How I knew I was GENDERFLUID

How I knew I was GENDERFLUID
hiii besties!! in today's video I open up about my gender fluidity including how I knew I was genderfluid, childhood signs that may have pointed to it, my preferred pronouns and the difference between gender identity and gender expression! I love you all so much and appreciate the love and support I've received so far on tiktok and instagram. you're all such wonderful beings and I'm so grateful for every single one of you!! happy to answer any qs in the comments below! all my love, Dutchy xxx

[@MsDickerz]

Thanks for your support on this video 😇💖

[@bubba283]

I love your videos, they help me as a closeted gay guy to deal with it

[@MsDickerz]

@@bubba283 I'm so glad to hear that!!

[@totallynottoast798]

Congratulations!!!!!!!! 🤩🥰💖🙈😲💙👍🤪

[@MsDickerz]

@@totallynottoast798 thank you :D

[@hylark4091]

No, thank you for giving me a safe spot to be bisexual and get away from my lgbtphobic family. And congrats!

[@morganlock2072]

“It is your human Dutchy” cute new intro! I’m so happy you’re feeling more comfortable with yourself and you can share this with us! ❤️

[@MsDickerz]

Thanks Morgs

[@margaretscrazycraftylife423]

I love being genderfluid. Not like I could ever come out, but it just feels validating to understand myself 🙂

[@MsDickerz]

It feels so right!! Yess!! :) we love and support you here!!

[@margaretscrazycraftylife423]

@@MsDickerz thank uuu🥺🌈💞

[@crazee_lemon]

Yesssss💞💞💞 love that for you🙌🙌🙌 Honestly same

[@tinakrisnaibot3233]

Gender is just based on sexist stereotypes!

[@cheezesmoker8851]

@@tinakrisnaibot3233 gender is based on sedist stereotypes, 😅😅 where do you people even come from honestly 🤡

[@nex9579]

When I was a kid, I had this problem when I wanted to wear more masculine clothes "boy clothes", but I also hated it 'cause of the way boys acted (mysogeny and stuff) and' til last year I didn't know why I felt that way. I started identifying as nonbinary, but I still felt like something was missing and I had plenty existential crisises and then it came to me that I was genderfluid and now I feel happy with myself. And it really cheers me up that I'm not alone with that.

[@MsDickerz]

YESSSSS!!

[@ilysukiluv]

Damn u just described me lol

[@apotbos]

I just found out I can identify as a unicorn, gonna go out and buy a horn.

[@nicholaslandry6367]

@@apotbos make sure the base is shaped correctly Wouldn't want it gettin stuck

[@TkimTk]

​@@nicholaslandry6367😂😂😂

[@OMKeeper]

Someone just recently referred to me as “they” for the first time. IT WAS AMAZING!! I’m fine with she/they, because of the ease for other people. But, if I chose just one, it would be “they”. There’s no pressure with “they”, I am free to be however I feel in the moment.

[@junkoenoshima2756]

Cool I go by all pronouns and when my friend calls me a they or a he I get a bit excited

[@lostinthecosmos6095]

same!!

[@stanvixxstantalent]

How do you refer to someone as they? Use it in a sentence, I'm completely new to the lgbtq world (I just realized I'm Bi last week) and I don't know how to use they them pronouns. I grew up in a strict religious environment.

[@junkoenoshima2756]

@@stanvixxstantalent it's easy what do you call somebody when you see they lost their keys you'd want to return to them and likely hope that they're happy

[@brookezerbs7229]

this is random but your profile picture? it has bi and lesbian. is that a mistake?

[@justwarm2151]

...oh. that was surprisingly relatable. Especially "I want my t-shirt to be FLAT today. I liked by quite feminine body yesterday and I'll like it tomorrow probably, but right now I'm borrowing my brother's clothes in poor try to look more androgynous and kinda hate my boobs for being that big" part. Good to know right words to describe these feelings

[@lajindigo]

yes omg same…i started binding recently also 💕im not genderfluid but i am a nonbinary person so i get wanting to be androgynous / wanting ur chest flat

[@Atmviola]

I have a very similar feeling about my curvy hips… I want to get men’s pants to hide them

[@PrincessofKeys]

mine aren't big but I also don't want them showing! A flatter chest would be great though buying a binder would help with that.

[@jimevans2579]

What so youre telling me im a genderfluid ever since I'm a kid

[@vi4654]

I can really relate to wanting to be accepted in the group with the most boys as a kid and also feeling like I liked both "girl" stuff and "boy" stuff. Luckily most of my friend groups have always been mixed. But I distinctly remember being in kindergarden/elementary school and thinking that I really felt like a bridge between the two genders and that if I were a colour I would be purple because it's a mix of red(girl colour) and blue(boy colour). Sorry for the long comment but I've never found something so relatable lol

[@free2binnh]

So glad I found your channel. AMAB, but GF, took me 10 years to figure this out. I am 70+ years old now, so when I was young, had to be in the closet. I try to present myself as androgynous leaning more toward a feminine look. I love wearing tights, LL Bean base layer clothing with short shorts over the base layer tights. My GF is forever fluctuating, but lately mostly feminine. I find masculinity a bit annoying, would rather hang out with females, doing stuff like macrame, etc.

[@MsDickerz]

Welcome aboard!

[@shawnwalk3099]

@@lunalee3021 how is this immature, they are being themselves...

[@Stardipped_Paws]

@@lunalee3021 Let then be. It's their personal ldentity, you can't change that or tell them they are something they're not. It's useless and stupid to spread hate online.

[@lazypanda6023]

@@lunalee3021 No one is asking for you to be here. You can leave. No one is stopping you 👋🏾

[@billbarr3960]

you are a male that is feminine - it is not that difficult. you are a male though - there is not changing that.

[@cassiebertrand8088]

holy. i was so confused about how i still felt like a woman but wanted to be perceived by others as a man. didn’t know that gender identity and gender expression were TWO DIFFERENT SPECTRUMS! you have clarified so much confusion you don’t even know so THANK YOU

[@JuliMaria]

Yess queen!! I'm from Germany and we don't really have '"they" but I feel fine with "she/her". If I'd live in England I would probably use "she/they". I label myself as genderfluid for a few months now and I never felt more myself💜 Thanks to you Dutchy! Because of your videos I could find my gender identity and I'm so happy for you too✨

[@MsDickerz]

aww I'm so glad you're feeling your authentic, true self! that makes me so happy

[@miasophia7121]

Dey würde es im deutschen dafür geben🥰

[@m.k.9572]

@@miasophia7121 Echt? Das kenne ich noch gar nicht😃

[@lena8192]

@@m.k.9572 ja, ich hab auch erst vor kurzem davon gehört, aber hier ein paar Beispiele für dey/deren Pronomen, falls jemand Interesse hat: Dey fährt mit dem Rad. Ich bringe denen deren Buch. Ich besuche dey. Also: Nominativ - dey, Genetiv - derer, Dativ - denen, Akkusativ - dey, Possessivpronomen - deren (Es gibt allerdings mehrere Varianten, am besten im Internet informieren:))

[@m.k.9572]

@@lena8192 ah okay cool, danke für die Info :)

[@Hellooooooooooooooo_]

I came out as genderfluid to my mom today, she is so supporting and is getting items to make my hair look shorter! She is the BEST!

[@MusicSetAdrift]

Men dont have long hair???

[@Hellooooooooooooooo_]

Short hair is masculine

[@MusicSetAdrift]

@@Hellooooooooooooooo_ If you're a bigot sure. So Thor and Odin are non masculine entities?

[@potato-nv8mh]

When I was about 4, in kindergarten, I met this kid whose gender I could not identify. So I asked them. And it took them a looong time to answer. And in that time I myself was questioning it. I pretty much looked like a boy except for my hair. I talked to boys, I did the stuff they did, I competed with them and fought with them (yes, still kindergarten). But I was born a girl. Everyone around me always told me I was one. So I was probably was one. But I didn't feel that way. It made no sense. I knew I was not a boy but I was no girl either. But I decided to go with girl because it was the thing I was familiar with. 8 years later, I experienced the exact same struggle. Just that I then knew about enbies. I am a transmasc non-binary. I want no boobs, no booty, no long hair and no high voice. Flat chest, normal butt, short, messy hair and a deeper voice is what I want. And the fact that it begun so early. Same with my Asexuality tho. When I had my first crush (male, still thought I was cishet), I actually tried forcing sexual attraction onto myself. I cringed a few moments later. I excused the fact of a lack of wet dreams with me not yet having hit enough puberty. Looking back, it's painful to remember...

[@MsDickerz]

thanks so much for sharing this with us!!

[@alysontackitt7736]

I can totally relate with the first part about your gender. Also afab, but tomboyish, not girly at all and never really feeling I was a girl.

[@alpharebel8917]

I relate too. I was always mistaken for a boy , and I feel very uncomfortable with having lady parts But because I have been told that I'm a girl and people around me keep trying to make me "lady like" my tomboy self couldn't handle it . At the age of 3 I was to be in a wedding, but couldn't because I couldn't or didn't want to wear the dress i wasn't & that was the most traumatizing moment I ever experienced being in that dress. They then proceeded to replace me with another girl . I'm also asexual I, I don't know what it is with me . Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy because I don't know how to live , one moment I'd dress girly to shut certain people up but I'm more comfortable in my boy sense of style, being a tomboy is just me breathing I don't know how to be a feminine female . Sorry for the long response

[@margaretscrazycraftylife423]

The asexual part is really relatable for me. Thanks for putting that in there.

[@alpharebel8917]

@@margaretscrazycraftylife423 I kinda thought there's something wrong with me until I realised its actually a thing .

[@hemaurr]

im a cis girl and this video really helped me learn more about genderfluidity! i was reading a book and a genderfluid character was in it and thats when i realised i didnt really know much about this whole concept, i tried researching about it in google but certain sources contradicted each other, this video was so informative, tysm! and to anyone reading this, ur so valid and ily

[@MsDickerz]

[@elizabethallen7193]

What book were you reading?

[@hemaurr]

@@elizabethallen7193 magnus chase and the gods of asgard! (its a trilogy written by rick riordan whos the author of pjo) the genderfluid character is called alex fierro and they appear in the 2nd book of the series, i was pleasantly surprised to see a genderfluid main character in a children's novel series ngl (doesnt mean only children can read it tho, im 16 and i enjoyed it very much!)

[@elizabethallen7193]

@@hemaurr Coincidentally I am reading the second book of Magnus Chase rn lol! Yeah I'm glad to see Alex included. Thank you for telling me!

[@hemaurr]

@@elizabethallen7193 oh wow i didnt expect that hshs hope ur enjoying the series! believe me, it only gets better! the ending was So satisfying for me

[@mylacollins9473]

eeeee! I'm so happy you figured out you were genderfluid! As of right now, I'm struggling with my gender lol. I might not be here to watch the video as it starts but I will for sure be watching it tomorrow. You are such an inspiration!

[@MsDickerz]

thank you Myla! :) here for your journey!!!

[@chestnutstudios9690]

I'm definitely more feminine. But I'm also DEFINITELY gender fluid. It just feels so right and I get to be confused about my pronouns for the rest of my life and have that be apart of my identity, which honestly feels good!

[@milkywaycafe.]

This comment was so validating for me. I like feminity a lot but I also like masculinity and androgynousness. For a while I thought I wasn't aloud to be genderfliud because I'm afab and like feminity but I'm starting to understand myself better

[@rulynnklapp]

lil message from a very young queer person (dw i am a fully functioning human i am indeed a teen lol) i found my ways to explore the unrestricted internet at a really young age, and after truly being educated about the queer community by the internet, i went through quite the transformation... i literally cycled through all of the letters in lgbtq, and after that experience, i settled on calling myself queer and nonbinary, basically the two most vague labels meaning not straight, and not cis...lol....microlabels make me anxious....ANYWAYS im so incredibly proud of you, i feel like a kid watching their parent find themself after the kid went through that transformation.... im so proud omg also quick note: please dont feel pressured to stick to labels you've come out as in the past, gender identity is so messy, and you should really just do whatever feels right in the moment, even if it feels like you made a mistake in the past or something. don't let labels overwhelm you :] PS YOU LOOK SO FACKING HANDSOME IN THIS VID

[@rulynnklapp]

also side note: it wasnt just the internet that educated me my neighbors have lesbian aunts and my close friend came out as trans in early elementary and pretty much all of my current friends are queer lol

[@MsDickerz]

thank you so much lovely

[@thatpoorsandersy32yearsago36]

Duchy you're truly the best, you make such great content, I realized I was bisexual thanks to you, hope for you the best 💕

[@MsDickerz]

Aww thank you so much! That means the world

[@CalypsoCassiopeia]

yayyyy!! so happy for you! i'm genderfluid myself, and when i figured it out, everything changed for the better. i felt so much more like myself :)

[@MsDickerz]

so happy everything changed for you also :) thank you!!

[@sea5063]

I’m a cis female and that’s how I identify. And I cannot imagine how it must make non binary/trans/gender fluid/gender non conforming people feel when they’re filling out a form and the only two options are male and female. I’m interested to know if that bothers you Dutchy. It bothers me immensely and I’m cis :/

[@alysontackitt7736]

It upset me and made me feel like I was lying/decieving everyone.

[@sea5063]

@@alysontackitt7736 I’m so sorry, that’s awful :(

[@Skye013]

I just have to assume it's for medical or legal reasons, but at the same time, i always wish that they have other options as well.

[@PrincessofKeys]

@@Skye013 there isnt anything wrong with filling out a form and put your agab as you stated for medical reasons but as I was taking surveys online some of them also had another option like one question would ask your agab gender and the next question would ask what gender you align with more. I feel like having that on forms would be helpful.

[@Skye013]

@@PrincessofKeys i totally agree! That would be a very helpful option, and at least for me, lessen the dysphoria I sometimes get when I fill out those forms.

[@finleygray9820]

i’m so glad you could figure it out and is willing to share it with us !!! we love you

[@MsDickerz]

of course

[@o.7235]

so proud of you 🤍. i’ve been watching you for 3 years now and seeing your growth as an individual has been a beautiful thing! thank you for being vulnerable and honest with us, your channel is such a safe space for queer people 🥺.

[@MsDickerz]

thank you thank you

[@chiarahodge6109]

Congrats, I'm so happy for you! I'll probably not be able to make the premier but good for you!!

[@MsDickerz]

thank you lovely!!!

[@chiarahodge6109]

@@MsDickerz

[@flobender]

What a beautiful soul you are. To be so open, accepting of yourself, with hindsight to realise things that are so obvious to you now but weren’t at the time must’ve been confusing. I am truly happy you are able to feel comfortable in the way you understand and express yourself. You’re love has reached the UK! Thank you for this video, I’m sure it has helped so many people who are struggling and feel isolated in themselves, KEEP BEING HOWEVER YOU FEEL TO BE ❤️

[@kaymorrison9574]

As a fellow genderfluid person, i'm so glad you found yourself. I have 1 note though: your spectrums of gender identity, presentation, and sexuality are not entirely accurate. People can fall outside of those spectrums, and not everyone is simply a mix of masculine and feminine. Non-binary does not fall in the middle of masc and fem, the entire point is that it isn't part of the binary at all.

[@cheezesmoker8851]

What does that even mean, do you wake up one day and decide "im going to pretend to be a boy today and find other freaks of nature to validate my sick wrong feelings yippee" As a person with a fully functioning brain i ask what is it that makes you think your a different gender then you really are?

[@Love-te5iu]

They did note that

[@johnc3525]

What is outside of the spectrum?

[@user-nu7jq8kt2b]

I love this because i’m genderfluid and honestly i never understood why i wanted to be the opposite gender so bad but i also loved being cis, i’ve came out to my best friends (who are both trans ftm) and 2 out of 3 of my siblings, yet i can’t come out to my mother since she doesn’t support lgbtq at all and is very very religious because of my grandma, which is also bad bc i can’t ever tell my moms side of the family that i’m genderfluid because they “don’t believe in” it and they’d make fun of me and misgender me for the rest of my life 😅 but still, i love being genderfluid !

[@missmermaid-lq1kq]

Thank you so much for this. I knew KZbin was the right place to come. It’s something I didn’t really realize I was struggling with because I knew nothing about it and wasn’t ever really around people that were all over the spectrum because I’ve been such a shut in until recently-ish and I started realizing more and more what I was feeling and that I don’t have to be female only and that fluidity can apply to me too and this video really has help me after finally having a life crisis about it because I finally decided to look at binders because of my issues with my breasts some days and I have no idea why I’m going into so much detail on a KZbin comment but it’s almost midnight and I’m tired and crying a bit and overall just thank you. I think I’m ready to step into the direction of figuring out who I am for the first time in 25 years

[@Sam_Hedgehog]

I recently realized I was nonbinary and im so happy! I have started smiling so much more just due to realizing this! It just feels so amazing realizing who you are, and I'm sure you will too! Peace and love to everyone!

[@MsDickerz]

I'm so glad you've realised that about yourself :)

[@3osprey]

cute cat

[@amandajohnson1906]

This makes me so happy! I also realized I am genderfluid, and it brings me so much joy when I find others who are just as happy as I am with the discovery. It’s been life changing, and even if I’m not that open about it to others, I feel I have a better understanding of myself. ❤️ I also never felt cis too. I struggled finding a group I belonged in. I was too masculine to fit in with girl groups but too feminine for guy groups to want to include me. Another sign I had was I would have dreams where I was a man wearing feminine clothing and I was at my happiest in those dreams.

[@hannahmiskovich1497]

I love how confident you are with this and comfortable sharing this with all of us! We love you!!

[@MsDickerz]

thank you!! yess well you all feel like family to me so that makes things a whole lot easier :')

[@jadeyndavies5070]

I’m really relating to everything that you’re saying!! I just cut my hair super short and one of my favourite things ever now is when cis guys say, “I wish my hair did that!!” 😂 So proud of you, and thrilled you felt confident and safe enough to share this! ❤️❤️

[@Wolfette-gl8vl]

Awww! I’m glad you were able to find and understand yourself! We all support you!

[@MsDickerz]

Same same! Thank you, it really does mean the world :)

[@cracksanimatics4614]

I'm so happy that you are comfortable sharing this with us ! My best friend is also gender fluid and I showed them this video and they cried 🥺

[@yazzp5883]

Shit. This video has taught me so much I didn’t know and I think I’ve come to massive realisation about my gender. Honestly watching this video is probably part of a milestone in my life. Thank you so much you are a god send.

[@bcwest619]

This is AMAZING!!! I've been exploring my own gender identity and expression the last several months. In all my learning, genderfluid has felt the most like how I feel inside. I'm AMAB, so your discussion of the "signs you missed" are exactly my story but opposite! Amazing!! This video makes me feel SOOOOOOO validated! Thank you SO much for this!

[@aiden5246]

Dutch, you should put your pronouns in your “about” page, if you’re comfortable to do so! - a fellow non binary person

[@aiden5246]

Sorry, i mean to say “Dutchy”

[@MsDickerz]

will do!! :)

[@aiden5246]

@@MsDickerz cool!

[@Justme-fc2gt]

You literally helped soo much. I think I’m gender fluid and this helped so much thank you bestie.

[@frankiefish84]

Thank you so much for making this video, I can’t believe it took me a year to find it lol, but I’ve considered myself bisexual for many years, and been in touch with my femininity lately but only as of recently in like last couple weeks or so have I actually been thinking about my gender and I’m feeling like if I have to label myself gender-fluid might me where I feel really good! I love you’re content thank you so much. I’m trying to explore my gender identity/expression and so much of what you said I can relate to in my own life, but from an AMAB perspective. Thanks Dutchy and love ya girl keep up the great content!

[@mynito]

Literally thank you so much omg, I can not express how grateful I am for this video. I was on an identity crisis and didn’t realize how much I related to your points. Everything from not liking to wear too much makeup to seem awfully “feminine” and always being in between the line/not fitting in, but other days wanting to be completely masculine or feminine. I was so confused about my gender and it drove me crazy!

[@a10.]

This is the most helpful video I found so far, trying to understand my gender identity. Thank you!

[@anotheryoungadultviewer1063]

I knew it! Thanks for making this video, I'm glad to know I'm not alone with this feeling, now I'm more confident about being genderfluid too!!

[@m.t.vandersmookie1150]

So am I!

[@libbyhunsdalevlogs6983]

I needed this bc I'm currently struggling with my gender identity 😢

[@MsDickerz]

here for you always

[@nah.yell.e]

I TOTALLY feel this. All the signs you mentioned are similar to my own experience. I've been going back and forth on using the term genderfluid but the more and more I think about it, it just fits. The thing you specifically mentioned about being attracted to genderfluid people/non binary people/ genderfluid people makes so much sense to me. I remember when I first heard about ruby rose and her gender fluidity and I saw a video of her getting ready and I thought "wow i want to be her but I also would love to be with someone like her". I also found myself loving people like David bowie and Freddy mercury for example who strayed away from the standard way that a AMAB person should dress. Like I remember watching the bohemian rhapsody movie in theaters with my boyfriend at the time and just feeling so attracted to Freddie mercurys essence. There's also this other artist I follow, the band is called Motionless in white. The main singer of the band (his name is chris), he occasionally wears makeup and I always think to myself "holy crap this man is HOT". I think small things like that make me understand myself a little more. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us because I think it helps validate how I feel and helps with getting a better understanding of myself.

[@froggy_b0nk]

Thank you so much for this!! I've been questioning if I'm genderfluid for a while now, and this helped me so much!! 😁😁

[@coffee-lc]

I ve been on a bit of a trip looking for these videos to find people to relate to, and youve really helped me :) thank you

[@Dorito_Dust]

Thank you so much for making this for all of us! Your excitement and happiness hyped me up this morning😬😅 I too never truly fit in around the boys (amab) and I never understood it. I thought it was because my dad was gay or that I was a sensitive momma’s boy lol. Always trying so hard to fit in or finding myself gravitating towards the girls and women when I was around family. There are plenty of things about me that are “male” as well, but yessss discovering gender fluid has validated my entire existence and I feel more whole and happy than ever!❤️

[@thatonegayicon]

family+childhood friends: deadname + she/her new friends/lgbtq+ childhood friends: preferred name and constantly fluctuating pronouns Also, Im genderfluid and bi! good with any pronouns but prefer any except she/her, i still use it but most people use it so i feel less comfortable being like "yea, use she/her for me" and lean more to he/they/it and neos

[@Lavettery1231]

Did anybody else when they were younger they had the “Man, it would be so cool to be (opposite gender) for a day.” Thought?

[@m.t.vandersmookie1150]

I’ve started to come out to people as genderfluid and I get so happy when people use all pronouns on me. I’m so happy when I can put an outfit on and looked like a stunning girl, or boy, or person. I’m glad I have a gender neutral nickname (maddy) and stuff. Kudos to all the genderfluid peeps out there!

[@robertmcdonald5341]

Thank you so much for all the great content. Ive been so confused (still am) about who I am as a person. You've helped me work out so much and feel more confident in my skin.

[@MsDickerz]

[@rileymallinson4298]

I’m gender fluid too! I can’t wait to see this video! I’ll be there!

[@MsDickerz]

yay!! hope you enjoyed :D

[@avawylie2766]

Yesssss thank you! I realized I was Genderfliud and while coming out to my family won't happen in the near future it is nice to know everyone else is with me! Virtual hugs!🤗

[@Love-te5iu]

Love it, I'm fluid and pan, love it in so many ways! Thank you for sharing Dutchy!

[@anti-hero6]

Thank you! I do appreciate the way you are truly happy being gender fluid and doing this video you're helping to find and understand themselves better. Actually, I have the same story as you, I never fit in female stereotypes and how society sees them as fragile, when the truth is that women are more than that. For that reason, I feel proud of being a woman but I was more comfortable with boys. Lately, I realized how free I feel when people use "he/him" referring to me; however, I accept "she/ her". Thank you so mucho for this video and to know that I am not alone, I love being genderfluid 💚🌈

[@johannas7428]

Thank U for the video. I know i'm genderfluid for almost two years now. U help me feel "normal" and a lot more comfortable in myself🥰🥳

[@cherylgomez967]

Omg thank you so much! This helped me so much, helped me identify and now I know. I relate a lot with what you said. I’m so glad I found your video!

[@Ay6249]

I'm so happy and proud of you ❤️❤️ you are like the most open and honest person on KZbin

[@MsDickerz]

thank you

[@jamin2284]

I'm so happy for you beautiful monarch , I just found out I'm also gender fluid. After years of trying to be what society wanted me to be FINALLY I can be my self and found out who I really am.

[@MsDickerz]

love!! yes I totally relate!!

[@ethebee5129]

so happy and proud of you Dutchy! congrats!

[@MsDickerz]

thank you sm

[@lv4519]

So proud of you for coming out :))

[@MsDickerz]

thank you :))))

[@parus_1671]

a friend of mine just came out as genderfluid. i didn’t have the heart to ask her but as i’m learning more this one question still perplexes me. how does a preference in certain types of clothing or activities, or even a feeling, change your gender? isn't it only a change in gender expression? i relate to a lot of your experiences. i’ve had both ”boyish” and "girly" hobbies during my life, never liked dresses or heels (i didn't even like being called a girl as a child), yet i can’t grasp why that would make me a man in any shape. or less of a woman for that matter. aren't we just pushing gender stereotypes, giving in on how certain groups of people are "meant to look like", if these types of things change your identity and make you one gender or another?

[@col8179]

The rest of the world is asking the same question, with no answer. The gender narrative is meant to divide, nothing more. These people are the pawns.

[@weirdnerdygoat]

that's a debate in the trans community too! :D So, the clothing and activities are the gender expression. They're societally related to different genders, because that's how our society worked so far, and therefore because of the societal association it may feel gender affirming to do the societal activities, or you might do them to be viewed more as that gender. (For example wearing masc clothes because you subconsciously want to be viewed as a man for example) Of course, societal gender expression doesn't align with everyone's gender, and recently in the trans community there's more and more trans people who don't align with gender stereotypes. However, some people still find comfort in it! "A feeling" is basically all there is to gender once you separate it from sex. Gender is a social construct. And most people can feel a feeling of that construct somehow- that IS their gender. Now, if you can't feel that feeling of gender or if it's the same as your gender assigned at birth, it's very difficult to understand this. It's a complex feeling that doesn't really make sense, is indescribable, but is real and important to people. Kind of like romantic love I suppose. But yes, the pushing gender stereotypes is a discussion that exists in the trans community. However, overall we have to let people do what's comfortable for them. Luckily there's more and more gender non conforming trans folk (think trans boys in dresses), which kind of equals out the gender stereotypes hopefully! sorry if that didn't make sense, feel free to ask for clarification, I am way too tired. Also don't be afraid to ask your friend!

[@tyragerritsen3078]

Thank you so much! I love watching your videos it makes me feel so comfortable 🤌🏼❣️, I realised I was omni because of you! Also I’m proud of you!!

[@catdesousa9348]

Love your new intro Dutchy,

[@MsDickerz]

thank you :')

[@connie8605]

So proud of you Dutchy!!! Your videos have helped me so much bestie

[@MsDickerz]

thank you bestie

[@nadiaturovskiy9869]

I'm so so happy for you Dutchy!! ❤️ you helped me figure out that i am bisexual and I am so happy that you are figuring out yourself! Love you Dutchy, you are the best! 🥰😍❤️🥺

[@MsDickerz]

thank you Nadia!!

[@capercaillieskye]

There were SOOOO many signs I was lesbian all growing up, and I still didn't know until I was in my twenties XD It's different than gender identity of course, but I can definitely relate to the feeling of "I should have known, why didn't I know?!" :3

[@lazypanda6023]

I’m gender fluid too! And your the first gender fluid person I have seen making a “How I knew” video thank you! 😊

[@cassieisnothere]

Thank you. I'm struggling with figuring out my gender currently and recently I was wondering whether I might be genderfluid and you just helped me realize some things

[@juliestarlightfairy5849]

I've never felt so heared and understood...dude... love it thank you so much for sharing!

[@blazelightshine2311]

Congrats Dutchy!! To me, my sexual and romantic orientation are kinda separate. Connected, ish, but separate. So 4 of those for me, I guess. But uh, congrats on figuring that out! Retrospect when you realize part of your identity is always a fun part of it.

[@MsDickerz]

thank you & thanks for sharing

[@Countdown2Cacophony]

I love these videos of people just describing their experiences. I’m nonbinary but partially gender fluid since some days I feel more masculine or feminine but most of the time I’m just an odd spot in the middle. It’s fun seeing what experiences we have in common and keep up the educational content 👍

[@ThornForTheWynn]

Good to find a video about this! I myself am demifluid, and I really appreciate you talking about your experiences. Cheers!

[@MsDickerz]

[@devingibson3719]

Thank you! Iv been dealing with my dysphoria for the past couple days because I decided to grow a beard. It's so nice to be reminded that others have similar issues. I came out as gender fluid a year or two ago and still trying to figure out my look. People tell me it looks like I have three personalities in my closet because I have my masculine, feminine, and neutral cloths in there. Trying to reinvent myself again. Thinking of being bald/hairless. I'm all over the place lol

[@bladygw2]

The hair issue is quite a bother, I go by long hair and two kind of heads with me (a very maskulin and very female one). I can always hide the long hair when I need that or the sun annoys me. Also being into cosplay helps a lot with all the wigs 😊.

[@nurzahidahrashidi]

It's been 2 years I've accepted my gender fluidity and amongst friends, they are very accepting if I'm masc or fem. My sister also asked me the other day about my pronouns and it made me smile so much. Thanks to u and keara for showing me this identity that helps me accept who I am (just today I hung out with a group of guys from a community and my female friends were busy. But despite my afab, my male friends accepted me like I was one of them since I Masculine and I loved it)

[@maeve....]

so happy for you!!! ♥♥

[@shaynemetchek7614]

we will support you no matter what! Love you Duchy!!!♥🏳‍🌈

[@MsDickerz]

thank you Shay

[@genevievewalsh2007]

This is so helpful! Thank you so much for sharing this with the internet.

[@danssaddimple9133]

this is not directed at dutchy and i'm not saying they aren't nonbinary. however i've noticed some things that i'd like to address. there's been a huge rise in afab people in the recent years identifying as nonbinary/trans and yes, it's true that people are just more aware of the different gender identities but i also think that some individuals may end up 'wrongly' identifying as nb/trans. it's common to feel like you're not like the other girls and not being able to relate to them. that's most likely due to internalized misogyny and the sexist gender roles in our society. there is no one way to be a woman, you can be as masculine as ever and still be a 100% woman. there's beauty in being different, we don't have to fit into a mold. it's very misogynistic in fact to think "oh i'm not as feminine as the other girls so that must mean i'm therefore not a woman at all". we're trying to get rid of gender roles, but this kind of ideology is just reinforcing them. it's like we're going backwards in feminism. the actual difference between trans and cis people is that trans people experience gender dysphoria. to say that you can be trans and not have any gender dysphoria is literally so harmful, it implies that being trans is somehow a choice, which it definitely isn't. it's the same thing as sayng "i'm a lesbian, but i'm only attracted to men". but also cis people may experience some gender dysphoria, which quite often is actually body dysmorphia. or a mental health issue like an eating disorder or s3xual trauma which can cause someone to dislike their body.

[@keyboarddancers7751]

The power of the internet.

[@idkhowbutitsvickie6088]

So so proud of you Dutchy! Welcome to the gender nonconforming club :)

[@MsDickerz]

thank you so much !!

[@lana_va]

you look amazing dutchy omg 💗

[@MsDickerz]

thanks so much aw~

[@terryreed6862]

this made me feel validated in a way that I can't describe

[@yareliramirez2189]

So proud of you Dutchy 🤍

[@MsDickerz]

thank you so much eep

[@kisskiss6866]

Congrats on coming out, Dutchy! In love with the new intro and it's so good to see you GLOWING with this new exploration about yourself ❤️ may I ask, how did Frase react when you told him (if you've told him)? I hope it went well, he seems super cute and supportive 😁

[@MsDickerz]

thank you! :)

[@MsDickerz]

yess he reacted super well! he's an absolute sweetheart :)

[@bow865]

I love being an ocean of gender and i cant wait to be able to play with how i precent myself when i grow up!

[@camilaleiva3480]

This helped me a lot! I love your energy, youre a beautiful person. I started to question my sexuality first and then my gender and I was and also even now am so confused, but this video... wow.... a lot of things just make a lot of o sense for me. So, thank you, thank you, thank you 😭💕💖

[@StrykerMagnum]

Thanks for this video, Im constantly fighting being raised cishet and only recently really understanding the depth of gender and how I can understand that and feel that. Figuring out your gender as an adult has its upsides, but the major downside is having to constantly fight the instinct to revert to how you were socialized.

[@ienarii6123]

The thing I hate about being genderfluid is that I wake up suddenly at like 3am and have a gender crisis. What most people get wrong is that being genderfluid is not what you can choose everyday, it literally controls you.

[@Bfly1993Health]

This is so wild to watch. I'm still learning about myself and why I feel how I feel. The childhood part really hit me. I was SO down when my dad told me I couldn't play football with my brothers because I was a girl. I ALWAYS wanted short hair, but my mom didn't let me cut it shorter than my shoulders. When I first found out I was growing into a woman, I thought the buds were literally cancer, but my mom took me to the doctor and he told me I was just growing breasts. Tell me why I was disappointed 😂? I walked out with my head down. Now I'm questioning it all. My go to outfit was cargo pants and my brother's oversized hoodies. I adored skater shoes and fixing my laces like my guy friends. Growing up, I think the adult world molded me into what I believed people felt nore comfortable seeing. I'm a girl.... what should a girl do? What do women wear? How do they look? I started to fear standing out. Makeup helped me feel like I could fit in and it has been my real expression for so long now. when I was a youngster, I didn't think twice about it fitting in. I loved my clothes. Now, I am confused every day about how I want to feel and be seen. So much self work goes into this. Thanks for this video ❤

[@Navanstri181]

Sorry I’m really late but I’m really happy you finally feel like you found that missing piece, I myself am also Genderfluid am I also feel super comfortable with my gender as well so congratulations on figuring out your gender identity! :3

[@MsDickerz]

thank you :')

[@aeaeaea1226]

I evaded to admit that I'm genderfluid like the plague because that would mean I need to acknowledge my constant "Ugh I really don't present my gender rn" and I would need to accept the fact that it'd be even harder to present my gender the way I feel it since it's changing literally all the time (Being one gendered only seemed so easier). But, the truth is the truth.

[@niashq]

I’ve been questioning my gender a lot lately, and SO much of what you said clicked with me, so many shared experiences. I think I might be genderfluid or nonbinary.

[@spicymocha1464]

As a kid I always felt as if I had to pick a side, I fell in love with feminine stuff, some days I wanted to wear skirts and act like the girl I'm supposed to, but I also love masculine things and gender neutral items made me feel whole. but society stated that you have to be a girly girly or a "tomboy" and I always felt conflicted within myself. it was until yesterday where I saw a gender fluid TikTok complementation and I realized...."wait, this all applies to me" and I'm so happy because I know my gender identity and it feels so right and free and .. ARUGGG 😆😆😆

[@kega4062]

I also feel VERY uncomfortable looking “too feminine” some days!! Am I the only one who REALLY wishes I could grow my own beard?! (as a cis woman)

[@azhukova1997]

When I was a teen I would sometimes wished I could

[@kevmccormack9857]

Greetings from Scotland. Thanks for your positive vibes . You just set me up for the day. Really nice to see you so happy. Have a great day Kev xx

[@StarsStillHere]

Aaaah, this video is so cool😢💕! My heart is so full seeing all these people on youtube nowadays identify as genderfluid or otherwise nonbinary! When I found out about my genderfluidity and considered it as an option, I was quickly led into a state of denial. On every video about genderfluid people I would watch, people were being really ignorant in the comments. 50% of videos I could find about it otherwise were cringe compilations and conservative commentary videos. Facebook, reddit, most other social media platforms boosted people shouting blatant transphobia/nbphobia. This is still true nowadays, unfortunately. But when I was going through puberty, huge shirts and sports bras were my best friends. I tended to look up to guys in the media more than women, even in media written by women! Being called a girl, a woman, a female, sometimes its okay. Same went for man, boy, guy, and dude (though, it was rare I got called anything masculine.) Sometimes I am okay with both, sometimes one or the other, and sometimes neither! My friends were not really supportive of me trying on they/them pronouns at first, and I'm struggling to stand up to them, which is making it really hard to accept this part of myself. But people I identify similarly to, like you, are finally gaining some traction! Ah, it makes me feel so warm 💖🤗. Thanks so much for this vid.

[@rainbowmmm6753]

I have been having severe gender dysphoria lately this is really eye opening thank you

[@MsDickerz]

here for you

[@jalahr]

This was one of the most helpful videos Iv seen on the subject, thank you for sharing

[@Zerethos]

I remember some of my childhood memories where I was playing with my sister’s Barbie dolls and how okay I was with it. Then came high school where we had this one event, I can’t remember much of it but one thing I do remember was having hardly any trouble putting on high heels and running in them in front of the school. Then I got introduced to My Little Pony G4 and pretty much became a Brony and then later a low level furry. I’m still a Christian gentleman and identify myself as male and stick with it, I like attractive women but not overly attractive ones nor do I want to get intimate with them (you know what I mean) and sometimes I find myself doing some feminine things like walking in a particular way and posing (only when I know I’m alone and no one will see me) I’m starting to see myself possibly dressing a bit feminine and I have even drawn some pictures of my OC as a female furry and dream myself as one. I’m still sticking to being a guy but the fantasy is not lost on me, I even admitted to my family that I’m possibly non binary and they’re alright with it but with what I’ve written here I don’t know what the exact definition is that describes me. I don’t see a girl as “a girl” I see “just another person” and same with “a guy”

[@rileycooper6709]

HOA AM I JUST SEEING THIS Dutchy I have watched you for years and recently am coming to terms with my own gender fluidity so this video could not have come at a more appropriate time :)

[@Prisbooklife]

You’re amazing Dutchy❤️

[@MsDickerz]

you are

[@adriannamonsivais716]

After about a year of struggling, I have finally come to the conclusion that I am genderfluid. After watching this video, everything that you said just confirms that I am. I have ALWAYS felt different around girls and things that were traditionally associated with girls I absolutely despised (like skirts or the color pink). Even when I was with my ex I sent a picture to him of me in a skirt and a crop top and after I looked at it I realized I didn't like the picture at all and that it didn't look like me. Now I know why. And I've always wanted to be "one of the boys". I loved having guy friends and in elementary school I was always playing with boys. I always thought it was because I was a tomboy but now I realize it was so much more than that. I technically came out to my family (I made a tik tok on it and my family follows me so I know theyll eventually see it) and that should be fun when they find out because my older sister is SUPER transphobic. But I couldn't keep pretending anymore.