think of me when it comes to my looks. am i overweight? yes, sure, but i take care of myself as best as I can and even if I lose weight or gain weight, this doesn't affect the way I see my own worth. the way to get there was cruel, sure, but at the same time I try to see the good in it and it turned me into someone that is free of this constant worry about my own looks. the people that made my life a living hell still deal with this in their 50/60/70/whatever, this constant worry about aesthetics and calories and looks, and I can only imagine how miserable their lives must be, even now. i might not be skinny, or particularly beautiful, or an athlete, or whatever, but I have meaningful relationships that aren't based on any external aesthetic, and I wouldn't trade this for anything, especially not for being skinny.

[@tob4643]

best productivity creator at the moment & it's not even close keep looking after yourself cinzia, proud of you :)

[@DogWalkerBill]

I was at my physical peak in my 30s. So enjoy it!

[@Computra]

Your stomach is flat! I'd be thrilled to be that slim! I hope you continue to feel even more comfortable in your skin because you are truly a classic beauty and a person with true class and compassion! I try to remind myself everyday there are people who would love to have my problems.

[@danhollifield]

Being comfortable with being yourself conveys so much more beauty than any social aesthetic. I have done and will continue to tell you that you are one of the most beautiful women on the planet. I tell my wife the same thing, but she doesn't believe me. After 30 years with her, she still never listens. we're rapidly approaching our 70s--well, I am, she will always be my ideal of feminine pulchritude and never seems to age at all, but that's beside the point... --Dan

[@lesliemoiseauthor]

Thank you. I know from the title it's going to be helpful. "How well my body carried me.". YES! I love this.

[@SelfHelpShelf]

Glad it was helpful!

[@jimbrittain402]

I do SO respect your honesty and willingness to tell your truth.

[@socpancake]

thank you for speaking up about this incredibly sensitive and important topic!

[@SelfHelpShelf]

You're so welcome!

[@Hadleys-comet]

This meant a lot to me. I’m in ED recovery right now and honest conversations like this are so inspiring!

[@idontknowwhatahandleisohwell]

“If all these external factors did not exist, how would I feel about my body?” My opinions about stuff - anything - is so dependant on my mood. 6am just woke up grouchy and see myself in the mirror…..my body looks like the ugliest thing in creation. Just got back from a great date or promotion…..nothing is more beautiful than every inch of my naked self standing in front of a full length mirror.

[@lemmidraws]

Really good video that resonated with many thoughts I’ve had in the past over my appearance. The last 4/5 years I’ve been working on being physically active, but the biggest change has been my reason why. It’s not with the aim to be skinny, but to be healthy and strong, so that I can live longer with the people I love doing the things that I care about. We definitely do not give enough credit for what our bodies do for us and what we achieve, and that’s something I’m still working on.

[@maggiescarlet]

Damn! Congrats on your consistency at the gym and having run marathons! I was a bit overweight as a child too, and have asthma, so at a young age I decided that sports wasn't for me and I would have to be clever instead. I really thought you could only be sporty OR smart, how ridiculous... Luckily I still did Aikido class with my dad until I was 16, and have lived in hilly places where I had to walk a lot, so my fitness has been ok, but I really want to push myself so I've just started couch to 5k. I'd really like to build my strength and stamina this year, I love yoga but it doesn't do much for that. Sorry for rambling, if anyone has some beginners tips for running I'd love to hear them, especially relating to breath control.

[@matthewscully2475]

Books save lives- so keep reading. So does exercise- so keep training.

[@winterburden]

Thank you so much for sharing this with us Cinzia!

[@SelfHelpShelf]

No problem 😊

[@megjames7623]

So proud of you

[@MidnightMuse102]

Gurl!!! Thank you for this 🖤🖤🖤

[@thingslaurasays9995]

This was so comforting to watch - thank u!

[@hhhhhh-em1rm]

omg you are my favorite youtuber at the moment, i like the way you handled this topic

[@phatjbl]

You are beautiful. It's easy to overthink everything when you are super intelligent.

[@TheSilveryew]

This is so important to talk about. I read a poem about this that has really resonated with me. It was an apology to the body for the way it had been criticized in the past etcl. when what it can do should be celebrated, and the independence of just being well gives you. I have carried that with me and never taken my independence and that my body can take me places, for granted.

[@Quddus19]

If you had shown me that video of you at 20 I wouldn't have believed you. I'm glad you're in a good place with your body. Also I have always wanted to say how beautiful you are ❤

[@harrietr1285]

I’ve watched your channel since 2018. You truly are amazing ❤

[@Heidi2003]

I love the videos you make❤

[@Computra]

Thanks!

[@donnat1911]

Cinzia, you are healthy and beautiful just the way you are. Truly inspiring seeing you hit the gym and lifting weights. Lately I've been interested in building strength too. You inspire me, Cinzia! 😊

[@moviesyay28]

Something interesting about belly’s is that if you look at a weight lifter , they have a curved musclar stomach….. because that’s where their organs are….. lol this is a simple funny moment someone brought to my attention helped me leave myself alone. I guarantee that if pants were customized to fit like they should, no one would be worried about how their stomach looks. I think you are lovely !

[@user-pl3ro4dx6b]

Love your videos, as always!

[@SelfHelpShelf]

Glad you like them!

[@robertmkorte]

Just a small thank you for your great videos 😊💛😊

[@SelfHelpShelf]

Thank you, Robert!

[@bucklberryreturns]

In the UK, even women's clothes shops seem intent on perpeuating such mindsets. A size 8 in one shop might be size 12 in another. The sceptic in me wonders if despite publicly supporting positive body image, do they actually prey on, and even promote these negative thoughts for profit?

[@maggiescarlet]

So true!! I buy most of my clothes on Vinted now, and always ask the seller to tell me the waist measurement, or length etc., because the size on the label tells me nothing !

[@abigailcross624]

I am new to this channel (not to you though) and I have to say I love the content. This video especially. I am 45 (soon 46) and it is only in the last couple of years that I realised what it meant to truly love my body. I love it unconditionally, and when I did that I actually noticed positive physical changes. That’s the real secret that the diet industry doesn’t want anyone to know! This middle aged spread thing has snuck up on me so I am making changes to counteract that as it isn’t healthy (and, if I’m honest, I don’t like how it looks or feels) but I still love my body for all that it does. Remember, the fat shows your body is actually working and keeping the fat as far away from vital organs as possible. Make small healthier decisions with food and get a bit more active, but don’t push yourself or you’ll soon crash and burn. Last note, I think you are absolutely beautiful. Mind you, I am female and straight so perhaps that doesn’t count ❤

[@Valentine_Rose]

"I'm kinda ✨meh✨" Felt that on whole new level.

[@missytyrrell1]

All this! ❤

[@jasoncuculo7035]

I have asthma under control with the muscles involved in breathing rating 170% and therefore 70% above the scale due to powerlifting. Doctor told me that if I was this did everything, I was supposed to do including breathing exercises and prescriptions and was thin, the growths on my lungs would still be growing. They stopped growing due to extra control and reducing inflammation due to the extra muscular power. If I lose weight, I would lose too much of that muscle. I could get lung cancer from losing weight have no back pain but severe arthritis in it due to core strength and powerlifting. a powerful heart and do not have diabetes or prediabetes. I am 54 weight 239 at 5'9" with shoes on (BMI in mid-thirties). However, my fat percentage is in the 20s. If I lose weight, I would have serious issues as I mentioned. I deadlifted 565 in the Summer then went off season that is pounds which roughly 255 kg. I hit 515 easily at 90% day two weeks ago. I do not take steroids or supplements, but young people have stopped me saying that I am walking to fast it will give me a heart attack (OMG LMAO). When people criticize you or their bodies there is a chance, they do not have a clue about what they are saying and are either well-meaning obtrusive "know tt alls" or rude bullies.

[@silveriojohnson9401]

Congrats on finding (hopefully) a life partner! Did the apps work out in the end?

[@thebigd9989]

I never cared about my physical appearance until my ex gf tell me that I was way to skinny, it's been 9 years and just this year I started not caring about it no more, I have always been this way I like it or not. Acceptance feels better than trying to be something else. my body works a treat in my lifestyle climbing mountains and doing rescues on them. But it really hurt when the person I loved told me one of my biggest insecurities ever in a really bad time of my life 😢 it's crazy how much harm words can make.

[@M_SC]

If you know about the glasses thing you can and do spot it without zooming in! I just notice on it everyone. I don’t assume anyone is wearing “fake” glasses, it’s more about who has a strong and who has a weak prescription. (Though you can pay more for thinner lenses that change your face less). Anyway I notice it without effort or really caring. To an extent I enjoy other people with terrible eyesight because that’s my people

[@M_SC]

However people have always noticed physical presentation more than I do. It wasn’t encouraged in my family to worry about “details” that other people find essential and un-unnoticeable.

[@LifeInFax]

6:10 Cinzia DuBeast?? 😳

[@stacycoiner4206]

I know it may not mean much, but you are quite beautiful. Although "true" beauty comes from the inside and radiates out. Please remember you are only as beautiful as you see yourself. No body else's opinion matters beyond your own.

[@Heothbremel]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@claudeJUNIOR]

I Like Dragon Ball Z.

[@elizabethpena1608]

You are so beautiful inside and out,and very sweet

[@user-xj3yo1wi3f]

I feel like western culture has very weird concept of keeping healthy. People don't buy full fat milk and control their eggs intake and then they feel alright to order delivered burgers and pizzas or buy more expensive food with almost similar nutrients as eggs and milk. They go to gyms on a daily basis while drive to run errands everywhere. And all kinds of specific diets. It feels like keeping healthy is so closely linked to consumerism, i.e., you have to spend money. I dont have any restriction on food. I eat normal dessert, not some lowcarb protein supplement. I dont eat healthy smoothie for breakfast and chicken salad for lunch. I ate everything and i never go to gym. I walk to work and cycle to buy groceries.

[@princessdumbarton9877]

Society is too focused on looks. The women who are considered "attractive" now look fake to me. Too much makeup, surgery, everything is fake. Maintain a healthy weight, exercise moderately, be clean and do basic grooming and that is enough. The focus needs to be on character and intelligence.

[@commoneuropeanstarling]

If I'm still allowed to say it, I'd like to say you're a very beautiful woman and I care very little about body flaws. People that are constantly looking at such flaws are shallow and insecure people. Not to mention those who read the tabloid press which are poking fun at celebs' bodies. Also one of the things I loathe about social media. One of the best things about getting older is that you care less about what others think.

[@Ipoown..]

so vou para academia pra ficar bonito pelado

[@edgarsxdwoo7417]

Trubama

[@paulwoodford1984]

Nothing wrong with striving for perfection

[@cuca_]

There’s a lot wrong with that

[@bubbles581]

Well striving for and obsessing over are different I think.