How to make friends as an adult (even for introverts) | 7 tips to make high quality friendships

[@annaspeaks373]

That was a period in my life I was too focused on making friends then I just forgot about that and making friends started to be piece of cake❤️

[@jessssalemme]

Love that! It’s definitely not something you should over think, but I do think intentionally meeting people that turn into friends as an adult can be challenging

[@Rosie-v6l]

So easy why I don't have feiends

[@Rosie-v6l]

Would be my friend really need one or more

[@Rosie-v6l]

My name rosue would you be friebd really like a friend loke ypu

[@Rosie-v6l]

Please be rosie friend that my name loyal dan

[@Pearlwhitebeauty]

i been living a alone lonely depressed life from last 5 yrs i dont have anyone to talk from last these yrs my school friends we lost contact a while ago i struggled a lot stayed at home never out but this year i decided to give up on this habit beat my fears try new things new hobbies & some friends to spend lil time with 🎀wish me luck i will find the best people soon

[@5432-j1c]

I wish you luck 😊

[@calmpupper]

All the best!! Don't worry, just go out there and have fun >:33 U ARE AMAZING!

[@ashakora]

Wishing you luck❤❤

[@Austination316]

So what happened?

[@ferdzforio7715]

Any update

[@macho.nacho.01]

"Find a way to join different groups of people that already exist in hobbies or interests that you already have"... Unfortunately unless you live in a city, that doesn't work. There are no groups of people that do anything in smaller towns aside from hunters that do group hunts, alcoholics that get drunk at the pub habitually, or families doing family activities 😭 I googled things to do in the town I live and what came up was berry picking, a café, and a cardboard box "boat" race 😂

[@tessaL7989]

Agreed. I moved from a big city and the groups and hobbies in my area are things that I have zero interest in… I think her advise is very basic. If it was that easy, then there would be no need for this post Not everyone is a basic yoga chick

[@vester7457]

Funny!!

[@spookreap]

I’ve been in recovery for more than 10 years and I’m having great difficulty meeting new people since most in my area frequent bars.

[@macho.nacho.01]

@@spookreap same boat :( I met my friends at the supermarket 🤣

[@cmartin1170]

Yeah. And it always ends up with eating and drinking alcohol.

[@Lightcode]

I'm introverted and I know quite a few other introverts. One of the challenges I am constantly faced with is kind of being in between in age. Living in a retirement community and I'm too young for it, yet I'm too old to be hanging out with people in their 30s and 40s. I just want to connect and have great conversation. I keep trying, but I do find that many people are either too busy with their kids and family or job and just don't want to be bothered. And that apathy of people wanting to have friends yet not going out of their house to create that space - is something that many of us are struggling with.

[@isagoldfield7393]

🤍

[@the_moni_shill]

As an adult I know how hard it is to make new friends .😊

[@vester7457]

This young lady here is underestimating the problem. She's simplistic

[@ingegaasbeek296]

Hammer and nail....😢​@@vester7457

[@anonisnoone6125]

I'm at uni now and I don't know anyone. It's been almost a week already and seeing everyone around me already being friends with each other just makes me depressed.

[@GameMaxxin2080]

Man have it harder in socializing in general 😢

[@DAClub-uf3br]

I would not ask someone to invite me to a party. If they didn't already invite me there is a reason even if its because of a space limitation.

[@erikaa.3030]

Great practical advice, I love how you mentioned to agree to participate when people invite you out! It’s important to show up for people and show ourselves friendly if we’d like to have friends! God bless y’all! ❤️🙏✝️

[@jessssalemme]

Thank you!

[@imme791]

As a young adult who graduated recently, I discovered how my friendships were superficial !! searching up this topic and taking notes on how to actually interact with others made me feel some how lonely, but I'm grateful for the tips you're putting out here, thanks !

[@jessssalemme]

I’m so glad you found them helpful!! Friendships post-graduation are so hard. I learned a handful of mine from college were superficial as well and it wasn’t for me. It takes time to start over with building friendships but it’s worth it when you find a really solid group! 💗

[@HealthylivingwithKanikaA]

I don’t go out really besides work and I really don’t feel like I vibe well with any of my coworkers. I relocated 2 years ago and just don’t know where to start

[@mariaescamilla91]

Great video! I’m guilty of wanting high quality friendships but I don’t go out to make any friends! I get scared of awkward silences bc I’m very quiet! I need to follow your tip and have some questions ready! Lol

[@jessssalemme]

I agree, I hate awkward silences. I know coming “prepared” with questions might feel weird or like you’re interviewing them but I feel like it gives me a little security blanket to avoid those lulls and awkward silences!

[@UnknownUnknown-xf6lo]

This video is very misandrist.

[@amele820]

I live in Portland and I really hate culture here, everyone is so flakey and only want to go out for drinks. For years I’ve put so much energy in the relationships that weren’t reciprocating at all. I always was one to reach out, to make plans, to invite people for dinner or to offer them something. Then I felt drained of energy and when I stopped reaching out first, I realized I didn’t have real friendships here, I realized that all the effort to connect was always coming from me and when I stopped doing it, I just didn’t have any friends anymore because people wouldn’t reach out and plan. I hate how everyone is always talking about needing community and yet not willing to put any effort in to it.

[@sahilkumawat1556]

Ok than just come to India you will be amazed and you can be my friend

[@vester7457]

@@amele820 if you have to make a huge effort. Something's wrong. I lost the best friend to death Dec 2023. We met at the library and became each other's best friend for 20 years. We were like family to each other. I can't go out and try to make that happen again. Have adapted to being alone.

[@AprilDelRosario]

I think it’s easy to make friends… hard to keep them. For me, at least.

[@jessssalemme]

True! I also think it’s easier to make new friends rather than true, deep, genuine connections. That’s where I’ve struggled a bit!

[@ryanhartsfield7836]

Completely agree. Last 3 people I thought I had a good thing with. One after a week wanted bail money. Another after a week of very good fun conversation somehow found where I live a threatened to slit her wrists (on my front porch) with a utility knife unless I gave her a place to stay and alot of money. Had to call the police ( she was having a breakdown) the next we talked almost 4 hours everyday. He was very turbulent. Knew him for 2 years. Kept saying I love you, I hate you, lose my #, why don't you talk to me any more, when we get married, he was all over the road so I said goodbye.

[@ferdzforio7715]

I can relate

[@hopesonhigh]

My closest friends are introverts!! I am an ambivert and it took me a while to understand a real introvert, but I learned to value a lot their friendship as it is so sincere, deep, genuine...

[@luckypunch89]

Well done. I found myself alone at 31 in a big capital, it is definately cool to be able to survive on your own, but you gotta have some quality friends! Hope to use some of those tips.

[@RicardoSantos-oz3uj]

A friend is someone that is willing to spend time with you without being paid. And you are willing to spend time with them without being paid. Keyword WILLING. Situational friendships (where people have no option but to spend time with you) is not a true friendship. However situational friendships may lead to true friendships (as willing to spend time with someone usually means that you like how a person acts)

[@nayakiabates8814]

Great tips, I’m definitely an introvert but I’m in a stage in my life where my children are grown and I have a lot of time on my hands and stared feeling lonely. I love the Facebook group idea. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and ideas with us 💕💕

[@shelbieofcourse]

Group workouts are such a great idea! I made some great friends at the gym going to the same classes over and over 🥰 love the vid! Love that you moved here. Love that we’re closer😘😘 feel like I’ve known you my whole life💕

[@jessssalemme]

Love that I have you as a bestie now! 💕

[@shelbieofcourse]

@@jessssalemme lol I love how your go to was fantasy junkies 😂

[@jessssalemme]

😂😂😂

[@Amal-eh4jf]

As an introvert, I will never ask people to invite me on to hang out with them.

[@melliex5921]

I’ve lived in Las Vegas for 20 years now and always found it difficult to make friends here. You just inspired me to try again. Thanks so much for the helpful tips.

[@jessssalemme]

I have recently found some new groups here like a girls hiking club if you’re into that. I think they are “vibegirlshikeclub” on Instagram 🤍

[@AndrianaLis]

these are all such great tips! definitely will be using these when I move to a new state in a few months

[@jessssalemme]

Oh good I’m so glad you found them helpful! Best of luck on your move!

[@juliewyatt1694]

Great job!! I’m older however I think they were many great suggestions no matter the age!💞💞

[@jessssalemme]

I’m glad you found it valuable! 💗

[@Rosie-v6l]

Huge fan be my friend

[@Rosie-v6l]

I want a friend like ypu pkeasr ve my friend so afraid

[@Rosie-v6l]

Replue read replied need a friend like ypu veg you be my freibd

[@mkreed89]

Love these tips! I'm bad with convo luls but questions fill the space! Also going to a networking event this week which is great practice for being outgoing!

[@jessssalemme]

That is good practice! I also feel like at events where you truly know nobody, it’s almost easier to be extra outgoing and do more

[@mkreed89]

@@jessssalemme you say that, but it's built within me to be afraid of strangers apparently lol

[@jessssalemme]

@@mkreed89 haha. Just remember you probably won’t ever meet most of the people ever again!

[@JoseSanchez-fp3mp]

Hi, very useful video yes is so hard to make some friends they say having friends is important too because your friends can help you and support you they are always with you in good and bad situations they are like your second family thank you so much for this one I enjoyed it so much have a nice day.

[@jessssalemme]

Friends are so important! Glad you found it useful!

[@Kagumi-]

I recently find this video out I do have friends but im neurodivergent and I don't have social skills or nice humor at all but people love how I look like that's why for me it's easy to make friends back when I was friendless I only make online friendship and it isin't that bad I gain social skills from my one online friend I watch the whole vid to learn some social skills

[@DianaHernandez-fe9io]

I am 35 and is super difficult to me because people are so focused on their spouses, and babies etc. I feel so happy when a old friend from my 20s called me to go out and meet her, I am so confused because she is so different now-

[@AmandaAlexander-d6h]

Meeting them is great and just out of curiosity as an introvert how do you keep the friendships going? 😢

[@jessssalemme]

It’s definitely a 2 way street. You need to find people that are also interested in getting to know you too. You have to continue to ask them to hang out over time, it just takes time. I’ve been in my new city for just over a year and I feel I finally have one, maybe 2 good friends.

[@RadiogenMedia]

Yea i tried the advice in this video and I got rejected , ghosted, and even bullied so id say that the whole idea of being happy and making friends/relationships is unobtainable for me at this point. Not to mention my town is dead when it comes to social interaction and people tend to have closed friendships that dont allow wiggle room or new faces:/ for example you want to play dnd and you search for local events or groups in the area for mtg or dnd and you get zero results not only that if you seek people and the conversation is going great and they ask you what you do for fun you better say stay home and do nothing because if they notice that you’re a genuine person they act like you’re trying compete for social dominance or something idk every time I’ve been myself I’ve always ended up alone. I’m certain that someone who will read this and say “boo hoo nobody likes sadness and depression “ if you are reading and think that that toxic mindset is contributing to the self ending of lives of those who are alone

[@Stirling-Shade]

I'm absolutely failing friendships too. I hate how people are always forcing this toxic positivity. Complaining I've never seen as mood killing. It's just another way of expressing ourselves and we're supposed to not use it? These people that push this ideology turn out to be incredibly shallow people too. All they do is think for themselves and laugh at others suffering. Not a ounce of empathy. It disgusts me. Wanna be friends? Online friends of course. I have socialization issues but I'll do my best! We can practice off each other too. Become the best version of ourselves we could possibly be. :3

[@dangahlinger62]

As a woman it's really easy to make friends, as a guy not so much or nearly impossible. The other major factor is that it depends on the city, some cities are for all purposes totally impossible for guys to make friends, very 'cold' cities

[@CaddeCali-ie5pz]

You said that you will be 30yrs but you looks 18yrs old anyway those 7tips are touchable and get it thank you so match>3😍

[@jessssalemme]

Thank you 🥹 I’m 31 now! Crazy!

[@CaddeCali-ie5pz]

@jessssalemme I can't believed but I'm also 20yrs you're not older that match😬

[@borntobemagicall]

Love this video and would love part 2 if you have more to share!

[@jessssalemme]

Thank you! I’ll definitely think about a part 2!

[@chrisyvr24]

Yes, please!

[@Randomizer95]

I've just come out of a 15 year abusive relationship where I was completely controlled. I'm 49 male and now in a strange city where I don't know anyone and has lots of problems even being able to communicate. I have NO friends NONE, NOT ONE.. Joined a make a friend website that no one uses.. I'm sorry but All these tips are useless to most people.. How to make friends.... Go out and make friends! and then hang out. Wow great advise!

[@Stirling-Shade]

Ye wanna be online friends and practice communication with each other? My social skills are down the drain too thanks to my parents neglect. I'd be interested in hearing more about your life story too if you wish to speak on the topic. I understand it may be a sensitive topic.

[@MericaF1rst]

Alot of the suggestions that you have assume that everyone lives in bigger cities. Towns with populations under 10,000 do not have all of these social options available. I have to travel 60 miles to buy a pair of shoes that don't come from Wal-Mart for example. Yoga is a foreign word. Tractors and four wheelers are common forms of transportation.

[@LindaChapman-u2c]

I would rather be dead than be forced to move to Las Vegas to make friends. Best wishes on your path. Thx for reaching out to others.😊

[@AmandaAlexander-d6h]

Its been extremely hard asking anybody out i just need to move already and make new friends... bc I've tried all these things and nothing sticks

[@jessssalemme]

Can I ask where you live? I do think sometimes location can play a factor

[@AmandaAlexander-d6h]

@jessssalemme I live in Maryland. Funny enough google says it's the friendliest state 😄

[@jessssalemme]

😅 well I think it just takes consistency and putting yourself out there. You got this 💕

[@ChrisSalemme]

Those are some great tips at the end of the video 😎

[@jessssalemme]

Haha the best ones 😉

[@doyle5883]

Who’s the friend in Scottsdale lol. My daughter just out of college moved across country to Gilbert area. Her cash is tight between 1700 rent / car payment…she has a doodle! Which makes hard for going out because her puppy is alone all day:(

[@montiesz]

If you are a culturally and dispositionally normative person, then yes it is probably “easy” to make friends. There are a lot of people for whom most of their interests and exposures to things in the world (e.g., for a typical guy being really into sports or watching certain tv shows every night) are very similar to many other people’s. So if you’re like that, you can literally go anywhere and chat someone up and there’s a good probability they’re really similar to you and you can hit it off. For people outside of that range though, it’s much harder to find those people

[@kalifa______]

So helpful! Ur amazing❤

[@jessssalemme]

Thank you!

[@alangiles776]

Hi Jess 🙂 I think that if I wanted to make a friend on a Las Vegas hike, I would need some notice as I live in the UK 😂😂. I know what you mean really 👍. You don't seem quiet and introverted. You're very confident in front of the camera. You make very good points. I should ask you how you're doing today?

[@jessssalemme]

Thank you! & I’m doing well, hope you are having a good day as well ☺️

[@akaram3590]

lol love your hubby - does he have any friends that wanna hang out ? lol jk. thanks for this! great tips!

[@jessssalemme]

😂😂 he does have some single friends!

[@Dimend8888]

Very well done - relatable and good advice

[@jessssalemme]

Glad you found it helpful! 💕

[@louisthemates999]

I’m really have trouble finding friend in new country 😢what to do?

[@ChrisSalemme]

This makes me want to get out and go meet some new people. I need to expand my network in las vegas to meet new people and push myself out of my comfort zone

[@jessssalemme]

Yeah I think it’s always great to practice expanding your circle and meeting new people 💕

[@shelbieofcourse]

I think you missed a tip. Saturdays…basketball for the boys…hahh

[@mikeyroh]

My friends moved away from me and it broke my heart. How do I tell them that?

[@jessssalemme]

You just come visit themmmmm 💕💕💕

[@jessssalemme]

Also thank you for your first ever comment on one of my videos lol

[@mikeyroh]

@@jessssalemme uh first EVER youtube comment. And only for the best Jess I know

[@jessssalemme]

@@mikeyroh awwww 🥰

[@randitochervlogs]

making friends for me is a little hard but definitely gonna take some good advice

[@jessssalemme]

I think everyone finds making friends challenging but hopefully these tips help! 💕

[@randitochervlogs]

@@jessssalemme thanks girl

[@DianaHernandez-fe9io]

Imfeel very sad even more after the pandemic, it is difficult to talk to people on the supermarket, or maybe I am in the wrong place, but I noticed they are somfocused on their whatsapp or phone, I cant have a connection or dont know where tomfind like minded people. I miss the days when I could sit and talk with my friends and family but they leave me alone, maybe it was good for me, so I can move on.

[@1matim]

thanks, good video

[@littledevil23]

I love your top in this video!

[@jessssalemme]

Aw thank you!

[@Octaviacliosisley]

I said this to myself! I moved to a new city & am hoping to find community ❤

[@jessssalemme]

You got this!

[@NG-ww9gv]

Here's what no one will tell you: There is no such thing as real "friends". People are only drawn to people who can provide something for them, if you don't have anything useful to provide for other people then people will never speak to you. If you think friendship or even love is a real thing, its because you were likely raised by idealistic/codependant parents that have convinced themselves that these things are real to cope with the fact that they'll never be loved. I wasted 15 years of my life with rose colored glasses thinking that people actually cared about me only to find out that my value to others was entirely superficial. Dont bother trying to make friends unless you are prepared to be discarded as soon as you have no value to them anymore.

[@UnknownUnknown-xf6lo]

🤣😂🤣

[@ZoryaZXD]

This negative mindset is exactly what’s holding you back from having real friends. What a toxic mentality

[@Fegga1955]

We must belong to a school environment,office or sports.Gets tougher as we age.Thanks very helpful

[@JessicaBielma-sq8wd]

Love you

[@edwardleecaliforniausa]

Hi jess you are amazing Supporter and I'm proud of you and I enjoy watching your vlogs because you are amazing Supporter

[@jessssalemme]

Thanks! ☺️

[@edwardleecaliforniausa]

@Jess Salemme your welcome sending you hugs ❤️ 🤗

[@Mel-jk3db]

Thank you

[@ashakora]

Thank you❤

[@BrendaLee-cr4hn]

Good tips

[@jessssalemme]

Thank you!

[@JessicaBielma-sq8wd]

😊

[@mansoor3159]

Very Very helpful video Jess I really needed this video you are my inspiration and I wish you reach 1K Subscribers very very soon!💫😊❤️

[@jessssalemme]

Thank you! Glad you found it useful! ☺️

[@arealious25]

Never make friends at work. If you either quit or get fired. Don't expect anyone to call you.

[@arunkasharma1995]

Forget friendship. Tell me how to make a jawline

[@davidwhitcher1972]

Easy? Are you at all decerning who you become friends with? How many male friends have you made?

[@rooroo43]

HVING KIDS MAkes IT HARD TO MEET PEOPLE

[@jonathanyeong324]

Friends are expensive! Be careful who you mix with!

[@multizillionaire]

Good

[@shabbirhussain8198]

Awesome video

[@jessssalemme]

Thanks!

[@ingegaasbeek296]

I am tired of her talking... I'm not gonna finish the video. Man, just insane!😮😮😮

[@AgentPaycheck7139]

You know, sometimes it is very hard for people to make friends. It can be confusing and frightening for people with autism like me. And that can also mean the autistic people hardly interact with their friends.

[@jessssalemme]

yeah very true! That is why I made this video!

[@ingegaasbeek296]

She's tooooo much! People will be running away from her..

[@SamsonKimburua]

Why it's part of life

[@cochalu8222]

Are you sure you are an introvert? Not trying to be offensive

[@pearlfeather9326]

Its easy to make wishy washy friends

[@lemarginalmagnifique8547]

Bonne vidéo ! Personnellement, je conseille le livre "AISANCE SOCIALE", de Nathan Stone. Le gars est psychologue et tout, il est hyper compétent. Le livre est très complet pour tout ce qui est des relations sociales, en l'amitié, au boulot, l'anxiété sociale, etc. C'est très riche, y a tout !

[@jessssalemme]

great recommendation, I plan to check that out! Thanks!

[@lemarginalmagnifique8547]

@@jessssalemme De rien ! 🙂

[@Rachel26172]

❤❤

[@adrianazollo2688]

I don’t do female friends I’m focused on career

[@tarapulido5148]

Can I be your friends

[@SebastienFortin07]

Great tips, but why are you always talking about meeting girls? I'm a guy and I want a guy friend.

[@Rosie-v6l]

More vudeoa please

[@harmonteron8493]

I want you be friends

[@Rosie-v6l]

Bees abd wabt a friend lije ypu ve my fruend pkeasr

[@salmanrazakmemon]

Will you be my friend?

[@rathmass5265]

Shurrup and stop the cap

[@devasta75]

You r a girl . Much easier to mae friends

[@veronicalagor4771]

Not necessarily. Source: Am girl, have always struggled to make friends

[@anthonytokar3961]

Step 1. Be a hot brunette

[@Rosie-v6l]

Ve ny friend veg ypu need a feiend like ypu

[@Rosie-v6l]

K8ve your videos videos be my friend

[@Rosie-v6l]

Live your videos be my friend beg ypu pleasr

[@Chundduru]

Say in Telugu

[@knowledgeispower917]

what if theyre not friendly or talk behind your back?

[@jessssalemme]

I definitely wouldn’t continue to pursue friendships like that!

[@Blossom535]

Then those are not your friends I had a girl like that in my life I had to learn the hard way that she wasn’t a real “friend” not only that she used me and wasn’t there for me thru my hard times but she gossiped about me to everyone and used me to make herself look better