How to Make New Friends!

[@TheLittlealice16]

Loneliness is something that SO MANY of us experience but nobody seems to talk about, as a result it often feels like we are the only one in that position, so thank you for this Kati!! xx

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! This question was voted on by so many kinions.. you are definitely not alone with it!! xoxo

[@bobhunley6457]

I agree Alice. Im so confused because I had thought I had worked through all of this. The 15 years later, bam. The after affects of trauma has claws. My loneliness is due to my illness because I havent been alone for 25 years. So when I didn't get into another relationship I got the withdrawals of the female species , then my adult trauma was around the corner. losing my girlfriend ( not the Narc) of 7 years , she had to move , then my sons mom starts keeping him from me again. Its odd my body craves the companionship but my mind is in terror. Anyway someone says it takes 2 years to be healed for Trauma. Lets add 2 more for my self- induced crisis.

[@lorisiccia5914]

I agree. And I try to connect with people.. who dont have time.. or say hi to new people which is so hard for me but try to say hi to everyone I passwhen walking...but mostly get discouraged when no one replies back and walks right past me.. occasional older person says hi back ans recently had a an older lady heckle me for only walking my dog up tge shady street n back....but only cuz it was so hot out..and didnt want him to burn his paws or get overheated. This woman says you need to walk farther than that... even your dog is pulling you to keep going. So i may seem our of shape ..but i had never met this person... So it was either nothing..or rude people... with a few replies after 100 or so people passed in a week. I used to mske friends easily as a kid..becausd i said hi to everyone... at one point my mom said two strangers asked me if j wanted to go for s ride with them as she was coming out from inside. I dont remember that at all. Now people dont know how to even say hello.. how to make a connection with people? On a lighter note one person who never replied in the year ans z half ive seen him maybe once a moth walking..sometimes more but say hello....to everyone. Old people ..people pushin carts say hello..some older people say helloback..maybe its tge people lackin that connection who actually say hi back...people w headphones i get ..no reply..but if i noticecheadphones.. i wave as i say hi. Well this person finally said hi back...and im not interested in dating everyone i say hi to....and i wonder if thats why people dont reply. Im just a person saying hi to another person...no hidden agenda.. nocrush.. just a hello. I think people need to start saying hi back....no strings attached.. and its the first word we learn. It all atarts with a smile and a hello.. Or sayin morning!...doesnt have to be s good morning but do yourselves both s favor say hi..or morning..back.

[@davids6533]

@@bobhunley6457 **my body craves the companionship but my mind is in terror.** That fits me like a tailored glove.

[@bobhunley6457]

Alice i self induced loneliness by doing a 180. I went from loose to nada and the first 3 months without having someone to cuddle etc. Put me into female withdrawals big-time. Now my fast is over I'm too lazy to go through it. Angelic beings you.

[@joycloud]

It’s too terrifying to meet new people. I don’t trust the old ones.

[@jeanp.5929]

bruh, the old ones are who I'm trying to meet. No new friends.

[@marleymae6746]

I feel exactly same as you joycloud...

[@Mockduck2020]

Just don’t give away more than you are willing to lose.

[@Wa._.li1]

Same 😫😣

[@verdezap]

It’s easy for me to meet new people. The hard part for me is to keep in touch with them.

[@jessicalee7767]

Saying yes is one of the hardest things for me, being an introvert and having social anxiety - and this is why I struggle with friendship, but I’m working on it! So I’m glad I’m not the only one 😊

[@kathythureen9341]

YOU ARE GREAT KATI.

[@kerryrobinson7014]

Thanks kati !! What a great video - I have just been talking about this in my own therapy sessions about trying to make friends after a year of shutting everyone out - I’m going to try and join a local running group for beginners ..... 🙂

[@MartinWhiteIsAFilmNut]

I'm about to join a creative writing workshop next week as a way of meeting new people, making new friends and doing more networking.

[@Katimorton]

Yay! love it!! xoxo

[@Rcj12]

thank you for this video. just what i needed honestly

[@fleetingfootnotes9133]

I thought this would start with buying a plot of land, building a factory and finally switching the "on" switch. And hey presto, freshly made friends!

[@kylemccown]

This was a recent topic with my therapist. Thank you, Kati!

[@TheOnceandFutureGeek]

Great video, thank you

[@eaglespiritlovecloud4729]

I could have used this information like 7 years ago... but it’s never too late!

[@justfine8647]

I have always felt that there is something about me that people don't like, because when I meet new people they don't want become my friends afterwards. Although I'm very picky with friends too.

[@maloumasereel966]

I’m soooo picky with friends, I like to talk with most people for 5 mins but after that I’m just bored :(

[@sarahwithstars]

Do you play games with yourself? Drop buzzwords into casual conversations and see who bites, move on from the rant-ers and dramatists and catastrophisers , or say something bland or vague and see who responds passionately and with opinions you can relate to or discuss. I want to say to you that there is NOTHING wrong with a 5 minute taster rule

[@maloumasereel966]

sarahwithstars Oh thank you for the ideas! I will try it :) i’ve always found it hard to connect with people

[@sarahwithstars]

Malou Mas. There is nothing fake or inauthentic about preparing questions or having rehearsed conversation starters fr any events where you find yourself with new people. And if preparation helps overcome that anxiety, you will read and notice people you could like and others will see a truer reflection of you, instead of only seeing an anxious exterior that could pass with some tools xxxxxx good luck beautiful xxxxxx

[@maloumasereel966]

sarahwithstars Thank you, that is very sweet :) and no fr3dricks0n, I’m mainly talking about people in university

[@iflymilly]

So be the excitement. Talk about what you enjoy and go from there. If you don’t have a solid idea of your interests, like Kati said, figure that out. Adding to that, I think entertaining your interests, as obvious as that sounds, is also key. So if you enjoy art, for example, keep tabs on upcoming exhibitions you’re interested in so you can talk about it with others and maybe even go to if they’re also interested.

[@MichaelSodapop]

I hate myself & have no interest in changing that because the past can't be completely undone & what fraction could, would require way too much money. All I want are friends to get me through the day, week, month, year, etc. Friends with the same interests as me, who aren't gonna push me into things I don't want to do. Unfortunately all most of this video told me was that I need to love myself & have money to spend on new hobbies/groups. I don't have to try a bonfire to know I wont like it. Mainly because such events will inhibit my own schedule. Not that I'd mind breaking from that but since doing so will negatively effect my health I have to decline. I live the life I do because I have to in order to function. I need friends who either happen to live the same way or their own lives are so flexible it don't matter. Everyone I've ever met in my town & neighboring ones isn't like that though. They're either drug addicts, drunks or too pure to appreciate my personality. That's even if I meet someone though, out here there's just no where to go to find others like me. I used to walk to the park every day & kick my soccer ball around. In hopes I'd attract others to join me but all I ended up doing was wearing myself out, then walking to the dollar store depressed to devour a box of cookies. You could say I need to change but no one dares to tell that to homos anymore. No one says they can't suck dick. So why should my mentality be seen any differently? I am who I am, I shouldn't need to be like others to be given a chance. Or hell even put up with me, I bet there's loads of other straight people like me who don't agree with homos but won't crucify them either. You don't have to agree with me, just don't treat me like the plague.

[@lmowle]

Fun video Kati! Just started doing meetups here a few years ago. Found an interesting and eclectic group of people. Great idea. Also good point to work on yourself. The idea of being patient with yourself while going through the process is important. Think you hit all the important points...Have things to contemplate too now. Thanks Kati! You're the best!

[@deborahwinberg4907]

I'm always so close to complimenting or talking to people I don't know, but then I don't because I always feel like I'm annoying :(.

[@sammysam2615]

I'm 36 and haven't had a friend in ten years. I honestly have forgotten how to make friends. But I know I definitely need to make some. Tired of being alone all the time.

[@RandyR]

The older I get, the harder it is. My career crashed an body got worse so now I am having to fight daily for survival.. I want to get out to go to recovery meetings an more. Despite the past 5 years being the most painful time, I am still staying clean an sober.. I have had to tell myself more than once that my life isn't over.. Seems that the world is more isolated because of technology an more.. There was a time where we had communities but they are hard to find.. My making videos has been some what of a therapy.. Despite being thrown over here 24 years ago, due to the huge quake, I still don't feel at home.. Thankfully I have learned to become comfortable in my own skin, because that is where I live in.. Thankfully I have the memories.. It is a rarity that I see or hear from anyone off of the machine.. It was not like this in the past. I am determined to take at least one day every week or two an go do something away from the daily stress an anxiety.

[@Kayyy8585]

Randy R technology totally made people more isolated, I agree

[@Katimorton]

I love your idea of doing one thing each week or two that's not stressful or anxiety producing!!! I hope doing that helps you feel better :) xxox

[@RandyR]

Kati Morton Am finally back up to deal with another day of challenges.. It is an uneasy feeling walking on thin ice and having to spend most of the time trying to avoid being homeless again.

[@RandyR]

Brittany S I pity the youth because they won't know about communities an friendly neighbors. Time has been altered and we ended up with this. I am determined to find a way to break into this city before I break on through an go home

[@karokohetjizepamerry5201]

I've learned alot from u❤️

[@essiesdancevidsandtravels6917]

What do you do when you have had a lot of dif life experiences, lots of hobbies and interesting life but sometimes I have trouble keeping proper balance in my conversations and talk too much or too little then ppl seem to become distanced... I panic bc I internalize and ask myself "did I say or do something wrong?" Idk if I m my own worst enemy but that's no way to live either is beating yourself up and then magnifying something negative about self to others only INTENSIFIES the experiences w others.... Part of it was from my childhood growing up.... having parents criticize me a lot rather than building a healthy confidence in a non-narcissistic way that has contributed to this trait.

[@FindingoutWhoIam]

Love this topic!! Thank You! And this is also what my channel is about too!! :)

[@markbennett5812]

i did a year of yes and did not meet a single person or get invited to anything or talk to a person for a whole year

[@passaggioalivello]

I never had a friend, so I never developed social skills to meet new people.

[@aquarispoot]

A therapist told me when I reach certain age, it's harder to make friends :( It's depressing yeah, if she's true on that yeah, but honestly come to think of it, I don't remember, HOW to make friends? I done well with people and hope they become friends like at work, but they don't make contact or anything? :/ Like I hear about crazy parties they go to and what not but don't get invited? I don't know, maybe I need to be like, "Hey if you guys want me there let me know?" I think my problem is fear of rejection. It's weird, I want to be friends, but I worry if others do want to be friends?

[@Eggplanet96]

do you think joining a sorority would make making friends easier?

[@Katimorton]

It definitely can.. because there are activities that they put on and it gives you more opportunity to meet people and get to know them. xox

[@shiannehart8724]

How much do you have to pledge to watch the live stream on patreon ?? Since she change from you now, I love to watch the live stream afterwards if I don't make it or can we not watch them after now? Someone help!

[@natalievallender9742]

Just came out of a long term relationship and was pretty lonely. Decided to join an evening photography class. Love it so much. We all have this shared passion, so it is super easy to talk to people; would recommend doing a class/group hobby you love to anyone xx

[@Katimorton]

Yay!! Thank you so much for sharing!! xoxo

[@paulflint6254]

great comment, i find that when your on a course it helps to make friends

[@markbennett5812]

my friend say you should just talk to random people on the street

[@hairyfrankfurt]

This is all fine and well, but my avoidance is telling me imma go live in a forest instead :D

[@kerryrobinson7014]

Hairyfrankfurt I’ll come too. We can be neighbours 😂

[@Kayyy8585]

Hairyfrankfurt SAME

[@Amy-ms6wj]

Yeah, I wish life were that simple and easy...

[@kimcollins702]

Just become Snow White and make friends with the animals instead

[@_maia_m]

Haha, me too. But I struggle to know what is me being anxious and avoidant and what is me just being introvert me, when to push myself and when to just accept myself as I am.

[@gjop-xm2xe]

I’m 61 and alone I really would love to meet someone

[@Ashley-ei9ok]

I hope you've found some beautiful souls to add your life 💗

[@lesleysears9808]

What town do you live in? I’m 62 yo married female looking for new female friends.

[@kimcollins702]

“Just say yes” The only thing I get asked to do is take people’s shifts and go to work tho

[@blairdean9545]

It’s so hard making new friends, especially if your lifetraps hold you back; I know mine sure do. But, watching this video gave me new hope on friendships! Thanks, Kati! ❤️

[@Katimorton]

Yay! So glad I could help :) xoxo

[@Saintfan24]

Lifetraps...good way to put it. I’ll be using this from now if you don’t mind.

[@jojames6621]

its actually more difficult to make friends for someone who has social anxiety like me! I can't speak a single word without shaking and feeling nervous in public. Imagine that!! NOT A SINGLE WORD WITHOUT SHAKING!!

[@blairdean9545]

Minh Nguyen Of course! My counselor introduced me to that term, and there are many books on it!

[@jojames6621]

BIM Brothers America you have social anxiety too??

[@graceleathers5970]

Kati, you’ve inspired me to finally get counseling! I’m getting married next year and I have a lot of deep rooted issues from my childhood and youth, and I want to work on myself and get better and loose my hurt

[@21minute]

I’m a person who rarely makes any new friends and usually abandon old relationships. This video really motivates me to make a big change in my life. I have scheduled travels and events this year so I have many opportunities to make and reopen friendships. Thanks for the video, Katie!

[@Anita-vc8nb]

I hope it went well and that you had amazing experiences. I wish you the best

[@Lillie-mae.Edwards]

Positive self talk is so bloody hard though. 💕

[@Katimorton]

I know.. but just give it a try.. little by little it gets easier :) xxoo

[@Lillie-mae.Edwards]

Kati Morton I’ve started journaling but I’m sure it’s a practice kind of situation. Thanks though 💕

[@caseybear4517]

Bethanie P journaling is AMAZING self-care, I can't recommend it highly enough! Stick with it :) even if you just write about your day, it gets things out of your mind and I find that it's nice way to process some things :)

[@mereani]

I believe in you gurl! A little each day 😊 and if you fall back into that negative thinking, dust yourself off and try again. Xx

[@Lillie-mae.Edwards]

Thank you

[@carolinecherry2423]

Thank you for your advice! My social isolation comes from being a middle-aged woman without children living in the suburbs . Everyone I meet in my neighborhood wants to discuss their kids, and that's the first thing they ask me about.. It creates such a distance between me and most women in their 40s and 50s because I never had children. I am also divorced, and most women my age are married or in long-term relationships, so that adds another layer of complexity. I'd love to move to the city where other lifestyles are more common and embraced, but it is too expensive for me now,; the suburbs are all families or retired couples whose children are grown and moved away. I would appreciate any advice. I've tried different types of meetups and activities, such as a Sailing Club, yoga, and book clubs, but they are all filled with the same types of people, married , usually with children, and no matter what the topic of the Meetup or activity is, the conversation always circles back to family life.

[@aliyaahakizimana9344]

keep your head up , keep trying and don't lose faith because the people you are looking for are closer than you think ! I'm praying for you

[@JC-fx3wh]

How are you doing nowadays? Are there any changes?

[@carolinecherry2423]

@@JC-fx3wh The main change has been a growing level of acceptance with my life and valuing the social support I do have. Thank you for asking!

[@allisonmeows__]

Kati you are awesome! I am finally in therapy because of you. Thank you for making these videos!

[@Katimorton]

Awe of course!! I am so proud of you for reaching out and getting help!! xoxo

[@JF-vy5jz]

Allison we all need therapy - should be a MUST in live - good for you

[@foot927]

Allison what f I want know you here 😄😉

[@Em99957]

I really needed this! Thank you for the advice 😊

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! I hope it was helpful :) xoxo

[@Amy-ms6wj]

You seem like a beautiful soul.

[@jazzynovakovic]

I make friends at 30 the same way I did at 3. I walk up to them and go : 'Hi, person! I like you, wanna be friends?' I freaked out a lot of people but made some great friends along the way 😁 When in doubt, just connect to your child-like self ❤️

[@MichaelLKW-Fahrer]

I'm just too weird to be friend material. I'm extremely shy, not outgoing & have severe anxiety. I can't do the regular things people do like go shopping (built up crowded stores) or goto the pubs. I have a very lonely life for a 29yr old.

[@Lilapurple111]

Michael Wilts do you have any hobbies? Maybe you would feel more comfortable meeting people that have the same interest as you.

[@Kayyy8585]

You’re not weird. You would be surprised how many other people are like you :)

[@elili3203]

Positive self talk, honey. Tell us a positive thing to every negative point you made up there

[@kimboeskeim397]

In addition to Katies super helpful content ...I Encourage you to Watch Dr. gerlachs videos on Anxiety & ....They are very helpful & offer great insight and information. Hope it helps 🕊

[@laurenpaterson3475]

Michael Wilts you overgeneralizing lonely few people go crowded places join smaller groups walking groups craft groups if u can’t find any stock a wanted advert in a library or coffee shop Saying I am looking people to do pairing or knitting or walking you be surprised how many people are looking for friends to do quiet hobbies

[@darienmccowan4454]

I graduated from high school last year and am not attending college. I have a job, but I've been working there for three years and haven't really connected with anyone. I've been feeling extremely lonely lately, and I think this video will really help me Branch out a bit

[@Katimorton]

Yay!! I hope so too :) xxo

[@florenciacorrea9006]

Same here but I'm not even working and I left college months ago :/

[@JJ-jw9ec]

Moved to a new town and found myself scared to make new friends. This video came just in time! Thank you for this, I think a lot of people are struggling with this as adults.

[@TheCutie314159265]

You posted this literally on just the right day. I feel SO lonely right now and was just texting people back home saying that I need friends here where I am at! XD

[@Katimorton]

I hope it was helpful :) xoxox

[@charchitmangal3061]

1. Work on your self awareness 2. Find your interest and join club 3. Reconnect with old friends. 4. Say the hell yesssssss!!! 5. follow up people :) 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@samanthacollins757]

I’ve been thinking lately I would like to join my social village events. It’s scary but I want to give it a go. Thanks Kati. Great advice as always ❤️

[@sarahwithstars]

Having kids the same age as your kids IS NOT a good enough reason to be friends with someone. It is befriending a race partner or a competitor. Having a kid is NOT who you are. So many people in my life are reaching an age where their kids move away and they are fed up with their adult friends, and it is because other parents were NEVER real friends. They were convenient acquaintances for childcare arrangements and staying informed about things going on with your kids' school. A parent is not WHO you are. So work hard to find real friends who you share interests and life philosophies with xxxxxx

[@whatsactuallygoingon5986]

sarahwithstars uh... u realise ur not meant to compete with other parents right ? That’s tragic u see other parents as competitors

[@MalteseKat]

I think perhaps people realize many things you presume they don't.

[@justfine8647]

When I do lists of "good things about me" I feel arrogant and uncomfortable. If I think "I'm smart" I feel like I'm saying "everyone else is dumb" I then I feel dumb myself. LOL

[@melonie_peppers]

Everytime I think of approaching people to make friends, I always think agh they'll probably turn out to be fake anyway or not even like me

[@Just_Jayy]

I definitely agree. It’s usually my anxiety 😫😂😂

[@ashleygarcia983]

I find making friends very easy but I make a large group but then I slowly start to back out of that group sometime it is hard to maintain having friends

[@juliejealousy]

I don’t have any friends outside of my family but I made that choice. After being hurt in the past, I decided to focus on myself but it’s been a while since I’ve really socialized. I’m so busy with grad school, work, and personal stuff that I need all the down time I have to recharge. I’m never motivated to talk to someone, ask how they’re doing, or get to know someone better. I’m just comfortable being alone but I know it isn’t healthy. :/

[@Kayyy8585]

There’s nothing wrong with that!

[@juliejealousy]

Brittany S well I think it’s ok to not want a huge group of friends, especially if you’re as introverted as me... but I should at least have a couple eventually.

[@Kayyy8585]

guiltmenot I’m also an introvert and only have one friend . She lives far away. Haha.

[@lauradains2734]

In my opinion, being alone isn't necessarily a problem unless being alone makes you feel unhappy or unloved or unlovable. If you've been hurt in the past and your family is your comfort zone and you can depend on them to be there if you need something, I don't really see a problem with being happy with your own company. Some people have a real hard time being alone with themselves and can't handle dealing with their own thoughts. That can be a problem if a person is working so hard to avoid themselves that they MUST have constant activity and input from others. Two ends of the scale. It sounds as though you've found a balance. And that, to me, is quite healthy.

[@ItsYourTherapy]

What makes you think this is unhealthy?

[@DanielaRamirez-sj8lw]

I'm so happy this exists! I literally had a whole therapy session about how I suck at socializing as an adult thank you!!!

[@charleysShadow]

what if you don't want friends, opposite sex or same sex , am I still going to be able to seem" normal"??

[@ingvildkvakestad]

I love this Even though I am still In school I struggle with this kinda it is mostly because I have trust issues. By The way any tips on trust issues? And fear Of rejection and hate?

[@thes5832]

That's called borderline personality disorder. Fear of rejection and or abandonment.

[@thequestess]

Not necessarily, Sharon. There are many things that could cause that fear. Ingvild, maybe some work around attachments? I struggle with opening up to people myself, because I've suffered emotional abuse in the past. I "learned" that it's "safe" to not open up to people. Anyhow, a therapist could help you work through your fears around this stuff.

[@Amy-ms6wj]

@@thes5832 no...its not. It is ONE symptom of it..but please don't go around telling people they have a disorder when you know nothing about them. Many people have trust issues that don't have bpd...

[@jackieking6660]

I swear your video topics always come at the perfect time! It’s crazy! Thank you Kati for all that you do for us. You’re amazing ❤️

[@mariasol446]

Thank you! I have social anxiety (along with GAD and depression) so this is a difficult topic for me. But I'm working a lot with my treatment team to overcome my struggles. Again thank you for the video :)

[@immasmiler7520]

this is actually an embarrassing topic, but a very real problem. This is great advice!

[@sartajahmad1051]

Hii

[@sartajahmad1051]

Hi

[@onelw2353]

I don’t have any friends they ether died when I was in service or they stabbed you in the back best for me to stay in these woods.

[@ciri151]

Does your name stand for one lonely wanker? Sorry, I had to! Hope you're doing ok.

[@Zarouge]

F is for friends who do stuff together... 😁 Making Feb the month of #sayyes

[@LightAndShapes]

Wow this came at a perfect time, thanks! :)

[@diannegoode9010]

Yes joining groups and trying new activities is a good idea. However what if l don't have money to do things? Right now in the UK as I many places the cost of living has exploded. People struggle to get food there is not much money for other things. In my home town even before covid not much went on. Now even less l don't have transport either. So often suggestions about making friends means spending money. I wish people realise for some thats not possible. We don't all have family either to help out. Really l think people need to realise that the old ways of finding friends no longer work for some of us.

[@PGOuma]

I'm in this position too. No transportation right now and hardly any money. This is also why I don't date because why would anyone date a broke person like me?

[@Saintfan24]

This is the perfect video. I get a lot of attention but I don’t act on it because I’m afraid people won’t like the real me. The real me is scarred and terribly flawed in relationships. But I’m also very caring and friendly. I love making other people happy ( in a genuine, not self punishing kind of way ).

[@iflymilly]

I would highly recommend looking up Brene Brown, if you haven’t already. She has studied vulnerability in great depth and has some really sound advice on this.

[@Katimorton]

I hope my tips are helpful and give you some ideas on how to slowly get comfortable making new friends. xoxo

[@Saintfan24]

Kati Morton thanks Kati!

[@Saintfan24]

iflymilly I will, thank you!

[@rachaelbrown5118]

#Katifaq Hey Kati! Can you please do a video on anxiety attacks while driving. This past week I have had multiple and I don't know what to do when they occur. Thanks.

[@panasko228]

How I am making freinds is going to events that I have found out about on Facebook events page. When I gardauted from college I really struggled with this becasue it was a major shock to me. I ended up depressed and by attending Thearpy and medication it got me up and moving. Also getting a Beagle puppy really helped me because of meeting other people.

[@FullTimePatient37]

They're so psychologically taxing I don't want anybody.

[@MrPancakes418]

This honestly couldn't have been uploaded at a better time, I'm on a gap year and all my friends are all over the country at uni so I barely get to see them, and I'm working at a place where I feel like I don't really fit in, but I'm slowly starting to speak to people there:) thanks for the vid Kati! X

[@davidgreer4790]

Making friends never sounded right. It seems better to have acquaintances. I know people but not close.

[@JasonHauser125]

Well, I barely have any friends myself. Later 40s, no relationship, no intimacy, and that's been a problem since I was probably 15. I've always had trouble making friends of either gender. The pandemic the past 18 months has made it even harder, and the isolation is on a new level of literally not seeing anyone my age for months and months at a time. I tried some online dating, but it was such an utter failure and waste of time I quit trying. It's hard to tell which is worse; the pain of being alone and unwanted, or rejected and unwanted. At least being alone doesn't require any effort.

[@littleflower115]

Katiii your positivity help me to get out of my clouds and see the sun hehe. Just for thanks. >.< Man, I'm so emotional... I hope you're fine as well. We are so glad to have you in this world! ❤

[@itsonlyatail]

I have never able to make friends, I’ve always been a loner, I just say the dumbest thing when trying to start conversations with people. I’m 65, I have a best friend from high school., I lost her to pancreatic cancer 3 years ago and the only one of my siblings that the family was happy with, I lost him to colon cancer last year. I’m not good with small talk, I’ve read books on conversations starters, when I try they walk away, I feel even worse, and I go home.

[@evelu7659]

And what happens with people don't like people 😂😂? My only friend is my cat 🐱

[@patriciacolors7178]

I am 27 and have never had a friend.Not in any sense.Only occasional associates who like me because I am nice and listen but don't talk in school or work situations.Nothing beyond pleasantries.When I do talk it seems like they don't want to listen actively like I do.I can only remember isolation.I am Asexual as well.I do not like physical touch.

[@jc5354]

I’m not an adult but great video! :) “If you don’t ask, your not going to know the answer” this is what I need to get in my head for many things in life other then making friends. Thank you Kati!

[@James-bc2oh]

Hard to make new friends after being in 2 toxic narcissistic relationships, you learn to not trust anyone,

[@sydneyalisonbaker]

You have no idea how much I needed this video today! Been thinking about this a lot lately!!

[@Katimorton]

Yay! SO happy to help :) xoxo

[@sartajahmad1051]

Hi

[@FatiguedButFabulous]

I really appreciate this video, Kati! I'm going to be graduating university soon and find that making friends as an adult is quite difficult.

[@abrahamcavazos1984]

Thank you very much Kati, this video was very nice and helpful.

[@Katimorton]

You are very welcome!! I am glad you enjoyed it and found it helpful :) xoxo

[@jenstewart1229]

I just discovered you recently and I'm so happy about it. Your videos are so helpful, and entertaining too!

[@Katimorton]

Yay! Welcome to the community Jennifer!! xoxo

[@ShellShock794]

I'm 25 and had a pretty large group of "friends" growing up (say 13-20 years old-ish). I liked them and spent tons of time with them but something just always felt empty/wrong with them. I completely dropped contact with every single person when I was about 21 and had zero friends until about 6 months ago. I had been invited out by some guys at work a couple times but always just said no because I thought it would be the same shit as when I was younger. I have never been so wrong about anything in my life. I randomly said yes one day and had a great time. It's been roughly 6 months and now the guys at my work truly feel like my brothers at this point and I'm more comfortable with them than I ever was with the people who I knew for almost a decade. I guess my point here is that there's friends out there for all of us, you just have to take a chance!

[@ihartevil]

if you struggle with social anxiety start out slow maybe go for hikes alone or one or 2 other peoples or just do a board game meet up and see how that goes so that way you are focused on the game more so than other peoples you will eventually get into the talking to them my brother did that and he loved it and he said there were a few peoples who were only there for the game but one person who had social anxiety just stayed with the others and didnt talk just was kind of there my brother did talk to him to figure out why he was there and he just admitted to having social anxiety but liking coffee and just was kind of there and it probably helped him break out of his shell

[@patrickdodds7162]

Wow! This is worth a lot to me. Thanks, Kati! I made 2017 my socialization year and I was in the dark about making friends as an adult. Whenever I did, it was by accident. But, this video codifies what I was learning. Great work as always! What a neat tool.

[@jordynn55]

I can meet people and everything seems like it went good but it never goes anywhere

[@chubinaruto]

What should i do when my depression anxiety and depression is hitting me hard? I have a hard time trying to explain to my councilor.

[@whitthompson6170]

chubinaruto I find it easiest to communicate with writing or drawing when I can't find the words to say.

[@Katimorton]

Maybe write some of it down and give it to your counselor?? And ask for other support. Cause they should be able to let you know of any other services they can connect you with to make sure you are getting the help you need :) xoxo

[@j7220]

I just walk up close to random people and say “Hi, I’m ••••• and I a new in town. Will you be my friend??” Works every time 🤓

[@dianalondono5599]

it's so hard when you're the only one following up, they tell you "yes " but never really do the effort to agree on a date. i just think there's something wrong with me

[@sartajahmad1051]

Hi

[@rubyw5606]

I'm still in school but.... I dont like people... Like at all. I have friends and I love them but once I'm home, they stop existing. Thats okay right?

[@joyenchanted13]

Have you got any videos on how to gain independence as an adult? How to communicate to your parents that you’re no longer a child, and need to start doing things yourself. I’m in university, and still find myself having to check with my parents on things that my friends would otherwise encourage or not need to know. I feel like my dad gets upset when I ask to do something myself (for instance, getting the train home instead of him picking me up) not sure how to communicate this to him, he doesn’t understand and I would like to avoid an argument.

[@patrickfamilylife9027]

Tayla B I’m a mom of soon to be 4 just wanted to let you know for some mommas it’s just hard to let go no matter how old our children get we still see that little girl/boy we cuddled at night and kissed all the boo boos away. Hopefully their only doing it out of love and concern but try to set some boundaries with your parents and hope for the best! Just wanted to give you another perspective I know it’s got to be frustrating!

[@danielelam5513]

Yeah. Where are you? Where is this beautiful woman at?

[@doublerainbowtesseract7569]

These are all great! Another important thing to note, I think, is that sometimes you just gotta be yourself while putting yourself out there and trying to engage, and wait to see what kind of relationships strike up; particularly if you desire more deeply engaging relationships for your psyche. Also, it's important to remember that you can be friends with people on a not-such-a-deep-way-but-still-genuine level, and it still be incredibly valuable and true, for the both of you.

[@1Eilatan]

This video came just as I've started making friends as an adult, so thanks for all the advice on having patience of myself! :D

[@psychedelicfeline6164]

I am disabled, so just getting out of the house is difficult. Any tips for making friends as an adult when you live with chronic pain, disabilities, or other circumstances where planning in advance or just going place is difficult on a good day? Not sure Kati will see this, but if anyone does see this and has tips, I’d love any tips you may have. : )

[@potatochip4605]

This is my sons user I’d so ignore the silly name Try On line fb support groups , and the Mighty . You get to chat with others that have your disability every day . It’s something. Also if you can get a wheelchair or scooter and use uber for disability you can get to the meet ups. I have pots mcas and Eds so I get it

[@Frogger-by1cu]

Problem is I never could make friends

[@purplerose224]

I moved to a new city that is mostly family city and doesn't have that many activities. It was HELL but you learn a lot about yourself when you are alone for longer period of time. I see it as a growing period in which you have to learn how to deal with life. New start is never easy.

[@StandupGirl-ym3ey]

I REALLY like your channel! You really go in depth! I'm currently in therapy and I've learned more in these few hours watching ur videos than I have going the last 4 months!!

[@theunknown6885]

I'm 17, so not an adult but this still helped me. I find it difficult to have friendships because of my social anxiety, aspeergers, and depression. Thank you !! :)

[@karok474]

I am too shy to go to a meetup group. I think it is entering a group of people I don't know. A feeling of maybe not being welcomed.

[@RukayaSmi]

Same , but remember this fear is coming from the idea that you don't think you're good enough to be liked , so like she said we need to work on ourselves first .

[@kittima3218]

Thank you for the great ideas! I do fear leaving my home, so this will be twice as hard..... But I can't handle the loneliness anymore. I just can't. 🐈☮🕉

[@aliyaahakizimana9344]

i totally understand you but the discomfort you are feeling serves a purpose , don't give up and be kind to yourself on this journey !

[@JoRiver11]

I sometimes overshare (a lot) when I'm getting to know someone. Not sure why. I had quite a bit of trauma in my childhood, and suddenly I'll find myself telling a new friend or potential partner way too much about it on the second or third meeting. Maybe it's an "if this is going to make you run, run now" sort of thing. Before I get too attached. Or maybe I just so want someone to love me for all of me that I just jump in with both feet. I'd love some feedback on this if anyone has ideas about it.

[@alexnicoles5575]

I’ve gotten so used to being alone that the idea of having friends actually gives me the creeps. I enjoy being alone so much that I don’t want to meet friends. That said, I know I enjoy hanging out with friends when I do it. But since moving 5 months ago I’ve had no friends (thanks covid) and I have no clue what to do about it now. I’m a huge introvert and I love being alone, but I want to meet people my age and in the same stage of life.

[@sartajahmad1051]

Hi

[@victoriousballa236]

Thank you Katie, can I ask why you use the monarch butterfly at the intro ?

[@krashett4062]

this is rlly an awesome channel!