How do you forgive yourself?

Рет қаралды 95,438

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 62

@sydney2396 6 ай бұрын

This is… brilliant? The shame makes me turn inward and hide from the people I’ve hurt. Grief .. grief is all about how much I love them and want them to be better.

@josephmbimbi 6 ай бұрын

compassionate confrontation. Giving yourself compassion for your wrongdoings and toxicity does NOT mean letting yourself off the hook. Turn a big bright light on it, understand where it is coming from, own it fully. Discuss it with whoever you hurt if they are willing to have the conversation. Accept whatever consequence, do it all with no blame, not towards yourself, not towards them

@daker1941 4 ай бұрын

No, my experience is they run, hide, or block. I have to grieve alone.

@marthab3364 5 ай бұрын

This puts to words what I've moved through over many years - to forgive oneself is a sublime gift - not just to ourselves - it makes for better connections with those we love and cherish - it makes for better everyday's ...

@laflame8286 7 ай бұрын

People don’t speak of self forgiveness often thank you

@Mushroom321- 6 ай бұрын

Right!!😮😮😲🤔👍😀

@smooches-the-deathmetal-bunny 6 ай бұрын

step into the loss is a banger album title

@saruul2618 5 ай бұрын

You are healing scars I didn't know I had

@toothless4799 6 ай бұрын

That shame that you described was something I never knew how to deal with and eventually turned into multiple instances of self harm, because of how ashamed and angry I was at myself constantly. This video and the way you explained how it all happens with so little judgement and so much empathy and understanding made me tear up, I have never felt more seen ❤

@fatoumataberte8624 5 ай бұрын

GOD loves you sooo much❤

@rabidbunny2705 4 ай бұрын

@@fatoumataberte8624 yes, it is incredible how God forgives us ❤

@MichaelDG2023 6 ай бұрын

I have been grieving the deaths of my mother, my college boyfriend and my grandmother all within three months. I have made so many mistakes. I can’t seem to drag my feet out of surf of my shame and confusion. This was profoundly illuminating. This is emotional alchemy at its most elemental. Thank you so much. I’m afraid to take this step because it hurts but I feel empowered. It’s a way through and out this quagmire of regret and despair.

@justissherwood9807 6 ай бұрын

I’ve been dealing with some recent loss in my life too. It’s easy to try and harden yourself to everything, to push away those emotions, because we want to avoid the hurt. I’ve been trying to change my perspective and reaction though; the hurt means it was meaningful. It hurts precisely because it was valuable and beautiful and meaningful, and that’s kinda beautiful. By allowing myself to feel the hurt of the loss of those I love, I’m able to grieve a bit better and feel like I’m giving the memories the proper respect. Maybe not everything was perfect, of course we had ups and downs, but that’s part of life. I wouldn’t trade the memories I have to not feel the pain, because the love I felt is far more powerful than the pain I feel. Best of luck to you, friend. You’re not alone.

@manuelolival949 6 ай бұрын

Honestly, I passed through that, I adopted the mindset of past and future me are my friends, I'll make favors for future me and forgive or thank past me for what "he" did for me, they my friends

@Ontwers 6 ай бұрын

this is beautiful. i struggle with excessive, crippling shame so i will live on by grieving these losses instead of continually beating myself up for them. thank you.

@indigobunting2431 6 ай бұрын

I am already grieving. Toxic shame is so dreadful.

@silverstarasmr2150 6 ай бұрын

I’ve been trying to explain how this works forever…thank you for putting the words together!

@Lollismeisterzone-eo9bz 6 ай бұрын

This was some random monday one minute ago, now I may have found the solution to all my problems❤

@lazarusfromabove 5 ай бұрын

Thanks for yourbsupport mate, your videos are human and on the level, keep it up. Cheers

@jeannietapner5016 4 ай бұрын

Hi , just subscribed , love your vids . Do you make any vids about inner dialogue and how to handle that if it's busy/ loud / critical ? And if not would you consider making some ? Please . Interesting that 50% people don't have one - an inner dialogue - this fact always floors me and I feel jealous .

@doomakarn 6 ай бұрын

The key is that you don't forgive yourself, but you do what you can to make sure it doesn't happen again. You carry that burden and turn that darkness into light as best you can. "Do not be sorry, be better." - Kratos

@vortigaunt911 6 ай бұрын

"yoshi" -yoshi

@Panda72021 6 ай бұрын

Exactly this. I grew up in a household where the words "I'm sorry" were rarely spoken, and the times they were? Didn't mean a damn thing. People would say sorry and then continue treating people like garbage, nothing ever changed. This is why if someone comes to me and says "Hey, you do this thing and it bugs me or makes me feel frustrated" I do say the words "I'm sorry", but I also make sure my ACTIONS reflect that I heard them, that they were understood, and that I'm making a conscious effort to change my behavior. "Sorry" alone doesn't fix it.

@FabianFroehlich 6 ай бұрын

Beautiful

@WilsonStrong-ht1gj 6 ай бұрын

You’ve helped me help my friends

@heryogi_25 4 ай бұрын

I love your content

@tordlindgren2123 6 ай бұрын

This is good stuff

@SamTheSunflower2 6 ай бұрын

Yes

@xx_br3du_xx3 6 ай бұрын

thankyou ❤️

@CorsaAbdul 7 ай бұрын

I love this

@sharkyvasquez 6 ай бұрын

So glad I found your content again!

@AfiDeSouza-qf6nf 6 ай бұрын

👍👍

@Mushroom321- 6 ай бұрын

" you should grieve " 🙂😼😲👏🏼👏🏼

@KirKitKat 6 ай бұрын

Thank you !

@Marianna1Lev 7 ай бұрын

Is there a longer video of this? On how to go over if you messed up and feel this way?

@jack2129 5 ай бұрын

Can you give more information on this?

@causeandconsequences 6 ай бұрын

I'm confused too

@jfrazz9729 6 ай бұрын

I told a friend that when I found out one of the reasons they might be feeling down was because of my actions, that I felt horrible and horrified. They instantly felt the same and sought to reassure me. I didn’t really feel bad. I thought they were a big giant over sensitive whiny little boy with his pants in a twist because he couldn’t handle being criticized for his bad behavior. But I strive to be the person who feels horrible about making someone else feel bad. Because if you get depressed because I said I wasn’t best pleased about the laundry getting done via text instead of in person, go cry more emo kid.

@alexicon2006 5 ай бұрын

I admire your courage ✍️🔥

@zanelight1730 6 ай бұрын

Hi there. I literally just found you, and your channel. Firstly. Wow! I'm joyful I did. So. How do I turn the shame into grief? How does that transition work? How do I genuinely know I'm grieving? What is grieving? (Is it that pit in my stomach?) What does grieving look like in a person's life? That pit in my stomach is more something that happens to me. Than me doing any of it. Lastly. How do leverage that?

@alexicon2006 5 ай бұрын

Think of it in a way where your ego is suspended and almost detatched in a way of sorts from the situation. That's grief. Shame is too self centered. Shame is:- "I shouldnt have done that to them." "I really cannot show myself to them again." "Do I start coming out of my shell when they deem it right to do so?" These are all statements of your shame. Its self centered and that might be hard to believe but, think about it. Its you on the inside and 'them' on the outside with the rest of the world. From what I think when I feel shame for hurting others I am protecting myself by shelling me in while leaving the person I hurt outside and grouping them with the rest of tbe world, in an emotional context I mean. Idk. Now Grief on that other hand:- "This is how I plan on moving forward with this which will prevent me from hurting you like this again." "I am lost so as to what I should do to avoid doing something like this again. Please lets have a discussion so that you can help me grow by making me figure out how I should be better." These thoughts more nuanced, stoic, responsible, and mature. And you can feel that the ego is more detatched here. This is how we act when a close loved one passes away. This is grief. In grief you open up to the person you hurt AND take them in your shell WITH you. So its you and the one you hurt inside sorting it out while you keeping them close prevents the world from affecting or harming the one you hurt even more in the process. In an emotional or mental context I guess. So thats my advice. Detach your ego from your willingness to improve from the failures you previously had. Trust me it will work wonders on your, or anyone's maturity.

@zanelight1730 5 ай бұрын

@antagonisticalex401 I don't know what to say, but "Thank You Very Much." I'm don't think/know if I understand the full context of it, BUT. I really want to try. I don't know how else to express my gratitude, but 🩷❤️. Thank you.

@alexicon2006 5 ай бұрын

@@zanelight1730 It's all good chief 🫡. I'm just grateful to have the ability to help even if I did little of it. I'm just doing what any good breathren would. Of course I'm not amazing at articulation but I did try my best. I really hope what I said helps you realize more of the truths that you as an identity are defined by ^_^. With love 💜

@saragoguen5056 7 ай бұрын

❤🙏❤

@BekahBookwyrm 5 ай бұрын

I love this and would love to hear more. This is an extremely helpful mindset, but how does the language of apology change? You still apologize, but do you give an explanation, which might be confused with an excuse? You go into it wanting understanding and accountability, but not like you're expecting forgiveness to be provided like a vending machine? What does that look/sound like?

@Lou_-xj9ms 6 ай бұрын

What is the camera you are using?

@RachelHudson-g4r 7 ай бұрын

I'm confused 😅

@Ilovelove16 5 ай бұрын

Okay I loved that someone said cuz it needed to be said right? But I have a genuine question...u say turn shame into grief but grief of what? Grief of the hurt tht the other person went through or grief tht you did tht thing....I mean if u use grief to draw people in and u do this everytime, won't like become a crybaby or something? I'm just curious and i probably didn't understand what he was trying to say but can someone explain this to me please?

@xoxjelloxox 6 ай бұрын

Are you grieving for their loss as a result of what you did?

@gliocasneko 6 ай бұрын

Full on existential nihilism were nothing matters so dun worry about it.

@Claire-tk4do 6 ай бұрын

Yikes, what a mood. Just got here recently, what do you do? I'll be honest I'm still chasing some kind of ordering force, something to pursue, something that I can name as clearly, definitely good and worthwhile, even if it's really simple.

@gliocasneko 6 ай бұрын

@@Claire-tk4do Just existing.

@Claire-tk4do 6 ай бұрын

@@gliocasneko Fair, that is generally considered preferable to the alternative. I like to do fun things anyway. People are cool sometimes, and making life better for them (and I guess sometimes me) is also rewarding for me

@BlacksheepSwing 6 ай бұрын

How do I forgive myself? See that’s the funny thing I don’t never have

@arnavrawat9864 6 ай бұрын

Magnus Carlson?

@premchawariya6464 6 ай бұрын

❤🫂

@dimitrisleo 6 ай бұрын

Use that pain and regret. Feel it deeply. Hate it. Hate your sin. Repent, cry, cry a lot. And ask God to give you a new heart. Read psalm 51 and ask God for forgiveness as king David did. Hate the sin. Hate it deeply. And take that demon out of you by letting God's light in through His Holy Spirit. Cast it out by saying to it "I never want to see you again in my life. It's over. Lord please, I understand now. I hate it. Please cast it out of me and never let it in again. Amen". And watch yourself getting transformed. May God the Father and Jesus our Lord give you His grace, peace, mercy and forgiveness. Amen.