How to Deal with Anxiety and Start Living a Happy Life | Jesse GIUNTA RAFEH | TEDxSouthLakeTahoe

NOTE FROM TED: While some viewers may find this helpful as a complementary approach, please do not look to this talk as a substitute for mental health advice. This talk only represents the speaker's personal views and understanding of the brain and anxiety. TEDx events are independently organized by volunteers. The guidelines we give TEDx organizers are described in more detail here: storage.ted.com/tedx/manuals/t...
Our minds have long been designed to protect us from danger, often placing us in a state of constant fear or state of anxiety. But emotions do not have to happen to us any longer. By reprogramming and outsmarting our survival mindsets, we can create an emotional state of fulfillment, positivity, and peace that best supports our true selves so we can thrive as happy adults. JESSE GIUNTA RAFEH is a psychotherapist and certified success coach who’s helped hundreds of young adults who feel lost find clarity and direction in their lives. As a teenager, she struggled with anxiety, depression, and chronic self-doubt. Through her own emotional journey, she developed the tools and methodology that have helped her empower her clients. Jesse’s primary motivation and deepest satisfaction lies in the transformation she sees her clients achieve--through their own dedication, self-discovery, and strength. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@traceynorthcott5749]

My biggest takeaway is that reminding yourself of the good things you did that day is getting validation from inside and not relying on outside factors which you can't control.

[@jessegiunta484]

Exactly! Life is going to have highs and lows but how we relate to it internally can be a total game changer :)

[@RoRosetree]

Actually also the approach of Stoicism :)

[@svn7something205]

@@RoRosetree lot of people practicing stoicism without knowing its actually was a philosophy approach,its like our brain build this thinking as antibody for anxiety and unhapiness.

[@vickyclarke7626]

RRB-Musik Rachel k Kwwt. Klee L Ok I I

[@susanmccarthy7775]

Having Cancer twice now in remission so how do i feel compassion about that???

[@livingstoneoteng9307]

"Our brains are not wired to be happy!" So relieving!

[@jessegiunta484]

Yes!!!

[@sweety10591]

Anxiety can be used to propel us to new heights and signal a change in our lives. “Anxiety can be a motivator “. What a message. As a fellow psychotherapist this definitely hit home and I will implement these ideas into my own practice.

[@jessegiunta484]

I’m so happy to hear this resonated! Thank you!

[@Lcampio101]

❤

[@sadiaarman363]

"When we deny anxiety it grows like a wildfire, until we are frozen and cannot make any progress. " you just pinned the source of my deep freeze, lady!!

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

I’ve been there! We want to do everything we can not to face it and then as soon as we do it starts to dissipate.

[@wellnesspsychotherapist]

Brilliant talk! Self Awareness, Self Acceptance and Self Compassion the keys to living a less anxious existence. Also identify your personal values and move towards them, we get so caught up in what others and society think we should be doing. This causes tremendous anxiety.

[@jessegiunta484]

Good point! I believe life doesn’t come an instruction manual, so if we do not put energy into defining our purpose and our values, we can end up feeling more anxious and lost.

[@AscendingSoul-]

This helped me so much, im 17 I’ve been avoiding work due to this ,this is my first day returning I’ve decided to not run from my problems any more. To face them head on,I’m confident in myself and you all shall be confident in yourself that you will get thru this and everything else in life, love & peace too you all 🤲🏾

[@gabilafora4204]

Journaling has helped me a lot with my anxiety, to write about helps me to understand the cause of it and address it, often changing some habits that were causing it.

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Journaling has helped me a lot personally too, there is something about getting it out of our minds and onto paper that allows us to transform it!

[@jordantoronto863]

Oh my gosh, I think you’re speaking directly to me! THANK YOU FOR THIS TALK!!!!!

[@jessegiunta484]

Awesome, this makes me so happy to hear!

[@deborahalois]

Wow. Just thinking about the things I did today that I feel good about already puts a smile on my face. Thank you for this. So helpful 🙏🏾

[@jessegiunta484]

It makes me happy to hear you’re are already doing the practice right now!

[@islandghorl1914]

Thank God I came across to this video, and I’m facing anxiety at the moment. This ted talk brings me to tears. I should forgive myself for feeling this way and use anxiety to my advantage. Thank you.

[@jessegiunta484]

I’m so glad that this talk affected you in this way. I am sending you lots of good vibes.

[@shine7109]

well speech, I realized that how stupidly I am overthinking about the things going on around me, let it go and surround yourself with positivity and since realizing, wakling 1 hour and doing yoga and decreased the hours of my work 2 hours to spend the time with myself. Now i can see the happiness within me and not dependent on anyone.

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

That is sooo awesome! Way to go, we can all make the world a better place if we are emanating self-love and positivity!

[@gyanwisdomforlove]

I love the way you flip the positive, motivational big questions, by recognising how they bring up anxiety vs. Simple questions that just allow us to talk about what’s real for us. I also love how young people’s hopes have shifted from consumption to wanting to make a difference in the world… but recognising how this can become another form of pressure… and the small, daily desires feel more important than the things we believe, intellectually, to be be more important and our struggle to live up to our ideal self. Such a great talk.

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you so much Cathy- yes I think the younger generation gets misunderstood a lot!

[@kelseytaylor8075]

Beautifully said. Anxiety is really tough and just accepting and acknowledging it in that moment to see what I need to feel safe again is really helpful. I like the idea of replacing gratitude journaling with reflecting internally. 😍😍😍

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you!!! I am so glad you got something out of this talk.

[@absmoove1111]

This is exactly what I needed! Out of all of the videos I have watched recently concerning my recent experience with anxiety, this video spoke to me the most and made me realized I have been running from anxiety and not dealing with it! THANK YOU!!!

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

That is so amazing, thank you for sharing!

[@LivePainFreeKitanoMethod]

Zen Master Dogen Zenji also said “Instead of thinking I shouldn’t be anxious, recognize that I am anxious and it’s ok to be anxious. Then you might have achieved enlightenment.”

[@jessegiunta484]

Love it!

[@TopGun_-]

Learn to just be still and let life happen. Trust that this will all come together very soon. Meanwhile, know that you are loved, and all of us here are pulling for you.

[@kerubakaranangayarkannisiv3918]

In this talk she talked to my mind and put everything infront of me what I am doing for past decades, thanks for the insight and the perspective shift you made in me.

[@jessegiunta484]

I’m so glad this talk impacted you, I have a big smile on my face :)

[@kerubakaranangayarkannisiv3918]

@@jessegiunta484 Are you conducting any online sessions?, I could really use your help

[@erinachi6171]

Yes, that's why we need ourselves to not invalidate what we are feeling, may it be sadness, happiness, etc. Allowing ourselves and not forcing it to feel 'toxic positivity' is important. In validating our feelings or embracing it and not dismissing it is just so important. I felt so relieved after this talk. The universe knew that I needed this and I'm just thankful I came across this masterpiece.

[@jessegiunta484]

I’m so glad this touched you at the right moment time! Thanks for listening!

[@yuxianli3756]

I needed this today and everyday. Was reading on mental health since I notice I live in more and more anxiety since I started my own business. This is very helpful. Thank you for preparing such a valuable sharing Jessie!

[@jessegiunta484]

I’m so glad it touched you at the right moment in time!

[@fatin1750]

Good luck with your business ! You got it !

[@joyzeng6475]

It is so amazing the way you talk to me. Starting from tonight, I will write down three things I did everyday that I love and feel good about. Thank you, bless you, you gave me hope.

[@jessegiunta484]

Doing this activity myself, literally changed my life and my perspective. I am excited for you, let me know how it goes!

[@joyzeng6475]

@@jessegiunta484 Will update with you. Thank you.

[@YourSpeakingJourney]

“Why isn’t Mike texting me back?!” 😂 brilliant talk on anxiety “our brains 🧠 are not wired to be 😃 “ bringing real techniques to deal with it right now. With the perfect balance of levity. Everyone needs to watch this talk! (A bit biased as Jesse’s speaker coach 😂) really a must see talk!

[@jessegiunta484]

Haha, thanks Soness, I’m so I grateful for you!

[@Albitabony]

Caveman Mike* 🤣

[@antoniodossantos5960]

Anxiety...create a change...take it as a motivator, a challenge... what you did that makes you good about...🌎

[@jessegiunta484]

Yes! My anxiety took me right onto that TED stage and has given me so much more!

[@oliviacowie5791]

Thank you for encapsulating the thoughts of a 23 year old perfectly

[@jessegiunta484]

You’re totally welcome! Glad you got something out of it :)

[@summerintherockies9530]

“What are three things I did today that I can feel good about?” You focus on what is in your power and within your control.

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

That’s right! I’m doing it in this very moment 😉

[@debdepuy]

So helpful, hopeful and positive. Going to remind me that my anxiety is useful. And our brains may not be wired to be happy but here are some tools to get busy with the rewire. Well done!

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you ❤️!

[@GREEEEN986]

Okay so this is wild. I randomly came across this video maybe because my algorithm sees me watching KZbin vids on mental health and Ted talks. Regardless of that, I am So glad I took the time to watch it through. I saw a lot of myself in this talk, the negative self doubt has created crippling anxiety throughout my life and only recently have I learned to surrender and not succumb to the panic attacks/low episodes of depression, but easier said than done. I truly believe everything she said is true and I needed this reminder about happiness. Also, totally off topic but I know Ive crossed paths with this woman at one point in my life..Ages ago. I was at my absolute worst, in a toxic/codependent relationship with someone I thought I could love. It was So long ago, and I’m happy to say I’ve been married for 10 years, and I’m content with my husband and kids, a survivor but I’m happy. It’s still bizarre that I came across this video when I was at some of the saddest moments of my life years ago when crossing paths. You probably don’t remember me. I was in a relationship with, funny enough you mention the same name in the video, “Mike” he is a cousin of Mark’s I think and lives in the UK again. Truly I think it was an eye opener again, a deep reminder of why it’s so important to love yourself, create your own idea of happiness whatever that means to you . Everything is temporary, life is finite. 🤟🙏 be well

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

I’m so glad this found you at the right time in your life. That is crazy that the challenging person in your life’s name was Mike!

[@frankelaridi6395]

Wow so insightful. Thanks for these tips. Your clients are lucky to have you 🙏🙌🏼

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you so much! 🙌🙏

[@taxigourmet]

Ah, the tyranny of the shoulds...Jesse deconstructs the anxiety so many of us are feeling and gives us such a powerful tool to contend with it: the self-appreciation exercise. Simple AND profound. Thank you!

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you Layne!

[@naeb9486]

This was placed together beautifully. Anxiety is so big in my life now I have a better understanding.

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

I’m so happy to hear that, sending you lots of good vibes.

[@dk1m]

Really appreciated the talk! It’s a great reminder that anxiety is not always bad!

[@jessegiunta484]

Awesome thank you!

[@FrankElaridi]

Love!!! So helpful

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you, so glad it resonated!

[@gambit9701]

Watching ted talks is a great pass time ,much more these talks are benefits to people who are finding answers to themselves

[@jessegiunta484]

So true! It is amazing how we can all share information to help each other today!

[@kavitakrishnan1471]

Excellent talk! "Failing at affirmations too"- hits close to home...thank u, just what I need

[@jessegiunta484]

So glad that it touched you, sometimes those affirmations unintentionally backfire for sure.

[@awholeskoolboy]

man i love TEDx Talks i actually enjoy every episode and i learn a lot man😘😭😭😭

[@ifsunnyace8464]

Such a powerful talk!! Thanks for sharing this. It brings me hope for facing my life now. When you mimicking the inner voice when we feel anxious, I feel that someone really knows me. Love your talk so much! I also hope everyone who watched this video to live a happy, fulfilling life. No matter what you are thinking about yourself, not worthy of love, low self-confidence, you are much better than you think:)

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

I’m am so happy it touched you! It’s so true we all deserve to be fulfilled, happy and loved!

[@user-pq4cc5lu7e]

There is a subtle difference between "What are the good things about myself?" and "What are the good things that I did today?" The former question that I've been asking myself since I was young just made me feel miserable. Thank you so much for posting this video. I feel much better!

[@gone6495]

It's ok to be anxious. Be generous to yourself.

[@jessegiunta484]

Yes! It’s a game changer!

[@ekasupariyanti2288]

This is something that i need to hear these days. Thanks for bringing this up. I have a lot of insecurities that make me so anxious and that's why i start practicing journaling. But after watching this talk, i just realised that it's true that i wrote many external things in my journal as things that i'm grateful of. I'll take your notes that we need to be grateful of our inside and face/deal with the anxiety. Thanks for the Talk!

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

I’m so glad that it resonated with you. Figuring out what I felt good about inside myself was an absolute game changer for me!

[@emilythesongbird2306]

Brilliant talk spoken with wisdom, compassion and kindness. Loving ourselves through fear and anxiety is what transforms the survival wiring in our brains. You give us simple ways to gently face our anxiety and accept and love who we are. Thank you for being a self-compassion beacon for us all.

[@jessegiunta484]

Wow, Emily, thank you for your high compliments! This talk came from my heart, so I am glad that came across :)

[@annahuynh083]

I love the way she presented. Thank you for this talk!

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

You’re so welcome! I’m glad it resonated with you!

[@Stinkwolff83]

One of the most helpful ted talks I’ve ever watched.

[@tothiminhhien4529]

Helpful talks like this need spreading more & more. Thank you, the speaker!

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you so much!

[@intissartouhami2363]

I love your words ...you are amazing ...with your honest and precious words ❤❤❤

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thank you so much! It means so much to me that my talk touched you!

[@JMScreative]

This was so interesting! So many helpful ideas about not only how to deal with anxiety but also a different way of thinking about it. Shifting our thought process and understanding of an emotion that EVERYONE deals with. Highly recommend this to literally everyone!

[@jessegiunta484]

Wow, high compliments, thank you!!!

[@user-co5xm3mx8i]

THANK YOU

[@Neknee88]

I loved the tip about a different way of expressing gratitude. "I feel good about..." Thank you

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

So glad that hit home!

[@saibhavanasasidharan3103]

It was so relieving and revealing !!!!loved it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@jessegiunta484]

That makes me so happy to hear, thank you!

[@mohibquadri4053]

This is Absolute Gold 💛

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you!!!

[@AnyssaManuela]

I feel exactly the way you said. It’s so satisfying to fall on this video because I want to come out of this situation. Thank you

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

You’re totally welcome, I’m so glad it resonated with you!

[@push2talkbox370]

"Our brains are not wired to be happy"... thank you for that openminded phrase , it remaind me that I am normal person :) in context of fake happy instagram pictures

[@jessegiunta484]

I’m so glad that helped, that phrase is probably what has helped me the most in my life live free of anxiety

[@yplaza0011]

So informative! I enjoyed looking back at the good things I’ve done today, including the fact that I shared this video with a handful of people that I love & felt would benefit from it. 😍

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thank you so much! I’m so happy the talk touched you :)

[@danayaniyah]

One of the best TEDx Talks ever, THANK YOU!!

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Awesome! Absolutely my pleasure!

[@kristinakury2716]

Just rewatched this so I could watch with a friend :) so much wisdom in this talk. 💜 It’s nice that other people struggle with affirmations to 😂

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thanks, Kristina! Your support means so much! 💗

[@aminahibrahim6968]

I just love her talk

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thank you so much!

[@aliaalnuaimi528]

Thank you for meaningful speech!!

[@jessegiunta484]

I’m so glad it impacted you in a positive way!

[@walishasiraj4280]

This is just what I needed to hear . Thank you !

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

You’re so welcome!

[@erikespitia2926]

What a beautiful video, I really needed to watch something like this.

[@rich.kokoro]

Thank you so much for sharing! It really reminds me that I shall appreciate myself more, it's self-love! : )

[@jessegiunta484]

Exactly! Thanks so much for checking it out!

[@eieilin2809]

Thanks 💗💗

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thank you for listening!

[@aniesarangua777]

Amazing! Thank you for sharing!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thank you for listening!

[@nillaayunda]

Love this talks so much

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

I’m so happy it touched you :)

[@andreasmorhofer6826]

What a great lady…

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thanks!

[@Laurenmarierose]

Wow, so relevant and helpful! There is a sort of two worlds feeling I am dealing with and working through. Thank you for sharing.

[@jessegiunta484]

You’re totally welcome. I think we are all dealing with those 2 worlds, doing the best we can.

[@peterbasumatary]

I felt like i came here for reason, worth listening to it.

[@tarasuppleton]

truth

[@jessegiunta484]

I’m so happy to hear that!

[@luzsennysantos233]

she's amazing

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you!

[@myatmoat4249]

This talk deserves million views.Thank you.Its such priceless to me.

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

That touches my heart thank you!

[@zoegillis8087]

Such a great talk!

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you that means so much!

[@Albitabony]

thank you!! felt this video as a hug

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Yeeeees! It was meant to be!

[@stacytee654]

Love it so much. power of self appreciate

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Yes! Thank you 😊

[@chlorophyllmorelikeboraphy6874]

Love this!

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thank you!

[@PJVist]

My biggest takeaway is to take things as they are and not as what they should be!

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Yes exactly!

[@MateusOliveira-tv5ir]

Amazing talk! Thanks.

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you for watching!

[@suditichowdhury781]

amazing video. I am grateful that I saw this video💕💕💕 i really feel empowered

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

That makes me so happy 😀

[@bhasmangyajnik3632]

Awesome explanation...so true

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you, so glad you got something out of it!

[@draziraphale]

A great talk, thank you

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you!

[@sureshsajo]

It's a great thought and i think it will continue to help viewers

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you Sajo!!!

[@Tony-er5us]

It was a brilliant and wonderful talk. I started looking for your books am Amazon

[@jessegiunta484]

Awesome! I’m really proud of my book, Life Launch, it gives a much more in depth perspective of these ideas. If you end up reading it, I would love to hear your thoughts on it!

[@edmiller5669]

She's talking about Joy. Joy is happiness in spite of your circumstances. You only get that through God, Jesus, and the Bible. The world isn't going to help you.

[@deefayy]

So wonderful and helpful. Thank you Jesse. :)

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you so much!

[@MsSweetStacey]

Top best video I watched that is so helpful, thank you for this.

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

You’re so welcome!

[@antoniodossantos5960]

Thanks 🌎

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Your welcome 🙏

[@johnmorris9874]

Amazing speech! Inspiring...

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you so much!

[@rak631]

Really helped me. Thank you sincerely

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

So happy it did!

[@becomingaware]

Great info Jesse! Sharing!!

[@jessegiunta484]

So glad you got something out of it!

[@deniseklainguti8998]

Beautiful talk!

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thank you!

[@peterp581]

This is exactly what I have found. You can be anxious and depressed, but once you get motivated to start on a project, work hard at it, and complete it, you feel fantastic. The self appreciation comes from you own thoughts, actions, and achievements.

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Right on! Exactly what I have found myself :)

[@Aries-eo5ki]

💕this was so helpful

[@jessegiunta484]

I’m so glad!

[@billywalters5469]

Interesting talk, thank you.

[@jessegiunta484]

So glad you got something out of it!

[@jamshidnikkerdar2074]

That's wonderful

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

I’m so glad you got something out of it :)

[@jaya2686]

Thank you Jesse and it was an eyeopener😊😊 Just need your suggestion on what things can be considered as good on being a housewife and doing the same routine every day

[@jessegiunta484]

Even though you’re doing the same things there are still nuances in what happens, like, “I feel good how I tried a new recipe to nourish my family with or I feel good about how I was able to really listen and be present for my partner or I feel good that I exercised today and took care of my body” It is ok if you repeat things too, the most important part is that you feel love for yourself. Best of luck!

[@jaya2686]

@@jessegiunta484 Thank you Jessie🙂🙂

[@owenteichroeb272]

Great talk! This lady killed it

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thank you!

[@BindNamp]

👌🙏 great talk!

[@jessegiunta484]

Thank you!

[@nataliagolberg8473]

So goood. Thanks. I will listen to this great video more. Because i feel good, while I am watching it))

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Awesome! I’m so happy to hear that :)

[@Tom-iw3zh]

Happiness is based on "happenings". Joy is something much much deeper. The secret is for YOU to be changed, as no matter your surroundings or circumstances YOU are like a plague following yourself everywhere you go. Times are only going to get harder. Turn to the Lord Jesus Christ and let Him give you His peace, a peace which "surpasses all understanding" as it will be in you, though the world is in chaos all around you.

[@jessegiunta484]

Joy is from a much deeper place, thanks for connecting :)

[@Hoho-ww5yh]

Such a great speech 😗

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Thank you 🙏

[@faithangcao8884]

I love this plssssss

[@mariamimi8497]

I’m taking notes 📝

[@jessegiunta484]

Awesome!

[@precious_jam1232]

Im crying right now. 😭 I just can't let it go that easily

[@jessegiuntarafehmft5024]

Sometimes it’s freaking hard to let go!

[@Wifeymaterialuniversity]

Hope you are doing better.

[@Gelindeful]

If you think the pandemic was bad from a WFH perspective, try riding it out from the low wage, no hazard pay frontline employee perspective.

[@jessegiunta484]

So true, I cannot even imagine on challenging that must have been! My heart and my gratitude goes out to all frontline employees.

[@evilsaage6680]

i have never commented on a post before but that was her first tip

[@evilsaage6680]

hi