How to help boys talk about their emotions | Kwame Osei | TEDxMcMasterU

A talk about the lack of emotional intelligence in boys leading to men who don’t know how to be in a relationship and thus have superficial relationships with everyone around them. Lacking connection to people around you deprives you of having a true human experience. Kwame Osei is a professional host & keynote speaker for seminars, corporate & school events. He was born in Ghana but raised in a Toronto community called Rexdale - known for low-income housing, high drugs, violence and gang rates. His environment created a low-expectations narrative for him. His mindset as a teen was to "expect the worst and hope for the best." This perspective on life led to him getting in trouble with the law. Through sports, he was able to change his mindset and escape the negative narrative. Since then he has earned 2 Degrees. He became a teacher - teaching at the high school level and at a Federal Prison in Ontario. He played professional football in the CFL and has coached at multiple levels, including at Queen's University. He has a passion for EDI and had the opportunity to impact lives as Head of Equity Diversity and Inclusion at Nikki Ray Media. He is an entrepreneur author, Amazing Race Canada cast member and recipient of the Queen's Platinum Jubilee Award. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@nope7560]

I’m Eurasian, and our men are taught to be “macho” and angry. Not in touch with their range of emotions. I had a student who was in sixth grade and would get extremely upset over basically nothing. I talked to him about it once, about his emotions, and it seemed the like first time anyone ever had. He really absorbed what I said, and he actually softened a bit over the years. This was many years ago. He’s a senior in high school now and we’ll occasionally see each other on campus, and he still says I’m one of his favorite people. I’m so glad because I know he felt seen by me and I know I helped him to be more in touch with his emotions. It’s so, so important.

[@brunoguerreiro2116]

Kwame, you are now my role model. This is what a real influencer is. The way you carry yourself, it is elegance and intelligence personified.

[@BonnieShadow33]

It's so refreshing to see a man telling other men to make space for their own & others' feelings. Thank you!! 🎉❤

[@mindfulgratitude3041]

Raising 2 boys...thankyou for these words of wisdom. ❤❤❤

[@jay-mv5nb]

I had to change my mindset in order to change the way I raised my boys. I hope to one ☝🏾 day be on TED talk 😅

[@estherappah9245]

Amazing submission. This is the story of our men in Ghana...potentially leading to Violence against women, increasing divorce rates, and gender quality efforts in Ghana. If our boys can talk about their emotions and we learn how to receive them, we may perhaps go a long way to having emotionally intelligent men.

[@Psych2go]

Glad this video was made !

[@R-Moneyy]

Hey psych2go I am a big supporter of yours and I just want to say thank you, your content has gotten me through so many difficult days 💛

[@Romans15.32]

This was a great talk. I had an angry father. Towards the end of his life he found his way.❤ This talk helped me to understand this important subject more clearly. Thank you.

[@I3imbi]

A sentimental sadness and chills. Thanks you.

[@MrAveryBrown94]

A powerful TedTalk, here! Thank you, Kwame. ✊🏿💛

[@Jabmiayo]

I’m teaching my kids life skills I never knew myself 😊😊😊😊😂❤❤❤❤ Im Haitian 🇭🇹 my family did not teach me life skills how to talk to my siblings .😅

[@tarrell1403]

All i had was me. Just as I have now. He speaks truth.

[@promiseuchechukwu4433]

This is the REAL talk! ❤

[@Lisu_k]

Thankyou Sir, that was totally an helpful one! 🙇

[@Toby57548]

Wonderful job, thanks for sharing Kwame! This was very touching.

[@CamMcGinn1981]

So, by telling his .he was okay, he was teaching his son that the pain he felt was what "okay" feels like....

[@BonnieShadow33]

Right - which was not okay at all, and didn't acknowledge that his son really didn't feel ok inside.

[@twenty4_io]

Great talk 👏

[@katiebounds1216]

Love!!

[@velvettrose2327]

Beautifully well spoken. 🫶🏾👌🏾✨

[@paularespress4769]

🙏🏽Thank you so much, Excellent Real Talk! I thank God for you sharing your story. I’ve shared it to other young men in my family!

[@kitwankit]

Love your speech, it is so important ❤

[@MdNayeemIslam-x6n]

🎉

[@greenjuice3782]

🧠🙌🏻🥇♥️

[@dhruvsharma8287]

greattt

[@RAHMANBANKS]

one of my relatives the rothchilds are speaking on TEDx Talks

[@oneal.e.k.o.]

✨️🌱❤️

[@bennysmiley]

So good! ✨

[@lgeray1]

Thank you! Such an important message.

[@Rudreshsingh-b2x]

Such a useful information

[@AyVaZzZ4o0]

Emotional intelligence does not come from the inner-world that is the thing! Most people do not recognize there is a separation between Internal simulation of your relation and common ground between your friends and their "actual personalities" because there is two friends inside you! There is John that is your best friend inside your head with all the good impressions and memories and the there is John that is a separate individual inside his own body and mind a complete separate being with his own conscience and decisions and logic and emotions. Empathy and Social skills can only get you so far in understanding one another *somewhere in-between Empathy and Emotional intelligence is the sense of Reality itself and Common sense* which makes up most of your decision making and mistakes in life..When your sense of reality is shaken by your inability to grasp others intentions that is what we call in modern times *A FREAK* Society is slowly creating freaks that don't know how to understand each other and slowly they are losing control and connection normal humans would have!

[@BonnieShadow33]

Um, calling people freaks isn't exactly helping your case...

[@KimmyNhuNgoc.]

Yay, i love this vid❤. Emotions lead our behavior

[@BonnieShadow33]

Well, they can if you don't take control. I've been learning in therapy how to notice my feelings, question the thoughts behind them, and then *choose* how I respond. I'm learning how to soothe myself when I'm sad or overwhelmed, how to calm down when I'm angry so I can figure out what emotions are underneath the anger, and wait until I'm calmer before engaging with people. I still have a ways to go; this is hard work. These are skills I was never taught as a child. I've already seen a big difference, though, and my relationships with myself and others have improved so much!

[@KimmyNhuNgoc.]

@BonnieShadow33 thank you for your sharing!

[@RazaulKarim-d5g]

Wonderful speech ❤

[@MrJara2]

What are emotions ?

[@BonnieShadow33]

Physical sensations in response to a situation or a thought. Examples: when people feel angry, they might experience it as "hot under the collar;" when people feel sad, they might experience it as their whole body being heavy; when happy, they might feel like they're walking on air. It's through the physical sensations that we know what emotion(s) we're experiencing.

[@sunilpandey5227]

Attendance if you can understand 👇 2:41

[@EdelweisSusie]

In the UK this will NEVER come to pass.

[@BonnieShadow33]

"Always" and "never" are very rarely true. I have great hope that this will come to pass, in the UK, the Middle East, in Africa, and the world. If we can teach children how to do it, it will keep spreading.

[@22mohmmadarsalanfaiz2]

1st

[@RAHMANBANKS]

you got a pretty mouth what that mouth do kwame

[@sunilpandey5227]

3rd

[@sunilpandey5227]

Not understanding what is he saying 😅

[@dd07871]

You're wasting your time watching this. It is much better to search for "men have feelings too" and learn from the cartoon guy in the white shirt playing guitar in front of the campfire. He changed my life forever.

[@BonnieShadow33]

Whether or not this is helpful to you, from the comments I can see that this is helpful to others.

[@joblac1733]

16mn wasted SMH

[@sunilpandey5227]

Chin tapak dam dam 1:49