How Hardship Can Be Good For You

[@pushpineapple8163]

Only Doctor Mike could look good in a neon orange shirt.

[@GSAtheUnparalleled]

I direct you to uncle Roger 😂

[@Heptite]

I think we need to define bullying in this context. To me it means the systemic, long-term harassment, mental or physical, of someone. So by my definition of bullying there's never a time when it's okay. As another commenter put it, sometimes mild teasing and occasional embarrassment is might be okay, but bullying is never acceptable.

[@NataliaPessoaXOXOMAKE]

Yes. I was bullied and I’m now 28 and in therapy and medication because it has scarred me for life.

[@marimoreno3095]

The difference between healthy, needed teasing and bullying is huge even when the line between the two is tiny.

[@mikeperez8]

The line is tiny, blurred & constantly changing based on the individual. The way my friends & I act with each other would undoubtedly be considered bullying by certain people. 😉

[@GiselleDance12]

There is a big difference between shaping our character and overcoming challenges and bullying which is a type of abuse. To use a comparison - to build your physical strength you need to do cardio and strength training and not hit your muscles repeatedly with a bat

[@Safinitzine]

I'm keeping that example, very well put.

[@mikeperez8]

It’s not a big difference though. A “bully” can be anything now a days. The skills involved with overcoming a bully are the same skills used to overcome abusive bosses, spouses, co-workers, etc. To use your comparison - you would in fact hit your muscles if you were into combat sports. Though, admittedly, not with a bat.

[@GiselleDance12]

@@mikeperez8 I see what you mean. I haven't thought about combat sports and martial arts, you're making a good point here, thanks!

[@kaitdid1992]

While yes all of the hardship I faced throughout my life gave me compassion which is something I value about myself, it also gave me multiple anxiety disorders and depression. All hardship did for me was delay me living my own life..

[@danielestewart5133]

As someone who was horribly bullied I would say there is no such thing as a good amount! My bullies didn't make me stronger it made me depressed anxious and now I suffer from terrible social anxiety! And now I see the effects of it on my own child. No child should ever be bullied or teased. No good comes of it.

[@NataliaPessoaXOXOMAKE]

Same!!! Now I can’t live my life normally! It crippled me.

[@mikeperez8]

Is it not better though, to prepare your children to deal with the wolves of the world? Vs wishing that they wouldn’t exist?

[@danielestewart5133]

I think its both really. But as I watch my daughter come home in tears cuz ppl are bullying her . Teachers do nothing. I csnt seem to do anything. What can u do. It's heart breaking. Kids are so cruel. No one help me. And it's crippling. It can affect u so much as an adult afterwards. I would rather my child not have to deal with these horrible children than have to suffer like she is and I did. Some hardship is good. But there's a point where bullying and teasing can be crippling. It can lead to depression, low self esteem and suicide! How is that helpful.

[@LittleQueen1978]

It's like the concept of a wildfire actually being beneficial period from the ashes is new growth and it's usually richer and stronger. I totally understand this premise

[@BombshElle_7]

The doctors did NOT say that children need to be bullied, and yet, a lot of people are commenting as if that's what happened. Rewatch the video. Understand that children need to learn how to stand up for themselves and their beliefs when challenged. Our kids will not thrive as adults if we shield them from every stressor.

[@Safinitzine]

The premise of their discussion is that the vast majority of parents are now "helicopter parents" hovering about their child day and night shooting every possible threat regardless. They are, themselves, blurring the lines between extremes and giving the impression it is a major societal issue. The original title of "How bullying is good for you" proves just that. The reality is that 90% of parents are doing what they reckon should be done. But admitting they are debating the actions of a tiny but indeed loud percentile of parents will not sell that man's books or Doctor Mike's KZbin channel.

[@BombshElle_7]

@@Safinitzine Thank you for that clarification. I didn't know that was the original title of the video, and I can understand how that would rightly be triggering for a parent to see. I'm an 80s baby. The bullying I went through is NOT the same as what these kids go through. However, my opinion remains the same. I had a helicopter mom who didn't learn to let go until I was 27!! I was fortunate to learn how to handle myself in school, but I fear today's generation will not fare as well. Btw, I enjoy your vocabulary.

[@mmgibson1]

One of the things I often ponder is how it has grown into such a movement to prevent bullying nowadays, when it was a routine trial of being a high school student back when I was one. I guess a lot of it is due to the fact that I am older (and hopefully wiser), and it is indeed much worse now that it can be done online as well as having a group of popular students talking about you in the hallway, right within your earshot. They say if you can survive high school you can do anything. It seems to be true - the geeks & the nerds may be ostracized when they are young, but they grow up to have the best jobs and ultimately get their revenge.

[@Safinitzine]

As a teacher with a 15-year career in all types of schools in France, the UK, Spain and Germany, and now the Head of Pastoral Care in a boarding school in Scotland, there is so much to be said about that topic. Which is why that video is every shade of wrong: the click bait and reductive title, the mistaking of "teasing" with "bullying", the syllogisms, the reasoning based on personal experience rather than proper life-long research. It's beyond disappointing from a medical professional. You are just looking for someone to agree with what you think would be good, despite having no experience dealing with children on a large scale, nor having children yourself. It is very easy to count the mistakes when you are not on stage and to mislabel everything in order to get a nice-sounding echo chamber.

[@henrywilsonwinter]

My class from the grades second to eight was really mean, so now, if someone says something mean to me, I don’t care, because I already heard that insult a thousand times from a third grader.

[@absp2006]

Bullying is chronic

[@judyfayegilmore8061]

The 2 subjects are not the same. Never Ever is bullying, Past, Present, or Future a good thing, or experience. Not with children of any age, Adults, Pets, or animals. Abuse is a abuse. Mentally, Emotionally, Verbally, or Physically. Nope.

[@Twilink36]

Exactly. I really dislike all the shortcuts he draws.

[@mikeperez8]

The term bullying is itself subjective though. What may be playful teasing to some, can be abusive to others. The “short cuts” he’s drawing seems to emphasize the importance of emotional stability.

[@linak7155]

This guy is unto some valuable life nuggets. Makes purr-fect sense! 💯 Some unsavory experiences are necessary to build resilience..We don't whiz through life unaffected. It creates an attittude of 'the world must bow down to me' or else! Many young ppl are sadly buying into this lie.

[@brazzaville5085]

Bullying is long-term and it involves not 1+1 child, but all group terrorising 1 kid. Also psychologists already figured out that it happens with the kids that lack support from their grown-up parents/patrons. And bullying rarely has any good outcomes. The thing you talking about is 1&1 personal conflict/issue

[@Vipera_Alba]

Good point but i wouldn't put it as a thing we should do with our children, because it can be dangerous and ruin the child's life

[@meherrborad]

Dr Mike please upload a new video on your main channel. Love ❤️ you.

[@meherrborad]

Dr Mike please upload a new video on your main channel. Love you ❤️

[@judyfayegilmore8061]

I disagree with you. Some children have taken their lives because of bullying, it's hurtful, and demeaning. I'm a retired Pre-K teacher and I have witness little ones bullying each other, I redirected that behavior. Not acceptable. The fear, it sadness in a child's face, not a happy, or healthy look. And then the child becomes withdraw, or put their own self down, and don't want to return to school. I also teach this to my sons, grandsons, and nieces, nephews, when I hear, or see them bullying each other, or someone else, I talk with them, and encourage them to be nice, talk it out, no bullying. I know how it feels, first hand, horrible and you would rather be to yourself, or you allowed it so you could be apart of the group. Just say no to bullying.

[@BombshElle_7]

I don't think bullying is being promoted in this video. That would fall under "chronic stress," and we know that's not good for ANYBODY. However, a child needs to know how to stand up for themselves and what they believe. That builds both character and integrity--two things that are severely lacking in today's society.

[@mikeperez8]

In my experience, people who have taken their lives have much deeper issues than just the bullying. I agree that we should redirect the behavior & reward kindness. However, bad people exists & will challenge our kids in every aspect of their life. I would prefer they have the emotional resilience required to be successful in today’s hyper sensitive world.

[@sarah.m7464]

This is so true!!! Ty❤for this conversation.

[@jeanettenfreeland1408]

I don’t agree with you bullying is considered harrassment in Canada and is illegal

[@brazzaville5085]

I remember one example when kid was successfully dealing with bullying without help from outside. This guy in highschool was albino (i had a crush on him btw) and had such a funny last name that literally sounded like invitation to bullying. He developed such an amazing sence of humor, that other kids I guess were afraid to joke about him cuz he had better sense of humor than anyone in class, best in impersonating teachers and sarcasm. So classmates never attempted to bully him cuz they were aware that he can fight back and make ppl laugh at his bullies

[@silentdays7745]

The video is great, the title is horrible. I think you’re great Dr.Mike but you’re a Doctor trying to teach people about health, not a youtuber making stupid titles to get clicks. Your titles are part of your teaching kit, please use them correctly.

[@DoctorMike2]

Changed title to remove the negative & incorrect connotation. Thanks for the feedback 🙏🏼❤️

[@silentdays7745]

@@DoctorMike2 thank you, just trying to make sure as many people can learn from you as possible! You and your editors always make great videos

[@raheekelkomy3862]

You're right, but sometimes it really hurts😔😔😔

[@prityislam2242]

I have been thinking for a long time that I will say that your Cushion cover is 😍 beautiful.. specially the colour combination...

[@DeDraconis]

For once I agree with a Dr. Mike video. This is absolutely true. I predict a lot of people who didn't listen to the video are going to act shocked and appalled though, hence proving its point.

[@flyguyrose]

While I agree with majority of the video, I think there’s a fine line between teasing and bullying. Bullying can certainly get out of hand which causes more harm than good.

[@annawood8912]

I somewhat agree. However I know what it’s like to be bullied to the point of having suicidal thoughts, so I understand why some people might be upset.

[@Safinitzine]

I think you'll find the vast majority of us can argue our viewpoints without resorting to "The truth hurts, innit!"

[@DeDraconis]

@@Safinitzine You'd think so, except I cheated and read the comments that were posted before mine and it was just tantrums. I admire your optimism though.

[@dramaturge231]

Love the orange shirt, bro! Where did you get it from? Good video!

[@NA-wq6qg]

You could role play and teach kids how to act when bullied. Not let them get bullied for real.

[@Jitatman]

Idk whos responsible for the original titlw but they done messed up

[@NataliaPessoaXOXOMAKE]

What was the original title?

[@felipemunozc.7435]

This is really a good way that we need some kind of obstacules or hard times to get trought, life isn't gonna be perfect all the time so we need to undertand how to overcome this situation since we are kids! totally agree just as you coment in the video short stress periods.

[@sodapoplove95]

I think people are nit-picking by trying to separate the terms "teasing" and "bullying." This video isn't saying its good for a kid to be harrased day-in and day-out. I think they are getting at that the "typical" bullying that most kids experience in middle / high school is "good" in terms of character development, learning how to tell when someone is a good friend or a phony (ie that "friend" in high school that ditched you when the cool kids befriended them), and overall is practice for youth to learn how to deal with complex & sometimes demeaning social situations. Some people call it "teasing" and others jump straight to the word "bullying" to cover anything from teasing & beyond. It annoys me when people jump in the comments to try to say these guys are advocating for intense bullying. They aren't. They are pointing out the fact that negative experience contribute to the overall development of a person.

[@mar_7055]

Do a podcast with Andrew Huberman Plz

[@emilydickens9622]

It's really disappointing to see this from you. Teasing a bullying are not the same because I wouldn't have suffered the way I have or seen my friends suffer the way they have to teasing. Teasing is how we jokingly call each other whores ect. Bullying is how the others scream to set off our sensory issues. I'm actually really upset you out this out here.

[@tootamaso5230]

❤❤❤

[@emilycrockett5728]

Interesting

[@fanouhartock2068]

🥰🥰🥰❤

[@Vipera_Alba]

What is this title lol

[@EvanAintDead]

Wym

[@Safinitzine]

Clickbait

[@liskad4835]

Well what about the people who become more fragile mentally thanks to bullying...? If thats in the video then im sorr

[@madz5308]

Oop

[@bstok-tmtm876]

wow

[@flyguyrose]

Rare L from Dr.Mike lol