How to create your own pretty privilege

[@catetanenbaum2418]

I've also noticed you can have a gorgeous feature, and if it's not someone's idea of beautiful, they won't comment on it or even notice it. This came home to me when I was with a group of friends and one was gushing about how pretty my curly hair is. I noticed my other friend looked literally startled, like she'd never noticed or thought my hair was nice. I've also had strangers tell me I have great hair, while my close friend suggested I cut it all off to make it easier to wash. So basically you can be absolutely beautiful but if it's not someone's specific type of beauty, they won't think it's pretty. So you gotta just love yourself.

[@RuffiRaggaMuff]

Wow! You really nailed it! I read your comment and immediately went to my Rolodex of memories!!!

[@Su-krosLily]

I love when you say 'i have to mention the sponsor of this video......which is me' 😂😂😂😂

[@wildeevolution]

Agreed! I love how you are so blunt about breaking this down. I recently figured out that I’m a flamboyant natural. Now instead of trying to hide my height and width with tight clothes, I’m filling my wardrobe with loose, comfortable pieces. I am never torturing myself again!

[@Elsie90581]

in their worst fashions and colors, people look like caricatures of themselves. in their best, it's simply right.

[@jennifers1040]

I think I'm going to have to get the full package! It's time I start to look my best.

[@jennifers1040]

19:48 that's me. I HAVE to do my hair or I'm a mess looking. And my hair is super thick curly/wavy.😢

[@rhondachapman7136]

I love this video, Merriam, because it’s so true…every woman has her own beauty! I wish I had your eye for this because helping women, young and old, look and feel their very best is such a wonderful thing. I think it’s very difficult for us to analyze ourselves too.

[@kathystclair9485]

I was always that girl who wanted to be taller. I am 5'1" and I always would have loved to be as tall as my sisters which are 5'5in. I am 67 and after having my body typing done by you it has been the first time I have really appreciated my height. The funny thing is a lot of the people who have to mention I am short are no taller than me. That shows me they are insecure about their height. I may not follow all the recommendations for my body type, as I can't replace my entire wardrobe but I have usually recognized what looks good on my type and what doesn't. If someone now mentions I am short it no longer bothers me, it's their problem if they have to mention it. Who does that anyways? Someone who is short already knows it just the same as someone who is tall who may be self conscious about their height. Why can't we all not only accept the way God made us, but also accept one another.

[@JR-sx3gl]

I love what you do. This is the future (hopefully) where everyone can find their own style and best look and discard fast fashion and trends that just don't suit them. I am a Rounded (Romantic) body type. Throughout my life I could not understand why I look so bad if I wear what's trending while other girls rock it. People would say to wear more feminine items and lose weight (although I was healthy weight, but you know how Romantics can easily look fat just because of ample bosom, more flesh, thicker joints: ankle, wrist is not as defined as in other types, so for example Marilyn Monroe would always pose with angles to make them look more delicate). I wasn't interested in looking like a doll, I wanted to express myself, but I lacked the understanding of the basic principles for my body type. What looks powerful and cool on Naturals can look overwhelming and really like you gave up on yourself on Romantics. What is playful and fun on Gamines can be too childish for Romantics. What is aetheral, mysterious on Dramatics or Naturals can look very seperate on Romantics. What's elegant on Classic can make Romantics look fat. But there is a way each body type can look powerful, fun, elegant, mysterious. It's just an aesthetic that needs to be curated to body type, not copied.

[@majatodorovic8683]

I totally understand you. I am also a romantic and it is soo true everything you've said :D I can both look terrible in trendy, mainstream clothes or breathtaking in romantic lines. I am lucky that I like romantic style, although more simple, and I also have a classic essence. I dress in romantic lines, and because I am cool and radiant and light- all my clothes are white and pastels 😂 It works wonders. Since I've discovered the magic of only one color or two on me I look my best really. I would say I wear "classic" models but in romantic lines, soft colors, dainty jewelry, highlighter and dewy foundation is a must. Glitter on the eyes also looks so good on me, not at all to much, it just suits me. I also love how a little bit of glitter looks in my inner eye corner. I tailor everything I own, I made 10 dresses with my tailor. The waist is cinched on all of them. And it's interesting that I realized through trial and error that shorter dresses look so much better...probably because we are wide and curvy, and too much lenght drags us down. At least it suits my symetry better. Long sleeved dresses are all 3/4, because it shows my delicate wrists and I look leaner. I am so happy how I look now, because I am, like Merriam said, honoring my beauty. Now I love my small waist, wide hips etc. When we are in right clothes, we just look sensual and lush. Marriam recently said in one video that , for the training, pastels and waist emphasis will do a lot for us and I laughed, because that's exactly what I do. When I train, I wear pastels, dainty piece of jewelery, skin is dewy, and, of course, waist emphasis. I do that by wearing something high waisted for the gym and then a tight cropped top, with a little bit of my upper stomach showing(the part that is the most narrow).

[@natalieyork956]

I absolutely love how steadfast you are with your opinions and advice. You are so wonderful at what you do. Literally I M always impressed with you.

[@Horsefaire]

Merriam, I love the way you stop and think- always great insights!

[@bigwildonion]

I appreciate the idea that we can honor our own beauty and uniqueness. It is so practical and helpful!

[@metislamestiza3708]

as time goes on, women come into their own. i'm 62 and i've learned what works for me and what doesn't. i have always had a classic style so a lot of my clothes have lasted a long time. i add clothing that is more trendy yet age appropriate, and nobody thinks i'm the age i am.i've never had work done, but i'm mixed race. in the end, looks don't matter. health does .

[@gamergirlmars]

That's what happened to me when people kept saying I'm a cool summer or cool winter. Dragged me down like crazy. I need some warmth in there so dressing as a BW/BS and figuring out I'm an FN helped change my whole vibe for the better. Just that slight switch in undertone to be neutral with bolder makeup was fabulous! My dark hair looks so great with dark eyeliner that many people would look gothic wearing it just looks "natural" on me tho. Red lip does too. And wearing black for me I just own it. Doesn't weigh me down bc of my very dark brown/black hair and gray eyes. This is just my natural coloring so adding the eyeliner to match or else just brow gel, blush, and a bright or bold lip if I want no eyeliner. I have a heart shaped face, almond eyes, with sharp bones super big/wide cheeks as widest part of my face that are sharp, I'm very tall and skinny too, and wearing dark cat shaped eyeliner that doesn't work for Rita is my staple that looks really quite natural even being so dramatic it's enhances all of my features. It's just one of my natural go to daily looks that would weigh down other people. Or be their night on the town makeup lol. Same with a red lip.

[@bellavitaheart4546]

Do a video explaining how you chose the colors, jewelry and hairstyles for yourself in these videos

[@sarasawyer2816]

I would love that as well!

[@ladywytch129]

Ahem. "Please."😏

[@HereIAm247]

@@ladywytch129 I was thinking the same thing 😂

[@autumnleaves-77]

To be fair to Jenna Coleman, the picture shown of her with her hair in a bun was from the TV show Victoria. She was playing Queen Victoria :)

[@robyn3349]

Fashion can be for us or against us! Victorian fashion is against her.

[@zamar2158]

I liked that look on her, more than the modern look where she looked plain with too strong a blush hand. In the former she looked sort of angelic, her features showed better.

[@kd2533]

Thank you! I'm starting to appreciate my natural shape and colouring at 42 (finally!)

[@linibellini]

I agree with the point that most people can make themselves look quite pretty / handsome if they style themselves in a flattering way. But I really, really don’t like the concept of pretty privilege. Because depending on the situation, it also brings downsides to be attractive. You get more unwanted attention by men, women see you more as a competitor, people often take you less seriously, think you’re not as intelligent, others assume you have an easy life cause you look pretty and put together. Like with most things there’s ups and downs even with being pretty.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

There are downsides to everything in life. I'll take the pretty privilege please and thank you. I'm a tough girl. I'll figure it out.

[@linibellini]

@@dahliaherrod4301 you sound a bit patronising. It doesn’t have to do with being tough. It sucks if you have been victim of s*xual violence and other things but still people treat you like you have it so good in life because you look a certain way.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

@@linibellini I actually have been a victim of sexual violence, jealousy from others and loneliness in part because of my looks. I refuse to lessen myself because of others. Other people no longer get a say in how I live my life. If it sounds patronizing so be it. I think all women should own the beauty God gave them.

[@zamar2158]

Like sexual violence and unwanted attention doesn't happen no non-pretty women. Please, that's an astoundingly terrible thought process. It's much better to be good looking, life is a lot easier. Undisputed fact. All sorts of opportunities, great confidence, halo effect, notpunishment for your sins etc etc. When mother nature smiles on you, you are truly blessed.

[@linibellini]

@@zamar2158 lol first of all I never claimed that this happens only to pretty women. Secondly you’re completely wrong about your assumptions. If I compare my experiences to that of slightly less pretty women, I do get exposed to more harassment and I notice it in myself that if I make myself look less attractive, I don’t get catcalled and harassed as much. Also it’s simply not true that good looking people avoid punishment. In fact I had several times in my life bosses or teachers that would be extra nasty to me or other pretty girls, because they were like you and assumed that our lives were too easy and we would have to pay for that. On top of that, especially in male dominated work spaces, you get taken seriously even less when you’re pretty. The amount of times I had to hear from both men and women that I was just hired because of my looks and not for my actual qualifications is ridiculous. Even with dating you attract mostly the attention of superficial idiots who only care about appearance while other guys simply assume you’re “out of their league”. But go ahead, don’t listen and keep on judging pretty people thinking they have it so much better and simply don’t understand your struggle, coming from their utterly “privileged” perspective. And about confidence: mine was terrible for most of my life because I was heavily abused in my childhood and thought I was worth nothing and had no talents. I’ve met plenty of average looking people with better self confidence than I had. Why you consider the halo effect a positive thing, I don’t get. Or maybe I have a different understanding of it? But having people want to be your friends because they want to “decorate” themselves with your appearance is actually very depressing. Do you know how painful it is, if no one’s actually interested in you or your character? No one really wants to get to know you, cares about you or is there for you in difficult times? That’s what crushes self worth, not being rejected cause someone doesn’t find you attractive…

[@tearoses321]

Self acceptance is freedom, and it’s our individuality that makes us beautiful. 😍

[@Cekatu]

Excellent analysis.

[@houda_2296]

I relate to Rita. The struggle is real😂😂😂 but how do I dress like this in everyday life. A beddazed /swarovski outfit with old Hollywood glam on a regular is a true commitment! Being a TR myself I struggle alot with the outfits and the hair must always be tamed/blown out too . The effortless hair looks frizzy and unkept on me 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[@mufithabuhari4021]

This is a great video. Thank you. Please do videos about styles and bone structures of princess Diana, Kate Middleton, Meghan Markle and Melania Trumph.

[@123kapul]

Especially Catherine, the Princess of Wales!

[@kitty_s23456]

​@@123kapulI think Princess Catherine is a soft summer and flamboyant natural body type. I've heard one analyst say that she's an in-transition type (soft summer/ soft autumn).

[@micheleleopold]

I just love you Merriam. You're so cute and smart, and funny.

[@Claudialupperocd]

Well I wish I could figure out if I have a look or type other than "nondescript." Maybe I have been overlooking what I am supposed to be doing. It's interesting to see the same person styled in different ways because it gives me ideas about what I could try. Thank you for another inspiring video.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

Yes honey! We love a self sponsor. Get your coin!

[@susanmcdowell2499]

Agree...great examples. A little difficult for me is I may be a soft dramatic....i get confused about the specifics....understand the silhouette dramatic with romantic overlay...but the details can get tricky.

[@stayathomemess]

I thought the second picture of Rita Ora looked beautiful and the third one looked stiff...

[@Dmeryt]

Really? I felt like she was trying to look like Adele who’s a SD in image 2. I thought it looked strange on her. I don’t know if Rita is a romantic. I didn’t think she looked good in 3 either. Better, but maybe not her best.

[@ms.x1669]

I wanted to comment this

[@123kapul]

Same. The 3rd picture seems constricted, and the 2nd looked very natural, especially with that gorgeous neckline.

[@ms.x1669]

You're such a mean girl... But I'm living for it 🤭🤣

[@Monas99]

you're totally right Merriam- EVERYBODY wants exactly what they DON'T have- LMAO 🤣🤣🤣 We, human are some weird creatures, but wonderful nonetheless. I love your latest videos that talks about the essence of beauty. These are fantastic, so thank you so much for this great content!

[@Elparker28]

I’m pretty sure she’s in costume for Queen Victoria though. She’s fantastic, if you haven’t seen it, check it out!

[@Houseofgamine]

Quote- looking chic is looking like you know what you’re doing! Facts

[@Vpaintings-x9e]

I'm obsessed with you and your videos!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@dahliaherrod4301]

I have found the best way to tell if a look is for you is whether or not you are recognisable. If I cannot recognise you without someone telling me your name then that's not your look.

[@evepatchett8481]

Great video. Agree with you. Thank you.

[@toni2309]

I was always really into these things. Now...I don't think there is really an option for me. I'm not really going to be conventionally attractive anyway. Not that my authentic me is conventional anyway, but it's a bit hard feeling like I don't fit into these spaces any more, not really having any guidance, and feeling a bit lost.

[@rudyantunes3442]

Such a nice video!!! Merriam what about FNs who have flat fine straight hair?? What's your rec??

[@gamergirlmars]

I add extensions to add volume and wave/curl. They make volumizer wefts specifically for this that are for volume not length. Adding those hidden crown extensions is great option the wire ones. Quick and easy. I'm an FN too btw. I was told trying to make your line outward/wider so baggier clothes/wider cut jeans like the flare at the bottom wide leg ones vs. skinny jeans can help be flattering too or dresses that are fitted up top but looser at the bottom/gets wider at the bottom is supposedly flattering for an FN too.

[@di3486]

Cut some layers and use your hands and a hydrating leave in conditioner to make some waves and air dry. If you do it for a while, your hair will acquire some volume.

[@Anita-silver]

I would love to see one of these breakdowns on a beveled firm.

[@adaintydream8759]

Kindly make a video on matt and glowy makeup, what suits whom?

[@MsSturbuck]

Amazing anaylis ! I wosh ęach and every woman understood that shw is beautiful and make up and hairstyle are just tools to show it.

[@JW-uq9yt]

That's so real ❤

[@nikharagrawal5808]

Hey, Mirriam, cheers, another nice video! I was wondering if someone has a mix of classic and gamine essences, would they have a low bar of "mixed traits" to be read as "mixed"? Because the slightest will disturb the balance, the difference between yin and yang could be sharper on a classic? Thus I keep oscillating from DC to C to SC. (I am thinking of your typing system even though I am using Kibbe names). It's been really easy to figure out that I am not Dramatic or Romantic or Natural -- and beyond that I just get confused.

[@raylin2057]

Thanks for the video!!!

[@matrescence_motherhood]

Very thoughtful

[@loffsamawlong4143]

To all ladies get out of toxic relationship. That is the true pretty privilege.

[@nataliedeister4152]

Kiera Knightley’s red lip makes her look like she just drank a red slushee or ate cherries or something 😂

[@cocoparisienne1779]

So interesting!

[@Bianca-nb7by]

Hi Merriam! I find it really hard to look my best due to my overbite and small chin and wondered if you (or anyone else here) has some tips for helping my face look more balanced ❤

[@seabreeze4559]

mewing for recessed chin

[@nfvjgrofgjvoldlkgvlo]

I would LOVE a consult on how I can get personal pretty privilege please

[@maricelg777]

❤

[@suek.2898]

How can I find my

[@Academic9999]

Jenna Coleman is dressed in character there as Queen Victoria.

[@jojoqueenofswords932]

Yes this is a typical hairstyle of the 1850s. Also the Victorians didn’t wear make up unless they were prostitutes.

[@merriamstyle]

oh I know that, I watched Queen Victoria and loved it.

[@GGTaye]

Such a. good video!!!!!!

[@elizabethsscenesscents]

Jenna was playing Queen Victoria in that look that wasn’t her best- in character she’s still lovely… but not the real her.

[@reneecrotty6910]

See I actually think she looks a lot better with the pearls and the classic hair! That’s one of the shows where I really admired her look!

[@merlinelencantador645]

agree

[@strawberrylove5684]

I personally don’t like it, I think it makes her look gray and dried out. But to each their own!

[@clownbag]

Me too.

[@ElyWill]

It doesn’t help her fake blue contacts make her look a little off in her gaze throughout the show.

[@Cekatu]

She looks like great grandma who still likes to dress up everyday, even when she is not leaving the house. Merriam knows what she is saying.

[@lookouthill11]

I’m solidly in disagreement about Rita, just the colors needed reversing. The soft glam looked like a really awkward costume and I didn’t like how it played off of any of her features. I guess I’d have to see other photos of her with different styles.

[@welshie2007]

Jenna can't look ugly if she tries.

[@adaintydream8759]

omg , i thought in my mind that rita ora is looking like a clown and after a second you said the same 😂

[@cocoparisienne1779]

I think it is so difficult to find out what I am. I suppose more Kira because I also cannot wear red lipstick and I also need an eye make up…. What type are you? Greetings from Germany ❤

[@marlysmithsonian5746]

I am the weird type where I am cool in winter and warm in summer, I saw a video you had put out. I literally became am Image Consultant and would wear warm colors in winter and look awful, or cool colors in summer and look so washed out. Do you have a video like this for people like me? I am so lost on how to change my look, or do I? HELP

[@clownbag]

Can't help but notice many of the 'bad' images were screenshots, and the 'good' pictures were photographs, often edited ones..

[@merriamstyle]

no, they were all screenshots.

[@ElyWill]

I am a FN with fuller cheeks, wide bone structure and dark features. Would KK’s best look work well on my type?

[@Rachael91]

I feel a bit silly asking but what is pretty privilege exaxtly? Surely there are pretty people who don't feel privileged.

[@merriamstyle]

if all other things are the same between two women, the prettier one gets better treatment. that is pretty privilege. not everyone who is pretty is otherwise fortunate, but being pretty in and of itself is fortunate in our society.

[@Rachael91]

@@merriamstyle thanks for replying! :)

[@lilac951]

I watch your videos on 2x speed and even then, it's too slow 😅

[@katitadeb]

Stop watching too much tiktok or shorts, they increase anxiety and shorten attention span.

[@lilac951]

@@katitadeb I don't watch tik tok 😏

[@strawberrylove5684]

A lot of us prefer her calm slow voice. It’s a refreshing change from most of KZbin , where the influencers are desperately talking as fast as possible so the young people won’t immediately lose interest in them

[@LaLaLo]

I admire this channel for this reason! Such a nice way of explaining things, easy to understand, etc.

[@lilac951]

@LaLaLo English is my second language, but it's too slow

[@prettynena3102]

Quote - when people does not respect their own beauty- that hits hard

[@robyn3349]

❤

[@karendeol5176]

❤