WHY THE INFJ CONSTANTLY ESCAPES REALITY (& LOVES IT)

[@Wenzes]

What is your experience with finding the balance between escaping reality and affecting reality?

[@sigmainfjbulgaria4478]

Two things here. I don't like putting negative sign on escapism because it's all but negative and it's actually not escapism, but tapping yourself into different dimension of reality. The 3D reality is simply not the only one existing. And secondly affecting reality don't depends on how you are included in the 3D Se dimension, but on how much you know and believe that the power is within you and only there. Sure, you can affect reality by approaching it with Se methods and you can be cheered on as you are walking in from the front door, but we neither need the cheering nor the front door and that is not a problem. Yes we are different, but it's not we that make ourselves negative with this and we never have to internalize other people limitations for our problem and for a problem at all. The problem comes when someone is rejected based on who he/she is, it's not in the difference of perception and the ability to imagine worlds that we have, compared to most people who are extroverted sensors. I was just looking for a topic to comment in my next video so thank you again for the inspiration. For example we don't have the power to make ourselves cheered on the front door, but we have the empathy that make us create emotions in people and the insane power of mirroring back rejection and insults if we believe that we have the power within us and be confident without Se related arguments for that.

[@bethiciaprasek1008]

My experience is that escaping reality for me is in order to recharge and/or plan (or maybe avoid doing something I know I can pay someone else to do, at least eventually). I just was talking with a coworker today about how I am an introvert who invests energy in acting like an extrovert. (I am trying to establish a corporate Toastmasters club and am using my motivational and leadership skills to form a team towards that goal rather than it just be me pushing it.) He reminded me that it is because I like helping people. A couple decades ago I discovered that I am rarely motivated if I am not helping someone else, but that it also had to help me also or it isn't actually Win-Win. Life changing. I feel grateful for all I have and the opportunity to improve lives, including my own. Plus I embrace being at least a bit strange, but I am a scientist...so we can call it eccentric. :) Then I chatted with a different coworker also today and we were talking about a coworker who "wings it" lots of the time. He said that she should build a "safety net" if she is doing something big. I said that I have encouraged her in that and that I like to have a back-up plan to my back-up plan so I can "wing it" and he reminded me that I don't create strict plans...more the "safety nets" he was talking about, and I had to agree. So that is how I balance it. But it varies a bit through the year as my energy levels change. Summer is great energy while Winter is not so much.

[@MegaCyberleader]

you cant do it forever, Its like going to disney land. You can only vacation so long. And if you work there, its even worse.

[@emkey666]

An idea for a video and/or with a survey : Could you make a survey (you can use surveymonkey or anything really) asking in what ways your INFJ viewers are malfunctioning on a practical level : financial, romantic relationship, friendship, job, quality of life, health issues and separate category for "I'm perfectly content with my life". I know that self reported results on a scale from 1-5 aren't the best but it's something. It could be interesting to see the results. I believe almost all viewers of this channel would benefit from less daydreaming since almost all of it maladaptive. Personally I've completely failed in that regard. Every video of yours strongly resonates with me but they only leave me sad and hopeless. It feels like everything you say checks out but it doesn't apply to me. Others will probably benefit from it but not me. Could you make a video about what to do when our vivid and powerful fantasy turns very dark and we cant control it? I know inability to control thoughts is a very OCD, rumination and personality disorder kind of territory. As someone who needs a lot of help with mental health I'm doing nothing about it despite having good understanding and awareness. Combination of fear and hopelessness prevents me from doing anything productive or even visiting a specialist. I don't know how to DO. I just feel, think and suffer. My reaction to every proposition from your videos is I'm too scared or i can't do it. It feels horrible writing to you something so negative since what you're doing is very valuable, helpful to many and incredibly relatable. Hopefully you can at least use my idea in some way for the benefit of others not as a message that will bring you down. Thank You for making this channel.

[@nav18]

INFJ Maladaptive Dreamer here good to know there's more of us!

[@cledosliop4175]

I used to escape from my reality when I was younger. However, at the age of 27, I realized that I couldn't continue living an unsatisfying life and had to do something about it, so I decided to quit my first job and pursue something I was truly passionate about. The road has been tough and lonely, but I embraced the pain and worked on self-improvement based on my true self. It feels tough, yet highly satisfying. After years of struggle, I can finally say that I am proud of myself, not because of what others say, but because I fought for my life and will continue to do so, no matter what.

[@tnt01]

👍♥️

[@deborahwolff5651]

👍

[@Kshykful]

I am proud of you too. I understand how exhausting it can be sometimes. We can do it 💪🌞

[@pabloprieto5793]

I’m proud of you!!

[@nohandle4u2see]

I'm much past 27 and still haven't done that. I think death will come first. I choose poorly. Don't be me.

[@katiehealer8861]

I learned to escape because of abuse. My inner world was safe.❤

[@nohandle4u2see]

Same, but it has forever changed and damaged my life. I have never recovered

[@Mentally_Better]

It's important to note that while escaping into their inner worlds can be a coping mechanism for INFJs, it's not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it often serves as a source of inspiration, creativity, and personal growth for them. However, like any coping mechanism, it can become problematic if it leads to isolation or an inability to engage effectively with the external world. Finding a balance between inner reflection and external engagement is key for INFJs to lead fulfilling lives.

[@artistchristos]

Yes, very much my own understanding. There are definitely periods of needing to pull back in, while always being creative life has an ease and grace to it. Right now I am staying away from the world to recover from having my trust taken for granted, but am really good in myself while accepting the pain of a recent loss.

[@marinelalarsen3736]

Escaping reality helped me many times. As long as we don't escape totally, as long it's just temporary, it's good.

[@marinamayer6920]

My mild depression started when I couldn't pair my inner world with outer reality. I'm working on it now.

[@marinelalarsen3736]

As long as escaping from reality is not permanent, it can help a lot. And as long as we know way back to the reality.

[@myhalflifecrisis]

I usually need some “me time” to “visualize” and assess what I want to achieve in the real world, as it gets translated out of my rather abstract mind. As I grew older I’m unapologetic about getting this “me-time,” but it was very different as I was growing ups

[@cledosliop4175]

Similar. I find that taking time for myself is important in order to gain clarity about my current reality. I call it entering into my 'hermit mode.' Sometimes, I use this as a way of escaping, but when it works in a healthy way, it can be very helpful for gaining an overview. Keeping busy is not something that works well for me.

[@YouilAushana]

You're spot on! I was super lucky to realize my perfect world by 18. Just to have my two narcissistic parents destroy it all on every level and I haven't been right ever since.

[@coralmccrystal4606]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Narcissistic parents can't stand to see us happy when they can't be. They don't really have the power to take away our talents (nobody does) but they can mess them up. Good luck on the road back to you 🍀

[@mollygreenwood1738]

Right there with you. My sense of self is completely shattered

[@Holliswoud]

"It is not for me to decide how my energy impacts other people." Thank you for this clear reminder that "the rules" are actually reasonable now, as opposed to what I was taught throughout my formative years (b. 1963). I appreciate it🙂💛.

[@stone8man]

I would say more important then creating a world inside the head, is creating a world inside the heart

[@bethiciaprasek1008]

Yes!

[@artistchristos]

Wenzes, as a creative woman, who is in her late 60’s, there is a lot of my inner intuitive self out in the world. I have esoteric poetry books on amazon that even have me in awe of what God gave me to write, I have had solo and group art exhibitions, and paint and draw prolifically, and have had beautiful friends and partners who have been loved by me and who have loved me, so my life expression has been amazing! However, I met a man whom I had no idea was a grandiose narcissist and had 22 years of an unusual life travelling and then settling hundreds of kilometres from my friends and family, and I am still with him. Except for two years he has had mental illness and is different. I like being with good people but prefer to be alone. I am never lonely nor bored!

[@artistchristos]

Wenzes, I hear you and understand how being an INFJ really does describe who I am and why I am as I am. I do escape reality for my inner comfort and much needed peacefulness to survive each day. It’s not like I can’t leave my home! It’s what I take with myself, wherever I am outside of home and among people, which is my behaviour of standing back from being around people in general, people I don’t personally know. I would rather stand alone, by myself and observe but there is a kind of fear of discomfort because I have been so hurt by narcissists that I don’t want to meet anyone new or make a new friend. I can’t let them in anymore. The older I get, am 69 y/o woman in Australia, fit and healthy and not unattractive, it has been too much pain and quite honestly life hurts and I have had enough of trusting others. 😔I like me and am happy in myself. Where are my INFJ companions? I learned as a teenager that being tall and blonde and attractive, an artist and bright and funny and intelligent etc others notice me, want me, admire me but I am not always in my element and need to retreat to breathe. I listen to you because it is a relief, Wenzes. 😊💟✝️

[@antananariva1481]

It"s amazing how well you put your thoughts into words. I still haven"t find balance and I catch myself wanting to be in a present moment, but it drains so much energy that I tap back into my passive head mode. I have that feeling that I want to change someting and that I"m not living my full potential. Guess it has to be hard and not so comfortable at the begining.

[@pablobarrera7613]

This escape from reality is the only way to obtain realistic ideas for the future.

[@boardgamesonthemoon]

Your posts have been so helpful lately, thank you so much. Inspiring and affirming

[@DevonExplorer]

That was really good, REALLY good. It's an aspect of myself that I haven't thought about much before, but I'm at my happiest I've ever been now that I'm retired and spend my time doing the things that give my life meaning. Thank you for that wonderful reminder Wenzes. :)

[@teripacini5611]

To my INFJ Genius....thank you. ❤

[@DialecticDeveloper]

Very interesting and deep analyses with an optimistic vision for action. Thanks.

[@aprilcozad7971]

I was fired last Thursday for not drinking the Kool aid and that I always looked mad. 2 mo. S and they let me go. My work was good. But after being put on the spot...w one word answers and not paragraphs or a book....can't hire quick enough ...short on help but let me go. Introverts do not matter.

[@tnt01]

You will find a better environment. Stay positive.👍

[@MegaCyberleader]

Its been bad, I deal with D.I.D and Marijuana and other drugs such as anti pyscotics make it sooo much worse. But what DOES work is life coaches like Wenzes and Therapy with a good human well skilled in the field. After Wenzes started working with me helped me over some really bad humps, I had a new standard in what I needed for therapy. Therapy I have to do weekly. But it helps, These videos helps. Video games, Where I can be my true self really helps. But As with any fantasy world, you can only do it for so long before you have to to your self work. Work that seems very hard to start, but very easy to finish.

[@arletteconcha5644]

Your videos (as a result of your personal growth) are being very inspiring. I wanted to thank you for that. Everything is just clicking inside of me. I crossed with your videos at the very best moment along my path. So thanks you (and the algoritm, jaja). Hugs from México ❤

[@McD-j5r]

I sure do have my perfect world. 😊 it’s so good.

[@MegaCyberleader]

dont cha mean Puuuurrfect? Cause cats are required for a perfect world.

[@EduardPech]

A few months ago, I have started my own journey, and this video expresses to a T how I feel about myself by now. It has been transformational to be "forced" to regularly interact with with outside realities ("forced" due to the nature of my project). Seeing my transformation so perfectly described in an independent video that has zero data on my own situation, validates my experience: I am more confident now that I'm not "just imagining things." If anyone is still doubtful, I wanted to emphasize that I would subscribe to every single statement made in this video. This woman is doing the Lord's work (virtually speaking, I am not religious) and I hope more people will find and engage in this message. Love and peace.

[@Roltereen86]

2:23 REASON #1 We can create the most beautiful emotions and experiences when we're alone 4:43 REASON #2 We din't like our real life 6:23 REASON #3 We get a really quick rate of return 7:59 REASON #4 We feel misunderstood 12:19 REASON #5 Staying in reality is hard for us

[@dezz__]

One of your best videos 👀🙌🏻 ty

[@vankagawa9087]

This really resonated with me, you were the one addition to motivate me to lean into my extroverted functions. Thank you 🙏

[@DillyDallyLove]

I think the average person watching this type of video would be confused but... 😅 it kinda all resonates with me! 🎉

[@SgtPepper138-n2l]

Thank you for this powerful message Wenzes. 😊

[@ChanceBerryman]

this resonated with me deeply. I could feel so much more emotion in your voice

[@msmanager2775]

But Wenzes I don’t see a problem with my uninspired , unmotivated , ‘escaping reality ‘ in my own world time . I’ve been high achieving and go getting all these years. Getting into stressful high position jobs , raising a child alone , buying a house , helping people etc. now I just realise what’s all that for , nobody really cares . I start asking what is it I want ? I want rest! I want people to leave me alone or be involved in their drama even their joys which is quite exhausting. I’m happy in this world I am now, there’s nothing to get out of life that I didn’t do and the world has had my contribution. I’m only 42 but I’ve been to many countries and done many lovely things. There’s nothing wrong with my reality that is me not wanting you to have much to do with the world . As long as I can pay my mortgage and get by I’m happy with this world of mine where there’s me and only few. Because most people these days are exhausting.

[@luciana1930]

Same here 🙋‍♀️

[@lindateuling7862]

I've been called a "daydreamer" from the time of being old enough to talk (which happened before turning a year old, BTW). As a child, my parents and teachers got after me about daydreaming, making me think it was a liability. I later learned that it's not a bad when "using it" instead of letting it use me. My times of getting away from so-called "reality" and letting my mind wander can be good instead of not bad. I'll soon come back to "reality" and maybe even try some new things that occurred to me during this "escape" time.

[@gabrielWachong]

Screw reality 🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@marleenstukkien5384]

I want that on a tshirt 😄

[@dagoelius]

Its an corrupt, selfish world we live in. Escaping it is bliss.

[@kan0762]

I think this video will help a lot of people like us.. cos even I just decided to snap out of that world to create externally observable results.

[@harmony41000]

I'm getting Wow! moments from this video

[@florptytoo]

I'm ok with being the only one who knows my self. Don't need or want the "world" to react. 🤷‍♀️

[@ck104]

The more I hear things like this - which makes perfect sense to me - the more I wonder how much of a correlation there is between INFJs and people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I am/have both and they seem to overlap so much.

[@mikalblackwell7200]

Same with autism

[@3six9_eye_am]

@Wenzes Can you make or suggest a video that addresses the best ways an INFJ can keep their cool and not mentally annihilate and/or break those who try to hurt troll or harass them. I could really use tips in this area. 😮

[@LetsTalkColdplay]

I escape from reality with my Twin Soul. We're in separation right now, both married to separate people, but will be together again during the Tribulation coming soon.

[@florptytoo]

Gross. Deceit and cheating. Low vibe shit.

[@LetsTalkColdplay]

@@florptytoo we can't communicate in the physical. Only supernaturally. You don't understand the soul twin nature. We have the same soul. Have only been friends on earth. But we can have supernatural relations.

[@RiannaMarieMentality]

Thank you Wenzes, really needed this one 🌹💫

[@lucky_i.i]

I don't believe it is healthy that we escape reality so much, I believe it is just a coping mechanism and that when our life (inside and out) gets healthier abd better we will be "escaping" less and less.

[@debjitbera]

Thanks a lot Wenzes

[@SamsonPavlov]

Thank you for sharing! 💚

[@stephenfegely]

Sophia 👸🏻 🦉

[@geeqstarseed3452]

TYSM!!! ❤

[@naamanpratt]

💫

[@queenofscots839]

💯

[@D.M.S.]

Honestly, that sounds more like C-PTSD and not like a personality type. I have both.

[@Susan-j3w]

How can you understand what you do not experience it so wonderfully. Foxes always smell their own hole first.

[@nohandle4u2see]

I don't love it. Its almost as bad as my reality. It's purgatory