How Crucial Are The First 30 Days of No Contact?

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

I have a special promotion right now. When you purchase the Creative Healing Course, you will get volumes 1-10 of the workbooks included in the course FREE! Limited time!

[@marinaaing5467]

I got the workbooks I need the Creative Healing Course😇

[@granite99]

Any advice on NC with a BPD? Going through the 3rd break up which happened Nov 13. We argued Nov 11 where I got irked about ongoing boundary infringements...the convo escalated but we seemed to have resolved it. Two days later she called me before work claiming she was missing money and alluded that I had been the only person in her apt...I had warned her a month previous that I would no longer accept false accusations...I did not argue or get mad on the phone but decided I was done when we disconnected...I did not contact her that day and she did not reach out to me. The next day she texted "take care" and we have not spoken since. She accused an ex BF of stealing money from her as well and he would reach out periodically throughout the 10 months we were together to plead his case. I will not be following his lead. It is so absurd to think i would jeopardize our relationship over a $100 bucks but I realized through my research that she goes through splitting so nothing we have done establishes any foundation...I even called her an emotional funnel on Nov 11...she probably saw the writing on the wall...We share similar lifestyles and goals and yoga has helped her with an eating disorder and addiction. I just couldn't deal with my boundaries being trampled upon anymore...all the BPD channels paint a grim picture about a stable relationship with a BPD...my yoga tells me there is a way through every block...I also realized that by staying in the union, I was taking the role of the enabler...not sure if any learning will come of this but I had to disconnect as I was experiencing anxiety when she would call.

[@mynors8713]

Is this still available?

[@dwocelot6913]

Move on. Improve your life, yourself. If your ex returns and you're open to giving it another try, great. If not, you'll be in a much better place. And Margaret is adorable. Wish she'd been my aunt. :-) Great positive videos. Thanks.

[@mohammadmallah1265]

Saying the words "Move on" gives my flashbacks when my ex had the audacity to say that after everything i put into the relationship. I think everyone's situation is different and have to mentally move on from whatever past traumatic experience they've had. My opinion.

[@meganmarie5609]

I agree that 30 days is nothing to get someone to miss you .

[@loverofbeautifulthings]

"You can't just let go, you have to work through"~~oh, dear Margaret, you were so wise and such an angel. We will miss you so very much. So glad you get to live on through these wonderful videos.

[@kiaravanlangenhove1255]

21 days in no contact and focusing on personal growth all the way! Did some painting in my house, starting my own practice as a clinical psychologist soon and eat healthy/doing skin care/walk my dogs everyday with friends or family. Feeling better than I would've ever imagined a few weeks ago. Not ready to date and sometimes a bit lonely since we are in total lockdown here in Belgium. But thankful for my healing proces!

[@aaronk4310]

Good Job

[@martinhebblewhite4659]

Exactly the same feelings ..... i discovered my ex is a dismissive avoidant .... now learning ... reading about attachment styles.... it does get easier Three months no contact now .... its her daughters 6th birthday today ... i.so want to reach out ... but i know i cannot 😊

[@SirValeous]

Update?

[@FacelessAlias...]

21 days no contact....soul destroying...depressing....but trying to focus...if anyone interested or going thru this madness of relationships will keep you updated....hope i can come back with a positive....first time im doing this....😢

[@carlosmaldonado5245]

How is it going now? I’m on date 21

[@Swiss_Girl]

@@carlosmaldonado5245I am on da 14…😢 any updates?❤

[@marinaaing5467]

Hang in there it took my ex 6 months. ‘‘Twas hard but I held tight to the voices of coach Craig and Margaret “ DONT DO IT!” at my weakest moments to break No Contact,lots of prayers too

[@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204]

So what happened after he reached out to you?

[@marinaaing5467]

@@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204 we are now dating again he is definitely an avoidant , he is 100% more loving to me. I shrared him coach Craig video “ Dating an avoidant “ he didn’t mention anything about it. What’s in the video was what he was doing to me which recently I learned from coach Craig I was ignoring red flags. My interest to him is reduced but better after the breakup like what coach Margaret said

[@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204]

​@@marinaaing5467 thank you for the reply. Is he a fairful avoidant or a dismissive avoidant? Somehow you give me the impression that the spark is gone or at least fading. Is that the case?

[@marinaaing5467]

@@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204 I think he is classic avoidant . The more I watch coach Craig and Margaret and working on the Knowledge workbooks I can see red flags he may not be aware of that he is an avoidant . I’m taking my time but yes I got my power back in this relationship and will keep working hard on my self with coach Craig and Margaret .

[@gamegirl8945]

I’m glad it worked out for you! How are you guys getting on now?

[@basicinfo2022]

He reached out on day 40. Separation anxiety for your ex or the dumper is the highest usually around 45 days or weeks 6 to 8.

[@airbubble.]

I'm with you Coach Margaret. I HATE when people keep telling me to "move on". To what, exactly? Half the time, I think they say it because they dont have a clue how it feels. Or they're so uncomfortable with evidence of my emotional strength, that I can cry, and feel and get angry etc in order to process my loss, that they dont know what else to say. That says way more about them, than it does about me! I'm still grieving and healing the loss of somebody who was a significant part of my life first as a close friend and then as my man, for over 8 years. I can't just say "Meh!" and look to some other poor fella, so I can break HIS heart in a few months time when I admit I still love my ex and break up with him. Why would I do that? I'm not a monster. Hurting people is not what I want to be remembered for! Don't people understand that's why the world is full of insecurely attached people who haven't healed and continue torturing each other with shitty unhealthy relationships that they are plodding along in, possibly getting mroe emotionally damaged in, just because enough people told them they were wrong to take their time to heal and process and learn and should just jump into a new relationship instead? Move on yourselves, people. Get over yourselves! Leave me to grieve and process! I'll heal and THEN decide what I want to do, when I'm good and ready and not before! And if I decide I want to wait for my ex, well thats MY choice. I have a full life in all other areas, its not like I'm going to be sat on a park bench with my lame cheese sandwich gazing intently at my phone like some 21st century Miss Haversham! Makes me wonder if we aren't, as a society, actually conditioned from generation to generation to be somewhat dismissive? (I'm asking this with my British "stiff upper lip" ;) ) Attachment issues this way, ladies and gentlemen...... Those of us that are secure, form a mutual support group in the corner, with tissues and ice-cream.

[@blissbased]

I'm in the grief corner. Go, grief, go! XD Team Grief ftw! XD

[@airbubble.]

@@blissbased You're not just coming for the Ice-cream, are you? ;)

[@vickyk8716]

Totally agree with you. It's personal choice to grieve or move on. No body can force to move on.

[@LonelyRider87]

Great comment. At one point I gaslit myself like well shit...is it really my choice if everyone thinks I'm wrong?

[@airbubble.]

@@LonelyRider87 only you can know whats best for you. and if its about an ex, well, you probably know them better than most people too. Let them think you're wrong, until such times as you decide otherwise. this is YOUR shit to process. Not theirs.

[@BexieAcosta]

From the time I broke contact (and started no contact again) until the time my ex finally reached out to me took 1 year and 9 months. We’ve been together for years. 30 days of no contact is not enough for the both of you. Be patient and focus on you. BTW, I love you Coach Craig and Coach Margaret I’ve been listening to you for 2.5 years! You guys help me relax and ease my anxiety! Thank you so much! 😘😍🤗

[@Yararar]

Wow that’s amazing, gives me some strength

[@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204]

What happened after he reached out?

[@BexieAcosta]

@@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204 he reached out again after two months. It’s what the coaches have said. Both are indirect-direct approaches. I responded in a polite and friendly manner. Not giving too much away. He’s testing the waters. But I’m determined to stay where I am and allow him to always come forward. At this point, I have set my expectations low. I don’t want to put my life on hold just because he reached out. And besides, I managed to survive without him and I thought it to be impossible. I just kept myself busy with work and hobbies.

[@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204]

@@BexieAcosta after just two months? But you are not actually dating at the moment? Wow, that's pretty underwhelming haha. My ex hasn't reached out to me for over 150 days now. But even if she does, I want to handle it as cool as you do. Don't rush things and don't expect anything.

[@BexieAcosta]

@@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204 hahaha. I don’t see the point in dating after even now. I really did focus on myself and my issues. I’m not that affected when a man doesn’t show that much interest to me. I’ve decided to not settle because i don’t want to end up with the wrong person. It will be a waste of time. When you show growth, strength and emotional maturity you become attractive to EVERYONE including your ex. Good luck to you and listen to Coach Craig & Coach Margaret. They saved my life. 😊

[@Phoenix-kd1we]

This is the only channel that makes sense about no contact. Every other channel just repeats the same thing without giving it a thought. This is the only one that really analyzed and gave me the right information.

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

Honestly, where do you think channels get their information from? 😂

[@manish7661]

Everytime there is a new video my anxiety levels automatically goes down. It feel like now they are here and my problems would now be gone. It just feels so secure seeing you guys.

[@Dan0606]

The most important part for me was once I broke through the barrier of not making them a priority in my mind, my life started to change. This is coming from being dumped by text in the long lockdown we had back in March, I didn't stoop to begging or even replying, I kept my power and self respect by letting them deal with their decision on their own with no fuel from me to back that decision up. No interest in getting back together, I'm better than that.

[@sepehr_moghani]

30 days is absolutely nothing. For me it’s been 10 months. Still haven’t heard from her. But I feel a lot better and I’ve done a lot of personal growth. I still miss her. I still think about our relationship and if she comes back, I’m ready. But meanwhile I’m working on me

[@supertbonegaming4234]

Hi Coach! I just wanna say Thank you because you helped me through the worst part of my life. Me and my gf broke up after six years together, well she broke up with me. I thought i was gonna die everyday for weeks but now after 4 months im moving on and I have met someone better than my ex. I am so happy and i followed you everyday for months! Your videos helped me so much! So to you all out there, HANG IN THERE IT GETS BETTER!

[@jkennedy5177]

Growth may not occur in 30 days, but discovery of where to grow, can. Of course that's just my hope/belief/opinion...

[@ThickCut49]

I agree, it’s only been 2 weeks since my breakup and although I’m still hurting I definitely feel better about myself than how I was in the relationship and I’m starting to do more things I enjoy

[@mioakisan]

I think its been more than 30 days..I didnt even count the days but since this video came up, I just realised its been that long.... my urge to look him up on social media and thinking about him lessen. I admit I had my time that I remember him but I dont dwell on it longer. I convinced myself that there is no point on dwelling on something that you dont see, hear, talk anymore. I want to focus on the things I feel, see, hear, and talk. I acknowledge that everything changed for the better and that there is no time frame when people have space and break up. NC works (win-win)-- it works on yourself, or it works to mend a relationship or even both. The outcome depends on your action.... The action is always NO CONTACT....

[@lrr2522]

Thank you so much guys for what you do! I just woke up in the middle of the night missing him and with this overwhelming feeling of breaking no contact. And came to the channel instead. ♥️ i feel better now lol and im going back to bed to watch my favorite movie.

[@gew977]

Thank you very much for your help for the worst period of my life you were my only confort

[@Damian-rc8tw]

I'm just glad I found this channel (and a few others like it) before my 30 days was up so I didn't try to contact my ex at 30 days. I am working on myself and I hope my ex-GF and I get back together someday. But there are all kinds of theories out there. One site actually suggested a 14-21 day NC rule. The most confusing one I heard is a channel that calls it a 60 day no contact rule, yet in the same breath says don't ever contact your ex unless they contact you first. So what happens at day 61? Nothing changes. Why are we calling it a 60 day no contact rule? And there's some that are a strict 30 days, in that you don't contact them and you ignore them. Boy is that crazy advice. I can tell you for a fact, if my ex-GF reached out to me and I ignored her, she would never contact me again. She'd would take that as a sign I wanted nothing to do with her and she'd probably unfriend me and maybe block me. As much as it pains me to say, as much as I want my ex-GF back yesterday, I realize I'll be better off if she contacts me after I've changed my anxious attachment issues. As much as I want my ex back, I want to make sure I don't drive her off again. I want our relationship to last. If someone told me I could have her back tomorrow but there's a 50% chance she'll leave in 2 months, or you can have her back in 6 months and you have a 90% chance of a successful relationship, I'd rather wait the 6 months.

[@LonelyRider87]

I feel this. Friends and therapists mean well and say to me "he hasn't called and apologized to you in a month, he's done with you, move on, get over it." Well yes, maybe he is. I don't know. They mean well, but neither do they. NC and self-work it is.

[@farahshine9563]

2 months no contact, I feel so much better and I’m doing the work books. Thank you Craig and Margaret . I couldn’t have done it without you. Love you

[@blissbased]

Thanks Margaret, work through! "Let go" is such nonsense.

[@Phoenix-kd1we]

So true! That was my favorite part of this video. Finally the right advice from a professional.

[@MissFaeryn]

Great video Craig and Margaret! Been working on the workbooks these past 4 months, and im at volume 8. It has helped me tremendously. Im over 200 days in NC, and its getting easier. Some days are still challenging (which somewhat suprises me) but i guess it takes even more time to be completely over the relationship for me. Gotta love when Margaret says "just move on!" - So true that people say that all the time like you can just throw your attachment to someone straight out the window. All the best Coaches, and all the best to anyone here struggeling through a breakup!

[@georgepanagiotou8673]

Hey coach Craig I have to say man it’s been a rough 2 months for me. But ur videos have helped a lot. Keep up the good work 🤙🏼

[@elijahw06]

I am on day 53 of No Contact and I miss him so very much still. Almost 5 years.

[@dwightschrute8141]

.Update?

[@juliandavid9470]

I know of a relationship expert who can help you bring back your broken relationship within 48 hours, she helped me get back my broken relationship after 2years of separation

[@yanabi83]

Update?

[@jessepushor9967]

day 108 no contact cant say I'm totally over her but some days are better than others

[@neptune4212]

I'm in the same boat as you I'm day 111 :/

[@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204]

Pfff amateurs, it's day +150 for me. 😊 Will probably take over a decade for her to reach out, dismissive avoidants are the worst when it comes to that.

[@skyfall1481]

Why is that?! I was coasting the last few weeks and suddenly anxiety has kicked in and fighting reaching out!!! Back to self improvement to shake it off.

[@laurai2599]

Dynamic duo- happy holiday season. You light up the days of many subscribers and others. Thanks for everything!!

[@lucysunshine2818]

I am so happy I found them- love both, and Victoria is wonderful too!

[@varnishyourboard]

13 weeks after getting dumped and I went NC as long as 3 weeks once! Saw a pic of her with her new guy and I lashed out. D'oh! 🤬 Down 15 pounds, putting on muscle, in therapy and haven't read this many self-help books (or any amount of books) in my entire life! I guess it's a win?!?!?

[@cleaning7953]

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[@cleaning7953]

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[@cleaning7953]

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[@cleaning7953]

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[@abhyudaytiwari630]

My 30 days of no contact are done and it feels like a lot of time has passed yet it feels so little for anything to have truly changed. Everythings still fresh. Everything in life is a process, and till the right stages are reached, desired outcome wont happen.

[@cleaning7953]

Hello the do you need help to fix all kinds of problems in your relationship including getting your ex husband girlfriend boyfriend crush within 48hours??????

[@cleaning7953]

Contact father right..away Text him now through whatzapp

[@cleaning7953]

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[@cleaning7953]

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[@Yararar]

I feel like I attached SO much quicker and deeper to my ex than he did..

[@sergiogodinez2496]

Same. These videos help!

[@marleyhill34]

I'm way more guarded now. I don't let that emotional bond form too quickly.

[@skullbeautyasmr5361]

Same

[@soniakalwan3190]

I think me too.

[@richardmartinez2973]

Same, we were together 8yrs. And after we split I obviously said I think we can work it out. She said why are you acting this way, do not contact me unless about our daughter. I said okay. I feel inside she seeing someone. I love her but, I can't be with her again if she was that close and intimate with another man. It sad I would have done anything worked on whatever to have our family. I would have died for her, now I have to live for ME.

[@sandrasandrasandrasandra2285]

You're great and very logical. My ex haven't reached me yet, it's very hard long 8 months!

[@marinaaing5467]

Hang in there it will happen

[@petermachiela5441]

U waisted 8 months of ur life

[@PB-md3nt]

@@petermachiela5441 I don't think she sat and waited by the phone for a call/text for the past 8 months.

[@dimpyrawat1054]

My ex came back after 6 and a half months.. They will come back for sure... Chill

[@Swiss_Girl]

I needed that. I am on day 14 of no contact…

[@dafraunz19]

He reached out to me after almost exactly one month, at this point I still miss him but I wasn’t thinking about if or when he would reach out. Been ten days since and nothing again. It kind of threw me back a little in my progress. Now I keep wondering again if he would reach out again and I also caught myself dissecting his message to get any clues what’s going on with him atm. There are days on which I don’t want him back and then the days on which I miss him so much... it’s a rollercoaster man. Anyways I was nice to him when he reached out, he more or less offered me a meeting, did not give him a definite yes or no.. not sure if it was the right thing to do 🤷

[@dwightschrute8141]

.update?

[@quynhanhphammai4653]

How are you doing now?

[@chrislim7976]

Keep moving and try to find something interesting to pass time. Know that EACH day of no contact is better. There is a pattern described and you have to stick to it.

[@bagolball3510]

Coach Craig, I admit I was a toxic and manipulative boyfriend. I also took my ex for granted (that's the main reason she broke up with me). I begged and pleaded for her to stay but she said we don't deserve each other. I am working on myself and I am wondering if I will have another chance (she gave me so many) to prove myself and show her that I can change? If you could do a video discussing if a manipulative person get their ex back that would be a great help. I regret doing all those things and I am willing to change. Stay safe and more power to you and Coach Margaret

[@marleyhill34]

Dude you can't have her back. You caused too much psychological damage to her. Just change and treat the next lady better.

[@bagolball3510]

@@marleyhill34 this girl was my first and I'm new ro relationships. We've been together for almost 2 years (we broke up a month before our anniversary). She said she's still into me but wants to move on. She asked if we should just ne friends but I rejected it because I want to be in a romantic relationship with her. I want her back but I guess she needs time to heal first and me as well. I want to prove to her that I'm not gonna be the same old me if she comes back (i hope)

[@surajswaroop144]

@@bagolball3510 seems like you know what to do, now you just gotta do it. Give it time and work on yourself. If she comes back you will be a better person, if she doesn't you will still be better person

[@marleyhill34]

@@bagolball3510 yup focus on your personal psychological development.

[@k3r0r019]

any update? did you get her back?

[@skullbeautyasmr5361]

Mine came back after a year and we were friends for 6 months he kept asking me to date but i wouldnt and i knew he was really toxic and not for me and I was soo sad about him but over time got over him and once I started to get over him he came back like u guys always say

[@nickm3911]

I cant believe how hard this is. She absolutely shattered my world when she left. Its only been 11 days. But we've talked in those days. 3 days actual no talking. She even called texted me. I just don't get it. I can actually feel pain in my chest. My body

[@dennisray8904]

How you doing bro? Hope it's going well... It's only been 4 days NC for me and it is heavy on the heart.

[@gordon12121212]

Margaret's words speak to my spirit 🤗

[@cristiinas]

So true..these first 30 days felt like 30 years.

[@jdanistheman]

What’s crazy for me is that I did no contact with a fling a few years ago without knowing that that’s what I was doing. I had never been in a relationship at the time so that was the closest thing I had to one. No contact brought her back to me but I didn’t make it easy for her. She had to win me back. We split a few months later and she still came back a year after we ended and then the following year. I knew we weren’t a good fit so I just left our interactions at phone calls. No contact with my ex is different since I fell in love with her. So many factors made it hard. My fling never met my family. My ex lived with my family so she was integrated in our lives. I was okay with losing my fling since I knew from the jump we’d never be together. With my ex, it was different because I wanted to marry her.

[@jaygauld85]

Yet again brilliant video, I'm watching a lot of your videos. I'm on 21 days second attempt no contact after we tried to be friends.

[@_mcknight]

We were together for about 7 months, she was the sweetest, greatest girl I ever met. Then one day she ghosted me out of nowhere. I know she was going through a tough situation on her job and I maybe didn't help by wanting her to come over for dinner. She might've felt like she was being pressured from all sides. So she completely cut me out. I asked her what was going on, if it was me or her job, she read my texts but didn't answer. Then I apologized if I did something and asked her if she was moving on with someone else. She read that but still didn't answer. Then she blocked me on social media day by day. It's been 2 weeks now since I went into contact and her ghosting me and then blocking feels so hopeless.

[@juliandavid9470]

I know of a relationship expert who can help you bring back your broken relationship within 48 hours, she helped me get back my broken relationship after 2years of separation

[@anthonyaclan9906]

We have the situation.. did she reach out after no contact?

[@_mcknight]

@@anthonyaclan9906 No. But some time last year she stalked me on social media with an anonymous account, watching every single story I posted. But I finally blocked her about a month ago. If you cut me out of your life and ignored all my attempts to reach out then you don't deserve to see what I'm doing with my life. I've moved on.

[@marleyhill34]

Well this popped up in my recommendations. Right on time today is day 28 of being dumped by my lover by text. I have BPD /EUPD. Borderline/Emotionally Unstable Personality disorder. I haven't had time to contact him because I'm trying to stop myslep relapsing into a distress episode. Although my thoughts and emotions have been extreme and I feel abandoned (once again. Story of BPD life), I've managed to keep the most extreme behaviour under wraps. Unfortunately my BPD/EUPD brain is still having irrational thoughts like jumping back into dating, disassociation like this isn't really happening and days crying in bed not eating or sleeping. If it's bad for a normal person, it's the worst for a person with BPD/EUPD or any severe mental health condition. Oh and my job is trying to fire me and my disability payment is up for review. On the plus side, I hired a personal trainer that I see twice a week. So I go to work two days a week train 2 days a week and cry and/or dissociate 3 days a week. I see my therapist one hour a week. I think she's fustrated with me. Lol! I'm fustrated with myself. I have gone no contact because I'm more vulnerable and need more care than him. He'll be fine. He's one of those people that always come out on top due to his family and friends.

[@blissbased]

All the best for you. ♡♡♡

[@marleyhill34]

@@HelenaSpells Well that feels incredibly predatory. I may have BPD but I'm not dumb or desperate. I have a support network of professionals and I do not help from random strangers off the Internet on WhatsApp. I may have what some people view as a character flaw with my emotional instability but I still have enough IQ not to take the bait of randoms , drugs or any other toxic, unhelpful, unhealthy, behaviours. I'm replying back because I hope this can let other people male or female know that they can survive these break ups without being taken advantage of or making the situation worse.

[@marleyhill34]

@@blissbased thanks.

[@rhosyregalado584]

Hi coach Craig I love ur video and I love your work and love you as well. Hehehe Every time I’m tempted to contact my ex I put on ur video to remind myself not to do it. You help me a lot.

[@jacobvanderhaegen8097]

Awesome video!! Thanks Coaches, you're the best

[@lukasmenkhoff9035]

Hi Coaches, could do a video on how to manage your self if your SO never formally broke up with you and just left? This was a long distance relationship between Asia and the US. It happened over a misunderstanding I believe. Thank you :)

[@Yararar]

Yes same, would also appreciate

[@angelacometa2015]

Yes please.....😔

[@sincebeggining]

God bless both of you!

[@JPBliss-pd5ox]

I have some suggestions for videos after watching several channels that I haven't seen addressed. I purchased your workbooks and had a 1:1 session earlier this year and I want to thank you and your advice and videos. Summarized here, since I got long-winded: if you'd get back together, how would you respect someone who won't work through issues through the hard times, and how on the other side, they'd respect you for wanting them back and you seem desperate, but you actually just care. Would you want to push them away if they did come back until they can invest in you, or just enjoy time together to slowly build attraction, and avoid that relationship talk at first, but wouldn't that give the vibe that you're there whenever they decide, and then they don't respect you? I think it would be great if you could do a video on why you would want someone back that ignored you/wasn't invested, and couldn't work through things, if they ever did come back. As much as we might want it, if we were truly content with ourselves, why would we want that. Either don't respect you for coming back too soon, or you don't respect them because of how they treated you and left. Where's the happy medium? Most videos of yours are on those who broke up with you, but I think many involve breaking up because someone might not be treating you like you know you deserve. I think I am torn on the notion that you have to let someone leave and come back to truly respect you, otherwise they will walk all over you and do it again, AND, torn that if someone did leave you and you let go and work through issues, and they weren't willing to work through the hard times with you, why you would ever want someone back that treated you that way. I'd think at that point, I may not respect them and be worried they'd just ghost or leave again. I see comments all the time of people saying stuff like that - that they should just move on and never look back. Some of my story: I had a almost 4-year relationship, but she wasn't invested, not wanting to spend time together more and more. I asked to either work on it or breakup and she didn't appear invested and just left never to be heard from since. I think me being her only long term relationship in her life (she's 50, I'm 41 - which actually was such a great thing about her not being like so many other women jumping from guy to guy, she is fine being on her own, but I have a feeling probably avoidant over something which I never figured out), she doesn't know how to commit and invest. I think she saw us as off and on again and just don't want it since I brought up not spending time together repeatedly and had a breakup earlier this year, which my gut feeling tells me she's hurting cause she wanted it to work but didn't want the off/on again part. I tried asking twice since to work things out but just was blocked so I stopped. After this, moving through the process trying to focus on self improvement and not just getting back to be together like the first time, where she never apologized and saw it as my issue for wanting to not just have one day a week together, I see the importance you teach of letting them come back to you on their own, otherwise they don't change and respect you. I wonder, though, why you'd want that back where they didn't want to work on things. Maybe if they were truly able to see their part it could work, but how would you see that, and maybe this is where you'd want to push them away if they came back and see if tables turn and they keep trying, and show they really do invest in you. I don't know. I still care about the person, but know I don't deserve to be treated like I had. Why would you want them back, and if you did, how could it be done so both actually respected one another instead of resenting each other or wondering when they'll be gone again.

[@blissbased]

I'm in that boat, too. Can we start a family, please? ... I think I want my disrespectful ex to change because my mother is a narcissist and I've given up hope concerning my mother... and my ex, too... but about my ex I had the hope that his love bombing was real and I was starving for real, genuine care all my life. ...in all honesty, logically I know he never had that for me, just empty words. But my soul still has to catch up to that. Logically I know there is nothing in it for me. He has proven how he handles various situations, as well as his lack of care, and I don't respect him for anything he did. My soul just needs to catch up to that. If I became totally enlightened and respect him no matter what he does to me, he would have to be on that level, too, otherwise....there'd still be nothing in it for me.

[@blissbased]

@Elizabeth Rivera aww thank you! ♡ likewise! ♡

[@sallysnyder3243]

Love you both so much. I don't know where I would be without you two. My Ex is bipolar and I was wondering if you could do a video about that? I think he sounds like borderline personality disorder also..it's looking like a hard road for me if I want him back..we felt like soulmates for 30 days then he started to pull back. We broke up after 3 and a half months. I'm so confused and surprised. Thank you for all you do...

[@adriedrake8605]

You guys help so much. Now im looking for him to let me go. The verbal abuse is out of control even states away now...I decide to work on ME and love me again🙏💪

[@cdpein]

Thank you Coach Craig and Margaret for your fantastic videos. I am on NC for a few weeks. I was with my ex for 7 years before she broke it off.. She has a son who I helped raised since he was 5 years old. It's his birthday in a few days. Should I send him a birthday card or remain in NC?

[@SupereagleChannel]

Ex gf broke up with me aug 7 ending a 10 year relationship. Started no contact aug 20... its been 2 months. Slowly i am realizing just to move forward

[@crnivuk7092]

Thats good men. I am now at same place for 3 days. U need to asume u Will never be with her again and nove forwsrd. I know that hardest feeling is to accept that because i've been there before. Learn from your mustakes and nove forwsrd. Stay strong bro

[@erinlarge5649]

How do you get past the 30 days though without being the saddest and devastated you've ever been

[@gesailer]

Simply: you don‘t. Had to live together with my ex for another 2 months, seeing her daily. Has been hell on earth

[@gideonvalpoort4235]

6:20 💎Diamond Solid statement💎

[@midnight9927]

30 days really feels like a 3000 years!! my bf ghost me and i begged for days till i told him that I'll leave and never come back and I'll never forgive him for his behavior.. Do i have chance? do no contact will help my situation? I love him alot i don't wanna lose him again

[@juliandavid9470]

I know of a relationship expert who can help you bring back your broken relationship within 48 hours, she helped me get back my broken relationship after 2years of separation

[@zaraz3425]

What if it is a short relationship? Does the dumper also needs more time?

[@marleyhill34]

They don't need more time especially if it was a short relationship.

[@iuidit2809]

depends on the level of atrachement! you cant put a timestamp on that.

[@teetoo751]

Great video and hope you had a good thanksgiving. How many days before you think it’s a big deal? Do you think after six months the odds of hearing from our exes again significantly decline?

[@Sarai0901]

i think i messed it up, we broke up on last April, and he has contacted me 2 times and since then, one in my Birthday back in September and another at the beginning of November, since we met in November, saying he remembered those times, i thought i was acting cool, but i think i was to eager, now looking to the messages, i didnt say i missed him or anything, but i did acted like i was just waiting for his messages, bummer. He didnt contact me again, so i think this is over, is better to get on with my life, although some days are difficult without him :( i am really trying and i know is about my attachment style and i dot go to a therapist, but sometimes i get angry that i still feel attach to him, it has been 7 months now since the breakup

[@juliandavid9470]

I know of a relationship expert who can help you bring back your broken relationship within 48 hours, she helped me get back my broken relationship after 2years of separation

[@preetyrahman7512]

Update!?

[@andressac27]

6 months today...

[@tonyrossi3814]

What if they never change, never take responsibility, never are accountable?!

[@BruceJC75]

I screwed it up, not terribly, but next time I’ll anticipate the breakup and be ready.

[@dandejong5193]

So I’m getting a lot of value out of your videos. I’ve done 1 Skype with Margaret and she is very insightful and helpful. I’m definitely starting to heal and grow from what I’m learning. I’ve got an interesting question for you however. What are your thoughts on the red pill stuff that all the pickup artists are talking about. Never take an ex back, never give a woman what they want and only what you want, never look to them as an equal ect? Just curious. To me it seems selfish and shallow?

[@thecurrentmoment]

I think the theme behind that stuff is to have a backbone and standards and take the lead, be assertive, etc, which are all good things.

[@neptune4212]

Day 111 of no contact and haven't heard a word time to move away and start over 😔

[@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204]

It's the 6th month for me, so over 150 days now since the last time we were in contact. Well, I guess that is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

[@marcusperez5825]

It took my ex 10 months

[@petermachiela5441]

Should have done that the second u got dumped

[@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204]

@@marcusperez5825 and what happened after she reached out?

[@marcusperez5825]

@@ioeuropaganymedkallisto7204 we meet up in person and I told her we going to work on it or I can’t talk or see you . So we are working it out ...... don’t rush back into things . Take your time !

[@nelsonbrooks9527]

10 months no contact..but I'm ok now..just currently confused, though not really affected, why are they disliking my posts (posts about my hobby and has nothing to do with them)? 😅

[@blissbased]

Anger, jealous, wanting negative attention, starting a fight, so they can reinforce their negative opinion.

[@jimbeanthelegend1982]

im glad I found your videos 👍

[@sjweston88]

Why do I want my ex to come back? He ghosted me after two months of dating with no previous indication that he wasn’t happy with something. If he can’t communicate his feelings why do I want to be with him? Ten days since I last heard from him I haven’t reached out to him but he’s still watching my social media channels.

[@akshats091]

Actually i made a mistake but i think I'm made mistakes i took her for granted but the main thing is I'm not following 30 days but i just wanna say a final goodbye to her on christmas after that i m gonna continue with my life coz i don't stick on hopes that one day she'll come so after that I'm never gonna text her again in life even if she come or not

[@juliandavid9470]

I know of a relationship expert who can help you bring back your broken relationship within 48 hours, she helped me get back my broken relationship after 2years of separation

[@cerimassey5218]

I would love to know how to act if no contact isn't possible (we have a son) and how to act when you are around someone you love and want back. I am worried i am blowing it with out knowing.

[@lovehonesty]

What about when the relationship is a term marriage and contact occurs regularly due “business”, living in different states, etc

[@nevaeh6789]

My ex said he feels burdened by our relationship; our relationship feels like choir, something he feels required to do but not something he wants to do he decided not to force himself to participate in the relationship anymore, but that part of him also wants to settle down, picking a school for the future kids, finding a community etc., but that’s at least 10 years from now, and right now he’s not interested in investing in our relationship, he also said all he does was listen to my needs and help my problems, but none of his needs are being met, he said his only needs right now is to build his business. He feels more at peace staying quiet and focusing on his other priorities. Can someone please tell me do I still have a chance?

[@Beatlemaniac1983]

Yeah, I can say that when I blew that up, the ex thought i'm willing to accept friendship.

[@bella7588]

I’m only into Day 4 of No Contact from my short but intense relationship. I strongly feel we’ll reunite in due time but right now we do both need time to work on ourselves. With Christmas next week & New Years after is it ok to text just to say Merry Christmas?

[@alvaroesqueda9112]

Dont do that. No contact at all

[@revezdenis4704]

Same here, my ex breadcrumbed me through Christmas and New Years 💀 even when she said a few days before the New Years that she won’t call me. She did

[@dwightschrute8141]

.update?

[@bella7588]

Update - I did not text him back in Dec or Jan anything holiday related. We’d exchanged texts regarding me getting my personal stuff back from him. When HE was trying to set it up I wasn’t available. When I tried to set it up he wasn’t available and he made NO effort after that so I sent him a ‘throw my stuff in the trash & I wish you all the best’ message. Never heard from him again. It’s been 7 months & looking back during No Contact it gave me an opportunity to really his toxic traits and I’m thankful it ended when it did.

[@aaronk4310]

@@bella7588 good job

[@dojocho1894]

lol been 3 yrs since my ex wife told me to lose her number...still haven't heard from her

[@Jennifer-di4nl]

Mine showed back up around 42 days.

[@Liz-dragon-street.]

They say the chemicals of dopamine and some others stuff the dumper gets by ranking himself above you when he dumps you are on the lowest point around 45 days.. Then the hammer hits hard!

[@Jennifer-di4nl]

@@Liz-dragon-street. LOLOL 😂 yeah then they do it all again. I'm on day 15 now all over again.

[@isyoboi8497]

Damn 3 weeks 😑 dying

[@raza3824]

Coach Craig not sure if you will come across this comment my ex blocked me but still has my daughter as a friend on Snapchat and phone. Does that mean anything?! Maybe you can make a video about something like that ur videos are amazing!!

[@raza3824]

I don’t have whatzapp

[@_angierah_]

Thank you for the videos!! I'm hoping you have something pertaining to a spouse suffering depression who has left ("broken up") their spouse. He refuses to get help.. Go no contact?

[@CoachCraigKenneth]

We have numerous videos on depression. I’d do a coaching with Margaret if I was you

[@marleyhill34]

Sounds like something more than depression. In my depressive periods, I had no desire to leave my marriage. Something else forced me to leave.

[@Iwish387]

Started No CONTACT today ans boy…. It’s literally the hardest…

[@yanabi83]

Update?

[@calebruck5317]

She reached out to me the very next day about telling me where she put my sweatshirt and shirt and told me where to get it and screwed it up and didn’t ask her to meet me so I could pick it up from her so we can talk

[@gew977]

Hello! My ex texts me once a week to ask me how i m doing even though he s still seeing his rebound, is he breadcrumbing me? I m always happy when i see a new video from you

[@georgepanagiotou8673]

If u don’t mind me asking, who ended it? If it was him I would pull away that’s not fair to u. He’s keeping u around “just in case” things with the rebound fall apart.

[@gew977]

@@georgepanagiotou8673 he broke up with me, he monkey branched the other girl and came back a few months later but was "confused"

[@gew977]

@Elizabeth Rivera i asked him if he s seeing someone and he didnt answer, neither yes nor no

[@gew977]

@@georgepanagiotou8673 they have broken up many time and he came back but they still talk and date i ghink sometimes like an open relationship

[@marleyhill34]

@@gew977 he sounds like he would stomp on your heart but bit by bit like the frog boiling in water. We need boundaries. I have BPD/EUPD emotionally unstable personality disorder. I can't be in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unstable themselves unless they are getting help. Not even a friendship. Focus on your personal growth and his once a week text will become irrelevant.

[@gentjanthemeli5548]

What if you have kids with your ex ? How do you maintain “no contact” ?

[@marylcampbell2409]

What if i was the one who walked away and decided this no contact rule, because i wanted him to prove himself and commit to me ..coz we've seeing each other almost a year got great connections the intimacy and stuffs,we rant on each other's like best friends ... We're on a unlabeled kind of relationship i asked space cos im started to catch feelings.. it's been 15 days of NC.. and its hurts alot on my side.. don't even know he's hurting too..dyou think he would reach out

[@christophermccarthy9497]

Are there any videos on like…. Why should I bother to take her back if she does come back? Because I’m starting to have thoughts like, I was actually a really good bf and maybe to good for this person actually. Any videos on stuff like that?

[@cleaning7953]

Hello the do you need help to fix all kinds of problems in your relationship including getting your ex husband girlfriend boyfriend crush within 48hours??????

[@cleaning7953]

Contact father right..away Text him now through whatzapp

[@cleaning7953]

+12

[@cleaning7953]

04

[@cleaning7953]

808

[@emmaLEE2667]

Does anyone think Coach Craig looks like Kal Penn from Harold & Kumar? A very expressive and interesting face! 😁

[@carlabaganha1618]

I love you guys .

[@vanesabarcenas3345]

Took the words out my mouth! And thank you for the subtitles! I’m literally rewinding it just to re read what you said. . Helping all of us grow and get through this ❤️

[@valiant.1]

When I’ve initiated no contact and my ex sends me a KZbin video on Messenger (without comment, just the video link), should I break no-contact and respond, or should I wait for her to actually call or text me?

[@jerrynelson9233]

Hi Craig. My girlfriend left me 4weeks ago from break.2weeks ago she got marry. She never had time to heal from the break up..so what's have I done wrong.she call and text me lot.will rebound marry going to work or not.please help me..I need to know.thankyou

[@juliandavid9470]

I know of a relationship expert who can help you bring back your broken relationship within 48 hours, she helped me get back my broken relationship after 2years of separation

[@Superpaul205]

Months?!? Lol she only get 30 days with me…I have too much love and respect for myself lol

[@cleaning7953]

Hello the do you need help to fix all kinds of problems in your relationship including getting your ex husband girlfriend boyfriend crush within 48hours??????

[@cleaning7953]

Contact father right..away Text him now through whatzapp

[@cleaning7953]

+12

[@cleaning7953]

04

[@cleaning7953]

808

[@JustaGirlKerri]

Its possible I may run into my ex at church on Christmas Eve - It has been 3 weeks since our breakup - I don't want to break no contact - what should I do if he and I go to the same service?

[@jonathansridhar]

Same issue here! I'd say if you bump into him be friendly but keep it short and socialize with other people

[@tinevimbojera7615]

5 Months we talk here and there it just feels final this time, is it even health to have hope in some situations . its painful i need ways to get him out of my system so i can move forward please

[@playalot86]

Hey Craig, I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether or not it's possible to reattract an ex through the use of social media.

[@northerncaliking1772]

I made a few texts when I was hurting. We had a 3 year relationship. I have now started no contact. Is it too late?

[@celsomeneses7879]

how a man with children in his former relationship can make no contact

[@tonyrossi3814]

What if she wanted to be just friends (ex wife), I said no and she said “bye”?

[@SiljeSofie]

What if you accidentally butt dialed your ex (but you hanged up quick)? What does that mean? Do you have do start over? Should you answer why you called? Or is this just the universe doing it’s thing?

[@ira4600]

I did that too. So cross with myself!

[@ira4600]

Just go back to no contact

[@SiljeSofie]

But did you start over?

[@jorgeandrade783]

@@SiljeSofie I would say just leave it and don’t say anything, delete their number without blocking so you don’t do it again and just keep going on.

[@SiljeSofie]

@@jorgeandrade783 thank you✨

[@bellasarai3167]

Can I use no contact on a person who isn’t an ex? I got friend zoned and have kept contact as the “friend”. What do I do?

[@juliandavid9470]

I know of a relationship expert who can help you bring back your broken relationship within 48 hours, she helped me get back my broken relationship after 2years of separation

[@fenituna1496]

Same, me too. Does it work?

[@americaneagleize3487]

So what if you work with them for a couple hours?

[@ChandniPawaskar9579]

U both are so amazing... 😘😘😘

[@tashaabundanceditzy5494]

They didn't work for me