How to love yourself (after losing yourself to love)

Rebecca writes, “Hi, my name is Rebecca and I was wondering if you have ever made a video about learning to love oneself after losing oneself. I have been watching your videos and I love them. They have brought me many new techniques on how to get over my insecurities. But I was wondering- how do I learn to love myself again, and how to get to know who I am again after losing myself for so long. I think you are amazing.”
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[@k-jayremoto9369]

This video hit me so hard. I blamed myself for being in a place now where I am lost and i find myself replaying the events of the past. I always hurt myself by always thinking that i could have done better. Thank you for this Susan. Your videos are a blessing to everyone who needs to understand and have no courage to speak. I love you so much. Thank you for this. There are no regrets but only lessons. 😊

[@donnaproto1802]

Love your post to Susan Winter

[@exmrsnowwomanscorned8369]

I can relate❤

[@cuteandfluffypikachu3405]

I’ve lost my self so badly and I’m struggling to find my way home again 💔💔😖😖😖😖

[@RobbinX]

i am going through a breakup and i’m losing all my friends because of it along with me pushing people away because i am hurt. after watching this video i feel confident to let them all go and just live as a new self and spread positivity everywhere. my life is not his life. i’m letting him go. i don’t need a guy who doesn’t care about me.

[@gaynordennehy2538]

You need someone in your life who sees and values your worth . Until then keep working on yourself because the one who is right for you will see the light in you and the love will be unconditional. Xxx

[@ErikaK]

It's about loving ourselves, putting ourselves first, respecting ourselves. Even if we love someone, we need to love ourselves first, not giving up who you are for someone else. Nourish yourself, practice self-love and self-care ♡ sending love

[@SusanWinter]

True, true. Thanks for this Erika.

[@ErikaK]

@@SusanWinter thank you ♡♡♡

[@44Stephieb]

This was right on time! Taking a break from dating and working on developing more self-love

[@mariaresaguerra6748]

Stephanie Bullock so essential... try to watch relationship goals with michael todd of transformation church if your christian.....

[@SusanWinter]

Great idea

[@chadburkle1461]

What’s the link?

[@MS-ns4ki]

I have taken 52 breaks lol 😂 it’s not me

[@marou55ia_]

I can honestly say that you are changing my brain, you make it so easy to learn how to start loving ourself. This made me really emotional and it was so healing. I feel less alone

[@SusanWinter]

This comment is so beautiful. Thank you for your kind words!

[@tarang2458]

The way you're describing the "first time falling in love", so accurate, the heart chakra awakening 💗

[@Victoria-ix4vr]

Susan, you are wonderful! You make us love ourselves, even when we get to a point that we lost it...when a lover...doesn't love you anymore...you must stand up and dust yourself off and start all over again...LOL from Frank Sinatra....

[@frutalmansofia1847]

I really needed to hear this! Thank you Susan! I lost myself after a break-up. I thought I would be moving in with him after school and that we would start a family together. I thought I would work in his home town. Now I don’t know my next step. It’s terrifying in a way. I would love more videos on ”starting over” and ” self worth/ motivation”. Thank you for being here for all of us ♥️♥️🍀 /Sweden

[@viviwildsadventure]

Loving ourselves is soo important! ONLY when we love ourselves we can give to others even more! I totally relate to this - I also believe that the more we love ourselves the better we can love others. Staying true to ourselves and be in integrity with ourselves is super important

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you!!

[@meghanburgess575]

Susan I've watched countless videos of yours that have helped me so much, but the message in this one was by far the most outstanding - it reached straight into my soul. I could've listened to this for an hour - please make an extended version of this, I think all of your subscribers would agree with me here! Thank you for all that you do and your incredible words :)

[@SusanWinter]

Meghan Burgess beautiful commentary- thank you!

[@crisbagley4563]

@@SusanWinter Meghan I Agree. Was in tears on the word 'congratulations'. love you all.

[@mdmmalou]

Loving yourself is allowing yourself to loose yourself. Thats beautifully said Susan. The important thing is, how you can find yourself again. I think it can't be. Because if you've lost yourself, you find someone new in all aspects.

[@MP-fk9em]

The day after my ex moved out I put a sign up in my office that said do something today that your future self will thank you for. From that day on over three and a half years ago everything I have done has been for the betterment of who I am. The woman that I have found has been worth the journey. The Journey of self-discovery is not easy but necessary. We learn the most about ourselves during times of trial and tribulations. Dig deep and don't turn back. You are worth it and you are definitely worth taking the time and becoming the person that you were meant to be. Because we spend the rest of our lives with ourselves it is incredibly important to love and value yourself. There is no end to self improvement and I am thankful for that. I am so proud of who I am today because I know what it took for me to get here♥️⚘🎶🦋💥

[@rebeccajones8628]

It is sad when you let your guard down and then they show their true colors. But, hey, you dust yourself off and find another person who deserves you.

[@miriamrodriguez422]

Thank you for this video! It really clarifies a lot of questions I had about myself. During my recent romance I didnt recognize myself, I loved experiencing myself in love and I often questioned who am I? Who is this person in love? Fast forward to the breakup I turned into another person I didnt recognize and I longed for who I was before and who I was when I was in love. And for a moment I thought I was nuts. My fav part was when you spoke about the secret how this love comes from within because for awhile I thought my ex was responsible for my experience and when he left he took it with him. But I realize now that I still have it, its not lost or gone, and its within me. This makes me hopeful because I know I can and will experience it again 😁

[@honeyqk]

WOW. that’s all I can say. I’m speechless. You’re amazing.

[@SusanWinter]

Massive thanks to you Priscilla

[@akalata07]

Susan, this is PURE GOLD! love you! so thankful my heartbreak has brought me to your videos

[@ernestomunoz5623]

Sorry, I'm doing my best to lay this to rest. I have a hard time sleeping, but I know it's the right thing to do. Appreciate the help and this long chapter that I have created. Wish you well 😊

[@arzosubhan205]

The most important thing in the world is to love yourself....loving urself should be ur priority....the one who is reading this comment ur unique ,special,beautiful, worthy,...love u

[@songsforsale427]

I would have loved a 30 minute video on this

[@alanna4148]

I was just going to comment this!!

[@llzhang8437]

Thank you, Susan. I have been orbiting around my ex-girlfriend for 8 mo, doing what she wants me to do, compromising my own thoughts, values, and hobbies for hers. She is the Person A you talked about before that would only love me if I do the "right" things while she demands unconditional obedience from me. I have been finding excuses for her, "her parents really spoil her" "she has depression and needs a lot of love" "She is only 19 yr" but I find myself exhausted. I should always love myself first!

[@MJ-xe2yr]

Thank you Susan for reminding me that "losing my cool" in love is normal :) I so needed that today. Your wisdom is always appreciated!

[@elenabelacastre7789]

****! ACTUALLY, IN THE PROCESS OF THIS INSANE PHASE...MANY WOMEN SAY, THEY REALLY FIND THEMSELVES AGAIN & REALIZE HOW UNIQUE THEY ARE, REDISCOVER & BRING TO THE SURFACE WHO THEY WERE ALL ALONG & BECOME AN EVEN BETTER VERSION OF THEMSELVES AGAIN!! 🧜‍♀️ 🧚‍♀️💓

[@elenabelacastre7789]

IM DOING GREAT THERES SOMETHINGS HOWEVER THAT ARE COMING FROM HERE & THERE & EVERYWHERE, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF IT!

[@Smokillo]

Elena Belacastre what have you been doing ??

[@zissou666]

What a great video! Thank you so much for this question and this answer! In retrospective I look like an idiot and now I feel like one. And all my friends tell me: you should love yourself and be happy, because he wasn’t right for you! And they are right... but knowing it is something different to really feel it. But now I know how to start and start being generous with my past decisions and myself. Thanks for this change of perspective! Very helpful!

[@chrisdaley5175]

The love I have for someone in the friend zone at best, is mine inside but not in receiving but giving. This person I chose helped me, taught me how to give, to love. I had to offer a very painful apology and she did say thank you. I was terrified of her anger. I freed myself and freed her and have absolutely no idea what will happen next? I have to leave her alone but I did the right thing, an unequivocal peak moment in my 70 years.

[@tnt01]

Wow, amazing. Good for you :)

[@jasonjacob402]

You have explained it very well Susan .. what is "SELF-LOVE", the best LOVE is the first LOVE to accept yourself.... Thank You Susan...

[@victoriakidd6253]

You are such a comfort to me in my current situation! Thank you for being a voice to many of us that need to hear these things from someone! You are clearly very wise, and I think that is so admirable! I can tell you love to help others, and that you are very passionate about it! Thank you for telling it exactly the way it is, and helping people who feel so alone and crazy for feeling the way they do.

[@Amy-lt4gt]

Your channel is a life saver!

[@Sugabullets]

I think for the most part what you say is true, this is mostly because as the world becomes more interconnected we naturally start comparing ourselves more; If it's one thing the lower mind of humans or chimps hate, it is injustice. I can tell you that rejection, suffering and loss is part of life but is something we should not fear. “If you’re really listening, if you’re truly awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold evermore wonders.” ~ Andrew Harvey.

[@FooserX]

This might be one of the most beautiful videos I've ever seen. I was feeling so bad watching video after video of "losing yourself" in a relationship... And this makes me feel normal again. You're amazing.

[@Larissa-of3qt]

You explain so well in short space of time that some people can't explain for hours. Next time i watch your videos, i will have pen and paper ready and take notes since some sentences you make are so valuable and so well put. Love you Sis.

[@iSuretha]

This is exactly what I needed to hear today. You're amazing.

[@pf6405]

Thank you so much, this is powerful. Just what I need.

[@ThatzMzMJ]

One of your best videos Susan. Thank you

[@peterlim5730]

profound, poignant, poetical--Susan takes us to a new world of wonder when we discover our true self. From that sublime moment of self-realisation, we are ready to love ourselves and to give and receive. We become whole and life assumes a new dimension. We will be blessed in every way and every day.

[@fatcatontario]

Wonderful video and great insight. Capacity to be open and able to love should be a reason enough to love yourself. Not many are brave enough to be ever that vulnerable. For me loving myself is walking away from any person who mistreats me or makes me doubt our relationship - it is standing up for myself and being treated with respect always. It is also taking care of my health and investing time in things that develop me mentally and make me happy.

[@choosetruthalways7995]

...to love ourselves is to respect ourselves. Have a clear understanding of what we accept and what we wiil not tolerate. Having our boundaries and standing up for them. ❤️

[@a.b.6726]

Hi Susan. I have been dealing with these emotions for a year. Couldn't understand what happened to me. So glad I came across this one. Was very helpful. So much I can't even measure it. Thank you!

[@juliauren1338]

Love your advice as always much needed today

[@LeeZa1969]

Always been confused with loosing myself. So is it loosing myself is forced to learn more bout yourself? Hardest the for me is being 50 and know better but still got played & stayed to be betrayed over & over. I knew better and saw signs but truly believed we could live and get threw life loving & accepting each others flaws . Basically think I love the man he protrayed to be ( I'm sure he wishes he was the man he protrayed also) I had given him all my love that I realized I had no more to give him or myself and mostly self respect . All friends and acquaintances shaking their heads of why I was there but I stayed to long. Then my adult daughter got in a verbal & abusive relationship. As I read up on it & tried to get her out of that relationship. Then discovered I was in one myself. So really left cuz didn't want her like me. Month later I left and cried 4 months straight. So now still coaching her

[@bjewel3751]

I needed to hear this. Thank you Susan 💖

[@wishesstorms6479]

Thank you, I've spent some time trying to figure this out and wondering where I was going wrong, as if loving yourself is this special club I'm not a part of, now I just try to be kind to myself as if I were my own friend, I try to minimise the trash talk I do in my head to myself ( still working on this) but mostly I think it's our boundaries how we show others how to treat us.

[@joymae]

I lose myself everytime but you help me get back on track

[@fionalovely8208]

Omg Susan, Thank You. I really needed this today. Tears ran down my face as you talked about the experience of love. Thank you.

[@SusanWinter]

Liona Love I’m moved by your comment. Thank you 🙏🏻

[@jacquinewman8125]

What a brilliant way of explaining this. Most people in my circle who say you have to love yourself first before you can love another have absolutely no idea what kind of a process this is and I just get irritated. Though my experiences I slowly learn more and more. I love being in agreement with yourself, I learned something new today, thank you 🙏

[@spockboy]

You are wonderful and your advice is PRECISELY what I need to hear right now. Thank you.

[@paigeallis]

God, you’re brilliant. “This profound thing you think you lost is in your possession” I can’t even begin to tell you how much I have needed to understand that. Thank you!

[@Diabeteslovewithdee]

Susan, You are absolutely amazing! Yes, I need to agree with the choices I made. Thank you for sharing!

[@stormfalcon72]

Learning to be proud of myself for having the courage to take the huge risk of allowing myself to love another. Using the experience to grow and improve so as not to make the same mistakes again. Love your content Susan. Thank you. 🙏

[@jomurray8940]

Best video yet! Make more on self love and acceptance after losing deep attachment love...

[@TheCozyExotical]

Another amazing video Susan ❤️ you never disappoint!

[@srinu687]

Yes...

[@Em82star]

You have given me so much hope. I need this more than ever!

[@sunshinea9779]

Thank you so much!🙏❤️ This was exactly what I needed to hear today! I have blamed myself for that I feel in love and lose myself. I was so in love, and now I'm trying to stop having obsessive thoughts of what I have done wrong. So this was exactly what I needed right now🙏❤️

[@weirdapple_]

Thank you so much for the videos Susan, sitting here crying for weeks and not being able to focus on anything and confused about who I really am, your videos helped ease my anxiety a lot. Thanks again, pls post more videos like this. You’re saving lives.

[@pedrocarvalho4999]

Thank you from this brazilian guy... Who suddenly found himself struggling with the most intense crush (of all women, on my therapist). She acted inadequately, rather unprofessionally, on her attempt of stopping this feeling. Your videos, some teary eyes and my piano are helping...Not with the wound, but with the pain of it all. Thanks a lot, for real.

[@bananabanana1932]

Susan, your words help me to feel self empowered and to learn more about myself, thank you for your videos.

[@whatstastyinbusan7535]

Susan you’re an amazing human being

[@cherylcuttineau7916]

Outstanding question masterfully answered by a master teacher. LOVE this channel!

[@SusanWinter]

Dr.Cheryl Cuttineau thank you!!

[@JohnDoe-gq3tm]

Please do a part 2 to this video! =) I'd be more than happy to watch a thirty minute video on this topic!

[@rebeccaskibicki633]

Hi Susan! I just searched for a video on KZbin on how to love yourself. And this video popped up and the person that wrote to you, her name was Rebecca as well! What a kawinkadink huh? I cried when I heard what you said and it made so much sense. I just subscribed to your channel and look forward to watching more! Thank you!

[@stephanieortiz9570]

Hi Susan I just found your videos and i wish i could find it when i need it, everybody was telling me that i don’t love myself enough after the separation with my husband, but now looking back, I was doing great, it was normal for me to be down and sad, now i’m happy, im going though another heartbreak but this time thanks to you I know that I’m doing the best as I can and as the human that I am

[@MysticLandho]

Brilliant, again, Susan. Your way of firing up the content to follow with a substantive opening statement is most effective. You had me at “Lose yourself”🎯

[@macninja98]

So happy I found this at a good time. Thank you Susan!

[@Linda-kg8iv]

Thank you so much Susan, it helps a lot. I did the first step,loosing myself. Next step should be love myself.

[@user-xy4ff5yp7b]

Susan, thanks for this beautiful and wise pep talk ❤️

[@raiyan06]

This is amazing. Thank you.

[@faviolafikir2181]

This is sooo therapeutic 💙💙💙

[@frankieann1686]

Love you Susan you speak so much sense Xx

[@johngreen1776]

You have such a beautiful soul, thank you for being real in this world of “The Grand Illusion”.

[@SusanWinter]

Lawren Green 😊😊😊

[@amethystthescientist7716]

This video is so good and you are so funny and authentic. Loving you while you teach us self love!!!

[@amjadbashir4969]

Thanks a lot Susan, honestly! 😊 🙏

[@deepalig3938]

Thanks Susan for this video ..u r lovely . I get answers for every situation ..love u

[@nessa8259]

You are wonderful. Your videos uplift me!

[@mariamaxim]

Such a wonderful video! 🧡

[@francescaromanagarroni6524]

Thank you Susan, just wonderful 💗

[@michelleallen5914]

You are amazing!

[@EvelynKache]

This is beautiful 🌼

[@trannyglitter12]

you are amazing! thank you

[@tpasi2020UG]

Amazing!

[@ramirenriquez6795]

It's comforting to know that coming from a professional, that we all get lost and feel insecure when it comes to experiencing extreme life experiences like falling in love.

[@nikiniki7200]

Thank you Susan

[@Karina_Engr]

You're right! I'm the magic. I saw a glimpse of his life after the breakup and all the light was gone from his place. It was so sad and depressing to see. I can't imagine being in a situation where someone doesn't appreciate me and my light ever again. This isn't a build-a-man workshop. I'm the magic!

[@nataliemarie4325]

Profound message.. everything you say resonates with me so perfectly. Thank you for truth and light. God bless.

[@patriciasmiderle9181]

You are the best!

[@caro83211]

Thank you so much you are really helping me.

[@marienmocka8397]

Merry Christmas dear Susan!

[@SusanWinter]

Same to you!

[@slimilacraft7676]

I’m starting to believe that we love ourselves and don’t know it and we unconsciously give it away.

[@richardeliasjames5190]

Amazing sister Susan and God bless you alwasy❤

[@SusanWinter]

Richardelias Richie thank you

[@btfields323]

Winter so Wise!

[@saramotalebi24]

Thank u Susan..

[@itintern1081]

I keep rewatching your videos.. :)

[@muckyguru]

Hey Susan x you are awesome bless you

[@indigoblue4791]

Contrarian- you made up your own word there!! Very clever!!😊🌿🏵

[@LolaSammie]

Thank you needed this walked away from someone I love because it’s was making my mental health bad was a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I know I made the right decision but atm I am so hurt xx

[@GoldbergandPartners]

Great and real thankyou

[@dusenstrahlverfahren]

I'm a very rational person (I have a PhD in engineering) but I lost my head after having met this fantastic woman. The initial stages of love are overwhelming. You're great Susan, thanks for your videos.

[@norswil8763]

Don’t lose yourself! Do not underestimate the damage leaning into your loved one can lead to. I lost myself and it suffocated my soul mate and she lost attraction, I lost the one I love because I didn’t love myself as much or more. I had no idea until it was all over, just a warning for the wise - she doesn’t want you to lose your head, she wants you to keep building yourself and to focus on yourself.

[@bassoonmusic601]

This video is so good. The first step I learned in loving myself again was to be compassionate with myself. Your comments on decision making were spot on here. Whenever I find myself in a thought pattern of beating myself up for not seeing things or making certain choices, I go back to compassion. You said it perfectly: we make decisions based on information we have at the time. Perspective and compassion are two things that have really helped me to come to place of loving myself again and also rediscovering who I am at my core. This has also helped me understand why things may not have worked in my relationship and has revealed some truths that I chose not to see in the moment. This whole experience, even though it is painful at times, has taught me valuable lessons about myself that I can take into my next experience. I feel like I still have work to do, but I am open to the idea of a new experience with someone. This is a far different place from where I was a few months ago. Giving yourself time to heal and learn the lessons you need to learn is so important. So glad I found your channel. Thank you! 🥰❤❤❤

[@MS-ns4ki]

My thoughts are pretty accurate 😂 I tell people how I see it

[@TheSantja]

Thanks for this

[@tfb6504]

THANK YOU for this! Of the 31,000 verses, I have tended to prioritize and ruminate over what it means to “love one another” over many decades. I believe it’s more than dropping off a casserole, although that can be a nice thing to do. At this point, I think it means properly configuring one’s light every day with the intention of finding joy, humor gratitude and love ... so that I can better love my fellow humans. Nonetheless, I felt like my heart chakra hemmorraged last summer and I was in this euphoric bubble of love. I became a crazy person, something out of a sit-com, pursuing my beloved. It was really unsettling being on an emotional trapeze over which I seemed to have little control. Eventually, I began to speculate and brainstorm flaws and reasons it might not work, just to tether myself. I can’t say it eased the unrequited crash landing, but I’ve had a little uneasiness about trusting myself since this happened, so I’ve been researching it to death: adolescent love milestones, limerence, the biochemical and neurological aspect, as well as Helen Fisher’s work. I wouldn’t say that I lost myself, but those who were privy to this goaded me on only to later tell me how co-dependent I was and how much of my power I gave away (assholes). Anyway, studying up on this surreal phenomena has helped, but now I’m a little concerned about our entire species having this vulnerability. 😉. I’ve also pinned myself to a dissecting board questioning what projection or transference issues may indicate about me. (Eye roll), it’s all so speculative, but it did cause me to make some major life direction changes. I just am baffled that it happened at “this age.” (And no, I’m not going to disclose that number on KZbin.)

[@mcal3602]

Rebecca, you're not alone girl. There's always someone going through it. We all go through it especially women. We just go through it at different times. I seem to lose my boundaries in love then feel that I don't receive as much love as I give. I end up feeling empty and in love