How to Eliminate Workplace Bullying and Incivility | Forence Bigsby | TEDxGreensboro

Workplace bullying is on the rise even though companies are focusing more on inclusive and
empathic cultures. The current trend towards empathic work environments without proper
education and support results in significantly more toxic behavior. As a military spouse of 23 years, Forence Bigsby, MBA, lived on four continents honing diverse cultural awareness. In Japan she represented military spouses, promoted education and cultural awareness as Mrs. Yokota 2010 while being awarded community service awards in 2009 & 2010. Bigsby is a HR career professional winning divisional awards at Intel and currently driving change initiatives at Autodesk. As the founder of NovoNexum and Novontis, she is creating innovative working environments and promoting TDaaS, Talent Development as a Service. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@NatashaRR-Trini]

Informative. Most times when you report bullying to HR, they don't help.

[@karenabrams8986]

It took my wife more than a year to finally fire a bully. It was ridiculous how many chances he was given. His sabotaging behaviors were very hard to hold him accountable for. He was on three PIPs. He’d do just enough to get off and then start bullying team members all over again. After he was fired it was discovered he had himself a secret server he would hide reports on to create chaos. Horrible human being.

[@user-qj3wn8bg9u]

Relatable. I've been relentlessly bullied, and continue to be bullied by my ex-employer. It's so sad.

[@CA2SD]

I had to stop watching because the audio. To everyone going through bullying especially at the workplace or school, stand up; speak up. Tell trustful authorities and loved ones about it. Do not believe it will just go away. Don't allow them to control your behavior and mood. You got this and karma WILL catch up!

[@lisataylor5394]

In my opinion the only way to stop the bullying is to allow recordings because it comes from supervisors and oftentimes from their HR friends who tell them everything.

[@chasinggreatness6390]

Im experiencing bullying. God help me.

[@NeverEclipsed81]

I just experienced it as well. I think we’re turning a corner on our understanding of it. I ended up leaving a job I worked very hard for and cared a lot about. I hope it goes better for you.

[@JimmyJaxJellyStax]

Get out sooner than later, there is no shame in bringing it up to management, human resources, legal resources outside the company. Life is short, there is no shame in living it properly.

[@JulieHwang-mr6vt]

Gotchu! @imjuliemay

[@JulieHwang-mr6vt]

Just protect me from MY bullies 😂

[@allikohcysp]

If you’re going to leave you might as well go down fighting. What have you got to lose?

[@davewadkins4322]

A lot of work has been broadcast on the perpetrators of toxic environments (e.g. Narcissism) . I love how this focuses more on the other side. The impact observed by the victims. Thank you Forence!

[@forenceray333]

Thank you, Dave. Glad it gave you a different perspective.

[@puffpiece1375]

Thank you so much for your Ted talk. I have an abusive work colleague. I can’t prove bullying but I can prove targeted and repeated incivility. Thanks for helping me with my words for my written complaint

[@iamhalfteddybear]

Great talk. Now, if only we had the right leaders in place to embrace these words and implement these strategies. In speaking up recently about being discriminated, harassed, and retaliated against, an employee relations leader told me " If I go back and I find discrimination, then, I'll have to fire people. And I have to think about the risks to the company." I escalated to the chief of hr, and now I'm being terminated as of Jan 2nd. But I am a fighter...so gonna fight as much as I can via the law.

[@philsaspiezone]

A clue is given in the advert for a job at a firm is the mentionining in the advert of 'working under pressure' which is a code for you will be bullied and is a red flag. People have to do this and in the UK people would have to do this in order to avoid benefit sanctions and accusiations of being lazy/workshy. We know that society enjoys labelling people as lazy or workshy. This forces people into positions into having to apply to toxic abusive organisations. Governments and their civil servants (Jobcentres for the UK) enable this by their policy. One can't deny that. Some people have no trustful authorities especially people with certain disabilities/neurodivergences. Sometimes an unsuccessful application is a dodged bullet.

[@iriri71]

I have been there, I have advised the management with the same data and HR, and I have been bullied more😅. Changed simply work and I found a better work environment, luckily. Sorry for my ex colleagues trapped in that enabler environment to handle middle management focused on target and their personal wallet.

[@illuminateyourlife6086]

I love your talk! So raw, so passionate. Thank you for highlighting this important topic!

[@forenceray]

Thank you!

[@marybethjanke2339]

Forence - great Talk. Thank you for having the courage to share your story!

[@forenceray]

Thank you, Mary! I hope my experience helps someone through theirs or even better, keeps someone from experiencing the same thing.

[@allkindsamusicchick]

There's even MORE to this snapshot...in the case of bullying.. In my case...other strings were being pulled as well. Nonetheless....those that participated...are not worth much...in the grand scheme of life. What an ordeal to go through...but I did. Disgraceful!!

[@stephanielacoco]

I spoke up about a sexist colleague, he turned everything around and made himself the victim and me to perpetrator. I got fired and he is still working there. Even though other people also complained about his behavior. I will never report again. Just find a new job and get out of there.

[@kajolsharma8840]

I am so sorry to hear this dear. 2 days ago it happened with me. I lead a team of 8 people and am the POC of 20 people. I have worked in this organisation for over three years and my own co-worker (another TL but not a POC) humiliated me in front of the entire team in a virtual meeting. I reported him and he filled our manager with lies about how I am biased and use my position of power against people. I know I have countless evidences of his sexist tone and messages but it has deeply affected me as he has been verbally abusing me for a year now but this time, he did it in front of everyone.

[@stephanielacoco]

@@kajolsharma8840 I’m sorry your going through it. If you can manage it, leave. Honestly getting out of there has been so good for me. Even if the way of it happening is total bs. I’m so happy to be away from that malignant person. I work a better shift, make better money, and have better benefits. And no one treats me like that.

[@kajolsharma8840]

@@stephanielacoco hey Stephanie, thanks for replying. I have thought about this many times but as of now, my manager who is a woman herself is supporting me and I have all kind of data and evidence against all the lies he spread. I am also up for a promotion in the next two months. Because of these reasons, I don’t want to leave. However, it is very difficult to be around this person and see him spread lies and his propaganda further. I am putting my faith in the system and people who support me, I really hope things get better.

[@stephanielacoco]

@@kajolsharma8840 it sounds like your situation is way different than mine. My supervisor was a man who definitely refused to see my coworker for what he was. The guy even said sexist things in front of him that he tried to gaslight me about. I had no support in the situation. I was going to quit once I found a new job. It was a nightmare situation. It sounds like yours is much different and for that I am happy for you. Good luck and hopefully the promotion takes you farther from his reach.

[@JimmyJaxJellyStax]

No mercy and no shame in excelating these infrations to superioris - the problem is a lack of transparency in reporting these "trouble makers" - when they cause one employee to feel like death, they cause the company to die too. This is life, we live - there's no time for games, there's extreme accountability and standing our part in the tribe. We lose the tribe, we either build a new one or we are done. Most alphas were once lone wolves unsung in their role, finding the true aspirational resonance with those they believe in, something they truly believe in. The suffering is the lack of justice instilled and fractured deep into these comfortable zombie aloof bullies to have a great rock bottom moment of realization about their own life, to finally see the mirror for what it is.

[@tawnytirado143]

I’ve been badly harassed for the last year. My mom died. Then a coworker started to target me and harass. Just got laid off because she was best friends with boss. Karma is a bitc*

[@user-sr5kj6ej9z]

By the way, you are gonna come across at least 1 sociopath/narcissist/psychopath in any corporation you go to. At least 1 out of 100 people are that, so it isn't weird that you'll encounter those.

[@angelahenson3846]

Everyone loses this battle when you Report it to HR. It just makes you sick and full of anxiety.

[@LadyJpraise2024unbound]

Laughable ..file a report with HR😂😂😂

[@travisstreeter5092]

Get the outtta here...your vog. and every buss in America follows the same game plan.

[@davidbayer9714]

I hope everyone with a daughter reads this certain topics arent funny

[@howardmencini3040]

Remove all the pawns of your opponents. You can change the game itself nowadays. More knights, more queens, more rooks, etc.