And don’t forget ladies …. He’s literally just a guy. YOU and your ideas of him made him special. Imagine your confidence if you put that energy into yourself instead. You would not have the time to even think about the guy anymore. If you are not his dream girl, he is simply just wasting your time
@nehabiswas11818 ай бұрын
Needed it
@YanaWanderlust.8 ай бұрын
Thanks for this comment needed this one as well.
@jinhub21758 ай бұрын
This is why I'm depressed cause I see every girl mentioning a guy but here I am obsessed with a girl while being a girl myself and I just feel so odd & lonely it's like I'm alone in this. Idk why I fell for this girl but it's making me depressed cause most girls are straight I think?
@selenarumble74358 ай бұрын
Thanks!
@keylo24738 ай бұрын
Agree❤
@janecatstooth25 күн бұрын
" take away your attention and you take away the power he has" this really flipped a switch in my head
@katerinaa93448 ай бұрын
That part about "obsessing over loser who does not even want you" ... had to rewatch several times as it hits.🙈
@lalhlimpuii1277 ай бұрын
It really hits 😂
@ninabeauty30995 ай бұрын
That part hit me hard
@alexanderkane39603 ай бұрын
Did you know that calling a guy a loser which by the way is just your opinion of what he did to you, is just the same as a guy calling a girl who has cheated on him a cunt? Oh but when guys call girls cunts, that’s like saying Gods name in vain which everyone does! Women aren’t more special than God! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!
@elopez1221Ай бұрын
It hit me hard too. I put so much effort into him.
@chipichipichapachapa733Ай бұрын
timestamp please??
@ZhanePAN7 ай бұрын
I have emotional attachment issues. When I crush on someone, it creates obsession and I start analyzing what I can do to gain their validation. I was never aware of it until my late twenties. But I’m glad that I can start to shift my mindset now. Being obsessed with someone is truly exhausting….
@lucasdesouza96747 ай бұрын
I feel you. It's an awful feeling state, exhausting is a best definition
@ji-ah31866 ай бұрын
Hi! It's called limerence! It's worth looking up
@TiffanyJ896 ай бұрын
Yes, I recently went through this
@Hello_Grace6 ай бұрын
I’m going through it. I had to write everything wrong with him. Argh 😖 it just makes me so angry for becoming attached
@lucasdesouza96746 ай бұрын
@@Hello_Grace not easy but takes work. Deprogram the obsession
@ellehough27468 ай бұрын
"Learn to be bored with people who ghost you" I love this!!!! Thank you dearest Margarita!
@marian44728 ай бұрын
This popped up at the most perfect time... What in the manifestation 😳
@Ahtohallan.8 ай бұрын
TRUEE SAMEE
@SheSoForeign8 ай бұрын
She got our backs girlies :’)
@akeishaharris8 ай бұрын
For me too 🤦🏽♀️
@Lindayxx8 ай бұрын
RIGHT???
@marian44728 ай бұрын
@@Vivian-oq5wz Right?? I feel personally attacked! 😂
@OO-ct4hq8 ай бұрын
Girl you've been posting a lot these days and the only person I'm obsessed with is YOU
@danielleschexnayder56468 ай бұрын
Right!! Thank you for all you do Margarita!!🔥🙌🏼💜😍
@Loveandpeace208 ай бұрын
Real 😂
@simplycloudz6358 ай бұрын
i swear Margarita me too! love u
@velicah98488 ай бұрын
Me too
@faythking61238 ай бұрын
Lol
@maisyax8 ай бұрын
“stop obsessing about a loser who doesn’t even want you” omg you’re right tho… going through a break up rn and this video could not have been more perfect. thank you x
@cyn24453 ай бұрын
Omg...take away your attention and it will take away the power that he has. I'm repeating this to myself a hundred times a day!!!! Best advice ever!!!! Thank you!!
@gretajacobson15234 ай бұрын
it’s so embarrassing to be dumped by someone everyone told me wasn’t good enough for me 😭
@MandyJRoss8 ай бұрын
Focus on you and the focus becomes you.❤
@shinigami79974 ай бұрын
I got used and dumped i forgave the unforgivable and still was dumped . Love yourself ladies no man is worth your self respect
@chyuupipi4 ай бұрын
it's me binge watching these kind of videos after he hasnt chatted to me in like 2 days then suddenly forgetting everything i watched after i get a message from him 😫
@elopez1221Ай бұрын
Girl, I was married 34 years so maybe cell phones were just during our last 20 years. I would send my husband a message that he would reply in person when he got home. Eventually he would just send a thumbs up or nothing at all.
@mariabanholzer79428 ай бұрын
Yes, i gave him my feminine energy, tenderness, love.... , I need to be loved, not an option. Much love from South of France
@lifewithyana29247 ай бұрын
I'm breaking down in tears as I type this. This hit home. I don't know why I always try to stay in control of things and outcomes. I worry and stress more than the person who isn't there anymore itself. It's come to the point where I have to heal this because it's getting way too loud and burdensome. I hate feeling like someone else dictates how I feel internally. It makes me feel safe that I am not alone. At first I could ignore it, but I'm realizing how disgusting it feels to keep this pattern going. I do not wanna live like this anymore.
@showpalm54664 ай бұрын
Truth
@elopez1221Ай бұрын
I have been divorced 3 years already and I always knew he was an awful husband but I still feel like I have not healed from my experience. I can't even talk to friends and family because they don't want to hear about it anymore. They saw things about him that I did not.
@sarahmiller24137 ай бұрын
Girl, I'm gonna watch this video every day until it's over 😂
@GoddessLora8 ай бұрын
18:08 "Because you are lovable... you are." Didn't know these words, could have such an impact on me.❤
@xw64754 ай бұрын
❤❤✌
@kristenthompson39998 ай бұрын
GIRL I genuinely have never commented on a KZbin video in all my 27 years of living but your videos having fucking SAVED me! The way you articulate these points seep right into my soul and make so much sense. The concept of “self love” and “independence” have always sounded nice in theory, but your videos provide step by step actions to make those ideas actually achievable. After watching your videos I feel so confident in myself and motivated to show up for me. Your content is so needed and appreciated, you’ve genuinely changed my life for the better during a difficult period of growth - thank you thank you !!!! PS can’t wait for your book!!
@elopez1221Ай бұрын
I am 58 years old and the concept of "self love" is new to me (maybe 5 years now). Never had heard of this and am still trying to understand it. Back in the day if you "self loved" you were considered conceited/only thinking about yourself before others , etc.
@EnricaM-d2w8 ай бұрын
"He's not Beyoncé"...love it! 🙂
@radia16098 ай бұрын
The timing babyyyy the timingg
@inspired118 ай бұрын
😅 this video really captures my life. I was obsessed with a guy and he would keep leaving me and coming back and I was stuck in horrible cycle of waiting. This time when he came back, I had done enough work on myself to finally have the strength to push him away and feel in control. I've started meeting other men and have strengthened my body, my business and no longer feel the need for the external co-regulation, I used to. Really hope all the women who are going through this become more aware and work towards healthier relationships with themselves first and then take on a partner. Much love to all ❤
@elen69907 ай бұрын
New phase : Obsession with myself. Yes ✨
@caeciliaivana84508 ай бұрын
‘He farts or sneezes affects your emotions’ got me 😂💀 I LOVE YOUR CONTENT ❤
@oceejay51488 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂 fr tho
@marydellgeorge24257 ай бұрын
Too funny I love her
@elopez1221Ай бұрын
so true
@Mother8323Ай бұрын
You spoke to me. Once you started talking about being a child and looking at your parent(s) for emotional support that wasn't there really got me. I feel so defeated right now:(
@htalks7406 ай бұрын
Omg the rat analogy with inconsistent behavior...wow I really felt that 18:50 "your like that rat who keeps pressing the leaver and doesnt know when its going to get a reward, thats how they get rats to keep pressing a leaver in science labs, sometimes it gets a reward and sometimes it doesn't, and the rat is there into the night pressing the lever. If the treat never comes the rat stops pressing it, if the treat always comes the rat isn't obsessed with pressing it, the rat who's obsessed with pressing it, is when the treat comes sometimes and when it doesn't come sometimes and because this person's so inconsistent and shity.. you're there like this (presses leaver action) pressing it - know that they've just set off a reaction in you and your anxious attachment 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 THIS REALLY HIT HOME
@hitankshabudhiraja68168 ай бұрын
THE DIVINE TIMING
@toyinviola8 ай бұрын
The subject of your videos are always so timely!! it’s like you know exactly what we need to hear 😅
@annettemoorshead70198 ай бұрын
I was going to say the exact same thing!
@priyankap2508 ай бұрын
This is gold.
@elizabethredmond-f1k28 күн бұрын
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
@user-ei9qt2tt2d28 күн бұрын
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
@elizabethredmond-f1k28 күн бұрын
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
@user-ei9qt2tt2d28 күн бұрын
I'II quickly search for him online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; his absence is keenly felt.
@elizabethredmond-f1k28 күн бұрын
I promise you will not regret it.
@user-ei9qt2tt2d28 күн бұрын
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
@drishTV8 ай бұрын
Magrita I just want to say just when I prayed to god asking freedom from the pain of anxious attachment and traumas of childhood and even other traumatic memories I came across your videos. You’ve helped me step into a really new energy where I can literally see things falling into place without me pushing or pursuing and this is materially, romantically and spiritually. I just want to say thank you.
@Goddesscheryl7 ай бұрын
How did you achieve that?
@drishTV7 ай бұрын
@@Goddesscheryl I just decided to stop being an anxious vampire and started acting like a secure person. It still feels awkward at times I do retreat to my old self sometimes in harder situations like with my parents but actively telling myself to stop and be calm and ask myself what would a secure Drish do? And I do exactly that. And also I just decided to be different so I am different.
@hdshjs4 ай бұрын
One small disclaimer. Don't learn something only to impress a guy. Learn what you are truly interested in. If it happens to impress him - good. If not - no problem, because you do it for yourself. And never go into the impressing energy. That's golden retriever's energy, not black cat's.
@Tuffolo7 ай бұрын
Just live your best life and do the things that make you happy. Pack your day with those things and talk to friends and new people everyday. Whatever you do, don’t give “that” person “airtime” - the obsession comes from a withdrawal loop. Overwrite that loop and fade it away with new memories in your brain. In a couple of months time, you’ll be over them.
@bartholetbayana91986 ай бұрын
Excellent video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
@paulinebricks34416 ай бұрын
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
@bartholetbayana91986 ай бұрын
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her/him?
@paulinebricks34416 ай бұрын
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex
@bartholetbayana91986 ай бұрын
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
@leonie18976 ай бұрын
I know it hurts. Remind yourself that its only been a month. Give yourself time to accept that it is over. Making someone love you again through witchcraft or whatever, if that even exists, is cruel and egoistic. Its not meant to be and the hurt might feel unbearable but its not. You will get through it and you‘ll realize eventually thats there‘s been a reason. Maybe think about getting help from a therapist rather than a spiritual counselor that says she can get you a loved one back.
@Saar1148 ай бұрын
Typical timing. I need this...obsessing for another avoidant guy
@sarmi00218 ай бұрын
It's AI noticing our algorithm 🌚 they know it all
@SchoolofStuffThatMatters8 ай бұрын
@@sarmi0021I need an AI man then that can anticipate and meet my needs as well as my online content 😂
@YanaWanderlust.8 ай бұрын
Same here
@Saar1148 ай бұрын
He says he absolutely likes me as a person and he says he finds me super attractive but because i live too far away he doesn't want a actual relationship with me. Only sporadicly meeting up to have sex. I can't seem to find someone who is actually into me.
@user-ek7yc9fh7y7 ай бұрын
Yes, so many just want sex and no relationship
@trulybrandise96008 ай бұрын
I do feel like I’m missing out on the love of my life that will give me what I deserve! And yes.. learn to be bored with ppl!! Most interesting advice that I heard today!!❤
@subhalaxmidas6088 ай бұрын
For the love of god I can not tell you how much I needed this video right now like nowww. Never thought I will manifest it so quick.
@beexv88577 ай бұрын
i really needed to hear this, thank you. It's exhausting to keep putting effort into something and worry when the other person has either given up or lessened their interest and effort for you out of the blue. I'm going to take a good step back and focus on myself, I'm so tired of worrying and letting his actions affect me.
@sristisubedi40677 ай бұрын
I was ghosted for the first time ever and though it is confusing, bit hurtful and yes, brings out the anxiety.. i am pleased to report that I can see that it is their inability to see the gem of a person i am. I know what I bring to the table and I didn’t take it personally. 🎉🎉🎉 thank you Margarita..❤
@__.angel1111.__7 ай бұрын
-Lean on your own emotions -Don’t rely upon them for outcomes -Humanize them -Get bored and repelled by people who are unresponsive -Remove them from the pedestal- Become obsessed with yourself. How? Make yourself the superstar. Better yourself in every single way possible. Become obsessed with yourself. 10:05 7:07 18:40 Learn to be bored with people who ghost you. Inconsistent becomes addictive. Don’t be addicted to them and their inconsistency. It’s how people make you hooked on them.
@Hello_Grace6 ай бұрын
This is the one that really got me
@deandreasmith97094 ай бұрын
Listen, I was introduced to your channel by a friend and boy did I need this! Been going through a bad breakup, I started watching your videos and then tried to detach, black cat behavior. I have already seen changes. Whenever I find myself start obsessing again over what he's doing, him not being sorry he hurt me, wanting someone new I start watching another video. I'll get there, thank you!!!!
@A88Oracle7 ай бұрын
Girl, girl, girl this conversation is so very, very important. You described my life exactly and I always thought that I am doing this for my children. So they can have a father daily. Yet I got so physically sick that I almost didn't make it. Great video!
@saradf8 ай бұрын
These games are so repelling to me and it took me a long time healing my fearful disorganised attachment style BUT the last guy fooled me into believing he’s secure, i felt so loved and safe until he ghosted me. It triggered me and now I’m back into this limbo of unhealthy pattern. I broke it off by distancing myself, setting boundaries and going no contact. He’s out. Unfortunately !
@elliea88688 ай бұрын
That's what happened to mine too. Super consistent. Thought he was secure. Then blindsides me with breakup blocks never looks back... i think he is dismissive avoidant now - surely a secure attachment person wouldn't leave you with no closure?
@Tionaintown8768 ай бұрын
I need this freaking video right now
@allybld2228 ай бұрын
Ngl, this was a very much-needed video. Didn't think that it would have this grand effect on me. I've been in a semi-good relationship and have now just truly realized that I'm too anxiously attached. It's time to get my shit together.
@GracialahaightАй бұрын
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
@MaryRosentАй бұрын
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
@GracialahaightАй бұрын
Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?
@MaryRosentАй бұрын
His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.
@GracialahaightАй бұрын
Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.
@LauraAbouzeid8 ай бұрын
Or even being already in a very healthy relationship but being so anxiously attached and making him my world
@louiseparker4588 ай бұрын
Just listened to this before I go to sleep and you’re like that mum or sister everyone wishes they had. Your advice and knowledge is so genuine and heartfelt I really really appreciate you and having found your channel. That last 5 mins made my heart warm 🩷🩷🩷
@cherrylane795 ай бұрын
I'm terrified of being hated/disliked, abandoned, ghosted... Thanks to my parents.
@languageandmana9255Ай бұрын
Omg! This video was life changing. I was suffering and did not know why and the amazing way yiu explained anxious detachment hit so hard and made me realize that I'm anxiously attached because I start to romanticize and fantasize about a guy whok I just meet and have a crush on and my perception of me and who I am is dependent on his perception of me and how he acts towards me sees me! Thank you for this video and I'm going to watch the rest of your videos about healing my anxious attachment.✅✨🙏
@RenisTrisnia8 ай бұрын
This video is all I need in my current situation to give me motivation to move on after my break up
@gaviscon19783 ай бұрын
I get these videos are aimed at the ladies but I’m happy to tap into my feminine energy! I love the delivery of the messages in this, to the point, no BS. Thanks for an ace video.
@lameart20418 ай бұрын
Watching this on repeat! I’m here watching for the second time, each time I’m crying , missing him & sad that the guy that I love wholeheartedly and the one that loved me so so much and put so much efforts to to win me over and make me fall in love with me, left me saying he doesn’t love me anymore. He said he tried to love me again but couldn’t. I begged him so so much, now I regret begging someone who doesn’t actually love me now. It’s sad yet I’m going to face this pain, I’ll cry when I want to, I’ll miss him went I want to and one day I will get through it with no regrets.
@madhuridas47452 ай бұрын
Bless you dear one. Time is the greatest healer...be Good to yourself ❤ Always whatever happens
@NurulHidayati-eu2yd8 ай бұрын
I cry watching this video cause I'm thinking how stupid I am obsessed my ex that ghost me two weeks ago, thank u margarita ❤
@dee80768 ай бұрын
You’re not stupid. We’ve all been there. 😢. Be strong!!
@plantmama74428 ай бұрын
You are NOT stupid my love. Every single one of us has been there. You are not alone in your pain. We’ll get thru it 🙏🏽❤️🌷
@shanimaker62818 ай бұрын
I feel so silly ruminating about this guy I needed this video. It is truly perfect timing for me. I want to move on and feel comfortable in my own skin without anyone’s validation. Thank you so much nice video .❤
@vibe_ville4 ай бұрын
My goodness this is the BEST video I’ve seen on detaching. I literally wrote down pros and cons of the relationship and I’m currently on page 2 of the cons 🙄
@trulybrandise96008 ай бұрын
Omg … I needed this morning!! This resonates and it hits hard. Today is his birthday and I hate when I over please him but I know that I could do the bare minimum and he would still be happy! I just love to make memories with him and I always want to make him feel special but yes you are correct bout I miss the part of me that I gave away! Thank you this is what I needed to start my weekend, my son is getting married and he is having his bday weekend to where we are not spending it together and this where trust comes in, and let me remind you I have caught him 3 times having an emotional affair with other woman and we have been in a sexless relationship for some time now! I have walked away during those times and he can’t seem to let me go and I can see why! So thank for opening my eyes just a little more wider!😢 Have a great beautiful!!
@Milioem7 ай бұрын
I was so much more invested in him that I never left & tried to work through everything. He left me!!!!!!! He had a long list of all the reasons he couldn’t stay with me, of all the reasons I failed. I am nothing without him
@hershadowalchemy8 ай бұрын
You are incredibly wise. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.
@biatchhh474412 күн бұрын
16:23 - 17:00 . GURL. Thanks for bringing me back to my senses
@saramariemutch58188 ай бұрын
Don’t understand how much I needed this thank you ❤ putting my energy into myself not half arsed men ✌🏻
@salmaabdomohamad62407 ай бұрын
you have literally CHANGED my life
@ManuelaAyr8 ай бұрын
This video made me cry a lot, thank you
@jessieward92418 ай бұрын
I have just discovered your channel and am realising how much my anxious attachment has affected my life. I can't thank you enough for these videos. I am going through hell right now over this guy and your videos are helping me hugely right now. Thank you 🙏
@ah37388 ай бұрын
Yes!!! I feel repelled by the lack of communication ❤❤ so well said
@nataliatkachuk24588 ай бұрын
I dont know how to put it...but...this is brilliant video...just hit me and awoke from 4 years sleep...Amazing Margarita, thank you for finding the right words, God bless you and your family!!!
@TheSimplyDone8 ай бұрын
The wisdom never ends!!!
@nontsikelelonoruwanahealth80358 ай бұрын
The timing is insane watching from South Africa 🇿🇦
@ozgebayer66522 ай бұрын
By being busy! with yout life, yourself, your work.
@theliterarytarot8 ай бұрын
Beautiful, insightful message. It took me decades a a lot of hard experiences to recognize this.
@youoob3 күн бұрын
' The whole notion of you stopping obsessing over someone isn't about *you finding someone else or *you deciding that you are worthy.. it's about understanding that due to anxious attachment you have understood that you externalize your relationships, what does that mean? The external forces in the world dictate how you feel ' - thanks for changing the focus of internal dialogue. This is most likely why I continue to ruminate while they are no longer present (!)
@manon42138 ай бұрын
This is incredibly helpful. Currently having a hard time letting him go and it's been a couple of months now... Thank you so much for your videos, they really help
@Dragonfly_magictarot7 ай бұрын
If this video came out on your algorithm, it’s time to listen
@MicheleP-w5y15 күн бұрын
You are a blessing to listen to. Such great advice. In a marriage for 40+ years. Husband left almost 4 years ago. Still married though for financial reasons. I know I have put him on a pedestal all these years. Not anymore and living my life and taking care of me from now on!
@Dogwalkersdailylife3 ай бұрын
I love this video! The rat pressing the lever haha such a truthful comparison. 🤣 Thank you so much! You made me feel so much better ! I always concentrated on myself but somewhere on a way I forgot everything and just concentrated on him. While he thrived I was falling deeper into depression giving him all my nurturing energy and boosting his ego. I am done with that ! Ladies never forget about yourself ! Put yourself on pedestal ! He is not worth it if he doesn’t treat you right! ❤
@sassygal47275 ай бұрын
Yo this blew my ever loving mind....wow this is me to a T. I am just in this. Can't be a coincidence that I stumbled on this. Perfect timing Needed this so bad. I'm going to watch this every morning until it is cemented in my mind. Thank you for this
@SchoolofStuffThatMatters8 ай бұрын
Timely for me too ❤ and now I’m just struck with all us women in here likely obsessed with men that don’t even deserve the pleasure of our company. God help us.
@raquellennan17608 ай бұрын
Great advice. I moved on did all these things but it’s been hard he’s visiting my dreams. Keeps popping up in my life, I have to work harder and study.
@amberwillis86118 ай бұрын
Wow!!!! You are SO on point- speaking to my soul! Damn I wish I had learned this decades ago!!! Please keep making these type of videos! Millions of women need to hear it! ❤❤
@BecominHer8 ай бұрын
Ohhhh my goddddd I literally just thought about this and your video just popped 😭
@bunnyboonot4u7 ай бұрын
That I just came across this can NOT be by accident. I have no words.. Everything makes sense now. Everything. My God, thank you 💔
@WhiteKeyBlackString7 ай бұрын
Last year I came across your anxious attachment video while I had obsessive feelings for someone. In short, the video made me realise my own shortcomings and helped me to find peace by first removing myself from that person just so I can learn to raise my own sense of self love and self worth. That was in November, and since then, I believe I became more confident and self assured. I went on some dates, and while I could feel the similar patterns happening again, somehow, I was also able to be compulsive, especially when they didn't work out. Earlier this month though, I started developing an interest in a junior at uni, and while it did start of with me being quite secure, last week I felt it with all my being that I fell into the anxious attachment style again. So much so that I could feel the desperate energy reeking out from my body, emanating and filling the room and I had to leave so that I don't turn him off. In the beginning honestly I think things were at least developing from just colleagues to become friends but I felt myself wanting to shift gears into something faster and started to imagine so many things about a future instead of focusing on the now. It really caused me to spiral so much but this time, at the very least, I am learning that these decisions and how I'm feeling is my sole responsibility and I can only be in control of myself and have to let go and trust that the situation will work out for the best, whether with him or someone else. As much as I really think we get along, and I like his company, and the way he is treating me; I know I'm the toxic one who still has a lot of issues to heal, so I don't want to get him involved with this as someone that I just got properly introduced to just a little over 3 weeks ago. Thank you so much for this video. This comment is also me just sorting my brains out as I reflect. At the same time, as a researcher, overthinking, ruminating, and analysing is part of my line of work but I am trying my best to detach when it comes to matters of my heart due to my own past. Loved this video, thank you so much ❤️
@WhiteKeyBlackString7 ай бұрын
To add on, he didn't do anything bad at all, and has been treating me very decently. The issue just lies with me and my abandonment wounds so I am working on that 🙏🏻❤️ You were right about how even if someone were to be with a healthy person, the other's anxious attachment can ruin the relationship and I didn't want that with my friendship with him at the very least. Thank you again! ❤️
@myrahtariqkhan8 ай бұрын
I faced a similar kinda situation yesterday in a gathering and you helped me to realize what the problem was . ❤
@Ksenia.Kornienko7 ай бұрын
“You need to learn to get bored by that …” It resonated so strongly❤️ Thank you!
@JaneSmith-j7e8 ай бұрын
The video started well and just got gradually better. I'm so glad that it is about so much more than 'get over a guy.
@rose77774 ай бұрын
He was funny, active, confident, handsome everything…when he knew he had me and my attention, he showed his real colours. I have been abused mentally, emotionally and thnk god it was long distance or i would have been abused physically as well. He humiliated me, cussed me in front of so many ppl. He invaded my privacy and everything i ever respected abt him turned into ashes. Its not abt him going out of my life, its abt loosing me in this relationship
@deandreasmith97094 ай бұрын
Oh yes, for me we lived together. I lost myself in trying to please him and do more for him thinking it would make him love me more and see me as irreplaceable. He was with someone else two weeks after we broke up. I was so attached, I went back and a week after our second break up it was someone new. He humiliated me, sent me pictures and videos of his new relationship and hit upon everything I've ever confided in him about my insecurities. Even after all of that I couldn't understand why I couldn't let go and felt desperate until I found these videos. It's been three days since I fund this channel but I'm hopeful.
@rose77774 ай бұрын
@@deandreasmith9709 oh my god, i went through exact same thing. He threw me out and said i was nothing to him. He literally moved on in 1 day and i fail to understand how can someone move so quickly. It has been almost a month but i still dont feel good in my gut. I want to end this, but i dont know how to mentally and emotionally let go. I really am going to try till i get him out of my system and for good. I wish u all the best. It wasnt your fault bit we need to be careful who we get attached to.
@NosibusisoBianca8 ай бұрын
Thank you Margarita it took me a good two years to detach and if it wasn’t for your videos I guess I’d still be stuck on him
@anestrathdee38943 ай бұрын
This video popped up at the most perfect timing ❤🫶🏻🙏🏻 Thank you so much! I’ve learned soo much about myself that in 41 years of my life I had no idea, why I was acting the way I was acting in all of my relationships 🙌🏻 God Bless you Margarita!!
@numberone224598 ай бұрын
Margarita, you are so wise beyond your years. 👏
@Rachel.Nicole8 ай бұрын
*me tuning into class even though I do not relate to this topic at all because I’ve been watching your content for years*
@sasb36757 ай бұрын
I ruined it with a secure healthy man who really liked me and then I became an anxious mess and he broke it off (dated 2 months) saying he didn’t develop feelings It was going so so so well when I was relaxed, confident and being myself, and then I started ‘engulfing him’ I broke my own heart
@K1111A7 ай бұрын
I hear you, me too. Have you watched her video on black cat golden retriever? You must ❤
@sasb36757 ай бұрын
@@K1111A yeah I have, and that’s how it was initially, I was 100% the black cat and he the retriever and then anxiety flipped the table
@K1111A7 ай бұрын
@@sasb3675same for me, exactly
@thugga.thugga7 ай бұрын
omg did i write this?? i became anxious when he needed more time to himself, which made him feel so guilty for not being able to give me what i needed. when in reality, i need more than i could realistically ever get. he was doing everything he could considering his circumstances and i ruined it. in my defense he said he liked clingy :(
@Hypertoniclemon3 ай бұрын
This is literally me right now! Exactly same time frame too. Thank you for sharing. It gives me some comfort. I hope you are in a much better place now!!
@gabiimar565518 күн бұрын
GIRLLLLLLL...you clocked my tea so bad!! Thank you for this :(
@Juuung98 ай бұрын
It might sounds weird, But it was exactly perfect timing for me this advices. Thank you for great videos 💛
@LeahSterling-zg3is4 ай бұрын
YOU have the best outlook/advice EVER! THANK YOU!
@CrystalGray2 ай бұрын
I’ve listened to a few of your videos now and I’m finding that it helps with my anxious attachment to friendships. Thank you!
@amandamarcellex7 ай бұрын
I never thought about it.. that we miss the energy we gave to them 😮 Thanks for ur words luv from 🇧🇷
@sherry73478 ай бұрын
this was perfect and just what I needed to hear. It keeps coming up to notttt put anyone on the pedestal. Im about to listen again lol
@Goddesscheryl7 ай бұрын
Easier said than done. I would need Margaret to be whispering in my ear the whole time.
@magdalenam92225 ай бұрын
Najlepsza rada ,, zająć się sobą 🤷♀️🤲❤️🍀
@jdub995 ай бұрын
15:30 you have to be authentic in order for someone to be authentic
@Ana-ex3bk6 ай бұрын
When I was obsessing over a guy, a friend of mine gave me a wake-up call with this: "He is for sure the best choice because who doesn't want an emotionally immature, ugly, and bad lover as a boyfriend" xD It took him from the pedestal immediately
@languageandmana9255Ай бұрын
I just realized i have anxious attachment and yes my father's has been so conditional that I had to be the golden child. Thr thing is I always get attached too early and most of them are avoidant. Thank uou for this video