How Confidence Gives People an Unfair Advantage

[@gerafinali4384]

As a younger kid with little confidence, I spent a lot of time observing popular confident people. I was particularly listening to what they had to say, as other people always seem to agree or find it interesting, but I soon realised there was nothing in their speech that was particularly interesting or clever. It was the way they delivered, acted, held themselves. So I did copy it and in very little time, I became popular. However, it was not enjoyable, as I realised it was just a kind of trick that people would fall to. But I learned to listen to what people really say, rather than being influenced by how they behave.

[@rosebyanyothername6710]

So interesting. I watched a Masterclass last night with Anna Wintour (The most influential woman in the fashion world), and her advice for success: "Act like no-one will ever tell you 'No'", and "Make decisions without hesitating". Now I know why! Thanks Chase!

[@traveljunkie1324]

Fascinating-will have to take a look at that!

[@rosebyanyothername6710]

@@traveljunkie1324 Totally! Don't know if you've seen or read 'Devil Wears Prada" but she's a total drill sergeant in that (Meryl Streep's character). In her Masterclass she tries to soften it which made me smile. Either way, a coincidence to see this video, literally the day after, explaining why these techniques work. She calls it a 'leadership style' but it's clearly about confidence... but hence why confidence breeds success and vice versa!

[@rosebyanyothername6710]

@Travel Junkie BTW, it's the subscription Masterclass version not the KZbin interview!

[@traveljunkie1324]

@@rosebyanyothername6710 yes, I love that film! I’ve already read a ton of book and ‘collected’ a ton of knowledge over the years. However, the bit I struggle with (as a female project manager, working in a very male dominated industry) is remembering to put any of it into practice at the point I need to in real life situations- like most people, my natural instinct and deeply ingrained automatic response unconsciously kick in like most people and I don’t think to use my knowledge -so I want to learn how to put Chase’s tips into practice.

[@traveljunkie1324]

@@rosebyanyothername6710 thank you-will take a look 🥰

[@gilliangriffiths8246]

I used to be confident especially in my job. I could feel the power of it when I gave presentations. All eyes were on me listening to every word I said. Then I lost myself when my husband passed away. I haven't got back to the place I was but this video makes me believe I could if I really try. I don't think I will be the person I was but i'm sure I could be better than I am now. Thanks Chase I love these videos I have been an avid fan of the Behaviour Panel for a while.

[@ldolan4051]

I used to be very happy with my confidence level. It kind of was 'born' when my children were born. My precious son died, and I never came back either. 💔

[@oa2621]

You could be the same or better. I believe you can. Sorry about your husband but I am sure nothing would make him happier then to see you the old you. The same person he always loved. Go make him happy. I believe you can. My belief is that everything is mind. Master your mind…master your life. I myself have A LOT 😂 to work on but I have belief I will win one way or another.

[@fasfan]

I needed this about 20 years ago. Lol

[@squishysquid9505]

Same

[@mrsmacca126]

30, for me

[@bowievision8291]

@@mrsmacca126 Same 🥴

[@cherialbaugh1741]

"When the student is ready, the teacher appears " .....never too late 😎

[@ksmith1964]

Same!! ☺️

[@PhysicalMath]

Personally I started becoming more confident when I started thinking about each interaction with others as something super tiny in the scheme of my whole life. From there, things became much easier.

[@thejoycatcher8189]

Saw this and it immediately caught my eye! I am slowly being ok with telling people I’m happier NOW than before covid and this whole fabulous year! LOL I felt sorry for myself and got tired of that! So I worked very hard and have so much more to go, but this pushed me to do better! Every single day I’m more and more excited because I pushed myself into new ways of doing things. I was forced to learn new skills because I had needs more longer met by others. So I’m learning everything from fixing a toilet, cutting hair, and decided to try creating a silly channel. Fear kept me stuck! But as I age I find myself BEING ok with being corny and different! I don’t do it foe others when it comes down to it. But when I’m happier with myself, it’s a ripple effect! I can be a better wife, mother, sister or friend! Sorry this is so long. I am just excited to finally just be me!! Not asking anyone’s permission! I made a fool of myself and my channel reminds me of Stuart Smalley from SNL but... 🤪🤣 It’s liberating even if others may see me as unstable! I’m far from perfect but that’s not my goal! To be better than yesterday is fine by me! LOL Have a fabulous Thanksgiving and thanks for putting up with long novel comments. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🦃😁🙏🏻👍🏻🤗

[@amorphousface2401]

Self esteem comes from seeing yourself doing something that you didn’t even know that you could. Good for you.

[@Billfish57]

The surest way to feel good is to constantly produce more than you consume. That's how you get ahead in life and if you do that over time, it will make you feel better and better. The best way to produce (money) more than you consume is to start business. Or, you can do what most people do and get a job but jobs can get old within a year or two. The politics of working in a company is a soul killer. Or, you can do what most females do and find a man that makes lot's of money and hangout with him, but that can get old too. If you love freedom and not having to kiss someone's ass to keep the money flowing your direction, then having your own business is the ticket.

[@cherylhudson7333]

You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you! 💕

[@Jessyabc]

I think a lot of confidence is really the result the feeling of being entitled, that goes along with narcissism. I have watched this with Trump and he is confidence never waivers. Thank you for addressing this serious issue.

[@kaymarham5486]

You're an outstanding authority in your field, Chase. A very important teacher! Thank you.

[@pissingmargaritas7282]

I’ve recommended this video several times! I’ve also watched it several since hearing about it! Fantastic content. To the point. No fluff.

[@lindaspitzer8610]

Sometimes I want to say so much after listening to you but come back to saying Thank You! I’ve been sharing with my friends what I’ve been learning from Behavior Panel and now your talks. 75 and I’m still learning so much! Thank you!

[@Aprillfools]

You know what is so great about true confidence? It's very attractive and doesnt play into anything like jealousy or arrogance. It's good in it's own right and that shows without having to say anything to prove itself.

[@3leggedsharkkickssurferinballs]

👏👏👏. This. I've always seen TRUE confidence as having nothing to prove. It's a quiet self assurance ( which IS super attractive) rather than cockiness or bravado (which to me always looks like an overcompensation for insecurities the person doesn't want to admit/ confront).

[@cherylbradley9156]

Agreed. I always think of this as someone who is comfortable in their own skin. Albeit, that has not always served me well romantically. You can be very confident, very comfortable in your own skin and give no hoots about anyone else. I think discernment is key.

[@patrickmorris3721]

You are Correct. Having nothing to prove. But you definitely know what to do. Without saying a word.👍

[@ladyinasuit6811]

So, we’re all playing our parts in this game called life. Some of us get their roles handed to them, others pick and choose precisely who and what they want to portray. Absolutely awesome, thank you Mr. Hughes

[@traveljunkie1324]

Fab video Chase and super informative -I could listen to you all day!

[@shaniroga]

Best Explanation I've ever heard! Thank you Chase! I'm really going to internalize these points and change my behaviour and to please my Future Self!

[@sariejager1858]

Hallo Chase. You have the ability to explain concepts in a very practical and logical way. Often using " trance" principles as well. Seems like you are a saying : giving yourself internal permission for any positive change is the most important part.

[@abeljanosi8669]

Watching your videos is like rewiring millions of years of evolution in 1 go. Amazing content!

[@susanstone969]

I could listen to you all night. So interesting, keep it coming.

[@taracole6152]

Incredibly interesting and insightful Chase😊. Thank you and looking forward to seeing more content on your channel!! Also appreciating the behaviour channel 😊

[@ksmith1964]

Am I the only one who came here from The Behavior Panel page? ☺️ So happy to see you have your own KZbin and looking forward to learning from you. Thank you. 🙏☺️

[@annacotgreave8126]

Thank you Chase. I'm watching from Reading UK this will definitely help me to get my Pilates Studio clients back on track. Many of them like myself have lost confidence in lockdown.

[@Somewhere-In-AZ]

Mastering these skills within your family is a good place to start. Raising three sons, I taught them to take charge early. Nobody will give you permission, you need to take it and prove yourself. Make your own decisions and deal with the consequences. Nobody gets ahead alone, so be kind. These things build trust and trust is essential.

[@SB-jt2hs]

Great content Chase! Constantly getting me to think and reflect on scenarios and situations in much more logical and methodical ways! Thank you!

[@joniheke]

Easily one of the best YT channels I’ve discovered this year. Thank you for all this value- just purchased your book as well!

[@bowievision8291]

Thank you, Chase. I love your academic approach here as well as on the panel.

[@DawnNY]

I had my 14 year old neice listen to your words if wisdom here. These shorter videos are great for teens. Thanks and thanks for your work on TBP videos. Love them! 👍🏼💙

[@xavierryan4602]

This video makes me realise that I'm working on building my confidence, and therefore, my unfair advantage, and am more motivated to do so by my desire to help make the world a more fair place. I gotta sit with this idea...

[@iStorm-my5fp]

I didn't know you had a separate channel I'm so glad I found you

[@llaneloc]

From a dance world perspective Chase's idea can be tested and ok I can save you the time--it is the perfect advice to give shy people i am encouraging to dance but who are afraid of being stared at/lack confidence in a public setting. Dance is a contagion Once a confident dancer kicks off on an empty dance floor they are soon joined by others... I can attest first hand

[@nataliehessler6463]

I always walk with confidence and determination. I am ALWAYS Amazed that no one ever challenges me. I , on the other hand am not afraid to ask someone where they are going and please state your business.

[@StLennyBruce]

You are truly amazing. I've never seen such acumen coupled with your level of generosity and goodness. I'm going step by step through the x ray book. Reading, reflecting, practicing when possible and studying the Elements. During this time, I'm selling my apartment for the first time (in France!) and yours coherent ideas and techniques have brought me to a strange and wonderful place. I'm starting the courses from dust. My husband has changed, our apartment has changed and my perspective on the people in my community has just gradually being altered. Joy and honesty and even success seem possible. I'm amazed at who you are.

[@geovygener2895]

So clever how Chase uses #5 on us right away at the end of the video! This makes perfect sense to me as the viewer, since #5 will allow me to apply #1, which is the point... to begin the entire cycle. (Everyone, please feel free to correct me if I am wrong.) I have watched this video for the past two mornings while preparing for my meetings, for precisely this reason and it has helped me tremendously to speak up and share my ideas with colleagues. Thank you for sharing such useful content!

[@mameeocean6194]

My mantras are “act like you own the place” and “make it happen”. When you smile and show respect on top of it, you have open doors and highways. If you have charisma you have a recipe for success. If you happen to be visually appealing, the world is your oyster!

[@kaymarham5486]

I filmed a video today and used the advice in this video. It went niiiice and smoothly - thanks again, Chase.

[@something-beautiful]

I am binge watching your short videos and I love how you explain everything in a way that is accessible and adaptable for us. Never thought of confidence that way, I am getting way better at identifying other peoples bullshit now and not get swept up in their assumed permission ! Lots of tips for me to practice, thank you Chase ❤

[@Carmykent]

Here I am constantly listening to all those same motivational videos that I wanted to relate to but couldn’t. And only now I find one of my already favorite body language guys had something far more relatable. Thank you!

[@beachykeen2082]

Loved this! I listened to it twice and learned a lot. I know someone that lives his life this way. He definitely has assumed permission but it's usually not in a productive way.. He influences others and it's interesting to watch. He also assumes authority. I know the people he influences are not stupid people ( they are immature) which is why it's so interesting to watch. It will be interesting to see how life turns out for him as well as the ones that will do and say just about anything he tells them to.

[@kf12369]

Any updates about the person you talked about?

[@DreamingCatStudio]

I love these tips Chase. They explain how I was able to get a 6-figure position at a tech company with no college degree-in fact with only a few college credits. I’d learned my field, and KNEW I knew based on experience, so just ignored the whole question of a degree. It may also explain why-when someone stole my friend’s purse while we were out one night-I hiked up my skirt and chased after him. It was a subconscious reaction. However, my confidence shrivels when I get depressed. It’s the bane of my existence.

[@accidentalturkish9385]

About to go into a high profile customer call and just what I needed. Teşekkür ederim Chase Bey!

[@fionaewen6231]

Really liking how you frame these things. Your other videos are fascinating. So many questions :)

[@allegrac230]

Woo, permission for confidence ;) thanks. A great breakdown of confidence. ❤️

[@jeanieolahful]

You get better care as a patient and as an advocate. It’s really easy to get steam rolled by the medical field. If you enter that office knowing about your condition, and knowing what you need, you will get listened to. I’ve had to learn this the hard way.

[@traveljunkie1324]

@Chase-hello! How would you recommend putting this into practice?

[@BeyondTheOutterRim]

Great video! Please do more and cover more and thank you for all you have done.

[@thecomicalcon3441]

As part of my channel name shows, I can say you are very VERY correct about the con man portion. I even told my fiance the other day, the only difference between a con man and a genuine person who is just confident in their field, is the intent. Provided it's a con man that is good at what they do. Short version explanation basically. Thankfully, my past is behind me for over 10 years now and I have a beautiful family. No reward of a con could be worth more than a good family that loves you as much as you love them.

[@trevorwilliams1436]

True confidence begins with belief in yourself.

[@jamesclark6257]

Surely this is back to front. People that succeed gain confidence, they have a history of success and therefore continue to expect it. There may be a positive feedback loop but it is wrong to suggest that just appearing confident will lead to success. It doesn't matter how confident Leo was in the film, if he had tried to actually fly the plane then it would of been a much shorter film. In contrast a pilot would have gained confidence to fly the plane due to training and a proven history of successfully flying planes. Success will build confidence however unwarranted confidence will ultimately lead to failure.

[@chasehughesofficial]

I totally thought the same thing my whole life.

[@ldolan4051]

"shorter film" 😀😁😄😆

[@elletuppen4844]

Thank you for another brilliant and succinct talk Chase.❤

[@user-ladyJ]

I’m trying to reset my self and am using your work. Thank you for helping and sharing.

[@paulineamakres7286]

just listening to you makes me feel confident

[@lauraschruba4046]

Chase could sell me my own stuff. Amazing. I’m hooked.

[@simonamazzullo4786]

My daughter’s and I are big fans 💫💫💫please more...😅

[@quantumfineartsandfossils2152]

I am a magnet to competence especially covert competence that effects me & others that I cannot see to then experience someone who is covertly competent after positively effecting others is always a once in a lifetime experience

[@craigwilliamsSeekTheLord]

This video makes a lot of common sense, thank you!

[@mymindsedge2501]

Have ordered the Ellipsis manual and eagerly waiting to read it. Love your channel.

[@martinad2614]

Thank you Chase for another excellent video. Only watching with what confidence you speak gives me confidence 😃 I am working on my confidence and that mainly to pass my confidence on to my children. I feel that if my boys have confidence then they will have a very smooth happy life. Thank you for all your great videos, books and BTE :) 😊

[@MsTrouble80]

Can someone be supper confided in one environment but not so in other? Like be an alfa at work but be timid at home around family 🤔? And greetings from Poland 🇵🇱🇵🇱

[@diegovazquez7821]

I love this guy...thank you for what you do

[@littlegirl3263]

Authority-author/creator of confidence. Love it

[@aimaralopez2087]

Really interesting to see this video. And its made me wonder how can we efficiently teach to our children to have better confidence. If it is difficult to learn it to myself imagine how difficult it could be to teach it to someone else.

[@nco_gets_it]

confidence is not a lack of fear or ignorance of risk. confident people have the ability to understand risk and mitigate it in ways that allows smooth or successful execution of what they are doing. Confidence is rooted in your understanding of yourself. Know yourself/know you environment/know your enemy as we would say in the military. Confident people may look like they are able to take on things without knowledge, but that is an insufficient way of understanding them. While a confident person may appear to be without credentials, or education in a field, they are not without knowledge.

[@kferguson614]

Great information. How much do you think a uniform influences people as a sign of - have confidence in the wearer?

[@chasehughesofficial]

The role assigned offers permission.

[@ldolan4051]

I'll give you my opinion. LOTS! I wore one uniform and felt so good about myself and my abilities which seemed to bloom as fast as weeds. In another position we wore t-shirts, and the 'hire-ups' just called us "the shirts". Doesn't exactly boost any level. That was a good place to get away from.

[@kferguson614]

@@ldolan4051 It is good to know that you feel empowered by wearing a uniform. I wondered, if attitude was just as important and not because of the uniform.

[@ldolan4051]

@@kferguson614 Herold, K, Attitude is definitely the important part. I was happy, had a great support system, and encouragement in the first. I had none of the above and way kiworse in the latter. That was truly influential as well.

[@fionalozinski9211]

I do believe some people are born with more innate ability to be confident/be leaders than others, but I also believe in learned behaviors. A child can have confidence reinforced and nurtured for example. Conversely, a child may grow up in an environment where survival depends on becoming a strong leader, in learning and exhibiting confidence, in learning to read nuances of body language. I think these two children could reasonably be expected to grow up to be formidable leaders, but for very different reasons and in different ways.

[@rozdevin2468]

my ex-covert narc was so confident he talked to the judge in our custody battle that I was crazy, mentally ill, and incapable of caring for my baby girl whom I had adopted because I couldn't get pregnant; she was my dream baby after 12 years of infertility. He left me penniless and homeless and told my baby away from me. I was raped 3 times while homeless as I cried out every day and night on the city streets alone. People told me he WAS a con artist. I will never forgive or forget all the devastation he put me through. In actuality, he is very insecure, has no conscience and acts, and thinks he is above everyone.

[@NicolaMaxwell]

Thank you so much Chase, you're phenomenal! Appreciate your advice so much🙌❤

[@monikag7208]

You broke that down very nicely.

[@iStorm-my5fp]

Yes Chase, where were you when I was growing up? Everyday I'm learning more about how my parents screwed me over

[@AnaFerreira-kt8to]

Thank Chase, I will definitely use this permission you're giving me. I just don't want to act arrogant. 😂

[@furmisl203]

Chase, is there a resource to go a bit more in-depth, initially, before I can define my own goals? I saw the worksheet, but need a bit more help to define my direction. Thank you.

[@littleninjai222]

Love this. Need this! Thank you, Chase.

[@EllenGormleyCrochet]

Excellent! As a therapist I want to grant clients permission to share/process/progress.

[@JaymePaladino]

This is great info. Really practical and useful. Looking forward to the Phrase Seven tv series (if that's what it'll be called). I plan to brag that I knew your work beforehand! (What UP Behavior Panel). If you care about body language this guy's brilliant.

[@solongsofa]

Thanks for this Chase. I'm hoping it helps me at work 🙂

[@kirstenkvernsveen2490]

Thank you for the defintion/breakdown of confidence :-)

[@evanwilliams1199]

"None of your ancestors died a virgin." Man, what a laugh riot

[@siddharthakumarrai3192]

Hey Chase! I have been following u for a while, your Manual 14 , blogs, behavior panel etc. U have suggested The definitive guide to body language for body language, just completed your Eric Huntley interviews with behavior panel, any book u would like to suggest for hypnosis too. IDK if you will ever see this, but Thank you for everything!

[@rozdevin2468]

Chase, I am learning soo much from you!! Thank you..🥰

[@TASmith-ou3is]

I haven't listened to this entire video yet, so I may be premature in giving my opinion. Throughout my working life, I have observed many successful people who are not particularly smart. However, because of their confidence others often assume they are smart and reward them with promotions, bonuses, and perks.

[@tiffcali]

I needed this right now. Thank you.

[@MsSAMMACK]

This explains a lot. My brothers are confident idiots that have always had more luck and success with people and therefore business than I do always questioning and second guessing myself.

[@katek4514]

Hey Chase, I'm a bit late to the party but would love to download the worksheet. Getting a 404 error. Any way I can still get the worksheet? BTW: Love the Behavior Panel and look forward to digging into your other videos. Thanks!

[@joturner2125]

Same.

[@WeRNthisToGetHer]

I don't know if I always have confidence, but I have moxie. I'm scared as hell most of the time, but for some reason I push through it. I definitely don't assume permission. I usually assume that I don't have it, only it was not anyone's place to give it. I believe in God and that is where I believe my authority comes from. I don't really have a lot of self-confidence, but I have a lot of confidence in my Higher Power and know that it moves through me. That's why I can be bold. I respect authority within appropriate boundaries but aside from God, I am my own sovereign. I don't know if I have confidence in the way that is described here. Its more like audacity, I think.

[@caw7007]

Excellent video. Grateful for the insight and perspective.

[@stephaniebarrett8057]

Perfectly said Chase.

[@nhopkins1979]

Absolutely fascinating and enlightening!

[@dankessler773]

I love how this is like half Educational half Eye-contact practice.

[@mrsash4714]

Just brilliant! Thank you

[@mandychadwick6823]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 LOVE THIS. Its true 😊

[@beingthetruthofyou]

Giving permission to another. I love that. In my work I have a tool to assist the individual to 'hold' the other as 'able', or holding oneself 'able 'to be true to themselves. It is a step towards disengaging from co-dependency. Permission is a great word though as it is an 'invitation to be confident....the next step out of co-dependency LOL

[@millicentsheridan8980]

🙏🙏💃thx, ur giving soul is amazing!

[@dranandvarunachari]

Why did I find you this late 😌😌😌😌 Gem of a human 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@cheyenne_spring]

Coming at good time for me. Question though>what goes wrong for the people that you can see their confidence is fake? They think they know/have it all but you can see thru it and just see b.s. is it a mismatchbetween words and behavior? Or are they missing one of the key steps?

[@chasehughesofficial]

Missing permission causes uncertainty and reservation and reduces internal authority. It’s a cascade effect. Thanks for that insightful comment!

[@Aprillfools]

I think that those types think that they are all that because they have a hard time being honest with themselves (and can't face the fact that they haven't become the person they dream up all the time) and though they might fool some people, most will pick up on their facade fairly quickly..

[@mymindsedge2501]

I always say there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Confident people have nothing to prove, arrogant people have everything to prove!

[@kaylaknutson]

Confidence vs conceit

[@ldolan4051]

One distasteful behavior is when confidence is confused with cocky.

[@MichelleonaHike]

This was great! Thanks chase!

[@Melissa19f]

Thank you for this video!

[@laidman2007]

A confident person, if not careful, can fool herself into believing she has a bead on truth. I'm a confident person but make a point of standing outside myself now again to be sure I haven't sold *myself* a bill of goods.

[@Bismillilah]

what's the difference between being confident and bossy? I personally would love to be more confident considering I am more of a meek person and yet when I see people who are bossy and insensitive it pushes me away from wanting to be that! would love to hear your take on this Chase!

[@prismbrandingrealestatebra6301]

Confidence does not come from being just experience it comes from those around you confirming your decisions. It does not necessarily a sign that they are right. You can be dead certain and at the same time be dead wrong.

[@mikeblanchard56]

Take his courses, you will benefit greatly.

[@kaylaknutson]

Confident man..more like convicted. There's a difference between faking it til you make it, getting comfortable being uncomfortable, acting as if..etc. and conning someone..conniving..doing something considered to be criminal or at the very least immoral..likely resulting in a conman becoming a convict. The permission/freedom/get behind/support to go on ahead with something needs to be specified and direct. Sometimes people get too comfortable doing something not okay to the point where it becomes normal and you have to ask where that permission came from in the first place. People can confidently do some really stupid foolish risky acts..ex. being the show Jacka**. It does not mean its necessarily beneficial. Leo's role/identity he's putting on here is very clear and specific. Even what you do is broad, yet tailored. There's a level of responsibility & integrity that comes with it just like everything..I did enjoy video. Good points made..thought provoking.

[@vaeldsable]

Shameless is a good start.

[@sucessistherealizationofaw7876]

Ooooo you are using a rattle hiss 🐍 sound to get our attention on your graphics. That really says Wake the F 🆙 LOL 😂! If I don’t pay attention I’m going to get bit . If you’ve ever listened to Bob Proctor , one of my mentors he uses increased volume to get and retrieve attention back to him. It feels like you are in trouble with the teacher but he emphasizes neutral words like And which is in itself a hypnotic attention grabber. Live this stuff 😀👌🔑