How one round of feedback saved a composer's track

I give feedback on Maximilian Briand's April 2023 Composing Competition entry and then we listen to his revision.
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[@feraste]

Thank you a lot for this opportunity ! It was an amazing experience !

[@awesomereviews1561]

You did well bro. You really improved.

[@MrFanSoundtracks]

Wow massive improvement I must say. It really shows how helpful constructive feedback is in actually decreasing your faults to create better music

[@WadeSmithOfficial]

Proper feedback definitely goes a LONG way!

[@beckhamreed141]

On the revision, the horn at the begginjng gave me goosebumps

[@Baritocity]

Wow, that piano sneaking in with the harp and rising up was smooth the second time!

[@braydendukes6633]

This was such a great video idea. The improvement on the second version was MASSIVE 👏🏻

[@LannyRoe]

That guy is seriously talented, I hope he has a good career.

[@chriswolf4715]

The revision had so much more life to it. A good composer has beautiful ideas; a great composer can make other people's ideas beautiful. Fantastic work Max, you should be very proud of yourself!

[@rodterrell304]

Nice use of good advice. I really liked how the piece flowed after he reworked it. Great job.

[@Johnstone565]

Oh wow... that was some transformation 👏 Well done lads.

[@martijnvanbeek4387]

This is a very nice concept; I'd like to hear / watch more of this kind of stuff!

[@Bitimi]

Really awesome work from before and after! Massive improvement for sure. I really enjoyed the buildup and transitions of the revision.

[@Gstreng]

This is such a cool video! Really inspiring to see someone effortlessly deliver and receive constructive feedback

[@Doty6String]

great idea for a video man!

[@birdsofvyraj92]

Good job from both of you. Really great stuff and advices. :)

[@jonsnow4372]

In the revision the horn sticks out like it doesnt belong with the other instrument colors. It's too epic sound in this intimate mood.

[@GizzyDillespee]

Hmm, that was part of the feedback, to bring the horns forward, and I thought they were balanced okay, but it's possible he went a little too far with that🤣. Personally, I didn't think either piece fit the mood of the illustration, but maybe that's why I'm not in charge of that stuff for a production house🤣👀.

[@expilectakunai]

I agree, I think a mellower horn solo would match the tone perfectly, as the horn solo can be one of the most intimate moments in the orchestra.

[@mbaldwinlobue]

Great idea for a video…and man did Max do a great job implementing the feedback.

[@Val-wf6mg]

this would be an awesome series

[@keving6776]

awesome idea for a video, very authentic

[@veraval4046]

Perfect fourth !

[@SoraiaLMotta]

sounds more orderly now.

[@sylvainmathieu3887]

There could have been a million ways to redo the piece but I must admit that moving the solo harp at the beginning instead of the end changed a lot about the atmosphere.

[@eqaeabiker3223]

yeah the first version was extremely overwhelming

[@ChristerOstergaard]

What keyboard midi controller is that, Ryan?

[@RyanLeach]

M-Audio Keystation 61 MK3 which I specifically got because of how little space it takes up on my desk

[@lahmhitcar]

Massive improvement! The art and music is on par with Hollow Knight, which is full of similar music style and game art

[@nathanielholzgrafe5274]

City of Tears has similar meditative qualities and similar instrumentation of harp and piano.

[@vittoriosommatinomusic]

I think that Feedbacks are very important for an artist. Other artists or "common" people can help us with their feedback. I remember when I was in Conservatory, any time I asked for feedback about my tracks I had received so many ideas to improve my tracks. Feedbacks are very important for anyone. Btw, in the second reworked (better than the first version) I don't like very much the first part, the movement of brass or maybe the CC controls don't feel very well, but this is my opinion and I want to repeat: congratulations!

[@FM-kv4vu]

Diminished fifth

[@Axios9]

Sixte

[@jonasm.8128]

iv

[@infectedbanana591]

wow. That went from " some good ideas but it's a little manic" to " chefs kiss" The 6 minute mark is a little repetitive. You could try making your ostinatos more interesting by messing with the rhythm and adding some passing notes.

[@alexconnolly5448]

second

[@flounder6800]

I like the original more.