How to Overcome Your Past to Achieve Greatness (with Lewis Howes)

On today’s show, we sit down with Lewis Howes, a world-record-holding athlete and host of The School of Greatness podcast, to talk about his impactful story and what he’s come to believe greatness is all about.
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[@user-ei8rb7sj6c]

Lewis Thank you so much for sharing your abuse story. Today is Mothers Day. My son was abused at age 6 by a male after school day care worker. The day care was in a church across the street from his school, just 2 blocks from our home. We thought it was the safest place he could be. He loved & trusted his “teacher” (as my son called him). Long story short, after it was discovered, his abuser went to prison. Our son saw a counselor 4 times. After that, she said she thought he had processed it and since he was so young, he should be able to put it behind him and be fine. He wasn’t. He took his first drink at age 12, and thus began his descent into alcoholism. On the outside, he seemed to be happy. He loved and was good at sports, was smart and did well academically, was handsome and dated beautiful girls. He went to rehab at age 21 but soon after, continued to drink. He married at 27 & they adopted a child, but he continued to drink. The marriage began falling apart after 7 years. He went to rehab in hopes of saving his marriage. It didn’t. His drinking continued. We begged him to go to counseling and/or AA, but he refused. At age 39, one year after his dad passed away, he was diagnosed with end stage liver disease. After 4 long years of physical pain & suffering, he passed away at age 43. It was horrible. I grieve not only his passing, but also the many years he struggled to “feel normal” by numbing out with alcohol. I hope others who hear and identify with your story will reach out for the help and support they need. May God continue to bless you and the work you do to help others. And may my son rest in peace. 😥❤️‍🩹

[@karenmooberry6719]

Yay two of my favorites together! OMG best interview EVER!!!!!!

[@kristenmira886]

You men are good peeps, thank you for being such great examples of not being perfect, but being willing to humbly overcome hard things to walk in the kind of greatness that really counts--in service to others!

[@brennanleyen]

Why aren’t there more likes on this video?!?! Great talk. Love you both. Keep up the manly vulnerability and openness for change. Keep serving gallantly. ❤

[@brumleygapdesigns1539]

As a listener of the School of Greatness and of the Dr John Deloney show I was really excited to hear this interview! Loved it!

[@Pault3788]

Childhood trauma created a loner in me,too many years passed since then,I'm still a loner in my sixties and have no goals and pursued nothing. Now, with many physical issues it's too late,Seek help if you struggle or you will REGRET it like I do

[@Candypack1]

It’s never too late

[@Pault3788]

@@Candypack1 in my case it is

[@alisonf6478]

It is indeed never too late. People live until their 90’s. Could be 25+ years of awesome!

[@Pault3788]

@@alisonf6478 I'd rather not in the pain I'm in

[@lukasbryant9881]

​@@Pault3788 as you let go of the stresses, they will no longer be building up the toxins that are causing health problems. Granted you might not be completely healed, but I'd think your body would finally be able to start to heal after your heart has been freed from the source of the toxins. There is hope. You might not feel it right now, but it exists. I know what it feels like to give up hope. But it can come back. You have fight for it, but there can still be hope. Find people who will patiently support you and be with you in this journey.

[@Nah-ah]

This was such a wholesome interview, you’re just like brothers! I think being of service does make you feel enough that you feel you don’t have to be fighting against the current to get anywhere in life… but that realization comes with growth however that may happen to the individual. Thank you Dr JD for bring Lewis Howes on! Been a fan of his for almost 6 yrs and it was great seeing him on your show 🙏🏽

[@starlingswallow]

This keeps popping up in my recommended. I kept scrolling by and then decided to watch. 😂

[@alanaedwards8117]

Spending each day being in service to your mission. I didn't even realize I needed to hear that until Lewis said it. That resonates on many levels for me. ❤ Thank you for a great conversation.

[@carolannstevens5814]

This is so powerful!!! I had secrets of abuse… thank you I want this freedom!!!

[@jcszot]

What a great match! This was fantastic. Thank you! 🙏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🥰

[@olgasuner999]

Thank you for being so vulnerable and open with public. When I first began my career I had the privilege to attend men’s group while seating in the circle of men I have heard their heart wrenching stories, it was a men’s support group. I walked out from that meeting thinking men are thought to be tough, no tears but I saw a different sides of men the side that was vulnerable, depressed, filled with grief and sorrow etc.. I know there is limited resources for men it would be nice see more of this type of resources because many men suffer in silence.

[@thesunandthemoon1]

What an excellent interview! Loved seeing Lewis and Dr. D together. This was an incredible interview and I learned so much. Lewis, you are a brave and incredible force of goodness in the world. I am so proud of you having the courage to share your trauma with the world!!

[@5thdimensionliving727]

Such a helpful podcast ❤ Lewis, you are the greatest 🙏🙏 thank you for being so open about your challenges - you inspire me to be greater each day.. one key insight you said was about it being in a ‘season’ of something and to be ok with it..been in a relationship for the last 15 months which I’m reviewing atm..it may be ok but it might end..either way I’m ok with it 👍🙏

[@starlightdreamer1999]

Love both of you . Great men full of wisdom and truth 🙂

[@cecilliachi]

Soo cool to see people I already follow talking with each other on the same podcast!✨. I got the chance to go to his Summit of Greatness once. So incredible and fun!!!!

[@bridgetjanosek1061]

Wow, thank you both for this episode and the vulnerability. This is probably my favorite episode this far. Great work guys. ❤❤

[@towpottsfam7631]

Lewis is so gorgeous in so many ways! 😍

[@lailasalli8743]

❤❤❤❤ love you both!! Great talk!!

[@starblazers01]

Thank you for your courage! 🙏

[@Hlaford2009]

Did this exercise with a 5y.o. you and an adult version of you. Helped a lot. One of the most powerful techniques you can image to heal your ACE wounds.

[@RealThunderberg]

WOW WHAT A TREAT my favorite online psych professional sitting down with one of my favorite online self-improvement personalities (whose latest book I just recently purchased and started reading) DOES IT GET ANY BETTER??!!!

[@DebbyZ76]

YES YES YES!! I was wondering when you both would talk.

[@livingbeings]

Thank you both

[@upasanaveturi4060]

What a brilliant episode 👏

[@roseducharme3836]

Good Monday morning!!

[@vanessainsan]

Whatt is this like a dream come true!!

[@nancyregina6790]

God Bless You Both!

[@isabelmendez2601]

An incredible story of healing! Listening from Chicago.

[@lvnobro4632]

I don't know. I think you can deal with terrible situations without sharing them or keeping them secret and still have a good life.

[@lukasbryant9881]

A good life while being utterly alone in the deepest parts of you? Good luck, I guess. But I'd sooner hope you'd learn how to let people love you in the areas you need love the most.

[@lvnobro4632]

@@lukasbryant9881 I refuse to believe that people who have terrible childhoods can't have a happy adulthood unless they share it with everyone. Resiliency is a thing and a lot of people have it. I believe in therapy. I see the benefit of it but I don't think having a crappy childhood experience automatically makes you incapable of experiencing loving relationships as an adult. Sometimes you can figure out how to out the pieces back together without burdening everyone in your life with your woes. Everyone wants to share their traumatic experiences to unburden themselves but then never consider what weight they may be handing over to another who can't handle it or doesn't want to carry it for you.

[@TheEquiss]

I agree with you. I learned along time ago not to rely on anyone but myself. I’ve dealt with some horrible stuff and no one cared. I dealt with it myself and am successful and happy.

[@lvnobro4632]

@@TheEquiss I'm sorry you felt like no one cared. I think a lot of people just don't know how to handle it. I think if we had more self reflection and conversations with ourselves we can eventually get what we want in life. Some people need help and I get that but I also believe we're capable of doing great things on our own.

[@lukasbryant9881]

@@lvnobro4632 Ah. I see you've misinterpreted my comment. I didn't say anything about happy. I talked about "good" and "love". I'm sure you're right about being able to be happy in adulthood. I also do not mean that everyone has to tell everyone, or even just someone, about all of what difficulties they faced. Now days there are many who live in victimhood. I'm sure that many don't really want to be there, but they don't know how to get out. Though some do want to be there and remain. They talk about themselves to others often, but it doesn't help. What I was talking about is "good". My standard for "good" is so high, that "happy" alone is not sufficient. It takes far much more than "happy" to experience the deep and fulfilling satisfaction that internalized love gives. To be able to, in detail, name the insecurities that you fear most, disclose them to a chosen person and for them to not reject you, but to love you in spite of your shortcomings, while not ignoring the shortcomings and all the while keeping you accountable, encouraging and supporting you to be the best you can be. But it's more than that. It's to actually accept it. To live out from the security and freedom that it provides. The external relationship is necessary in order for us to receive love. But this is also an internal relationship issue, because we have to actually accept the love from another and what it means for us. This is for those who lost their sense of value, worth and/or lovability. If you didn't experience the stripping down and castration of your worth as a person, then I hope we can all rejoice that you didn't have to go through that. But for some, we did go through that. We've been dead, even though we are alive. And for those who have hung on and haven't given up quite yet, I think there is a hope, even if small and out of focus on the back of the mind, that we can experience life to the full in a world full of adventure and not just survive in a world where slavers and mutilators roam, looking for who they can catch next. I said "good life", but I suppose I should have said "great life". There is a quote I've heard. "The biggest enemy of the great life is the good life". The goal is to experience the fullness of life, not just settle for ok(though many would probably happily settle for ok). Not that life will be "perfect", but that we can fully engage and appreciate life, even in the down times. To be free from the slavery of the messages telling us we aren't worth it. The messages we to to out work, out earn, out love, etc. But we can never escape until we accept the message that we are worth it. For those of us who are believing Christians, that is what God has provided for us through Jesus' life, death and resurrection. Jesus said that he came that we may have life to the full. And the good news is that offer of never wavering intimate love and forgiveness for our mistakes and imperfections is free for the taking. We only need to accept.

[@sheriwhitley8195]

I enjoyed that so much

[@tomnohmy1273]

2 x cool, inspiring guys, even more than me, just kidding, they're inspiring

[@dwaynestyles642]

Let’s gooo

[@victoriacampbell7651]

What happens when someone serves others to the point where they lose themselves because- aren't we suppose to love others no matter what they did/do?

[@charlestolley2294]

Dr. John, you are one of my favorite people! I recently listened to "Own Your Past, Change Your Future", and I thought it was really helpful. It made me think a lot about why I have some of the struggles I have

[@mirabella2154]

Oh, cool. Looking forward to this.

[@cathyosullivan718]

It’s horrible how anyone can abuse-especially sexually abuse a child.

[@susannefitzpatrick9955]

I wish interviewers would explain exactly WHO their guest is. People outside the US have no idea of who Lewis Howes is, nor what sport he did, nor how successful (or otherwise) he is/was. SO frustrating!

[@EricMoore-ze2rf]

My past has many fast food bags...

[@Hunter2847]

8:45. If I could teach the whole wide world to be a thug in harmony harmony then I would teach the whole wide world to be a thugsta just liiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkeee meeeeee

[@foggycraw6758]

9:08 LMFAO straight out of a comedy. They look like foils of each other, Dr Delony seems sinister and edgy while Howes appears warm and straightforward.

[@user-kp6we9qw7i]

This is great!!

[@tomnohmy1273]

I penned quite a few best sellers and never mention it.

[@Candypack1]

You just did

[@tomnohmy1273]

@@Candypack1 I've never written a book, lol

[@Candypack1]

Lies

[@Candypack1]

Lies

[@Candypack1]

Lies

[@jefferymiller30]

I don’t know about the content (I bet it’s good too) but damn,,, both these guys are hot af

[@Hlaford2009]

Did this exercise with a 5y.o. you and an adult version of you. Helped a lot. One of the most powerful techniques you can image to heal your ACE wounds.