How to Handle a Chronically Controlling and Critical Wife

[@terryhyde8380]

After the children are born is when the problems start . She knows you are staying for the children and you’re stuck for a while.

[@mikebreeden6071]

Lots of comments here. I think yours is the most spot on.

[@reedjones6405]

"I'm having a conversation with you" is usually either a lecture or an interrogation.

[@cryonsjr]

The dread

[@russellnorton1477]

"She has a valid point" risks turning into "she believes she's entitled to bully me on any points where she thinks she is better than me"

[@CalebBrianBooth]

Agreed, this is really a grey area. It may be an area of weakness for the husband that he is working on but she still just judges and says ‘I don’t see any growth’. Gut check yourself, but if you are willing to try to grow and have been trying, but she might need to help you see it more clearly in a loving way. Not just criticize and judge.

[@rushfan9thcmd]

"Honey, that thing on the door is a doorknob. If you turn it to the left and pull, the door will open and a universe of freedom awaits you. Be sure to pull the door shut after you step into the new universe. Enjoy yourself and your freedom."

[@MrPokemon248]

I've been married for 10 years. Her insecurities and controlling behavior was cute at first. But it gets old real fast. And has never changed, she is 28 and still acts like a high school kid. Meanwhile I grew up and matured, currently 31.. And it's like oh my god are we seriously still fighting and arguing about this rediculous nonsense that upset you when you were 14? Move on with your life. It stops being funny after a while.

[@MikaAltidorMMC]

I totally understand you. Sounds like she learned these behavior patterns from growing up, and highly recommend a great male coach for you to transform your marriage. Blessings to you both

[@PC-uh6hk]

I learned that I never wanted to to be married and never wanted children. 30 years living by myself after divorcing a mean and vindictive and controlling wife, has taught me I didn't enjoy married life and only did so because she lied about the birth control she said she was on and realized she trapped me into marriage just as I was about to leave her and continue my single life.

[@TureRealD]

For all the guys out there who are living this, I lived it too. It was suffocating. My marriage fell apart and ended sadly in divorce. Divorce is never the optimal solution, but sometimes necessary. However, I give you hope! I have found a woman where this is rarely an issue. It takes a lot of work, complete honesty and self-sacrifice, but it's totally worth it! I feel like I have a new lease on life.

[@Good-w3r]

This gives me hope because my biggest fear is that this pattern will continue in other relationships which makes it hard to justify leaving sometimes

[@notjudx]

Why did u marry her from the beginning genuinely asking ?

[@skyblazeeterno]

If it was anything like my marriage I failed to see the red flags and people do change often for the worse​@@notjudx

[@izziebon]

Good advice. I learned after 50 years (!) that her negativity was likely due to (a) feeling insecure with us being in business, something she wasnt used to; and (b) her wanting to achieve ‘perfection’ but only feeling able to complain about the lack instead of seeing how to fix it. Stopping and calmly talking is certainly needed.

[@burdmarketing4415]

This is my life right now…

[@VirginiaThor]

😢me too

[@FTDragneeel001]

Me too and I am always in the dog house on a weekly basis. I can't seem to improve. It's my fault for sure. I react to fast before I think. I hurt her feelings some how when I wasn't trying to. I am being dismissive some how and I am trying to change that. 😑

[@MikaAltidorMMC]

@@FTDragneeel001 Prayers to you and your wife. Definitely seek a great relationship, or male coach for yourself. Doing it alone is not recommended. You guys can definitely turn this around :)

[@editdaddy1]

@@FTDragneeel001 atleast your being self aware, try not to be too down on yourself. I think it’s easy to blame ourselves when the other half isn’t so self aware themselves, and is constantly getting at us for what we do wrong

[@kevingeorge1095]

This technique will work for a few women. But if she doesn't change in 6 months, she is not going to change. You have to recognize at some point that your kindness and patience and love are simply enabling her adolescent behavior. No amount of love and kindness will change a hard heart. The change, if it comes at all, will only happen as a result of dealing with the harsh consequences that she is being protected from having to face. I wish I had realized this many years ago. I invested over 2 decades of hope that she would change and she only got worse. She finally burnt out my love. Being single would likely have been better.

[@billyliar1614]

So true. Women who want to live in disappointment and blame will find a way to be unhappy, and doing stuff for them will perversely make them more likely to attack you.

[@James_Renz]

I broke up with my wife twice because of this and now we are back together. Her gaslighting skills are ridiculous.

[@mikebreeden6071]

Yeah, I used to find it unbelievable that shew would lie like that, but she did it so much that even I caught on eventually.

[@skyblazeeterno]

How to handle a controlling and critical wife? Leave, divorce

[@DannyHernandez-xs1ep]

i wish i had a wife with a calm sense of self respect and worthiness/ nothing that rattles her

[@dieseldan1]

I'm always having to defend myself and prove my love. She never has to do anything but escalate her accusations and her supposed "feeling of being unloved"..

[@OldMrBoston1949]

She bags about my driving and always acts like I am going to get into an accident…. She does not want me to drive. It is embarrassing when she tells friends I am not allowed to drive…. When she is in the car. I feel like my manhood is taken away.

[@DannyHernandez-xs1ep]

hold these woman accountable

[@aquarius_waves3454]

You make good videos.

[@beemrmem3]

At some point, the controlling and nitpicky behavior has to stop, though. Just saying thanks for the advice and moving on isn't the answer at the end. No one wants to live like that.

[@jackofalldave]

He has valid points in his videos. I’m third marriage and we’ve been together over 25 yrs. Peoples upbringing and what we have to do to live in this world create some unbalanced personalities and insecurities. And as the world values go down, women are influenced greatly by it to be only accepting the best a man can give them. Which is perfection and that is unattainable and makes everybody miserable. The Bible gives really good advice for married couples ( a man and a woman). Deep respect and love along with being 2 Good forgivers helps make life much better. A man was to be the head and the wife a good supporter.

[@thetruther954]

Being dismissive, being lazy, is not the kind of chronically controlling and critical wife I need. I need the chronically controlling and critical wife who knows you’re the best thing she has ever found and doesn’t want to lose you. It’s just too bad this is all that she can think of. I hope you learn to realize that before it is too late.

[@petebeauregard3379]

What if you've done all the work on yourself, and she's still doing this.....I'm talking to a divorce lawyer about this

[@elcesar999]

I love you man.

[@chriswalsh6893]

Can you do one where it’s really not the man. I mean, my wife is nuts and she still is right sometimes and it’s very important to not be defensive all the time and listen.But also most times not or the reaction is crazy and lasts forever….

[@craigneff3282]

Your awesome friend

[@drmiles7546]

yep married over 25 years have a great 17 yr old boy but the only reason I stay with her is because of my son and I am a Christian ..........fixable ??? IDK

[@ShawnQuiQui57]

i feel like a slave

[@Hanson032]

Honestly it's also the man's fault for not leaving someone so bad for them earlier in the relationship. Some people here really be saying they've been miserable for 20+ years like lol get some standards bro. I recently entered a relationship with a girl like this and it only took me a couple of months to realize that this is who she was, and to make the conscious decision to leave. It was hard but definitely worth it. Imagine only feeling this way after decades of nothing changing and having kids mixed into the situation as well?

[@MikaAltidorMMC]

I totally agree. The writing is on the wall, and the man should pay attention to the signs early on.

[@ronachadwick7908]

The coercive partner is very manipulative. They can be charming and loving. And if you have children it is more difficult.

[@MikaAltidorMMC]

@@ronachadwick7908I understand , still, the red flags are always there. Sometimes people choose to not see them because the love bombing or the sweet charm. Slowing down and listening in the first 3-6 months of dating reveals the res flags

[@Hanson032]

@@ronachadwick7908 Believe me, I know. I guess I had more of a headstart than others considering I spent my entire childhood watching this dynamic from my parents

[@yellowbearworks2535]

True, except when your wife shows her true oclors only when passed her mid-30s.

[@WaldenLifeInTheWoods]

The issue is MY opinion on whatever stupid thing it is never, ever, gets considered and acted upon. I have agency in my environment too. Why men move into the garage and the shed.

[@palindrome06]

Ah, the big question that has been asked by the philosophers since the age of antiquity

[@agentsamson6051]

Funny you should say about the wife projecting - I could feel the fear rolling off her like fog.

[@williamrice4608]

It tells me you didn't do your due diligence in selecting a wife. Leopards don't change their spots. The red flags are there if you look for them. If you date them long enough they will show them to you. Just tell her "no" to something and see how she acts. If she gets snarky and tight-lipped about it flush her and move on.

[@libo6368]

A lot of work...

[@saltnutzzzz]

DTB

[@BrianCarroll222]

All woman need to be protected and provided for. That’s emotionally, spiritually and physically. This is just the natural design. It is the mans responsibility to lead, protect, and provide. If you are a husband you need to seek what is inward of yourself so you can understand what your wife needs.

[@drmwpn]

You sound like Simp Jesus.😂

[@ashura8161]

​@@drmwpn😂

[@knightFreedom]

Unless your wife is a chronic abuser or has mental and/or emotional health issues. The world is fallen and not all people and situations are redeemable. God bless you if you haven’t had to learn this yet.