how to make jorts

make your own jorts (jean shorts) in two easy steps!
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shot by Karen Han: karenhan.org
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[@sharx2002]

he's constantly shifting between looking like a british chap from the 1940s and an american cult leader from the 70s

[@tenacityxl]

I mean this fandom is basically a cult

[@FlashwingthePony]

I think he’s a hybrid breed

[@nrggvrn5576]

We'll need your blood. It'll please the great Jort. Your sacrifice is appreciated!

[@FlashwingthePony]

Quote HA

[@alexandratrigg4778]

@Thatguywiththestuffies KZbin page. feminine hips*

[@aquaintsound]

The Venn diagram of people who make their own jorts and people who have read lots of Shakespeare is a circle

[@tobysinbad]

lost things i was blown away by this until I remembered how gay Shakespeare and jorts are

[@louistheriault3900]

I dont know man, i feel like the venn diagram of scene boys and people who have read shakespeare is two distinct circles.

[@tobysinbad]

Louis Thériault they’re two small circles in the big gay circle and there’s crossover because there’s so much cool stuff jammed into that gay circle

[@data6022]

this is violence against me but ok

[@hip2besquare632]

It only becomes a venn diagram when you add H.P lovecraft

[@COFFEEWSUGA]

the smooth transition from "this is a joke" to "this is a horror video now" is my favorite thing and i can't find a word to describe it

[@josephdbeecher]

Maybe… zjierb?

[@nicomoist5336]

Unus Annus be like-

[@jw5386]

@@nicomoist5336 memento mori

[@blue_leader_5756]

There’s probably some convoluted German word for it

[@martjanamoon1785]

@@blue_leader_5756 I´d call it "urplötzliche Beklemmung"

[@MisutaaAsriel]

This feels like an indie horror short you'd find at a film festival.

[@EKimatH]

It is

[@ptilonist]

An indie horror... jort...

[@ryanlee2935]

Now I want Brian and Karen to go all the way and make that short! (that's as long as a short film! in their style! it'd be GREAT!)

[@johngreenaway1472]

You mean like the Austin Film festival?

[@mostlybaton1696]

I think you mean an Inddie horror jort

[@olivetreewhimsy2016]

Words cannot describe the visceral fear that shot up my spine when the jeans started running in the dark

[@greg98]

Nothing prepares you for it regardless of how many times you see it

[@knifesketball]

what about the painting that repeatedly shows up

[@greg98]

@@knifesketball hold on WHAT

[@politecat8802]

Greg, there is a painting of a blue chair with a green background that seems to move with Brian. I saw it on a couple different walls and a door.

[@greg98]

@@politecat8802 I mean I noticed after going back to check, but I genuinely appreciate your help anyway.

[@KevinCow]

Imagine how much scarier this would've been if it was made after all the sad clown paintings went up in the hallway.

[@red_revival]

I really wish I hadn't imagined that

[@onnopleaseno649]

oh ... you are the bastard man?

[@kassowary8673]

that is kevin punt

[@Sompursone]

@@kassowary8673 He married and changed his last name. It all makes sense now!

[@kivzzzz]

Why is everyone so scared of clowns?

[@ComradeCorwin]

"Step 1E: Fear- **sudden scene change** " **shivers** This video demonstrates how important video editing can be.

[@aurele2989]

Yep. I love the transition there.

[@godoy_]

Yup

[@troubadour1480]

3:38 “i can’t believe my eyes, I’ve got some jeans around my thighs” The jeans are singing his song, they really did appreciate what Brian has done and are coming to give him a hug, nothing could possibly be wrong here

[@theoldzoeyaccount]

lit up the world as i fell asleep

[@Dezignfuzion]

@@theoldzoeyaccount ‘cuz they fill the open air

[@josieuwu9636]

@@Dezignfuzion and leave teardrops everywhere

[@owlgryffin5685]

oh my god i went back and turned up the volume- the background music is a warped version of the jeans song and that makes it a thousand times more terrifying-

[@yogangstudios5715]

@@josieuwu9636 you’d think me rude but I would just stand and stare

[@TsubasaVampire]

BDG walked out looking like a 70s cult leader and we all stepped up to follow him.

[@trueaidooo]

He is our god now

[@TsubasaVampire]

@@trueaidooo has he truely replaced sonic?

[@grzeg_]

i’ve asked my friend before this comment if they want to start a cult of him

[@disappointed2764]

SnowFoxSpirit it really be like that sometimes

[@Y2kep]

You mean Curtis from The Children Of The Mirror? Cause that's what this reminds me of

[@carolinacarvalho1129]

"Step 1 e): fear" is going in my fav quotes list without any context

[@RatherWatchThemSA]

I read this just as he said it and I jumped.

[@alanfuentes6214]

He was so scared that his glasses teleported

[@lucianosgonzalez3561]

I rewatched that "Be your own boss" video today and saw a comment comparing this to that video. I must have fucking repressed my memories of this video because before I rewatched it today I could have sworn this was just a normal, semi-joking DYI video. Nope. This is definitely a precursor to that video, and may well be the first cinematic installment in the BDGSHCU: Brian David Gilbert Surrealist Horror Cinematic Universe.

[@_pitako]

I can't properly express how funny it is that you repressed the horror aspect of this video

[@Duckolium]

i thought this was just a joke diy vid too i literally didnt remember a bit of horror

[@liyre4189]

@@Duckolium no way that makes three of us!

[@ninjathis3009]

You forgot step 1.e. Please proceed to step 1.f. *Hide.*

[@iamtheradicalleft3608]

In this video, Brian is looking for a job. Do with this information what you wish

[@dino2808]

"the words are quiet but the implications are loud" is my favorite line in the video and makes me shiver

[@jonas1015119]

he sacrificed his hair to the gods and in return got the mustache.

[@HelloBrothersGaming]

Why trade something so powerful for something so cursed??

[@Rioty1]

His Jorts foretold that it was a trade that must be done

[@cractor6307]

@@HelloBrothersGaming he was sorcerer and now he is a warlock

[@jonas1015119]

@@HelloBrothersGaming young gods wrath

[@instantnoob]

god I'll miss that hair

[@marsbar3374]

I just noticed the distorted whispering during fear is the “I’ve got jeans around my thighs” song

[@tobysinbad]

Mars Bar the LEVELS it’s fucking shakespearian

[@a.m.hofmeister725]

Disjorted

[@soupgoose7453]

God! That made listening to that section so much worse!

[@user-ym7rp9qb8d]

recycling

[@neuroatypicalkirby2]

THIS COMMENT MADE ME GO BACK TO THE FEAR SECTION WITH MY VOLUME TURNED UP AND THE DOOR SLAM KILLED ME. ALSO IT'S SO DISTORTED AND TERRIFYING AGHGHG

[@prodigyofnonsense5869]

Fun fact: The rythm of the song was Brian's heartbeat this whole time

[@shsltrash6685]

omg ive never realised, it actually corresponds to the emotions and stress in the scene

[@Multibe150]

So Brian straight up dies at the end?

[@Itsgriffeys]

End credit, no rhythm dance scene definitely suggests a post-death vision

[@lavenderlavender3952]

The **thwack** of his cat hitting the ground is underrated

[@libertyprime5777]

"Get along !" **Nuclear explosion in the distance**

[@TheNitpickChick]

For real though. That loud ass **THUD** never fails to make me cackle. 😆

[@hamletphase]

instructions unclear, got possessed by sentient denim

[@tiagotozo811]

Shouldn't have bled on it :/

[@kill_psyfurr]

Then the instructions were perfectly clear

[@Husku_]

THIS IS WHY YOU CANT BLEED ON THE JEANS NOW THE GIRAFFES WILL STEAL YOUR TOES DANG IT

[@acbonbe7059]

No you fool perfectly clear instructions you just were not skilled enough or prepared for the dire consequences of the jort creation process.

[@johnb3587]

Sound like we need a scissor blade

[@tomatoanus]

if this isnt nominated for best short film at the oscars next year, im gonna lose it

[@adamgamsby4234]

You mean the best...jort film...I'll go now.

[@monkeyspice2010]

@@adamgamsby4234 damn u took my comment....well played jort enthusiast

[@thefowl5068]

The Joscars?

[@coconutblaze8169]

Speedrun making jorts

[@jorgeparada8412]

Thats a very healthy cat Brian: "get along" Cat: *thump*

[@noammanakermorag9538]

I just noticed that he starts the first scene with long pants, but by 0:17 they have magically transformed into jorts

[@maerafinn6776]

Woah

[@unfortunatepineapple9922]

I’ve watched this video like 7 times and I somehow never noticed this fact

[@StraveTube]

JORTS WIZARDRY

[@candiidoggii1360]

holy shit theres so many details i didnt notice

[@clovelikethespice]

That’s just because he’s so good at jorting

[@mothpawbs027]

Bdg: get along Cat: *_wHUMP_*

[@SoGothImDead]

I laughed the hardest at this part

[@GEEthridge]

Zuko is a barbarian

[@TealZero]

@@GEEthridge correction: *THE* Barbarian.

[@peterwalker6475]

Ive found myself saying "step 1.e - fear" at random points

[@kilo3989]

I am excited for this to become part of my vocabulary, in addition to "And you can too! Why don't you join me?"

[@justarandomperson345]

Oh, same! It’s so strange

[@chs9999]

@@justarandomperson345 it's almost as if the jeans are taking over

[@AlexAustralis]

Its really quite impressive that Brian managed to create more effective horror and tension in a 4 minute skit about fucking jorts than the majority of horror movies can in hours of runtime and with multi-million dollar budgets.

[@Spookybluelights]

I've seen this at least ten times and I'm only now realizing the painting of the blue chair in nearly every indoor shot is a reference to the work of Alan Resnick.

[@thelastdonut5400]

I think the whole thing is really. Like the video itself is not only a "turtorial" that goes off the rails but theres tons of little creepy easter eggs and weirdly phrased dialouge that are also big aspects of Alan's videos. I dont think

[@RinzlerHoC8]

Seeing as Alan is based out of Baltimore, and BDG is originally from Baltimore.... there may be a fond connection there, if not hometown inspiration.

[@seemsfishy23]

Would you mind elaborating on this? I looked him up and even watched a few short clips but I can’t find anything that references this particular genius move

[@MarkusManon]

God it's true!

[@snorlax42]

It does really have Live Forever As You Are Right Now vibes!

[@theversusverses]

a brief summary: 1. choose the jeans 1a. practice on the jeans 1b. reminisce with the jeans 1c. respect the jeans 1d. listen to the jeans 1e. fear the jeans 2. cut the jeans

[@Otamatone69]

Ah my daily routine

[@theguythatdraws7392]

@@Otamatone69 Yup nothing like a good horror movie to start the day

[@Otamatone69]

@@theguythatdraws7392 That’s only when fear the jeans for any horror, other than that I respect and listen to the jeans Also what do you mean “start” the day? this is all of my day.

[@theguythatdraws7392]

@@Otamatone69 wow bro thats deep

[@Otamatone69]

@@theguythatdraws7392 not really

[@soomink]

Okay, but. Is no one going to talk about how perfect the transition to Step 1e: Fear was? He absolutely nailed the feeling of jerking awake after a nightmare with a gasp

[@helloan6455]

Soomin Kong the horror sequence was great, too. BDG is getting better at film along with his always good edits, I’m very interested in what he will do if he moves on from polygon in the next couple of years

[@SunroseStudios]

HONESTLY that bit had me legit on edge

[@alexiswilliams3950]

literally it was so impressive i went back and watched it a couple of times

[@pemo2676]

He probably just had someone there to turn off the lights (cut slightly) and then he got up lmao

[@stevierose8749]

Legasov his shirt was changed and his glasses were off. Two completely different takes.

[@anastasijahabarova1533]

It's been a year since I first saw this video and the words "a jean jorted before its time" pops into my head more frequently than what could be reasonably expected of it.

[@handfulmousefly]

Cecil Baldwin's voice: this ad was brought to you by Old Navy

[@cloud5519]

HELL YEAH WTNV BABY

[@mmashsouth4337]

And just what are you going to do with all that power? Step 3: Jort a boy

[@lemon5879]

Sir how it feels like to be the funniest person on this planet

[@sirpineapple2486]

But what step is the Jort Boy Redux?

[@mmashsouth4337]

Freon Silas Lonely

[@BearJoyner00]

According to a multitude of replies to a comment I made, step 3 is bleed on the jorts.

[@Ryocniel]

Step 4: flex those jorts

[@hyperactivwp]

everybody gangsta till the jeans start walkin

[@emmakeyes1097]

hyperactiv that’s when the screaming starts

[@PokeAndDestroy]

*future jorts

[@cecedawkins4454]

Emma Keyes imagine reading this without context

[@emmakeyes1097]

cece dawkins see that makes it a solid 2% funnier

[@coyotewood]

His videos are an incredible demonstration of how to use technology to inspire fear-the weird editing in this one, the data moshing in "be your own boss", the rewinding in the camcorder one. I'm taking notes

[@bl6973]

When he said “listen to the jeans” my alarm went off.

[@mikaroni_and_cheez]

The jeans are listening

[@LordTreyHowdy]

I never thought I'd describe a pair of jeans as Lovecraftian but here we are.

[@Rachel-xf3op]

Jovecraftian

[@rawovunlapin8201]

@@Rachel-xf3op *Jortcraftian. Jovecraftian is obviously what sci-fi horror looked like before electricity was the norm.

[@ctoagn2178]

don’t compare that man’s mere scribbling on pages to the forever eldritch horror of the jorts. he is but a human. to think that an author could ever be compared to the horrible, fearsome, pure jorts would be blasphemy of the highest degree. the man you know as lovecraft is but a pawn in the shadowy arms of the jorts. he is a link between words, where the all powerful jorts may warn us mere mortals to repent, or suffer.

[@someone9331]

Lol Jortcraftian makes so much sense cuz he's literally crafting them i-

[@nonebody2601]

Unfortunate that I can sit through one of today’s horror movies with only minor discomfort, but a video about making jorts on the internet managed to activate my fight or flight response. Hollywood should take notes

[@godisdead4416]

Yeah, this is one of the more terrifying things I’ve seen

[@1018monty]

Honestly though. I love horror movies and jumpscares never get me, but there was something about this video that just wigged me out

[@sagecolvard9644]

@@1018monty was it that almost every scene in his house has the same painting in the background, even though the camera moves, so it has to be on different walls?

[@jasono8783]

@@sagecolvard9644 what the fuck

[@swaggerfran3653]

the best part is that the main character is a pair of jeans

[@thorn99thorn]

3:09 I'd like to acknowledge how wonderfully this was edited

[@ConnorNolanTech]

I took me so many viewings to notice, but the sounds whispered through the apartment by the jeans in step 1E: Fear is the same song he serenaded the jeans with earlier.

[@kellanlevi5663]

Went from polygon twink to college prof that did LSD in the 80s

[@oceanman_8370]

He was always that

[@eternal8song]

the duality of man

[@vampiire_bat]

he's both

[@BananaFaceB]

im calling the police.

[@alephnole7009]

He's become Ned Flanders

[@miakarmesin8109]

The fact that this is listed under Howto & Style is just *chef's kiss*

[@parsnipguy2986]

only rewatching this did i realise that the jeans are already moving and shifting in the background of 1:19, right after the blood-spill

[@MrSignman65]

holy shit

[@Kenpokid4]

That's the cat

[@sapphis_lazuli]

i thought that was the cat but now i'm so horribly uncertain

[@JollyGeorge_]

Jort storm really put this on my recommendations

[@louzo5175]

its some call of cthulu shit of wait, it really was fortold in the song at jearth part

[@seraphlastname3511]

i’m crafting and accidentally cut my hand and my first thought was “Do Not Bleed On The Jeans.”

[@lulwsam864]

did you bleed on the jeans. did yo u

[@reigenarataka5589]

you didn’t bleed on the jeans though? anything but the jeans. do not bleed on the jeans.

[@pot-ay-topot-ah-to4325]

don’t cry

[@naiknaik8812]

are you alive

[@blueninja012]

@@naiknaik8812 I- I don't think they are

[@crisppacket5751]

I followed these steps exactly. I now have 5 corpses in my room and all i can hear are the voices, but damn, are these jorts comfy

[@setboundarieskindly]

That's how you know you did it right

[@id-f86]

what a masterpiece, can't believe I've seen this because of jort storm

[@tabletopthursday]

same 😭

[@sapphis_lazuli]

either you serenade your jeans with it, or jortstorm (the character) is the product of too many bloodied jorts.

[@Aiterior]

This was the first ever video from mr briam that I ever watched. It led me down a wonderful rabbit hole and I must say that my life has significantly improved, not because of the jorts, but instead because of the jorts

[@marynorthenscold3041]

Imagine just being on the beach, trying to enjoy a nice day with your family, when this man frolicks by, affectionately holding a pair of jeans

[@xamimox7971]

The only response to this, of course, is to frolic along with him.

[@ethanarch]

Honestly would probably be the least weird thing to happen on Coney Island Beach on any particular day 😅

[@ThirdRateNerds]

"Get along!" - he exclaims to this absolute unit of a cat before it brings down the force of God onto the floor below.

[@arcchimera1112]

*thunk*

[@averagesnail5437]

cat

[@st0lf]

If there is one thing i know about bdg, it's that somewhere on his hard drive there is a full 2 + minutes love song to his jeans.

[@RealRaven6229]

“Do not bleed on the jeans” Me, a girl: well damn.

[@thekodex1186]

Lmao

[@marleybonestheiii2195]

Well... Cra- *gets violently murdered by jeans*

[@Nina-wh6hb]

I am right now on my period And I have not thought about this Please make sure all blood is cleared and away from the jeans Wait there’s a Jean emoji I am scared 👖

[@abi_rose]

bdg grew his hair out just so he could cut it off and craft the trimmings into a bespoke moustache

[@snoopynwoodstock99]

bdg is accepting his final form...80's jazzercise trainer

[@melonball9927]

bold of you to assume this is even his final form

[@snoopynwoodstock99]

@@melonball9927 true, he is too powerful

[@HufflepuffsPanda]

I've watched this video probably 11 times, and this is the very first time I noticed the skull at 0:56

[@gaIIowsCaIibrator]

Thank you charles slimecicle for bringing this video back into my attention

[@MidoriJane12]

“get along now” **drops cat heavily**

[@arcchimera1112]

Or as I like to call it, the *THUNK*

[@SjorsHoukes]

Heavily? That’s just the sound a cat makes when it lands on the floor.

[@shockofthenew]

@@SjorsHoukes to be fair, Zuko is a chonky boy so he makes a louder thunk than most.

[@thoop6795]

Yeah 75% of my cats love to be picked up but actually get mad when you just l o w e r Them to the ground, so we just drop them as gently as possible.

[@franny6221]

@@thoop6795how many cats do you have?

[@fen4ri]

this was so scary. loved it. the part where he is fruitlessly scrubbing at the blood and there is just more and more appearing was definitely relatable tbh

[@WMastersred]

I have several concerns.

[@leaillex]

Damned spot

[@Ravaxr]

@@leaillex What, will these hands ne'er be clean?

[@fen4ri]

@@WMastersred hahaha.. let me clarify: periods

[@AmandaBee]

I scrolled past this comment then I had to scroll back up after my brain processed the words

[@aquatech1753]

since listening to Jort Storm, I've fallen into this rabbit hole of jorts arts...

[@Strange_System]

This is the first step to the Jort Storm

[@archivised6436]

the moustache only increases his twinkness also he looks like a 80s cult leader and im willing to follow

[@nerdygayboi]

The moustache is a tragedy

[@gavincarle3063]

I'm in

[@gabriellewiggins2605]

THE CULT OF JORTS

[@whosmaya666]

@@nerdygayboi it's no gesamtkunswerk

[@mankymeson2093]

Did he grow a moustache for the express purpose of making this video?

[@legoduckie]

God I hope so

[@ecogeek234]

No but also yes.

[@Cheesemongle]

clearly, yes

[@crowspeaches5123]

TheVacantProfessor I hope so. He looks like hipster Freddy Mercury.

[@CallaSoreon]

If you keeps it I hope he styles it like Dorian from Dragon Age.

[@asafupps]

His little dance at the end brings me so much joy

[@ryan.s.h.]

This is still my favorite psychological thriller ever made.

[@owenlee3291]

Instructions not clear, I killed five men and the jeans are taking over.

[@esper6119]

Time for step 2

[@ShuraEssays]

But you didn't get blood on them right? That would be most unfortunate.

[@unfortunatelyswagged6226]

@@ShuraEssays Indeed, one cannot stress that point enough. The consequences are dire.

[@blouiaie]

The Jeans Do Not Forget.

[@scienceme9794]

I TOLD YOU, ANAKIN! THE JEANS ARE TAKING OVER!

[@whatthewonder]

Why isn’t anyone talking about how the painting of the blue chair keeps showing up in frame and is definitely a nod to Alan Resnick’s horror short films?

[@ShuraEssays]

That's assuming this isn't a horror short film

[@a_d7366]

@J B Alan tutorial anyone?

[@maagnatism678]

@@a_d7366 i was just thinking this

[@shumeiyang1024]

That's what I was thinking!! I didn't assume it was a reference though bc im not sure how well known alantutorials is

[@SengokuTheGouda]

I was getting some major Alan Resnick vibes from this, yet I completely missed the Blue Chair. I’m ashamed.

[@jtelroy]

After rewatching this many times, I've only just now noticed the moving jeans in that background at 1:20

[@brandondarnell1150]

Jeff Gentile just his cat i’m pretty sure

[@BlueCatarex]

i cant imagine how confused people were to see him traveling with a pair of jeans

[@brentraptor]

i can't believe it took me this long to notice that the painting keeps moving

[@RatOfTheWoods]

& it's a blue chair!!

[@gummysnacksandknives9229]

I didn't notice until you pointed it out

[@bradenmeyer7465]

Which painting?

[@RatOfTheWoods]

@@bradenmeyer7465 The blue chair

[@Soup_of_goop]

@@bradenmeyer7465 the one with the blue chair that is in almost every shot

[@NeverEndingJourneyer]

thanks brian for re-instilling in me the sheer terror of dr seuss's "pants with nobody in them" book, a good twenty years after reading that book scarred my fragile child's mind

[@Dreeraven]

cj THANK GOD I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS THAT I FEARED THAT I HAD LOST MY SANITY LIKE THAT POOR BEAR CREATURE

[@mitchellprice5586]

i had reoccurring nightmares bc of that shit!!

[@triantafelidesfox8344]

I WAS TERRIFIED OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS FOR A GOOD 7 YEARS AND I HAD A HARD TIME ENJOYING ANY SEUSSERY FOR A WHILE I’M SO GLAD IM NOT ALONEE

[@charlottewindmill1961]

THANK YOU THAT STORY WAS FUCKING TERRIFYING

[@thepip3599]

I WAS THINKING OF THAT STORY THE WHOLE TIME TOO!! Also why are we all shouting?

[@JakeBrook_]

The day is humid, a looming tension lingers, as I look upon the horizon, a storm is brewing. This storm, however, is unlike any other before. The end is nigh, my friends, for coming unto us is none other than *the jort storm...*

[@CoraCreates]

The Jory Storm before Jortstorm.

[@tristanneal9552]

I’ll admit, 3:50 got me. Was not expecting that level of special effect from this.

[@johvie]

I expect nothing less.

[@jonahobrien1331]

that wasn't special effects. ooooooOoooooo

[@eltostado3304]

I believe he masked it in post

[@snapple1877]

Holy Cow Tristan, it is 3:51 am, and I saw your comment and paused at 3:48 in the video. I don't want to see anything scary while trying to go to bed, so I will watch the rest of the video after I get up.

[@TSMaster]

@@snapple1877 Did you watch it?

[@hannahmoorehughes]

i’ve made a mistake. i bled on the jorts. they’ve begun to scream with a ferocity that only be matched by mating koalas. my family is crying. my crops are failing. please brian, benevolent god of jorts, save me

[@ctoagn2178]

Hannah Moore there is no escape. you are forever doomed. the jorts have spoken, and you have not heeded their words. now, now you must learn. jorts are one. jorts are all. jorts are everything.

[@left8277]

This reads like a Welcome to Nightvale excerpt

[@Izolus]

Always remember Step 1e. For that is all you can do now young one. Never forget that step, never forget. I am so sorry.

[@oliversharpe158]

You have committed the cardinal sin and you shall suffer the consequences

[@MajesticCabbage]

you've made a mistake, but you can fix it today. IF YOU JUST FOCUS ON THE NOTES THAT YOU DONT -- PLaAaaAY

[@calliope2427]

so this is where it began... the first jort testing facility... the jortex must have been created here

[@ashercorporation]

jort storm

[@SupaMegable]

I just want to say this is the first Brian David Gilbert video my boyfriend ever made me watch and it took me another several months before I would let him show me another one.

[@enzldavaractl8345]

have you watched the dances moving series

[@JessicaEliza]

LMAO

[@abbydekker678]

My boyfriend tortures me with these

[@sapphoanna]

Have you accepted BDG into your life now?

[@SupaMegable]

@@sapphoanna of course. He comes to me at night and haunts my dreams. As he should.

[@sethdouglas4982]

bdg is truly the lady macbeth of the jean world

[@annak9096]

what, will these jorts ne'er be clean?

[@mxambivert2499]

AHHHHHH- I just realized something while binge watching BDG videos. So, in the emails shown at the beginning, they appear to be written by his ex-wife, named Sandra. And in the Buy My Bed video, he shows you a birthmark that spells out Sandra. Maybe these two videos are connected somehow? Or it could be completely irrelevant, I’m just gonna go take a nap.

[@BladingMoon]

Someone needs to send this to charlie ASAP

[@marzcantread]

brian: uploads me: *sounds of delight and joy* me, but after i saw him n a mustache: *sounds of fright and scare*

[@temporaltrickster2031]

“I’m not your friend and you have no control over what I do with my body” -BDG

[@Olliekzm]

Macbeth scene where Lady Macbeth can’t wash imagined blood off her hands < the scene in this video with Brian can’t wash out blood from his jorts

[@spoop4967]

or perhaps the jeans themselves are alive and are bleeding

[@naresu]

@@spoop4967 and it's alive because he got blood on the jeans

[@LocutusBorgOf]

"Will Neptune's great ocean wash this blood from my Jeans? No, these will rather make the multitudinous seas incarnadine, making the blue one red" (I did it from memory, don't judge)

[@bignosh]

This was the first Jort Storm

[@sarahbearbabygirl]

bdg’s first video helping us lean into the vibe of his future existential cosmic horror projects

[@john-tc8xd]

I wasn’t sure if Brian was serious about the mustache but he sure was

[@MrsTold]

He sure was, my dude, and it clouldnt be more glorious

[@madman1276]

I was honestly scared during the 1.E fear segment. That is of course until the jeans started walking. I was delighted by that wonderful moment.

[@bluejayrobinfinch]

Everybody gangster till the jeans start walkin

[@jadelaidlaw9382]

Yeah I cracked up at seeing the jeans running out like that lol

[@Hyena_Heckler]

I find it funny that the emails at the beginning were from Sandra, a name that he made a joke about having as a birthmark in the video "buy my bed"

[@skyler6987]

Is no one going to mention that when he lifts up the jeans at 0:55 there's a skull underneath them?

[@wherethefrickismygoat7161]

Omg I never noticed that. Amazing

[@ishimarooo]

I've watched this video like 10 times and have never noticed that omg

[@jaydenapollo5337]

Hey Brian, not to be dramatic, but this is actually a cinematic masterpiece. I’ve watched this at least 5 times. I’ve shown it to my family twice. I notice something new every time I see it. Absolutely fantastic you funky goblin man.

[@mejhdhhicbfshihids652]

Jayden Apollo that last bit caught me off guard

[@sumote1947]

I know what you mean, this is like the 5th time I watched this and I only now noticed that there is the same painting in every scene where he is in his house.

[@Ritwika-Saha]

@@sumote1947 oh my god

[@mystaee2914]

and the skull at 0:56 is unexplainably terrifying

[@Husku_]

Mystaee oh hec it is

[@anxez]

This is some A-tier psychological horror that I haven't seen since "This House has People in it".

[@fealca1622]

I thought the same thing. Very Adult Swim Infomercials vibes

[@AdamGrier]

This led me down a frightening rabbit whole.

[@CodfishJoe]

I, too, was getting some light Alan Resnick vibes

[@scrungybingus285]

Considering that blue chair painting that keeps jumping around in every shot, I definitely think the Resnick influence was intentional

[@mangomaking]

these jorts have blood in them

[@veeasaurus]

this will surely help with the jort storm coming up

[@BusterNut]

2:31 this.... This sent shivers down my spine, I rewound to get the time stamp and it happened again, this video holds too much spook for jorts

[@oohwow2787]

Congratulations on going right into the sweet spot of the venn diagram of Lovecraftian Horror Narrator and Addams Family Friend. Wonderfully horrifying, horrifyingly wonderful. This has converted me into a jorts-liker

[@ewwpoorpeople5684]

*jort-ist

[@oohwow2787]

@@ewwpoorpeople5684 Absolutely Genius, someone give this person a raise

[@zieellingham7297]

Well put

[@MSCoolio777]

There are no jorts-likers. Only jorts-lovers

[@emerz3530]

As a kid, I was afraid of the Dr. Seuss book "The Pale Green Pants with Nobody inside them"... That fear has been brought back to the light, the fear of *pants.*

[@sagecolvard9644]

That's why this hits me the way it does! Thank you! I had forgotten that story.

[@francesatty7022]

I was scared of that story too!!

[@willowmarie218]

YES!! The pants running in the dark reminded me of that book so viscerally

[@donkthekongjr4670]

Oh yes, that one was terrifying

[@ahobbit1273]

Brian David Gilbert is my favourite surrealist comedy-horror filmmaker.

[@williamellis8304]

I only found out about BDG because I looked up a video on how to make a pair of jean shorts and clicked on this for a serious answer. As I kept watching it became very clear that this was satire And then I followed the directions. And my God, how beautiful my jorts turned out to be. Glorious in their denim fabric, made for the finest of monarchs and royals. I did it. I made Jorts™

[@thisandthat3889]

i thought this channel was pretty much gone now that you are in polygon. I was in for a pleasant suprise

[@kidyomu89]

Ah, somewhere between 999th and about 1kth like, how satisfying.

[@orijimi]

But Polygon is pretty much gone now, so that creativity's gotta go somewhere.

[@theghostshark_]

@@orijimi what you mean

[@joshward7009]

@@orijimi yeah what do you mean?

[@orijimi]

@@joshward7009 They barely manage a video a week.

[@somestupidbaboon2783]

Hey uh i dont understand why he emphasized the "no bleeding" rule so much, but while making a knitted sweater i accidentally stabbed my finger, but the jeans happened to be nearby an

[@elbowsbuns1896]

@Hal Moore f

[@jacksonmair4101]

f

[@SwirlyPinwheel]

F

[@NerdySweets3]

f

[@sleepysenpai35]

F

[@baconsoup1864]

The elders foretold OF A FASHION SO BOLD

[@fletcharn8205]

Random topic but recently I've been using subtitles and captions more often as they help me focus on and intake media, and the properly timed and accurate captions that BDG uses are a freaking delight.

[@GermaphobeMusic]

instructions unclear; i made sheans

[@marshalinehamismother]

Instructions unclear, I Jeaned my sports

[@ParadoxGavel]

You must send them to Planet Shean. It is their home now.

[@birdwithlemonade256]

Oh no I made short shorts

[@FreshGirl3000]

😂😂😂

[@filipemartinho1753]

Amateur mistake, sheans are clearly inferior way to jorts, as sheans are simply short jeans, while the superior jort are jean shorts

[@cukeumberr]

I JUST REALIZED THAT THE EMAILS ARE FROM SANDRA, WHICH IS WHAT HIS BIRTHMARK SPELLS

[@sagecolvard9644]

I literally fell out of bed reading this. I want you to know that, and then I want you to buy the bed.

[@kilo3989]

OH NOOOO

[@cinderheart2720]

his birthmark?

[@cukeumberr]

@@cinderheart2720 from his buy my bed video

[@foiledagain1914]

Holy fuck it all makes sense

[@scotthanley5980]

Many years ago as a student in Edinburgh in my 2nd year, I thought I would fashion some jorts from some light blue denims that had come of age. I thought they looked so cool as I strode down Cockburn Street (meant to be pronounced coe-burn!!! but no-one ever does). Girls were smiling at me and I thought, these jorts really are the ticket, only to discover that I had somehow cut the legs shorter than the pockets, which were hanging down my thighs like white oven gloves below the jort line. An addendum to BDG's video guide: make sure you cut BELOW the depth of the pockets, unless you wish to remove freshly baked torts with your jorts, which I wouldn't recommend! Perhaps this is how that street in Edinburgh got it's name!!

[@hannahu.6220]

I’d just like to say that there is a direct reference to this video in the Rusty Quill podcast Stellar Firma, in episode 59. It’s so fucking amazing, man.