How to deal with perfectionism: exposing its inner workings

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I consider myself a perfectionist in recovery. In this episode, I discuss some of the realizations I had that helped me overcome this debilitating habit many years ago. By understanding why (and how) I was selectively attending to certain aspects of my work and life (and not others), I was able to see the absurdity at the heart of my perfectionism, which substantially affected my willingness to maintain the habit.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #perfect #success

[@psychacks]

I consider myself a perfectionist in recovery. In this episode, I discuss some of the realizations I had that helped me overcome this debilitating habit many years ago. By understanding why (and how) I was selectively attending to certain aspects of my work and life (and not others), I was able to see the absurdity at the heart of my perfectionism, which substantially affected my willingness to maintain the habit. Pre-order my book: amzn.to/3UlsTsY Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #perfect #success

[@wildtwindad]

As an interior finish carpenter/millworker, perfectionism is both a gift and/or a curse. As I have progressed in mastering my craft, the ability to turn "on" my "keen eye for detail" and turning it off is essential to my sanity. Until I learned how to switch it on/off there was a state of mental agony and a fixation on mistakes that noone but me would notice/know.

[@othellologos8225]

You are an excellent example. Thanks for posting this. 🥂

[@JordanNexhip]

My perfectionism was obsessing over tiny details in my music that no one would ever notice or care about. Was terrified of uploading anything to youtube that wasn't my 100% best and it would end up taking me like 200 hours to finish a song. Now I just do like 80% of my best while only taking 1/10th of the time. 80% of my best a year from now will be better than 100% of my best today anyway.

[@anthonygil1522]

I had that same problem so I would sort of trick myself by telling myself , Well I'll come back and do a remix version later...Right now this is good enough to release... Then I would come back later at some point and listen to the track again and almost all of the time I'm like "WTF this track sounds great ! It doesn't need a damn remix lol"

[@yuriy5376]

But what if the reason for your steady improvement is exactly the fact that you were doing more work than absolutely necessary?

[@anthonygil1522]

@@yuriy5376 Fear of what people will think is the real reason many people don't put stuff out using the excuse that it is not finished yet..IMO

[@StingrayMk1]

So true! All those hidden nuances that you know nobody will ever hear but yourself! Despite how much you want them to notice...

[@moderngoblin]

Woot! Good job!

[@skjelm6363]

As an artist I learned early to aim for the perfect, while knowing that perfection doesn't exist.

[@bartholetbayana9198]

Interesting video content, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@SamuelLee-kc3rh]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

[@bartholetbayana9198]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@SamuelLee-kc3rh]

Her name is shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@bartholetbayana9198]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@MrMcWitt]

I’m sorry to hear that man. Sounds like you are finally learning the lesson to wake you up to the realities of female nature. I highly recommend checking out more of Orions content and hoemath as well

[@ChristopherT1]

I saw the punchline coming Orion! Had the same experience as a sole proprietor of a small business. Thought my clients could only be properly served by me at $125/hr until I took on an assistant at $13/hr and they loved him. Stopped doing about everything but billing and my clients gave zero shits.

[@bladenovak]

What industry if you don’t mind me asking?

[@testingcoder]

small hack: if you move the microphone to the 45 degrees left or right - it will significantly reduce plosives and improve the sound :)

[@tonybernard4444]

I got a wonderful lesson from a western movie, where a young cowboy was doing laundry in a tub and washboard. He was struggling with the same shirt scrubbing and checking, scrubbing some more, etc. An experienced cowboy showed him the way, dunk, scrub, scrub, check. If there's a stain, dunk, scrub, scrub, and that's it, move on. In other words, doing laundry doesn't mean removing every molecule of dirt, it means following a reasonable procedure with due diligence and accepting that's the best he can do with a finite investment. I've found this works with many things, like shaving. As a perfectionist, I would go over the same spot many times, not really getting a closer shave, but definitely causing irritation. Now, the first pass is with the grain, which is never going to be a close shave, so don't even try; just go through the motions, cover the beard once and only once. Then a quick lather and the second pass is against the grain, again, one pass only. After than, check for egregious whickers and hit them with one pass only. The end. It's quicker than it used to be, 99% as close and with no irritation whatsoever. By the way, this acceptance of imperfection doesn't mean settling for a crappy job. The effort you give when you give it the treatment should be the best you can do, learn proper technique, be mindful when you're working, try to get it right. Chances are, you're the only one who can tell it's not perfect.

[@Terrapin47-s8y]

I think a healthy balance of perfectionism and completionism is a good thing. Small details + big picture = reality. Perfectionists usually forget the bigger picture.

[@junetaylor8396]

My dad was a perfectionist. He started projects and could never finish - because it wouldn't be perfect. My neighbour always finishes what he starts the same day!!

[@MyName-tb9oz]

Yeah... I'm _that_ dad, too... Ugh. I have a house full of unfinished projects. Did your dad fall into the, "creeping feature-ism," trap, too? That's when you keep thinking of ways you can make your project SO MUCH BETTER if you just add, "this one more feature," to it. I do that. A LOT.

[@the_unplugged_dude]

😂 best episode so far. I was like you. I always tell my students not to become perfectionists, because noone ever will neither recognize nor pay your perfectionism.

[@The8ThMonk]

I needed this As a perfectionist myself, it's been frustrating. I have to tell myself not to be too specific or too detailed about something beacuse at the end of the day, i'm the one working overtime for other people for free. Thanks for the video🙏👍

[@tobe-you-tube6612]

Money again.

[@eric_linden]

Pobody’s Nerfect.

[@Zobovor]

You misppeled that.

[@IfSemper]

: )

[@thecurrentmoment]

Tcefrep s'ydobon

[@thecurrentmoment]

​@@ZobovorU misspelled cat

[@gaviahuja5352]

😂😂

[@MyName-tb9oz]

I think the biggest thing with, "perfectionism," is that you actually don't _want_ to finish the project because you're literally terrified that it's not going to turn out to be as good as you expect it to. So you just keep tweaking things so that you never actually finish the job and you never have to worry about the final product...

[@maxhung69]

wow. perfect GRE - very impressive. I barely got into the top 1%

[@theunknown8203]

As a perfectionist myself, this video was really useful. Thanks, Orion. I'm looking forward to seeing more videos from you in the future.

[@bellamydog1000]

I’m also a recovering perfectionist. Another great video. Can’t wait until your new book is on Audible.

[@tomdoingfunstuff]

I find the concept of demonstrating perfectionism in the small things as a great way to earn goodwill when you are starting out. I think this practice has its time and place.

[@artmeditationvista1526]

OK guys, I took Dr O's advice and applied the 3 prong approach he advised with my new gf. First I moved to a country where my decent success would be a huge success...be a "contextual alpha." Then I made sure to be emotionally available to her and fully supportive of her religious beliefs. Finally I am consistently bringing my optimistic self to our relationship. Simple, very effective frame for building a male dominant intimate relationship. It's going great! TY!

[@mountain.spider]

I'm a perfectionist, but I've learned early to tone it down a bit. There's nothing wrong with being a perfectionist. The issue is that we sometimes expect the same thing from others, not realizing that everybody's not the same makes you realize not to be overly perfectionist. It can be seen as picky and can damage relationships. Some really do like perfectionist because it covers everything. In my job environment they love the fact that I'm detail oriented, but I know that speaking and interacting with some can rub off the wrong way. Anyways, about toning the perfectionism down for yourself it's a matter of being complete and thorough, but also not picking on every tiny little thing you. The way I handle that is by looking at the overall project, times spent, and I noticed a lot of detail things, I learn to accept it. Perfectionist really need to be careful with interacting. sometimes we need to accept the jobs are done well by others and I realize what type of person they are and that they are not the same. What I mean by that is there are lazy people, Non perfectionist, superficial, to the point variety, social and not social even expressive etc. Imagine if someone was dealing with a perfectionist and constantly it was never good enough or there was something wrong or you're correcting them, perfectionist do correct people on work related stuff sometimes even communication but the important part is not to overwhelm them, mixing positive with negative is always good both ways. the way to fix it for yourself is looking at the positive of what you're doing whether it's a job or anything. (for yourself).

[@tommiller7177]

Perfect is the enemy of good. Good enough is sane. Perfect is insane.

[@Ogudomon]

I noticed it when i was 15 during a class in high school... I was so self absorbed in looks amazing that i forget to do the... BASIC. That was make a good content. It was shocking for me that i was being so shallow with the things that i had so much pride, a pathetic one. So i throwed it all out and shut down my writing, guitar skills and etc... I felt everything i did was trash, even when some people said enjoy it, because they words felt like pity... Tho, that helped me a lot on work. Instead focus in looks amazing, i focused in do my job correctly, quick and treat my costumers correctly, instead trying to looks "amuzing." People doesn't care if something is deep, beautiful or any shallow stuff, except if it's exactly what they are looking for. Due that experience i just focused in giving what people want. So my problem with women started, because the obvious stuff, they don't really say what they want is what they really want... And people are confused as well... So due that change of heart i could start to sort out and help my costumers find what they want and offer it for them... Still doesn't work with women, but oh well... One day i find out.

[@henrikreid6684]

That's a perfect shirt btw! This episode is one of the most important that Orion has ever released IMO. Why? Because he is exposing his own struggle with this brutal relentless beast. I get really really interested when I hear Doctors/ PHDs talk about their own mental health struggles. Dr Robert Glover and Dr. Gabor Maté ( I am a big fan of both) have also shared their struggles. This really helps people who unfortunately did not have very good parenting or had major trauma and are doing the long hard work it takes to get unstuck. Thanks Orion! You are a GREAT GUY!!!!

[@tiomoidofangle102]

"Do not let the best be the enemy of the good." -- Milton Friedman

[@tobe-you-tube6612]

Too late

[@carlosoehler]

Brilliant as usual. You really are a gift man.

[@chrisnelson6686]

As we used to say in construction, "Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff."

[@armorbearer9702]

It makes sense. Like beauty, what is considered "perfect" is in the eye of the beholder.

[@marktapley7571]

Most people are just mediocre at most of what they do. The difference in outcome and reputation is accomplished by those who consistently put forth extra effort in each task, without going overboard.

[@mjerelb8659]

Thanks for the vid Perfectionism often obstructs progress

[@isaackahiga4530]

That thumbnail is perfect!

[@JohnSmith-ti2kp]

Most day to day problems are caused by people that are not perfectionists: recalls on cars, roads that fall apart and bridges that collapse, house appliances that last only a few years, jet airplanes that fall out of the sky, and on and on.

[@davidd6660]

We're peeling back the layers here.

[@FriendlyManitoban]

Great video. Thanks for sharing the handwritten invoices example. Helped give it all context and made it relatable. - Thank you again.

[@mikokun7714]

In 2024 This is The Most Important topic you need to make Dozen's of Videos On. Everybody Feels the need to be a 'Billionaire' to be satisfied. Please continue to help more with this.

[@waysofzen]

Perfectionism is a double-edged sword... the feeling of un-satisfaction with your best... on one hand, this dissatisfaction with your current best drives you to do better... and when u hit that goal or milestone that un-satisfaction will drive u towards the next milestone... Perfectionism is the endless cycle of this process... the overachievers are perfectionists, constantly unsatisfied with their current best or they always see room for improvement... can make a person very successful in life. The double-edge is that u can never enjoy yourself cuz you are consumately unsatisfied. Watch for the trap of the double-edge... cuz at the end of the day, your best is perfect !!

[@Monaleenian]

You can shift your mindset, as Orion describes here, much later in life, when you have really mastered your craft. Then you’ll be able to really enjoy your mastery.

[@facelessman5362]

A book that changed my life on this topic is: Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression by Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

[@xelanosemag]

6:53 Nailed it. Learning better ways to improve every day 😣🙌

[@caiolopes4680]

Thanks!

[@Snoop_Dugg]

Theres a methodology in Business, and IT called Agile. Its very much an apporach of completing a full project or programming software fast, with all the key features you would expect. The catch. It's iterative so the value lies in identifying problems that ordinarily you would have only found out too late. The iteractions were the solution to perfection, because you need to get the core parts delivered first.

[@johncapito4066]

Thank you for sharing this. I am discussing this a lot in therapy right now. Your video was helpful.

[@sibabalwesinyaniso4491]

I'm grabbing the book ASAP, I hope it has everything I need for the new chapter.

[@zensvlognotapro]

My desire to perfection makes me more imperfect and lead me to mistakes. I'm scared to fail, to criticism the reason why mistakes for me is not the things I did in the wrong way but the things I never take. But that's fine life is not about to live with regrets and blaming and not letting go. Life is about to enjoy the fruits of our labor, or enjoy the things/people that we have,

[@darrenschmidt1617]

Aloha Orion, Ironically enough, the very writing of this note to you exemplifies my 'perfectionism' as you are terming this dynamic. Regardless, your analysis in this video has led to a significant and even epiphanic development in my particular path. As cynical as I can be regarding the 'life coach' prescriptive type of stance that people may be taking in our brave new world and all the rest; I'd feel remiss to not at least extend my thanks to you for your words (alongside pointing folks your way who may benefit). It seems "satisfice" has got to be one of the most counterintuitive words to remember, for me anyway. Indeed, I'm amazed that it is actually a word (I've been an English teacher/writer for many years). And yet, f*ckin' aye of course - that's a damn important word! If you see an 'epic' creative work entitled 'Saturn Spice', rest assured you'd had a part in its hatching. I merely needed a mnemonic device heh. Looking forward to your further shared insights. genki de, Darren

[@brianbachmeier34]

We're all gonna make it brahs

[@tkrohnjr]

I've been watching a few PsycHack videos, and I want to say excellent job! I find them very informative, and your perspective on life through the lens of psychology is refreshing. Your original thinking in teaching ideas is impressive. I do have a question. It seems like almost everything you discuss is reduced to a value perspective. For example, in one video, you mentioned that value is prescribed by others, quoting, "The cat decides the milk it likes." This made me think that reducing personal value to what others perceive seems wrong. People have intrinsic value just because they are people, not because of what they can do for others. While some people may have added value due to specific needs, everyone has inherent worth. Maybe I am mistaken in your perspective, or I'm misunderstanding something.

[@darrenschmidt1617]

@tkrohnjr, I think you bring up an important question, particularly in the technocratic state we all find ourselves in. It might be insightful to analogize to a tree's value. To hubristically decide on the set of values that 'correctly' assesses the tree's value (and ignoring its inherent value), that would be missing a significant truth. I think the 'devil's in the details' with that one, but intuitively it strikes me as relevant to issues of our shared public wellness. aloha.

[@eduardoPicazzo]

Or rather. Most customers are too basic or have no taste, to appreciate such details. Orion being so spot on on most of his insights. I sometimes end up in the danger of defaulting as if he were always right. He’s not. And although I agree perfectionism can act as a crutch… If what he said were true, brands like apple wouldn’t be apple, true outliers wouldn’t exist. And it shows. His thumbnails wouldn’t be that distinct and he wouldn’t speak the way he speaks. It’s just he didn’t have the leverage at the time. Not all customers are the same.

[@jordansage9655]

Excited for the upcoming book! Hoping there will be an audible or print version down the road. Great episode

[@IfSemper]

(There will. He'll announce through his free newsletter. Link in description tab.)

[@beach_lion]

this is so good and helpful, banger video idea and perfect execution :3

[@anewlifestirring]

Excellent présentation dear doctor; invaluable source of inspiration through the authenticity and candeur you demonstrate I will have to watch it carefully be for replying, perhaps offline if you care.

[@jaimiejin7992]

I would obsess over details that nobody cares about too. That at the end of the day is not delivering value to others, I agree.

[@immortaljanus]

I call it 'my autistic self'. At work (I work in data analysis) I have to be perfectionist so I deliver accurate results. A lot of my work requires thinking broadscope where I set up a process, then I dive in and actually become the process. I go into the zone where the littlest thing will bother me. But then I come out and I'm human again.

[@BeautiHacks]

Being a perfectionist is a lot of work. Most people don’t understand that it takes way more energy to try to do everything A+ all the time. Most perfectionists are very critical of themselves and messing up is a no no for them. Since they aim for accuracy it’s hard for them to start something new until they know ALL the details because somehow they expect perfection even when they don’t know what they are doing yet. But, they will almost always learn their lessons and won’t make the same mistakes twice. What makes life harder for perfectionists is the amount of effort it takes for them to do things… this can lead to procrastination or even being stuck. It’s far better to do something and fail while learning along the way than to not start something because of a (compensational) need to be perfect. My man says it’s better to do things 70-85% good and keep it moving than to try to reach 100% all the time. Which works in some cases but not in all. I bet straight A type of students probably try to be perfect in almost all aspects, but it’s not sustainable when you have too much going on. Perfectionists are also good at finding fault in things that aren’t perfect. While being the best at something in your field has its upside, trying to micromanage every aspect of something can drive you nuts unless you simplify it. I wonder if all perfectionists prefer working on things alone? …. or if most perfectionists have some form of artistic expression they excel in?

[@marktapley7571]

You mean artistic expression they try to expel in.

[@louisepotier2784]

Thank-you.

[@fanaticfloyd]

I always like the video before I see it. Simpleu

[@VincentFulco]

Great stuff

[@patrickgrengs7594]

I am an 80 - 80 - 80 man. On the first pass over a project, I will get about 80% of it done. For many projects, 80% is actually sufficient. If a second pass is necessary, I knock out 80% of the remaining 20%... now I am up to 96%... and most projects are "done" at this level of completion. Very few projects require "perfection" -- which means implementing a third pass ... 80% of that final 4% means that after three passes, the project is now 99% complete. On first glace, this process appears to be highly inefficient -- however, in my application of it, I am OK with incompleteness and imperfection on a first pass and move swiftly through the realization of a project. Personal recent experience -- I drove from Arizona to Washington State, for sundry reasons, one being a summit bid of Mt. Hood (high point of Oregon). After making my way an hour up the south-side slope, I discovered that I had forgotten my sun-hat and snacks ... however, I did have the essentials and a summit was enjoyed. The 80-80-80 approach can also work in software development -- first, create the "walking skeleton" - a version of the product that can be demonstrated to the client - 2nd pass, flesh out the features, 3rd pass, ensure all operational paths through the software are accepted by the client as per the requirements.

[@IfSemper]

Thank you for sharing! Enjoyed hearing you talk about this topic along with your personal experiences. Doesn't sound silly at all, though! I bought a feather pen & inkwell for the antique desk i inherited from my Grandfather where he wrote his sermons for the Church he Pastored. Guess a correlation could be, no need to spend time writing calligraphy Church bulletins if your calling is sermons. Follow your giftings/calling...your heart & excellence can't help but shine through. : )

[@JohnSmithEx]

I am the owner of a collection of perfectly handwritten receipts, written by Dr Taraban himself when he was young. These receipts are in perfect condition, and they and extremely valuable. I am storing them in a perfect box, placed inside a perfect safe. The receipts weigh about 1.2 Kg (2.2 pounds) without the box, and I am willing to exchange them with a tenfold weight of gold, or a hundredfold weight of silver. Or an equal weight of Orionium.

[@berengergranier9797]

Very well-thought and helpful advice ! I would appreciate hearing more from you on narcissism, self confidence and being authentic

[@JaySmith-pv2mw]

Sometimes you miss out on the very good in pursuit of the perfect.

[@MicahMadru]

I'm a perfectionist as well and even in computer programming, perfectionist tendencies can be a terrible thing.

[@mkrafts8519]

I usually think your content is spot on and very insightful. Even this video has valid insights. But ive seen the topic of perfectionism spoken on by many people and none of them give it a fair shake. They all seem to quickly swap out perfectionism for "shortsightedness" or "eccentric". But these character traits are not perfectionism as a perfectionist would have known such volatile actions were imperfect. To give an example, you said "the cat decides if the milk is good". This is a bad teaching to apply to humans. Because cats are a defaulted program which have tastes congruent with its survival. Humans are not and do not. They have whims and flings and experiemtal binges. Thats why we "make the child eat his vegetables". Because we know that humans have a short term and longterm gratification scale that often contradicts. So too with trends vs solid business practices. Personal handwritten letters has never been a successful business practice done en masse. However, the same when given at the initial sale such as a subscription, or celebrity book, or a gift basket to a ceo or vip, or a request to prevent cancelation, all are known to be proper times for hand written letters. Doing them too much lowers the sanctity and value of the situation. Something youve covered in other videos actually.

[@abhishake2478]

A good enough day today is better than the best day tommorow

[@edwardyoutube]

As a perfectionist I learned this throughout the years and Orion is right. Except when applied to selected professions, perfectionism is mostly just a waste of time and a coping mechanism deep down. With that said, producing an imperfect result still gives me a feeling of annoyance, like a small rock in your shoe.

[@Duc2B]

9:18 it’s just voice of customer and answering it the best way

[@JosephERICFisk]

I THOUGHT I made a mistake once, but I was mistaken. ❤

[@MrTrollbaby]

Perfect

[@eric_linden]

The cat decides which milk is good.

[@CoolmoweeMusic]

Ooh I’m like that / let’s listen

[@GB-en7ue]

It took me years to realize that ‘good enough’ works in most situations

[@marguskiis7711]

Interesting, without the Red Pill crap only few people are watching his videos although here he is really good.

[@ChrisZimmerman-gy6lo]

Wow, finally a problem I don't identify with. Good luck, Y'all!

[@grey.fox.]

Can you please do a follow-up video where you can identify some strategies to avoid falling into perfectionism traps? I know it's tough to determine a general cost-benefit analysis, but exposure anxiety is really a real thing I struggle with professionally, it wastes a lot of time, but I don't feel good about turning in something that doesn't feel finished thereby prolonging the time it takes to do things

[@PrimordialOracleOfManyWorlds]

i am a medical system/database software engineer. it was a double whammy to achieve perfection. software programming to indirectly save lives.

[@christopherboswell1661]

“If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly” G. Grant (I think)

[@andrewcliffe4753]

I am old, I switch perfectionism on when driving, it seems to compensate for slight reduction in reaction times in that I have an absolute clean driving record and create no hostility from other drivers. I never tune out and always self criticise. My record is far better than the others around me

[@marktapley7571]

For most of us, driving a vehicle is not something that requires protection just to get to work or the grocery store.

[@timetraveler_0]

"If something is worth doing, it's worth doing badly". In my experience, often perfectionism and procrastination go hand in hand. You gotta break this illusion, there is no such thing as 'perfect'.

[@tobe-you-tube6612]

Perfectionism is the complete opposite of procrastination. In order to reach perfection, you have to work hard, repeatedly, not counting your hours. This is the only way to know everything about a task and to be able to see what's missing in the way you do it. Perfectionism aim perfection. How the hell can you pretend to reach for perfection if you always procrastinate? I don't get what you said?

[@matthewsimich6791]

How does one shrink the surface area if their ego? Thank as always for your content Doctor.

[@pandhunareswara]

what do you think about apple as a company designing and making product at its will, not much basing it at customer feedback just like microsoft did ? its like not letting only the cats who decide which milk is best.

[@echezonaukachukwu]

Do those who know, agree that _pride_ and _ego_ are the exact same word? Like or Dislike - or comment - if you agree or disagree, respectively.

[@darrenschmidt1617]

Does it then follow that shame and ego are also the same?

[@nGuy1901]

Great advice as far as it goes, per usual. However, decoupling your ego from your performance is easier said than done. And learning to "appropriately" value your time and efforts is, fundamentally, just shifting the definition of the problem. To use your example, if I quit caring about hand-written invoices *because I realize they don't matter.* I haven't fixed the ego problem. I've just come up with a definition of value that allows me to be slightly more productive. The fundamental ego problem (caring what other people think of me) still remains. In fact, I'm likely to employ the same strategy as before. Namely, I can look down on anyone who still generates hand-written invoices as a fool who doesn't realize where real customer value comes from. The other extreme is extreme Stoicism: literally care about nothing. Then you can't have your ego hurt either. But if you really don't care, what motivates you to be excellent in some things, for example, in the value you *do* generate for your clients? (Or making the best YT videos on personal relationships?) As with most things in life the answer should be compromise -- and having the wisdom to recognize where the appropriate compromise lies. Compromise between achieving excellence and obsessing about it. Unaddressed in this video is the topic of where do you *appropriately* derive your sense of self worth from. It should not be from your accomplishments (or, at least, not solely from accomplishments) because they are ephemeral.

[@tobe-you-tube6612]

It all depends on money. And you don't talk about it.

[@x_MrYAYA_x]

❤

[@kamelkani4051]

I get an OCD because of perfectionism

[@marinelacojocaru5044]

Do you do podcasts? I'd listen to them.

[@AliHussein30605]

❤❤❤

[@thecurrentmoment]

In my experience,.perfectionism has been attempt to tick off all the inknown boxes that might potentially be used as a condition for success I think comes from school thinking whee you only have one chanve to get evrything right and you're not entirely sure what is on the list of criteria for success are, so you include EVERYTHING you possobly can to cover all your bases. You just don't know what you could fail on. Maybe it's not exactly perfectionism but maybe thoroughness is a better description And it came down to not actually being sure ehat i needed to succeed. Now when i taoe my time tp actually determine my goal and what i REALLY need for it to work, i come up eith a much smaller list of things i should do to make it work. Sort of like a minimum viable product. When i realise the minimum i actually need to succeed and just do that and it works, my life is much simpler and i don't have the anxiety of trying to do EVERYTHING because it 'might' be important, which usually comes up when i am doing something new and there are a number of things to do to avoid failure but I'm not sure how to do them or what's most important. Thank you for listening

[@kristianingier4156]

Do you know why Sebastian Loeb is the best rally driver ever? It’s because he never cut corners.

[@juhel5531]

How to stop perfectionism is easy once you do anything competitive. There is a clear line of when good is enough is good enough and when it's time to scrutinize and take it slow. The better you are at perfectionism when you need it and the better you are at rapid iteration when it is called for, the better you are at competition. The lack of perfectionism would mean no matter how fast you adapt, strategize and use good tactics & creativity, you wouldn't even be able to compete against an opponent that had perfected the basics. Too much perfectionism and you wouldn't be able to adjust to plays, tactics and strategies that are based on taking advantage of common and usual mistakes that YOU make.

[@JSFGuy]

Just watched on tribe of Men.

[@ZachAttack2U]

Any plans to release the your new book on audible?

[@carloh2503]

#1 👋

[@cs8712]

u gotta pay the cost to be the boss

[@DivineLogos]

Perfectionism is the enemy of progress.

[@mickdaggy4091]

Ladies, face-to-face take a long look into the vanity and repeat after me: "I am not as great as I think I am. The universe does not revolve around me. When I am gone, life will go on. No one will remember me." You're welcome.

[@pmaitrasm]

*A perfectionist is one who makes his own life miserable along with the lives of others around him.* This is me paraphrasing a similar statement made by some wise man whose name I fail to recollect.

[@seemoretoys5944]

NOMAD taught me not to be perfect.

[@furtrapper11]

The Fox and the Grapes

[@ryan1usu]

Can you address procrastination? Sometimes it gets so bad it's almost painful to do the simplest tasks.

[@bumpercoach]

but... did your penmanship develope? did you go to an emailed image of the ink/parchment prior? for sure a great example but theres often a nice side gain even in overdoing it

[@perpetualprocrastinator]

I can't relate to Type A personalities at all. They are so alien and foreign to me.