HOW TO NAVIGATE DARK PERIODS IN YOUR LIFE | LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

[@anatoliypankevych4853]

Hang in there, mate. I’m from Ukraine. My recent years haven’t been easy, to say the least. I’ve lost my very much functioning business, my family is ruined, I barely see my child, I’ve lost many of my friends, comrades. Somehow we need to go on. Keep that thought alive.

[@griffith1225]

You're in my prayers. Always know your worth. Know that your life has meaning. Never forget that

[@lukemiller_6]

Thinking of you mate ❤️🇺🇦

[@villeleppamaki7166]

☀️❤ Blessings for you and your family & comrades. Slava Ukraini!! 🤜🤛

[@Olyfrun]

Well doesn't that out my problems in perspective. Much love to everyone reading 😊

[@mgapagnolo1819]

After losing both of my children, I know the valleys of life. I also know that you can achieve peaks again. People do dip into the deepest valley and can once again thrive at the peaks again, I hope, I can get there as well.

[@AnEnglishGentleman]

To the gentleman that reached out, and Ash by way of reply, know that you will have saved many lives with this video. Somewhere in the world there is a gentleman that was not planning to reach out to anyone, who stumbled across this content, and is here today because of you. There can be no greater endorsement of the video than that. Godspeed, gentlemen.

[@TheChapsGuide]

Thank you sir.

[@LuisBorba]

To the gentleman who wrote to Ash...I want you to know that you are not alone. I hope you feel better. Peaks and valleys.

[@hillogical]

I hit a dark patch several years ago. I thought I couldn't nor shouldn't go on. I went on. Since then, I've come across so many awesome people and cannot imagine leaving them sooner than absolutely necessary. I can't give anyone any advice on how it gets better, all I can say that in my case it did. You are worth your own efforts in finding out for yourself how it can get better for you.

[@johnnyragadoo2414]

I had a rough time at about this gentleman’s age. An old Harley cured me. Even more than mechanical work, creating leather appointments for the bike did the trick. My first efforts were horrible but as I worked my work got better. There is something very healing about working with your hands and raising blisters. All the best to this gentleman. He writes well. Perhaps writing would be an outlet. Or join a woodworking club. All the best.

[@Olyfrun]

10:11 hear hear! That is an awesome set of accomplishments and worthy of respect and admiration- and this chap has mine.

[@thatguy6111]

Took me five years to recover from being zeroed out in a divorce. At the end of my struggle I came to understand that “Only I can steal my sunshine.” I know it gets dark and I know it’s hard but you can get through it. Life is a series of challenges but you can persevere if you believe you can. Sounds cliche I know but I’m still here and so are you if you’re reading this. You can do this.

[@brianmccord7387]

My divorce was finalized in January 2020 and I remember talking to my friends and saying I was just going to get out and socialize and try to build up an independent life. And then the entire world locked down thanks to COVID-19. It was an absolutely tough time and I am grateful to my small circle of friends for helping me to get through it.

[@thatguy6111]

@ A group of two good friends who I could open up with saved me. And I in turn helped save them, one of them literally so. The most humbling moment of my life was hearing him tell his son that without my help he would not be here today. That’s a moment I’d rather not repeat but I’d put in that work again if called upon.

[@w.adammandelbaum1805]

As a retired divorce attorney from NY who specialized in men's rights, my advice is to realize that divorce is a LEGAL procedure and does not define you. It is a state sanctioned method of ending another legal procedure...marriage.

[@lionsden3437]

This chap sounds like a sir and a gentleman. In addition to everything Ash mentioned, I would also highlight the power of prayer. I know this is not a religious channel, but moments like these are when you may need your faith the most.

[@MoosePolo]

Why? It’s not like faith answers your problems

[@simonhodgetts6530]

Praying, being grateful and ‘talking to God’ is always a help to me - I tend to do this daily…….

[@lionsden3437]

@@simonhodgetts6530 I do likewise, and this practice over the years has brought me tremendous results.

[@Ralph-l7h]

A few years ago I felt trapped in my life and there was no way out I thought. I surrenderd. Than I suffered by a stroke at the age of 48. After this shock I found my way back to life by leaving my comfort-zone. Looks like I needed that brutal kick to turn my life around. Hope this chap finds his way to happiness before he is forced the hard way… I feel you mate!

[@matthewseawell1667]

One of your best, sir. Even though I’m not in the same place as this gentleman, I can still take much of what you said to heart and benefit from it as I face my own headwinds in life. God bless this anonymous gentleman!

[@paultabby9041]

Well said sir,sound advice.I personally have struggled as my beautiful wife was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis a number of years ago.I fell into deep depression but I knew I had to be strong for her.I have come to learn that you must make time for yourself in the day.Of course it isn't easy caring for her and holding down a full time job, but you can't be your best if you don't take some time for yourself.

[@airborne652]

When you’re going through hell keep on going. Easy for me to say but it will get better I promise. You’ve taken the first step by acknowledging your struggles and speaking out. Stay strong my friend.

[@chadlaughlin-vr7yf]

Another great video Ash! In the event this particular gentleman who inspired this video is looking through the comments. I cannot speak as a trained expert, though my better half is a PhD psychologist, and we both agree that seeking out the right counselor can absolutely be one of the best value propositions many people (even strong, stoic men) ever profit from. Absolutely no shame in reaching out to a professional who can help you get back that spark for life again. The weight of the world is brutal, but lifting it up again is one of the greatest achievements anyone can accomplish.

[@bigbadbith8422]

Your finest article. You may have just saved this young man’s life. ❤

[@EcstaticTemporality]

Thank you, Ash, for more great content. I appreciate you tackle and elucidate all things for gentlemen: attire, manners, discipline, well-being, health, and fortitude. You approach these topics in an authentic, sagacious, and perspicacious way.

[@frankpaterson9786]

I feel the writer is like I was in my mid-thirties. Sole income, wife and two kids working all hours to keep house and home together mortgaged up to the neck and feeling like the dark tunnel will be for ever. What helped me was I managed to make sure I always had some "me time". I found cycling was brilliant for this, fresh air, exercise and I could think stuff over and clear my head of stuff. Obviously this didn't magic issues away but it did keep me sane. I wish this gentleman all the best and hope my little input may have helped in a small way.

[@charliebrown2359]

What an impressive gift of perspective. Bravo!

[@bushtukkaphil]

Probably one of the most important posts Ash. Getting behind the 'gloss' is vital in creating the man. What's inside reflects outwards. Thank you for addressing this vital issue within many men.

[@ronaldpoppe3774]

Great advice Ash. Everyone has trying times and sometimes there doesn't seem to have an end. These tend to make you stronger. All things will pass. Communication is key. Seek help wear ever you can. Family needs to know how overwhelming the situation really is.

[@samuelnewitt6978]

Been there, from being curled up in a ball completely frozen and unable to function, the only way is up. Set rules, set boundaries, treat every day as a fresh start, and remember who you are and your values. Most importantly, be kind and forgiving to yourself, and accept help where it's offered. When you are used to being there for everyone else, that's not easy, but it's ok to need help. Good luck my friend

[@sevenseas7168]

Well said Ash.! Small baby steps work wonders here... take pride in those small daily 'Victories' which contribute to positive reinforcement over those days and weeks ahead... rest assured the tide will turn and you will come out of this both physically and mentally stronger..!!!

[@EDCandCOMMSJunky]

Wow, I can totally relate to what he was saying. Scary to think so many out there feel and cope this way.

[@Civera89]

My best friend took his life almost 4 years ago. He suffered silently and never reached out. I miss him every day.

[@guitarplayer5611]

Excellent advice!

[@roccotarulli2464]

May God give you strength and peace

[@LogicalNimbus]

I hated writing things down, but here is a quick two step method that worked for me in my mid 30s when I was in a dark place - and it’s a little different. Step 1 - find gratitude… fast. I grabbed a book called “Fault in our Stars”. Stupid teen book, but I needed to break myself down to nothing. That book broke me for even thinking poor thoughts. Step 2 - read the Secret. Sounds horrible. But once I found my gratitude. I rebuilt myself through my power of thought. This forever changed my DNA in life. Find myself in a hard place again. Had to go retune my thoughts with the Secret and forcing night time reads. It works. Good luck! I’m routing for you.

[@thatguy6111]

@@LogicalNimbus Gratitude is an untapped wealth of strength. It helps you get out of “camp victim” as I call it. It’s easy to stay there and grump about life being unfair. Gratitude helps you focus on the positives and check yourself out of victim status, which is a way of taking control of how you see life. I go by the mantra that “Only I can steal my sunshine,” it’s a way of saying I have no control of others actions towards me but complete control on how I respond to it. It’s not about being emotionless and all about deciding if a negative response that ruins my day is really warranted. Some actions are despicable and warrant a swift righteously angry response, but they are so few in occurrence in real life. Well done sir on your path to happiness.

[@LogicalNimbus]

@@thatguy6111 Thank you! And very well said! We all need to help (as men) each other. Nothing weak about communication in my mind; however, it is so scary to do no matter how tough we may all actually are.

[@heavyearly9924]

Hi Ash, I've been very much a fan of your work for several years now and this video is certainly my favourite. Everything else pales in comparison to health and well being.

[@MJ_Solo]

This is brilliant Ash, I really appreciate your wisdom and thoughtfulness in all topics. You appeal to all walks of life.

[@TheChapsGuide]

I appreciate that!

[@griffith1225]

The gentleman will be in my prayers

[@anoldslowhorse]

Sending positive thoughts and energy to your viewer …

[@蔵屋-t7v]

To you who wrote the letter to Ash. First of all, I commend you for your courage in opening up about these difficult things. Ten years ago, I suffered from severe panic attacks due to the pressure of work and was afraid to go out, take a shower, or even sleep. I did the same thing that Ash said, and now I've recovered, although not as well as before. I gave up on having my own family, but you have already achieved it, so I respect you as a very brave and responsible man. I am Japanese living in Japan, but I consider you a companion who has faced difficult events in life, so please remember that you are not alone. I hope peace returns to your heart. (I'm sorry if there are any mistakes in my English.

[@TheChapsGuide]

Thank you for your heartfelt comments sir.

[@philparkinson462]

Very eloquently expressed Ash. I'd also recommend keeping a journal; it helps make the internal external. Reading things in black and white helps. Always question the validity of your negative thoughts; how true are they actually when you factor in the positivity which may seem lost at times? When you feel able maybe concentrate on those negative thoughts and balance them with what's positive in your life, like family, especially children? If you can take a designated short window of time to consider such, it's less likely that such thoughts will reappear subconsciously. In essence you're processing your emotions on a more managed level. I wish you all the best sir.

[@legopadawanlearner8390]

Super prescient advice and discussion. Thank you!

[@TheChapsGuide]

Glad it was helpful!

[@admtech69]

I’ve been there. I don’t mean to sound overly sentimental, but things will get better. Find a trusted friend who will genuinely listen-sharing your struggles can lighten the load.

[@munja2111]

I can relate with this gentelman 100%. Thank you Ash, just needed this words of wisdom.

[@TheChapsGuide]

Glad it was helpful!

[@S.W.Best-Author]

This video is GOLD. I agree on everything you said. 😎

[@corporatemcmahon2815]

The best gentleman!

[@londonztoa6359]

A difficult subject that affects us all. Great advice Ash. Hopefully this gent is feeling a bit better. Tough when you’re depressed, but any exercise will help.

[@mikeevers9079]

I admire anyone who is willing to put balls on the line and admit to emotional fragility. Like Nietzsche said, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Life will always throw shit at you, sometimes you just need to just think about your armour.

[@joanjo8465]

Great tips. The human mind defines a person's well-being. Therefore, managing it correctly is the key. Great tips like these, as well as achieving a healthy distance from thoughts that are mechanical and based only on memory, are the way to go... A great video.

[@wayneford1981]

Not an easy subject to deal with.As Ash says we all go through peaks and troughs and depression is something many of us have to deal with during our lives.Indeed for me it is something I accept that lives within me and can surface at anytime ,often for no apparent reason.I find exercise is a great help in battling low moods also channelling that negativity into something creative (I am a musician)can turn it into something positive.The thing I have learned with my depression is that it is never forever.I know that at some point it will pass and because of that knowledge I know it will never defeat me.I hope the young man in question finds the tools to overcome his situation and I am sure he will take much positivity from your video Ash.

[@welshhibby]

What an excellent video and great advice Ash 👏🏻

[@TheChapsGuide]

Glad you liked it!

[@thusumrandumguy9910]

Thanks ash

[@m.bowyer5045]

Living in quiet desperation,a lot of people do.......goodwork Ash.

[@MrSteve_Luddite.]

The thing is, January and February are usually cold, dark, damp and miserable which is bound to affect our moods. Once I start seeing that big bright warm thing in the sky again, I start to cheer up.

[@darkphotographer]

as i watch my friends starting family , after few year i could start to see the darkness and problem that brings , when you get at the point you realize that you are one small problem away from everything falling down ,

[@mikeevers9079]

Amazing and vital vid, Ash X

[@TheChapsGuide]

Cheers Mike.

[@AB-lh7tt]

Day at a time my friend💪

[@alexandrewoelfle6028]

Lovely jacket Sir, would you mind telling me the name of this model? Thank you!

[@TheChapsGuide]

Barbour Beaufort

[@griffith1225]

He might bring his kids into certain tasks. Kids like the feeling of helping out. That way the load isn't as heavy.

[@Olyfrun]

Hopefully, dear friend, you will be rereading this at the end of the year and reflecting that you are in a better place. Change is possible.

[@shortvideolive666]

Watching from Dhaka Bangladesh 🇧🇩

[@TruTube.1.]

This is where ASH's Constable expertise kicks off.

[@johnteill_]

What's the name of that jazz song on your intro....I'd love to play that on a loop on a chilly Saturday night while at home with a coffee, a few pieces of fine chocolate, a good book, and then an old black & white detective movie before I pass out 😊

[@brianmccord7387]

It’s called “a walk through the park” by tracktribe. It’s royalty free music that can be used with any KZbin videos.

[@pauljames2017]

It's in the video description: Tracktribe: Walk through the park

[@johnteill_]

​@@pauljames2017 Wonderful

[@brianmccord7387]

I imagine that the writer is in a situation where it is expected that his household would include parents and in-laws. It sounds like he has already tried to address the difficulty of his situation with his family members, and that this has resulted in arguments and some degree of resentment. I would absolutely second something that Ash said, that there are probably other people in the larger community who have to do the same thing and that the writer should definitely talk to them and ask them how they deal with this situation. They may very well appreciate the opportunity to talk about these issues because it may be a cultural expectation that one simply shoulders this burden and does not talk about it. If they have the opportunity to discreetly discuss it amongst like-minded people it would probably allow everyone to share the burden.

[@tear728]

Is that a Barbour jacket? I think I saw the same one in Succession

[@TheChapsGuide]

Barbour Beaufort

[@MexieMex]

I'm a professional hypnotherapist, I have from the start of the business worked time in to my schedule for pro bono work. Ash, you already have my contact details, please do feel free to pass them on to the person who this was from. I'll put aside some time just for them. If the happen to be in the Southwest of the UK, I can meet face to face, otherwise I can work virtually over the internet.

[@TheChapsGuide]

Thank you sir. I'll pass it along

[@MexieMex]

@@TheChapsGuide Please do, and also to anybody else in serious need you feel it would help.

[@licgerardoarellano9921]

Esforzaos todos vosotros los que esperáis en Jehová, Y tome aliento vuestro corazón. Salmo 31:24

[@real_fjcalabrese]

Been there. As a youngster, I experienced far too much trauma. My ex made my life my life awful. After I got out of that relationship, I became my mother's caregiver. My mother died last year. NOTE: I was fired the day before my mother was admitted to at home hospice. Therapy helped. Even in the US there are resources. Journaling has been helpful. Please, take the boot off your neck.

[@spsmith1965]

It is not uncommon for thirty something year old men to be the backbone of the family. Life has ups and downs. To everything there is a season. Nothing lasts forever. You will get through this. I would advise going on hikes in the woods by yourself. It does not take much money. Get a simple backpack, a couple of 1 liter bottled water bottles, some decent shoes. I find nature very restorative. Hikes also provide exercise. Exercise is very important for mental and physical well-being. You have to make time for yourself. Best of luck to you.

[@Rogsie-p6l]

When I was at my lowest depression in my twenties I had no one. I walked in the woods daily and the trees were my only friends. Hang on, because it does pass.

[@lynn5447]

I would suggest that this person must get counseling. Especially with occasional suicidal ideation. Sources? Some communities have free counseling. A support group can be invaluable - a men's group perhaps or something more specific. Maybe kicking out the in-laws and reducing your burden down to your partner and children.

[@brianmccord7387]

I was tempted to say something similar, but if I had to guess, this person comes from an ethnic or cultural background where it is expected that the household would include the parents and in-laws.

[@ricardorgomez]

@@brianmccord7387 I got a feeling the man has no spine. Okay, sure, the parents and in-laws can move-in. But they can't be penniless. If they are, they have to have a job. The parents are probably in their mid to late-50's. They can get a job. Even a part-time, minimum wage job will easily pay for their portion of living expenses in the house. But they don't want to work. That's obvious. And the wife isn't working either. So that's 5 - 7 people in their home basically watching tv and eating all day. Lay down the terms. If they don't agree, leave them to fend for themselves. Child support and divorce will be much less expensive than his current situation.... But it won't happen because he has no spine... I've seen this all too often.

[@MikeB071]

It sounds like this guy's partner is part of the problem. Doesn't seem to contribute anything and just helps to drag him down. Might be time to reassess that whole relationship.

[@mikesmith6543]

I was thinking the same too. The partner doesn't sound reassuring.

[@annettemurphy8349]

Prayer. Spirituality. Calms and heals.

[@bertoldriesenteil1430]

Nice welsh accent.

[@OmadRetentionSuperSoldier]

Remove the in-laws.

[@MaryRespecter]

Trust God. Christ is King

[@jerrycooper1428]

KJV Bible doesn't go a miss either. Food for thought.

[@TheChapsGuide]

If that's your bag!

[@jerrycooper1428]

@TheChapsGuide It is our foundation and who we are.

[@KevinColwill-k2r]

Depression manifests itself in different ways with different people. I have had times when almost overwhelmed by a sense of worthlessness. I saw no merit in my achievements and reflected only on what I had not achieved. I would consider the only reasonable analysis to conclude the world would be no worse for me leaving it. As silly as it may seem I found some solace in the old British virtue of gallows humour and refusing to take myself and my situation too seriously. That is not to belittle your difficulties. It's just I found having the ability to inwardly laugh at the absurdity of life was sometimes my only relief.