How I overcame crippling social anxiety

[@0lange]

For me personally, I avoid interacting with others for fear of being judged in any way, whether it is for my looks, how I talk, etc

[@ranc1977]

Symptoms of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (when criticism hurts) - Being easily embarrassed - Heightened fear of failure - Unrealistically high expectations for self - Assuming people don't like you - Avoiding social settings - Perfectionistic tendencies

[@0lange]

@@ranc1977 thats me lul

[@ranc1977]

@@0lange This RSD is banned by CBT, DSM. Medical industry is making money on our trauma. That is a matter of serious concern, in what sick toxic society we live inside. On the other hand, WHO's ICD.11 recognized Complex Trauma as real concept.

[@ThatLizardYouSaw]

​@@ranc1977bro wtf

[@ranc1977]

​@@ThatLizardYouSaw What we experience as "social anxiety" is actually hidden from us to learn, because we are much more farmable when we lack education about what is bothering us.

[@rizq26]

i wanna cry so bad right now for having social anxiety. i used to be friendly with people but after facing a few past traumas in my life, i become who i am today😭

[@mightypen369]

Practice breathing exercises (pranayamas ). When practiced for 21 days you will develop the ability to breathe deep and long . This will calm the entire mind body emotion complex.

[@kojiclipzx]

After covid i got social anxiety idk why

[@rachelazor6173]

I can relate !! I was so out going and friendly and after going through some trauma I now can’t be anywhere near people anymore

[@ryanfresh8521]

Omg I’m crying too as I’m listening to this. I’m going on a cruise in 2 days with 50 relatives and it’s making my social anxiety worse.

[@vinsambrano2190]

@@ryanfresh8521try breathing exercises

[@puritylouloudi8807]

Everything he said is like a reflection of mine, it’s really hard, I’m still in the anxiety, especially at work… I hope all of you who have this can try to relax and quiet all those thoughts of worry, and hopefully can regain your social skills! ❤

[@shaghayeghtehrani6285]

I see you have The Lord in your heart. Dont worry, its ok and he is gonna help you. And i pray for you❤

[@puritylouloudi8807]

@@shaghayeghtehrani6285 Thank you for your prayers! I’ll be praying for you too, and everyone! God bless you all! 🥰💕

[@sadflamer23]

I grew up like you. Loud, obnoxious, and no-filter. Easier to make friends when you were a kid. As I grew older, I started having anxiety then it increased now to adulthood. I became super fit, and super confident but the feeling was always there. I-then slipped into a rut and became unfit. It became so bad to the point where I can't even engage in eye contact with strangers anymore. I really hate the discomfort the anxiety gives me, but I want to try again.

[@Alex-mt7vg]

right there with u

[@sadflamer23]

@@Alex-mt7vg I’m slowly getting back into working out after 8-10 months of inactivity. I used to be able to run 12 miles straight last year , but getting into shape seems to be the next and right step for me as I loved fitness and remembered feeling like one with my body, spirit and mind. Yourself?

[@trmp9923]

The same thing happened to me. When I was working out constantly I had almost zero insecurities.. boom got sick with a chronic illness and couldn't exercise nearly as much... Well of course my body started changing and I didn't even know what to do with myself. My self confidence went DOWN THE DRAIN like.. I went from size M (I'm a woman) to freaking L and then eventually to XL. I now use an app to count all my calories.. I don't eat more than 1500 calories a day anymore, usually less, 1200 or so.

[@trmp9923]

​@@sadflamer23..... Maybe I'm just a "look good, feel good" type of a person or maybe there's something more serious going on.. I've never been happy as a bigger woman. It's depressing when you become totally invisible to guys.

[@nabilshah9184]

@@trmp9923 work out and do strength training, your body will start increasing its metabolism as more muscle is there to take energy, and you will naturally lose weight

[@Corina-dq2my]

I didn't have social anxiety until after I had been bullied really bad at a couple jobs. This last job, I had been bullied for a year straight. I finally quit, as the situation got more serious. I immediately started applying for jobs, and I realized that I have sustained some damage, because when I was filling out the application in front of the receptionist, I began shaking. My head and neck. Like I had Parkinson's or something. The interview itself went alright, though. But I am seeing a pattern of this, and I am really upset about it. I didn't used to be like this. I will admit, I cried after I got home. I have a lot of sympathy for people who have social anxiety. I need a job ASAP so I don't lose my home. I have a five year old daughter who is counting on me to make good choices. I think that is why I tolerated the bullying for so long. I am watching this video to get some tips on how to maybe calm down. I know that I probably need to speak to a professional.

[@Alex-mt7vg]

i think the more you are exposed to the new, healthier job environment the less you'll experience those weird symptoms. Your body will naturally heal :)

[@kimik01889]

I'm in the EXACT same situation, and it does turn into a pattern. I've had to switch jobs so many times it's ridiculous, I can't keep doing this. Because you DO hang on until it gets more serious. And I usually need a few months to "reset" before I can start again. It's a lot

[@Lalaaaa1995]

I can relate to this 😢I wish there was some type of law in regards to bullying at the workplace. I know they have been doing a lot for children at schools which is good, but there needs to be one for adults at the workplace.

[@sanashaikh3238]

Books that helped: 1. how to win friends and influence people. 2.The social guidebook 3.13 things mentally strong people don't do.

[@brianflo6988]

Was looking for this comment!! Ty

[@tbj4855]

Thank you 🙏🏾 I was skipping through trying to find the books

[@CRISTIFCSB]

My brother gave me the first book on your comment one year ago and I can say the informations helped me a lot with building a social life and I recommend it :D

[@DariusBeingReal]

This is the most relatable video I've seen on social anxiety. It's like the final step to me having a fulfilling life and no one around me can seem to relate to how painful it is not be able to speak to people. Thanks for sharing this bro!

[@adilhameed9512]

Same bro. I finally landed a job i was trying to get for a long time. But i can't seem to get along with my co-workers because of my social anxiety. So like you, anxiety and lack of social skills is literally the only thing holding me back from being an accomplished individual

[@protimpal4858]

1. Never criticize or complain 2. Be careful in arguments, completely destroying the other dude makes unnecessary enemies. So control your temper, understand the other person's perspective 3. Awkward convos are normal. It happens sometimes... don't stress over it so much 4. Avoiding an interaction cause of anxiety is only going to make it harder to face the next time the same scenario comes 5. Don't trash yourself for something that didn't go quite right. Take that as a learning point. 6. Don't overthink stuff that you can't control. Go learn Still D.R.E on the piano instead. The video has a list as well at 13:09

[@moulayemehdi139]

I love you

[@manuiatmk9872]

I've gave myself the resolution to overcome my social anxiety this year and I didn't know where to start so I'm really grateful that you've made this video! It strikes me that I can easily relate to your story. Btw, i love your book recommendations and look forward to reading them

[@chaotic2563]

hey i did aswell wanted to know how its going for you so far since its been a little?

[@a12-j4c5v]

how are you doing now?

[@Ab-or4wi]

this is actually incredible. ive struggled with this a long time and this is the only video ive seen that seems real and genuine and helpful. thanks for posting this

[@ranc1977]

The minute you develop these unrealistic expectations of yourself and others, Fantastic Expectations, you're preparing the stage for Devaluation. Because she fails. YT Narcissist's Madness - Grannon Vaknin Seminar in Bucharest

[@wchristian2000]

I know it sounds corny but KC is a big inspiration for me, I feel like he’s relatable and his advice is applicable to most of us. Thanks KC!

[@ranc1977]

"I have to be strong" The core belief in having to be strong enough, characteristic of many people who develop chronic illness, is a defense. When the Body Says No - The Cost of Hidden Stress Book by Gabor Maté

[@octopus4925]

Same, he actually talks about the parts of our lives that we're struggling with and ashamed of. Really deep stuff to be honest. I appreciate him

[@l.t.7661]

Wow by far this is one of the best motivational video for a person suffering from social anxiety. Also thanks for the books man I'd probably needed it.

[@MarkytheCat73]

Middle school is when mental problems usually start. I was more outgoing in 5th grade. In 6th grade, I became more shy and nervous. It was the beginning of depression and social anxiety.

[@elis5955]

Normally, I don't comment on KZbin videos but this was what I needed to hear. For the last few days, I've been struggling to control myself - the fact that being stressed and not being able to control it made me even more stressed and I broke down completely every night. I have huge exams coming up. Thank you for sharing this experience, even knowing that we are not alone made me feel better.

[@katewolf00]

Holy crap, your story sounds exactly like mine, the part about being very blunt as a kid and telling myself to shut up in middle school. I still haven't gotten out of that mode, but this video gives me hope

[@selfmadewinner6054]

I m also suffering from this. What should i do pls tell me. My social and professional life is ruined.

[@1990maman]

I’m a good looking guy (dimples, facial structure, tallish) and people like coming up to me to have a conversation. You can see the utter disappointment from some people once they quickly find out I’m a total awkward mess😂 Completely oblivious to social cues. I wish I can cash in some of the good looks for social interaction skills lol

[@Alex-mt7vg]

don't blame the failed conversation on yourself :( it's a two way street, and people's personalities are all so different

[@squarecracker]

Same exact situation. I have been single for years and want nothing more than to start a family. Women flirt with me or give signs literally every day. But I know the minute i start talking they will immediately regret it, or at least the large majority will. And dont forget that being attractive brings a ton of baggage as well. People will hate you just because.

[@LearnWithZ2023]

Kevin, you know a lot of good quality you have came from this social anxiety thing, you are a deep thinker, you are creative and honest and kind, these all came from that. Sometime good thing can turn into bad thing, vice versa. But, really like your content. peace and love.

[@ranc1977]

In relationship when you give 100% of yourself you're setting up your partner for failure. Because your partner cannot reciprocate. She cannot give back 100% so she always fails. 100% is fantasy. No one can give 100%. YT Narcissist's Madness-Grannon/Vaknin

[@k1tkatty]

Thank you so much! The experience you shared was very relatable, I also used to be a child with no social filter who became quiet too (I am unsure why). It gives me hope that things will gradually change and get better if I reframe my mindset. I know the journey isn’t easy but it’s worth it ❤

[@InspirationLabs-ff8vf]

The best most relatable video on social anxiety. Thanks brother

[@Madchris8828]

I personally really dislike it when people start borderline interviewing me. "Whats your job", what degree do have, what are your dreams. Like Im trying to figure some of that crap out. It puts annoying pressure on me and makes me not want to talk to those people. So I try to ask people a little more mundane stuff like "what is a fun hobby you have" rather than where do you work lol.

[@ShayVidz]

Omg yesssss I thought I was the only one. I despise interview questions. Ask me about my feelings, not my intelligence level. I am not my work, I am not put together. I am in progress.

[@mkdiablo995]

When i was born i didnt cry I was too anxious to

[@TheSelfUpgradeZone]

This Video is extremely underrated, it's just full of value and we're pretty sure a lot of people will relate to it. Keep doing you, you rock !

[@pragyasharma2566]

Hi KC, so good that you are able to talk about social anxiety in a wholesome way. I have struggled with social anxiety my whole life. What happens with me is whenever I am in a group setting I just sometimes turn or give the feeling to people totally opposite like I have a guard built up. I did read how to win friends book, it did help me immensely during the time I was reading this but I tend to get back again at my pattern of just not socialising because I think this world has become too materialistic. Lack of genuine conversations. Hope I am able to get back on track.

[@YainVieyra]

Totally relatable. I just don't like the idea of stop being who I truly am to just come across as a nice guy to random people. In the end, I just find it unsustainable.

[@akashverma5756]

Social Anxiety is invisible burden you feel every moment and cripple you socially which then harm your career, family relationship, friendship and self growth.

[@bellac.2745]

My guy is the most relatable person I’ve ever met. You got yourself a sub

[@Mjenkins21]

Thank you for sharing. I’ve had such a similar experience with social anxiety in rubbing people the wrong way. Seeing others talk about it really makes a difference

[@Rafael-no3gi]

Super high quality video and very brave that you are willing to talk about this sort of stuff

[@untalentedwebdev]

05:20 dude same here. People always would think that i hate them or something.

[@kennyei-bar]

This video matters to me a lot, last decade im living with this elephant on my chest, not knowing what to do and where to begin. My problem started in school where at first i was a very social kid, had friends and all. Untill i got systematically bullied for a year straight, it crippled me so badly i closed in myself, because i didnt want this experience to repeat, in my mind everyone around me were wishing only bad to me. Even today im scared to talk to people, i have no friends and its really hard to go outside and function at all. I want to thank you for making this video and sharing your experience. This comment will be my first step to end this and finally start living normal life.

[@sherrysunshinefreeman3434]

This video is GOLD!!! Thank you for sharing and God bless you brother!❤😊

[@travhenry3451]

I usually don’t comment but I wanted to say thank you. This video was incredibly relatable

[@mcprotein]

To be honest... I think there is a portion of us who develop social anxiety through real life traumatic events and emotional pain subjected by certain individuals/groups of people. I feel like this guy's emotional anxiety stemmed from him being an obnoxious person (not necessarily his fault). The key is developing consciousness of these origins. Sometimes we have to soul search and admit things about our self we might not like to - understanding is the solution. Once we understand the situation only then is it we can change and overcome the struggle of social anxiety. It then becomes like learning to ride a skateboard - you understand you will fall off the board as you learn to ride it (metaphorically speaking) but each time you get back on that skateboard you become more and more confident than the time before, until the day arrives where you've practiced riding and falling of the skateboard so many times that you can now ride that skateboard comfortably without any issues!

[@sada-goddess7731]

I know exactly what you mean. I read “21 ways to win with people” it helped…along with the other hundreds of self help books. I was raised in a very contentious household and heavily criticized. At 49 I’m so glad to have a name to place on my actions (social anxiety)

[@TimeIsALIVE]

Video like this make me realize im not crazy

[@Anonymouswwse]

Love it. I’m 17 in a few days time and my parents are making me go shop for my own girly bits and bobs. A bit intimidating but I’ve gained confidence since starting college (and also baby steps so taking my friend with me).

[@kattza644]

I've had this for over 20 years and I think I can fake my way through things fairly well, but underneath I'm a complete mess. I'm not even sure I hear half of what people are telling me when I talk to them because it takes so much energy to keep it together.

[@CreatedByKC]

you'll get through it

[@homiekeen23]

same 😅

[@drago5328]

Great advice. I suffered from social anxiety because my life was all over the place. Now I admit that I’m not as successful and not as proud as I should be, but I still decide to try and talk to people and shake their hands. I think if it as if I’m being the genuine guy offering my attention and hand shake, it’s up to them to engage in conversation. If we get to a point where the conversation ends, that’s fine we don’t really click that well. You’re not going to click with everyone and that’s just out of your control. Everyone is awkward and feels the same things.

[@shaghayeghtehrani6285]

Im so so thankful that u shared this. I was the same for a long time to the point that i had to take clonazepam to even leave the house. Now that i overcame this, it tends to annoy some ppl and i've been told to be quit and more in the background. Your story reminded me of my journey and how hard it was to learn to speak my mind, to laugh at my awkward moments and speak to everyone without heavy feeling of stress or shame. Its ok to be yourself, its ok to make mistakes, its ok to be judged( we all go through this lets not kid ourselves) . At the end of the day you wanna hangout with ppl who knows you and still likes you anyway.

[@green_eye_shy_guy]

One thing I’ve been doing to help w/ my anxiety is just breaking the ice right away, and telling the person(s) im meeting that I’m shy & a bit socially awkward, and it helps me feel better in the situation after that👍

[@rebuildme88]

Immigrated from Taiwan alone, lived here for 10+ years, got into software 4 years ago and feeling burned already, I relate to a lot of things you say in this channel and felt not so alone. Thank you! Would love to connect.

[@AjTheDarkestNarrator]

I developed social anxiety in middle school thanks to a trauma that happened in school, and I never got the help for or said anything about it til I got to high school so I just got worse. As an adult and still growing as a person and mentally and learning things there's things that I I still struggle with. I'm grateful for the therapy I'm in now and it's a slow process but it takes so much time and I'm trying to learn things that I was never taught as a kid. I try to do streaming for video games since video games has been my only escape for years, and the streaming has helped a bit for just to get comfortable with just how I talk in general. The streaming has gotten a bit easier over the years talking since it's just towards video games and I do have to take breaks here and there cause it can be too much mentally if I push myself. I try to still not get as anxious around new people or my mom or even in the store but I still get so scared like I actually scream but yea... There's a book called "Thriving with social anxiety." I read it in high school when I kept to myself a lot... it's a good book and has good information. But I'm trying to work on the anxiety slowly.... I wish I could go to college but I feel like it would mentally destroy me and I couldn't get through it and put myself out there. As much as i'd like to go to college and be a Special Victim Units Detective for police... but I kinda doubt it now since I wasted a lot of my teen years in my anxiety and depression (still currently stuck) but I just don't wanna go too fast out of the moment of this stuck issue or I feel like its just gonna make me fall right back into the hole i'm in again but worse and I'm honestly scared of just getting better and it would just get worse all over again.

[@anonymousalias8111]

My social anxiety has systematically taken all from me and more. I have,despite extensive education been unable to interview, and consequently homeless. Turned to booze which reinforced the belief that my sober self was invalid as, in the beginning, it worked. Inevitably, its taken my car, jobs, child, future (due to record) self respect and dignity. People get mad, say, but you are smart,your potential. It doesn't matter when you cant make eye contact long enough to get a job even at wendys. Social anxiety can result in the most depraved existence. How cruel especially to give someone talent, be pretty, smart but unable to verbally communicate. None of that matters. So for that, I've lost any faith too. To be born such an oxymoron. A contradiction.

[@rightiamyuhdad4470]

Hiii are you okay now?

[@JadePowderham]

This vid has help me so much going into high school with this crippling anxiety thank you so much

[@psolver8147]

Thank you so much for this. Exaaaactly my story. No filter and used to upset everyone. Then quiet myself up.

[@kalasatwater2224]

Done the whole social thing, introverts you're not missing much

[@eddiew2325]

I used to beat people up for a living

[@PABLO-hi6os]

​@@eddiew2325ye

[@vodangkhoa10]

Listening to your videos, I realize I have social anxiety for most of my life. It has got worse the last few years.

[@HidamariNuko]

Joining a social circle or whatever is just impossible for me. I don't know how you can have social anxiety and do that.

[@thedj15]

For me it's repeating what i'm going to say in my head just so i don't mess it up, even in a one on one, this leads to me missing parts of a conversation. I also tend to drift off mentally. Just kinda spacing out.

[@tbully5613]

Gives me hope. I struggle with basic things like this too like ordering food at a counter I have trouble with eye contact and get very awkward, I hate it. I also do things like go to stores early in the morning because of less people , it's such a strain on my life.

[@FLOUFFYCRYSTALADVENTURES]

EXACT SAME STORY AS MEEEEEE BRO, it was terrible for me tho bc tho i started to mange it it was terrible because i used to have to deal with excessive phsyical symptoms like Excessive shaking, excessive sweating on my hands that people often felt weird whenever i shaked their hands theyd alwYs wipe sweat and (the worst one) excessive flushing. I couldnt enjoy part time jobs like normal people, Sometimes i coulsnt even talk with my closest friends and even buying stuff wad the hardest thing for me. So because of thsi stuff i awlays avoided eye contact or interaction with people because i was scared these physical symptoms would happen that I withdrew myself and like u explained people who didnt understand what social anxiety was like would often think i was weird or mean or had a prejudice against them. And non of that was true and it broke me everyday having to deal with the pain of being misunderstood. I still to this day struggle with it and i sometimes wish people could read my mind to understand that the person i project myself to be is very different from the person I really am. No its not true that im not looking at you because i hate you its because i care too much about what could go wrong in even talking to you. And thats just something i wish people could understand.

[@greenguy2020]

you are basically me bro i’m in halfway through the video it’s really stressful being like that, hope i get my answer at the very end of the video 🤞🏻

[@greenguy2020]

i’m really glad that i found this video got all my answers and i’m going to read all 3 of the books that you’ve mentioned thank you soo much it really helped 🙏🏻

[@PokidotGamerX]

I was tearing up watching this, everything you described, feeling like an elephant is on your chest when speaking to a new person, avoiding handshakes as much as possible, not speaking to anyone, everything is basically what I've been going through.

[@veenasingh3452]

Thanks for sharing. This is totally relatable for a lot of us.

[@lewisbromilow1731]

This video felt like you were speaking straight to me. I’m guna getting these books done.

[@MrSimp-qk9wp]

I’m 15 and I soooo badly want to go for basketball tryouts but the sheer thought of of leaving my house scares me the seniors and juniors looking at me judging me everyday going to school is a battlefield it’s like avoiding daggers constantly and then bbeing scrutinized by my parents for not trying enought for not taking the step to overcome my fears how my sisters so social and acctually tries while I sit there and cry about not trying, how not everyone is thinking about you your not the main character of the world I can’t count how many times they’ve said that to me and I know I’m not I wish I was just invisible my whole life at this point is regretting not going to events or tryouts, i wish I could go out confidentlyI wish I could just talk I’m not acctully diagnosed but I relate to some of these experiences I just wanted to vent to people that wouldn’t tell me it’s really not that hard or blame me for caring too much

[@anxme5765]

I got anxiety from school… I hate it 😭 i wanna get rid of it so bad

[@6FootVampire]

I found my own way to cure social anxiety, bare with me im dead serious. When i buy shoes i buy 2 pairs of the same shoe but with different colors. For example: i wear one red and a blue shoe, or a pink and a yellow shoe. People will look at you, some giggle, some stares, some probably think youre slow. After 2 weeks i dont mind when people notice me, look at me, or what they might think of me. It REALLY WORKS for me, just wanted to share. Anxiety is now 10% of what it was. Different color shoes works as a exposure therapy. I have now had 2 months with zero panic attacks. Try it, youll be amazed!

[@fitlife1205]

Great video… you don’t understand how helpful this is, most can’t articulate this so they struggle in their heads

[@leviglasser3671]

Wish I could hug you right now, you have no idea how much this means to me.

[@CreatedByKC]

🥹

[@taeko3508]

I have a lot of trouble making friends When I'm with people I'm not REALLY close to I can't communicate. I feel like I'll embarass myself if I talk and I'm scared I will be saying bad things. I'm in my first year of college and in months I wasn't able to make any friend. I really want to change to end this college year with friends

[@blahizake]

Same exact situation. I had no filter and then tried to self censor. It then became difficult to turn it back on. I realize that there’s a balance and being able to do either and still feel like your genuine self is optimal.

[@lolly9778]

I’m just terrified of being perceived in any way sometimes I can’t go out the house, really hoping at some point it’ll get better

[@hiperventilat8064]

Halfway through the video. The tone of your voice speaks for itself! I hope I can learn some things from this.

[@3Pookiebear]

Man this video is very helpful, I just am too scared and lazy to put myself put there and act

[@Floralcami]

Best video ive found on social anxiety ❤

[@rachaeldice]

I’m experiencing this atm, have for about 4 years now, very relatable.

[@hyperbole5726]

Hey Kevin, thank you for this video! I feel like I was and still am in the same situation. I have made great progress since, but the road hasn't ended. I have read Carnegies book half way, but to me it feels like he is trying to teach how to manipulate people for your profit. I also read 13 Things mentally strong people do and I agree that self-pity is really damaging, but sometimes I can't help it and think about all the time I wasted alone. Also it is difficult to find new friends after finishing college. I wish you the best.

[@blahblahblah747]

That Dale Carnegie book will only aggravate your social anxiety, not help it. At least for me, the very essence of my social anxiety was having all these rules for social situations that didn't make any sense. I cured it by realizing that I should just be honest. It's not your job to not offend other people, nor is it even possible. Believe in the principle of free speech. Why do you want relationships built off of lies anyways? They're not worth your time.

[@heather-lj7uz]

Finally I find someone that I can relate to, I'm a waitress and cashier, and I can handle people who are much older and younger than me. But for some reason I get incredibly intense with people my age.... especially guys. 😅😕 I am at an age where I should be able to socialize with my peers (19 on to 20). I need help on getting over the anxiety of talking to guys. 😅😅😅

[@Alex-mt7vg]

its cus u care about the impression ur making on them, cus if they reject you it'll hurt that much more (i'm sure u already know this). So the answer would be-- just to let it go. And like he said in the video, awkward interactions are normal!! Gl, i'm right there with u

[@heather-lj7uz]

@@Alex-mt7vg Thanks. 😊

[@morihays4022]

Hey KC, thanks for sharing your journey, I really appreciate the honesty in your videos and the way you share about things that really helped you in your life with your deep personal struggles, it is really helpful and Inspiring that you are able to share with all of us.

[@alnarkokombist689]

thank uuuu for talking about your experience!!!

[@eu1463]

This is the most real vid ive ever see

[@kingbowser6991]

This is so me, thank you for this video brother

[@watty3846]

Hey man wanna try talking on disc? I have crippling social anxiety to. I just wanna practice it

[@user-lm5ki7jn6w]

I really appreciate your vulnerability with this topic,

[@itsdylac]

I have the first two books and never really read them. Probably about time to do so. I’m a mid-30s burned out SWE and just found your channel. Let’s hope it’s not too late to remove my shell.

[@kingmikez0559]

I got a huge headache after a laboratory class i had today and something about social situations makes me overthink like mad. so much that I can't pay attention to what I'm doing or supposed to be doing and it makes me feel even more awkward. it's like trying to solve a complex math puzzle while you're drunk but every negative thought is like taking another shot that leads to more headache and less ability to focus which leads to disfunction.

[@jeffzhang4852]

Your experience is quite relatable, thanks for talking about it and I'll consider reading the books you mentioned.

[@ranc1977]

Reality is integrated. In reality you see nuance, subtleties, your expectations, you commensurate what partner can offer. In fantasy, the expectations are infinite. So you set up partner for failure. YT Narcissist's Madness - Grannon Vaknin Seminar

[@dustlicker3]

@@ranc1977 that isnt even relevant to the comment nor the video??

[@ranc1977]

@@dustlicker3 Author of the video claims that social anxiety is hallucination and it can be destroyed , that our negative and bad emotions are sickness. What happens when we are abused? When there is narcissistic abuse ongoing? Mobbing? We will feel social anxiety - yet this is never mention, what happens then? How we deal with unfavorable Power Dynamics when we cannot leave, exit nor run away and we are forced to endure attack from someone who is in authority. Inability to see abuse as the cause of social anxiety is egocentrism, it is narcissism. You see only black and white, you do not see grey fuzzy logic.

[@dustlicker3]

@@ranc1977 can you give a time stamp of where he said that?

[@ranc1977]

@@dustlicker3 0:11 "These books transformed my mindset and social anxiety" - this is instruction that our social anxiety is sickness, something to be destroyed, something that is delusion, hallucination and repressed and thrown away by fixing and nitpicking our mind, our thoughts, our thinking pattern. 1:33 "someone who struggled to communicate because of shyness and introversion" Here he implies that personality traits which are not pathology - are scapegoat for anything bad that happens in social situation. So we can have Amber pooping in our bed - and we would label our shyness as inability to communicate with someone who is borderline and mentally ill. 1:38 "rubbed people the wrong way because of social anxiety" Here he implies that social anxiety is sole entity which is guilty for destroying our life. It is never mentioned that lack of money which is totally out side of our control may be the cause. He never mentions that toxic people are the sole perpetrators of any lack of communication or antagonism that there is. Nope - he asserts that our feelings, emotions, reactions to abuse and toxic people are sick and abnormal. 1:55 "social anxiety feels like sense of dread, embarrassing yourself in social situation" HE tells that social anxiety is hallucination. HE does not explain that social anxiety is triggered by criticism - which stated in DSM and any official description of social anxiety. Instead he forces us to believe that we are hallucinating this feelings, that we are delusional. 2:40 "Why can't I be like quiet kids" Here he does not explain personality types - that openness means that openness (which is personality trait) will trigger people. This is not hallucination. This is real issue with openness - Doctor Ramani made video few days about it. 4:22 "Attempt to change myself" Here he says that our mind is sick, abnormal, that we must nitpick and change something inside us. This is highways to personality disorder. If we are not serial killers - there is nothing pathological inside us that needs medicinal surgery or any kind of changing and suppressing or rejecting parts of ourselves which seem annoying. 7:00 "I had true denial of social anxiety" There is denial of toxic people. Denial that narcissistic abuse exists. 8:10 "social connection can be done right way" Here he instructs us to become fake, to build false persona, which is narcissism. He does not talk about accepting oneself - he talks about social anxiety being hallucination, something that we make up - while in reality social anxiety is trauma, it is result of being exposed to narcissistic abuse, constant criticism. 9:40 "no argument" Here he instructs us to be egocentric and that we do not listen to other people. I like this comment by Steve B: "Abandon the whole positivity and negativity vibe. People who tout that use it as a weapon on others because they like living in their own little bubble. If there is a problem then it's not negative. If someone says something you don't like or disagree with it's not negative." Why it is so hard to accept that trauma is causing social anxiety? That social anxiety is called social+anxiety because of social factor - it is not called self anxiety. Idea that we must transform our mindset - leads to personality disorder. If we reject ourselves - we will create toxic shame, deep sense of being flawed and that we must act and become fantasy figure of super uber mensch and that is narcissism. Why it is so hard to acknowledge anxiety and not try to fix it? Idea that we must think in some specific way is fascism, it is one sided thinking, like in North Korea or Putin's Russia. Neurodiversity tells us that the way we think and process stimuli and information is different than what we see and hear from loud people who have money to propagate themselves in media. “The Most Terrifying Thing Is To Accept Oneself Completely” - Carl Jung.

[@philipolutayo3664]

As was recovering from s a long time sickness, i found myself in a situation i can't even explain. Am a preacher, but I find it very difficult to go back to the pulpit because of fear and anxiety. I'm believing God for divine intervention, so I can get fit and return to my duty post.

[@Vazecrow]

I can go out there put myself on the spotlight forget myself until i get home back to myself where my heart starts beating fast and i self sabotage myself like did i do something wrong weird like ;--;

[@Defiant_Dragon]

I have social anxiety I have a kind heart and try to talk to people or make friends but because of thoughts and worrying about the outcome I avoid it I fake it to make it at my job and I'm fine at church and other social places. For me, it's like being there but never there mentally and always feel alone even though I'm around people. For me this is constant I'm 19 in college what do I do. I want to make friends but I don't know how nor if it's better to be alone than with people and the feeling of constantly being judged.

[@MavenEssence]

This video realy calm me down I was at the gym and I met three dudes I know but I was avoiding them cuz of anxiety they just said hello to me and I felt that elephant on me so I just saif Hey…. Hi by realy cringy voice then I started to hiting my head and feeling like Im back on level 1 so I came home and I instantly watched this video Im realy loosing hope for comeback but I will do it!

[@MellobiBS]

I moved to France with my parents in 2018 when I was 10 and I still haven’t made a single freind since then , 6 years without any friends because I never developed social skills because I didn’t speak the language, 16 and last time I made some friends was when I was 4 , 12 years ago

[@MrRaddd]

Very cool man ❤️❤️ giving people hope including myself

[@jaya5920]

this video. thank you.

[@cherrysIushie]

My problem is that I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY! And when I respond, it’s literally always a weird response. Or a rushed response. I don’t have any life experiences so I can’t relate to anything but negativity because my life is genuinely full of negative experiences.

[@peterhuang1431]

Im new and this is 1st video I clicked since I've got social anxiety. It's nice to watch a video with someone same issue as me and im also a beginner to front end web development and hope to learn some from you on beginner or real life crash flexbox projects for us to follow

[@224gh3]

Thank you so much

[@Jj0547]

Personally I try to avoid my social anxiety, but my body reactions are realy strong, making me unable to avoid it. I start to shake, my mind going a bit blank, like spacing out or feeling weak. And my face tenses up from the stress my eyes shift, which makes interactions seem impossible. In these moments I feel not only distressed bc of the other people, but also really sad. Like I hold back tears bc it's so frustrating.

[@shadowsdawn83]

i think my biggest thing is i feel like im bothering people when i try to initiate conversation. that and my mind goes blank after talking and not knowing what to say. is it a bother? im curious

[@CreatedByKC]

yeahhh, this happened to me a lot as well. it gets better with time and experience

[@ererer3r]

bro i SPAWNED with social anxiety, every since pre school ive nver talked to anykids nether smiled.. my life is on hardcore mode and so i thought mybe i should just live by it 😭

[@ОленаДоманська-и3х]

Thank you for this video ❤

[@peachyyp5126]

I appreciate this video .

[@Displ4c]

This is such a problem in my life. It sucks

[@DevashishJose]

Thanks KC, it means a lot.

[@ranc1977]

Fantasy is relating internal objects as if they're external. It provides safety because you interact with internal objects and you control these internal objects. They're yours, they're inside your head so you control them. Is safe. YT Narcissist's Madness

[@Cpneger45]

I avoid most people because I know I will blush if I get too much attention. (Male btw). It’s been like that since middle school

[@3infinity857]

Once i accepted that i’m cringe I became free. lol

[@Frosty56800]

Thank u so much, it was really helpful ❤

[@KluverBucy]

I like this guy

[@katherinefuller4944]

I felt this

[@juniormalinga8407]

Your video hit deep Thank you for making this video

[@hxshiyxmx]

i avoid others because i don’t wanna get killed, stabbed, or just die. it’s probably due to seeing my dad die in the hospital when i was 9. for your information, i am currently 16 years old. i have something that tells me i’m gonna die on June 28, 2028. i don’t understand this mental “message” or threat🤷‍♀️