How Joey Diaz Financially Sank the Mall in Denver

The Church of What's Happening Now
Episode 676
Joey Diaz, Lee Syatt, and guest Frank Caliendo
• The Church Of What's H...
#JoeyDiaz #LeeSyatt #ChurchClips

[@madjack5497]

*Joey* "I went to the student center, picked up a whole rack of Timex watches and threw it over my shoulder like a body in Vietnam" *Diaz*

[@IronlVIan]

Imagine believing what joey diaz says lol

[@darky529]

Who gives a shit if it's fake, it's funny as hell

[@wasteland8544]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@MrTiton536]

IronlVIan but it’s actually true and he did do time for kidnapping ... he was known in the comedy community as a drug dealing coke user. Exactly who he says he was

[@Sneak248]

IronlVIan Imagine not believing his stories, yet still watching him.

[@salemram15]

You know it's gonna be a good story when Coco drops the year and season in his introduction. "It was the summer of 85"

[@gremlin7701]

salemram15 he was in his 20s

[@TheChurchofCacti]

Her name was Lucy Snorebush and her body was BANGIN!

[@danielabramson2464]

"In thise days.."

[@bravetitangrizzly]

"I was on the corner of 9th Street and Broadway. I had a blue shirt with basketball shorts and a Yankees hat. It was a Thursday at about 1 pm, cause on Thursdays I would always get a sandwich from Benny's at lunch. No fuckin tuna like you pussies today do. Now by this time, I was doing about 47 eight balls a day slinging dick like a fuckin Savage

[@104copyTHAT]

Bro tell a story and I feel like a kid hearing dr suess. He paints a fuckin picture

[@IlPadrino500]

„What‘s it like to not have a consience?“ „Tremendous!“

[@APEX-qv7rm]

the Way of the Savage

[@akimboist]

ignorance is bliss

[@hi-ic2nb]

​@@akimboistbeing ignorant isn't bliss at all that saying is stupid asf

[@Evilrose0611]

His retail scam stories, if not true, are incredibly accurate and exactly why stores have the policies they do now.

[@JonnyUnderrated]

yeah he's one of the reason its not as easy anymore.

[@ledzeppelinfan1001]

What an asshole lmao

[@gunsnwheels9214]

JonnyUnderrated almost all his stories are lies he's just good at telling them.

[@Connor-wf2zn]

Guns n Wheels I don’t believe this for a second, they are most definitely exaggerated, but he’s not a compulsive liar

[@punanie05]

Guns n Wheels your just a hater. His details are spot on. He can tell the same story years apart and they are exactly the same. No way a liar can remember those details. Especially for that many stories. If youve seen shat ive seen and lived a life similar. Its not a stretch to believe there was someone who has done literally everything he says he has.

[@jayrayjayme]

'You make me want to go back in time and start robbing people'

[@2inchfromtheground]

Janis why? It's easier to rob people today, you can load prepaid cards from a public computer

[@ClarityFB]

@@2inchfromtheground can u elaborate just for fun

[@KoisBro]

@@2inchfromtheground I'm listening

[@2inchfromtheground]

ClarityFB sure, spearfishing with HTML malware with keylogging, a simple bot to filter down to passwords and email, get on their walmart account and have at. Prepaid cards, lines of credit, get delivery to apartment offices on holidays, act like you are locking up for lunch as the fed ex truck pulls up, make small talk about how you are the only guys working holidays, sign the fake name.

[@goldenmemes51]

@@2inchfromtheground what ? What u mean about , can u break it down even simpler please

[@MrLukedanger]

“I picked up the rack of watches put it on my shoulder like a body in Vietnam”

[@MrLukedanger]

5:30

[@randyjohnson2885]

Good similie used. Hahaha he could have been a writer or poet hahaha

[@traditionalmeaning5860]

"You make me wanna go back in time and start robbing people" dead lmao

[@TooFreshproductions]

Joey “summer of 85” Diaz

[@boofert.washington2499]

*81 or 85, I'll neva forget(even tho he can't remember the date) This guy is the biggest liar in the history of liars. 99% full of shit.

[@2inchfromtheground]

Boofer T. Washington oh yeah, tell us how it all happened, you were there right? Oh nevermind, you're a dumb fuck just talking shit

[@carter1324]

@@boofert.washington2499 fuck you let him be funny

[@nbaneverbtoke9639]

Boofer T. Washington he does a bunch of drugs you expect him to remember the exact date?

[@raphaelmelgoza4250]

@Jorge Molina everyone does shit they cant date. Its pretty obvious. I've done shit as a kid I dont remember how old I was but I remember doing it

[@arroyhondo]

"if you not paying attention, i gotta rob you"

[@cricket12ish]

What a quote

[@theweirick]

“Then I was out on bail on the kidnapping case.” I lost it laughing.

[@derekjlight]

James Weirick Joey was a savage lol.

[@laluveronia6581]

Top class bullshitter

[@TomCL-vb6xc]

Lalu veronia He wss convicted of non-violent kidnap. He served a sentence in prison.

[@omenmain4109]

The mall: Joey: im about to end this whole malls career

[@duckysingleton4712]

Ughhh, sorry

[@CreAlex320]

Whole malls whole career

[@tinoheat728]

😂😂😂

[@josephpotter7776]

Joey "I gave the Mexican kid a $10" Diaz

[@blazer_boy]

Joseph Potter Joey Diaz is always giving Mexicans ten dollars in his stories.

[@777Edub]

This is real life Ricky from Trailer Park Boys!

[@francoochoa3176]

I fucking toad a so

[@Jbkbmx]

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking that

[@Jbkbmx]

Two birds stoned at once

[@williamshaw9047]

Hey, knock knock. Who's there? Fuck you. (flips double middle fingers)

[@stefanavic6630]

"You hear that Joey? That's the Winds of Shit."

[@wyattperkins7478]

“I started robin them every other day”😂😂

[@ericallen7112]

He had to remain in control.

[@bamm86]

wyatt perkins all casual and shit. Hahaha

[@lowkeykeylow5526]

The fact 22 people liked your comment without correcting you *Robbing

[@APEX-qv7rm]

@@lowkeykeylow5526 Your little obsession has Condemned you to a lifetime of Suffering cognitive discombobulation. Is my sentence ok, Peaches ?

[@seth4076]

We gonna talk about how good that Trump impersonation was ?

[@CaptainShoe]

He is one of the best impressionists out there!!

[@kanekiuchiha7147]

Hahaha im saying 😁😂😂

[@Benderthegr865]

You do know he is a pro impersonator

[@randomguyonyoutube9675]

So happy this comment was here👌😂

[@iamyourpc]

His George W Bush impression back in the day on MadTV was hilarious

[@renel8964]

" what's it like to not have a conscience?" *Tremendous!* 🤣🤣🤣

[@NunYa953]

I am a Colorado native. I sold cars for almost 20 years. He is infamous around here in the car business. The old timers who worked with Joey that are still alive (most good car salesman die young from cocaine habits), will vouch for most of these stories. The car business is so lame now. I quit and started my own business.

[@SuperSlimshady1]

How did u start ur iwn business? And how is it lame now?

[@jensjesfjeld6238]

I blame Elway. 😉

[@flippatheshippa]

Stealing is very addictive and the feeling you get after getting away with it and the money in your pocket is what always drives you to do it again it’s all fun and games until you get caught and get a felony slapped on you

[@swvch]

In California theft under 900 dollars is a petty misdemeanor

[@user-ul5gi9yw9t]

Shoplifted since 12 now 24, yet to be caught. Feelsgoodman

[@matcuscorpez6452]

@@swvch what the hell thats crazy. Here in Texas, anything over $50 is considered a felony.

[@dizzy8950]

Facts I grew up with a guy named Frankie. He was from Las Vegas. A real klepto. Dude could steal your wallet right out your pocket. The funny part is I don't think he stole to survive he did it because he enjoyed it. Now he's in prison smh.

[@darkerdaemon7794]

@@matcuscorpez6452 $500+ in North Carolina is a felony. Iirc Virginia is the same or $1000.

[@gil5598]

5:33 that shrug lmaoooo

[@SamsTechTips]

That's the new dab I reckon

[@eatondix7407]

The receipt scam was how I was able to afford my clothes back in the day. Go in, buy a pair of jeans, PAY for them and get the receipt...Go outside and put the jeans in the car,...then go back in, grab a pair directly of the shelf and take them to the cashier and return them using the old receipt and get my money back...making up a story about wrong brand or somethin...It was truly that easy back then.

[@NinjaZXRR]

There was a guy that walked into Walmart, my buddy worked at around 2007 the man had bought a steak. And cooked it, ate it, then returned the next day with the styrofoam container with the shrink wrap asking for his 6$ back after arguing for 40 min he got his 6$ back.

[@Bobin10101]

Will.J he got his fuckin money didn’t h

[@timfredrickson3889]

Nowadays what’s the difference? With security tags you do the same thing, but walk up to the counter with the receipt and say “you forgot to take the security tag of this” and it’s endless buy 1 get 1 free.

[@MrPernell27]

Spencer bullshit. Security tags make the alarm go off

[@bw7754]

Spencer all you need is a strong enough magnet and you can take off security tags in the store easy as fuck. Don’t ask me how I know.

[@steezknight2014]

Joey: “ This time I had a receipt! “ Lee: “ Woah.. “ 😂😂😂

[@johnd9245]

You cant make this stuff up... the level of detail and the effortlessness with which he tells the stories makes me believe every crime recap he talks about. It’s possible he could have written a fake life story spanning 30 years and memorized it. But i dont think thats the case

[@joepowerhouse2371]

Urban/minority-majority cities of the Northeast (tri-state) and their suburbs are just crazy places that write crazy stories. It's a more chaotic feeling than Southern projects or West coast gangs. Very diverse as generations of immigrants afford houses farther and farther from NYC, but you can (in some areas) have 100 nationalists all championing 100 nations in the same neighborhood. Sometimes you see ethnically motivated fights/joking in school, like a Pakistani and Indian fistfight or Central Americans just Shitting on whoever is south of their own nations border. Notice now Joey is usually specific about ethnicity? It's important to people who 1) live where it's not 90% Anglo-Germanic and/or 2) are a nonwhite minority anywhere.

[@armandocontreras7262]

@@joepowerhouse2371 yeah, it really is crazy out here

[@kylesmall2399]

I wonder the same thing sometimes. He ain’t lyin

[@varunrajesh6516]

He entertains for a living. Of course he could memorize an elaborate life story or at least improvise large chunks of it.

[@soldierof239]

@@varunrajesh6516 even if he is elaborating, he's a damn entertaining story teller and the stories he's telling are true a lot of places. He reminds me of one or two people I grew up with.

[@smallgay]

99% of Joey's life wouldn't have existed if there were security cameras back then.

[@sozeytozey]

Makes you think, doesn't it...

[@GlorifiedGremlin]

It would've become nothing but prison stories

[@benoh3417]

​@sozeytozey no not really lol moron

[@sosukekurosaki9861]

It was boulda1999 I had a rock coke stuck so far up my ass.... it sung

[@oloxhossono1956]

living in the age where there were no cameras must have been insanely easy to hit licks 😭😭

[@derekjlight]

"You know I could use a CD player at the house..." Had my dying.

[@James-xy4nj]

I’m still waiting for Joey to say “like a docta” again lmao

[@blakesimpson7248]

Joey looks so good, he has lost so much weight!

[@Ariza214]

I was thinking the same thing! Also that orange hitter looks good on him

[@anderson9908]

Blake Simpson didn’t notice until you said that. he looks great.

[@mobiledetail4you]

Uncle Joey is lookin good!

[@anthonydavis899]

He's on that Weight Watchers 😁💪 then there's Lee on that lizard meat and conveyor belt sushi *smh*

[@blakesimpson7248]

Anthony Davis 😂😂 facts

[@shamanicstates2745]

Joey's the type of dad you wanna bring your in laws to meet🤣

[@dontbefooled5997]

I never laughed so hard LOL JOEY STORIES REMINDS ME WHEN MY FATHER STOLE A CLOCK AND TELESCOPE OUT THE DOCTOR OFFICE IN 96.

[@introvertchachi644]

Ace Degenerate dont be fooled

[@dontbefooled5997]

Ace Degenerate it was a Alarm Radio clock the doctor I guess the doctor left the room and there No Metal detectors but to be honest I’m still surprised that’s what make it funny to me is how the fuck you do that 😂😂..

[@rawbencher8809]

Think you mean stethoscope dog

[@maedelelawhorn9738]

@@rawbencher8809 lol...hell yeah cuz wtf a telescope doing in there.

[@Benderthegr865]

Telescope? Smoke some more crack

[@oostenmusic]

Joey always walks in with either $3 or $3000

[@brandonirvine3564]

And if he walks in with $3 you're getting robbed

[@theorigionaldrew]

Feast or famine

[@ashleyirwin1320]

Man's a legend! Super hero! Every time I watch uncle Joey, I check my wallet lmao! 😂

[@JonnyUnderrated]

check it now, its gone. Now check the middle part of your pants. Your dick? Its gone too! Magic baby.

[@bigredactionsportsstuff1245]

Shit it's gone.... Fuck

[@brob-zy8zi]

😂🤣🤣

[@MocKWizard]

Nobody: Joey: “Ounce Of Coke”

[@timstarmer5242]

Shut the fuck up

[@zbvckl2990]

@@timstarmer5242 calm down you silly boomer

[@timstarmer5242]

@@zbvckl2990 I'm in my 20s u fuck that meme is just stupid. Any moron can use it in any context.

[@figgyschmalls4225]

cheese cheeser ok boomer.

[@BB-dd6wm]

cheese cheeser I’m also in my 20s and you sound like a fucking douchebag.

[@tybicholas453]

"You make me want to go back in time and start robbing people"😂😂

[@ktothec24]

Lee needs to dress like the Pillsbury doughboy for Halloween

[@TheKoopaClown]

Just when you think you might have heard all of his stories. Joey gets ya again

[@2inchfromtheground]

3:58 those days were the best, walk in, grab something you like and return it. Nowadays they got computers, cctv and they wanna scan your id and have you sign it

[@m.a.d.pandagaming6895]

Joey Diaz is legit. I love this guy. Never get tired of these stories

[@TheBallznweenerz]

"what's it like to not have a conscious?" Joey - "Tremendous!"

[@joeshaver1104]

I love hearing Joey Diaz tell stories. Not the content of the story but the voice and the rhythm. It reminds me of my dad's family telling stories.

[@godisgod7089]

I live in boulder and the thought of Joey stealing from a mall is hilarious

[@WN_Byers]

Tell everyone where youre from

[@Namedeeznuts]

K. Ridge 1 that’s something kids are scared of.

[@KzudemRiM]

Its a blessing to have joey telling these storys of a long past time

[@anthonyvays5786]

Nobody: Joey Diaz: *brags about shoplifting*

[@y25151956]

joey"i admit to all my felonies to the public"diaz

[@klaykid117]

Besides Sears is out of business so is RadioShack and is Kmart even around?

[@logana1999]

@@klaykid117 we still have sears and RadioShack in denver

[@timothygu3]

Statute of limitations has long been up

[@clownworld4655]

@@timothygu3 plus he already served time for several of the big ones and many of the people he knew in these stories are dead now

[@randyjohnson2885]

Well they can't pin him for those crimes anymore lol

[@ThatOneStankyNigga]

Joey "listen dawg" Diaz

[@Jackmerius_Tacktheritrix5733]

Frank Caliendo and Joey Diaz in one video. Life is good

[@Stonehenger420]

Someone animate this please

[@JonnyUnderrated]

Get on it Stone. He who called it does it man. I dont care if youve gotta go to college for 4 years and learn how to animate. DO IT. YOU OWE IT TO US NOW.

[@danielcabrera543]

yes!!!!

[@joski9030]

Good idea! There’s a dude on here called “Ben pics” He does some awesomely funny animation to comedy by Bob Mortimer and others I might hit him up ask him to do some Joey stuff.

[@juventusventuno9213]

Had same thought. It would epic

[@psycodelicrelic1906]

@@JonnyUnderrated yea dont be a lazy prick, so do it yourself

[@joshbailey9161]

Joey "I need canned corn" Diaz

[@watwell]

"The Hill" in Boulder is still a major hangout and one of the most iconic places in CO. I bet Joey on the Hill was amazing.

[@KiwiAntz56]

“The NCIS” lmao. It’s ncic

[@sergiopiece]

Dogmo Satchmo if you knew uncle Joey you’d know that’s something he would say. Fucking momo

[@nr-dx4zz]

Pretty sure the autism comment was for the OP , unfortunatly it now applies to both of you

[@benevolent2077]

lmao ncis that show tho xD hahahah

[@Akeldama9]

@@benevolent2077 NCIS is actually a real law enforcement agency, just like in the show it's Naval Criminal Investigative Service.

[@aleiterful]

😂😂😂😬

[@Lmaoooohi]

Joey lived in the golden age tbh. I use to steal so much and get away with it even with cameras which was tough and held me back. He literally had the world in his hands 😂😂

[@MadeInTheStruggleProgram]

Joey’s laugh is so heart warming 🥹🥹🥹

[@LifeRewindedNYC55]

Lmao I love your channel

[@o0oStillWeRiseo0o]

Legendary!

[@youngarnold4]

Joey looks good right now. Go look at podcasts from a year ago. Looks healthier.

[@HD4KCj]

Joey “take the safe to go” Diaz 🤣 classic

[@killsudep]

You know its gonna be a good one whenever Joey says "lemme tell ya somethin"

[@jtomczak100]

life without a conscience..its tremendous haha

[@bananielrush8602]

They need to make a movie about Joey Diaz life

[@HEADKICKMMA]

Bro the brining back books 😂

[@420dyablo]

This title got me rolling🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

[@andrewcoates4952]

Watching a string of Joey Diaz videos makes me realise I’ve actually not lived. I’ve lived 26 years doing absolutely fucking nothing. I need Uncle Joey to show me what’s what

[@Firestorm12321]

To be fair, it’s a lot harder to live a Coco life in today’s world

[@basedmod2139]

@@Firestorm12321 nah Joey countered the difficulty same as everyone nowadays

[@OfficialGoldenboy]

@@Firestorm12321 not true I robbed my local h&m & made em had to restock for weeks 😂😂

[@jerrynadler2883]

migrants and homeless ruined it. Cant get away with anything anymore in a low trust society.

[@GracelessTarnished]

I would do the same sort of shit about 15 years ago at Blockbuster and Costco. My buddies and I would get video games and flip em to BestBuy. Man the good old days.

[@jrods2268]

Ashen One must be a junkie!

[@theycallmethehunter5096]

Jrod S gamer hustle, don’t knock it, gamers need weed ;-)

[@floggyWM1]

@robby6511 not in nyc, u must be from a small town. in NYC blockbuster always had video games behind the counter

[@SuperSlimshady1]

How did u steal from Costco? How did u steal the video games?

[@matthewscott3717]

Lmao. Love you man.

[@funkymonkey2k94]

lee's laughs give me life

[@uncutfrontmuscle7892]

Holy shit joey!! Your making some progress bro... keep working out

[@youtune2422]

Joey is lowkey Nate & nick Diaz’s dad 😂

[@jaspercochran1175]

Good episode fellas....

[@bjboogie6812]

I never cried laughing this much before

[@mintyspaghetty]

Ayeee I’m listening from Longmont CO!!

[@angelsaldana4721]

Greely colorado

[@EDMTMLFilms]

I have a best friend who used to walk into Home Depots and pick up power tools and bring it right to customer service for cash refunds. It was around 99 to 02 03. Some people just have balls like that haha. He was cold as ice. He's a stand up man now. Father of 3. Beautiful family. Union worker. The works. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

[@pizza7738]

Cash refunds without any proof of purchase?

[@louismichael3571]

Stealing from one wal mart & returning to another. Sometimes if you got somebody weak in customer service, theyd give you cash just to get you off their back.

[@dankycast7463]

Home depot is getting raped. I used to grab those cordless tool sets and sell em brand new for half price..

[@brixman5207]

Im already laughing and I haven't clicked on the video yet.

[@tammiea8552]

I just love Uncle Joey!

[@MarcelosToyRoom]

Lol man that's sounds like the crossroads mall in Kalamazoo MI 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

[@BoofHoover]

Marcelo's Toy Room rip carousel lmao

[@MarcelosToyRoom]

@Ambrose Burnside 😂😂😂😂😂

[@BentonHart]

Funny thing is, the mall in Boulder back when he's talking about was the Crossroads Mall.

[@MarcelosToyRoom]

@@BentonHart that name is a dead giveaway

[@williamshaw9047]

I went on a three-week shoplifting spree there in October 1992 until a friend and I got caught at the Jewel near the mall (I think it might be a Dunhams now) stealing Silly String. Do kids still hang out there on Saturday afternoons?

[@gunkmasterflex942]

i love it when lee laughs hes adorable like the pillsberry dough boy!

[@ciaphascain1919]

I love this conversation. It’s fuckin hilarious.

[@richlondonrich]

Really inspirational.

[@bigmir9233]

Like a body in Vietnam😂😂😂😂😂😂 OMFG

[@MrResns]

5:07 that impersonation is spot on :D even the lips lol

[@jonaswhite7738]

Damn! Uncle Joey’s lookin good! Keep it up, bud!

[@limjaheykc2422]

Lee’s laugh cracks me up!

[@gladiatorscoops]

Totally imagine Uncle Joey doing his robbin of the mall to the soundtrack of 'Zorba the Greek' and as the music kicks into high gear is the moment Joey is running through the Mall throwing CDs to get away from the security guards

[@themightyspoon9641]

Absolutely savagery cheers from a tree climbing stoner from the UK

[@TheSilkSatinSultan]

I can’t get enough of this story.

[@isabelramos4459]

Why do I love him so much

[@bandana4814]

Joey Diaz was really Thanos back in the day, he always had 6 TREMENDOUS coke rocks on him, didn't give a fuck, and at the snap of a finger he would pick up shit and walk off lmao! I love this man!

[@flamemojis]

Lolol

[@creamydistortion]

Holy shit! I got popped for the Bruce Springsteen box set when I was 12.

[@brianaxb9429]

Joey's looking great! Keep it up!

[@hotsince8760]

Lee laugh is the best !!!

[@CASoxFan12]

Wow, Joey looks damn good....its obviously been awhile since i seen a recent video. He looks healthy, shit he sound healthy. Usually u hear him weezin on mic.

[@derekjlight]

He looks like he’s lost a good 75 pounds or more.

[@LiamDCoughlan]

I swear Joey’s life is like a side character form GTA, always with the escapades and moving to Colorado to get away from the city etc

[@petecastle5762]

Joey is funny as hell, it’s funny when he laughs out loud

[@TheMouseofdanger]

Yes Joey!

[@jamesrinaldo7168]

This dude is a street smart money making genius! Too bad we cant get away with that shit today.

[@MrRaymos23]

I remember my step dad walking into stores grab a big piece of furniture and bringing right up to customers service and return it no problem got store credit and was out

[@gemmamudd7167]

I love uncle joeys stories

[@influenceofficial7126]

I used to grab things off the shelf and take them straight to the customer service desk too. Shits hilarious.

[@vladimirandreev5932]

expresso machine lol

[@flypaperset]

That mall was called Cinderella city. I bought my first dog there. Drive in was two blocks away. Cool times

[@adonut4u]

2:16-worst noise ever heard LMAO

[@tommyfu9271]

Waiting for receipts on windy days hahahahah