HOW to DETACH. Detachment IS the game changer.

[@gabbyyeargain]

"You need to get as obsessed as you feel about other people about yourself" - This is what I needed to hear.

[@humanyoda]

I question the wisdom of being obsessed.

[@AaronTompkinz]

😂you are so selfish so empty so shallow dieing to self I'd the way to true freedom

[@zoerami365]

I hope your detachment journey is going well!. Remember you are the only being in your universe.

[@raimi8mm]

I like this a lot. But since I already know my deepest parts of me even though I may totally not be aware of certain things, my neurodivergence, will not let me even attempt to think this way.

[@raimi8mm]

​@@humanyodaobsession is an indication of intense and complicated emotions. Same with addiction.... Both concepts have something to do with making something a priority that shouldn't be a priority.

[@marialovell6967]

Never make another person the centre of your world... The ONLY person who should be centre of your world/life is YOU! ❤

[@Coneman3]

Hard for INFJs.

[@electrodynamicorb6548]

Women have no problem with that philosophy.

[@jehuni3364]

My childrens are center of my world right now!

[@justnow4846]

I believe this is so true even in spiritual term. It’s ok to centre around Me Myself and I .. w/out intentionally hurt others.

[@susym9729]

❤this

[@earffquakee_]

thank you scarlett johannson for teaching me about the law of detachment

[@too602]

I agree

[@heathertjaden756]

😂😂

[@mayra.1intllectual4u72]

😂😂

[@TheErikapal20]

😂

[@xmchughs]

This character is amazing 😆😆😆

[@victoria_hypnotherapy]

„Does he like me?“ does it matter??? It will play out as it plays out. - Game changer. Needed to hear this!

[@evareyes2001]

I used to be so self confident. All of the sudden, I feel as if I’ve found myself so dependent on surrounding my happiness around other people. This video really heals my heart

[@PeterCianci]

Great message! Over 20 years ago my very wise, beautiful wife said to me, "just make me feel loved, appreicated and safe" and you will get all you want from a wife. She was so right! I love, work hard and protect her and she inately respect me, which is all a man really wants. To often today there is a struggle for "respect" in a relationship. She told me my job was to love her and respect is an automatic byproduct of that love from a woman. On top of everything else she is so amazing at...honestly 30 years later and I am far less worthy of that woman than I was the first day I met her. Praise God.

[@debbiedeakin7763]

That's beautiful ❤

[@donnaharlow4608]

How wonderful ❤

[@juliusmatuzevicius]

Or do the same thing for your loved one and get dumped by her. Women can be cruel

[@racheloshaksmusic]

You are worthy of her since you were able to give her what she wanted which was love, appreciation and safety

[@PlaywithDaisy]

@@juliusmatuzevicius maybe because you are cruel

[@mousseva]

"We're almost blind to the fact that we are here to live one life and the quality of it needs to be amazing. The man needs to add something to your life. You don't need to struggle like a mule up the hill of life with him on your back, doing nothing. Why? Were you born to carry this man on you at the detriment to you?" 🤣 Cracked me up so hard!

[@i_observe9846]

Same with women

[@heyitsjennifer]

😂😂👌🏽

[@kerrymillar1267]

I revel in being a mule

[@ConradKurtMorgan]

So true where are you from?

[@mrsteff24]

100% Right though

[@laoisemeehan]

I'm embarrassed to say this anxious attachment made me develop serious stalking tendencies, even to guys I barely knew. It brought me nothing but pain in the end, it didn't change a thing.

[@graceomakada5082]

I can relate being too attached to anything takes away your freedom subconsciously while cultivating other destructive tendencies

[@justanotherviewer00]

How did you heal?

[@laoisemeehan]

@@justanotherviewer00 I didn't.. I don't believe we can ever fully heal. Its ongoing, constantly in a flux. It's a relief to know this. It's also a relief when you realise wanting to be healed, rather than accepting where you are, is what is causing inner turmoil and conflict. I am at point a (suffering, grief, anxiety) I desire point b (healing, peace) the desire itself is actually causing more conflict and grief. I sank into point a, and flipped point b the bird.

[@trollzynisaacjohan1793]

@@laoisemeehan you will heal, I no longer carry shame that I was unfortunately sexually assaulted at 7. We can heal with effort. Jameela jamil coined it perfectly in her interview with Russell brand.

[@JudeLawKingKlaus]

Always asking myself, how did I become like this? Have I always been like this?

[@iamcaitlinroseb]

This woman seems to be the only person I can hear for my currently fragile heart. Deep down there’s a huge confidence inside of me, thank you for helping me find it.

[@soulsgold]

Detachment will give your partner the freedom to come closer to you. If you are attached to an image of a person, how you want them to be Then you are trying to control the result, the situation, the person, constantly observing them People feel that They are energetic beings They feel your life and purpose are predicated on their actions and reactions How can they be themselves? (notes for myself)

[@ananichi]

Screenshot this. Thank you.

[@user-yi7td2sq9b]

Great points. And, if I may add, it gives you and them the freedom to recognize "this person isn't for me, and that's ok". Sometimes I personally find myself involved with people I don't really want to be with, but I'm afraid to break it off.

[@agape843]

Insightful!❤

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

But how do we know if out anxious feelings are activated by someone who is manipulative and withholding basic respect? How do we know if it's us, both or just a response to a person who is playing our mind. Confusing bc the advise is often: set boundaries, don't accept breadcrumbs. I recently ecoressed my confusion to a guy who would go quiet for 4 days. I tried to endure but eventually I told him we are not compatible. He was surprises and said he is emotionally unavailable. I still don't know if I ruined it. I don't chase or text nor call. So I control myself but if i really feel low and disrespected I will tell someone if they want me they will stay. I'm sad still but it is what it is. He said it's not sustainable.

[@bbm2116]

​@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 I'd advise that you let them go. If you're strong enough to be broken then you can wait on them. Sad truth, they're just who they are. I personally got anxious due to the inconsistence, lies and manipulatolion. I don't know what took me this long, I'm in the beginning of a break up initiated by him. I hope and pray I don't come back here to write about this in the next 5 years. My mind is done, my heart? Am still talking and begging it to let go because that is what I would like. I don't know how but I know it is what I want now, I really don't care about what will the future be like, I know the future I want is a future with peace, love, trust, respect and transparency. All the best🌺

[@melblack]

Spending more time with yourself helps a lot. I can quickly attach to people but I also quickly dettach. I know I'll be fine without them cuz I've done almost everything on my own. You have to find your own worth and focus on yourself, you should always be your top priority!

[@MichelleFarrismft]

This was such an important point - spending time befriending yourself DOES make a huge difference because you can rely on what YOU think instead of negating it for what other think. Great point Mel!

[@Syncwithnature24]

Exactly 💯 since my childhood i been doing all alone .but some voids made me feel i need anybody i need to rely on them ..yes i did but now i have realized it really very well that i can do better alone i have the power to love myself and not let anyone make me attach to them and then leave me like a dog panting in summers and crying .i know myself ,my priorities , my soul what I need and moreover i am now familiar with my great self ❤

[@bterreqwr]

This is why isolation is crucial, find yourself before finding others. Indeed you wont have to find them after you have found yourself, for your authenticity will be that magnetising.

[@annebowles550]

Its just finding your own worth has been the hardest part for me....

[@superscience4817]

I'm struggling on focusing on myself. I still keep on thinking about her. I know that Focusing on myself and Improving myself would be the Best Investment that i can give o myself but im still struggling to do it. I'm still looking for her. I still want to be updated about her. I do still have feelings and still can't detach.

[@aloramorar1064]

I was feeling so low yesterday because I couldn’t control how I felt about him and why he didn’t choose me. But I came to a realisation to detach. Then this morning, you posted! Universe is divine and that you appeared on my KZbin page.. WOW! Thank you so much Margarita!

[@BB1060b]

This happened EXACTLY in the same way with me! Wow

[@aloramorar1064]

@@BB1060b wow really!!! Collectively trying to detach! Love that for you! 💕

[@steadypace1262]

This was timely for me too, right on time right now.🕊

[@myrthe_vlinder]

same here. this was absolutely not a coincidence haha

[@helensamson1676]

i have been in ur place then i detached completely three weeks before like no contact at all and now am feeling really good trust the process and be disciplined

[@sitarskee3281]

I remember when I first heard this quote "You are not your thoughts", it really changed the way I looked at myself. Detaching myself from my thoughts really helped me improve my confidence and I generally accepted myself more. I always thought of myself like I was a loser, weirdo etc. But those were just thoughts, not reality. Something so simple, yet it changed my life completely.

[@baptizedbyfire13]

"Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions." - Marcus Aurelius

[@thunderpooch]

Uh, you're kinda your thoughts. A better concept is, "You're not the toxic thoughts you were programmed to have as a child." Question your initial reactions. Chances are your lizard brain is kicking in. Children take shortcuts to survive. You formulate emotional responses to get your shit bag parents on board to better respond to you. That's what most people are dealing with.

[@MorningsWithMaria]

same I love that, I want to remember it more often “allow the thoughts to pass like clouds” is another similar favorite that grounds me. Like when I feel super sad, I feel guilty about feeling sad and then I remember those quotes and allow myself to feel sad. and funny enough.. the sadness goes away lol

[@sylviachiamaka9763]

​@Dr. Christopher Johnson hi

[@the_irmacita]

I love this comment so much! Thank You 🙏🏼 😊. Blessings your way ❤

[@DaxCollier]

This video is a great guide for learning to detach healthy. For those on a journey of self discovery, the journey to self love by Cameron J. Clark is a fantastic companion.

[@eatsmartcoaching]

“You don’t need to struggle like a mule up the hill of life with him on your back” 😂so much wisdom ❤❤❤❤❤

[@patriciapage4625]

If anyone cheats you will eventually find out sooner or later without searching the stuff. You'll drive yourself crazy. Self worth in yourself is so important.

[@Cheptabgaa]

This is such a great point ! I've been there and it almost drove me nuts trying to find evidence, which I found 😢. But these days, I don't even care to look through phones or social media ! Detachment has given me such peace of mind !

[@lauralynn1667]

Absolutely!!

[@mmaya772]

So if you just randomly say that you prefer to start using protection (if y’all aren’t)then what if they ask why? Do you just tell them the truth? Just curious when it comes to that.*​@nailahdavis569

[@AutomHatter]

This is basically how I eventually stopped drivigg by myself crazy which a partner who abuses alcohol. I used to search the house up and down much to the detriment of my mental health. Finally one day I decided I was done searching. Because I knew that if they were drinking… it would find me eventually.

[@thevisualboard]

You're so right! My ex left me and I never would have- if he didn't. Thank God, because I walked straight into the love of my life. Detachment means opening your eyes to the reality of the situation, not romanticising the good parts. Detach for yourself and actually visualise your future life; it works.

[@kylieb5246]

This made me cry like the entire video just thinking about how much time I’ve wasted wanting people to like me, when the whole time I just need me to like me. Thank you for all of your videos they are helping me through the tough test period of my life ❤

[@motha_earth1386]

Yes it has been such a time waster but Im so grateful to still be able to learn

[@cloudyy-dl1fb]

I’m already in that situation again, and I realised few days ago that you should love your internal self first than to rush yourself to fit in with some people. But it’s actually those people choice to whether they want your attention or not even though it’s complicated. Especially nothing in this world is perfect. So I decided to accept how it is, having to just start re-focusing on myself again and be more careful with my energy that’s not force

[@emelda-workouts6242]

Detachment-Taking care of yourself without controlling others. This hit home😇👌

[@elliellieelliee]

Going through a hard breakup being dumped as a anxious attached. The quote about not running to bring the chocolate cake is a new mantra of mine.❤

[@gabriellepitts3707]

I started detaching when I learned about simulation theory. I swear, within moments of just stopping the momentum of "control" everything was magnetized toward me! People started to bend over backwards to make me happy because there is something magnetic about someone that is indifferent.

[@ilovepasta4eva932]

what is that theory exactly about?

[@LiketheSunflower]

Can you elaborate on how the theory effected your behavior? Very interestjng

[@jonistrand6702]

Can you tell us more? I am so happy your in a good place and good things are happening to you.

[@gapeach7814]

Isn't it so weird how people want what they can't have. You get more of what you want by acting aloof than you will being anxious & trying to prove your worth.

[@leveweld]

This is a good point. Basically because its all a virtual video game, there is no point in taking everything especially yourself, so seriously. So chill out, be indifferent, but love and trust. This is my struggle. Although I've been aware of this for awhile now, I never applied it to my attachment style. It's so easy to get caught up in this life

[@yasminebelghith6741]

In 23 minutes you've changed me more than my therapist of 4 months. thank you

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

That’s incredible to hear 😍

[@mepersepolis2959]

I'm also seeing a therapist. I have been doing the work myself for two years until I couldn't take it anymore. So I went to a therapist to help me. I told him everything I've been working on and how it bothers me that my trauma has a hand in it. The man just repeated everything I had diagnosed in a firmer tone expecting me to look surprised, and considering that was my first therapy session, I was disappointed honestly. I don't think I want to go back

[@Glitter101]

Very very wise lady she’s amazing it is about owning who you are and working with that. BTW Most therapist are text book they come from an academic background and use their intellect to “listen” and help . If they are inexperienced in real life issues there will be a disconnect between therapist and patient( for want of better word) which will be apparent.

[@mrkeitt]

💯

[@alexawilsonartvideos]

Sounds like mental boundaries, but with yourself. We are not taught boundaries with our own thoughts. Self-integration, self-love is mastery. Thanks for the video. It was interesting!

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Great way to see it

[@Purpleiciousbabe]

Facts!

[@xXSharkAttackxX]

"Mental boundaries, but with youself" very well said

[@richrich2862]

This could be attained with affirmations - every time a self boundary comes up in your head- switch it up with positive affirmations about yourself and about the situation - do this until you have self regulated and entered into the state where an intrusive thought rears its ugly head, your mind instantly and automatically counteracts it without something positive instead. Read The Power of The Subconscious Mind and Psycho-Cybernetics - authors are doctors and it’s live changing how incredibly powerful we are and how to implement that power into our every day lives to change into ideal selves and our ideal reality. Goodluck ❤

[@J4smine3ee]

This is my first video I’m seeing by you. I’m currently pregnant by someone who gave me a sense of security and safety and I felt like it would last forever. After I found out I was pregnant he said he didn’t love me as much anymore and that he didn’t want to be with me. I’ve been hurting so much. Your video really really got through to me and you said everything I NEEDED to hear. It hurts but I want to be happy again and your words have fully made me accept I need to detach. Thank you, you’re truly making an impact. Godbless you and Thank You 🙏!

[@sprinkles8288]

i hope everything works out for you 🩷

[@iflaziart]

I'm so sorry what you've been through... May God give you strength and patience and bring your life new miracles and more self-love...

[@activemindset]

I am so sorry to hear that. I wish you the best in your journey with your baby ❤

[@Renegadespirits]

❤❤❤

[@gigilou]

I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. Sending you so much love and strength ❤❤❤

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.

[@Jennyfenty-n1b]

It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?

[@Jennyfenty-n1b]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@Jennyfenty-n1b]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤

[@joyserwaah]

"if you're sitting there focusing constantly about when he's going to propose, he's not got anything to propose to. because you've become a mirror of his expectation." this is it. this is what changed everything for me. thank you

[@Zelanias]

could you elaborate this? I didnt quite understand and i really wish to understand/grasp this...

[@Laurenrenrenren]

​@@Zelanias Same..I don't really understand

[@luckystone2293]

I also don't understand.

[@izzahz730]

What does that mean

[@adrianoss.bougas3720]

can you explain?

[@devotedtoextraordinary]

“If you’re sitting there focusing constantly about when hew going to propose, he’s not got anything to propose TO, because you’ve become a mirror of his expectation” MINDBLOWING

[@Krystinanc]

The teacher comes when the student is ready! Thank you for this message. Beautiful soul 💫

[@amberwinders6892]

For someone with bpd, "detachment can literally save your life." Is a very real thing.

[@Ann-MarieGibbs]

What's"pbd"?

[@Chrysalis616]

@@Ann-MarieGibbsborderline personality disorder 🙏🏼

[@margaritashamrakov]

Margarita this is beautiful. I agree. I stayed with someone for 9 years and tried to make it work. I am ashamed of how desperate I was . That was not love. I was afraid to be alone

[@zinazoulou3574]

are you still together or did he break up with you?

[@ParisianBreakfast]

​@@zinazoulou3574"That was not love." Sounds like they are not together anymore.

[@habibaelhadidi4702]

Your advice is spot on I've been trying to figure out why I got so attached in the first place and I think I now realize it is me not liking where my life is at now and sort of looking for an escape through someone. The solution is to focus solely on creating a life you like and then everything would fall into place.

[@leidapollak7079]

Best Podcast

[@sassenachdragon]

That is It in a nutshell. I know this is the case for me too. It’s like you think that person being in your life will solve your problems for you and it’s an easier route in your head because it requires no effort to let someone do it for you, but because you can’t control people or force them to do what you want and solve your problems that the real solution is solving your problems for yourself because you are the only person you can affect and truly control. Besides most people don’t like to have someone who is heavily dependent on them.

[@kimadiggs237]

Yes take of “you” first, and everything will fall in place😢😢🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@ladyAiZell]

😊

[@superscience4817]

💯

[@WorldofLos]

I’m a 44 year old male and I amd so thankful for finding this video. I really needed it. I find myself getting attached to things, losing myself, and wondering why I’m never good enough. I’ve missed out on so many relationships and opportunities because I was stuck on one person or job that I was dysfunctionally attached to.

[@Zuuzaankaaa]

But the experiences taught you something, didn’t they?

[@gapeach7814]

Same here. I'm in therapy trying my best to work through it. I hope you consider doing the same.

[@luckystone2293]

Obviously bad experiences can teach you some things, but there should be more to life than constant painful lessons.

[@TheRetroWoman80]

Been there, so unhealthy.

[@Mags765]

Same for me now. Working through all this. Blessings 🙌🏽

[@sasankabordoloi5027]

Detachment and letting go is the key for happiness, learnt it myself the hard way!!

[@filizsayar3583]

Well said❤ "detachment can help you control your reality without letting it control you!"

[@outroseok]

having an anxious attachment style is rough, I just met this man and every day I fear he'll find someone better and block me. I find myself over analyzing everything which I know isn't healthy. After a weekend camping with my family where I spent the majority of it by my phone waiting for a message back (which sometimes took hours) and it put a dent on my entire trip I decided it was time for me to detach.

[@Vladie1987]

I’m actually going through something like this , I think I have expectations about how she should treat me and I and making steps to disregard those thoughts and expectations from her . The truth and fact is that she does care and love me . She send me pictures of her smiling , she tells me when she’s going to head out and fills me in in her day to day and I believe it’s my own thing that I have from my past damages that I have accumulated over the last about 10 years from inconsistent women . And I love this women already and want to better my mental security for her . This video and creator is helping me realize this adjustment of myself that I need to put this in myself

[@Andre-eu5xd]

Hey were you able to work on it?

[@yanacshell]

"There are many ways to take this video", is very true. My fear of detaching is about my job. It's tiring, unorganized and somewhat toxic. I want to leave it, but I'm scared to. I know I will be leaving the job soon though. I have to for my peace of mind.Thank you. This is helping me face my fears. Update: I left. I don't have my dream job just yet, but the new one now is way better, so I'm grateful 😁 while still working towards my goals.

[@healthright3657]

Good for you!

[@jaminicholas4026]

I’m so glad I went thru his phone ! He always said I could and there’s no lock sooo. trust your intuition . Now I’m single and grateful

[@chromewench1595]

Same! I'm happy I did too! I wasn't frantic, I found what I suspected, I was relieved! I moved on happily!

[@januarybaby]

31 years old and because of YOU I'm just now figuring out why I am the way I am. Letting go feels so good. You're amazing keep helping others!

[@Stephaniacat]

same girl, i started working with my self concept but deep down i still needed to hear this from someone. Even though men that i liked approached me, in my early to mid twenties, i just didn't have the confidence and would ended up chasing them and giving desperate vibes. Just like margarita, i had attachment issues and they'd ghosted me or used me. Now that I've been watching her videos i realized what are the things that I was doing right and what are the things that messed up my relationship with those men.

[@corrisauls9453]

"I'm here to bring cheesecake" this is incredibly clear and makes so much sense.

[@NeecieJames]

“Sometimes we are blind to the fact that we’re here to live one life and the quality of it needs to be amazing.” Absolutely! I’m sharing that!

[@RealTalk-mq2ug]

My life moves with grace. I use my intuition wisely. I see connections and the deeper truths. All that I need is within me. I dwell in the state of presence. I am a timeless, eternal being, connected to the wisdom of the Universe. I see challenges in my life with great clarity. I learn from the challenges in my life, they are spiritual lessons. I love and accept myself. I open myself to insights and clarity.

[@motha_earth1386]

Sooo beautiful!

[@dianacolvin4472]

“The way to make a person do good to you is to speak into them as if they are” ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I really wanna hear more about this!!!!!!

[@Raymondgogolf]

Hi Diana tweet t greeI hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you…. T

[@dawnowens1951]

If you feel a disconnect or the energy that your partner is experiencing situations with another person, your intuition is on point. Detachment is not easy! It’s possibly the most difficult emotion to overcome.

[@lididuye]

Oh detachment! How I love it! Went from anxious to detached thanks to a heartbreak I had no control over. Went through self soothing and self affirmation. The spot light is on me now…winter to summer ☀️

[@SanriohasmyHe4rt]

Whenever I get anxious I take a step back and bring full awareness to it, like taking a pause by looking at the " anxious flare up " for what it is and let it pass by giving myself love and compassion. Being an anxious person is like having a little personality disorder that needs to be manager, but the good thing is that you can eventually be a secure person over time

[@MrsMe6339]

It’s always easy to speak on this subject once you have gone through the process of detachment. When your in it … it hits way different . I know my time is coming of not being attached to my person

[@luanasantos6995]

Of course it's not easy, baby. But once you start doing the work to get there, it will get better with time! Trust me. You'll be fine.

[@earth-air-water-fire-aether]

Michelle jones, you're words sing like the pigs oink, and the words bark like the moon. I'm kidding. I thought I comment because I agree, I just wish for people to think independently, not by stupidity, dumb opinion that is formed by well, stupidity. I'm all for the best, and the greatest, growth.

[@kzmademe1099]

Struggling with this same thing Michelle. It sounds so solid and makes perfect sense, but trying to do it is overwhelming

[@abbyphillyhrm]

Same place at the moment 🥺 I really need this to happen, been almost 24hrs no contact from me. I've got this..............................update Still no contact yet, last we spoke was April 10th 2023, I kept texting no replies Today is 25th, I totally stopped....il be back. ........someone should like this inna few weeks as a reminder, I'm presenting the best version of myself.......I've got this May 24th 2023 ....Still Zero Contact. Achieved so much inna space of 2 months almost, now my head is clear. 100% Detached ❤️🌺I love ME. Who's next to like?

[@adepeju4944]

Everyone would go through their own processes but at different speed.

[@WhiteKeyBlackString]

I've always had a very repetitive cycle when it comes to romantic partners; falling for charming people who said words of comfort easily which made me feel safe but their actions would not match what they say. It would be a repetitive cycle of me hanging on to breadcrumbs and people-pleasing in order for them to remain interested in me. I started getting better after several heartbreaks and at one point, I finally started the journey to fall in love with myself in my late 20s. I was really loving myself being single and I had no desire to date at all until this year when I started talking with a guy and the familiar feelings of a crush started to appear because he is very similar to the type I would fall for, except this time, he was less available. All of a sudden the work that I had put into loving myself disappeared and the last few weeks had me constantly being anxious when he wouldn't reply and thoughts of a failed outcome would plague my mind to the point that it disrupted my work. It was only a few days ago that I found your videos and only today that I got caught in another anxious cycle of waiting for him to reply that I decided I have had enough of tiring myself out, losing sleep, losing appetite, losing time and sight of myself, just because of the potential of this connection. Thank you so much for making these videos; now I am on the process of learning to love myself even more and this time, with the added element of being interested in another. This will really help to challenge my own love for myself and how to balance it with my feelings for another, and I will work hard to get to a healthy space for it. Thank you for your videos, really ❤

[@peaceofmindofpeace1650]

So very relatable 😊 ❤ ..

[@ngxoxo]

your story sounds extremely similar to mine! we are never alone 🤍

[@sage2181]

I'm going through this now. It's even harder when the person isn't toxic and is a really great human who does show up for you...they just don't think you are their ultimate person.

[@tsitsih15]

Taking a person off the pedestal and blocking them for good often helps me in this kind of a situation. If it gives you butterflies and anxiety it’s not good for you. Look at it this way ; You have attached yourself to the possible future which you will not get to with someone who’s inconsistent, they don’t value you enough to worry about not disappointing you… are you not better off counting your losses now rather than holding onto the illusion of a bag full of air for months?

[@sage2181]

@@tsitsih15 i agree with fully removing them and access to them such as social media, old photos, etc. Blocking completely removes my anxiety. Now they are not in my realm, we cannot communicate and I am freed up to enjoy my time with people who are not devaluing me. It pains me when any of us choose folks who devalue us. I think most times these situations start off magical so we have no idea a few months in their avoidance and other issues are going to now come to the surface. All of a sudden we are confused and want the magic back. I use block frequently now when I start to feel like someone is keeping me around as a placeholder. I am no placeholder. And often all I am missing is the physical closeness and sex,which can be had by others.

[@user-pk5pl7ox1e]

Great topic! Control is all about FEAR. Fear of unplanned situations and not knowing how 1 will deal with it in the moment

[@Pioramic]

💯

[@sarahchong9616]

When i feel shaken up or stressed out, I come to you and listen to your calming voice.

[@Fight-4-your-food]

My problem is not worrying but that I need to recognize whether I need to leave a relationship. My fear is staying somewhere I am not meant to be.

[@alunalalune8691]

This is so so so timely. Literally the universe had to force me into detachment from someone that I love who was spiraling. No amount of love, intimacy, or soft guidance can save someone committed to dysfunction. I finally accepted that the lesson was not in me proving I could "help" or save this person. But in the fact that I should be ok with help/saving myself- even if it means letting this person go to figure it out. It was really really hard but I appreciate how the universe send me these little nuggets of wisdom like today in your video just to say: You're doing the right thing keep going. So thank you

[@steadypace1262]

Well said and yes we need to save ourselves, if the person you are trying to help is a true narcissist they won't appreciate you trying to help them.🕊

[@alunalalune8691]

@@steadypace1262 exactly and so many of the covert traits are there. Hindsight is always 20/20. Is it just me or is that emotional disorder pretty rampant nowadays

[@steadypace1262]

@@alunalalune8691 We are living in a more narcissistic age that's for sure, the amount of crimes out there now being committed by some adults and even children now is quite disturbing. Without empathy a person's heart can grow cold very quickly.

[@alunalalune8691]

@@steadypace1262 please be safe out there…

[@steadypace1262]

@@alunalalune8691 Thank you and take good care of yourself too.👍🤗

[@TeresaErikssoni-eg2wy]

This video has helped me detach from my husband of 30 years who recently cheated on me. It’s been one year and I listen to your video over and over and it helps me more than therapy. Thank you Margarita🙏❤️

[@Raymondgogolf]

Hi Teresa I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….

[@adapv9584]

I wish you strength, courage, love and healing🙏 live your life as you want, YOU are your true love&soulmate. Nobody else.

[@yowdhann7134]

I'm a man and I can totally relate what you are saying. Mind is your enemy especially if you are delusional. Be thankful for the lessons, I know it's hard to let go but ask yourself if that brings peace in your mind. Be smart in your own body, mind, and life. Use it with care my friends

[@marshellewilson4377]

This video is the best i’ve found so far with detachment. I swear the more i like a person the more anxious attachment i get smh

[@theresamelendez4906]

“If you want to be happy, be IT”. Woah…. I don’t know why… but this statement is powerful. Thank you.

[@Toilettenpapier11]

I have recently started my journey towards detachment because my heart was broken pretty badly and I was trying to find a way out of my attachment towards that person. Unfortunately I started taking steps back into my old habits again, obsessing etc. Then I found your video today and it was a much needed reminder for me to start cultivating myself and stop pouring my energy into that person. Thank you so so much! And to everyone watching, I wish you all the best on your journey - you are enough and don't need to be completed by somebody or something else! :)

[@Cheptabgaa]

Wishing you all the best too ❤ and a peace of mind ! Not being attached is such an empowering feeling !

[@dawnowens1951]

❤

[@chinky_]

Thank you I needed to hear that

[@ninagrace-lee8323]

I needed to see this. My life motto is now “so what?” It used to be “It is what it is.” But now it doesn’t feel as carefree or unbothered enough. “So what?” if I get broken up with? “So what?” if I’m not married yet? It doesn’t matter in the end, it won’t matter 10 years from now. Learning to detach and live graciously

[@olakonwa464]

Love this motto 💪

[@deedee5827]

What a beautiful video! I didn’t quite understand the concept of detachment until I saw your video. I will definitely be practicing the tools you shared towards achieving detachments.

[@Cheptabgaa]

Love this too !!

[@jaybee4288]

Why won’t it matter in the end? Because you have faith there will be something else? Or because you feel apathy for life? Sadly it does matter, at least to me. If you want to have children it matters. If you want to have stability it matters. If you want company in old age it matters.

[@ninagrace-lee8323]

@@jaybee4288 I made an error. I was trying to say if it won’t matter 10 years from now, it’s not going to matter in the end. So it’s not worth worrying about Gotta keep in mind what matters. Everything has to be put into proper perspective

[@wa5561]

The pep talk I needed. No one, except you, was able to help me with my anxious attachment. I feel like I am going through a deep transformation and it was long overdue. My head was torturing me with all this anxiety and nearly ruined my most precious relationship. Detachment felt so unfair. It felt so unfair that after all these years and efforts, my heart and willpower is drained. Despite getting its value and importance, I still don't like it. I am still wounded and I pray that in some time, I can cry happy tears that I am still alive and going stronger than before. Thank you for your videos, I needed them to redirect my head. There's nothing worse than having a great life on the outside with so many things people pray for, while inside my head there is just mental torture, hopelessness, and the wish to die. It feels so fucking unfair to detach from my most beloved wishes for my life because they were the reasons I was motivated to do anything. I cultivated so much talent, discipline and knowledge, but it does not give me any joy without connection.

[@pd4916]

You're not alone

[@equisisters8107]

wow, i feel this so hard. good luck on your journey 🤍

[@AntiFeminist_She_Her_Queen]

Don't give up

[@ammeer9192]

❤

[@monicavelazquez3652]

I also grew up like this. Due to fear and unfair treatments . Reactive, masculine, angry, dependent. Thank you again

[@marshellewilson4377]

What i learned-Operating in a place of desperation is the worst and you’re slower to react it will demonstrate where you are. Nothing in this world is certain but if you allow things/people/world to throw you around and not have an enter Center(God for me) “You will spend the rest of your life always trying to get back on your feet!”Omg, Epic!

[@misshern3696]

I’ve been working on myself and I thought I was strong. I recently spiraled after losing my job and ruined the connection I had because my attachment anxiety was blowing out of proportion. I’m working on balancing myself again and getting back on my feet.

[@teresanoriega4669]

Podcast?! Yes! Self confidence, Self love Self worth And the how to’s More about anxious attachment and how to get out of it. Yay🎉🎉🎉

[@caribgrl1]

You have hit on some valuable stuff. Your 'chocolate cake' to 'cheesecake' analogy was an answer that I have been searching for for a years- that of becoming indispensable. Love it. Keep dropping the gems!

[@colombaishannon5351]

You made me cry. I’ve been struggling for so long and I just do not know what to do listening to you validates that I am not crazy.

[@How.Dare.You.]

Yeah youre good not to worry when youre with the right person who makes you brave to face your fears

[@monse.7067]

The universe truly works in wonders. I am thankful to have come across your video! My anxious attachment has caused nothing but inner turmoil which in turn leaked into external destruction (that I am currently facing). The checking phone thing you mentioned here is truly pointless-you will find what you seek out. Now, I am focusing on self love and being 100% and secure within myself. At the end of the day my thoughts and actions can only be controlled by me. If I know this about myself then it’s foolish to try and control someone else. If they choose to cheat, it’s on them. What isn’t meant for you will exit out your life. I pray everyone heals and at some point reach forgiveness within themselves and others💚

[@Cheptabgaa]

This is 💯 true ! I recently went through a period of intense turmoil after finding out that my partner was intimately speaking to someone else outside our relationship. I obsessed about going thru the phone ans social media As part of my journey and working on myself, I discovered detachment and these days, I could care less about looking at phones or social media.. I have the mantra of what's meant to be found out will be found out [ without me losing my sanity] and what's meant to be will be ! And if someone wants to cheat, that's on them and has nothing to do with my self worth ! I'm still in the process of fully integrating this into my life !

[@KelliHarrah]

Can’t wait for this podcast. I could benefit from hours and hours of “attachment theory”. And you’re so good at talking about it because you’ve lived through it.

[@LunaGatuna888]

Attached to nothing, connected to everything, and so it is. Thank you for sharing. Working on this myself at the moment.

[@romaanaaamir686]

This is absolutely brilliant. As an anxiously preoccupied person. I absolutely needed to hear this.

[@TheMentalManifester]

You are telling the TRUTH. Only people who use detachment in our daily lives can talk about old life scenes without feeling or reliving the pain. Not everyone can. It feels like a movie or halftime tape review! 🏈

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Exactly

[@skylergrey8655]

I've done it. But I have regressed. Trying to get back to that point in my headspace. Struggling to remember the steps I took that got me there.

[@CV99999]

Really good reminder. I was not the perfect partner in the beginning which I used as an excuse to tolerate disrespect and abuse with someone I share a child with. I wanted a happy family so bad I kept myself attached and kept blaming myself for the rupture. He broke up with me and kicked me out. Till this day he believes he’s the sole victim. It now disgusts me as I just wanted a partner who also took accountability for their side of the street. Not an underdeveloped, immature person who mistakes themself for “an alpha.” Without him, I will thrive.

[@freebird5469]

Dropping all expectations about how any other human "should" behave in any given situation has brought me tremendous peace. It leaves me freed up in myself to hear my own inner guide, and experience my true inner calm. From that, I move through my situations and relationships with purpose, not meaningless chaotic drama.

[@LizetteClareDiller]

Thank you OMG these videos saving my life. Literally. ❤

[@JaffaCakes-c7d]

You speak like the big sister that I never had. Thankyou. 😢💜💜

[@BeardsmithBarbershop]

I am pretty sure my sprit guides led me to you because since I have found your videos, I have applied everything and read the books you suggested. In a couple of months, I have shifted significantly and have saved myself and my relationship. Learning about my anxious attachment and why I do what I do has led me to a healing journey I never thought was possible. Thank you for this information. ❤

[@ms.harripersad8227]

What books did you read that helped you ?

[@JMarkYo]

@@ms.harripersad8227 id like to know too!

[@A.S0123]

Stay away from thus spirit guide stuff please. As a fellow human I am telling you it is not what you think. Call out to God. The real God. If possible get a copy of the Holy Quran if you truly want to heal. May God bless you.

[@BeardsmithBarbershop]

@@ms.harripersad8227 Attached, How to be in Adult Relationships, The Tao of Dating, The Four Agreements, and my current read is Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome. Super fascinating book.

[@BeardsmithBarbershop]

@@JMarkYo Attached, How to be in Adult Relationships, The Tao of Dating, The Four Agreements, and my current read is Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome. Super fascinating book.

[@InboxJYP]

The cheesecake moment blew my mind. I am 30+. And my entire life has been mirroring others and bringing them what they want instead of authentically showing up as myself. 🧀

[@valeriecisneros2543]

I loved the cheesecake story too

[@nataliabusko1432]

Same, but I do actually love both chocolate cake and cheesecake and ALSO carrot cake and redvelvet cake😂😂😂

[@Jennijennijenni]

But isn’t it normal to want to give people things they like? Tf is the point of giving other people things I like 😂 I don’t get it.

[@jailene8086]

I could relate to the cheesecake story so much!!! All this time I thought I had to sacrifice my wants and needs. I should just show up as myself!❤

[@msmiami212]

@@Jennijennijenni You simply don’t have everything for everybody, so it’s a metaphor for the unique things you have to offer. When we detach from needing that universal approval, even haters will respect that cheesecake’s cheesecake and it’s loved by many.

[@luannejahanbakhsh6390]

I am 60 and just found you 3 weeks ago. I wished I knew . My life would be so different .❤️

[@ellehinkins623]

You still have time 😉

[@jeffolsson7188]

I have had problems with being too attached my whole life and it can really be something dark and destructive. I was on a date yesterday and just waiting for the text reply the day after is all that I can think about. When I see somone I really like then I don’t want to wait a second. I’ll listen to this video 2-3 times as meditation haha. It won’t solve the way my entire brain works but it will make me feel 20% better today. Thank you for making this video ❤

[@FlowerUruguay]

what I like about having detachment as a goal is that it applies to EVERYTHING. Ive realized I attached my value with my ability to make money or whether I earn money or not at the moment, and now I have the intention to detach that in order to feel valueable regardless of my working situation

[@rachelsobie_22]

My big time slap in the face was when the guy I was madly in love with lied to me. I tried so hard to get him to see where I’m coming from but he just wouldn’t listen. After a heart to heart conversation, I thought he and I were good. Pretty much the next day he had blocked me and shut down all forms of communication with me. I’ve been recently found out he disabled his social media. Talk about a rude wake up call. All this time I had been beating myself up for things turning out the way they did. Now I’m realizing it’s all mindset and God set me free from a broken person.

[@ellehinkins623]

I agree ❤

[@shedagirl1726]

You are so correct, It’s been a process to not personalize what others choose to do, I’m still me and it has nothing to do with me, I’ve learned that I’m enough and if someone else doesn’t see that it’s not for them to see or they Dont have the capacity to. What’s outside of me DOESNT matters more than what is in me!

[@lididuye]

Preach! 👏🏾

[@cinthaa1]

This feels like the greatest therapy lesson we all needed. Thank you so much for making this essential realization so easy to grasp. I will keep watching this video anytime I let a guy or a situation dictate my happiness. ❤

[@davidbrianfaulkner]

Absolutely wonderful perspective! I'm a recovering anxious attachment type and mostly find myself secure in my relationships and dealings, but I stumble from time to time.

[@IanuaDiaboli]

This is so helpful right now. I guess I was "forcing" someone who is not capable of loving me the way I want to be with me. Better sooner than later. Sometimes I get angry, but we can only control ourselves and our reactions. Thank you Margarita.

[@judyroberts4596]

I have such a toxic relationship with someone in my life and I needed this! It’s so hard to let go when you love someone. But when enough is enough I have felt that “STOP” feeling about this person.

[@Raymondgogolf]

Hi I judy my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….

[@somethinggood9267]

​@@Raymondgogolfstop preying on women

[@arnelabih1845]

My dad always said the truth will always come out, that I don't need to be a FBI hehe. 😂 I am glad I am this way I do not lose myself when I am in relationships I am very emotionally independent. I seriously bounce back fast I will cry 48 hrs and pick myself next and block that devil human being from my heart as I love myself way too much. It feels good being confident always been confident.

[@chinky_]

Same

[@cargo4070]

I’m a man in love with an avoidant woman and a few of your videos have really helped me these past few days. You’re radiating a kind of ferocious truth and addressing these topics with a unique clarity and I really appreciate it. Thank you.

[@4LLT0G3TH3R]

How beautiful and amazing, may your love find her way and you find yours, both together and detachedly

[@jas2beinspired146]

I watch this whenever I’m feeling anxious or my thoughts are becoming negative. Thank you, it brings me back to my own self worth 😊

[@imeldahot6653]

This is a great video on why detachment is great, but can you talk about how to actually stop putting someone else in the center of your mind. How do you actually affect your emotions to put yourself first.. I hear a lot about ‘get a hobby, work on your career and ur skills, etc etc if all that is in place already…, but someone is still taking priority in your mind. How do you change your mindset internally to put yourself first…how do you cultivate detachment besides hobbies and career

[@IshiaRayel]

Margarita! I'm still watching the video but I just wanted to let you know that I've learned so much from you and I'm grateful I came across your videos. I love your vibe and aspire to be more like you. Keep inspiring people and keep doing what you're doing xx

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Wow, thank you!

[@melrose1999]

When I tell you that this woman has opened my eyes and came into my life at the most perfect time. As someone that has struggled with anxious attachment in relationships for years on and off and it recently coming back up again in my current relationship, I really needed these videos. I’m currently trying to learn and implement detachment, ways to lessen my anxious attachment and to tune in to my feminine energy. All of this information overload is overwhelming but Margarita does an amazing job in every video to get to the point, not to sugar coat things, and telling me exactly what I’ve been needing to hear to snap myself out of my anxieties and unhealthy habits.

[@Raymondgogolf]

Hi melrose I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful Woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this complement. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….

[@lourdescotero]

I have ton of ideas for the podcast… 1)NO ONE TALKS ABOUT HOW TO HEAL & how to go about it. 2)How to let go of fears in a relationship & not self sabotage 3)How to heal inner child

[@user-kx6tw3fo1e]

Look Up Alan Robarge Attachment Trauma Therapist

[@user-kx6tw3fo1e]

Or If You Prefer The Personal Development School Is Another Place

[@eriktorres8975]

It's hard but I really need to heal from this and just let go. I'm blessed to know that I'm not alone and others had gone thru this and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It's like a dark cloud is following me around and I feel hollow inside.

[@eriklievano]

I spent years practicing anxious attachment style… it ran the love of my life away… I wish I saw this video before she left. Now, I’m mastering the art of detachment… She wasn’t the love that I thought she was in retrospect… ❤

[@teanna4569]

When you put yourself first it’s very easy to detached… I’ve mastered that over the years and you have so much power of yourself and the energy around you because you’re in control of YOU

[@mark6662]

I'm going through a bit of a heartbreak right now and slowly beginning to realise how my anxious attachment issues are affecting my relationships with people. Your videos are really helping me and rewatching them at times when I find myself struggling.

[@beccavry]

This was necessary for me to hear at this specific time in my life. I grip on for dear life to feelings and concepts that I feel are "right" and yet ultimately limits/hurts me in the end. I'm going to work on dethatching from concepts in the way you describe, taking many steps back and observing through a more neutral lens. This was very helpful and perfectly stated, Margarita!

[@LouveniaMusic]

I could listen to you talk all day. Such good advice and reassurance.

[@mattwagnermovies6308]

I’m a 30 year old man who has anxious/preoccupied attachment style. I resonate with everything you said

[@Beloved970]

Could you do a separate video on feminine energy and how to embody it? Love your take on most things. You are so authentic ❤

[@Margarita.Nazarenko]

Yes I can absolutely. I also have a course on it on my website