HOW INFJs DETACH FROM SOMEONE THEY LOVE

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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Discover how INFJs detach from toxic relationships out of self-care. When we realize a connection is unhealthy, it's time to let go. Trauma bonding can cloud our judgment and make us feel like we've lost ourselves. Despite this, we can maintain closeness with those who are moving away or have deep connections with us. But when love becomes detrimental, detachment is necessary for our well-being. Letting go is tough for INFJs, especially when we've merged our identity with another person. Find out how to navigate this difficult but important step in our life journey.
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[@stephaniebell4272]

At 70, I’ve learned that I’m better off without friends.

[@JulieClark-yb5ip]

I think I can understand where you're coming from on this, I have very mixed feelings about this topic I had a friend pass away that I wasn't there for her at the end of her life and I can't stop thinking about the quote from "It" that there aren't necessarily good friends or bad friends, just friends

[@williamcastilla1963]

I'm 53, me too.

[@bri4926]

Me too. I gave up relationships when I was 55. At 65 I still feel attached to him even though we’re are out of each others lives. I give up. I have tried everything to detach myself from him. Nothing worked. I value my friends and feel safe with them.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

You tend to attract users and abusers . Enforce your boundaries! Read : “boundaries”

[@Mentally_Better]

Detaching from someone you love can be emotionally challenging, especially for personality types like INFJs who tend to form deep connections.

[@user-rc2xs5ti2w]

Unless is unhealthy. The INFJ will be successful if they are abused over and over.

[@KarmaDivmp]

There is a reason for this video, almost on a horoscopic level. Negative relationships have been being fostered for far too long, it is time for many of us to start cutting ties.

[@chrislim7976]

Trust your intuition INFJs. Even if it goes against your empathetic caring side. 99% of people are the 1% we hope they would be.

[@jensmet6208]

I actually leave those forever, for me the best thing to do. Some things can’t be fixed. I’ve had so many people in my life, did all for them, they took me for granted at time (my fault,) and got nothing in return, I see no reason to continue to know them.

[@corporaterobotslave400]

Users and abusers show up when we don't show up for ourselves.

[@Tam974eva]

1. Express yourself (ur looking for appreciation, emotional validation and emotional intelligence from ur partner). 2. Don't close the door (be open to communication but set limits/boundaries) 3. Acknowledge your emotions ; getting dopamine doesn't mean being emotionally unsafe (do what u love+maintain sovereignty) 4. Make real life exciting and let go of "fantasy romances" that don't provide safety for you. 5. Create a safe space around you (based on your habits and boundaries). Get back to what you want by setting a benchmark on how great you can feel!

[@lizashone1976]

Thank you!!

[@lauraburdopilatespreacher6878]

I have just gone thru these steps (although with much grief and trepidation) with my own adult daughter (at the risk of losing relationship w/ her and my three beloved grandchildren). But thank the Lord, after a bit of co-therapy, she and I have disconnected and reconnected in more healthy ways.

[@akferren1]

I had a bond with someone not good for me although I was deeply in love with him.. I decided to go no contact and 5 years later I still think of him daily and feel his energy😢

[@need_more_kittens]

I feel you. I'm in a very similar situation. It hurts. I have no hope...

[@bri4926]

Me too. I have tried everything. This video for me is too hard nd makes me depressed because I can’t do it.

[@queengfoods]

It's nice to find people who finally understand a lot of my thoughts processes and how deep we truly are on a regular basis. It truly is no cut off. So when it's time for us to detach from any kind of relationships we are truly done and have gone through all cycles and have learned It's not healthy for us. Stay being yourselves guys just not everyone deserves that intimately❤

[@dr.abhasrivastava7304]

I feel so done with relationships ( anyone) I just feel like keeping all the compassion and care for me only😅😅 In eyes of others I’m very good to keep people in life but for me after I’ve removed my rose coloured infj filters all the spark energy and emotion is like disappeared for ever… I can’t feel the same way … Am I a Robot 🤖 or a cold witch 😄😄😄😄 who knows …. But my body and brain are at ease and peace like never before… Thanks Wenzes u are a guiding star a validating energy in my life💛💛💛 I love you and ur work 💛❤️💛 and I appreciate ur hard work u put into💕💕

[@marinamayer6920]

'Recreate the emotions they felt'... Very smart! I never thought of it.

[@watcher5729]

Door slams a trade mark. But the narcisdistic types looking for supply are nt easy as they masquerade as such innocent victims of empathy

[@ChelleLlewes]

I did this decades ago when I divorced my first partner. We did stay friends for the rest of his life, and he even told me when he fell in love with his next wife before he told her! She and I were good friends, as well. I think a lot depends on the precise personalities involved. Sometimes it works. Other times it might not.

[@thefilipinojoe]

I think in everyday life it’s best to see people for exactly who they are and with absolutely no ability or potential to change or improve themselves. A great way to live out the fantasy of people making huge changes and improving themselves is in writing fiction, but in everyday life I think less is more. 😂 There are of course those who make huge changes and improvements in their lives, but I think that’s the exception, not the rule. 😉

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

14:45 An aha moment for me here: Us creating a safe space for ourselves with all the things that brings us peace - we will know quicker when someone's energy who has entered it IS NOT right for us - These days identifying and protecting my boundaries is quite taxing - and I often wonder why in the past I was not aware of red flags or unhealthy behavior and now I worry about not identifying it quickly (minimize pain) - I am done with the heartache and pain that I have experienced with not having boundaries - OG INFJs do you still find yourself struggling to enforce your boundaries?

[@woodnymph3063]

I think that if it is taxing the boundaries have not yet been clearly delineated and it is a necessary process one must travel thru.

[@desireebarrett3193]

I have two situations where I’ve had to analyze how much of my self I am giving: my father and a situation fwb. I am currently grieving what I had hoped these relationships would be. Also pouring into relationships that pour into me. It’s hard letting go especially for an INFJ.

[@jerrimenard3092]

I have a lot of anxiety about relationships. I can handle a romantic bond or an intimate physical bond separately, but put together I feel triggered. I feel like I am going to loose myself. For years I separated the two and I would only sleep with people who were just booty calls. I had romance with separate people. Then I met someone who I wanted both with. I am glad you posted this. As an INFJ I get a lot of energy coming from all directions and I get confused. This helps me to plan ahead.

[@Name_Lessness]

Experience has shown me that it's easy for others to get attached to the INFJ. I have no problems with letting go, the hard part is that I can't force the other person to let go. Even if I did create the emotion, it doesn't mean they'll let go of its root cause, they must need it I figure so patience is really my only practice. (Talking would only exasperate the connection)

[@angepack1]

Yes, exactly! If they would just let me alone it would be over 15:21

[@Name_Lessness]

Yes, we forgive them anyway though, even if they don't let it go as they know not what they do. They not knowith they do it upon themselves...

[@ChelleLlewes]

@@Name_Lessness I don't forgive. When I cut ties, it's permanent.

[@Name_Lessness]

You can forgive them and still cut ties. In fact you're under no obligation to even inform them that you've forgiven them. It's not for them anyway, it's for yourself. Remember to forgive yourself as well for not seeing any signs or for putting yourself in any situation ahead of time. Your intuition will be trusted in the future.

[@ChelleLlewes]

@@Name_Lessness Did you misunderstand me? I DO not forgive. Not that I can't. When I'm done, I'm DONE. Like the other person never existed. MY choice. Forgiveness does not exist.

[@EllieM_Travels]

This video is gold! I am in this process, and all of this is 100% true. Thank you!

[@cinderling5472]

Wenzes, thank you so much ❤❤❤ this one really hit

[@hxbaaf]

I recently bonded with someone whom I had to let go of. It wasn’t easy but unknowingly I have been following some of these steps to keep this person out of my mind but it’s not an uphill healing process. There are good and bad days but it doesn’t feel like the world around me will crumble. I know I’m strong since I’ve been there before. I’ll get through it like I have done in the past. Thank you for this video though, you simply put it all in one place

[@sagebay2803]

Thanks! I needed to watch this today. I really appreciate your videos. They help me so much in understanding myself.

[@christopherpaul1810]

(INTP) Detachment is one thing but ghosting without communication is another.

[@ChelleLlewes]

Sometimes, ghosting is necessary when every attempt at communication results in yet another barrage of arguments.

[@sajidulhasan2027]

As in you are an intp saying this?

[@christopherpaul1810]

@@sajidulhasan2027 Yes, I am INTP

[@sweetanila26]

Thanks for posting this. I just recently ended my relationship and need some support 😢.

[@Lina_1517]

The only time I detached from someone I loved was with a parent once I realised they couldn't care less, and I was right; they never even noticed the change cause I was never special to them to begin with, so yeah. The admiration and specialness was only from my side. After that I don't think I've ever cared that much about anyone again.

[@hypostatic1]

Thank you! I so needed this today❤️

[@randyramos2826]

Thanks!

[@lindateuling7862]

This is a much-needed way to approach this subject. I think a lot of us know when we need to detatch from a relationship that's gone toxic. This is an effective , systematic way to look at it and think it through. In retrospect, I realize that I've done a lot of these steps, but I had little or no help and had to figure it out on my own. Believe me if I'd had something like this to listen to back then, it would have taken much less time to get myself resettled. I don't know that it's ever emotionally easy, but it's amazing how strong we can find out that we actually are. The most enlightening part of what you mention here is finding this out - and finding it out on our own. I think if we follow what you share here, we can find ourselves getting stronger each time, and to be honest, I think we can learn to respect ourselves even more. Good video.

[@sigmainfjbulgaria4478]

What I think will be the most accurate in such a situation - well, I wish this isn't true, but it's true, people can change in the most painful way for me. It's better for me to say enough and remember that I was bond to that person most of all because of what he was at that time, but for shame he is not the same person now and I have to back up a little bit at least. It's not what I wanted, but no one is asking me. On the other side this person is a separate individual and he has all the right to turn this way. As painful as it is for me now, as good it will be for him to make his own decisions and mistakes. I just wish him all good.

[@artistocracy]

Hello Wenzes, thank you for describing everything that has happened in my own life after I ended a trauma bonded love relationship with a man I adored who adored me one month ago. I knew to act on what had to be done and immediately felt inner peace and relief because there was much emotional pain involved for both of us wanting to be together, to marry, but we both have narcissist spouses and could not leave them out of duty because we are Christian’s and the spouses are not. We are both highly compatible like twins and our love was so strong and beautiful that we had to face the impossibility of a sustained togetherness. We miss each other so very much, it is not easy, but doing what is right by God is more important, so we decided together no longer to have contact. I know that the Lord has protected my heart while I move on and continue to look after my mentally ill husband, but the one I love I still love. Maybe one day he and I will have our time? But we are getting old, so only God knows. 💟🙏✝️

[@ems_2024]

Thank you! Deep in this at the moment

[@girl6girl6]

Off topic but the new cut looks. 🔥🔥🔥🔥 How gorgeous is she?

[@ankowaitingfordo4067]

An incredible timing...

[@amitadash4555]

I saved d vdo.. I am searching for this ,i.e d process.So fortunate I m,i got this. Thank u . Recreation of emotion they felt .,not able to understand properly.. Let me listen ds again and again to put my step forward as per ur advice.

[@abdallahls7673]

Really helpful, thank you Wenzes💞

[@ksquid1457]

So validating! Thank you so much 😊

[@Malekfahad420]

Hey Wenzes, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?

[@Ceeskee_21]

Somehow this game just popped up on my store so I bought it. Now I’m watching videos on what it is😂😂😂😂. After this video I’m playing tonight. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@prabhakar3725]

I am in detached mode for many year till now, attachment nahi ho paa raha

[@TheMaverickMind-Ultc]

100% Accurate

[@braxtonmills1235]

Accepting I will just have to get rich and then be their Sugar Daddy. I have a crush on this German girl in Europe. And I may want to work with her again one day. Things are going Amazing.

[@sajidulhasan2027]

Someone i had a big crush on, but more bcoz she's introverted and opened up to me about her friend about to die. I gave her our only hug that day, and felt her sadness dissolve in my arms when i did. I thought there was a bond after that. Completely blinded myself to the fact there might not be. I knew it was a one way friendship but as we are both temp staff living together i thought I'd enjoy our time. Was really hurt she ghosted me the one time i ask for her time despite clarifying it's for our final conversation as i liked talking to her, and wanted to learn from her and she's leaving anyway. For the first time i decided i want to not hold onto anger since I hardly feel anger anymore and it was jamming up my system, so i texted her. Yes it was almost constructively and honestly said, no swear words but the message was you hurt me, I'm letting you know, thanks for a powerful great memory. I was surprised she wrote back at all saying "you don't know me". I think I'm just relieved she read my text. Today i am just relieved and have let go of such a great memory of human contact, so rare in my life. Sucks being an infj though. But this episode of my life has made me only recently learn about the illusion of "trauma bonding", and i gotta avoid these. Happy to help out and then disappear. I forgot to disappear

[@deniseswearingen3012]

The boot camp is too expensive for people like me. No community.

[@Ceeskee_21]

Wait why did this comment ended on your vid? 🤷🏽‍♂️🤦‍♂️ so sorry.

[@pancakesyo]

If you tap the 3 dots next to it you can edit ot delete the comments 😊

[@Brody.W]

Jesus Christ of Nazareth..

[@udoncat]

🎨🎨🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🖌🖌