How to stop your thoughts from ruining your life

[@brandonwhodeyer8531]

My own mind is my worst enemy for myself. Easily, 90% of my emotional pain comes from my thoughts. Taking a look at my expectations usually tells me alot. This video definitely reminded me alot of cbt.

[@kuchenbob2448]

I learned that I should simply not believe myself in certain situations. Sometimes I wake up and am overwhelmed by negative, self sabotaging thoughts. It took me quite some time to be able to say "yeah, this is bs, I am not falling for this".

[@naresh2592]

A timely video, as it is the end of the current year (2024), and really made me personally reset parts of my life for a better 2025. Thank you Kati.

[@Katimorton]

You are so welcome :) I hope it's helpful! xoxo

[@naresh2592]

​@@Katimortonno regrets joining your channel. Once again, thank you for the timing. Hope many others too replay and use this video to refocus and reset in 2025.

[@blondie-1112]

This is practicaly what we learn in CBT. This is a nice overview in a way that is practical.

[@Deeece]

Holy shitake mushrooms, the synchronicity of this video. . . Kati is tuned into society. Thank you so much

[@Katimorton]

xoxox

[@eugenebelcher3]

It's a good day to learn something new

[@desireetman]

I have struggled with overthinking, over analyzing and under feeling for soo long. Growing up with narcissistic and under feeling parents who tell you to suck it up and shove it down really left a major impact on processes related to thoughts and feelings. Many therapy sessions later, I feel like progress is being made because I have started acknowledging the poor treatment I receive from others, live in those feelings then let those people go. The road has been tough but I know I can do and feel like my inner self is healing each day 😊

[@northernnonesuch5572]

YES PLEASE talk about this some more! OMG! I struggle with this so much, and no therapist has EVER brought it up, despite all of them being CBT!

[@eledeog]

Thank you so much for this video! I think I struggle a lot with knowing the difference between thoughts and feelings. I think I could benefit from learning more anout this topic.

[@Katimorton]

Of course! I hope it was helpful :) xoxo

[@felixthecat7577]

I'm from Canada, I have a moderate traumatic brain injury and recently found your channel. Its amazing how you unpack the complicated into smaller steps that you can digest. Thanks Kati

[@felixthecat7577]

Was a little distracted by your other half on the computer behind you lol .

[@nadinesmith8034]

I want to take this opportunity to say thank you for all that you do and share. You give fresh perspectives and where I used to help everyone around me now I feel overwhelmed at the least thing. I now give myself permission to feel and have me time. Its not selfish to put yourself 1st. Just a shame it took being stuck in fright or flight experiencing multiple panic attacks per hour to realise I was exhausted!!!! Your right the body does not lie 😮 Xxxx

[@ingafromiceland78]

My therapist always started our conversations with questions like "how are you today?" or "how have you been the last week?" and I (C-PTSD (emotional neglect) mid 40 woman with AN and a lot of SH issues) severely struggled to answer. I asked her to stop using this phrase as I cannot answer this question. I sincerely do not know how I feel. It's not that I lack the words to describe feelings in general, but I just do not _know_ how I feel. It's all neatly packed away deep down and the only (and not very satisfying) answer I could give her was "I feel ´neutral´." Not particularly happy or sad, not angry or depressed, not stressed or anxious. Just "neutral". Or perhaps better "nothing", "not at all"? Thank you so much for this video. And all your content in general, Kati.

[@SDrareRedhead]

We sound like we struggle with very similar things and I am also in my 40’s! Nice to know I am not on an island by myself!

[@kenrickbautista6141]

Yeah, nearly 29 years of my life, I've always been in conflict with my thoughts and feelings. Which led me to not be in a better state from time to time. It never gets better overnight.

[@DavidSmith-px4ek]

I don't know if you believe in divine appointments, but I do. I don't think it is an accident that I've been led to so many conversations about the effect of our thoughts over the past few days. Thank you Kati!

[@TianaBarker]

I cry all the time because my repeating thoughts hurt my own feelings all the time this video helped me realize certain things but with the emotional shit that’s happened recently makes it hard to recognize those thoughts cause I feel like I’m relieving the pain again I don’t like that

[@raulmartinez-v5p]

beautiful

[@MichaelSkinner-e9j]

I understand the stray thoughts that happen, and usually a lot of that is for safety

[@princesslovewells]

Hi Kati Happy New Year.i look forward to your podcasts. You are amazing. I also like your vids. I learn so much. You make me smile.

[@Katimorton]

Wonderful! Happy New Year to you too :)

[@Akanchwua]

Loving this set up, feels like old style Kati vids❤️

[@johannc2451]

thanks for sharing so important information happy new year you are the best!!!

[@Katimorton]

Thank you! You too!

[@brandonvanlieshout7303]

It has already ruined my life. I started having panic attacks about 30 years ago. Back then doctors just put you on benzos. 15 years later, i became agoraphobic. Having 2 kids and a wife, i was so embarrassed. My wife left me because of my inability to deal with the anxiety. I'm 51 now and still can't deal with it. Thank you for 😅video though. I will put the things you said into effect. Its gotta stop eventually, i hope!

[@StephanieRussell-dl9td]

Thank you ! This is a video, I will revisit. So much great information and practical action in one video.

[@Katimorton]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@bunicata6881]

Excellent explanation. Our teacher tried to explain this in school but I found it so difficult to understand… The way you explained made alot of sense for me. Thank u so much!

[@blu-r7h]

I am a very sensitive person, feelings and senses. I tend to ruminate to manage all the input. As you said, those thoughts will take precedent. Sometimes, within, I feel like there is tension, back and forth real fast, to manage what is going on with my feelings which I tend to not recognize, but my body does. It is exhausting. My brain manages the lenses if I don’t keep myself self aware. I wish I could just let go and simply be.

[@Boutys_mom]

Such a good & timely video. I felt myself holding back my feelings, so will need to re-watch it but will do so with a notepad. Maybe tomorrow. It's a lot. Thank you Kati.

[@Juju-ew4zh]

Thanks for the very relevant information in this video Intellectualising my feelings is what I do all the time And it makes me not feeling my feelings😢

[@stephb3791]

This topic was such an eye opener for me. I experienced one of the biggest traumas of my life this year. It took me and dumped me upside down. The betrayal was so profound that I am just now coming out of the fog and trying to love myself again. This resonated DEEPLY with me. I like to joke that I am a professional over thinker. It's not something I want to joke about anymore. Thank you so much, Kati! More, more, more on this topic, please 🙏

[@victoryamartin9773]

This was so like my experience that I had to double check that I did not write it. Except for the part of "loving myself again." I don't know how to do that at all. I'm being told by my church that I think too much about myself and need to deny those thoughts. How do I love myself while denying myself?

[@stephb3791]

@@victoryamartin9773 Go with your "gut" just like Kati mentioned. Sometimes the right thing for ourselves is the uncomfortable thing. (I think I learned that from Kati too). My whole life, I kept falling into the same pattern because even though it was bad for me, it felt comfortable. Maybe if you let yourself LEAN IN to the uncomfortable and trust your inner voice that wants to care for you, you might find that you are, in fact, lovable and worthy of love and you deserve to think about yourself. Ultimately, The only influence that matters is YOU ❤

[@SDrareRedhead]

I JUST had this conversation with my therapist between the difference and how I have problems disconnecting the two, leading to spirals into making my thoughts into who I am as a person. ex: My negative thoughts make me a bad person. Isolating more microscopic parts of the roots of the tree! ;) 😊. From reading the comments, it’s like you had divine timing! ❤🎉 Happy New Year Kati!

[@SDrareRedhead]

Is that Sean in the background? Lol. He is hardly moving! 😂

[@markgordon4619]

You are a really good teacher

[@laurenl720]

Please do more videos about this! I tend to overthink due to past trauma. 🙁 happy new year! 🎉

[@leizee1011]

This is honestly so helpful and came as such a perfect time, thank you so much for this video. I always struggle with over-intellectualizing and I realize that I never get to "feel my feelings". My body always feels tense and not at ease, which explains a lot given how I'm not engaging with my emotions proactively. Recently I was mentally spiraling due to reminiscing some past memories, and I often worry with how much my thoughts consume me. For the longest time I assumed it was bc of my feelings, when in reality it's my thoughts that were negatively impacting me. Once again, thanks so much for the video and I'm gonna save this into my personal playlist ❤️

[@loreliechristensen3316]

This so resonated with me! I will be re-watching again and again. Thank you Katie ❤

[@KJDogluv]

Thank you !

[@HeathaLynn13]

I totally resonated with that comment on your last video. I am SO glad you made this. This is a huge problem for me and I just realized it. It’s like you gave me a piece to a puzzle I’ve been missing. I’d love more videos on this. I took extensive notes so I can look back. I also printed the feelings wheel

[@tracirex]

really good question, really good answer. thank you

[@Katimorton]

Glad you enjoyed it!🤗🤗

[@23skidoodrew]

I've been struggling with ths kind of thing a lot, I'm still not sure like what the threshold is for letting yourself feel your feelings vs just intillectualizing them vs refusing to entertain the thought. Thank you so much for all you do and for this video! :)

[@petraharwin9670]

Really helpful. Thank you!

[@Katimorton]

Glad it was helpful! You’re welcome 😃

[@madisonburke3588]

Kati this is mine (and my husbands) biggest hurdle!! I know speaking for myself I do the “I feel [insert thought here]” for sure, I also let my thoughts whip my emotions into a frenzy until I feel so overwhelmed my behavior is out of line with my values. This is especially hard!! I have no problem feeling my feelings or identifying them, I’m very emotional and emotional oriented. I do let my thoughts run away with me though and hijack my emotions. 😅

[@ilianaboheme]

Love the way you explained this! Thank you Katie. Happy new year!

[@markuswunsch]

I am still intellectualizing far too much.

[@phyju]

Go into nature. Sit and stare at it around you. Let the mud settle in the water.

[@Katimorton]

I feel that.. sometimes it helps me to tap into how I am feeling in my body. That can pull me out of my head sometimes :)

[@socialmediaaccount4206]

U know what you’re doing. This is a necessary part of your life. You are actively choosing this path so the future will be easier. Trust yourself

[@IAmJustFlux]

Yes, thank you for your videos! And yes this is really hard.

[@DavidKSmith-w9m]

Allow me to comment on the "why vs what is?" question. My friend Tasha Eurich uses a strategy called "Ask What, not Why." When we encounter problems, we can often overthink the solution, just like you said about constantly asking why. We need to determine what we can do about the problem more than why it happened, at least as a beginning strategy.

[@jimlbeam]

People ask me how I'm feeling and sometimes I have to say I have to think about that.

[@0xymor3]

I think this is a precious gift to end the year. Thank you Katie. Also I was wondering if you can choose your feelings ? Like you have a minor argument so you feel your unconfortable emotions but you decide and tell yourself "this will not ruin my evening" and because of that, you can be open to find some joy and have an overall great evening. (happened to me once) You didn"t supressed anything but you choosed to focus on the "positive". Might not be applicable all the time. Also I was thinking about bad habits and feeling stuck. Which for me are a great mess of recognizing what is what or what comes first or from where or why. Food for thoughts, I will journal about this ! My best wishes to you and your loved ones for 2025 !

[@liztetley3609]

This is so helpful. Thanks. Where do emotions fit? Are they the same as feelings?

[@aprilcarbonneau5519]

I struggle with this too, and my therapist has had me do homework where I have to seperate the thought from the feeling and then challenge the thought and it has helped me because most of the time my thoughts were not rational so I was able to challenge them and then dismiss them. I would like to hear more of your thoughts and tips and tricks on this though, thank you.

[@autism_and_niamh]

A very well tined video! My brain has been attacking me of late :( Thank you for this Kati x

[@natalieperez69]

I my opinion a thought are ideas without being attached to emotions. A feeling are ideas with emotion. Feelings are the catalyst for action. The stronger the feeling the more impactful our actions can become. It is good to separate thoughts from feelings but that very exercise requires an action that feelings introduced in the first place. That is why taken time to pause, reflect and to consider is the guide for a better response for our feelings.

[@HCoop444]

Plz expand on this!!

[@Kym-u8w]

I'm a thinker, deep thinker and that stops me from doing what I really want to do and be. I over think. I only go out to my apps and grocery shop. I don't interact with people. I use to but like I said.... my over thinking stops me from doing things

[@4Beats4Me]

If I can't get where my weird mood is coming from, I may never get out of it. Process is puntuation. Fit into paragraph. Move on; its developing. Feeling because - because? May still be processing. This is what higher forms do. I thought. Not a bad idea to make room for the process.

[@coughsglitter]

❤❤❤❤

[@ebbenielsen7]

Yes, emotions often arise very spontaneously and instinctively-triggered by an stimulus. But I think you underestimate how often we, through our thoughts, including overthinking, worrying, and rumination, actively generate emotions ourselves. And perhaps it’s actually more common for thoughts to trigger emotions than for something instinctive to trigger us

[@jimlbeam]

I overthink we're over analyze the situation especially in the past that that didn't have great results. Oftentimes I was misunderstood. People say you never get excited about anything. Sometimes reply I really don't want to get too excited about something because what if it fails then the feeling of loss or disappointment becomes a bigger feeling than the excitement

[@irenagorenc7214]

Result of a trauma,overthinking,intelectualizing emotions,because we are dissociated from them.😢

[@vivvy_0]

my feelings ruin me and my thoughts try to dull them out so I'm thankful😅

[@evelynlust2747]

Thoughts relate to information, thoughts control our emotions. Thoughts need to be evaluated so they don't drive our lives into emotions that don't match the real information around us.

[@darlenehernandez2867]

coming from a christian background this info is great, in the christian circle we’re taught to deny our feelings

[@jasonfanclub4267]

My thoughts and feelings are driving me crazy

[@leeannschaffer1433]

🎉This was ALL OUTSTANDING!!! ❤ I understand that I have so many unprocessed emotions that can completely derail me. I also understand that will continue to happen until I process the emotions - feel the feelings. Sometimes, I wish I could just fast forward, but there's not a way to do that. --but also, most of the time, I find myself wondering exactly WHAT I should DO to make that happen. Your recommendations here really started to give me a method to use to proceed. I am once again overwhelmed with gratitude for you being on the planet at the same time I am, Katie. You're amazing.👏 Thank you. 🫶

[@shaeemfatima4793]

Hi Katie, can you please make video on difference between being introvert or social anxiety.

[@sentienttrees]

"I think this is hopeless, and I feel defeated." "I feel like a screw-up" "I think I've screwed things up and I feel hopeless." "I think that I've screwed up and that this is all hopeless and I feel defeated"

[@MissiJade]

Would you say that feelings arise more from our subconscious, while our thoughts are what shape or influence the emotions we experience? I hope this makes sense. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@Disciple4eternity]

I over think when I feel I missed an opportunity presented to me and live with regrets.

[@victoryamartin9773]

I was hoping to hear more about how to extinguish intrusive thoughts that give rise to anxiety after being traumatized.

[@lbjcb5]

She has some great videos on intrusive thought. I suggest looking through her channel.

[@KimmoteräväkynäNurmi]

All feelings are lies. Also all thoughts are lies, except practical ones, which human being needs, when doing every day useful things (work, exercise etc).

[@iamkruciall4391]

Toooooo late.

[@AuntieBri5]

Thank you for this Kati. I definitely intellectualize everything. My emotional sides of my brain versus the logical part of my brain definitely have a gulf the size of the grand canyon between them. But while I intellectualize everything, my emotional mind is in control? How is that? I can rationalize why a feeling is popping up and explain the reasoning (most of the time), but I will still respond with my emotional side. Even though I don't show my emotions, I just go numb and stuff them down into a hole in the basement where they can go to die, my emotions still color everything I do? Why does that happen?

[@hcmangs3634]

Not sure if I’m missing something, is major anxiety not considered feelings?

[@DaveIdiens]

I have been diagnosed as having clinical depression. I have seen many therapists and a psychiatrist since I was 45 and am now 77. I still have many negative thoughts that lead to me feeling sad and lonely. I have read a couple books, even with workbooks. I have tried challenging my thoughts but after a little while, I stop trying to change them. Do you have any thoughts about my situation? If you do, please share them with me.

[@seedy6538]

I am confused I have so many intrusive thoughts. It is upsetting. I try to accept, allow, and let it go.

[@philipppatzen3]

meditate and work on it like an obsessive freak till you stop thinking at all XD

[@DaisyAruba]

13:34 very helpful

[@declanfraser9033]

You're right where I'm at. Really. Except 🦕🦈🦗

[@IMeanMachine101]

Wait how do you know when your over thinking something and how can you get out of it if you find stimulation in it and thus triggers hyper focus on said logic?

[@Burialhound]

I have a question. I have been involved in therapy/psychiatric services on and off since the 80's. Why does it feel like the quality of mental health services is so low and ineffective now?

[@MyMusicIsInsane]

I severely struggle with feelings; identifying them and feeling them. I’m not sure how to fix this. I have tried the feelings wheel in the past.

[@andrewhiggins9274]

Hi Katy Do You ever get the chance to Watch other KZbinrs? PopCross and Weird Darkness usually do Quotes at the end of Their Videos If You've Seen these what do You Think of them?

[@rubylace9963]

I'm an overthinker but I always feel things deeply too so can someone explain?

[@beshirful]

It's about cognitive relationships. Thoughts and filings have the same source: cognitive construction.....

[@daniels4209]

ya this doesn't compare when my brain hallucinate events that didn't happen. i see people for a few seconds and thats enough to quote get a girl friend. i don't get this part about me. but i had girl friends for a few seconds per day before. its not my response to admit i was wrong or she was wrong. i had maturity in my life to grow these few minutes a day with females interactions. my job use to be produce the most parts now its lift all that is built and give out parts. i get people to not say anything to me. i still stare at them for 2 minutes then leave. i pick up on heart beat and breathing often first then i ask how there day is. im really a force modifier at my work. i would say i bring 125% when others might only do 99%

[@elizabethCorkins83]

❤

[@teegutta4689]

GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY TO SEE HOW EVERYONE IS DOING THIS MORNING HAVE A BLESSED DAY AND HOLIDAYS TEE,OG NEED LOVE TO 💪💙✌️💨👑☕

[@RazahRubiez11]

All thoughts are demonic. They are meaningless

[@eva_mons]

I am feeling exposed 😂😅

[@RealJojo4]

Ok

[@light-against-the-darkness]

Is discomfort " Really "being caused by a person, place or thing... ? Or, is it just revealing who I really am...? 🥸🎶