How to Survive the Medieval Ages in Mount and Blade Warband! Dank Edition ✔

[@Koifish]

*DEUS VULT!* Whoa boy, that's one LONG video! Also, CHECK OUT AB's channel, for all your ancient and non ancient language needs! kzbin.info/door/oDe_IIpA8fI8ENpIWWOEdQ

[@tiarnacais9656]

Gaeilge?

[@DarkCT]

DEUS VULT!

[@deusvult7771]

Ave Maria!

[@smygskytt1712]

Koifish, just no. Deus Vult began as a gaming meme but the "joke" part is now nothing more than a thinly veiled excuse by the teenage alt right to say they think brown people don't deserve human rights.

[@Koifish]

@@smygskytt1712 Is drinking milk and giving the OK sign racist too? >:C

[@thisenperera8591]

"Oh, there once was a hero named Koifish the Red, Who came riding to Sargoth from old Rivacheg ..."

[@CairnWD]

And the braggart did swagger and brandish his blade As he told of bold battles and gold he had made But then he went quiet, did Koifish the Red When he met the shieldmaiden, Matilda, who said: "Oh you talk, and you lie, and you drink all our mead Now I think it's high time that you lie down and bleed" And so then came clashing and slashing of steel As the brave lass Matilda charged in full of zeal And the braggart named Koifish was boastful no more When his ugly red head rolled around on the floor

[@Koifish]

NOT MY HEAD :C

[@sovysr5301]

@@CairnWD BRAVO 👏 3 years later…😂🤌🏼

[@Tsuyuri193]

@@sovysr5301 😂😂

[@Pyre001]

I'm playing AD1257 right now. You can travel from Spain to Poland in about three days. It's better than real life.

[@Pyre001]

@Medo A Nothing. I just haul trading caravans and cows from one place to another and make a ton of money.

[@Pyre001]

@@6969no ModDB, but you can find it pretty easily just googling

[@soniamachado7284]

Bro i play in the Kingdom of Portugal you cant travel from Lisboa to Russia in six days

[@badoucancel9332]

I got king of crusaders, holy roman empire, and france by succession (just keep joining faction and get a lot of renown and your ensured to be the next king by succession)

[@ahmadtarek7763]

@@badoucancel9332 how does succession trigger? As I remember you can't kill characters and they don't age, so how did you become king?

[@YunsAvatar]

7:18 when Koifish says someone looks like Kylo Ren when he clearly looks more like Jon Snow. Of course, since Koifish wants to be King in the North, it's not likely that he would point that out.

[@NaCk210]

he did sort of look like kylo ren tho

[@Koifish]

THE PLOT THICKENS!

[@animatronicfuturisticshama1153]

All anglo-saxons look the same. YEAH, that's right, I said it, come at me anglo-lovers.

[@williamhammann3170]

I don't see why he didn't say so, he killed the man after all!

[@kingharlaus8521]

@@animatronicfuturisticshama1153 C'mere, ya *PANSEY*!

[@x2ernal357]

I WILL DRINK FROM YOUR SKULL

[@FriendlyArchpriest]

C-Raider > Sea Raider

[@magdalenaschnitzer92]

Hey i was about to say that

[@Vagooor]

THAT'S A NICE HEAD YOU HAVE ON YOUR SHOULDERS

[@15andersh]

IT'S ALMOST SKULL HARVESTING SEASON

[@tomaszkrawczyk9344]

LESS TALKIN' MOAR RAIDIN'

[@ar7hieb900]

As a dane i was extremely surprised by your fluent danish. Absolutely magnificent.

[@Koifish]

I am a master of all languages!

[@ashwinnmyburgh9364]

@@Koifish I mean, you pronounced "Montes Sicarii" pretty well, so, seems legit to me lol

[@maiqtheliar7162]

You know its bad when mountain hobos are better equiped then you

[@Koifish]

Very bad!

[@rulerchara3049]

the game : kingdom of france Koifish : kingdom of surrender Me : *heavy french triggered sound*

[@hannibalburgers477]

@@wendyfernandez1081 Quick family guy cut to routing old guard in the Waterloo. Nananana fahmelee gai

[@YunsAvatar]

I want to be a blacksmithing dentist! People's braces might be made of lead and be larger than their heads, but it will be fun!

[@robertdicke7249]

surgeons used to be barbers as well since surgeries n the like weren't frequent and well paying enough for most of them to make a living on alone. Before costumers could travel far and fast like today, more niche services would be one of several skills a professional would have for the sake of more reliable work and by extension income. Cant know with koifish but some blacksmiths may have very well have done dentistry for the extra money when ever the service was needed.

[@Koifish]

You can call it "Bitey-Stabby"!

[@ENER8Y]

dear Koifish i found out about ur channel last night because i just bought mount and blade on ps4 and im in school right now but i cant stop laughing at your vidoes your a great youtuber keep up the work

[@amon5393]

"Now for the reason I set out on this adventure. It was not the loss of a loved one..." ten seconds later "No, it was the loss of a loved one." Genius

[@Koifish]

SNEAKY PULLED!

[@unifieddynasty]

1257 is the bestest medieval mod. I especially liked the one update that gave every castle like 5 villages and made the map actually feel populated albeit with immense lag.

[@chestervalois2870]

Last time we saw the Koifish family as the emperor of Rome for a day but the secret was he had a son that became the great grandfather of Charlemagne the Koifish who then was the great grandfather of Koifish the Crusader

[@Koifish]

The plot THICKENS!

[@Waureiz]

I've rarely enjoyed watching someone else play a game that much. I mean, I didn't just smile, I laughted out loud. Keep up the craziness while I'm going to download this awesome looking mod.

[@Koifish]

Thanks my dude! :D glad i could entertain!

[@NatsumiMichi]

Your linguistic abilities never fail to be astounding. I haven't heard a Danish accent this good since C raiders wiped my party and started arguing on what cocktail to drink from our skulls...

[@nord2524]

Never seen anyone use a clip from Ronja Rövardotter (3:45) on KZbin before, brilliant!

[@YunsAvatar]

Now we know why Shaggy is always high. You would be too if you've been to Hell and back so many times. Jinkies!

[@Koifish]

JOINKIS VULT!

[@topshaggerdavid3587]

Bohemians…...God be with you Henry

[@DainnGreywall]

HENRY BE PRAISED!

[@justiniand6a788]

Hey, Henry's come to see us!

[@-alex-919]

I’m feeling quite hungry

[@larry_fay6995]

What do you think your doing? don't you know its forbidding to go around at night without a light of any kind?

[@chuckn4851]

@@larry_fay6995 Mm, could you go a little lower on the price?

[@ldblokland463]

Apparently a friend of mine has nobles as ancestors. Their castle got blown up in the latr 17th century. Near Valkenburg, Limburg, The Netherlands.

[@Koifish]

Did they survive the medieval ages?

[@ldblokland463]

@@Koifish kinda... I mean my friend still lives. But the serfs shall rise!

[@droidcommander9305]

Bro I live there, is it the one on the Cauberg?

[@justiniand6a788]

24:21 "AVE MARIA, MOTHERF*CKERS!!!" XD

[@JinxBigStompa]

Koifish: "Now the reason I set out on this adventure, it was not the loss of a loved one, it was not being forced out of my home, it was not wanderlust, it was the loss of a loved one" 10/10

[@serentegames9631]

"GLORY TO THE SIN'DOREI! wait wrong game" Best line. also now we know he's a horde man of culture

[@Stenly17]

> Sweden > Big Black Rooster Does the art imitate reality, or does the reality imitate art?

[@ssito3515]

This is cancer... and i love it

[@Koifish]

Get treatment! :D

[@combustiblecatholic6930]

"Kingdom of north England" WHY YOU.... REEEEEEEE

[@amberaerts8474]

Finally a M&B video where Koifish doesn't get defeated in the end

[@AtlasNL]

A long long time ago, actually never, but also now, nothing is nowhere

[@shadowofthehitokiri5787]

Brief history of the world.

[@darkpaladin9130]

You don't even need a when That's how every it gets

[@willmcmahon8175]

hold up

[@clotclot4095]

You should do an entire serie on this mod. Like joining the crusade or conquering the Nord. This mod is fantastic

[@aperry8810]

I wonder if anyone ever comes to these videos thinking they're actual tutorials

[@Koifish]

They are. What are you talking about :O

[@johnbongjoey5200]

The thing with most young adult genre films is that they’re neither sophisticated enough for adults to appreciate nor do they completely embrace the camp sensibilities of teen dramas. This results in movies that seem to take themselves too seriously despite having cheesy plots. We saw the same problem repeat itself in Spartacus (1960), and though Dirty Dancing (1982) is a minor step up in quality, it isn’t gripping enough to keep you in your seats. Directed by Ry-Russon Young and based on a YA book of the same name, "How to Survive the Medieval Ages in Mount and Blade Warband" is a cross between 2001 A Space Odyssey (1968), Death Wish 3 (1985) and Suburban Commando (1991), and the oeuvre of Nicholas Sparks. This is the kind of film that invites much thought during and afterward. The story leads you to constantly question what is really happening at any given moment, and whenever you are certain that you know exactly what is going to happen, something new appears to make you question that. There is a powerful and intense atmosphere of dread and stress throughout, all building to a terrifying conclusion, but I was taken unawares by how emotional the whole thing would be. This is a very poignant film. The characters seem real, and the performances are excellent, especially from the lead, Logan Marshall-Green. This film casts a very potent spell and I can say that days later I am still thinking about it. I can't think of anything quite like it. It certainly made me frightened to visit California

[@wantingsquire9712]

Do the lord of the rings mod

[@Koifish]

One does not simply waltz into Mordor!

[@wantingsquire9712]

Oh really then we must dly

[@wantingsquire9712]

Fly

[@akmalfakhruddin7285]

@@Koifish we're still waiting sir koifishsson

[@sparepartssparepartsempori519]

I like to Imagine koifish has a kazoo in a holster attached to his belt. And another one next to the keyboard, just in case.

[@MrComradeDave]

Long live the holy city of Yersusalem!

[@Koifish]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERusalem

[@SupremeArchitecturalVisionary]

MrComradeDave адрес и номер один

[@kubajcz]

jerusalem communist idiot

[@henrik1220]

*Oursalem

[@furryhunter6114]

Koifish: how to survive the middle ages. the actual video: how to reclaim the holy land.

[@colmoe]

Next video: How to fight the roman empire featuring playing as the Jews! (Imperial Rome mod)

[@Koifish]

OY VEY!

[@nvmtt]

@@firstnamett4656 my roman empire playthrough. > at war with jews >they got mercenary warriors with no elites. so run them over easily. >got castles safe and sound in gaul and italy. > jews get restricted to 2 cities. > suddenly emperor makes peace with them for no reason. >5 factions immediately declare war on us > rush back to europe to defend my own castles,leaving the new conquests vulnerable. >jews declare war on parthia (who were holding their old estates.) > parthians peace out due to onslaught from us and them. >jews get even more territory than they had before..... we are left with no new lands and now are barely holding back 4 barbarian hordes from all sides (brits,germans,gauls and sarmatians) with more and more factions sensing our weakness and declaring war one by one (greeks and the southern empire). >whoever designed that AI knew what he was doing.

[@justcallmehfenux1186]

It's simple really just. DRINK FROM EVERYONE'S SKULL

[@paulokamacho5239]

M

[@Koifish]

C RAIDER!

[@Jar_Of_HotIce]

Medival ages =/= dark ages. Dark ages are part of the medival period. In 1257 the dark ages have already ended.

[@Koifish]

Dark ages, more like *DORK AGES*

[@ripstarwars6992]

Dark ages is coming again, look around

[@samuraidesempregado9693]

Did you have lamps on the streets at time ?So, dark ages

[@midas0306]

Every age is dark if your goth

[@grandape3770]

Nobody agrees on when the dark ages happened.

[@ilijaristic1120]

when you start in sweden fighting bandits and finish on the crusade you made you life

[@NetoKruzer]

I laughed so much when you said: Ave María Mutta Fuckers xD Your best line ever!!! And... Deus Volt!!!

[@Koifish]

YEET!

[@SenderBudYerGood]

"everyone charge, it's what the lord would have wanted" hahaha

[@carltonbauheimer]

Unless my ears deceive me I'm positive I'm hearing some music from the Dominions 3 soundtrack! That game had phenomenal music.

[@Koifish]

Very good!

[@victrix6903]

This makes me wanna get a good gaming pc and warband SO MUCH

[@mattdelumen750]

Ah, the ancient ballad of Taketh on me. Classic

[@Koifish]

Serf on me!

[@DCdabest]

"For the Glory of Christ, come here you muppet!" - Saint Koifish

[@Borgarlol]

am i the only one who liked him singing koifish the red

[@Kittypower3422]

No

[@Koifish]

I loved it.

[@schattenhuhn611]

"Kingdom of western sweden" This one really got me

[@-alex-919]

Western Sweden? Why you bully me?

[@RicoJohnDAmuan]

"AVE MARIA MOTHERFUCKERS!!" That cracked me up. Hahaha

[@dragenmaster5385]

14:00 lmao that shield

[@YoloHunt]

I couldn’t stop laughing through out this video, fucking great mate. Thank you for making this

[@michaelcianci2564]

YES KOIFISH PLAYED THIS MOD. Victory screech. REEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[@someonesilence3731]

@Daniel di Martino Anno dominion 1257

[@klausjager1826]

France- "Kigdom of surrender" Koifish, You hae my respect :) Greeting from Poland!

[@matthiasg760]

Never forget that the "kingdom of surrender" gave you back your independance (yeah my bad, it was an empire at that period).

[@klausjager1826]

@@matthiasg760 Yeah, I know but You know lol

[@matthiasg760]

@@klausjager1826 :)

[@ari3903]

Idea: how to survive game of thrones, Mod: "Clash of Kings"

[@Philipp.of.Swabia]

After seeing this guy destroying Danes and Russians while screaming in Swedish, I have to say that I’m glad that we were allied with this guys nation 800 years ago, my ancestor would have been terrified to fight him...xD

[@Gerson742101]

The KINGDOM OF SURRENDER 🤦🏻‍♂️😂😂 Im done

[@aleksanderuzelac3319]

Koifish speaking Swedish sounds like he is having a stroke

[@JG-id5vi]

His english isnt much better. Poor guy.

[@Mizukageize]

You dont want to piss off Bohemians, hating foreigners is what we were always best at.

[@smygskytt1712]

I don't know, you have always been all right at ice hockey.

[@FilipMoncrief]

From my experience Czech people are kind to foreigners

[@Mizukageize]

@@FilipMoncrief Ever heard about Hussites? Or if were speaking more current age, try to find an immigrant in Czechia. Other folks are all right tho, if they dont start talking about communism that is. We still remember it quite well, and no, it just doesnt work.

[@FilipMoncrief]

@@Mizukageize sry but you are full of shit hussites waged a religious war against germans and czechs who were catholic (siege of Pilsen for ex.) I actually know a lot of people who immigrated to Czech. Rep. form Mexico, South Africa, US, or Spain and they all fell good with czech people.

[@Mizukageize]

@@FilipMoncrief You gotta ruin the fun, eh? Hussites were known for pillaging churches in neighboring countries and they repelled 4 (or was it 5?) crusades. Hence dont fuck with bohemians "joke" And were quite well known in european union for strongly conservative point of view on the whole immigrant shenanigans (same with Poland for example). Now, kindly fuck off

[@valdemarballisager4942]

i'm danish and he is clearly a expert in the danish tounge... i feel threatend every time i see a koifish episode

[@marcooosbibendorsht1334]

Feeeeesh

[@Koifish]

FÄÄÄÄSH!

[@vanedrim8060]

"Ave Maria motherfuckers" - Koifish 2018

[@Jayden-1001-p8z]

Luv yur vids can’t finish cuz in class though

[@Koifish]

Yee watch them AFTER class!

[@Jayden-1001-p8z]

Thx I was in the middle of a presentation still love you tho no homo

[@zacharyreitmeier213]

"Why did I set out on my own? It wasn't loss of a lovers one, lust for money and power, or wanderlust. It was loss of a loved one.

[@Koifish]

SNEAKY BEAKY!

[@VadevaEdits]

Kingdom of northern England - Scotland 😂😂😂😂

[@masahirosakurai8227]

nobody mentioning his Danish LMAO that shit had me dead

[@fruitysnack3806]

Sweden

[@Koifish]

Very much Sweden!

[@uhhbonk]

Koifish:not the lose of a love one Koifish:not being forced out of my home Koifish:not wanderlust Koifish:no it was the lost of the love one

[@Monke-fj2qz]

Take on Ragnar

[@Koifish]

Take on pope

[@NOVABRUTE]

This video was amazing I literally loved every second of it

[@Koifish]

Very good! :D

[@NOVABRUTE]

Koifish I love you

[@NOVABRUTE]

Koifish showed this to my friends who don’t even play mount and blade and they died

[@n.d.1846]

... He has almost stolen *ÖNIONS*

[@Koifish]

ÖNIONS!

[@Hunterofbones]

+Koifish Shrek is dissapointed of you...

[@ripstertipster156]

“Is your next door neighbor making too much noise? Accuse her of witch craft. Ez pz lemon squeezy” I’m ded

[@Koifish]

*it works!*

[@ArgaJacint]

19:29 I'm a goulash boy and I find this offensive!

[@therandomdickhead5744]

Gulyás

[@ArgaJacint]

​@@therandomdickhead5744 Te is magyar vagy? Nem vagyok itt egyedül?

[@therandomdickhead5744]

Sajnos ja, mondjuk már alig beszélek magyarul lol

[@hblab]

@@ArgaJacint Nem hát! ;)

[@wonderfluff4830]

Vagyunk egy páran :D

[@mrorange8576]

19:02 made me think of the song "Winged Hussars " by Sabaton. mainly because a Swedish guy was yelling about reinforcements

[@Koifish]

I am the Swedish guy :D

[@Beatle1283]

I think, I'm not sure but i think you had a stroke there for a moment and started speaking gibberish, or it was Swedish. Not much of a difference though anyway.

[@Koifish]

Strokish is a real language!

[@forromir5929]

didn't know this was gonna turn into some religious propaganda

[@Koifish]

Yes. 100% propaganda. 100% serious no jokes here.

[@alexandroshadow]

Love the vid man.... Yeah i know you reached way over the 40k you wanted but still.... u got one more sub!

[@arkansas9504]

Jesus Christ your danish -sucks- is the best

[@Koifish]

VÄRI GOOD!

[@Vekhh]

11:07 - nah i think Sweden's standard is to fight Poland more than Danes

[@miguelpadeiro762]

Play EU4

[@miguelpadeiro762]

@Dead Memes I already do

[@Koifish]

I'm more of a CK2 guy myself!

[@stormyprawn]

The troubadour bit was really funny lol

[@blonded_458]

NOFISH

[@THEJustinOfAllTime]

Doctor: "you have 27:41 to live" Me: watches this

[@Koifish]

Best decision ever!

[@THEJustinOfAllTime]

@@Koifish

[@alexv4891]

DEUS VULT

[@Koifish]

DEUS VULT!

[@raydric2492]

"Orderly lines fer fak's sake! Have yer heard of a marching?" I laughed for a good few minutes! 😂

[@Koifish]

Väri good! :D

[@asagud1833]

second

[@CalebColeTrain]

Best one in a while. Well done koifish

[@Koifish]

I totally agree! :D thank you!

[@420-FM]

you are so crazy ^^ i just sub good job bro

[@alem9477]

Yesssss , its Friday and i have a Koifish video to watchhhh , thank you master :) (PS:Luv your content bro)

[@Koifish]

Thanks my dude! :D

[@_sSs_Andreii]

laughed so hard :D much wow Please start a let's play series as a low Swedish noble trying his best to become king.

[@Koifish]

Perhaps!

[@franzbauer1367]

11:37 when your feudal lord makes you plow his field but this song plays on the radio

[@Koifish]

*T'is be myne jameth!*

[@HajjDoDo]

@@Koifish what is it called

[@TroelsTheGod]

When you spoke "danish" I was really confused. I had absolutely no idea what you said.

[@mustangunique3214]

Heey very nice videos! I love that you use those cool medieval songs, curiously enough, i have all the songs u use in mi pc!

[@tyconislife8387]

This dude was held captive outside of Stockholm anybody get it

[@tyconislife8387]

Bernard Valentin stockholm syndrome is where someone has been captured or lost and its been so long their mind starts to like and not want to leave it (its a mental disorder)

[@jwoellhof]

Me: I have so much fun with Mount and Blade. Koifish: Hold my öl.

[@masahirosakurai8227]

all koifish's classic warband videos are gone, like how to time travel, but at least this video remains where did all the classics go? :(

[@watspoon1837]

I am not going out because of the loss of a loved one, 30 seconds later, i am going out because the loss of a loved one!

[@Koifish]

SNEAKY SUCCESSFULLY PULLED!

[@bigmonke7661]

When you speak Norwegian so hearing Koifish you only understand every other word

[@valandes1861]

You mean west Sweden?

[@carltonbauheimer]

I like your videos so much I don't block the ads.

[@Koifish]

VERY GOOD! :D

[@DainnGreywall]

By the way Koifish, I can appreciate a man who splices in clips from Ronja Røverdatter into their videos. It seems you were raised correctly

[@burninsherman7196]

Just one problem... My ancestry may or may not consist almost entirely of Danish and Bohemian

[@starshadow5469]

That was a beautiful Shaggy impression.

[@Koifish]

Thank you, I've been practicing for years!