How to Stop Worrying About the Future

When we don't know for sure how something is going to turn out, we often expect the worst and then worry about that bad thing happening. Sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesn't. Why do we so often expect the worst, when it's also possible things could turn out fine - or even great? When this happens it's the Cognitive Distortion of Fortune Telling - and here I teach you why our brains do this, and what to train them to do instead.
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[@athab8256]

Another really interesting video. "You either win or you learn" is a valuable thought that everyone needs!! BTW, style choice of black and white videos is elegant and outstanding.

[@lesliengo8347]

I love that phrase, it makes me more willing to try new things. In design, simplicity can be more useful than fancy graphics because it is straightforward and easy on the eyes

[@athab8256]

@@lesliengo8347 I think you're right on both counts!

[@patriciaburgess6342]

I used to be quite anxious and worry a lot but I now have peace. When something bad and unexpected happens God always, without exception, blesses me. He does not cause bad to happen. We liven in a fallen world. If I trust God He provides blessings. Example - My house was damaged by a category 4 cyclone in 2017 in the Whitsundays (northern Queensland Australia). My 1st cyclone. Really severe lasting for 3 days which is a very long time for a cyclone. I never lost my faith. I got a substantial insurance payout and used the money for another reno unrelated to cyclone damage. If I had not received the payout I could not have afforded the reno. Because of the payout, I was able to sell my property for a far higher price. God always provides. Since receiving that revelation I have peace. I hope you have peace. It can only come from God through Jesus.

[@MC-yn1gm]

I have been guilty of 'Fortune telling' in the past. It's a hard habit to break. I have just bought your book. Looking forward to reading it. Keep up the great work. 😊

[@curtpriestley2107]

Just found this and I'm in a place where watching this brought me to tears. Its time. I'm buying that book.

[@lesliengo8347]

I love the "it's either you win, or you learn." I want to use that as a "lense" to live my life in.

[@TheImperatorKnight]

Yep, I'm 100% guilty of this. It's difficult because logically it could be true - the expectation could become reality, and sometimes it does become reality. But often it doesn't and you've wasted time and energy being worried over nothing. Just purchased your book, thank you for all that you do 👍

[@klynn549]

I know why I do this!!!! Because I have had so much bad things happen that when I do that I'm not disappointed when it happens. Then when it's good great! I'm going to change this so not beneficial for me. I like your way better 😅 my programing is so wrong.

[@joannepigliavento7930]

This is me when anticipating medical appointments. I get so much out of your videos. Thanks so much! 😊

[@ymoy8635]

I love this thought "You either win or you learn" there is no failure. Julia this is so true, so right 👏 I love hearing your KZbin, it's so practical and inspiring 💙

[@LadyKimberley.]

I have struggled with this for so long that thinking positively feels foreign. I would love to finally turn that around.

[@kekojones8431]

I love the way you dive into your videos right away

[@susancunningham60]

Very powerful video. I have been doing this my entire life. Got you book a few days ago and love it so far. So glad I found your channel!

[@books-and-cats]

Beautifully put! Thank you ❤

[@duaneanderson9238]

I bought your book on all three platforms. Audible, Kindle, and Amazon ( physical book). That’s just how I absorb the material. I can’t wait to listen and read it.

[@mamabear5488]

Perfect video! We needed to hear this!

[@chrisdigitalartist]

Hi Julia! Shifter here! Wow. Yet another timely video! You know me of course. You knew I needed this! lol I took some notes on this: Cognitive distorted thought - Fortune telling Two options (It could fail, or it could go well) When we assume something is going to go terrible, it can be self-sabotage. (Self-fulfilling prophesy) Fear can motivate action, but it can feel anxious and stressful. Make your action fun. Do the best you can. Might as well entertain the idea that it could go well. You may not get the desirable outcome, but at least in the process we can feel better. When we go though life with the attitude that we can fall or fail, we can keep going. What can we learn from this? Think about your skills and what are you good at and what needs more development. Why not assume that something can go well and that is a possibility. If it doesn't go the way I want, I can learn from it. "No such thing as failure. You either win or you learn." What if I assume I could have better? How would I live, feel and love differently? Have hope. Hope spurs positive action. And to those it applies to, HAPPY ST.PATRICK'S DAY! 🍀

[@kirstenvzumba9246]

Great summary Chris!!!

[@chrisdigitalartist]

@@kirstenvzumba9246 Thank you! I am glad that helps!

[@floalejandroguillermoorego4824]

Real good one! Thank You Julia!!!

[@pamelabarrell3153]

Omg right on time! Rather than thinking I may just succeed !! it’s always negative!!! Thank you once again !! 💚

[@al10987]

Good morning Julia. This was kind of a tough listen to because I could definitely see parts of me within what you were saying. So I actually listen to it and it’s entirety twice! There’s actually so much to say but for now this will have to do. Thanks for your knowledge and wisdom and time I appreciate your style and look forward to more of these videos. Peace ~

[@NFSMAN50]

You're a mind reader Julia lol. How did you know I was going through this haha. Happy Thursday my friend, I appreciate you. I will try to not worry about the future soo much.

[@deborahcruthers2636]

This is so hard for me. I feel like I can see things happening and then worry when the other shoes is going to drop.

[@ErinLAnderson]

Finally ordered your book on Amazon! I am not a reader but YOUR KZbin videos have been incredibly valuable to me in 2022 that I want to support your work. As a marketer, we know more Amazon orders and reviews will increase the reach. And I am going to read your book so I can share it with my reader friends because I know it will change lives. (Wait there is more to this ridiculously long comment.) In addition, I have played your videos for 2 family members and I know they got value because they listened and we discussed your messages. And (yes, more) I catch myself saying, "Julia would say, I only control my actions, thoughts and emotions." Not others. #powerful Thank you for beneficial life lessons and wisdom! #grateful

[@alison5009]

I also liked the “You win or you learn.” I also use the fortune telling thought distortion. I think it’s a way to soften the blow when things don’t work out? But, yes, why automatically think it will go wrong and use a negative mindset? I’m working so hard on this and other automatic negative thoughts in therapy. The idea that I can possibly work through a problem or issue doesn’t occur to me some days. I don’t think or realize I have the mental strength to do so. I requested that your book be available in our online library, and they got it! : D reading now!

[@mariannesabato8240]

Enjoyed your book on Audible. Felt it was helpful to me in a number of ways

[@robertduran3842]

"Felicitous"...the word of the day. Julia your talks are so well suited for the needed moments of the day. Love me some Julia. You make my heart smile. An I need that. I try to apply your educational teachings throughout my days. Whether I win or fail... I still learn. You are so awesome at what you do. May you an yours stay blessed as well as your Shifters an Heart Centered Go Getters. I Thank you.

[@CHEFDINO2012]

Thank you 😊

[@emhartung]

Its almost like we are forecasting a negative outcome sometimes. We need to be "ok" with any outcome so that the threat of the catastrophic result/outcome does not "throttle us". Scary and hard.

[@TheGoofygirl67]

Thank you so much for this. Xx

[@will_Iam61]

Definitely a paradigm shift from how I was brought up. But, then my views were shaped by a Narcissistic father, so the idea of preparing for the worst isn't the best strategy, but rather preparing for the best possible outcome and expecting a positive outcome can move you away from self-defeating attitudes. I love your idea of no such thing as failure, but rather Success and Learning. I will look for your book, since I am interested in how you can help me to change how I think about myself and my life. Thank you.

[@timothystone7104]

Very inspiring,I can respect the levels of emotion in the segment,I’ll dm the rest.

[@MariaSantos-gm7ps]

Thanks

[@CrAZychicke]

Thank you for this reminder! I have to stay in the present and not worry about what might be in the future. I just try to take one day at the time and set flexible goals.

[@aliahmedyacin721]

Many thanks to you

[@seanlowe4557]

5 star review from me Glad you read the book to us.

[@civilheart5355]

Hi Julia Thanks a lot for this. I am a single Iranian woman in my late 30s. I have recently been through lots of "learning" rather than "winning" on so many different levels: my father passed in the pandemic. My friend with whom I was working on a project, called me names and betrayed me in the end. I got my certificate to get a prestigious job at a company and they tried to abuse my cert, and now I'm sure you have heard about the uprising in my country. Honestly, I felt so blue for a while that I couldn't put myself together. Now I am trying to fulfill my dream if having a language teaching website, but the news so often get me down. Is it self-sabotage or the situation I am in or both or more? I am really trying to understand and do my best, as always. Even though I feel down, I still wake up some days with the hope that it will come to a good end. And your speech is always invigorating. I hope I can find a way. Thanks a million.

[@jenne2248]

I wish you all the best. I pray for you that achieve whatever you want.

[@tenacious1]

Boy! This was right on time! I just randomly clicked on this one not thinking it was fitting for me. Turns out... Lol I was fortune telling and I have a history of self sabotaging... I'll be rewatching this one. Thank God for you JK

[@kathyn3875]

Interesting perspective. 👍

[@maryross2859]

You are so great, thank you. Do you have any videos on mental health? In addition to career or relationships? Positive thinking? Gratitude? Acceptance therapy?

[@czr7847]

This is so helpful for managing my mind during these anxious times we live in. I tend to justify my negative fortune telling thoughts by saying "at least I'm prepped for it" but I feel like it robs me of joy and happiness at the current moment. I appreciate the help you provide with your short, straight to the point videos!

[@elin_]

I'm a master at fortune telling and catastrophizing

[@kez6375]

i live with my parents and totally hate it. they had me late and their mentality is so different. do you think i should move out? i feel so depressed and irritated. my siblings are all older and married and they get involved and its always me in the wrong.?

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello Julia Kristina cancelling. just come across your new video after checking for a new video now watching and listening this video definitely relate s to me I'm always thinking about and worry about my future what my future is going to be like what things will happen in my life worry or thinking about our future is something I think everyone thinks about and worrys about nobody know s what there future will be like or what things will happen in your life iv learned that thinking about your future and stressing over it only makes us feel worse thank you for sharing this video Julia ☺️

[@gymnasticlife1788]

Ptsd has caused this for me. Everything has the worst case scenario feeling. Always waiting for the moment it all goes bad. Need to do more work on this

[@sabrinaa4872]

I needed this after getting wrapped up in KZbin conspiracy theories this week 😭

[@lisareid7043]

There is a s no such thing as failure, you either win or learn! Excellent mindset and the truth. The business model of you win or lose the sale was not meant for real life or relationships. But even in business I believe it still applies because that idea of losing a sale I believe is just pressuring for higher sales from workers. So we see ourself as a failure if we don’t produce even more than they ask for. The idea of failure is planted in us from others but we don’t have to believe it! All it does is create extreme competition between people and that’s only good for the CEO of the company. Just my opinion on how people are pitted against each other in this world. Even the idea of keeping up with whatever your neighbors do, even Christmas lights are an extreme competition now! I question if this mentality is really good for people. It makes $, it makes interesting shows, but what is the real cost to people’s lives and relationships who go so deep or obsessive into some things for the competition? Win, lose or learn? It really is our choice isn’t it?

[@lttlod1]

I needed to hear this as I've been doing the fortune telling crap at work! I decided that if I die tomorrow I don't want to be stressed about the future because how pointless would that be haha!

[@fenghualiu7295]

I love this version!Thank you!

[@chas4x4]

absolutely every day

[@captaindan1000]

"Your future is whatever you make it! So make it a good one." From the Back to the future movie trilogy.

[@melyndafrazer1962]

I do struggle with fortune telling , prepare for the worst , holding myself back.

[@seanlowe4557]

Just got the book on audible

[@sabrinaritchie2929]

Hi, my name is Sabrina

[@adriannefluet5980]

Are you able to offer up a homework question for us ppl who like to journal these topics please

[@chrishorbatt3504]

Is it a cognitive distortion even if the things you mentioned always happen?

[@user-gz5mx2nd5p]

I thought it hurt less if you are ready for bad news

[@georgeshumate8174]

If you frown in front of a mirror, you can't expect the mirror to do anything else but frown back. The universe reflects back what you show it. Show it some positivity and it will show it back. That which you are seeking is also seeking you.

[@JaysonT1]

My reason is due to conditioning. When you try for/ask for/reach for something you need or want and it resolves in the undesired result many, many, many times over, you are conditioned to expect it. Had Pavlov punished the dogs instead of feeding them, they would've feared the bell. (I'm not saying this out of self-pity, I'm simply addressing this ussue)

[@emhartung]

That's how things may have been in your past, up to this point..... If you start to believe something different is possible and truly visualize and FEEL differently in your future self... you can re-condition your mental patterns. You CAN change your life. Keep reaching, keep looking for examples of where you want to be.

[@samiakhan6659]

Julia can u read my mind?I am gonna have test for undergrad admission very soon.I am suffering from catastrophic thoughts to such a level it sometimes feel like I will fail in every thing.Even those got me into a major depression.I sometimes feel so bad why I have anxiety and others don't and wonder if I Will be an achiever

[@1TraderJay]

I don't know if you believe in God, but I just want you to know that you are a blessing!

[@GreenAndTheToe]

Please make time stamp

[@RedLP5000S]

My Lord, you are an extremely handsome woman, Julia. 🌹

[@mellissagalgey8879]

41 still single, how do you even stay optimistic about finding that special person when there's alot of frogs out there

[@ashley-pc2cd]

7:34 fear of failure

[@ashley-pc2cd]

8:52 journey

[@ashley-pc2cd]

12:02 assuming things will go bad without knowing for sure

[@ashley-pc2cd]

13:43 feeling terrible

[@paulthomas3841]

How I'm not working, I feel Guilty because I can't work again, body is Damage from acserdes at work years ago,

[@janetpatri8786]

W

[@adriannefluet5980]

How do you not worry about our future with putin I'm scared

[@goofyahhhunter8494]

Same